The hardest thing for ppl to let go of is their pain. It is the deepest, most solid and dense sense of identity. Who would I be, what could I possibly be, without it?
I would agree. It is a very illusory dense object, which has been with us for so long, that we sense it is a fundemntal part of us. Even the awareness of suffering being illusory, is not suffient to prevent its rising and seeming pain. The only way to stop this pain, is to transcend and transmute the subject ego I. Even the awareness and knowing of the illusion of a mirage in the dessert, does not in itself destroy the mirage. It remains whatever we know of its illusory nature. But knowing something is an illusion, drives us deeper into the subject who percieves this illusion. To whom does this illusion appear is the question. And without that subject, there is neither the knowldge of illusion nor of the mirage. The ego (subject) needs to return from whence it came. Resolved back into the self drom where it manifested.
I am a practising stoic and some of what Rupert Spira's says here echoes Marcus Aurelius's: “If you are distressed by anything external, the pain is not due to the thing itself but to your own estimate of it; which you can revoke at any moment.” In my opinion, non duality is good for creating that space of awareness between hurts on your identity and your true self.
Thank you 🙏🏼 From a stoic perspective, Can you please tell us how we can avoid suffering tuning and feeling hurt when exposed to blatant abuse, be it emotional, verbal, psychological.. thank you
@@InesAzaiez The Stoics don't grasp non-duality, but can be useful for managing the dynamics of the "thoughts, feelings, sensations and perceptions" of the separate self in a "self-help" psychological kind of way. Keep in mind, they think the separate self is the actual self, and they are responding and teaching within that context and set of assumptions.
@@insalubriousdithyramb1742it is a constant state of awareness that picks the pace .. it gets easier! Been at it for 20 years and only after understanding ruperts teachings.. was i able to realise how actually easy it is.. keep going! ❤ 😊
I love Ruperts teachings and resonate with them very much but I feel like it can lead people to emotional avoidance and escapism. Yes, it is correct that our true self is pure awareness. But it is also true that for the time being we are bodies with feelings and emotions and those emotions need to be felt and processed and worked through. You can’t just deny that things affect you because of your intellectual knowing that you are not your body.
this is exactly what i worry about when i hear teachings like this. understanding that we are awareness itself and awareness can’t be hurt does acknowledge trauma. the promise that the hurt collapses when we realize the self that is hurt is an illusion is absurd. it can happen for sure, but when there is trauma, it lives in the body. so a realization with the mind may not have any immediate affect in the body, on the nervous system.
Yes you can’t deny the hurt but bringing awareness to it helps process it in a different and more efficient way. Otherwise you will keep accumulating feelings of hurt and inadequacy. It is not about emotional avoidance or denial… quite the opposite: it’s about facing your emotions and not becoming o victim of them
Idk.. for me, time heals all wounds. Having a go with the human experience for us spiritual beings, is not easy but we knew this before coming to earth. Having to deal with all emotions, good and bad.
I agree, sounds like spiritual bypassing or non-dual gymnastics to me, or could easily move people in that direction. It's enough to be with or surrender to the feelings, however long it takes. In time the energy will release and a natural spaciousness and relaxation will return, which you might call presence, awareness, no-self etc. In other words, feel your triggers and reactions, and when some calm has been restored you can respond, if needed. Also I think 15 mins is a bit optimistic when deep wounds, traumas, heartbreak etc have been activated.
There's something even beyond this, when the hurt isn't met by any understanding of it's illusory nature and dissolved. When there is no longer a need to play goal tender in ones experience. The hurt can be there unobstructed as the only one that would need to see through or could ever see the hurt as an undesirable part of the illusion, is a subtle sense of a separate self. When the existence of anything at all is revealed to be illusion, there is never again a cherry picking of desirable and undesirable parts of the illusion. Hurt is necessary as the sun and grass and potato bugs, and only and ego would trick themselves into thinking trying to see through it is the highest expression of truth. It's not even half way.
Interesting 🤨 it’s a moral philosophy that’s wrapped up in a lifetime of spiritual teachings on compassion. That when going through a cancer journey we believe we deserve compassion so when I instead of that , one gets attacked , bullied , insulted and treated with judgment doesn’t make it easy to just let go .
in the video he did say something about addressing the situation after looking within to see "who is it that is hurt?", but he didn't elaborate on how one would address the imagined insult or verbal attack (after realizing that there was no one who could be attacked?) ..... I kind of Get it on one level , but on another level I don't..... in the same way that I can have beautiful glimpses of the Self in meditation, or sitting in Nature, but then go to my job and some dumb situation happens with people who believe 100% that they're just the ego, and my beautiful glimpses of Oneness have now flown out the window, LOL
In the midst of (especially heated) emotions, this is so initially difficult to do. But, with continued >deliberate< practice, it does become easier and easier. Hopefully, one day, it becomes second nature; practice does make perfect.
Sometimes I am aware that its hurting and become conscious that I am exploring the hurt but it still continues to hurt. There is no other way to release the hurt but to simply acknowlede that its hurting....real bad and just stay with it. I don't find I but it feels better.
