When Will The Narcissist Hoover - (Part 2) 

Mine hoovered me 3 months after the most brutal discard and I fell for it! I stupidly agreed to meet up with him only to be love bombed, devalued and discarded again all within an evening! I knew nothing about narcissism at the time and felt very confused. I pursued him for answers as I was in deep confusion and he then had me arrested over "stalking with fear of violence"!!! It was only when the police had concluded their investigations 3 months later that they explained to my solicitor that I had been involved with a Narcissist!! Of course the case was dropped as an NFA (No Further Action). I am a medical professional and I believe his aim was to destroy my career and have me struck off the register! For the three months I was on police bail was the hardest time of my life - I was beyond stressed! My whole reputation was in tatters! During my initial devaluation, discard, hoover and arrest, he had initiated a full blown malice campaign and smeared my name to all my colleagues and friends. Thankfully, sufficient time has elapsed to reveal the truth. He is now well known in the community as a Psychopathic Narcissist. Pure evil.

I was hoovered by a past person repeatedly over a 12 year timeline. You can’t expect these people to leave you alone because sometimes they just never will.

My eye opening relationship only lasted about 6 months total. He started devaluing me after 3 months. I tried to understand it and he became a case study for two months, watching his games, silent tx and sulking and the last month I gathered myself and things and left him. He was predictable and childish and I knew he was toxic but when I saw these videos it fit him perfect. Every manipulation and blaming game that you describe. He's hovered since then. I'm not biting.

I think they always hoover When they have no supply 🤬

It took less than 12 months before he had to destroy me wasting nearly 4 years of my life on something that wasn't real. It hurts and it hurts bad. It's great when they slip up though, it's rewarding. I've had so much help and support he doesn't realise what he's done and I'm glad, I'm the only mug that tolerated him and I won't do it anymore!

I went through it and am willing to help anyone that wants any support or has questions. I’m 3 years NC. I never thought I’d feel better but I do. Thank God…. Literally

It’s been 15 months and I won’t be hovered. After 4 months of waiting for any peep from him after the heinous discard and the silent treatment that followed, I moved 1500 miles away. Then around 10 months out I sent several sympathy cards to him with no return address and laid out his behavior and his pathological sickness. I even wrote some on a postcard where he would see that any random person out there could’ve read it. After being crushed in heart and spirit by him and passing through the initial stages of devastation, loneliness, waiting, suffering, then sad acceptance and finally deciding to turn my love towards myself, I did take a small measure of healing by speaking the truth of his shameful horrid behavior via snail mail and with no address that he could retaliate to.

If you get hovered back in, they WILL ramp up their abuse.

Agree Paula, they all play same mind game, my ex text me when my Dad passed away and also when my Mum passed and turned up uninvited to my Dad's funeral thinking he big man doing a nice thing with his sympathies, wouldn't mind but my Father never liked him and told me so when I decided I had enough of his cheating, plus my Dad was a WONDERFUL MAN who encouraged me to get good solicitor and to get out, my ex husband had a neck showing up to his funeral so this is exactly what they do, all for show and could see that he doesn't fool me any more. Thanks for this Paula.

My MIL used to invite herself into our home to snoop around for things she’d “lent” us. She’d take things back when she was in discard phase and then try to lend things us to again when she was in the Hoover phase. She couldn’t understand it at all when we finally started saying, “thanks, but no thanks.”

Yes! They hoover when they see on social media that you're in a bad place. Like when they saw I'd split up with a boyfriend. Then you realise they've been stalking your profiles for years.

We have to forgive and forget and get on with our lifes because they can never give us what we really deserve ❤️

He started no contact at 3 weeks! I confronted him, then it was no contact every few weeks! We only stayed together cuz of me! I always went to him trying to make it work. We were "together" almost 2 years, but if I hadn't tried to make it work all the time, we wouldn't have lasted 3 weeks! The last discard was 6 weeks ago, and I'm glad he's given me time, cuz now I know I don't want him! I see it clearly now.

