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The key to a good relationship is time. Don’t give all of yourself away too soon in the passion of the moment. Keep the mystery and the chase alive by not giving yourself until he’s ready to commit. Make him give more before he gets the prize. Then you won’t get hurt. The key is knowing your worth and holding out for real love.
stay away from me i have trust issues Thanks. This is based on my personal experience. I think women have really been cheated by the sexual revolution into giving away their power. Men get spoiled by too much sex, too soon. It’s not good for either sex. Sex should be the final seal on a lifelong love, not a freebie to get a guy interested. If that’s what it takes, then he’s not worth it.
@Ashley Chapman I understand. These are times when men’s hearts have grown cold, but I hope you don’t throw yourself away on someone undeserving. I also understand when women stay in bad relationships so they can have kids. These are hard times for women, with few honorable men, but women do have power and can change men and the culture by withholding themselves until they find the men who treat them right.
Another reason for being attracted to the wrong type of men has to do with your father, and how he treated you and your mother. We tend to repeat these relationships without knowing it.
Yeah like me from broken family, grew up without parents especially my father to guide so i feel like when a man give me attention i get easily attached and i enjoy it, its like i long for somones love and presence since i dnt have parents by my side most of the time
Not only, I have a very great dad and great relationship with him but still I have been in several abusive relationships. For women the ratio for abusive partners if 3out of 5 relationships, while for men it’s 1 out of 9, not all women have bad fathers, therefore I believe the reason is that most men are abusive.
Too true. I was the one who made the first move. Now we've been married for 40 yrs. He said he was just waiting for the perfect timing. Hah! Nonsense. I'd be waiting forever lol
Jennifer Lorence lol He even literally ran away, like really really ran away whenever he see me, damn I swear I haven’t done anything strange to him! So confused 😅
@@lalitaanne I am Sorry for that because I understand where You're coming from. And You're Right it is very confusing when a person reacts that way when they See You and you know You did Nothing questionable, but at that point when a person behaves like that know that is usually because they have mental problems. That is Not the right behavior of a person who has a Sound mind. There are a lot of people that function, or apparently they do, function properly in Society, but they are High-Functioning because You don't know if they are taking medications for a mental-illness, or an emotional imbalance that You don't know about and they react that way. Just Know that NObody with an Sound Adult Mind will behave that Way, even if they didn't like the person, they will keep Grounded and Not Run away. Maybe in his Brain Development he is a 12 Year Old. Or, maybe he's Just a Dumb Old Man, I've Seen those too!!!!!!!! I know You must feel bad, but I Can guarantee You that is NOT YOU the problem, especially if You Know that you did nothing wrong to that person. Also, some men had a bad experience with a woman in the Past and they Stay Stuck in the Past and never move on, and then when They See a female that likes them (in the future) then they Run away, because they are Judging Every Female the Same. And if that is the Case, You don't want a man like that in Your life.
To shy men: Be creative. Do what it takes. There are lots of ways to approach a woman without looking aggressive or stupid. I found out 20 years later that a guy I really liked, liked me back as much but nothing happened cause he was too shy. Such a shame. I spent all these years thinking he wasn't interested.
I got creative once. It worked. But then she told me she had a bf. It crushed me. I want to do it again (with someone else). Just haven't found the strength yet.
I have had ENOUGH of bad boys, mind games, tricks and lies. I long for a man that likes peace and quiet. I may have met him. Thank you for your videos!! They are very apprecisted!!!❤❤❤
😂 LOVE your imitation of the guy who sees an attractive woman and tries to play it cool -awesome! So what I assumed... So sweet to see especially in successful men; and with success I mean socially successful and with a job / life that fulfils him
@@Catherine_Kate Dating a shy guy and he IS passive aggressive. He isn't good at communicating when he's bothered by something or he doesn't like something so he just gives you the silent treatment....as punishment or whatever. I'm not sure I wanna live with that. I prefer open talk. But that's different for all shy guys of course!
Danika Exactly. The problem with ‘shy’ guys who give the silent treatment is they are likely covert narcissists. If he’s doing that to punish early on, what would 20+ years of marriage escalate to?
@@Catherine_Kate Nah in his case he's not a narcissist ( at least I hope so ). He admits mistakes and is loving. Good with his family, but socially awkward, was bullied a lot when he was younger. It was much worse when he gave me a few details than I thought. So he's withdrawn a lot. I washed his head though. He better not give me that treatment again. I might be gone. As much as I love him, I protect myself if a person becomes too toxic 😊
Thanks Brian! So tired of hearing that you're attracting bad guys because somehow you're damaged, you have low self-esteem or that something else must be wrong with you. Thank you so kindly for this. And the skit was quite funny
I totally agree with u on this one Geert ,indeed , narcissistics are those who show a lot of interest straight when they find their new prey , quick efforts from a man isnt necessary healthy ,
Wow I needed to hear that last reason about the bad boys being a challenge. I’ve never heard it put that way before but it makes perfect sense. Raised with a mom chasing after an alcoholic stepdad. The pieces are clicking together. Thanks so much for your videos. ❤
Yes, Brian. Do more scenarios like this, it would be great to see and hear "what's inside of his brain" when looking at one woman or so. Thank you, Brian.
