Why 2019 Was a Hard Year For Me 

I love how Safiya is looking at her with such care and concern. You can tell how she really cares for her.

So THAT'S why Cristine cried in that video with Safiya. I remember being so confused.

Shout out to Zy for feeling the emotion in that conversation and stepping in for support! Animals are the best! 🥰

I really like how 3 couples redefined what a collab means and a youtube friend and in some way raised the bar for it. Not like excusive thing but just a real thing, you know?

The whole situation with Rob and Corinne honestly made me step back and reevaluate how I interact with content creators online. I have never been mean to them because I'm not a jackass, but I never really interacted for the most part either. I was mostly a lurker. The stark reminder that you can lose creators you love or even look up to at any time is something that I had forgotten, and it's something I personally never plan to forget again. I've been more active and openly supportive of creators since because fuck, you never know what's going to happen and I just want them to know that I care if anything ever does. I've particularly stuck around in the Threadbanger community, but there are many others I've been vocal in. I guess that's why I'm leaving this comment too. I'm so sorry that everything was so stressful for you in 2019, I couldn't even imagine what it would be like to launch a project as ambitious as Holo Taco while fearing for the safety of your friend. Having to be busy with a project while knowing somebody you love is suffering is a uniquely terrible experience. It sucks, I really hope things are okay for all of you. I wish you all peace moving forward. I'd wish you a good rest of the year but shit already sucks, so here's to a good 2021. Much love.

My 10 years old sister died last july. And watching simply's video made me sad because I don't know why but I thought "Oh my god my sister never even paint her nails. I never got the chance to paint her nails."

It was really crazy for us when that Threadbanger video dropped and it all seemed so surreal. Mostly because we see Rob as this reckless, cynical badass who hurts himself every video but never really gets hurt like that, you know? It was painful to see Corinne in that state, just watching her tell us about what happened. So I can’t even imagine how you all must have felt since you guys are close friends.

You did a great job pulling through, Cristine. And you, too, Ben. You didn't owe us any explanation, but I appreciate you sharing so openly with us what you went through. And I hope that things are much better for you all now! I also just want to say I so appreciate you. Your videos got me through my last year and a half of college, after EIGHT YEARS OF PURSUING MY DEGREE. I love academia, but it wasn't always the easiest path for me to complete school due to financial and medical issues. Not only were your videos fucking entertaining and fun, but your consistent advocacy for education and sticking with school always reassured me that I wasn't alone in my genuine love and passion for it, and that I was on the right path. Thank you so much for being you and sharing yourself with us. We love you so much and wish more than anything else for your happiness!!!!

My brother had been in a horrible accident last summer. He had to have emergency brain surgery because he fell and hit his head so hard and we weren’t sure if he would make it. Honestly it was so horrible and I can definitely feel a tiny sliver of what Ben and Cristine and of course Corinne and Rob. I think I understand a tiny bit of what they’ve been through. I mean, it’s honestly so terrible having the fear of someone not making it or losing someone you love so dearly.

In the outtakes video, when I saw Cristine starts breaking down in front of camera... I was confused and knew that something was up... Then i saw the comments saying that Cristine was overwhelmed by the love and support of the release of holo taco, although that doesn't seem like the full picture of what actually is happening behind the scenes, I still let it slide cause there wasn't anything I could've done. After watching this video... I just wanna say...Cristine... You are one strong women. You did great at pulling through such a tough time... I can't imagine how much stress you've gone through... Hope you're doing better now and that's all i have to say.. Thanks for reading this comment.

I’ve always looked up to Rob and Corinne and Cristine and Ben. They seem like such genuine people with good values and good hearts. When they stopped posting last year and I saw that Rob had been in the hospital, I was devastated, obviously. I just have so much respect for all of them and think of them almost as distant family, I know it’s weird lol but yeah. I’m so glad they’re all doing okay though.

When Zyler meowed, I thought my cat meowed. My cat was actually trying to fall asleep.

Me: *doesn't have the attention span to watch a whole podcast* Also me: *binge-watching SimplyPodLogical Highlights*

Even I had a hard time during 2019, sorry to hear about what happened, but I'm glad that you and Ben made it

When she says when it’s safe it’s vacay time with rob and Corinne like I think it’s exactly what they need is for all 4 of them to be together doesn’t have to be vlogged or not just then being together, going somewhere to take a break and reflect sounds amazing

I knew that something wasn’t right with you guys around the launch. It must have been hard to be happy for yoursef during that, but you did a great job during the launch and exploring the possibilities and designs out of your polish. I wish you two well, and god bless Rob and Corinne. I know that life altering moments such as those are never easy.

