When your partner doesn’t accept your children 

This is my perspective based on issues many people have when they’re trying to build and maintain a positive family environment for all parties. Many people have family therapy or couples therapy because of this issue. It’s not about ‘forcing’ anything but the reality is, who wants to live in a household where there’s constant tension or a person feels stuck in the middle? It might not make sense to you but it’s a real issue for many people and as you can see from the views, a lot of people are interested in hearing more about this topic. Thank you for taking time to leave a comment.

@@mariancounsellor why would there be tension just because two human beings don't connect in that way? Perhaps they are cordial and that is quite ok. What you're talking about is building a loving family relationship and that might not be what all parties want. That is what YOU would want, that's my point. No THERAPY needed for an ADULT and a child who just do not connect. If they don't then what you're doing is forcing them to. So after therapy then what? What's the purpose of therapy? To change your partner's mind? Why not just respect their choice? Why fault your partner for your child's parental disconnection? Are you taking your child to therapy aswell? Your child is not wrong and neither is your partner. Respect their emotional stability and choices! Its obvious that you are the only unstable one who require everyone around you to have some special connection just so that you can feel a certain way.

@@LMartin242 right

I agree. I think a lot of single parents put too much burden on new partners. They want their partner to treat the kids as their own when it comes to sharing responsibilities but then to back off when it’s time to make decisions for the kids and discipline them. That makes no sense. They should just handle the responsibilities with the other parent and leave the partner out of it. It’s okay to ask for some occasional assistance from a partner but you should not expect them to take on responsibility for someone else’s kids. It’s unfair and unrealistic. The partner just needs to be cordial and respectful when the kids are around them but they shouldn’t have any responsibilities for the kids put on them. Many single parents dating are not looking for a partner but for help with their parental responsibilities. They are the types usually shouting “my kids come first” to let you know you will be taking on their kids too. Such people need to remain single and just focus on raising their kids until they are grown & self sufficient. Single parents should only get into a relationship if they are not going to put the burden of raising their kids on a new partner.

@@misscamara12 This is my favorite comment so far!!!

You’re welcome and I’m glad you found it helpful. It’s definitely a complicated situation sometimes but it sounds like you’ve done a great job as a mother. Your partner may experience different feelings at different times but he has made a statement that he wants to get to know them and they’ve also made positive statements so that’s a good start. All my best to you 💕

Hi Adrie, I'm in the same boat...My gf after two years tells me that she can't do me and my 2 kids (9,13) because my ex is in the picture with a 50/50 custody...She says I spoil my kids too much and she says that I consider her and her two kids (6,10) as a second family which I don't...I love her kids and her kids love me...But she really never made an attempt to be part of mine...So I've been divided on trying to please both...She said them or us...I didn't like to choose but I chose my kids, undeniably of course...But she broke my heart because I gave her my trust and my love...I don't know what to do...I'm still hurting that it had to come to this end.

@@wolfxman69 So she wants you to love her kids , but she won’t except yours. I would drop her in a heartbeat. She’s selfish and unrealistic. She probably wants a man with no kids , so he can take on the role of her kids daddy .

This just happened too me I have 1 child and he broke my heart he want me without he would tell me he wish he could go five years back and meet me again

@@2lovebeyondwords lol

Wow, even though you have children together and she has her own children, she still can’t accept your children? That’s really sad and yes, sometimes people should just be honest so that it doesn’t waste anyone’s time.

Sorry to hear about your situation. It can be really emotional damaging to a child when an adult who is in their life intentionally excludes them or doesn’t accept them. Why did he choose to date someone with children if he isn’t able to accept them? It’s a sad situation because if you feel there’s no hope of change, eventually you might have to end up making a choice. Your children are part of the package so what does he expect from you? Have you asked him that or considered family therapy?

@Marian Hanson Counselling Service thank you. My mom passed away 2 years ago, and I needed to hear this 🙏

It’s more common than you think and it’s biological. It’s very hard to love someone who has children by another person.

​@@aprilc5239and you allow him to do that?

Rightfully so. It’s not his kid so you can’t expect him to do that. He already needs to accept that he’s not first place. Your kid come first but not in his life, and you need to be mature enough to understand that part.

It can be as simple as that but when there’s emotions involved, it’s not that simple for some people.

Sounds easier said than done

That’s really sad to hear but not uncommon unfortunately. Have you considered trying to reconnect and rebuild your relationship with your father in spite of his partner being in his life? He will be your father forever.

