When to Leave a Relationship, Why People Cheat, Playing Hard to Get & Listener Q&A with Dr. John 

Dr. John always matching other people’s energy. He’s so calm & quiet but we all know he’s really not 😂

A perfect marriage or relationship is an illusion; there's no universal playbook for making them work. What's effective for one couple may not apply to another. Nevertheless, I've come to understand that there's always a solution to be found. Half a decade ago, my wife and I faced such trials in our marriage that divorce seemed inevitable. Yet, through perseverance and determination, we navigated through the rough waters and emerged stronger, reunited, and more resilient

“Just show up, be still, and sit with people.” This is so perfect. I often wonder what to say when friends and family are going through an impossibly hard time. I want to help but don’t feel like I have the right words at the time. This is so beautiful and so helpful. ❤ Love you Dr.John.

It's really very simple, not complicated at all. People cheat because they're insecure and don't respect/love their partner. If someone truly loves someone, they would never do anything to hurt them.

Dr. John is awesome. Love to see a good guy doing this work.

I love how he described going to the concert with his wife and how he experienced that with her which really hit the mystery button for him because he learned something new about her… so sweet.

Something like 70% of relationships that begin after a divorce will fail. People believe that leaving one relationship will instantly bring happiness. That is literally seeking external validation. The unhappiness is almost always an internal struggle, not because of the partner or the relationship. Love Dr. John!

Love Dr. John, that man has so much wisdom. He is doing Gods work.

My cousin just sat beside me at the visitation at funeral home.when.my.mom died. It was so comforting and its really all I remember. Just be there, you don't need to speak.

"Settling is about you" So profound, honestly.

He’s right keeping the mystery, compassion, fun, laughter alive.. all breed desire

This was a FANTASTIC interview. I LOVE Dr. John. He is always so full of insights! ❤

Dr. Delony was an amazing guest on this show-far more amazing than most people watching will ever understand. Totally Proud of you, Man!

"I'm going to continue to try and show up in the next moment" i needed this today

Dr. John is beyond awesome. Everything he says hits, and he is MUCH more relatable and human than so many other therapists running around the internet. ❤❤❤❤

DJD Is my favorite pod cast. My wife and I listen to him every morning. He is the man!!!

I remember the first time I heard "I believe you" from a family member when finally admitting to the absolute soul draining emotional and mental abuse I had been experiencing in my marriage for years. I hid it out of embarrassment and shame. I am strong a woman, but for whatever reason, I let him break me. I suffered in silence and was gaslit into thinking I deserved it all. Hearing the words "I believe you" meant everything to me. It validated that I was not crazy. I could not stop crying when I heard those words.

Nice video, I'm still struggling with the end of my 7-year relationship. My significant other, who I considered to be the love of my life, left me a month ago, and I can't seem to shake the constant thoughts of him. Despite my efforts to bring him back into my life, nothing has worked, and I feel frustrated and hopeless. I've tried to move on, but my heart still longs for her, and I don't see myself with anyone else. I apologize for sharing this here, but I just can't seem to stop missing him.

It’s because gmos came out around the time we were born and after 20-30 years of poisoning our guts and brains are failing. Also social media I had debilitating anxiety but started eating organic and self help 10 years ago. I very rarely ever have anxiety anymore

The relationship with my boss took a complete turn when I told her I thought she wanted me out I told her I thought the work environment was toxic my feelings were all wrong but opening up the uncomfortable communication with her made a difference we talked about what we both were there to do she wanted me to do well and stay and that was all I needed to hear to stay and do well in the relationship ( this just happened yesterday) it was so uncomfortable but I’m glad I didn’t just walk out

I love Dr. John’s podcast and he seems like a great guy!! This was a great segment. I’m glad I found your podcast. I will start listening to it.

Ooof when he said the thing about he asking his wife to make a syllubus of herself, I started tearing up. Because I had the same thought “what if my spouse doesn’t like me if he knew everything about me or all that I enjoyed”. Ugh vulnerability is scary.

It’s so great! Love hearing from good peoples.

Note to the host: your enthusiasm, honesty, and vulnerability was appreciated. I did find myself distracted by the persistent filler words like “mhm” and “yeah.” Keep up the great work!

Men only need a few things to be happy. Don't be loud and give it up as much as he needs and feed him. He will begin to treat you like a queen. I'm the luckiest man in the world and i'd do anything for my woman. She doesn't blame me for everything. We do anything for each other. If she doesn't feel like cooking I'll cook or bring home dinner and don't give her grief about it. But if I need loving she will give it. We never reject each other. Always keep each other happy. Ive been married for 23 years and don't plan to go anywhere and would never cheat and lose what i have.

I'm going through the most uncomfortable time of my life but.I can tell that it's probably the best thing to.ever.happen.to me.if.I can.just hang in there and.be strong,.I can do this! 😊

On Romance, women should start HRT when in perimenopause. I'm 60, my doctor went against the medical opinions and put me on HRT at 50 in order to neuroprotect me from dementia. A couple of months ago, the 2003 study saying HRT was linked to breast cancer was debunked, and 20 years of women's care was denied for a faulty study. I swim in the ocean every day, I look 45, and my joints don't hurt. So changing women's thoughts on HRT is a game changer, and, watch RU-vid guys: how to magnetize your man, they're phenomenal for getting older sex lives like newlyweds.

