This Type of Man Always Cheats! - Signs He Doesn't Love You (Even If You Think They Do) | Dr. Ramani 

When a man tells a woman he loves her but turns around and disrespects and betray her over and over again, thats not love, its a form of abuse

Bottom line: if you see cheating behavior you leave. And if you can’t trust you leave. Healthy people don’t make you question your worth or sanity.

I'm a man and I've never cheated...not all men have the urges of stray dogs!

I think that women should support each other by refusing to be with another women’s husband.

I live with a narc/mfr cheater. I’m secretly planning to leave him for good.

She’s sooooo right. If a man is being flirty with other women, even waitress and stuff in front of you that’s a big red flag. If it makes you uncomfortable, listen to that. You deserve more. ❤❤❤

My father was crying to my mom not to divorce him but guess what he cheats again and again, it never stops. Don't believe a cheater.

And putting your partner at risk for std’s is so disrespectful

My ex accused me of cheating because I was finishing work late. I sent him a picture of myself at work. He accused me again and I answered how would I even cheat at work? He replied it’s so easy to cheat at work. 🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩🚩 He cheated on me with a coworker.

I’ve been cheated on many times. I’ve learned the best way to keep myself open to love and trust (not shutting ourselves up like the analogy of the boarded up windows) is to trust, not others, but MYSELF. The idea that “if this person does betray me, I’ll be ok. I can handle it in a healthy way” 💪 so building self trust has been my saving grace.

Dr Ramani should seriously get a Nobel prize for the work she is doing. And saving lives.

A narcissist always cheats then they gaslight their partner to justify their cheating .

Love bombing does not equal a healthy relationship. The doctor is spot on. Showering someone with attention, compliments and gifts on its own does not equal healthy.

If someone believes their relationship/marriage is over and they want to give up on that for whatever reason, they should just break up, cheating and then blaming the other person is so self-centered, immature and downright disgusting.

Dante labeled cheaters as among the lowest in Hell, and I definitely agree with that.

Just because your lover passionately denies cheating on you doesn’t mean she/he isn’t having an affair just because they feel insulted!

Cheating is narcissistic. So find a narcissist and you will find a cheater.

I truly never even considered that my husband would be a cheater. I thought he was a totally honest and faithful person. Yet he cheated three times before I had had enough and divorced him after almost 30 years.

This is EXACTLY what happened to me. I was gaslighted so bad and the cheating was minimized. I panicked to “save” our relationship. I ended up taking him on a vacation to get away. Basically rewarded him. So disgusted in hindsight. This happened in 2021. Got him out of my house a month ago. Only on day 5 no contact. This has been TORTURE. I am finally feeling better going no contact. The addiction feeling is passing.

I think of cheaters as cowards. They want to maintain the status quo, so they just can’t come clean with the person they made a vow to. Tell the truth so the other person can move on with their life, too.

Being cheated on is being used. You’re being used for your emotional energy, attention, your time, domestic work, cooking, as well as sex, money, status, or a place for them to live. Learn to live alone and learn to use your energy to make your world a better place instead.

A lot of men will marry a maid and then go out to cheat with their dream girl. It's infuriating. So when he tells his maid 'I love you', he means it. He loves you as his maid (and mother of his children).

I would go farther and say cheating is happening in over 50% of relationships.

Oh man... the "energy shift" is real. Intuition is a wonderful thing, I just wish we were taught how to listen to it. That's exactly what happened to me - I didn't have the smoking gun, and was always gaslit - but for me, the night I had a though of driving by his work to see if he was having an affair, that in IN ITSELF was my sign. I then said "this isn't working for me anymore". I still loved him - 17 years and I walked away. I had suspicions of his "work wife" aka his boss - long story short, he was having an affair. Trust your gut ladies. The greatest gift you can give yourself is to do your inner work to the point where you trust yourself to make it through anything, no matter what. Once the pain of staying is greater than the fear of leaving /the unknown, take your lessons and go live your best life

"Things weren't going well between us and I was bored" was the narcissist's excuse for cheating.