@@mariancounsellor I have tried very hard. It seemed like there might be some relationship after the birth of my son, but unfortunately it did not work out. His wife had a really hard time particularly at my son’s christening. She made a scene at the church because my mother-in-law asked her to be quiet during the ceremony. Apparently my father’s wife was talking a lot during the service. Even though I had nothing to do with it, they didn’t come to the reception. Then my father’s wife butt dialed me on New Years Day and left a message talking about how she wanted me to go rot someplace and die. It was really awful. It sounded like they both might’ve been under the influence. I don’t know. We haven’t been able to work it out. I tried talking to him, but he won’t speak to me. I don’t even have his phone number, though I’ve left messages where he works. Now I have a daughter. Neither of my children know my father and his wife. My mother is remarried and I have no trouble accepting and loving my parent’s partners. I really think I have done all I can, including expressing my love. It is very sad and we likely won’t ever speak again. I even tried reaching out when the pandemic hit because of the obvious fear of losing an older parent to the virus.

I’m so sorry to hear that. At least you’ve tried your best and made efforts to resolve things. It’s such a difficult situation to be in for so many people.

@@mariancounsellor it really is painful, but I’ll be ok. I keep holding on to the hope a miracle might happen and we would be able to forgive each other and have a relationship. At least we might say goodbye before he gets old and passes. But I’m strong enough emotionally to know I can be here for my own children. I’m safe, I’m ok. It’s ok. I wish that for everyone to just be present and know they are safe and well in the present moment despite being apart from the people they love. Thank you for your reply and for your video.

You’re welcome and yes, never give up trying and be proud of yourself for being the bigger person 👍🏽

Thank you so much

You are right. It takes a lot of patience, communication, trust, and compromise. It’s so nice of you to encourage your partner to reconnect with his daughter 💕

im dating a guy with kids from his past. but he doesnt see the kids anymore and no support. does that mean he is a bad father?

You need to find a man without kids. Build your own family.

That’s a shame. I think it can work if there’s clear boundaries but also, I’ve dated men who have children and it can be difficult at first but it can work out if there’s compromises on both sides. At least you know your mind though so that is a personal choice for you and there’s nothing wrong with that.

I hope you actually live by this and truly stay away from men with kids in this case...no matter how much you would like to date them. Demanding this sort of thing would be inappropriate and cruel to children. It’s akin to sleeping with a married man. A lot of times really weak men will just go along with the request. But it’s just very cruel to kids who have no control over the situation.

@@alicerose8057 It’s not cruel. The only cruel thing is to make you put up with his extra luggage. Soon you will have to allow the baby mama in your house too and deal with her. Not my kid not my problem. Kids comes first in his life not mine, I have a right to deny anyone in my life. I don’t have to accept his kids because kids aren’t part of my relationship. Just his and the baby mama’s relationship.

@@missxmarvel You’re leaving out the feelings of the children. It’s not ok. You can do whatever you want, but it is cruel and wrong to children. If you stand between a parent and the child’s relationship...which you do if you have a relationship with the parent...then you are partly at fault for not providing a safe secure emotional environment for a child. You can choose not to own that, but you are in fact part of the problem whether you want to accept that or not. It is cruelty to a child because a child can’t understand why they can’t be included in large parts of their parent’s life. They will just feel worthless and excluded. And yes, if children can’t come inside your house, be at your house for holidays etc...it is very cruel. As a now grown child of divorced parents I can attest to this. My mother is remarried to my stepfather, who has gone above and beyond to care for me. He has paid for my college education and my wedding. He will leave an inheritance to me. I am not his biological child, but he has loved me as though I am....even through me calling him names when I was a teenager etc...he was committed to our family. Now I love him as though he’s my real father. My father, on the other hand, I have no adult relationship with due to the fact that his wife demanded I be excluded. I can tell you I have suffered enormous pain over this. Many of my own actions with regards to partners etc...all stem from this exclusion. I’ve gone through periods where I’ve been overly needy of my partners. I’ve gone through periods where I was emotionally detached. I’ve allowed myself to be mistreated by men. Luckily I’ve had a lot of therapy and I’m ok. But I suffer everyday. I cry occasionally when I think about the fact that I have no relationship with my father. Yes it’s my father’s fault for not being in my life. But it’s also his wife’s fault because she controls his entire schedule. Furthermore, she has made clear she is jealous of the past relationship my father had with my mother and therefore I am a reminder of that. So she doesn’t want my father anywhere near me or his grandchildren. She controls it all. Whether she likes it or not she has a relationship with me. Even if she wants to pretend that I don’t exist, I do exist and she can never change it. Her behavior is cruel and inappropriate when it comes to me, as is my father’s. But my father had this exact thing happen to him when he was a child. His father left my grandmother for her best friend. He started a whole new family and never had anything to do with my father again. Even to the point of not speaking to him or acknowledging him at a funeral. My older sister was there and my father’s father didn’t even acknowledge his own grandchild. It’s very messed up. Not ok at all. A horrible trail of pain, all due to the selfishness of second wives.

