When "Yes" Means "No", the Truth about Consent | Joyce Short | TEDxYouth@UrsulineAcademy

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Sexual assault happens, on average, every 96 seconds, and you can help change that. In her raw, ground breaking talk, Ms. Short, an author and sexual assault survivor, suggests new laws against sexual assault that can reshape our moral reasoning, address the problems the #MeToo and #TimesUp movements raised, and make the world a safer place.
Joyce Short is the author of Carnal Abuse by Deceit, and Combating Romance Scams, Why Lying to Get Laid Is a Crime! Her personal experiences with sexual assault launched her on a path to raise awareness and seek legislative solutions. She advocates for victims of all types of sexual assaults, helping them seek justice and recover their dignity. She was awarded a “Woman of Distinction” honor by The NY State Assembly in 2017 and has numerous media credentials. Her webpage, www.ConsentAwareness.net, helped a federal prosecutor convict a serial rapist with 30+ victims. This talk was given at a TEDx event using the TED conference format but independently organized by a local community. Learn more at www.ted.com/tedx

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27 май 2024

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Комментарии : 100

@mireilleronhaar5487 3 года назад

Consent = ❤️ Freely Given Knowledgeable Informed Agreement ❤️

@pineappleonpizza8128 2 года назад

6:50 Mad, MAD respect for this woman. The amount of bravery it takes to openly admit that in front of hundreds of audiences, even thousands online. I know victim should never feel ashamed, but still... imagine all the nights she cried herself to sleep, the weight she carried with her throughout her teenage years, decades spent for her to come to terms with all that's happened. I wish nothing but the best life ahead of her.

@NaNa-re3wc 7 месяцев назад

It’s sad this video was half a decade ago and many people (largely men) still can’t understand or respect the basic concept of consent. It’s so easy to blame yourself when society blames you or when it wasn’t a violent assault. I love the knowledge and power this woman is spreading.

@clubenigma2001 3 года назад

PERIODT SHE SAID WHAT SHE SAID AND WHAT NEEDED TO BE SAID!

@jshir17 4 года назад

*As a Disabled person who was put through compliance training, my yes meant no because I didn’t know how to say no*

@consentawarenessnetwork9901 4 года назад

So sorry this happened to you! Wishing you strength and recovery!

@consuelamarieallen7270 3 года назад

I can relate. Blessings to you...💓💗💝

@lotuswolf1518 3 года назад

I am autistic I was manipulated and lied to and molested and used

@Epic-so3ek 7 месяцев назад

@@lotuswolf1518 I'm so sorry that's terrible. I'm also autistic and may have been molested as a child, also was definetly manipulated by other children a lot. I hope you heal assuming you haven't healed already :)

@jonathanwellington9565 Год назад

Lots of respect!!!!!!!!!!!!!! What a great woman, what a strong human being!

@joyceshort6883 Год назад

Thank you so much Jonathan! I sincerely appreciate your support!

@sharifeekes9069 11 месяцев назад

So many men consider women their prey. We have got to get laws in place that will prosecute these men to the extent that they deserve!!

@rachelcastillo9035 Год назад

Justice is healing and validating.

@joyceshort6883 Год назад

100%! Thanks for your support!

@SherLizz 5 лет назад

She's so right.

@judithbuck4869 5 лет назад

Joyce Short should be teaching a course! At age 78, I learned a great deal, beautifully expressed through well-researched facts, legal insights, personal experience, and Ms. Short's very smart, elegant solutions to a problem that has finally burst into this country's collective consciousness. This is a highly valuable talk that should be shared.

@jennalawlor5040 3 года назад

This definition is so spot on! Everyone talk to your legislators, we need this!! Thank you for sharing your story and being part of the solution to help so many people, Joyce.

@IrenaDeacon 3 года назад

I agree 100% I'm glad we are tackling on this issue. Important issue

@rileymaestro 3 года назад

I learned more from this than I ever have from a counsellor!!!!!!!! I owe this person……

@christinafleury2985 Год назад

Incredible talk! I never realized what an issue this was in the legal system. Thank you for your testimony!

@DaRyteJuan 8 месяцев назад

As a man more than 15 years older than my (former) FEMALE doctor, MARRIED with four children, beautiful, she SA’d me under the guise of a regular physical. After MONTHS of grappling with what took place, tossing and turning OVER and OVER whether or not to report it, I finally got enough confirmations that reporting to the police was the correct course of action. The first officer who showed up was female. She had NO sympathy for me whatsoever. She asked me if I resisted or spoke up. I told her I froze. She looked at me in disbelief. I asked her, “In all your investigations, don’t find victims who froze (rather than resisted)?” She said, “RARELY.” 🤦‍♂️ I asked for a supervisor to come out (who was male). He said, I had not been SA’d and that I should have known I was going to have my genitalia examined. NO, I did not. And I never agreed to it. This doctor had only been able to lure me to this physical because she was dangling my prescription for the mind-altering drug, Prozac she had started me on two years earlier. I fell perfectly into her trap.