Unfortunately, infidelity tends to go hand in hand with narcissism. Especially, somatic narcissism. Narcissists believe EVERYTHING they need is external, including self-worth, self-esteem, validation, etc. Those things are what make up our inner world and we are supposed to develop and cultivate them within/on our own. Narcissists DEPEND on people to supply those things for them. Because we cannot (nor, are we supposed to) supply every want/need of a partner, narcissists are always on the lookout for "better supply". They will always gravitate toward anyone they feel can meet the needs/wants their spouse isn't (and can't). Narcissists are unstable and they cannot soothe themselves. They cannot meet their own needs and their needs/wants are constantly changing. Narcissists are black holes. They are human abyss' of unmet needs/wants. Even if you gave them everything, they'd still want MORE... All while giving NOTHING in return. Narcissists are also pathologically bored. They do not experience boredom the way normal adults do. They're like children. Once they become bored, they tend to throw their toys (people) in a corner to collect dust. Then, they search for new ones... Untilllll, they realize that their newest toy isn't as fun. Or, it doesn't function as well as the old toy did. Then, they'll go digging in the corner to find that old toy (the reason their relationships tend to be off and on). People are objects meant to keep them occupied and entertained. The newer the toy, the better/more exciting it is. However, EVERYONE will inevitably lose their shine with the narcissist. You must accept their reality and realize that it's NOT ABOUT YOU and it never was. This is also the point when it becomes crucial to sit your ego on the curb. Your ego will want to fight to be seen. Your ego will want to fight to prove you're enough. Your ego will feel it's "worthy" of the narcissist and fight to "keep" them... But, again: IT'S NOT ABOUT YOU. Most narcissists are extremely irresponsible. Many of them marry to secure stability. Or, to have someone they can count on to help with bills to free up their resources. It also ensures they'll have somewhere safe to land when they fall - because they always f*** up... Do yourself a favor and pull that rug of security out from under them and save YOURSELF. Narcissists do not have a moral compass. They do not respect the union of marriage. It'll always be a one-sided arrangement with you being the giver that's making their life easier and them being the taker that's making your life harder. We deserve the same love, attention, support and understanding that we give our spouses. You will never get it from someone suffering with NPD. Moreover, if you feel sure that your husband might never cheat on you, you might have to rethink. Most wives in marriages are shocked when they find out their husband cheating, and it happens more with people who never thought they would cheat. This is why you have to take the tiniest suspicion carefully. If your husband is cheating on you, the best and probably the only guaranteed way to catch him is to spy on their phones. However, spying on a phone is not something you can do without any external help unless you have the James bond level of spy skills. In such case you will need an expert phone spyier Metaspyhub@gmail. com for the purpose,,,

Don’t do anything to your partner that you wouldn’t want being done to you.

Biggest thing behind cheating is the lies. If lies are happening in this area, it’s happening all over the place. How can someone trust a Liar? That’s why we don’t feel safe with these people.

It's rejection, when you are cheated on, just how I feel ❤

11k views in 7 hours. A lot of us are trying to figure this out. May you all heal and find the love inside, that you truly deserve. Peace Love and Light

I got cheated on about 4 years into a serous relationship. It was awful and almost broke me. It was a very toxic relationship, but the betrayal was something I can’t describe. It was a total mind f$&@!

To me, cheating is something that you have to hide, deny, or minimize to me. I feel if you are doing any of those things-youre cheating me out of REALLY knowing who I'm with so I can respond how I choose. When someone lies and tells me a false narrative-they are cheating me out of the option or ability to respond to what's happening.

Betrayal blindness worked as a survival mechanism for me. Gotta get up and take care of the kids and go to work... can't blow up my life on a Tuesday, kinda thing. Once I started gaining knowledge, thanks to Ramani, I couldn't look away again. Once you know you can't un-know.