Brian, I was approached by a very attractive man who attended an event I served at. He asked the duty ops person where to find me. I was at an adjoining location and he came in walked up to me and threw his fist up, for a fist bump and said " good job, we appreciate your excellent service". I was in shock that this beautiful man came looking for me. The fist bump made me laugh. The complement was NOT what I expected. The abruptness of it made me feel like someone was trying to set me up for a joke. Well the jokes on me alright. Turns out he just wanted quality service for the monthly recurring event. Lol.
In my experience I always went for the bad boy because deep down I was too scared to have a real relationship, due to a bad marriage. It reinforced my belief that men can’t be trusted and that they are all the same. I now know this isn’t the truth. I had healing and growing to do. Now I can appreciate the real men who know how to respect and treat a woman.
Life Traps and/or "schemas". I have a book on it, it's really intense stuff to look at and work through. Basically learned patterns from childhood, indeed. They repeat over and over and over, until ppl learn to unlearn these behaviors. It's really difficult stuff.
@@Whoeverwhateverwhenever Don't be too hard on yourself. No one is keeping track or time. We only know what we know at the time. I also didn't have certain realizations until my late 30's and 40's. I am still learning and nowhere near perfect (!!!) at 52. Give yourself a pat on the back for even being open and curious on this liife's journey. 🌸
I felt curious for your video, I wanted to comfirm it. You're so right. Bad men give a lot of adrenalin, when I understood that, I married with a good man, who every day is the same.
This is very spot-on. For a very long time I was often approached by guys when I was out and about and would keep wondering why there were never any decent, good guys amongst them. At some point it even started diminishing my self-esteem as I started wondering why I as an attractive young woman wasn't approached by a good guy every now and again. Until I eventually realized the guys who approached me were a very badly pre-selected pool of guys and that I had to be more pro-active with the type of guys I really wanted to meet. Thanks for sharing this!
I feel your pain as a fairly attractive young man, in a different way. I have to overdo a lot of things to make girls feel comfortable. Being too confident in my approaches makes shy good girls mistake me for a player.
I remember the dating pool being very judgmental and very cruel. If you are a bit overweight, like I was at times, guys can and will reject you based entirely off of that, and they are not nice or polite about that rejection. My son has made me aware that girls can be just as bad. Girls want boys who are at least 6 feet tall and will reject a guy based entirely off their height. And sometimes I think girls are even more cruel in their rejection. After that has happened to you a few times, you get a little gun shy. Just saying. Nobody likes rejection.
I love your videos but this one was the cherry on top! I laughed so hard at that sketch/"what he's thinking" bit. Wow. I'm dead from that internal soliloquy!
Here's my problem with this I always feel.if I approach a man I'll never know if he really likes me because I feel if I approach a man even if he doesn't like me he'll go for it because he'll assume I'm easy or desperate
Indecision or hesitation isn't always a bad thing. If he's a "nice guy", you could have just caught him at the wrong time. Bad guys will gravitate to that and suck that life out of you.
With all due respect, Brian is not suggesting you approach the man, but I believe all women know when a man is interested in them. In that moment you need to let your insecurities go and open the door for that nice guy. Don't wink. Just say "hi"and smile. That's all we need. If that doesn't keep him talking then he's got other things going on. He could be married, girlfriend, you really don't know, but he's just not ready. If I'm single and a lady I have my eye on speaks to me and smiles, then I'm about to lead the rest of the conversation. And, I will definitely tease you about how you were salivating over me when you first smiled at me and said hi. We will laugh about it a bunch of times.
I think your AWESOME Brian Nox. You have a great way of communicating with your viewers. The simple fact that you speak in a very calming, gentle, tone is comforting and reassuring. Makes it easier for me to process what you are teaching. So thank you once again 😊👍🏼.
Besides the fact that i think you have a very pleasant voice to listen to and great advice..i love that this video had even more of your humour in it..hahaha..nice job
yeeea. but of course there are "soft boy fuckboys" who don't approach you because they feel nervous or act as if they are shy because they think that shyness is an indicator of being sincere. but the minute you show them interest, they play games and take you for granted even if you don't show them an attitude that you're chasing them/being desperate. they like to manipulate. we don't want this kind of guy, ladies. it's good to be friendly and playful with the opposite sex, but we should not let our guard down easily, vet guys properly and not make excuses for soft boys once they mess up. because usually, girls make excuses for their inconsistencies and reason out that the soft boys are just shy or clueless about courting them/doing relationship stuff because soft boys are not like the "smooth and confident players". most of these guys are also love bombers once you start talking/dating them. they annoy me so much.
Awesome video! So accurate and my favorite video of yours actually. I like all of them but this one really pointed out very common truths that some women don’t like to hear. It’s important though. Thank you!
Brian, I have to say I started watching your videos a few years ago and I didn't particularly care for me but NOW - Idk if I've grown or you have or both lol -your videos really resonates with me now and I find you so sincere, compassionate and truly helpful. Thank you!