@@missxmarvel and I’ll tell you something else. Children are not luggage. That’s a person you are talking about.

You’re welcome. I will definitely make some more videos in regard to this topic. Thank you for your feedback

Thank you for sharing your point of view on this, it’s appreciated. Yes, if people are religious/ spiritual then the bible provides guidance for ways of living together in harmony. Sometimes it works and other times, for some families it doesn’t. Every family unit is unique but it’s important to try to work out what the issues are and then make efforts to fix them.

Older women likewise are to be reverent in behavior, not slanderers or slaves to much wine. They are to teach what is good, and so train the young women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled, pure, working at home, kind, and submissive to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be reviled. Titus 2:3-5

Jay Tee Thank you. Please feel free to comment on the video content too, thanks.

Hi Tev, it’s so difficult when you meet someone who’s your ideal partner but they’re not willing to accept your children. It’s unlikely that a relationship can do well in the long term unless there’s acceptance that if you date a parent, children are gonna be a part of the package (even if the children don’t live with that parent full-time). Sometimes it’s worth trying to see if there’s anything that can be done to improve on the relationship between the children and your partner but if you try and it just isn’t working, then yes, the only option sometimes is to walk away. Thanks for sharing your story and I wish you the best for the future.

You did the right choice my brother

That’s so sad but yes, you don’t have a choice in this situation because you can’t choose your wife over your child. It’s a shame your wife can’t find a way to work things through. Have you shown her this video? or have you considered mediation or family therapy maybe?

You realized that your already married you just prioritized .Marriage is a broad subject .A young mother that's raising a child is married to that child she has to give that child her everything until a certain age or stage.

I wish my father would have did that

@@mercedesvallar3384 Its called RESPECT

Amen brother, I'm in the same boat...I have a son who's austic but even though my gf accepted him, she didn't accept my other 2 who I share 50/50 custody from another mother...It hurts but kids who are still minors look up to you for protection and security...I grew up without a father so I know the feeling of not having one.

I feel so sorry for what you had to go through but nobody should make you choose between them and your children so you did the right thing and it’s her loss. It’s really sad that adults date someone with kids but then refuse to make any efforts with the children, I don’t really understand it.

It’s crazy to see so many goin thru the same thing I am it’s almost exactly wat I’m goin thru jus hasn’t made me choose jus breaks up with me then gets back with me when she leaves back outta town mind u my daughter lives 200 miles away so I get her only once a month or month n half for a week

Yes, there’s a lot of people who are affected by this issue. I’m surprised myself at how big an issue it is. Your daughter living 200 miles away is making things less of an issue but it’s a shame that your partner can’t accept your daughter regardless. I hope everything works out for you.

@@mariancounsellor thanks really means a lot any little advice would help should I try n fix or stop wasting my time honestly

You’re welcome 👍🏽

That’s an interesting viewpoint. You could do a search with specific key words but I will also consider making a video looking at things from that angle thank you

Hi there, I cannot provide advice online in this way. The videos provide information on specific topics but if you need couples counselling to work through specific issues, you are welcome to arrange a counselling appointment. Please visit my website www.marianhansoncounsellor.com or email Marian_Hanson@hotmail.com

@@mariancounsellor paid a lot of money for counselling and nothing has changed

Hi Lauren, I can’t advise you to leave your husband and also, you’re possibly both managing your emotions differently because of the stress of a new baby so please try to not make any impulsive decisions. It seems a bit unfair that your husband is leaving all of the responsibilities to you. He may know you’re struggling but he might not know the extent that it’s having on you. Try having a heart-to-heart with him to let him know exactly how you feel and what you need from him. If you do decide to take some time apart, consider the impact that it will have on the relationship, on you, him, and the children. The baby is both of your responsibilities so although they can be stressful, you could compare to him how it would feel him you described him as ‘stressful’? Maybe you could explain that the baby needs him too and it’s an opportunity for him to bond with his child.