I was cheated on multiple times by my ex-narc-husband. I struggle to not blame myself for being "submissive " during my marriage... thinking that would please him. I'm happily divorced and I am not a submissive person, I truly was following my mothers submissive behavior with my verbally abusive/controlling father.

I won't have anything to do with a man ever again. With those odds why bother?

I think this is Dr Ramani's best video yet :) She even opened up about her own wounds. She is such a blessing for us all :)

I remember so clearly saying to my partner that he needs to call me and break it off before he cheats. That's all I ask. He mocked me and said there was no way that was going to happen. My ask was ridiculous. Narcissistic people are the absolute best at mind games!

Cheating, whether Emotional and/or Physical, changes EVERYTHING. Absolutely horrible betrayal to the other person. Anything to crack or bust the Trust with your person is Cheating. For the Cheater...Turn the tables around and think about how YOU would feel if your person did the very same thing to You. Maybe then you will truly understand what you did to your person. There has to be boundaries with Ex's. Valuable discussion - enjoy these two ladies. ❤

If you want to cheat just leave if you don’t want to leave the relationship then do not cheat

I worked mostly with men at my old job. 11 of them. 6 had cheated. One of those six (the richest one)ALWAYS had some sort of a side chick. I also worked at a hotel for 2 years as a young girl and witnessed many affairs. Men should not be trusted. Be wise - buy a property, keep it even after you marry, get a prenup with cheating clause. A men’s most vulnerable place is his wallet, if he knows he loses his money if he steps aside, he might think twice.

The dating pool is quite small if after eliminating toxic people, we then have to eliminate cheaters out of the not obviously toxic pool. 😬

I admire Dr. Ramani, she's intelligent and knows what she's talking about. I learned a lot from her.

Cheating on your partner- a Very narcissistic act whether a person is a narcissist or not. Why do they think they are so special and entitled that they can do this. No doubt Every one of them would hate it if their partner did that to them. If there is an urge to cheat the person could talk to their partner to try and fix what’s wrong in their relationship or leave. To cheat is the most horrendous treatment and disrespect of their partners.

“Those who are looking for the excitement, the fantasy. There is some immaturity moments. Half the excitement is planning it and where we are going to meet”

I was terribly abused by a narcissist and now I’m grateful to open up about it and leave it. Thank you Lisa and Dr for helping people to get rid of their hells🙏

At the 24:30 mark I just started bawlin because Dr. Ramani has described almost verbatim what happened to me with my narcissistic ex husband. That was 4 years ago and it still hurts. Everything this woman has said in this video is completely accurate and I'm so grateful that she makes videos to help us heal and to bring awareness to others about what is happening to them. Dr. Ramani is a Godsend. Thank you! 🙏🏽

Cheating is sneaky and some women live in complete denial. My girl friend swears her man is "a good man" because he does the bare minimum like, making her a coffee for her or massaging her shoulders, buying her flowers for her birthday. Yet this same man has flirted with women from his workplace and talks to them outside of work, a boundary that upset my girl friend which she has communicated to him it upsets her when he does this. He's talked to her many times now in 3 years to open up their relationship to become a poly relationship, and me watching her be upset and confused by this. She is happy just with him and no one else, meanwhile he wants a third woman in his relationship. The moment a monogamous relationship becomes open, and more people involved, that's when your relationship dies. Some women seriously live in denial and them don't see they can do better and deserve better.

She is spot on. Narcissists once confronted with proof of their cheating will actually become angry and blame the person they cheated on!

"We're not just grieving that a relationship has ended; we're also grieving a future that we expected to come!" "We're grieving the innocence of a forever love story that we believed in!" That's why I say Disney lied. So many of us are raised on Disney movies, especially little girls and I feel like many of those are bad for the mental health of young children, because it puts an often unreachable expectation in their heads about life and if one grows up in a toxic household, especially with a narcissistic parent then when they grow up they have too high of expectations for life and become completely disappointed in life causing anxiety, depression, etc...