" People don't need your words, they need you to show up and be present." "Be still ". Truth ! ! Saying things like "They're in a better place" or asking you right away "will you date and get married again" and the worst. . What are you going to do now? Don't ask stupid questions because you feel the need to say something. When someone is mired in grief and saddness, just be there for them without stupid chatter or idiotic questions.It does not comfort their loss or shock.

I’ll rather be comfortable for the rest of my life with the right person. This lady is looking for someone who is perfect that honeymoon phase.

I completely agree with meeting people naturally.

Dr John is simply the best. The best of the best.

“Be a stable presence.”Wow, so insightful. Too bad families and friends don’t get this, especially with recipient’s of Narcistic abuse.

Love is like a flower.... hold it too tightly it will wither and die. Hold it too loosely and it will fly away....

Dr. John, I love to hear you speak. Thank you for these powerful insights. Thought provoking. Great talk!

very nice and thoughtful video. It's the ones that have been through a lot that are the diamonds for relationships. Keep working, keep smiling Arielle

Fantastic episode please have him back and discuss topics. Loved it!!!

I grew up with anxiety,depression and IBS. The protocol at some Hospitals for anxiety attacks or panic attacks is B-12 and thiamine. Make sure your blood levels stay out of the dedicency range. The other thing I learned to deal with panick attacks is to monitor my self talk and to split the mind and speak truthfully and positive to the panicky self. It takes 20 minutes to burn the panick adrenaline so walk the block, self talk and it will calm.

When a woman speaks us men just need to listen and validate whats at the root of her worries ....its that ir gonna leave her or not accept her .

Women feel the same way about DUTY.. I will continue as caretaker, etc etc etc.. even though they are VERY unhappy..

I have So much respect for Dr John...❤

Great chat. Cheating, in ALL its different forms includes one thing DR. John, that’s DECEIVING. Please address this. The lying. Betraying. AND, Once a person cheats there is a 350 per cent chance they will do it again. In the stats.

Infidelity should be treated as a very serious crime equally for both sexes with no exceptions

Affection, touch and sexual starvation in marriage seems to be the new adopted mindset for a lot of modern women, they simply won't take accountability for their closed off issues - this is a MAJOR cause of men simply giving up on their marriages. what do you expect when you don't kiss or make love to your husband for years or decades? If you won't make love with your husband - someone else will - eventually

It felt like the interview was more about her than John.

It's not anxiety - it's CARING ALOT. We aren't anxious what we don't care about. Be curious why you care so much and honor that God gave you a heart to care so much about that thing.

There's no perfect relationship. Cheating is a sign of unresolved childhood issues and lacking the maturity to deal with it before damaging other people.

Dr John is the best!

I love Dr.John he knows his stuff

Looks like he forgot the bit about "I AM AN ABSOLUTE F***ING LEGEND AND I HELP MORE PEOPLE THAN I WILL EVER KNOW" off his intro... again... 😄💜

In AA it has been said that we do not take partners in relationships we take hostages😅

Women need to think about the "elder years"...staying comfortable and in love with a loyal man will give you a partner when you're 80 years old and nobody else gives a shit about you.

I cheat when I feel disrespected, there’s no way for me to do anything back so I fuck around each time. Can’t hit, can’t yell talking is a joke, woman just blame you so I just get even.

Divorce is a choice, not some transformative stepping-stone process for you to meet your one "true" love.

I really think that all too often people leave good partners because they lack the skills needed to foster and maintain emotional connection. If you’re at a place where one or two people are indifférent, that’s why you’re there. Before leaving, I think it’s important to see if both people are willing to go to therapy and put in the work to rebuild or learn how to cultivate connection. If both people are willing and able then leaving an otherwise healthy and good relationship is foolhardy because eventually any new relationship you enter will get to the same place as the one that failed due to a lack of skills. If there is abuse or unwillingness to grow then yes, leaving would be the best option but I think we’re much to quick to move on and unfortunately I think a lot of therapists perpetuate this issue as well by not challenging their patients to examine and own their own role in a failing dynamic. Once you’ve fixed yourself and are truely bringing 100% to your relationship or marriage and you are unable to get the same effort from your partner, then leaving is a worthwhile solution. Until then, you’re just moving your problems around and not solving them.

20:13 Be loyal to me but if I get bored I’m divorcing you lol.

Its so weird seeing John 8 octaves lower than he usually is.

