When Does A Black Man Decide To Get Married? | Ask A Black Man | MadameNoire 

I wish I could find a cool group of friends to chop it up with like this.

I liked when the guy in the white shirt and the tie talked about the positives of being with one person and sharing his life with one person...I wish someone would tell men that more women doesn't mean more love...most people are not going to love you...you will be Lucky to find one woman that Truly loves you!

Definitely can tell the emotionally maturity in the room. Good perspectives - and very good analogies. Good job!

Best group by far. They expressed their opinions in a very mature manner.

All men aren't built the same, I refuse to have society dictate for me when to get married or do anything else for that matter. We're all individuals and should chose to get married when we feel the time is right, not in accordance to any ones expectations.

The statement the brother made about taken responsibility. That is what leading a household is....and I totally feel like some woman are too independent(for varies reason, prior men have made them a promise and broken it) But when you get that right man and he leads your family it is an amazing thing. It's downright magical.

i love the way he defined the difference between a boyfriend & a husband. Taking responsibility for the good & the bad of your marriage. we all know that a successful marriage takes both people to put in equal work; however, there is a reason god made adam first. by myself I am an independent black woman but I tell my husband all the time the that i am his co-pilot as long as he is willing to truly take on the responsibility of being the pilot. thats natural for any good woman to do. thats how a marriage survives.

I was married for 26 years until my wife died recently. The guy in the white shirt has the best perspective. News flash to the gent talking about 2nd marriages is incorrect. 2nd marriages have 63% divorce rate. Besides we no longer live in a marriage culture. We are currently in a hookup culture. Marriage is give and take in many aspects. Most black couples today that get married will be divorcing in about 12 years. Social Media has changed the landscape forever. Many people today don't have the maturity for a long term marriage. They will just be playing house and once you add children to the mix it changes the dynamics of the marriage. For many couples children are the beginning of the end.

Definitely need more men like the guy in white shirt/black tie 😍

To answer the posted question: Are women too independent today? Yes, they are. Why? Because in a lot of cases they have to be. Who will take care of your needs, if no one else does? If there is no husband/partner holding down the household, what is a woman supposed to do to fend for herself? She must be independent to survive. Men may feel some kinda way about this, but what can they do to change the scene so that the woman is more dependent on them?

There weren't as many divorces back then because women felt like they had to stay in bad marriages. Women aren't putting up with as much as they did back then because we are more educated now. More options and we aren't conditioned to be so submissive.

This was actually a group of very intelligent, mature men. 👏🏾

I like this episode. young educated MATURE men being able to articulate and have a good discussion and opinions. Other episodes have boys talking about nonsense.

This was the best episode by far. Great group of mature, honest and intelligent brothas.

I love the head and the heart analogy. One person has to do the driving but that doesn't mean he decides where you are going or how to get there.

My biggest issue with finding a life-long partner is finding a man that is truly after God's heart. A man that is truly allowing his life to be guided by God's will for him. Just a man that has a real, genuine relationship with Christ. To me that is #1. If you do not have that or a true desire for that, then you are not for me. This is the one thing I can't compromise on. I have to be equally yolked spiritually.

Thanks for caring enough to share your hearts. There are still beautiful independent (non-emasculating) black women out there that still imbody those traditional values that have sustained our cultural for generations. Don't give up. I salute you all!! Good job gentlemen!

A man's FIRST responsibility to woman is to PROVIDE and PROTECT!

I appreciate your intelligence. Wow. More people need to watch. These are our black men. Thanks

Not marriage minded. That's an accurate way to put things. I think most women, no matter their culture and race are brought up through their parents or general society thinking they'll be a wife. Not saying that's true but that's what it seems. At least in comparison to men, but from what I've seen doesn't seem like a lot of young guys are ready for a commitment like marriage. I won't lie at all and say that I am. I like the way the man with the light dreads phrased a relationship should have a heart and a mind. The mind will know where you're going and the heart will have the ideas for the mind to plan on. Nobody's perfect. I definitely am not. I just want somebody willing to help us both figure it out together. I really hope that I get a good man.

Marriage ain't that hard. I'm married shit is not hard at all I work, I cook, I clean. My husband does his part pays bills, cooks sometimes, fixes things, takes out the trash and gets the yard together. Single motherhood is hard. We do not argue either we are both cool and chill ass people. Marry someone cool and relaxed someone that doesn't like to argue. No we do not smoke weed either..lol

i loved this, no one was bashing just honest dialogue. keep up the great work

As a white woman married to a Latin man for a lot of years, marriage has its up and downs. BUT: marriage is team work. Praise eachother, say Thank you and sorry when needed. When one falls, pick up your husband/wife. Don't put kids in the middle of negatively. Romance/flirting/humor is definitively important.💙

The brotha with the locks is beautiful.

Love this show. It shows how versatile our black men are.

