@@Elodie_N_INTJ_Analyzes off course!! But I guess it will be so many numbers and he’s kinda picky (you know INFJ, High Standard 😉) & busy…so he doesn’t have enough time to choose which numbers he’s gonna call 😆😂😁 n maybe that’s why he won’t ask irl💁🏻♀️
An experienced introvert NEVER just stands there talking to nobody. That is a surefire pity-magnet, guaranteed to attract mother-hen-type extroverts with a compulsive need to compel everybody into cookie-cutter, lockstep hilarity. The clever introvert keeps moving, always looking like he's on the way from one sparkling conversation to another. It's the party equivalent of looking busy at work, walking seriously down the hall with a sheaf of papers and a frown: "Sorry, can't stop. I'm on a mission...." Oh yes, extroverts have their way of "working the room." The introvert's dirty little secret is: he does, too.
Indeed, superficially you might find it difficult to distinguish the extroverts and introverts from each other, as they both flit around the room like social butterflies. It takes closer observation to note which ones are gladhanding and chatting up everybody they can and which ones aren't stopping to talk to anybody at all.
I think that advice works best for you guy introverts. Chances are good that if you’re a woman your movements are being tracked. Lol. The best I can do is to not make eye contact with anyone and hover around the snacks or alcohol, sometimes talking to the bartender because someone paid them to stand there and pretend I’m interesting so they’re trapped, and forced to be superficially kind about it.
Been that extrovert. This is real. Solution: find another super introvert ."Sally meet Paula. Paula REALLY likes knitting too! Isn't that fascinating? AND she likes art history. You guys have so much in common. Excuse me I need to go grab a drink. Tickle in my throat." as you fade away into the crowd. Watch from afar to make sure your introverts are actually talking and not watching you. Bam. Win win.
@@Neo-Tokyo_ Not all the time... I've been in a situation where it got so awkward after the polite nice-to-meet-you, that I just wanted to leave, but I ju couldn't because I didn't want to hurt her feelings by making it feel as though she's not good enough to hang out with 😩 Trust me, nothing pleasant about this
No, better off with two extroverts. You can go from one to the other, and both will introduce you to other people you might otherwise not talk to. I don't mean to sound condescending, but I find the introverts in my life only need a little hand holding in the beginning, before they find a way to meaningfully engage in something interesting to them.
I only go to social gatherings because of my ESTP husband... and the food. Plus, he always says "we can leave whenever you want" and I kinda believe him everytime 😭 even when I know we'll spend hours there and I won't feel free to leave because I don't want to spoil his fun... LOL. But, to be fair with him, If I tell him I wanna leave, we leave, it's just that when I see him happy, I just can't. -INFP.
I am an ENFP and my response, almost always, is ok. Oh, you need to go run boring errands? Ok. I am not actively doing something else, so might as well go with the flow. I wouldn't tone down the flirting though... You wanna come, keep pace.
Intj here. A friend that im not quite close to invited me to his party with other people who i rarely talk to. I invited my infp and enfp friend to go with me, but enfp couldnt go. So on that day of the party, infp and i got ready to go. As we passed by his house, we saw that the party is outside (we were hoping the party was inside cause we wanted AC), so we left somewhere and decided to come back until the sun goes down. Hours later, we never bothered to go to the party cause we both dont know the people very well and we just simply didnt feel like going 😆
My life became SO MUCH BETTER when I stopped pushing myself to be "normal" and stopped going to parties or gatherings with unknown people. My life with social anxiety AND introversion is a lot better now!
@@nomadicgamer9466 Me too!! Now people say I'm too isolated, but I rather have only 2 friends that I see once a month and a few close family members, than really ever meeting people I don't know. I have a lot of other mental illness too, so I cannot relate at all to "normal" people. I have my little bubble of people where I'm happy. It doesn't drain me and is WORTH putting my limited energy on it. I got NOTHING out of parties or meeting unknown people, so I don't do that any more. So freeing to listen to yourself and not what society tells you!
Legend says, the school made it mandatory. Now that is something I would hate to actually happen in the real world. Oh wait, that's exactly what they did!
@@VinnesRC School: You know what? Now it's mandatory. Yup! Mandatory for having fun at karaoke night. You don't come, and you're suspended, SO DEAL WITH IT!
Always: Try to confirm beforehand whether the house you're going to has entertainment for introverts (videogames that are not FIFA, books/magazines, pets, etc.) or is introvert-friendly (I know the places where I can go and take over a desk to draw or something and no one will bother me). You can also opt to drown your nerves with finger foods; there has to be some, otherwise it's not a good party at all.