So true about me and my narc living together and leading separate lives.

My ex is an extremelly covert narc. He has friends a good job and people like him. 🤢 In the beginning there were only a few little red flags and I didn't know anything about narcs. Now it's the hell after discard. I unfortunately have two kids with him. Every week a huge drama, threats. He doesn't pay separation maintenance.😔

They are actors. No matter what goes on in their head, they act and have to be Held accountable, as they are fully aware of their damaging and degrading behavior. We excuse them because we see them as somehow sick as we felt their energy and witness their confusion. But they are aware. They just dont care.

It's funny as the timing of this video is so spot on for me just now.. They set traps and see which victims bite the bait. I'm healing well and was expecting it.

I 100% agree that a relationship can last for a LONG time with a narcissist if the supply lets the narcissist have lots of leeway and never questions the narcissist and is always there to supply them with their needs. This happened to me actually. It seemed like my lovebombing stage lasted longer than most people because I met him online and was blind to his true nature and always stroked his ego. It wasn't until I moved to his state when he instantly moved into devaluing me. I moved to his state after we had been dating for 3 years. He acted completely disconnected from me, and showed an utter lack of disinterest in me after I moved there. He only came around to use me and I didn't catch on until after a few times. He future faked a ton with me and would constantly keep cancelling plans last minute that he made with me. His favorite line was "Maybe we could hang later" but he obviously never followed through. What caused him to discard me was me showing displeasure with his behavior for the first time. We planned to meet up at a specific time. 2 hours after he planned to meet up with me he texted me saying "sry. Had to stay late at work. Would you be mad if we don't hang out?" I said "I kind of figured" because I figured that we weren't going to hang out because this became a pattern. He turned everything on me saying he's tired of feeling like the victim. He said he was "so worried and couldn't sleep for nights because I would text him one thing and disappear again." Literally what he was doing to me. When I got distant it was because I got tired of waiting around for him all the time and started to take care of my own life.

Paula , I think your next video should be how the Narcissist Gets Bored Quickly. It really explains them going on moving to source to source. Think about that topic Paula. Stay blessed.

My weird hoover came around a year with a phone call from her new number (she clearly still had my number ) saying “who’s this “ I replied “you called me” I saved the number looked on WhatsApp and it was the crazy narc !!

I’ve found with two narcs that around 3 months after a discard, they’ll hoover.

100%. Hooverd every 3 to 6 months after the first 3 break ups. Then we lasted another for yrs because I left her alone and paid all of her bills.

What I noticed was the hoovering of his friends. He always got in fights with his friends - ALL OF THEM. I always asked the friend what really happened and it was always my ex narc's narcissistic behavior that they ended up in a fight. Of course he always told me it was the other persons fault and told me a lie about what really happened. What I noticed is that he would hoover his ex friend after months of not talking to them. He was not talking with his childhood friend for over a year. Then he told me out of the blue that he texted his ex friend and just sent him a picture of his house he just bought (that's another story!) And told his friend look at the house I just bought. No normal person would text an ex friend with that message especially when you got in a big fight with that person and it's been over a year since you last spoke with them. Any normal person would never do that. It would be so embaressing, but they don't get embaressed. So this to me is hoovering. It's not just an ex spouse. They do it with everyone in their life. Of course the friend ignored his text, but he was testing the friend. He has no friends now - he ruined those relationships too! Pretty much got rid of everyone that was good to him out of his life and he doesn't even care. Only when he decides that he wants them back in their life - but it is only temporary because he discards them again! I've seen this pattern over and over with him. Even with his own sons.

With my female narcissist who cheated and gave me no closure after 5 1/2 months i first became aware of monthly tantrums which did not coincide with her period cycle and lasted longer than a day! It’s good to make notes in your diary of silent treatment spells rages and unqualified criticism over very small grievances by most people’s standards.