@Itsactuallyvick Год назад

Justice Heals!!!

@JakeVoorhees 5 лет назад

This is why we do what we do as TEDx organizers :) to feature awesome speakers like you Joyce who are working on changing the world. Keep up the great efforts Joyce!!!

@4444moore 2 года назад

Joyce you are a beautiful soul and so so brave. Much love. You have taught me so much

@PhinaLuv 2 года назад

This was POWERFUL! I needed this.

@ariascrismali8343 Год назад

This was very informative and well said. Thank you for sharing

@jr-gh6eo 4 года назад

Thank you for bringing knowledge, experience, clarity, and empowerment to this and all future stages on which you speak.

@JereeAnderson 5 лет назад

Great video. So powerful and informative. You could do classes on this. In most cases, laws sadly do shape morality and you used two great examples from the past. We need new laws. We need more people that care like Joyce Short as well. You have my full support in making this change effective. Thank you. 🙏🏾♥️

@winnhenderson7414 6 лет назад

I totally agree. We need new laws! Keep up the good work Joice

@mba2ceo 5 лет назад

100% agree we need laws to legally beat feminists !!!

@cami7026 2 года назад

@@mba2ceo what do you think feminists are?

@amamuffin Год назад

Go Joyce!!!

@duwayneengram9483 2 года назад

This was fantastic!

@ericrobert7089 3 года назад

Amazing talk. Thank you Joyce.

@michellemallon6765 5 лет назад

ExellecentTED talk about a very import issue. Thank you Joyce!

@ErutaniaRose 2 года назад

Coercion and the freeze response are things the law doesn’t notice. Not like they really care anyways.

@janebruce-munro4764 5 лет назад

What a great talk by survivor, author, and poet Joyce Short! Our whole country needs this information right now -- days after Dr. Christine Blasey Ford courageously described her assault.

@jonathanwellington9565 Год назад

Excellent video and much needed nowadays. At risk of derailing the discussion, let me just point out that "fighting for *our* country" outside one's country (sic Vietnam) is a statement that only makes sense in America...

@TracyAMalone 6 лет назад

This is a powerful video with very important information. Thank you Joyce Short for sharing this information. GREAT VIDEO

@katerynadiachenko4151 2 года назад

I froze too. Thanks for the talk ❤🙏

@christinelouisdecanonville9462 5 лет назад

Such an informative video, thank you Joyce for all your pioneering work.

@krystylsummers8749 2 года назад

Daughters are royalty.

@simonzhang3852 3 года назад

Joyce Short is the director of the NYJTL site I play at! YEE-HAW! NICE SPEECH

@Roderykz 5 лет назад

This is really nice, i could not agree more on this definition of consent,. Educate people could make such a difference... Good work.

@JoyceMShort 5 лет назад

Thanks for your support!

@catharinakopetschek6204 Год назад

Thank you

@joyceshort6883 Год назад

You're most welcome!

@lydianichols204 4 года назад

An informative talk on a crucially important topic. Thanks, Joyce!

@bubblegum472 3 года назад

“Use your voice to uphold the right to free choice”

@lelakaramela377 3 года назад

Wait school should teach this

@swedishdissident3406 6 месяцев назад

If the act is committed in a house or room that is on state lines which law applies. This sort of thing that is fundemental to human rights should be under federal law.

@joyceshort6883 2 месяца назад

Agreed! The human right of consent should be a civil right backed by federal law! Regarding your jurisdiction question.... Technically, territory is territory and a prosecutor would know if the activity violated the laws in their jurisdiction and would pursue the case accordingly. I was, in fact, called-in on a case that was determined by what jurisdiction felt it violated their laws. In one location, about a mile and a half from the other, it did not. In the other jurisdiction, It did. The man was tried and convicted of the offense in the second jurisdiction.

@anointedcherubim5930 Год назад

😢

@alexanderangelo7284 3 года назад

Laws don't shape our morality...it's the other way around.

@joyceshort6883 3 года назад

So I guess abolition laws didn't change the morals of an entire culture.

@alexanderangelo7284 3 года назад

@@joyceshort6883 Not sure which abolition you are referring to. I'm assuming slavery. The abolition of slavery was the result of social and political change that was cemented by the 13th Amendment.

@TheHollandHS 2 года назад

I am diagnosed with autism . My life will be screwed with this if things won't get clear.

@PinkYellowGreen2023 Год назад

Instead of dancing around the issue call it a lack of respect for humans. No civilized person has to discuss consent when they operate from a perspective of respect.

@joyceshort6883 Год назад

100% But in order to hold offenders accountable under the law, we need the definition for consent to be clear under the law.

@laurareilly6699 2 года назад

xxxxxxxxx

@krystylsummers8749 2 года назад

I am lost

@splinterbyrd 4 года назад

I've always thought feminists should change the chant to "yes means *maybe* but no means no."

@consentawarenessnetwork9901 4 года назад

How 'bout "Yes means yes when you haven't forced, coerced or tricked me into saying yes! And you know whether or not you have, even though I may not know it at the time."

