Ow wow. You actually mentioned my type at some point. I have Asperger's and the world of dating has been kind of hell for me. I am 33 years old now and never managed to get a girlfriend yet but I would rather stay alone for the rest of my life than try again and be wrong about it. It's really frustrating because I don't want to hurt anyone and yet I did whether I wanted it or not and the only solution I found working at least for now is being alone. You can't hurt anyone if the only one in the arena is yourself.
... but if you live your life and perhaps do a bit of volunteer work in a field you love like animal shelters or reiki or whatever,,, tutoring, giving back... you may run in to another aspergers. it happens. then you will be understood. could be a friendship, maybe even more than that. they don't really have to be like you but only 'different' in neurotype, so that they can grasp that humans are widely different and thus accept your wholeness. (neurotypical types have trouble with that one, not anyone's fault, just wiring.) peace to you and blessings.
@@CarolBlaneyPhD reiki? i don´t think that would be for him/her. i´ve known quite a few aspies and they can be almost too honest often to their own detriment. so i doubt aspies would be good charlatans and professional deceivers.
No state, including Washington, requires a medical license (or indeed any medical training whatsoever) to perform a circumcision. No federal or state law requires the use of anesthesia or analgesia when performing a circumcision, regardless of the child’s age. Meanwhile, federal law 7 USC 54 Sec. 2131 requires anesthesia for painful procedures to veterinary or lab animals. It is a felony to withhold it. There are no proven, recommended, or mandatory surgical protocols for circumcision at the federal or state levels. What passes for protocol is casual, informal folklore.
@@MsDrSantana I have the evidence of religious influence in medical policy on my RU-vid channel. Dr Andrew Freeman was on the American Academy of Pediatrics circumcision advisory policy board. He circumcised his son on the kitchen tribal because he felt three thousand years of history on his shoulder . Meanwhile tens of thousands of healthy baby boys are subjected to brutal torture right after birth because of his lack of ethical standards to recuse himself from being involved.
I am really worried about that. I think we are way too callous with our men. Is it necessary? Is there a benefit at all? I have brought this up when each of my sons were done. In both cases, the doctor overruled my objections. With my first son, I was told that there were cancers and diseases he would get if we didn't do it. With my second son, I was told that the primary concern is aids. That having it done would help to protect against aids. There should be anesthesia. If injected anesthesia is too dangerous (that is what the doctor said) then they should at the least use a topical anesthesia. We are all up in arms about similar procedures performed on girls, but circumcision on boys has got to be horrifically painful. How can we, in good conscience, condone this practice? How can we base our medical and legal practice on any religious text?
WE NEED DAVID BUSS PHD TO DO A BOOK ON 'the effect of painful circumcision trauma on male adult mental health including CPTSD and depression. " I think this research result would help each set of parents make the most informed decision.
@@CarolBlaneyPhD Do you really think it’s more traumatic for a newborn to experience physical pain that they most likely won’t remember, than not being subjected to the procedure, and avoiding it but as a result have a high probability of being subjected to the emotional pain and psychological trauma that will likely result the moment the child is naked in the presence of other boys and old enough to both remember and the wherewithal to comprehend the realization that he is “different,” (which is very undesirable in that stage of life.)? Moreover, the decision to circumcise a newborn is necessarily taken on another’s behalf and leads to the possibility that he may not have chosen that for himself, if he had the choice - which in itself could cause psychological turmoil and resentment. That’s all to say how problematic this issue is on a number of levels and it goes either way you look at it. So for a parent to opt out because it’s painful and may cause trauma to a newborn, even though we have no way of knowing that, may provide the parent comfort in having the power to protect their child from physical pain and possibly the sense of ethical superiority over others, but in fact, is in reality just pain deferment to the detriment of the child based on a decision that might have been taken for reasons having more to do with the parent’s emotional or psychological comfort without realizing it, rather than for balanced reasons strictly pertaining to the child. The only solution I can think of really is for society to collectively decide to postpone male circumcision to adolescence as is practiced in some cultures, or to collectively cease this practice all together, all at once, say through legislation that bans it, with exceptions for religious beliefs.