Thanks for this Brian- this was really helpful to me! Could you make a video at some point about how to make an effort from a woman's side? I think I have this problem because I can feel very insecure when I meet someone interesting or attractive so I tend to put up a wall and I guess that makes me unapproachable. Women also get told all the time how men are "the hunters" which makes women feel like they are prey and they just need to sit pretty and wait for some nice man to strike up a conversation. I really hate that idea! We forget that men are just human and also feel insecure :)
Even though stating these facts might be teasing to some women, its also really beneficial! So many articles lack to highlight the complete truth in regards to relationships which can cause so many conflicts! Its essential to see the truth of our actions rather than complaining every time why things are going wrong! Very pleased to watch this video. By the way, great imitation you did about how guys may think! Thank you very much Brian!!
You have helped me so much to understand my issues with dating. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. This video was very helpful. And I love your voice too. :)
THANK YOU so much for speaking about women who are attracted to the challenge men/"bad" guys instead of the normal guys because of the excitement of it. I have noticed this about myself and thought it was due to having greater masculine/feminine polarity with those "bad" guys. Now I see I want to increase my appreciation for men who aren't on again/off again. I wonder if there are videos about that... 🙂 Thanks again!
Thank you for all your great advice! Love your witty banter. 😍 and yes… as someone already noted your voice is very soothing lol that’s much appreciated as well. lol
Thank you from the core of my heart for making these videos.I believe that those videos will help a lot of women to find a right guy.I wish, I could find your videos before getting married. ❤️
There is someone i realy liked for along time i didnt think he liked me too but he surprised me one day and it scared me i got used to be without a man and now its too hard for me to let someone in to my life.
I think you’re right. I’ve been that woman who dated a player. It’s aweful, but I recognized it and got over it. I have a friend with a player now. I wish there was a gentle way of making her aware of it.
Wow..You leave me breathless.. Thank you for making this video, its all i need. I love your brain Sir.keep up the good works.. i hope to see you again..!God bless!
Briannnnn yasss so happy you’re posting again and to be here early! I love been binge watching all your videos and was like whennnns the next one! I’m writing this as the video is beginning I’ll listen now 👂🏼
WoW just listened this is so me! I really need to do this and not just reciprocate with the guys that have too much arrogance. Amazing content as always Brian so super helpful my fav coach on YT
Hi Brian, I admire your videos in the sense that you base your relationship education on psycological perspectives. In a previous video you mentiuoned that a woman should not let down her values just to please a man. I consider it very commendable
Brian you are a hoot! So funny 😂 This was informative but I really hoped you would do the same topic with regards to online dating. I think especially in this age of pandemic, online dating is the main way to meet guys and it would be good to know what is the best strategy. Great video though!
1991windsor sometimes it’s a dance between insecure attachment styles! Codependent attachment styles can often be the anxious attachment or fearful avoidant style... sometimes dismissive avoidant styles are narcissistic, sometimes not... but they are often drawn to each other and play out this push pull, crazy making realm 😬 If the attachment styles heal, they can have better relationships...but with my experience, most dismissive avoidants aren’t interested in self work as much. Then it becomes the Codependent trying to do everything...and doesn’t really provide the best setup for breaking that toxic pattern! I’m healing by putting energy/time into myself...that I wasted for so long on other relationships.
@@ereniasantiago8912 have you ever been in a relationship with a narcissist? I don't wish that on my worst enemy the effects that it leaves on someone.
@@1991windsor I Apologize to you I know well the awful things these guys do but I was just telling that unfortunately their challenging behaviour is what make people fall for them, we as human beings tend not to be attract to the easy. Yes, I have experienced relationships with Narcissists but I survived like everybody can do because the power is within us. I didn't mean to hurt anyone, sorry if I did it.
I think what you said was true. I wasn’t looking for a normal man. But after much therapy I realized it was a pattern of behavior I learned growing up. Conflict was always around so picking my ex husband made sense. But the rollercoaster of emotions he put me through with a career and two kids was more than I could take. So I agree on your opinion on women picking bad guys. And now I pretty much date a bunch of guys, all different, trying to find the one perfect for me. Thera quantity not quality. Im not giving up on finding someone with integrity
Thank you Brian so much for putting in such a way I’ve never heard before. I am one of those women addicted to adrenaline...thinking it’s love when it’s not. For me the challenge now is to be open to those nice quiet not so confident guys or quietly confident guys and having the courage to let them know I am interested in starting a conversation. Excellent video thank you 😊 🙏
So deep. Actually made me angry that this stuff isn’t taught in school. It seems to me to be some of the most vital information to start out with in life. Thank you so much 👍🏾
Omg, this really speaks that out of me, I tend to fall for challenging guys, maybe I just need that adrenaline rush afterall, it’s not love I finally realized! So thankful I found Brian’s video! What he said has a very detail breakdown on scenarios which really helps me to portray what’s happening with my relationship! Brian, I hope you can come out with more videos on all these coaching, love every bit of your advices!