Yeah, hell with him. You could be that exhausted still by yourself. Plus, minus the emotional drainage this man is giving you, not worth it. Wow, just answered my own question also. I'm sorry you're going through this 😔

Hmm, as a single mother of two babies 13 months apart, I wouldn't leave as long as he is financially supportive. Leaving will make things a hell of a lot more exhausting for you.

Sorry to hear about your situation. It really is a difficult dilemma to be in for some families. Could you maybe explain to your husband why you think it would be a good idea for you both to go for therapy. Maybe you could explain the impact that it is having on you. It’s a shame because it’s probably just that they are both trying to stand their ground rather than working together to build your family up as a strong unit. Your husband could probably be a great role model and mentor to your son. Do they have anything in common? Most men have something in common regardless of differences? Even if they bond over an activity together that would be a good start.

@@mariancounsellor yes it really can be difficult. Even though my son is grown they still see each other when we have family get togethers sometimes . Yes they are both stubborn especially my husband. I want a sit down with us all but I’m not sure that would end well without someone partial to be there .

And you are not even bothered to put your piece of trash son in place? What kind of a mother are you? I would never allow a kid to disrespect my man.

boondockpaint This is sad that you are in the process of splitting up and it must be frustrating for you when your wife was aware of your children before marriage. Is there anything more you can do to try to help them to connect with each other? It would be a shame for all parties if you can’t work it out.

@@mariancounsellor she says I didn't tell her that she'd have to be a full on mom

boondockpaint which u didn’t and u shouldn’t expect that from her she is not their mother and can’t replace that so stop trying to force it

@@across5539 I understand now

She should resent you.

Sorry to hear that Chesea. I suppose it’s tough to be in a relationship and not have anything to do with someone’s children because it means it will be awkward whenever you’re all together at an event, function, or when they visit. For many parents, they’re left with no choice but to choose their children. I understand where you’re coming from though, there can be drama or issues with the mother or father or your partner’s children but that’s where conversations, boundaries, and working as a team comes in. I wish you the best anyway.

Good for you, you are smart to not get involved with the baby mama and grandmom bullshi+. I have been with my bf for almost 4 years and I resent his kid, largely because he doesnt discipline the child & this kid acts like a brat cuz everyone kisses his a$$. What new partner wants to come into a situation where they get to be 4th in line, after the kid, the baby mom and the dog. Then the partner is blamed and called a child hater, when its really the crap parents. The parents couldnt hack it...when the darling child came along they split and made a broken home. Then it's the partners fault for disliking the dysfunction. I absolutely could have had a child with my partner but seeing how that clown show was run, I declined...BEST MOVE EVER.

That’s really sad to hear but you’re a great parent to say that your daughter will win the battle. If your husband can’t make the shift to like or love your children, then that’s quite sad because he knew you had children before he married you. It’s such an uncomfortable situation to be in as a parent so I wish you all the best.

Thank you so much and yes it’s a heartbreaking situation but a no brainer , I’m not sure if he thinks that I can go on with him showing no love to her and me knowing how she feels!

I can’t tell you exactly what to do because you have to make the decision for yourself and for your family but hopefully, the video provides you with a perspective and a few things to consider.

Hi Melisa, that is a bit of a concern because your 21 year old son is still a part of the family and even when or if he moves out, he will still be interacting with your partner ‘s daughter. Maybe you could explore what your partner’s actual concerns are and also consider how you can all do things together as a family to bond. Maybe your partner and son could try to find something they have in common and arrange a bonding activity together.

Thanks Brett!

Good Evening, yes I do but if you are in another country, it would be via Zoom Video call or WhatsApp. Please feel free to message me on my Facebook page ‘Marian Hanson Counsellor and Coach’ or you can WhatsApp me on 07871 485367 Kind Regards, Marian

It’s not my position to judge or label someone as being a responsible father. It’s more important what you think as you’re in a relationship with him. What are your thoughts about him not providing for his children? What are the reasons? How is it impacting upon him? His children and on your relationship? They might be more useful questions to ask yourself.

thank you for the response. highly appreciate it. im really confused because he doesnt provided for his kids and seldom sees them. saying that the ex moms did he wrong in the past. so it makes me question if he is really a responsible father in the future. what are your thoughts? shall i continue this relationship or this is a deal breaker? thanks alot marian!