So I was in a 7 year relationship. My lady would constantly break up with me, sometimes once a week and sometimes several times per month. Usually broke up with me before Father’s Day, my birthday, our anniversary, 4th of July, thanksgiving and Christmas. She would say, if you go to the gym we’re over. If you go out of state without me to see your family, we’re done (although she wouldn’t be available even with months of advance notice. If she can’t or doesn’t want to go, means I can’t go or the relationship is over). Getting a haircut by anyone other than her, would cause a breakup. Again, she wasn’t always or willing to cut my hair, so I’d go get my hair cut. She’d tell me how much she hates me, call block me and then she’d come back days or weeks later. She would tell me that I don’t do anything for her, even though I paid all of her expenses for months when she got sick and kept her from going bankrupt. I paid half of her car payment for years also. As time went on she wouldn’t even answer me back when asking about how her day went. As the years went by, she would no longer hold my hand, kiss me and no intimacy. I would still open her car door, strap her in, give her a kiss and tell her that I love her up until the last day. More recently she asked me to help her have a vehicle towed away, I drove two hours late at night, met with the tow truck driver, got the vehicle loaded, and she tells to tow truck driver to unload the vehicle or she’s calling the police. This just totally blew my mind. Here I was fulfilling a commitment that I made to her, and she just wanted to set me up and make me feel like garbage.

The REAL reason why people cheat, is because someone helps them cheat! Imagine if *all* cheaters were told by *every* one their targets, “No, I’m not interested.” End of story!

I'm so sorry this happened to you and your wife. Just frightening. Unfortunately, women can now be denied this life saving care because there are no docs (in some states) willing to risk their license. . .😢

Settling does seem more like the person “settling” rather than the other person.

Dr John !! 👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

Very good interview, excellent questions ! 👌

It's unfortunate Arielle didn't meet Dr John before getting a divorce because she was bored..

Some people have no reason to cheat while some have every reason to. Some people decide for you before marriage that you don’t need sex… Divorce isn’t simple! It’s best to judge your own life!

I watch his show. Could never really put my finger on who he looks like. Robin Thicke

He’s such a great guest, always keeping it real. I just realized that Dr John always wears a black or dark colored shirt. I’ve seen all his podcasts and never thought about that before. Maybe it’s just the camera angle.

Dr. D is the best 🎉

Very interesting 👌 👍 🤔 and very informative 👍 👌 👏

Great questions and answers thank you.

Ive been married for 40+ years. My husband has cheated on me 4 times ( like every 10+ years) He claims that he's bipolar. And, mania takes over. But, he's been in therapy continuously for the last 20years and he takes medication for his bipolar disease. So, whats the truth? Mania or perpetual cheater when he's not happy.

The line of questioning was excellent

Being honest dr.john acts so what's the word like he is perfect I would make a guess he has or is cheating based off of past experiences

Just thank you for this video ❤

Here is why the settling statement is stupid. If I was a good person but poor when you met me and got successful after you left me did you settle? You don’t settle, you get what you accept or where you’re as a person. Also people change over time.

Dr John adjusting to be the interview, his voice sounds different

I love john..

Excellent questions and a great interview, I would only say all of the interviewers "mhmms" were very distracting.

Why are you doing what other people tell you to do? "Don't settle" is always easy to say or think from a person who thinks they are perfect and thinks they do no wrong.

She said she left a good person because it wasn’t “fulfilling” anymore. 🤦‍♂️

Did he say I’m John I got some dogs, some chickens, 2 RAD KIDS OR 2 BRATTY KIDS!?

I completely disagree that your feelings are not telling you the truth.. when actually you’re heart will not. E deceived you can be misunderstanding your feelings because you never did the work to learn how you feel and what your feelings are actually telling you! However if your mind gets you to disregard your feelings and you are not in sync with your emotional body of course you will have bad outcomes as a result. Tap in and learn how you feel about everything and what your bod is actually saying.. It’s such a trick on use that is done to us by those who don’t want you to know how things really work ❤learn trust your heart that’s why we are here. It’s so amazing once you get the hang of listening and knowing what you’re feelings are telling you and they are always right ❤

What's the point of having relationship after sometime they cheat for no reason everything I am doing, still they cheat 😢

Bottom line; people choose to leave or cheat. Choose to be happy without them

Knowing your why is important.

28:28 In regards to being enough. She may have enough with him being fit, but I'm sure she would notice if he stopped going.

God when I listen to this it just makes me hate relationships.

She seems to be disconnected to the “in service of others” part of her life’s ambitions.

She left a good man cause she got bored

Cheating is a cry for help

Sometime people cheat for the dopomine hit, sometimes because someone FINALLY pays attention to them.

It's not true until it is true...

Husband would chase and pursue money for himself. Not much attention for me. I was just a worthless piece of crap. It's hard to overcome those words from your husband, even after he is gone.

Even on 1.25 speed, she still talks too slow

If you sleep apart from your spouse, like John does, is that a good strategy for marriage? Or do a LAT?

😂 John is smitten with the host. He is never this way.

What does that mean? You marry your unfinished business 🤔 can you elaborate further

Dr Johnnnn 🎉

Love you Dr. John!!! 🙏🏻🩵 You help so many of us! I love how you talk about and protect your wife! This woman seems flirty with you.

Love Dr. John! But, this was ruined by the host's constant "mm hmm"s. It was super distracting while he was answering her questions. In podcasting, you're quiet when the other person is talking. To the host, please, keep the interjections to a bare minimum while interviewing.

Awesome