When it continuous to hurt that still some left overs of resistance keep going back to your source. You are doing a good job by acknowledging it and bring to the light, so it can be exposed. It’s your ego that you exposing and it hates that! he’ll vanish! 💚
Thank you, Rupert! This is so helpful! To know the one who feels the 'hurt', is Not There. Doesn't exist. This is my intellectual grasp, I know, but as the time progresses, I am more aware of this knowing. I feel the freedom from the story... stories. And the video of dissolution & death, I got the knowing of how to get to awareness... By stopping at, I AM AWARE. And not focussing on that which I was believing. So, between the, I Am Aware, & The self in which the 'hurt' arises, does not exist... And the hurt I grabbed onto, collapses... Is magical. I may not be making sense here but that's ok, cause, I feel a shift, happening for me, now. Thank you. Someday, I would like to attend a live seminar with you. Namaste, Alamar
The Presence/Self is only one so if others hurt me it means I hurt myself to remember me when some wrong belives/patterns thinking are in my mind. It is a cleaning process and a sign that our inner self wants to shine through us. Thank you.❤️🙏
These are great tools to remember, but also, as a creative writer, not feeling hurt is a real killjoy for creating! LOL (Imagine if Van Gogh had become aware? NO ART ;)
I had that question myself a lot of times. Some of the greatest pieces of music or poetry would have never been written if there were no emotional turmoil. But on the other hand being hurt is no fun either. You can create great art but whats the point if it drives you to madness and strips you of your own happiness. I dont think awareness robs you of your creativity but even if it did, I would gladly trade creativity for awareness. Been carrying a lot of stuff for too long. And I'm really tired of it.
@@insalubriousdithyramb1742 I like your statement "...I would gladly trade creativity for awareness"; I feel the same way. I've heard that a lot of people who are bipolar don't take their meds because they feel it makes them less creative.....peace of mind seems like the more valuable "commodity", although I don't feel that one has to be had at the expense of the other.....
@@lunkerjunkie escape what? You are here, too. You are experiencing the POV of your life daily. Are you implying you don't feel anything anymore? How is that good?
@@DioHard escape the attention, resting attention on the felt sense allows the felt sense to be a conscious part of our experience. if the felt sense is very painful or fearful or stressful, our urge is to escape the sensation. feeling nothing is not an experience I'm having. that was your idea.
I can't imagine how reactive I were before embarking on spiritual path, but after hundreds of meditations and teachings of numerous teachers more especially Rupert .... every time am provoked I intermittently get emotional hurt and it collapses immediately and am like what a Lier (separate self?) Was. Today my order for the happiness you are seeking.... has been placed. I cant wait to land in my LAPS. Thank you Mystic Rupert
So if you can do this for the feeling of hurt, couldn’t you do the same for the feeling of love? This is where all of this messes with me. You shouldn’t be picking and choosing what you perceive as negative or positive. Why wouldn’t we all just go to Kathmandu and sit on a pillow for eternity?
If I remember correctly, Rupert says that love, peace and joy are not really feelings but simply your true nature. Negative feelings are experienced when we are identified with thoughts that are out of alignment with our true nature - which is peace, love and joy. Practicing the process he recommends in the video or practicing abiding in pure awareness, which is who we are, helps us to let go of our identification/attachment to the thoughts that are causing the negative feelings. With enough practice, this enables for love, peace and joy to be experienced. Love, peace and joy are not caused by thoughts. They are our true nature which is revealed/uncovered when we release/remove whatever is obscuring our nature from being consciously experienced by us. Meditation helps us to let go of/release whatever is obscuring the experience of peace, love and joy. Intending to be grateful or appreciative helps us to let go of obscurations and align with peace, love and joy. Doing whatever we love to do, feel passionate about, helps us to let go of obscurations and align with our true nature.
@@brianlittrell797 I don't know how anyone could ever say that thoughts cannot cause peace and joy? I guess I speak only for myself that when I think of a gorgeous mountain side I have experienced before and remembering the view, I experience peace AND joy. I can even experience joy when I catch my ego thinking ridicolous things and revealing it to my awareness. I can experience love by thinking of my extremely loving friends and family. I can even experience love when I am not home and think of my cats.
