It’s always the persons fault, who cares and desires to work on the marriage. According to these counselors. Maybe the person who should be listening doesn’t care.
My spouse does everything on this list, then also doesn't listen. He replies to our conversations with clear responses that he's not paying attention. I feel like I have constantly looked internally for what I'm doing wrong, offering solutions for better communication, following through with progressive change and he remains uninterested, unmotivated, and distant. This leaves me in a constant state of feeling alone, which makes me try to get him to listen and communicate back to me further.
Oooooh! I am so guilty of the "I've worked all day and can't do one more thing." Thanks for providing the mirror. I'm going to apologize to my husband now.
No one will read this comment... I have learned that you cannot present new information to people. You always always always have to repeat back what they say. the only way to for people to learn new things is to subtly influence them to come up with the idea on their own so then you can repeat back what they think they discovered.... No one will read this comment
I have a bit of concern that to a covert narcissist, this list is a license to feel validated in their abusive, neglectful patterns. Am I valid in that concern?
Yes, and we all have to be careful with true narcissists. I have some in my life, too. But the thing is this is valid - sometimes we are the one causing the disconnect but our own behaviour. I wish is did a video on the opposite - what you can do if your spouse does all things discussed in the video. That’s my problem >
My husband hasn't worked in 3 years. He got hurt at work. I work full time and do all the chores. My husband chose to live with his dad for over 3 years against my opinion, and continued to come by once or twice a week living for free at my apt. And he doesn't clean either. I am resentful!
Same with my husband but it proves it's not a Me issue, it's a We issue and it sounds like learned behavior by how we've been treated by their responses to us.
My husband doesn't give his attention when listening to me,he will be busy with his phone and would like me to keep talking, if I say I want to talk with him he would claim to be busy with people and would not later ask to hear from me. I think I don't have any value in his eyes
You nailed it sir god bless you really pinpointed all the problems thank you so much han Agar also ask you to change the name to why doesn't my spouse listen to me because maybe that's why such less views for such a wonderful video 😍😍
Ill say the biggest thing when trying to get your partner to listen is by letting them. Let them talk, watch your body language, and recap what they say to clarify loose bolts. But let them speak. Im here because my husband says all I should do is not talk, and not have an opinion. (When hes trying to be heard.) Im trying to be better with my listening. Im trying to be better with my responses and how its said. How do i handle him when his language is still harsh and still trying to attack as if im his enemy? Cause ive tried so much, i just want help.
Oh I know and took the advice to let it go and go on like he was. And he will do what I was saying or not. Well after 4 yrs of not being up the same thing over and over again nothing ever happened and he only become more involved in himself
None of these are my problem, my wife is great , and for the life of me I can’t understand why I just don’t here her sometimes, the only thing I can come up with is that maybe Iam thinking to much in my own head. It’s cause problems. Any one have some tips ?
I probably need to see a professional when I have the money to decipher whether I'm under a lot of stress or if I have a disability because I forget things so often that even when they're written down, I forget and don't follow through on what I'm told to do. They dictate everything, I don't have a voice in the relationship. They berate me for my forgetfulness and tell me I'm a waste of effort, that no other person would EVER put up with me.
Internalize what you want to change, think often of it. If you dont want to forget, keep reminding yourself, create a system, what ever you do, dont repeat the same thing and expect a different result.
But why is the spouse using that tone...maybe the spouse is sad about something and has resigned... I am a woman that said I dont care and all that other stuff because I have resigned because of something...
He is kind of a hoarder I tried to clean the backyard that full of junk. He was very upset and I told him we need to clean the backyard because it is very messy then he told me that I am his private pain and I can leave him and his Son will be fine. I hand in my wedding ring and I don’t know what to do right now. It’s been 11 years we were fighting about cleanliness he is very messy person and I am not. Some enlightenment please.
My bf doesn't liste to me at all, it's seems that as soon as I open my mouth he closes his ears. But the thing is he does 4 of those 6 that you mention. I might do 2 so I seriously don't know what's up
I created the same monster with my wife.. I thought that I was being accepting and allowing her to plan but women see this behavior as being weak..the only solution is divorce and never marry again..
Our society likes to blame the victim. Might as well be raped and watch a video on why Islamic rape gangs were manipulated unwillingly to rape a woman to death. It is the corpse's fault.
Women in America are not victims..Men are the ones who have been called toxic for 60 years; it women who say they don't need men...its women who boost their body counts...Where are American women victims??
My husband told me, he is going to plan everything because he is a bread winner and I cant do anything. Most of your topic I did. My marriage no is fallen apart can I get some advise?
what about me giving an opinion and she just gives me an ear full for opening my mouth. Or giving my all when i'm home (laundry, cooking, groceries and taking care of kids) and still being told I don't do anything at home. One sided marriages especially when you are trying your best to not fight your spouse in front of the kids needs professional help. I'm going through this and took too long to get help to fix the marriage professionally. Now separated i'm still being attacked. word of advice is when you feel sour in the relationship don't hesitate to seek professional help to mediate.
My husband thinks he does a ton of work around the house, but all he does is make sure there's nothing in the sink. If you spoke with him he would give you a whole different story.
Mine has ignored me for the better part of a decade. My solution don't bother talking just do what I want. When she doesn't work and I work 60+ hour weeks I'm not doing chores in the house that's her job. Cant even state a single thing I like about her anymore