Loved this episode. A lot of great insight and wisdom

He's absolutely right we are not producing the same people

That was really good I'm about to binge watch these

First of all this was an exceptional show to watch I really admire the way they prove their points on certain topics that women discuss among themselves vs asking a man. They're actually allowing women to see things from their perspective. As a married woman I can agree with some points they suggested and some were disagreeable. However the overall discussion was quite informative. I hope a lot of women actually take the time out to watch this.

BY FAR the absolute BEST group of this series...part of me wishes that they would have been the panel for all the discussions but I guess it was better to see a variety of personalities and opinions

Nice Kings! Great conversation. Relationships are indeed a technology. Well versed. Thank you for the honest candid perspectives. May all of you and your families be blessed.

This was my favorite episode! love it

I'm most in sync with Mike Allen. I feel for a marriage to be "successful" there are so many variables that come into play. The objective is to be willing to adapt to change as it occurs.

I am thankful for your guys time and valuable points.

Yes kings! This was a wonderful dialogue and I can't wait for this to be the norm.

Firstly, I know one of the men on this panel and this dialogue between men is a necessary one. I think that their honesty regarding their individual expectations prior to their marriages, inadequate preparation(possibly a lack of premarital counseling and deep dialogue), the issues they encountered during the marriage and the reasons that contributed to the divorce will help a lot of men Thank you so much for posting this

This is my favorite episode by far. A lot of sound minded guys that were not afraid to be honest and open about their answers.

Good and different answers at the same time ! thanks madame noire

Mike Allen, appreciate what you were saying about being marriage minded. Great podcast, fellas. Thanks MadameNoire

This was awesome! I thoroughly enjoyed this. Why aren't black men showcased in this light more often?! This deserves more views. If they were fighting it would have way more.

GREAT discussion, gentlemen 👏👏👏

I love this honest and true form, these gentleman discussing real life great job 👏 💖

Great discussion. Quite positive and very honest. I think it's hard to say when anyone is "ready" to marry because our society doesn't place a lot of value on true, healthy marriages. I think people marry when they are done playing the field and that's just real talk.

Wow! Amazing conversation between grown and mature beautiful black men. ❤️❤️❤️

@MikeAllen, articulate, focused, driven... so excited that great guys exist!

Great radio analogy!

Excited to see these smart and insightful men!

The head and the heart I like that

I know this video is old but this topic is NEVER old, bruhman in the white shirt is definately speaking knowledge and wisdom. I ❤ his contribution to the conversation

love it. no egos just intelligeant fair answers . applause ! these men r awsome.

The guys were spot on! Excellent discussion!

Good one and very sincere!

Very good video they brought ups some good points.

Nice!!! Well articulated! 👌

Salaam, it's good to see different Brothas perspective on this topic.. ~Unity

I am around different cultures and all of them are so grounded with balanced lives in marriages. And it's just so sad to see the black man so confused about it. We are a cursed group of people. 😭

The guuy with the dreads is ABOUT that car analogy. lol! Love it, though.

Good to see a group of younger guys giving pretty mature advice on marriage and family matters. I liked what the one guys said about if you have an issue with a woman doing something better than you, you aren't ready for marriage, you haven't fully matured. That was good. The same is true for us as ladies, you have to learn to take a back seat if you're not good at something. It truly is compromise, and for me, letting the Lord Jesus LEAD you and your husband. Without Him at the helm, in my opinion, it's destined to have problems. ~Jesus is Lord - get to know Him as Savior (if you don't)~

I absolutely love hearing Black men share their life experiences. For so long they've been silenced or they felt silenced. This is a breath of fresh air and no clap back is necessary.....more of this please! This is mental health counseling for Black men and the epitome of true brotherhood. Black men being authentic, vulnerable and honest.. Keep it coming! TV show or and series on Aspire tv or and tv one needed!

I've always wanted to get married. Ever since I could remember but I've changed so much just in the past 3 years. I'm not as selfish as I was and still am learning! I'm glad I didn't go along with anything not prepared because I can't imagine jumping into marriage with a selfish mind. Avoiding talking to my guy because I'm upset instead of thinking of a way to tell him how I feel. I can imagine I could've done that. I probably would've done a lot of other destructive things!

Kudos MadameNoire!!! Finally, an useful and realistic dialogue with a true diverse group of men (finally discussions that include happily married men). Every married man on this panel hit the nail on the head (on each topic). Not at all saying that the singles didn’t contribute, because they did. I feel the married men are experiencing the real world of marriage (the commitment to do the work and the assuming of responsibility). Marriage is going to be WORK regardless of someone checking things off your list or not. For instance, the dude stating… “you don’t know how to cook outside of using pork, there’s a problem.” It’s not really a problem. You just didn’t discuss a solution. I mean, one can change their eating lifestyle after that marriage. It’s not means for divorce. It’s just the rule of evolving individuals. You find solutions. In the end, it’s not about lists, but about each person wanting to and willing to (even if you don’t want to or feel like it at the time) meet the needs of the other. Single ladies, I’d stop watching all those other videos and pay attention to this one. This is coming from a married woman whose husband share very similar views, if not the same and more, of those men on the panel that’s happily married.