Michael brought up the idea that you could prevent a man from getting a gun during a dispute, but forgot to mention that the real issue is waiting periods that prevent the woman from getting a gun quickly. A man can typically kill a woman with his hands, so quick access to a gun in times of domestic dispute is the best way for a women to protect herself.
How many women have succeeded in killing or disabling a man with any kind of weapon during a domestic dispute? And how many of those have survived the wrath of society after the event? There is another gun lover desperately looking for an application.
@@schmetterling4477 "How many women have succeeded in killing or disabling a man with any kind of weapon during a domestic dispute?" This reminds me of the case of Samantha Ray Mears, who got famous in headlines such as "Woman forced ex to have sex holding machete to his face".
He also forgot to mention, as virtually all liberals do, that domestic violence isn't gendered. Both genders initiate it and an inconvenient fact for liberals is that the most violent domestic relationships are lesbian ones where no men are present. The leftist narrative of violent men and innocent female victims is simply not true, and continues purely due to leftists loudly pushing it while suppressing the facts.
However so many women dress in such a way as to advertise their sexuality and nothing else. They hide every other part of their character. And yet get cross if a man then treats them as a sex object. We want men to behave but often don't help with the process. And we know this!
@@duyduhh3798 That's true. But the reverse happens as well. Men who only get approached by women they deem unattractive aren't happy about that either.
Yeah we definitely need another conversation about men behaving badly, there's so little focus on that in our culture and so little focus on women behaving badly...
Interesting point. Maybe the topic could have covered women's behavior. Something like, "how to escape a relationship without your partner killing you or your children." That way, we could cover this topic without talking about men's behavior.
@@eave01 Yeah, except that the numbers of women who commit DV are not that small, and there is a lack of shelters for abused men even if you belive the smaller number foundable. I wish Shermer would have Justin Trottier, the co founder of Center for Inquiry Canade and co founder of the Canadian Association for Equality, the organization responsable for the first shelter for abused men in Toronto. If you want to see how an example of DV were the women is the perpetuer, you should watch the BBC documentary "Abused by my Girlfriend", that tells the history of Alex Skeel and Jordan Worth. Watch that and tell me who was in danger in that situation.
I often think with many abusive situations and personality disorders accentuated by bad parenting that there may be an evolutionary mismatch - are we more well adapted to open village / tribe arrangements? Do closed nuclear households lack the correctives found in these tribal & extended family dynamics? One consideration I found notable due to its absence in this discussion is peer pressure or social environment. Some men behave badly due to the bad behavior which is demonstrated, egged on, and expected in the peer group. This could be the case in the soldiers who rape, for instance. I also expected perhaps to hear more material related to human relatives and their observed behaviors.
I often think we blame what type of parenting one may have had or didn’t have and place too much stock in childhood experience for bad behavior as adults. It seems simplistic and very much like an easy scapegoat.
Instead of a neutral exploration of the fascinating differences between male and female mating strategies, including deception employed by both sexes, David Buss poisons the well by choosing an outright sexist title for his book. Fortunately for David, no one is ever cancelled for misandry.
@@eave01 It was actually my sexbot who asked the question. Ever since I tried to top up her charge in my Tesla she thinks she's in the wrong body, insists I ride her to work and to do my shopping. So I punched her.
thank you for this intriguing research and discussion! -- It highlights my own discovery that the neurotypical [=normal/majority/common] neurotype versus the neurodiverse minority are in fact often as different as men are from women. the key is to accept these engrained differences with love, kindness, and tolerance, and be happy of such diversity, for without it we are a race of identical droids. I love seening humanity embracing our lovely differences and striving to understand one another in an intent for harmony and complimentarity. peace.
Few ideas - Be good and more accurate to replace word "bad" with harmful. My scanning of literature is that abusers were abused - childhood trauma. What % of guys do harm? It has to be VERY small. My understanding is that self-harm is most dangerous to men, e.g., the main form of gun violence is suicide. Why aren't these guys citing research vs personal stories and pop culture? Sex addiction is also a big problem that is denied. So "skeptics" don't ask for evidence, data, proof? In science this kind of talk is called "hand waving." Pop culture platitudes, ho hum.
