Thomas, Probably more than a few people, do not have that luxury of someone to talk to when things get overwhelming. I don't have as many friends as I get older, so I really have been dealing with my bigger issues the last couple of years, on my own. Even friends, don't always handle a friend, in a time of crisis, that well. This has taught me to calm down, because I have no choice, since I don't have that kind of support from others,...I have to do that for myself, and it's a great practice. But! being on your own in times of crisis, is very hard, but you can learn new muscles to use, and that's how I look at it. I did hear, from one of the famous spiritual teachers, that being on your own and being lonely could make you sick because it's so against our nature to be on our own. I can say, that many people have done it, including myself, and mostly, it's been an amazing teacher.
I relate to what you’re saying. But I don’t think I’m doing very well at the alone part. I expected to be just fine. But I’m learning that it’s not working for me. Now to figure out how to fix that.
The illusion of isolation is a key symptome of trauma, as unhealthy contact often was the cause , for me that is also sad but true. Therefore I really benefit from good contact very much, thank you for validating this. But of course I also want to be more stable on my own, cause to me this is growing up to my full size, and also helps me to stop repeating the unconscious old patterns of bad relationships. Lately I found a nice way to deal with this "contradiction": When I feel overwhelmed, I think of my grown-up me taking care of my younger self. Then we are already two❤
Thomas is always good for sage advice, but in this case it depends on whether you’re an “inny” or an “outy” - my terms for introverts and extroverts. As an inny, the last thing I need in a state of overwhelm is a chat with more people. I withdraw to refuel, and after enjoying some sunshine and silence I am uplifted and good to go again. We were meant to have breaks and not keep running 24-7, and I think it’s the 24-7 treadmill that is contributing to much of the sense of overwhelm. Maybe we should all just stop more often and take a breather.
I have withdrawn to regroup all my life. What I was missing was how much that prevented me from getting more support. When I really found the support that I needed it changed SO MUCH for me. Much of my introversion was driven by an isolator part. And an avoider. I didn’t know how to find the support that was good for me, so just avoided people as a strategy.
Great advice. I tend to get overwhelmed by excessive 'mindfulness'. I consider so many things when I am around others that I forget myself, and feel that my instability is because I am not trying hard enough, when in fact it is that I have reached my memory capacity. It is like the 'Blue Screen of Death' that computers show when they have too many or too big of a task that they can only freeze and shut down. My Mind is going to be top mindfulness item from now on. Thanks Thomas Hübl.
The overwhelm I've felt for years now has been the result of ongoing daily deluge of bad news regarding our climate, wildlife, the body politic and more. Where at the end of the last administration, I experienced overwhelm continually, unable to take in any more negative news. The overwhelm is paired with helplessness, what can I do? Add this to the pandemic, and I feel more isolated in this smallness.
It can be difficult to see the suffering around us and stay grounded (rather than get caught up in it). It sounds like you care about the world yet have felt overwhelmed by the suffering and destruction happening (a part of what is happening yet not all of it). I love what Thomas says about breathing and slowing down, coming back home (inside). Once I'm at peace with my feelings or in a sense holding them then I can start to let them go. As this process happens I can be of benefit -- notice the BE of benefit, not do of benefit. I'm learning to see that consistent mindful actions from a place of being conscious make a positive difference, and can transform things for those I'm connected with (and in so being/doing this, I'm also transformed). I hope this helps. I'm sure you will make it through.
Antidote for overwhelm...... repeat these words and feel it.. " I... am."..... and then also, "Be... Here.... Now.".... this is basically -- what he's saying... xok