@splinterbyrd 4 года назад

@@consentawarenessnetwork9901 "Yes means maybe" means I may say yes now but I'm free to change my mind later on.

@marie-ange3965 3 года назад

How about teaching men to not be rapists. Then yes can actually mean yes.

@lotuswolf1518 3 года назад

@@consentawarenessnetwork9901 yes I was molested by my ex boyfriend didn't even realise it was consent thorough manipulation coercion , I hate my life, was molested in 2016 and didn't tell police till and never will

@splinterbyrd 2 года назад

@@lotuswolf1518 😥❤

@Suchen_Wahrheit 2 года назад

Man should ask for consent as long as women take accountability to their actions.

@goofybutserious4807 2 года назад

"Withdrawing Consent" You can't do both

@jp929rr1 3 года назад

She is projecting modern morality to the 60s and Roman Empire...

@sophia-marieyoung6773 Год назад

No, she was using that as a historical example of why the exact same behavior is illegal in certain places and legal when you cross an imaginary line.

@johnnyutah4584 3 года назад

Hey! It’s 2021! And here is the new thing. Women don’t lie and personal responsibility is irrelevant!

@consentawarenessnetwork9901 3 года назад

Laws are gender neutral. They apply to both men and women. And personal responsibility? Securing agreement, without using malice such as force, fear or fraud, is everyone's personal responsibility, whether male or female.

@justthefacts7414 3 года назад

Exactly! Women don't take responsibility anymore. It's all on the man. These people have reduced consent to the extreme of absurdity. You're going to need consent lawyers to convince a judge to legally grant consent before you actually do it. Feminists actually make me miss the Puritans and tradcons. Not even they were ever that strict.

@consentawarenessnetwork9901 2 года назад

@@justthefacts7414 It is the responsibility of the inducer, regardless of their gender, to influence the decision making process without using malicious influence such as force, fear or fraud. In case you don't get how that works, whether or not a person consents depends on INFLUENCE, regardless of what gender the person is who is doing the influencing.

@insomniac818 2 года назад

@@consentawarenessnetwork9901 Time for double Jeopardy Question: Do make-ups, plastic surgery, and other forms of beauty deception fall under that umbrella term of fraud?

@shuc3032 Год назад

@@insomniac818 crickets 😂🤣🤣.

@krystylsummers8749 2 года назад

Now that's the Muslim religion not Roman

@taunoctua245 4 года назад

The US needs universal gender segregation in schools. From Grade school to Undergraduate. Post-Grad should be the start of co-ed.

@Johenz 4 года назад

You can't do that.

@Mischa21xo Год назад

If you are actually being serious about this, then you are actually out of your mind...wow

@peterj.andros3996 5 лет назад

HERE IS EVERY REASON FOR MEN TO AVOID CONTACT WITH WOMEN IN MODERN SOCIETY. HAIR SPLITTING LANGUAGE TO DEFINE STANDARDIZED HUMAN BEHAVIOR. THIS WOMAN HAS BUILT A CAREER ON A PERSONAL OBSESSION. MORE LEGALIZE NONSENSE REGARDING PERSONAL, EMOTIONAL CHOICES. TAKE NOTE THAT THIS WOMAN'S FOCUS IS ALWAYS ON MEN/WOMEN AND NEVER ON WOMEN/WOMEN.

@jr-gh6eo 4 года назад

Any man who thinks like you do can permanently remove hisself from interacting with women and absolutely nothing of value would be lost.

@toddreynolds6522 4 года назад

@@jr-gh6eo happily obliged to not have long term relationships or marriages. MTGOW is the answer. Free spirit and no burden of a woman to carry.

@_ttwa_ 4 года назад

This is not true, I'm also working with her to define consent in laws of my region, she reviewed them and noticed that the laws do not protect men from assault. She's doing something to ensure that the things that happened to her to not happen to others, what are you doing?

@salt_factory7566 3 года назад

I’m not an incel my internet friends called me King *see?*

@1tallasianchick 3 года назад

Ohhh boy....well fast forward to yesterday when Assembly member Rebecca Seawright introduced Bill A6540 to define consent, applying the language that Joyce has researched and written. No, She didn’t reinvent the wheel but she did what no law has done; A clear definition that puts and end to victim blaming and puts the responsibility on the offender. This protects ALL people: all genders, all races and all ages. It protects your whole self just as your property is protected by laws. Ya, she may speak of female survivors most, perhaps because of her own experience and perspective or perhaps statistics - but her language protects all. Peter touched on building a career on obsession....? Isn’t that what we all do? Pursue a career doing what we know and love most? And Why all the caps, Peter? Why so angry? I have some theories .....🤔

@Google_Censored_Commenter 3 года назад

Nothing new was said. Nothing was contributed. Everything is already on the books. Next video.

@consentawarenessnetwork9901 3 года назад

Did you notice the date? The actual definition for consent and the deficiencies in our laws was not on anyone's radar screen when this video was made. Loads of folks have copied my messaging. Copying is the highest form of flattery! Happy to get the word out there to society and watch the message gain traction!