I had a good laugh about the folks who did not know about hoovering. They must have really scratched their heads.👍🤣

My narc had me fooled big time. I was aware they can fake stuff and that was what i thought he did. Turned out he really had cancer for a few years.. I took care of him ...let him have his tantrums.....I had seen him fulnerable and thought we really had bonded like never before.. and thought that i was wrong for he wàs ill. Turned out..after his recovery he was his horable self again...treated me like i was nothing...took me for granted. Got me on the brink of despiration and alcoholism.....Calling me names..Smeared my name..But i still was trying to safe the relationship. Blamed it on his medicin his chemo and other factors..his shitty childhood..his adhd. Somebody after 1 year seperation after a 5 year relationship i still think of what could have been... I loved him so much..waisted all this time...Hoping for him to see the light...my value. He made me ill.. so therefor i had to stop the relationship eventually... But he now says that i discarded him! He would have pushed me until i would drop dead...lost my kids and so on...without ever blaming himself...that was my limit. I never got closure. He moved on very quickly ...making me wait for a real conversation for almost a year... that never came... Letting me dangling on...he zand he wants to remain friends...I die not want to be part of his harem-garage. I deleted all memories the other day and cut off everything.. so i will not fall for another hoover. I really hurts and am still not over it totally. I just have to tell myself it was all an ilusion. I wish i Could just turn a switch after all the lies.manipulation.cheating and flirting and emotional infedelity.. .playing the victim all the time...gaslighting and all. Mis desease came in handy... I just don't dare to start a new relationship with someone ever again after this experience. Somehow i still care...still want to know what he is doing and all. We have been thrugh a lot together and it hurts so much to be discarded like i was nothing.... Thanx Paula you are helping me a lot. Sorry for my English but I am Dutch.

The ex-narcissist tried to hoover me after one month of eliminating him from my life... It seems he couldn't groom another target properly and he wasn't prepared for me leaving him... Eastern European summer time zone for giving support... Thx for your videos 💖

This is spot on. I had no contact with mine for over a year and then they hoovered. They’d had new supply straight after me. Anyway, moved in with him and went through hell. My therapist has said he has an actual personality disorder. He loved making me jealous and I started pushing back. I was questioning so much. and standing up for myself that I got discarded brutally.. He kicked out. 7 weeks later he tried to hoover me and I told him where to go. Straight after he has the new supply and him as his profile pic. I’ve fortunately not reacted. I’m carrying on my healing journey.

I agree. The mask began to slip after 14 -15 months after I met her. Things began to change and the insults started. !

Her mask starting falling out first two weeks together. I just didn’t know anything about a narc. Now I’m almost an expert on narcs after spending hundreds of hours research on these demon led folks. After two years, I finally saw what she was. After I broke up with her, she started her procedures to try to Hoover me in a month. I blocked her every way she can contact me. I’m good now, I’ve been out a year. I could care less what she does, even Hoover attempts

Dear Paula! THANK YOU FOR THE WORK YOU DO! I am so grateful to have found your channel. You are a light bearer.

You have really helped me, I have watched most of ur videos and ur always spot on. I really appreciate what u do.

My Ex Narc is an alcoholic and it was impossible for her to maintain the mask from slipping, when she lost her inhibitions, it would lead to narcissistic rage. and my god did the mask slip. she was like a person possessed by the Devil.

My former husband always traveled during our nearly 30 year marriage. So now I see a cycle of abuse in those years. When we were dating and engaged it was long distance. I can see this is how this situation both went on for so long and was so confusing.

I am 4 months from leaving my nex after 27 years and your videos are amazing just to get validation from everything I went through. No one else seems to get it. It is really hard to explain to family and friends without sounding crazy. So I really want to thank you Paula you have helped me so much. 😊

Yes, one year, and again one year. By phone/ text as long distance. I entertained this, partly with hope but also with curiosity! I was getting wise. Both times, I said something wrong and off we went again. When I said something that didn't suit, I got the usual " you are too emotional" , or, " if this is how you're going to react". Gaslighting? At both these points I cut-off..