I really can’t advise anyone to stay in a relationship or leave because I don’t think I have the right to make that decision for someone else. However, you can decide what’s the most important thing to you in a relationship and consider what your personal dealbreakers are.

@@mariancounsellor thank you verh much.. i think i know my answer now. thank you for this insight

@@g0927 I'll give you my two cents: if a man doesn't provide for, nor hardly see his kids, he's a deadbeat and I personally would run for the hills!

Sorry to hear that. Do you know the reason why your girlfriend feels the way she does? Ultimately, your child will be your child for life and your girlfriend probably came into your life after she knew you were a father. If your girlfriend loves you unconditionally, that also means accepting and loving all of you including your daughter who is a part of you. Maybe you could try a few of the suggestions in the video and see how that goes? All the best to you.

Because i came into her life without knowing that i have a child, but she knows my past relationship at the first i scared to admit to her that i have a child. And then after were together for 2months i admit her that i have a daughter and that hurt her but she accepts me as only me without my daughter and i cant talk to my daughter and see her, were almost 2years now. And i realize i need my daughter in my life and i know she needs me, i dont want my child grow without father its hard. Now my gf give me option to choose, she or my daughter. I explained her everything but she doesn't listen to me. I dont know what to do

That’s so sad but yes, unfortunately, this is quite a common situation for many people. It’s almost like a resentment builds up towards the children, often based on the fact that it reminds some partners that there’s still a connection between the parents of the children. It can lead to anger, envy, mistreatment, projection and a lot of destruction.

Thank you for sharing your story on this. It really is a difficult situation because in many cases, people want to make it work but sometimes there’s no compromise. I respect you for having the courage to put you daughter first. There are cases where children intentionally try to sabotage relationships due to fear or just not liking their parent’s partner and that’s where transparency, good communication, reassurance and sometimes family therapy can be helpful. I hope your daughter can work it out and do what’s best for everyone involved.

Yes, I can remember feeling, at times, that my daughter may have been trying to sabotage a relationship (12 or 13 yrs old was particularly tough yrs and I just opted to not date for awhile . Dating with a child or children can make a person not want to bother. Thank Dr. For your video.

Why would anyone accept your child? Your best bet would be to find someone who already has kids as it’s a 2 way street.

The audacity of parents are so disturbing. You expect your partner to be last place because your kids come first, if they need you but your kids whine for your attention they need to suck it up because your kid comes first, Your availability is limited because your kid comes first, but yet you expect your partner to be there for you, you want your kid first place in your partners life too, it’s their kid when your kid needs something but you become an angry mommy bear when your partner scolds your kid but because it’s your kid. It’s your kid, not theirs so you can’t expect them to be a bonus parent whenever it suits you.

If someone gets into a relationship with a single mother or single father, you make that choice. If you don’t like the parenting style, then you don’t have to be in the relationship. The issue is with the adults and how they can navigate through the situation, not about what good or bad parenting is. Children are not robots. They get stressed, they misbehave sometimes. Adults have bad days too. If someone lacks understanding about children, then they shouldn’t be in a relationship with someone who has children.Most children are wary of new adults coming into their lives so it’s up to the adults to provide reassurance and to work at building a relationship.

Also, there are single fathers out there too so I’m not sure why your comments are directed at single mothers. If a man walks away from someone, that’s his decision to do so and not always a reflection on the woman he’s walking away from.

So sorry for your loss. I can understand how being around children after you’ve had a miscarriage would be really difficult. I actually provided counselling to individuals who have been in this situation except they couldn’t even look at other children anywhere without becoming upset. Your emotions seem to be more about the loss, not because anything his children have done so you may want to consider accessing some therapy to work through your feelings. Also, you are entitled to grieve for your loss and it will take time to heal so talking to your partner about how you’re feeling and the reasons why, is a good idea. Also, recognising that his children are innocent parties in all of this but also may end up being a part of your family if you marry your partner so you may decide to slowly work on establishing a bond with them.

@@mariancounsellor thank you.