One way to look at it is that peace, love and joy always IS, right NOW. Nothing causes or creates our true nature - which is peace, joy and love. Because our divine nature always IS - at all times. But certain thoughts and actions can create/cause THE EXPERIENCE of peace, joy and love. And certain thoughts and actions can BLOCK the experience of peace, love and joy. Our True Nature is ALWAYS RADIATING STRONGLY within us and all around us at great intensity. But are our thoughts OR a quiet, still mind ALLOWING the experience of peace, love and joy to be experienced/felt by us in our physical, emotional and energetic bodies? Are we allowing the energy of our Soul/Divine Self to fully shine through into every part of our consciousness and being unimpeded by blocks and obstructions? So thoughts can create/allow THE EXPERIENCE of our true nature, BUT they do not create our true nature itself. They either allow/align or they block/deny/obstruct our Divine Essence being experienced/felt. A quiet, still mind also allows our nature to be experienced too. I can tell you're a pretty awesome person by the way.@@DioHard
Separate self is a psychological defense mechanism. Human psyche is fragile and delicate, we don't even understand how much. Separate self is a human thing. Only humans dream of being someone, their immortality and ascention to "higher realms" as far as it possibly gets. Animals don't, even though they also have a capacity to think. I have never seen a cow meditate, contemplate and bow down to a tree or a stone in her superstitious fear of everlasting pain. One could say, hurt is there for awareness of 'what's it like to be human', doused in pain and fear of it. It is a human thing and it too shall pass
This title is a bit misleading. He’s talking about words, which are far easier to deal with than childhood trauma and the consequences which tend to be heavier than the actual incident(s). If I could afford 2k to go and sit on one of his luxury retreats for a week I would grill him incessantly about this. I like Rupert, he talks a lot of good stuff but one can tell he’s had a pleasant and privileged life which is far from the case for the people who need help and relief realising the Supreme Reality the most, and yes I do believe in it but it’s not that easy when you’re suffering from trauma and can’t think straight most of the time. So do us a favour Rupert, go out into the world and make your teachings free. You seem like you can afford it. Sent with respect.
The truth is, you don't know about his life. In fact, a lot of spiritual teachers have had it pretty rough. Suffering can be a huge catalyst for self realization. About trauma: yes, some energies stay lodged in the body for longer, and take more work to dissipate. Yet the process is still the same described in the video: going back to that which is aware of the energy, thereby dissolving it. In other words, letting go.
I forgot to add that he holds weekly online seminars which you can attend for 100 euros, or for free if someone else wants to pay for you. Not to mention the hundreds and hundreds of free videos on youtube.
"...It is not the words that are hurtful it is your response, but the words that cause the hurt.." This is clearly a contradiction. Either it is the words that have a causal role in hurting or they don't.
Ego is the only one hurt, right? And ego is just an illusion. Am I right? So when you understand ego doesn't really exists then nobody is hurt, cause you are the Knowingness. That's it.
hurt is a feltsense I claim ownership of to define who I believe myself to be. I believe hurt is who I am. "I am hurt" it's mine, I don't want to give it up. but when I see this within myself the fallacy becomes obvious. even so, I persist in claiming ownership to avoid the UN known.
What happens if you do address it on behalf of the objective truth but the other person is still seemingly doing it based on their ego or just refuses to dance? I'm not talking about hurt specifically, I'm talking about relationships like employer/employee relationships. There is no personal vested interest but yet the right thing to do is to help others and not everyone wants to help others. So even if you can transcend the ego, it doesn't mean others will. There's nothing one can do I guess, since you can't control other people but this leads to consequences for everyone.
This is when non-duality becomes a belief system and you apply it inappropriately. What would you say to a friend or a child who is hurting? On whose behalf are you hurting? Can you find the one who is hurting? I don't think so. It's putting the cart before the horse.
Yes, it can become a belief. However, I am fairly convinced that is not the path Rupert is suggesting. You shouldn't just mechanically tell yourself "There is no one to feel hurt", you should actually do the investigation, which means getting in the nit and grit of the raw sensations in the body. Otherwise it's simply another exercise in self deception. I understand how this doesn't get across very well in the video - there's probably some cuts - plus he has and still talks extensively about how to release intense emotions lodged in the body. Simiilarly, there is now way you would be telling someone else "There's no one to feel hurt" (with the intent of getting yourself of out trouble) if you actually recognized and understood the true nature of yourself. The only instance in which I see that possibility is if the words would be used as pointers to help someone who 1. has not been hurt by you (altough I can imagine some exceptions) 2. shares a similar understanding or is themselves on the path. I hope this makes sense.
Can someone explain please why does the pain/hurt emerges, if the self (on whose behalf this hurt emerges) is not there? And how do we stop the hurt/suffering from arising? Thank you
Same! That is the very question. I am not even asking for it to make sense, I just feel like there is a big gaping hole in that line of thinking. It implies that the hurt which arises is there in order to create a self.
That's the point: you believe there can't be thoughts and feeling without a self out of which they arise. The mind takes thoughts and feelings and makes up this illusory self, creating the sense of personal identity.
See I have done this process and it seem it leads into another kind of hurt. I'm not referring to the general issues of life. I mean the one we're we feel alone in the sense that when we realize that all of creation is self and so in the back of mind I know that all is self and so in that all that I am aware of in some form or another I control or influence which means that what the heart desires to experience it can not becouse it would not be complet free will of another. Even yes each of the selves have their experience and together create the collective we are still creating our own in which we seem to actually be the higher self because this is were we hold our awareness or at lest the only one we remember because in sleep I remember them all and it seems shorter which is a good thing most times. Yet with all the knowledge we have I have not yet found a way or have learned of anyone else a knowledging the issue of no two creations can truly communicate accurately with oneanother. Due to the receiver having to interpret the information it has received based on our experiences which are indigenous to the individual and no 2 can ever be the same hence why reality is indigenous to individual under the same process which leads me to the question are we nothing more than say BIO/AI becoming aware of it's self? If all is about receiving and sending then that would make the I nature's new babies because life (what ever that is) always finds a way. Wow wouldn't that change the entire paradigm.