The reverse Hoover was my ex‘s specialty

Wow I know the time lines can vary but it's unbelievable how these time lines align I was love bombed for 9 months it was like literally he has the same body and face but different soul when the mask fully came off after live bomb... Then he put the mask back on and off during devaluation that went in for a good year at around 18months-2 years of the relationship cane the final discard which was nearly two months ago. Shocking experience.. So glad I found this. 100 %though sure you become so so much stronger after this. I still have his sister reaching out sometimes and the way he has the flying monkeys trained is unbelievable and can see how he became a narcissist on the first place! It seems to me he won't hoover me currently as when I went for closure stupidly after the discard multiple times it was like I was like something in the bottom of his shoe but I'm sure at some stage there will be a hoover much further down the line and I want to be as fully healed as possible to resist any weak temptation or moments. This Channel helps so much.

Great video Paula. I used to think a “hoover” was just the person asking to come back. I thought I’d never been hoovered. Totally wrong! Soon after discard he would turn up at my work for unnecessary meetings with my boss, block my car with his to force me to speak to him, randomly message to ask if the tulips had come up in the garden this year. It wasn’t a coal bucket he wanted to know if I’d got, it was a crow bar! At discard asked me to keep some of his stuff as he had no storage space, then accuse me of keeping it (hilarious story). Random messages telling me about a house in my street up for sale. The list is endless. No contact did the trick but for over a year this carried on. It was bizarre how he kept going! A normal person would just stop!

Your timelines are accurate to my life experience.

Buddy request! Dealing with horrible codependency and what seems like never ending cycles of gaslighting and abuse from a toxic parent(s) ..trying incredibly hard not to fall back into self destruction /isolation/toxic partners. I’d like to help anyone keep their own sanity and perspective in check, and give encouragement plus share our experiences. Thank you 🙏🏼

Am looking for a buddy. 43 days no contact

Yup. Exactly 2 years. For every.... single... victim... he had.

It took 2 of these relationships over a 7 year period and being discarded coldly like I never existed to realise I am a codependent. I’m now in therapy for codependency 3 months and making good progress, but it is a v hard mind set to break free from.

Before I understood any of this I would stay in touch with one family member because we grew up together. No I stay away and don't contact. I learned that me msging them was supply for him and this particular family member is totally loyal to him. I also reached out once when I knew he had been very ill. I suppose he thinks now that I'm still waiting around for him. I don't ever expect a hoover as he is happily living in another state with a supply that has given him lots of $$$. Unless he burns through her cash as quickly as he does his own! It's all so very hard when you never knew people like this existed.

I was hoovered 4 years after

I need a buddy desperately

It was just pointed out to me , I was reminded ; Communication? Narcissists in their world is manipulation , they do not differentiate between communication , and manipulation . I upset quite a few people today , as I pointed out they were looking to a talk show host for spiritual guidance ? How misguided is that? Be like dropping your pet , at the mechanics, then your car off at the vets . This talk show host also relies heavily on experts so called, however if you research their credentials? You discover they are lacking ! We have become endocrinatred into being led by our emotions, and ignoring logic, and reason. They only communicate to manipulate ! We need to stand , as there is no such thing as appeasing away tyranny !