@@brainmoleculemarketing801 uh no I’m not saying that at all, actually. I just happen to like the word bad (not to be confused with the concept of “bad”) so I’m just fighting for the right to use it. 😉
I behave nicely. Wow where is everyone else? O_o;?? I dont consider the meto a movement. OR anything that happens on twitter a "movement" Gad Saad has more nuance I think. Physical abuse is sexual as well? No that... is way to far for me.
Dr. Buss's book is not a response to the "Me Too Movement", Dr. Shermer. He's been researching this topic for 3 decades. Don't paint him as some reactionary.
Most men are dying alone throughout history either fighting for their believes or their family or sometimes sexually rejected by females.It's women who have to start dying alone in large quantity.
I have been listening to this guy for 5 years already and I can't find a way of changing my mind about the whole relationships thing. I do not want to partake in relationships because to do so, I am required to pretend none of this is true. I have to engage in the lies of romantic love, which I can no longer tolerate after listening to this guy. You can see how this stuff makes people go crazy. Just listen to any redpill guy on the internet. They clearly still want to engage in relationships with women, some even want monogamy. How in the world could you want that and truly understand this stuff. You have to lie to women in order to to that, you probably have to lie to yourself too.
I dont believe a woman would sleep with a guy just because he is of high status. We need to feel safe, protected, care for, seduced, most importantly aroused and this process for us takes time. Unfortunately not too many guys put thought into making us women feel the desire to surrender to him. A guy being physically attractive is not enough, unless she is getting paid to do it. I think if you want to know how often men are having sex ask regular women or sex workers for I bet men would lie.
Men have to invest in order to get sex,A women will not have to do so.A men must become in society and women just are and in reality 80% of guys are not having sex even with prostitutes.
"Without data, you're just pimping your personal platitudes." Animal ethology...duh. "Nothing in biology makes sense except in light of...."..phylogeny. What is cause what is effect. Quotin the Bible! Good lord....
Darwin was ok for his time real mating and assessing is soo remote from today men take what they want whatever cost their sex drive is paramount why why why
And I must conclude, I would fall out of love with her forever! She was up to the consequences of her action! My heart sealed to eternity and ever being that exist!
"Marital r@pe" Another stupid, stupid feminist talking point. Just because you don't add "marital" to it, the crime itself is already covered by laws that cover its non-marital form. The accusation that courts would not handle such cases because they were committed between married partners is so hilariously divorced from reality that it is absurd. Just ask any lawyer from a country that doesn't have the marital version of the crime.
There used to be a legal loophole where a person couldn’t be raped by a spouse. However, it’s a technicality in the grand scheme of things. The preponderance of rapes go unreported. The preponderance of reported rapes aren’t taken to court. The preponderance of reported rapes taken to court do not lead to a conviction. People who focus on technicalities and not on this big picture are not taking a proportionate view of the problem.
@@aaronclarke7732 I read your whole comment. It was a party in my heart, and a walk on a deserted beach at sunset holding hands with a loved one. I pity people who stopped after the first sentence.
In this conversation there are many, many points where they make generalisations across all men or all powerful men. This is a big mistake and of course unfair on the many (powerful) men who are well behaved with women. It also encourages angry man haters to do the same.
@@eave01 Not particularly. I just don't want over-generalizations. There is a part of the interview where they talk about individual differences but then they return to the pattern of ignoring them.
@@matthewleitch1 I agree that there is some overgeneralization, for instance, women in lesbian relationships are more likely to die by an intimate partner than women in heterosexual relationships, but they dealt only with men behaving dangerously toward women--I don't think it's because of the book title either. I think that the issue of homicide due to domestic partner violence simply does not have enough good raw data on this topic, which leaves us vulnerable to drawing wrong conclusions, and an inability to articulate the problem. In example, It's often stated that 80% of women who are killed by a domestic partner subject to abuse prior to the murder, but how many people experience domestic abuse that are not murdered? Nobody knows. Maybe 80% is just the normal amount of abuse. I am a woman (who was born a woman in the USA) and in my experience, more than half the time, if I am alone in a room/elevator/car/parking garage with a straight man, he will expect that I am going to have sex with him. Right there. He is going to attempt to hold me down and have sex with me even if we have never met. In my experience, he doesn't care if I am pregnant, related, married, underage, injured, carrying a small child, or in the middle of doing something else. In my personal experience, resistance results in injury. My personal solution is to avoid men, and to not be alone with a man I don't already intend to have sex with. In my personal experience, once I have had sex with a man, he will do everything in his power to gain and maintain control over me, and even though I have served in the military in wartime, the most dangerous thing I have ever done-- the closest I have come to dying has been breaking up with a man. Discussions like this one help me to realize that my personal experience has been an anomaly in the spectrum of male/female relations.