We walk around with blinkers on because we dont want to believe it

56:50 Betrayal hurts, cheating is at the end of the day a personal choice and it's about the person who is cheating not the other person. Healing from narcissistic abuse is about living for yourself not defining yourself through accommodating others at the expense of self. It's about being your true self and honouring that through acts of self love and self-respect and not self abandonment.

I could listen to Dr. Ramani all day the way she articulates her thoughts in a organized clear and meaningful manner❤️

First thing that raises red flags is behavior changes. You don't even have to look for it. You start to notice pattern changes, simply for the fact that something has changed. Also you will start to notice the over explaining of unusual absences. Then you will start notice new behavior patterns. Usually men are sloppy AF when they are trying to cover up their bullshit. For example, their excuse for being gone always changes, but it'll be the same time and days every week. When it gets to the point, to where you can predict the excuse before it he even gives it, you pretty much have your answer. My favorite way to get them to tell on themselves is by making an ambiguous statement that only a guilty person would take as an accusation. You never come out and accuse them of anything, but they will deny doing the exact thing you never actually accused them of. When they get all defensive, its like "dude, i was talking about something completely different, who said anything about cheating? Why did you even go there? I was refering to how you are always trying to get out of doing you chores before leaving the house.". An innocent person wouldn't even think you were talking about them.

healthy relationships empathy, respect, balance, compassion, passion, equity in the relationship

When I found out about his affair and confronted him with it - he said absolutely nothing! The crickets were louder than him. She sent me pics of their time together and all he had to say was "I can't believe she did "that". To this day he hasn't said anything about what he did.

Let alone getting cheated on and gaining an incurable disease. I truly had a dark night of the soul experience.

This prompted me to have the “what is love to you?” Conversation.. and my goodness was it eye opening and productive. Thank you ☺️

You have to pay attention to the energy. Energy does not lie.

One of my favourite things about Dr Ramani is that she brings the *nuance* like nobody's business... But never without the moral clarity, and never forgetting the survivors in a given scenario. I love how firmly she holds onto both. I'm so glad the term "betrayal trauma" was coined, because it really does wreak havoc on a person's psyche. I've experienced both parental betrayal and romantic betrayal. Both were legitimately devastating, but in some very different ways. I wouldn't say one was worse than the other, just different. When I was in the very acute stage of the romantic betrayal trauma, I saw a video by a life coach who essentially laid most of the blame on the person getting cheated on. I can't emphasise enough what a spiral that sent me down. I'm so glad Dr Ramani spoke out against that kind of rhetoric.

You don’t have to wait until the other person gives you a show down in order to break up. If you don’t feel comfortable if you suspect they are cheating if you don’t not want to continue the relationship in general you don’t need a reason you end the relationship. Life can be whatever you make it.

Dr. Ramani I felt like you were remembering the pain you experienced in your past relationships. I felt you were remembering this pain ,I felt hurt for you. You have helped us so much getting thru Toxic Relationships. I want to wish you peace and happiness in your future. 😊😊

23 years of being devalued and cheated on. The trauma bond is deep and I’m seeing a therapist

I love how Dr. Romani pointed out that ''I love you'' can mean a lot of different things to people. It took me a really long time for me to tell my boyfriend that I love him. And when I said it I knew exactly what it meant when I said it. My boyfriend was a little hurt at the beginning because I didn't say it back, but eventually he understood why it took me so long because I wanted it to be from a deep place within my heart.

"When Men heal, the World changes." Wow, profound! #BlessedBeThee🐦

Cool video, My relationship of 5 years ended a month ago. The love of my life decided to leave me, I really love her so much I can’t stop thinking about her, I’ve tried my very best to get her back in my life, but to no avail, I’m frustrated, I don’t see my life with anyone else. I’ve done my best to get rid of the thoughts of her, but I can’t, I don’t know why I’m saying this here, I really miss her and just can’t stop thinking about her.

Cheating males 1. Handsome 2. Rich 3. Not used to beautiful women 4. Truckers 5. Fitness 6. Cops 7. Military So basically anyone with XY CHROMOSOME.