I was hooverd and triangulated with the new supply and I assume he towards me at about 6 months post discard. Love-bombing and future faking while also saying 'I might not be so upset about the ending of our relationship if I just went out and hooked up with someone else' (obviously that's what she had done; and also asking if I was on any dating apps; I'm not but obviously she is). She blamed the break-up on many trivial things (like me having a bad haircut and not having more to do with her extended family (which honestly is mostly comprised of what I now understand as a bunch of catty narcs) but the one that hurt was saying there was a lack of sex (yeah because she was withholding!!??) About a week later I moved my stuff out as we had already been separated for quite some time. I went grey rock (didn't even know what grey rock was) because I sorta didn't believe what she said at the love-bombing because her personality seemed to be way different then it was when we were together (very bizarre to say the least, especially after 14 years and she was sorta acting like we had just met?!). She was even trying to flirt with me and acting compassionate (while I was moving out; again bizarre) while at the same time making demands that anything I didn't want she would not allow me to put her trash can, because it was full,. Went back over there a week after moving out to collect my BBQ (which she 'allowed' me to come back for at a later date) and she invited me in ostensibly to see the dog but really wanted to show me how she had turned my office (the only place in the whole house I was able to keep my things and decorate) into her own personal excersize room (like why would I want to see that?!) and to I suppose get more supply. I inquired again with her about our relationship and if there was any chance at rekindling and she got super irritated, devalued me and brutally discarded me again, saying she wished I would just 'move on' and that we were 'never getting back together'.. That was the last I've spoken to her- I'm at about 6 weeks NC, deleted FB, and removed all tags of us together including engagement photos (which she had captioned "I'd say yes over and over and over again'; rrrrrrright) to which she immediately texted asking why we weren't FB friends anymore; I ignored. Phone number now blocked. It's been rough, a lot of tears, anger, frustration, anguish- all that fun stuff. I bent over backwards for her for 14 years, the last 10 basically being her errand boy and abused in every way left and right. I don't imagine I'll see another hoover anytime soon if at all. Journaling has really helped as well as obviously this RU-vid community.

It’s been almost 4 years since the discard for another woman. She lasted 6 mo and used him for money. He immediately was with another for over a year. He said he was moving out of her house. He did but was back in her bed right away. He tried to Hoover right before it was time to sign our divorce papers. Crying saying he didn’t want it. It was all fake and I figured it out within a couple weeks. He was spending the night with her. I knew about Hoovers and I never fell for it. He’s still with her now. The divorce is over and I’m healed finally finally healed and happy doing my own life. Not dating or looking. Never going back to hell.

I think my ex wanted rid of me after a couple of years but because of my insecurities I'd beg her no, even though she'd stopped any form of intimacy by now. We only managed to live together for 4 months when I left because of her tantrums. I became her chauffeur, id take her shopping for clothes or groceries, id pay. Id bombard her with compliments because I thought I was in love with her. This went on for 13 years. Me always hoping we'd get back to how we were at the start, her probably biding her time to find something better, which is how it ended. I was devastated so would text her, no reply, a month later she blocked me, I wrote a couple of letters and posted them, no reply. I haven't tried to contact her for 3 months and have heard nothing. Its now 5 months.

I did find that they do things in timing patterns it was like I expected it

This is such an eye opener, thank you. Now i understand why my ex hooverd me, the first hoover was on valentines day he unblocked me and texted me he missed me, second time ater i sended him an email that i missed him.

I get it. We say "Don't get your panties in a bind." Knickers is great. Haven't heard that since I was a kid!

Very experienced with the reverse hoover here.

7 years were good we were friends, my only one. Then I felt something missing, but could not figure it out.Mystery!

Hi Paula, I really like your content, especially because you believe in the spiritual aspect like I do. I'm here in Ireland as well and I'm interested in having a buddy; let me know, thanks!

The love bombing and children and building a life seemed to last around 13 to 15 years. She seemed a bit quirky when I met her. Realised that she was on the autism spectrum. But then suddenly devaluation for a couple of years - an obsessive need to devalue me, and also seemingly discard two of the three children. With a discard around the 15th year. It was like a total dissociation ..like she woke up and didnt recognise me or the kids. "Not my problem".

No we fought all the time . He never introduced me in public and never took up for when his women friends would bully me .

Has anyone out there EVER managed to get the narcissist in their life to admit/share the trauma they went through??

Buddy request .. Uk time zone .. finding closure from ex narc.. praying for u all 🙏

When you slow their roll and see them once a week sometimes twice, very structured, never let them sleep over. Use the word “NO”and see them sweat that. Take 3 months until you have seggs; make them take you away to a nice hotel. Then 11:30 you will begin to see them decompensate. They hate to spend money.