@@eave01 Sorry to hear you have had bad experiences. In the discussion of individual differences they refer to the fact that even in the most tempting situations some men just do not behave badly. That may be just stronger self control of instinct, or it might be that some men are wired to favour the strategy of long term, loyal partnership with a woman. There are species where this is the normal, genetically driven pattern (e.g. penguins, swans). What if in humans both patterns have evolved and that is why we see variations between men (and why monogamy exists as a norm in many human societies today). This is pure speculation by a man who is very well behaved and completely loyal to his wonderful woman.
@@matthewleitch1 Thank you for your empathy. I think that not all of us are wired the same way. ... Like chimps vs bonobos. I've done a lot of reading on research. It suggests that the greater the sexual dimorphism, the more likely the aggressive sexual tendencies. So, for a safer male female interaction, I should give precedence to shorter men with less facial hair. And I suspect that I should avoid practitioners of Judaism, Christianity, Muslim or Hindu faiths.
Touch my Lilly, and I will blow up an entire kingdom! No remorse will lay hold of me! Hence why, such as man as myself must account every action! And yes, the block headed Nietzsche would here say how is such a thing possible! I would then refer, physiology!
Way too simplistic. Some things they say are so generalised. I recommend watching PZ Myers, he can say why this is incorrect so much better than I ever could.
@@francesbell9465 I agree that his hypothesis is simplistic, but I know Myers well enought to know that he will ignore one of the biggest problems in Buss' analyses: The fact that women also commit sexual violence. (Look up "The Understudied Female Sexual Predator" by Conor Friedersdorf for one article about the subject.)
@@BNK2442 I don't doubt that, but the the whole hypothosis is flawed from the get-go because, the little I know about evolution is that it is far more complicated than this. Psychology is also so much more complicated - groupings of 'men' think like this and 'women' like that (even though he says 'generally') is still ridiculous.
He being an eight she being a six! What hookum! What superficial pursuit! Again the need of cultural re-evaluation! Such a man cannot bear pain because he not understood the gradations of will!
The vast majority of wo-men treat everything around them as either tools or objects. Once a man learns that, he is allowed the opportunity to adapt to their fra-uds if he chooses. Always keep ment-tal control with wo-men. They will try to take it, and that's when you lose. The stronger you are, the more ab-uses.
The thing that bothers me with this interview is that we are just listening to two men, no women. And who knows if either or both of them are deceptive and have in fact been abusive towards women? As a women that thought is sitting in my head. The deception that is rife.
I realize that this attitude has become commonplace, but, as a woman, I find it perplexing. This topic seems to be important to you. Therefore you might want to hear what David Buss has to say simply because he's a social scientist who has studied this area a lot. Written lots about it. Is recognized as an authority. So you might learn something useful. If you want to learn more, it can serve as a starting place. So listen. Listen skeptically. Listen for ideas that you think might reflect male bias. Then research those, perhaps looking for female scholars who disagree with his analysis. But please, do yourself a favor and do not stop before you start simply because you are afraid of what a man, or two men, might say. We all have the power to think critically, without fear, about issues important to us. And if you listen all the way to end you'll hear David Buss' offer a rousing endorsement of women's choice as a basic human right.
It's important to hear what men think about this topic. Even the horribly offensive and inarticulate comments in the comment section are of interest. How will we survive interactions with them if we do not know what they think. For example, his statement that women should be extremely clear makes it obvious that he does not know how dangerous making such a thing clear can be.
Wow why haven't I heard of this guy before? I've been following people like Shermer, Harris, Gad Saad etc for years but never heard of Buss. But this chat alone made me go out and buy his book.