That is so me, but I would never stop my friend from talking to the girl. I would pretend to be fine, while slowly dying inside. And then, wishing I had the courage to talk to someone, I would take a stroll outside for "fresh air" hoping someone else would magically decide to do the same thing and take a walk with me. But they wouldn't because they would be busy talking to people. So I would just go home and determine to never go to a party again. But, honestly . . . this has never happened to me. I'm totally making it up.
This is why I actually prefer more old fashioned dinner parties or events in cultures where there is an expectation that the host/person who invites has duties. In that context it’s on the host to host a successful party and that includes knowing everyone who was invited at least enough to introduce people to each other so that they’d have a good conversation, recognising the awkwardness of intruding into the space of someone you have not been introduced to. It’s not the guest’s fault if they don’t have a good time, and people who are good at hosting become known as that. It’s a legit skill set. It’s also normal in this context, if you are invited and you bring someone else, to first introduce them to the host, and then the host would briefly learn something about them and decide where in the party to match them into, otherwise you as the person who brought them in the first place should take them around.
Is that not how contemporary American parties are supposed to work? At least, that’s how I would host one. I thought that was just basic social etiquette
I used to know someone who was absolutely wonderful at this! He would host parties for Japanese visitors to mingle with canadian locals, and would match you with people, do introductions, and start the conversation off for you. He was so good at it, and it helped IMMENSELY!
Hands down my worst nightmare is walking into a party by myself and seeing no one I know. It's pretty much a "fight-or-flight" moment and "flight" usually wins.
I'm imagining how 'fight' would work in that situation, perhaps if approached when really not expecting it and with no escape route at all it would be an attempt to karate-chop the air molecules coming out of their mouth in an attempt to not hear their small talk :)
Feels so good that I get to watch these awkward introvert sketches. One place where I don't have to explain why my behavior is different, thank you Frank James
@@kupa121 Nah, he's an extravert/ambivert. Or at least more extraverted then the guy ; i think de mixed them up because the guy speaks his mind (and also being toxic :/)
Im the person that jumps on a task, usually one that requires a lot of work and running around so i can just stay busy. It keeps the chitchat down to the essentials like: "whens the food done?"
Frank you totally get me😂😂.......it's exactly how i feel in such situations and usually that friend wants to talk to other people and you just feel like you could literally glue yourself to them, not to feel left out
There are two types of introverts: Introvert type 1 - Not very interested in other people in general. Dislikes small talk and generally only wants to talk about interesting or deep things, especially things they are personally interested in. Introvert type 2 - Low social confidence. Might be interested in other people, but they are to nervous to interact with them. This type often becomes an extrovert once they get enough experience in social interaction. It's possible and actually common to be both at the same time, though. Essentially, an extrovert is someone who is interested in other people and is confident enough to actively seek out interactions.
My extroverted friend: walks up to a group of girls* Me: standing on the side lines, but yet decides to join* He: "Dude, why did you go with me? I could have handled that on my own." Me: "Wtf"
"Handled that," what, the orgy that is happening only in his imagination? One on one, I could understand wanting a private conversation, but when there is a group of girls? Idk, it sounds like a c*ckblock to me.
@@rachelk4805 well, he’s ENFP, so he’s doing particularly well in those situations. But don't take it all too seriously. He's not toxic, as you might think.
@@rachelk4805 Those "private conversations" are super annoying 🙄 I never really get engaged in those myself, and I generally get quite irritated when I see others being busy with such conversations, lol 😓🤔
As an introvert, I actually regret not attending many events or hanging out much in my teen years. I just made assumptions and focused too much on my work so I wouldn't get in trouble, I was too comfortable doing my own thing, or I felt discouraged because of my parents' beliefs and lack of freedom. Please do yourself a favor and try experimenting with your inner extrovert. You may not like every event, but you may find something very special. And save every contact you enjoyed talking to so you can cultivate friendships online.
Introvert: why are you friends with other people?! Now you’re spending time with them and not me! Friend: come with me so you’re also gonna be friends with them and we’re gonna spend time all together Introvert: No way!
Their all off in the midst of talking to their other friends. I'm not gonna hop in during their convo. The one or two people to the side might be there just eating or drinking not really thinking about chatting.
I went to a social gathering a few months ago. The memories still haunt me. Not that anything went wrong - I was absolutely normal….the memories still haunt me.