I would like to suggest womb healings. Our wombs are sacred and our source of power and energy. If you’ve not ever heard of womb healing or energy work, there’s plenty of information now a days online. I highly believe this will help you and be beneficial to your healing and maybe even help with fertility. Womb healing can come in the form of yoni steaming, womb massage, reiki, womb affirmations etc. I send you much love and healing. 🤍

@@BelleZee1 Thank you! I’m going to look into it.

@@hunni_hunni you are welcome! I wish you the best. 🙏🏻

If your son has already decided to move out then your partner should be okay with the decision and not continue to put pressure on your or your son. Maybe also consider what could happen when your son does move out, will your partner be controlling in other areas?

I am a 41 year old woman with a 21 year old son, I was living and engaged to a 38 year old who had no kids. I canceled our wedding because he had issues with helping out financially when it came to my son. Everything in the house was 50/50 and my son paid for rent 300, paid his insurance, his cell phone bills and he took care of his car repairs. My fiance had issues about how I raise my son but I have no issues with my son, he has no vices, works, comes home at a good time and is respectful. My fiance wanted my son to help out more around the house but he barely spends time at home because he works so hard so I preferred his time there to be spent bonding with us and for him to have a good time than to always be cleaning with us. He did do his room and if we asked something from him he would get it done. My ex fiance still wants me back .. he says he'll be there for us as best as he can but there's limits, if he feels uncomfortable with something that has to do with my son he wants me to respect it. Am I wrong for asking for 💯 from him? I feel in a family we all have to give 💯.

I know what you're going through. My wife and I have been separated for about 3 months now. It's a shame how you think you know someone but not really. If we dont reconcile, I'm pretty sure I'll only date seriously again after my children are grown. People without kids lack the ability to show real love to other people's kids. When they look at them they're reminded that they weren't first. But it's all good. My kids are mine forever and I'll never put anyone else over them.

That is awful for someone to ask you to choose between him and your daughter! Especially when he’s not just your boyfriend but your husband. I’m so sad to hear that. Also, the impact on your daughter as well as she may end up feeling guilt or like she’s responsible. Have you all considered family therapy as an option? Or would your husband consider seeking a therapist in his local area to explore why he has issues with your daughter? It may be worth discussing things with him.

@@boondockpaint Thankfully, there are some people out there who love other people’s kids like they were their own. I’ve personally heard of, and seen men step into the picture and become amazing stepfathers to children. My sister’s husband married her when she had an 8 year old daughter from a previous relationship and she literally calls him sad and people think he’s her dad. It depends on the individuals involved and their mindset. I’ve also been in relationships with men who have children and it has never created an issue because obviously, they come as a package. There’s always a deeper reason or issue beneath so it’s sometimes about trying to get to the root of why the person feels that way about an innocent child.

So how are you handling im in the same boat I feel in the middle because it does not make me happy if I dont have her with my daughter me but I see my husband is happy and different person with me when she is not around he doesn't want her back in the house I dont know what to do anymore I also have 2 kids with him.

I’m in the same thing

What approaches have you tried? Could you maybe try some of the things I mentioned in the video?

Walk away

ann phun it’s such a common issue. They are both competing for you so they view each other as a threat. Try to help them to see that you are all working together as a team and you love them equally and it is difficult for you when they don’t get along. Hopefully this will help them to try to get to know each other. Also, encourage them to do bonding activities together

Thank you so much for your advice 🌹

ann phun you’re welcome 👍🏽

Hope I'm not out of line. Is it possible to DM you? I have the same problem and desperately trying to seek advice or any tiny but of help I can get.

Sorry, I didn’t see this comment before. My videos are to provide information and guidance plus I also have information on Counsellor and Coach Facebook page. If you would like to arrange an initial counselling appointment, then please do not hesitate to contact me.

Frank Martinez That’s definitely an issue then because they come as a package. You may not be able to change another person but if you love your girlfriend, maybe you can try to get to know her son and discover different sides to him? What about if you plan an activity to do together just the two of you? Her son isn’t going anywhere so it’s not worth the risk of losing your girlfriend if you love her. All my best to you

Frank I'm going through the same problems myself right now with my wife and her son that I can't stand him if an at all possible never marry a single mother wait till the children are grown the problem is we want the mother but not the child a lot of people don't know this but the Alpha Lion kills The Offspring of another Alpha once he obtains power so that's the way it is in the wild animal kingdom but we are human and most of us believe in God and we think that we're able to overcome these negative feelings that we have inside they don't go away on their own. I would advise don't bring any children into the world if you haven't already. Learn to love this child or Let It Go or find someone without kids in the home good luck