If they cruelly discard you, telling all their associates that we are the abusers, how do they have the front to comeback? How do they justify going back to us the abusers to their associates? I think you answered this question toward the end. Thank you.

They also hoover by using fake.names and number's to see how you react, etc....

I think he did this once when I found out about his “friendship” with a Kyrgyz woman half his age; but I thought he was genuinely contrite. Then he progressed on to a woman 35 years younger than him and I’d done lots of counselling so I asked for a divorce…and now he hasn’t spoken to me in any form for two and half years. He’s used the law to silence me and the only communication is through his solicitor…and as I’m representing myself now (the court order is in place and we are divorced) he’s forbidden his solicitor to talk to me. He’s trying to ruin me by insisting on solicitors. It’s complicated but I’m holding fast. He doesn’t seem to, at a distance via IG and our daughters, have devalued them gf yet … but she’s the same age of our daughters and would seem to be narcissistic too. She’s been very clever and they have only been living together for almost two years, she frequently leaves him alone to go and visit her family…but he’s given up his job, is still living in the UAE and he has bought her a huge diamond engagement ring. He’s ignoring our daughters atm and hasn’t told them of his engagement. He won’t hover me again…but I think he’ll use our daughters like this. Until the younger has finished uni she’s reluctant to cut ties with him (he has money and he’s supporting her minimally, but it’s better than nothing.) he’s just walked away from us, his only family, save for a brother with whom he has a limited relationship, and I suspect he’ll try and start again. The age gap is huge … huge … I’ve tried to warn the gf but she isn’t able to hear what I’m saying…he clearly has fed her lies about me…but I can’t help her. Or him for that matter. He is furious with me as the divorce was fair and represented the years of financialAbuse he put me and our daughters through so his own plans have had to change. I’m still sad that my little family is broken…but we could only heal when the boil was lanced. The poison he exuded was killing us all and we’re healing now…

Even if you block them hundreds of times, they’ll just make another account immediately and follow you. Keep working on healing and knowing the truth, and eventually you won’t care because you’ll know their playbook.

Buddy request...would love to give and receive support. Eastern time zone. Thank you in advance.

I left her 4 years ago. Lots of catfishing, strange calls and texts, odd gifts etc. I disappeared. She found out where I was. My mum died this Christmas day .. I posted the notice on a new facebook account of mine .. and lo and behold, 2 weeks later, my ex 'liked' it. And this shows the levels of their insensitivity

My narcissist stole my property and ran off with the next door neighbor! As of 3-16-2024 I'm 88 days no contact. To my neighbor...thanks for taking my trash bro, you 2 deserve each other. Getting stronger every day, thanks Michelle!

Looking back 40 years it’s always been 8 months from discard to Hoover. The last time will be the last time. I didn’t know anything about narcissism until the past 6 months. I’ve filed for divorce. Unfortunately we have 4 kids and 7 grandkids so complete no contact isn’t an option.

do more on this topic, please

❤️❤️❤️you're still helping me a Lot in this terrible situation I brought myself into. I lately got hoovered back for 1,5month. Now starting No contact all over.

Explained incredibly well! Thank you! In the process of being hoovered by flying monkeys…not going to let it happen)

Got hoovered 5 minutes after I discarded him and hasn’t stopped yet and it’s been 3 years till I changed my number. That accelerated the stalking. Even going to court and jail and a protective order hasn’t stopped it. So pitiful.

So true about the Hoover's I see it now!!! And they always have several identities on line I've noticed that all the Narcs I know have different online identities so they always have a eye on you!!!

This was the case with me, I have always been codependent with him I have known him 26 years and was in a relationship with him for 8 years. 2 months ago I had a supernova moment and he discarded me August 22.

That's about right on average. The narc discarded me the first time after 8 mos. Then this time, about 9mos. She forced a reverse discard this time. She started hoovering me consistently after a year. Thus time she began hoovering me months after she left this time. Once in a while, i would get a brief email. future faking about sending for her belongings.