As an extrovert, that's so accurate. I have this introvert friend and she is glued to me like I'm a lifebelt and she's about to drown. We don't have anything to say but I can't leave or include someone else in the conversation haha
As an INTJ....this feels awkwardly true. Even when there are people I know at some party, they always go off to other groups or their group is already busy doing something, so I'm pretty much just left alone. The entire thing consists of me standing around at the food area grabbing random snacks, and just sitting there.
Video Request: ''Worst or opposite types having an argument'' or ''Hardest combination of types to communicate with each other''. Or something along these lines.
Me, an ENFP, at a party with my introvert friend: I’m going over there to talk to people. And maybe I’m going to drag you with me, and maybe I’ll duck out of the conversation when you’re not looking, and we’ll probably duck out of the party randomly and go have ice cream somewhere quiet.
@@EnabiSeira 😆 thank you for saying so. I figure it’s good to get out of our comfort zones, but not for too long. Most of my closest people are introverts, so I’m good to go out with. I like to sneak off and be done after awhile, but I’m fun too.
@@meltingpointcreations1457 yes, it is good from time to time to get out of our comfort zones, especially with a trusting hand as yours that know when to call the day. I have an ENFP friend that makes taxing experiences even enjoyable, followed by a calm and restorative moment
I don’t mind though if the ones that I usually talk to goes to another person, of course I’ll be sitting on a couch, or eating snacks in the corner, or playing games on my phone, or pretend to sleep (on the couch), or reading some books from the shelves, or maybe just leave, what the hell🤷🏼
I went to 2 parties in my whole life , ( I didn't want to go but i had to ) because my mother wanted me to go no matter what, and that is so accurate + I go hide anywhere for extra energy and a comfortable introverted dream life 👁👄👁👌🏻 it's been a year since I stepped a foot out of my house I'm happy like this soooo....yeah
As an introvert, when you'll decide to go out for something vital you'll have a hard time acting normal, so i recommend practicing going outside a bit to improve your social skills, so when there's an emergency you know how to act/behave. And at this point, this isn't "introvertion", it's social anxiety. Please, get some help.
@@-randomuser-4897 I'm actually sure i don't have social anxiety, I stay home because I actually hate going out so much ,it's so boring and noisy, and I don't have to go out since my family do the shopping and everything ( it's mostly because of covid and I love it 👁👄👁)I'm happy at home, but thanks anyway
Careful. It's easy for being a homebody to turn into an inability to go out. A preference is fine, just go grab a coffee or something once in a blue moon -- or even a solo walk. Also I pulled something similar during the first few months of covid (a nightmare for me actually. I'm an introvert, but not to quite that degree) and wound up with a significant vitamin D deficiency. I was shocked.
Frank, I look forward to seeing you and hearing you everyday. You make me feel normal. If you haven’t already done this, you might consider acting as an introvert at his/her high school reunion. I never went to any of mine and you know why.
I feel the same way. I just subscribed abt a week ago. That would be great to do a reunion. I want him to do an introvert working from home if he haven't already
And when that lone friend actually starts having good time with others..you start feeling betrayed 👽 But only untill he/she returns back to you.and you start to feel you owe him/her a lot.😬
Step 1: Find your introvert a friend. If you are the typical extravert, you will likely know at least a few other people at the party. Find your introvert another introvert and establish a connection between them ("wow, you both play Hollow Knight, you two have so much in common!"). Step 2: Free yourself from the introvert. Now that your introvert has another introvert to talk to, they won't need to lean on you quite as much. You can now safely and smoothly attempt to extricate yourself from the situation. This may take more than 1 attempt, and if it doesn't work, try to bring up another possible connection between your introvert and the one you found. Step 3: Enjoy the party. You have now safely detached your introvert and can interact with other people 1 on 1. Float around, but be sure to check on your introvert once in a while to ensure they are doing well.
One time, I attended a Christmas party from my mom's job and noticed that some of the introverts would hang out in the patio. I found two more people with whom I've had energizing conversations.
You described the party experience so well. Unfortunately as an introvert, I got backstabbed by my only extrovert friend that I had and I learned to be more reliable on myself but I also got morr closed in myself
Visiting a friend in Amsterdam, he took me to an afternoon baby shower (or something along those lines) so he could chat with a couple for a short time before we headed somewhere else. I don't speak a word of Dutch - hardly anyone else at the gathering spoke a word of English, other than "Hello!" Nothing like being an international introvert ;-)
INTJ ● probably defying some stereotypes, but I like to throw a bunch of people together (who don't know each other) and *watch them interact* :D anyone?
Intp, and yes I want to too, in the same of Science!! 👆🏼👆🏼 It would be even more interesting to see how the 16 personalities behave. Who will gang up? Who will adopt whom?!!