For at least 190,000 years (most likely more) of our specie's existence we were not living in cities under patriarchal systems, which bloomed only after the advent of agriculture. It's impossible to say what behavior is trauma related, from generations of exploitative and abusive treatments, connected to civilization and it's hierarchies itself. Where is the person (male or female) untouched by these systems of oppression that we can study? They don't exist. Patriarchy has not always existed as a system of oppression, and we should remember that men also suffer as victims under patriarchy. It is not just women that suffer under these systems of oppression and exploitation.
The problem is that while there was not set ''system'' of patriarchy, it does follow that because males are bigger, they can often ''have their way'' with smaller, and female persons. It's unsurprising that warriors and hunters were always accorded higher status. Of course, as a man, if you didn't ''make the cut'', you were accorded lower status and often, enslaved if you managed to survive, say, a war or raid by hostile tribes. Women were largely considered more ''valuable'' only for sex and domestic labor.
@@TGP109 you are still talking about a time after the advent of agriculture. I'm referring to a time long before that. When people lived in groups, a man's larger size would not make him able to bully women, (or smaller men) indiscriminately, as other people would be around and that kind of behavior not tolerated. Women are at an extreme disadvantage when they are paired off with one man. It's not good to be in an isolated living arrangement with a person who is capable of physically dominating her on the regular. It's not something women would choose on their own, as it is definitely not in her best interest. Men benefited from that arrangement, not women.
@@saransong5547 dude wtf r u on? Before agriculture, we were still hunter-gatherers. The physically stronger males dominated the tribes, often through violence and fear. So patriarchy has always existed, albeit on a smaller tribal scale. How is this not obvious to u?
This guy was smart, giving his book a very "anti-male" sounding title- The mere fact that he's acknowledging the sexual dimorphism in the human brain, and the reality that males and females have inherent behavioural differences would likely get him shunned from academia (and may still do that...), for contradicting the dominant "gender is just a social construct" dogma, otherwise. But now he at least has fighting chance that the "men are bad!!" messaging will win him more supporters in academia, than the "men and women have inherent biological differences" sentiment gathers detractors. But, if the social-constructionist, trans-activist movement DO try to 'cancel' him, at least it will reveal how little they care about violence against women, And how willing they are to sacrifice the safety of natal women, on the altar of unquestionable, pro-trans dogma. It doesn't matter HOW MUCH data you have, and how solid your research is- openly admitting that men and women have actual biological, neurological, and behavioural differences is "hateful", doncha know?
Shame that the main problem is that domestic violence is not only man against woman, the numbers of women abusing men us not small enought to be ignored, 'violence against women' was just created as a category to exclude male victims.
Interesting conversation, thanks. I would have preferred fewer interruptions by the host, though, to allow the guest to develop his thought in greater detail.
It is bizarre that he never has people such as Donald Dutton or Philip W. Cook or anyone who would disrupt the narrative about the issue. If he cared about free debate he would give them a voice. But I guess that the only dabate he thinks is important is "sHoUld tRanS bE n fEmaLE SpORtS, mY oPInIOn S nO."
Thank you. There isn't much hope, however. Human relations, although likely evolved to be what they are, are way too chaotic to ever get ironed out enough to avoid conflict.
Listening to the discussion around 35min. in, one would think only men are desirous of variety when it comes to sex and mates. Nonsense - women are too. That women may feel more vulnerable (possible loss of a mate that provides help with raising offspring), and avoid 'cheating', is because we have set up our societies to create that vulnerability. Believe me, at 61 I still want variety - and most women I have known throughout my life do too. Let's face it - marriage or any 'coupling up' options are simply socially created. We don't need the restrictions of such conformity-we can act responsible and still have a whack load of fun!
@@topologyrob Because all those allegations were made to PZ Myers (clearly a non impartial person) without any evidence. You are not very good in skepticism. X)
@@BNK2442 Scepticism is rather complicated when it comes to allegations of sexual assault. And my understanding is that these allegations went well beyond P.Z. Myers.
What if the individual did not have a gun? How would he have asserted himself? Would he not have resulted to acceptance of his condition? That being his inability! Would he not accept gradations of strength and will? As a consequence, would such a man not become ordered? Would he not, out of experience improve on virtue? Would he not learn from experiences?
This is why men have to work as hard in marriage! The prerequisite for marriage or a relationship is most important! At a point, the price for losing a wife is costly!
