Coming to this video very late (obviously) but the biggest issue we're having at the moment is people assuming they are invited when they're not. We keep emphasizing how we're having a small, intimate, destination wedding and not everyone we'd like to include is going to be invited. We're pointing out that half our family isn't invited. They haven't gotten a save the date. We're still getting texts like "just renewed my passport! so excited!" They're still not invited. It's still stressing me out.
Family is a really complicated subject for me. I have about 70 family members, who I am sure most of them would really like to come to the wedding. My husband-to-be however has a really small family of only 4 people excluding himself. We also have a really tight budget and agreed to keep the guest list short at about only 40 people. So there's no way I could ever invite my whole family and we made the decision to pick about 15 people from my side and invite them. But not only does it already seem unfair to him that he gets to only invite 4 family members while my family takes up a much bigger chunk out of the guest list even though I'm not inviting everyone, I also still feel kind of sad and also guilty that even with being able to invite more family than him I still don't get to invite a few people I would actually really like there. And lastly I'm also scared that this will create problems in the family dynamic and people will be offended further down the road. Any advice?
I was just left out of my niece's daughter's destination wedding and not a word was said to me about it. They splashed this opulent wedding all over FB and had at least 100 guests there, per their pictures! I am the only relative left on my niece's dad's side of the family (all have passed). To say I am hurt and offended to not be invited, is an understatement. It says to me I'm not good enough. We've never had bad words at all. I will say nothing but will remember this diss. I will now be avoiding them if they should try to contact me.
I'm currently planning my mom's wedding, she's 70 and her hubby to be is 80 and I'm drowning in intense stress. Her wedding package is for 100 guests. I sent out invitations and was crystal clear That RSVPs were requested from adressee/s only. HOWEVER, several invited guests sent back rsvps cards with additional names. Now I'm the bad guy having to call the invited guest and say their invited friends, children and co-workers are not able to attend due to limited seating. Why don't people follow instructions!? These conversations have not been easy and I've been put in a tough position. Now I know why people elope. Help!!!!
I have some struggles too, i dont want to invite my mom and my sister to my wedding bc they r always body shamming me, and i really dream of a black wedding dress so they would probably say some bad things about my dress and i hate that. But i love my stepdad so much i want him to be there, idk if i should just invite them and ignore the bad things or not invite them
Have you ever talked to them about the comments that they make? You could always tell them they can come if they keep their comments to themselves but if they can't then they're not welcome. Might seem harsh but it's your day and no one should make you feel bad about yourself on your own wedding day.
Hey friend! I'm honestly struggling with something similar with my mom. Not sure if i should invite her or not. Ultimately it's up to you and whether you think she's going to add to your day. If her being there will cause you stress or cause drama moreso than her presence add positivity to your day, you don't have to invite her or your sister! But if you think you might regret not inviting them there and you don't think they'd have a hugely negative impact on your special day, I say go for it. I personally think I will invite my mom but let everyone close to me and my boyfriend know that she can be dramatic/cause trouble so that everyone can be on top of it if something happens. My friend did something similar at his wedding, tasking his best man and groomsmen to make sure his mom didn't drink. You can totally delegate to your loved ones to help manage drama and curb comments. A day-of coordinator might be a good idea too! Ultimately I'm sure this is a hard decision and I hope you're able to come to a choice where you feel good about it :) I've also watched a great video from Nayri/wedding fashion expert here on RU-vid about dress shopping with opinionated guests and she does a great job talking about that, and it might help with your concerns about their judgement of your dress choice. Best of luck!
I'm a new bride to be (still feels weird to say), just discovered your channel today and it's helping so much already! thanks so much for all your content - can't wait to dig in more x
I actually invited old friends parents to our wedding and then their children just to the evening as I wasn’t in touch with their children anymore. Not sure if that’s helpful at all. ❤️. Xx
Thank you so much for creating these videos- they are so useful! What are your thought on inviting step parents to your wedding?! I don't really have anything to do with my dad's wife, but do not want to offend my dad by not inviting her. At the same time though, my fiancee and I will be paying for the wedding ourselves so I feel like really we should have the final say. It is an absolute minefield!
Personally i would invite them, but as i always say, it is your wedding day and you need to do whats makes you happy. But if they are together, then i would invite them. Good luck xxx
I am going to have my 2nd real wedding!! So most fam went to first....and most have not seen for years.... Wish is most of it...not envitining Only my small imediate fam!!
My conundrum is inviting my Dad. Him and my mom split on bad terms and in 10+ years I've only seen him once. I'm not a fan of his current wife but don't think he'd come without her, and on top of that I wasn't invited to his wedding when he got remarried. 😕 I wouldn't have him walk me down the aisle. At the end of the day he's still my Dad and I think I'd like him to be there, but I'm not sure and I don't know if it would cause any drama to have him there.
Honestly struggling with something similar with my mom. Not sure if i should invite her or not. Ultimately it's up to you and whether you think he's going to actually add to your day. If him being there and potentially having his new wife there will cause you stress or cause drama, you don't have to invite him! But if you think you might regret not inviting him and you don't think he'd have a negative impact on your special day, I say go for it. I personally think I will invite my mom but let everyone close to me and my boyfriend know that she can be dramatic/cause trouble so that everyone can be on top of it if something happens. My friend did something similar at his wedding, tasking his best man and groomsmen to make sure his mom didn't drink. You can totally delegate. A day-of coordinator might be a good idea too! Ultimately I'm sure this is a hard decision and I hope you're able to come to a choice where you feel good about it :)
Hi everyone! We have a really sensitive situation, and hence my question: how do you not invite an uncle with whom you meet often, who lives close and whose sisters you invite? It is a tough one, but if you have tips, I would be grateful :)
Hi! What about friends whom you feel you should, or want to, invite, but people in your bridal party have really bad blood with them? Or, they're best friends/housemates with someone else you want to invite, and it would awkward and hurtful not to invite them, too? Thanks!
What would you do about team mates you play sport with, especially if we play on multiple teams. Some people we play with are really good friends but others we don’t Know well. Is it a bad idea to invite some and not others? Xx
Wait...how do you have a reception that's separate from dinner? In the US, we have a ceremony and a reception. The reception is at the dinner. If people showed up after we'd finished eating, they'd be walking into a room full of dirty plates and tables (being cleared of course), a sweet table they're not supposed to touch, half-eaten cake etc...and what about the bar? Oftentimes dinner is a buffet, so how would we stop them from partaking? The dancing and entertainment happens before, during, and/or after the dinner, with one to several hours of dancing after the main meal is complete; but many couples order a late-night snack as well, for those who have been dancing for hours after dinner is through. And of course, there are daytime and even morning receptions, if you've had a morning ceremony or are just planning a smaller wedding, possibly with brunch food or light refreshments. Wondering how this looks in the UK.
Oh bless you thats a tough one. I guess you and your partner need to work out whether you should put your foot down or go with it to save conflict. I feel you my lovely xx
The guest list is simple. Parents, Grandparents, uncles and aunts, unmarried cousins, Godparents and their husband/wife. After that, it's up to you. You shouldn't have people invited to an evening do if they're not invited to the wedding itself: either they're invited or they're not. Children: hire the church hall and pay people to run a crêche for the under 5s, and transfer that to the reception: they can have their own party with games, etc, a mini cake which the bride and groom go and cut. If your parents are paying for the wedding they have the final say on the guest list, the reception type and numbers. Budget: if they're friends they'll be happy with a cup of tea and a bun - anything more will be a bonus.