Ha! I thought the title was "when an introvert only knows one person." Only knowing one person at a party implies that I know other people in general. Although my bar for knowing a person is quite high. Frankly I would have never even gone to the party thats just way too awkward and I would have been bored out of my mind. And I would NEVER, EVER go to a party with an extrovert (I have learned my lesson). If i want to go out I will just go to a quiet restaurant or a nice hotel bar by myself (yes by myself and i'm fine with that).
Me too. I also misread the title- thinking it was "when an an introvert only knows one person" ( I assumed the rest said they were making a party for 1) wouldn't go to a party even if I know 5 people. Hehe
I can sooo relate. If I'm at a party where I know multiple people, I'd feel more comfortable. But if I'm at a party where I know only 1 person, I'd cling to that person the whole night, or not go to the party at all.
I'm weak in the knees after this one. Yikes. So much stuff is buried in some of us that wants to come out at social events. This vid brings it all out.
The only thing worse is a “party” full of us introverts. Yes, it happens. Think of theater people and stand up comics. (Most performers are introverts.)
When I had church or school parties to attend, I stood around in miserable silence most of the time. I felt I shouldn't have been there but I had to attend.
I had this situation happen at church not long ago and started playing on my phone, then some super extroverted guy comes over and says really loudly "why are you never talking to anybody" yeh that makes me feel less insecure ,thanks buddy haha.
I had a friend who's an introvert pretending to be an extrovert. One day after talking to plenty of people at a camp, she turned, breathed, and droped her shoulders. My mom said, "I see you." "What?" "I see you." My friend further explained that she had to look happy so no one thought there was something wrong with her. "Who told you that?" Mom asked with genuine concern? My friend said nothing. Funny. Years ago, her sister said she was quiet or sad before she was prayed over at our church (I'm not a believer btw.) Conclusion: Church is not for introverts.
Many times I've skipped out on a social event or appeared and left soon. Sometimes I do go sit with the person who's sitting by themselves - unless they seem annoyed about that. But -- there is one thing that will get me talking, and that is if I hear or see people talking about something I'm really interested in. I'll go up to strangers and talk to them if I see them doing something that I think is really interesting. Like they're discussing a new affordable table saw, or how they secure their network, or about animals or whatever I can't resist.
And this is WHYY I LOVE THE KITCHEN!! Haha, if there are snacks or dishes being prepared I will bee-line my way there to help out. I can ease into small pleasant chitchat with those I’m working with or providing food to. But I don’t even have to make eye contact, I can be busy and jump away at any moment if need be, and hey it’s nice to help out.
If I'm in this scenario, as soon as Brian decides to walk away, I would vanish from the party altogether. Head home to read books and watch movies solo.
No, I think the ideal behavior, is since you KNOW what he's up to, he will consider he's left you in the lurch, and therefore won't be more than 5-10 minutes smoozing with the girl, and then get right back to you. I think most guys in that situation, would just spend maybe 3-5 minutes with you, tell you they're going to the restroom, just to give him a cover to leave you the rest of the night.
Yeah I wouldn’t even put myself in that situation unless I had a true friend come with me ! I get very anxious 😥 in any new situation. I’m better to have a party at my place then i won’t be putting myself in such a vulnerable position as I get to chose who I invite and they can possibly bring a friend along .
I like to throw a soltice party twice a year, cook a bunch of food, then sit next to the bonfire my husband built with some tea & watch everyone else interact. Social interaction for me is usually passing the bowl or talking too much about my hair when someone makes a comment about how long &/or thick it is.
I went to a party w a guy I just met (party at his house), he kinda was too busy for me being the host and there was only ONE other person there I knew, (at least thought I knew), my date pawned me off on her and she pulled him aside to let him know we didn’t know each other. It was probably one of the most embarrassing moments ever! We DID know each other in fact for years running around the same circles. I guess I wasn’t cool enough. Haha
@@ikindoflikemangoes4951 nah, I wish it were something like that. She lied. Even though we hung out many times at the same house everyone in our circle crashed at, she and I only spoke a handful of times. One of which she spoke at length about an experience she had, that she said, she never told anyone before. The thought crossed my mind to throw that in her face, but, decided she wasn’t worth it. Door-slam.
If I go to a party, it’s usually a family event and nobody is surprised if I disappear soon. If it’s at a friend’s house, I never know what to do with myself, even if I know everyone. So I find their dog or cat and make friends with them until someone starts talking to me. It’s so awkward sometimes.
At all day family events I always find an opportunity to go get a gatorade or a coffee or something -- usually buddied up with my Dad because we are so similar.