@@chrisguzman9359 Me too. I cant stand her son hes 9 yrs old. Things are great when hes not around but when he is its sickening all we do is fight. The kid literally ruins her mood all day and can't do anything but say crazy stuff. I dont wanna leave her but then i think of the kid and i just wanna stay away from her. Its really sad cause it seems like her life is ruined. I know the right thing too do is leave but its hard af

@@worm3615 . I feel your pain as men we need to have the backbone because if we're weak a woman has no problem stepping on us and many times the woman is the one that pulled the plug on the relationship sometimes we call the relationship love but it's really lust and we don't want to leave that behind it's hard to be celibate but it's better to be celibate and and a alone with the option of finding somebody that is not attached I think us as men we need to be intentional when we're looking for somebody as a wife or girlfriend to be picky I'm not settle for the easy pickings available because if it's easy for you to get it it would probably be easy for somebody else to get as well I'm waking up good luck to you Jeremy on whatever you decide to do

@TheBestDamnMinecrafter shut your dumb ass up

Hi there, it’s good that you’re being honest about how you feel but a child is part of the package when you get into a relationship with a parent. It shouldn’t feel like you’re competing because the relationship between two intimate adults is different from a mother and child. You can either consider family therapy, hold your own family meetings to explore the issues, or decide that it’s a dealbreaker and walk away from the relationship. Hating someone who’s not going anywhere is unhealthy for the child and for you and will end up impacting on the relationship. Just my honest thoughts.

Yes, that’s completely true in most cases. Unfortunately, some parents make the decision to choose their partner over their child but that’s rare. If possible, it’s always better to try to understand what the actual issue is and then try to resolve it. Kids can be protective and territorial over their parent but also some partners can ignore the children or come into the household and try to take over. The parent sometimes feels like they’re caught in the middle.

Oh sorry to hear the situation you’re in. In this case, it feels like your husband finds it difficult to see how your son is treating you rather than him finding it difficult to get along with your son. What are your thoughts about your son’s behaviour? Have you considered family therapy or individual therapy for your son? It’s a shame your husband has made an ultimatum and also left the family home. Hopefully you can both work together as a team to resolve things.

Discipline your child instead of coddling him out of guilt.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts. I think anyone dating with children or someone choosing to date someone with a child both are equally responsible for that choice. Children don’t have a choice on being born or who their parents date. Acceptance means both adults discuss the boundaries and decisions when you’re in the relationship. That includes financial responsibilities, discipline, education, activities etc. If a child is being disrespectful, then if you’ve already discussed discipline, this will be addressed. Ultimately, if someone doesn’t want to date a person with children, they don’t have to but they can’t date a parent and not accept the children, that’s the main point of the video.

I consider acceptance that you understand that they are there but should not mean that you need to take time away from their children. But acceptance doesn’t mean be a free caregiver and ATM for his kids. That’s so disgusting that many parents think you should let them invade your life.

You’re entitled to your opinion. The statistics don’t match your words as there are plenty of stepfathers who have made the decision to be a part of families and to make a difference despite the challenges.

@@mariancounsellor You are just a grifter so don't lie to men about "statistics" that you you know either don't even exist or are manipulated to suit the feminism narrative , Would you honestly encourage your own son to "get to a party late and do all the dishes and clean up other people's mess" ? be honest.

I wonder if you have the same energy when you are a single father, oh wait you won’t. You red tards want no kid of another man but expect a woman to raise yours because that’s what a woman should do. You neckbeard dare beyond evil. Besides you’re a black dude, you hardly raise kids.

I’m a Counsellor and a Social Worker of 20 years so it’s a pretty ridiculous thing to say that I don’t care about the wellbeing of any child. The video is focused on an issue faced by some stepfamilies so if you don’t have any constructive feedback to share, then you don’t have to watch the video. Other people have found it of benefit.

AGREED!

It’s not really as easy for some people to do that when they’re in a committed relationship especially if they want to try and find a solution first. However, it can lead to that in the end.

Maybe women with kids should wait , until their kids are grown up and out of the house , before they can start dating again, that way men don’t feel used or taken advantage off.

@@julianramires3890 That's what I did and there's a HUGE problem with that approach!!! By then, you are OLDER and most men WANT YOUNG WOMEN!!! So either approach you choose, it's a really hard road for the single mom!