I was away from the church for 16 years because a Deacon over stepped his boundaries with me, instead of confronting the situation I ran away and married an abusive man, it shipwrecked me for yrs. Now I'm back people are not close and literally stay at arms length so they don't have to connect. Churches are growing cold and not like you are describing, I long for a church like you are talking about. Please pray God Revives the church so that we can love each other like that 🙏
Unfortunately I have experienced this too. No connections, people are distant & occupied, no sense of what Dr Cloud is talking about here, and I agree with his perspective and explanation.
I have experienced not having anyone close in the church too. Now by God's grace I have people in my church that I'm closer. I have realised that it's important to pray for God to give you good Christian friends/ family and to get to know people. Sometimes I have met people in church who were a bit narcissistic or a bit judgmental. But I have also met good people that I can trust. I have learned that even within church there are safe and unsafe people.
I super agree with you Dr Cloud that each of us needs a supportive family of choice over the years coz it puts structure in our individual lives and we're able to cope up when situations become unbearable! Deeply grateful for this timely enriching segment Dr Cloud!
read yesterday, that *"it is hard when you long to go 🏡 home and no longer have one."* was discarded by spouse who also turned our children away from me by painting me in a negative way, controlled them with $, spouse *blamed everyone else* for what went wrong in our marriage and in their [spouse] life, and s/he parked in perpetual victimhood. took a long time to realize what i had been dealing with [ through the help from couples therapist ]. with therapy, spouse became more sophisticated in their abuse. not until the matriarch of my side of family passed, did s/he turn up the heat in 'devaluating,' mask came off. not until the therapist suggested a particular book to read, was i able to look back at all the years worth of missed red flags 🚩🚩🚩 of grudge holding, punishing (retribution), silent treatment, hood at playiń "victim", rageaholic, blameshifter, lying, two-faced, easily triggered, sarcastic, extremely defensive, lived in the past, unforgiving and unapologetic (to name a few). having lived in just about constant 'HYPERVIGILANCE' being frequently threatened, often my cell phone was taken away by force when attempted to reach out for help, the service suspended, select contacts deleted without warning or phone memory erased. my spouse would disrupt my sleep on purpose almost nightly (toward the end), neglected my emotional needs for relationship, isolated our children and i. all this and more caused me to question who i am/forget who i was. but in order *"to save a drowning man he must surrender completely. if he fights, you both will drown* (often to terrified to take the risk)." i surrendered to a higher power, God. and better use of my resources went to purchasing and reading books & workbooks on *"boundaries."* also enrolling in classes that teach this. classes that have you practice through roll play. also joined support groups that hold semester long studies on setting 'healthy boundaries' (groups with confidentiality agreements). this is what has made a difference in my life. not only in dealing with those types, but also the flying monkeys and in inter-personal relationships in general. best investment i have made in a long time. this is just one persons insight, not advice. nami 5th principle of support. *'we find strength in sharing experiences'*
Please pray for my family, my son. I lost my youngest in oct, one of my other sons is really struggling. Well, we all are. I'm in a different state, am not able to be there at this time.
The problem is people including those in the church are selfish now, it’s not like it use to be anymore. It’s very hard to find this community I have been trying for years. I hope it doesn’t sound like I am making excuses but just reality
This verse Jesus spoke stood out to me today; Mt10:42 "And whoever gives one of these little ones only a cup of cold water in the name of a disciple, assuredly, I say to you, he/she shall by no means lose his/her reward." Verse 40 & 41 are equally amazing to consider.