So true. A cheater does it for them. No matter how good we can be. It is for them and about them that they cheat. Their lost 🤷🏼‍♀️

Thank you . I'm so sick of hearing men say its the woman's fault. Any post or video I've seen on social media about relationships and cheating , there's always a woman asking why men cheat on good women . Then you see several men chiming in blaming women . Its that's mans issue not the woman. If a man has an issue in the relationship, talk to your woman about what the issue is. Tell her what you're feeling and why. Cheating isn't going to solve what's going on in a man's mind . It's only going to cause more problems

They cheat because they are they are sociopaths with no conscience. There’s no other excuse to make that choice.

I am amazed: when Dr. Ramani showed how a narc would answer the question about 'what is love?' and the response to the confrontation about texts in the phone (gaslighting, attacking, etc.), those are EXACTLY my husband's reactions and words - vocabulary, body language, voice tone 😮

I love seeing women having a conversation about something not talked about often in an authentic way.

The problem with discussing what is considered cheating with a potential partner is that a narcissist will LIE about everything and tell you what you want to hear. I made it abundantly clear what my views were on a certain subject, and he agreed at the time. Well, lets just say it took a while to come out, but he certainly did NOT agree. So, now im hurt because of what occurred but also because he lied.

I think we all have to be "prepared" to be cheated on or to put an end to a relationship at some point even though it is the best relationship we have ever had. We also need to prepare to be able to enjoy a relationship without forgetting that romantic relationships are not only romantic, it's also a business, it's also an investment, it's also a deal between two people...never forget that...and just like in business, always take care of your share. Be prepared to feel and deal with anger, jelousy, sadness, frustration when it's time to say goodbye but enjoy the ride.

Cheaters can come in various forms but it all boils down to one thing: IF the person who cheated valued what they built with their partner and valued their partner they would NEVER cheat! The cheating is all you need to know about how the person thinks about you and values you. For me I think it says everything about the cheater and nothing about the partner who stayed faithful other than obvious betrayal.And no..... I would never in a million years stay or take a cheater back. If a man lacks self respect, by me staying in his life and allowing him the space to learn how to cover up his next cheat better (cause that is what will happen)that just makes no sense and actually shows I have no respect for myself. Ultimately if someone cheats on you, the healthy response is to choose "you" cause they have just disqualified themselves of being worthy of your time, access and attention. No cheating man is ever worthy of having a woman take him back and give him a second chance because something breaks down in the sequence of the cheating. Self love and self respect should always trump trying to keep the supposed "love" of a man that has just spat on you emotionally!!!

Everyone has the capacity to cheat, but what stops people from cheating is boundaries. The people committed to their relationship will avoid being alone with someone who could even potentially be a love interest. That includes a friend who is a girl who has been there through thick and thin. Who is "like" a sister, or the one you don't need to "worry" about. For guys, it's all about touch and proximity. That's why so many guys cheat with the nanny. Doesn't matter how ugly she is, just look at Arnold Schwarzenegger. Doesn't matter if you've been alone together a hundred times sometimes an inappropriate thought pops up or an urge, and your side eye body language can trigger the same though and urge in the other person. So just avoid it altogether. You can be friends with someone without having alone/private time with them.

Relationship betrayal hurts a lot it’s the most memorable… it changes their relationship with themselves how they trust again. The reason why ppl cheat is not bc of you. But it deeply affects everyone no matter the length of the relationship married or not.

What about porn? If they watch porn instead of going to their partner, is that cheating?? Because I think it is and he won’t stop!!!

59:10 Thank you for saying this. I’m a 52 year old Psychotherapist and have been secretly beating myself up for years, for not being able to completely trust again, and seeing the potential of betrayal in everyone. I put it down to having a more realistic boundary about letting someone close to my heart. How sad the younger open hearted, honest, loving me, is now more controlled. It’s comforting to know you also feel this way Dr Ramani.

I love listening to Dr. Ramani. Thank you Lisa for having her as your guest. You are a fabulous host and ask the best questions. It's good to see the Dr. expose some of her own vulnerability. This was awesome learning. Thank you both.