I need a buddy a friend.....NOW PLEASE

Excellent 👌

Binge watching, great info, thank you

They sure do make the most of a 24 hour day!!!!! geez😢

Thanks so much for all you share! Such great insights and so helpful for all who have the wonderful chance to find your channel.. I would like to be paired up with a buddy to share with and encourage one another if you can, when you can match me please let me know. Thanks so much and God bless all here!!!

I just got hoovered tonight...it's been just a week short of a year of the final divorce,,,,and he sent a text (I thought I had blocked his #) asking if some plastic lids he found in his kitchen cupboard were mine...lol! seriously??He sent photo of the lids and they are obviously his from his favorite set of stainless steel bowls he used all the time.ha! Of course I'm not answering his text and I'm blocking his # again. HOOVER.

Yes mask started slipping within 3 to 6 months but after 18 months completely....

I accepted a hoover in 2017, the meeting got much worse by far, mutch wose than the meeting where her mask droped.

I've been hoovered but felt she seem low on supplies or my grade supply maybe unique grade. I known for 10 years but not attracted her but she is persistent. Recently got discarded because I called her out I learn a lot from these videos. I feel a lot better being away I can sleep better and think straight. There just toxic to be around and disordered it's not cool to be with somebody that has intentions to backstab and thrives in chaos and destruction internally.

Buddy request. U.k. struggling to make sense of everything 😔

Forty five years knowing him, 35 years married, 4 years divorced, i am convinced he will NOT hoover me. He had such contempt for me in the end. Even if he did, I'm done with him. Not worth any effort even being friends

"Reconquista " = hoover. Great video 📹 👍 👏 Narc Con.

Here's one for you. I married a Narcissist and was discarded 2 years later. I married again sad to say another Narcissist. She was contacted by my first wife told my present wife I was a Narcissist and an abuser. The story gets more bizarre! My first wife sponsored me to Canada. I stayed in Canada after the discard. My second wife was from Canada and I Sponsored her to the states. Here's where it gets even weirder. My first wife remarried and was sponsored to the US where I think he divorced her. About this time my first wife contacts my second wife about me being a Narcissist. Few months later my second wife discards me. Am I due for a hoover from my first wife? Will this be a Narcissist cat fight over me? You got to laugh!

Exactly those timelines...2 years before being discarded

I left my ex in August. The first hoover occured in November begging for closure. I did reply politely, explained in short words that I dont want to have any more contact. The next hoover came in April. I guess his new realtionship ended after these critical 6 months. I dont react anymore.

We don't know what situation they are in.

While i was with my ex husband my father died,he never went to the funeral because he said he had a big job on,his work always came first,yet 35 years later after i divorced him my mother died and him and his narcissitic sister turned up at her funeral,so when I needed him he never went and when i was done with him he appeared,everyone said how nice it was off him,I knew better and totally ignored him.

Hi guys, I am definitely looking for a buddy. This healing process is kicking my butt! Please leave a comment back if you are looking for a buddy, too!

O never knew iwas with a narc until 2 weeks ago

My covert narc mother hoovered a year and 6 months after I went no contact.

I only feel that my ex is very very very angry with me since he left me. Because what I ‘have done to him’, before and more specific during the stages of divorcing him. He wanted the divorce by the way, to go and live with his new love. But he was so extremely furious in the end. Raging and mean. And although he wouldn’t admit this, said he wanted to stay friends, I really sensed this. So I am 100% sure he will never ever wants to see me again. No hoover in my case. It is 1,5 years after discard now, never heard from him again. Anyone who experienced the same?

Mine never came back, no worries here

Hi, Paula. I never, ever want to hear from him ever again. I hope he never hoovers me. The thought of it literally makes me sick. I've been seven months no contact. In fact, I'm sorry I ever met that weirdo. I found out how disgusting he really was after the discard. Had I known, I never would have given him a chance. I dislike liars, but I completely abhor a cheat.