Excellent video!!! 👈🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾🙌🏾

Head and heart comment was on point! That's wisdom

enjoyed the conversation. Is there an extended version?

Great video. Fyi, there are many great women who also desire marriage, especially GOD'S way. Ephesians 5 - GODLY principles for marriage.

Black men are complex beings, healing is necessary kings. Make sure that you are not wasting people’s time. Break curses before taking somebody’s daughter. Ps. Those men are mature

I like how he said "... Getting into the marriage not knowing what its for" .. Whats the vision should definitely be understood before marriage and a continuous conversation there after.. the 8:07 mark I was digging wit that brother had to say. I totally agree.. These brothers made me proud and gave me hope. There are sensible black men left in the world

I love the steering wheel analogy, and the man who said women are doing lots of wonderful things out there, and the one who said that he personally just loves to have one woman to share his stuff and time with. 😍

This is really good! I love to hear a man's perspective #Powerful

Do they have a podcast? I’ll love to listen to stuff like this on the go.

Part 2 please!!!!!

Myself and women around me do cook, clean, take care of home, children, self, work, honest, respectful, thoughtful, loving, fun, ambitious, Spiritual, conscious, highly educated, make money, open minded, beautiful inside and out and have given the best to our husbands, and he sabotaged and dishonored us bc he could not step and accept it. Broken leads to broken if you won’t step up. So we do exist brothas

I agree with the head & heart statement...very well said

Beautiful talk!!!!!

Love this panel of men 😍😍😍

Not all of them are ready for marriage. Being the head of the home isn't about power and dominance. It's being ready to defend and protect your home. It's not about thumping your chest and making people feeling your power.

I love his example of driving during a trip with delegating roles in a relationship 👏🏾

Loved their conversation! And the Ethiopian (white shirt) is cute

This was a very intelligent dialogue between mature black men, salute!

Excellent where can I get more of these guys

The brother with the beard was on point as well!!!

Radio analogy great ass point!

I love how he desribed the head and hte heart.. perfect one figures out what to do and the other figures out how to make it happen. I have always felt that way. Men are BUILT to make it happen. Awwee

***** Great Job! I love what you guys are doing from week to week with Ask A Black Man! I wish the discussions were a bit longer but I understand if these brothers have to get back to work lol. Btw, enjoyed the perspective of brother Jashua Sa-Ra on what "head of household' means and how he tied in the difference between but the equality of head and heart. Replacing the antiquated notion of female subservience to male "authority" with a deeper understanding of male and female energies and how to best channel and use those energies is much needed. Enjoyed Mike Allen's take on responsibility as well. I think the far-reaching effects of slavery and oppression are seriously underrated in examining the dynamic between Black American women and men and I would love to see that topic integrated into future conversations. Love and Freedom!

This is so attractive. Beyond words...

Not all women are like this. I am 43 years old who has love for my Higher Power, with a 15 year old daughter, great home, great profession, and a love my family. As far as the brothas on the panel, I agree with them, but I myself was taught by my mother to cook and to clean and to hold down the household just as she did and my father was the head of the household when I little and for that I respect him and any other Black man who is down for that. These brothas are beautiful.

Wow, that is scary, in an eye-opening way, what he said about second marriages.

It's refreshing and enlightening to hear a man's point of view.

True its a big step marriage. And a lot of men are scared of the commitment.

I def agree with the analogy about the car and one is the driver; the other is the navigator

Yasss!! I like this!

The dude who said marriage is not a destination, but the beginning of a destination is cute.

I'm very impressed with the man named Michael. I thought he was well spoken and engaging. Very interesting to hear his perspectives on marriage. He's very good looking too! Lol

I loved that show! You are so sweet ,nice ,intelligent ! Adriana from Brasil .

great discussion! and to the one on the end in the white shirt *call me lol! anyhoo, i would love to see a discussion with black men and women together in addition to these type of sessions. its always nice to get a black man's perspective bc i am a black woman and already know my perspective...

*"The game changer in life is as soon as you care more for someone other than yourself."* 💖

I love this discussion

I like this group they know what they are talking about i agree with them 100 Real talk

Loved it! Loved the definition of a husband, loved the driving the car analogy. Just because you lead doesn't mean that you don't delegate according to strength. That doesn't take you out of the driver's seat. I wish you guys would do a world tour. Every time I try to tell men to stop blaming "Eve" you have to take the responsibility its a foreign concept. Thanks for giving some sound advice here.

the guy who said that women can lead the household too gets 👏🏾👏🏾 from me