I love Dr. Ramani! She is so honest from a scholarly standpoint.

Dr Ramani is a legend! Thank you for inviting her back time and again @Lisa! She is like a mother from another grandmother ❤

My ex cheated then blamed me for it. He would flirt with women in front of me. Then told me I was paranoid & said I was crazy. Then after we split, he did a whole turn around then admitted cheating on me. Total narcissist. He would never take the blame for what he did. Till it was over, then he begged to have me back with him. I've been single for years. We're brain washed into believing we have to be with someone in life. The only person that is loyal & makes you happy is yourself. I'm more or less a hermit. Which I prefer, no stressful relationship along with the lies. While I watch people around me argue like mad. Thankfully I saved myself from all that. Folks will learn, eventually. Why live a life of unhappiness just to say your with someone.

Holy moly. That DARVO explanation felt like an exact argument I had with my ex - I didn’t go through his phone but I did approach him about texting in the bathroom and phone behaviours and disappearing at a work conference for an entire night and day … or staring at other girls. This is exactly how the convo would go with him - deny, call me crazy, weird, not normal, and criticise me, say he paid for everything (he always insisted), always did everything etc. He tried to get me to leave my job, sell my car, move in with him … I’m so glad I didn’t! But I think that was a sticking point for him in our relationship - he could never get that full control

*exactly, you are not to blame if someone cheats*

narcissists feel entitled to more relationships.

You are so right about the social media liking of pictures, people who flirt with waitresses, people who have to be the center of attention, that are always posting their life on the media, lying and trying to make people believe that they have a very successful life, making it look like if they’re 💯 financial stable when they have anything they advertise having. This was my life recently with a Narcissist.

Absolutely fantastic conversation; I pre-ordered Dr Ramani's book a month ago, and I'm on countdown for its release.

No dull moments with this two. Thanks Dr. Ramani for all the wisdom.

His explanation of how he healed his childhood wounds…❤ such a motivating section of the video.💯🙏🏾

Thank you for this episode Lisa, I needed to hear this today, after I ended a relationship where he was just not communicating enough to me. I can easily detect the lack of empathy towards me. In conclusion he has a beautiful body but not a beautiful mind! Dr Ramani is the best at explaining all of these issues, love to listen to her. Also I love you hair that way, lets see more of that styling!

There's always something I learn, that I didn't know I needed to know, from Dr Ramani. Brilliant

My ex cheating spouse’s mother was a serial cheater and was not discreet about it. Now I wonder in which ways my son has been impacted by his father’s cheating. Leaving his dad was the best thing I did, but the consequences remain.😢

Thank you for defining what a healthy relationship looks like ❤ I just want to focus on moving forward not focus on all the negative any longer…That’s just where I’m at 😅

My second husband accused me of cheating even though I had no inclination to cheat, and it was definitely projection because he was the one cheating.

I dated a guy years ago who probably cheated on me. If he didn't cheat, he was going to. I realized this while breaking up with him and at that point I no longer cared. In retrospect, it should have been obvious. He was a liar and a thief, he was dismissive of my opinions and interests and he was selfish. He didn't respect me. I think the essence of infidelity is selfishness and disrespect.

Best skills learn as an adult is when and how to break up with someone. It can saves years of person life

The truth is we are so focused on will they cheat again? I finally left a relationship of 2 years where he cheated different ways many times. Even if he got better, I could never trust him and would feel cheated out of a true love relationship. Being alone is better than staying with someone who cheats on you. They will always blame you and play the victim.

Both of these conversations were absolutely exceptional in their rare, keen insights, and nuance, and the way each party truly listened and responded to each other. This has given me so much to think about. All of you are great!

“They do love their partner they love their lives..but they go out to a convention they jump out of their roll. It’s more of a rebellious nature. “

My guy couldnt give me 3 things he even liked about me, much less love about me. I much rather be liked than loved after this narcotic journey.