Last year both of my parents were comatose in the hospital fighting for their lives and I cannot IMAGINE having to continue working through that. I had the privilege that everything in my life paused and I could take a few weeks off before returning to school. Hearing you talk about that time in your life, the emotional whiplash sounds so overwhelming it is heartbreaking to think about. I'm so glad Rob is doing so much better and hope you all are healing as well. Big love

Ben and Cristine thank you for the insightful knowledge and perspective. I adore you both and appreciate everything you put out here. We need more RU-vid the way you both create. I’m happy everyone has healed from that time and now things are different. We are all allowed to have our emotions so I’m happy you were able to release it when you needed it the most. I love you both! Stay safe and healthy, mom and dad!

I love how Zyler came to see you both, he could tell you needed a friend

For me, I understand that you guys have a lot going on besides the launch of Holo Taco and Rob being hospitalized. Thank you for sharing that glimpse of life off cam. That's a friendship worth keeping.

It was truly a horrific time. I remember the shock of it all and just actually feeling this pain through the camera when they (Rob & Corinne) decided to talk about what had happened to him and the relief when he finally came on camera and you could see he was still in there. Yes he had difficulties but the trauma didn’t completely take him. We still had him and his wonderful sweary character with us and the relief was unreal. I just wanted to hug them both and I don’t even know them. I’m glad they you both there for support. It’s a shame it happened when it did for your launch as you weren’t able to enjoy it as you should’ve been able to but life just gets in the way like that. Like right now. Rob just wanted to steal some of the limelight. Jealous lil ish that he is!😆😋

I love how Zyler* could tell Ben was getting upset and came over to cheer him up 🥰

Though my 2019 was fortunately not as bad as this, I understand having a lot going on. I was in my last semester of college and working 2 jobs before graduation, moved to a new city with people I'd never roomed with before, and started an internship 2 hours away from my city. Over the summer I would drive 2 hours and stay with my mom during the weekdays, then drive back and work on the weekends. I adopted a cat (because I thought I'd get an internship locally) and had to return him because I was just so stressed and overworked that I couldn't take care of him. I barely had enough money for rent, gas, and food. Finished the internship and started working full time at pizza delivery which I'd been doing the whole time, went through a really rough spot with work, and lost a friend out of nowhere (severed ties, not death). My paternal grandfather died the day after Christmas too which hit my family hard. The GOOD news is that the cat I have back got adopted by a wonderful person, I adopted my own cat who turned 1 today, we got a new GM so work became fun again, and I decided to pursue a different career than I got my BA in with the support of my family. 2019 was absolutely the fucked busiest year of my life and I don't know how I survived it some days. Luckily I had an awesome support group by my side. Right now I'm taking a LOA due to covid, but I have a job when it's safe to come back and I'm getting UI so I don't have to worry about finances. I'm scared of the future, but despite the world-wide panic I am coping and that's all I can really hope for.

My SO had a stroke around that time too. He fully recovered and is doing amazing (he didn't lose any cognitive or motor function long term) but is was absolutely terrifying. Since then, it just pops up randomly that I could have lost him. I hate that our culture doesn't allow for people to HAVE emotions other than positivity. You shouldn't have to tell people when things happen, I realize its a little different with someone who has a lot of fans, but, you have a life and emotions too and we should respect that, especially as fans. I remember wondering what was going on, but having ALSO been going threw my SO's stroke, I just accepted somethings are personal.

Speaking of 2019, I was so glad that you took care of you, Ben, and y’all’s mental health. I’m SO sorry that all of these things have happened to you guys. Yes, I was sad that I didn’t get to see my favorite RU-vidr post but, I love you guys and I’m glad that you guys are doing well again! 💕

I love how they all are true genuine friends. Ty and Saf, Cris and Ben, Rob and Corrine. They all look so relaxed and confident when they are together. It comes out in their content as well and it make the videos a lot more fun and entertaining. I'm sorry 2019 was hard (and 2020) but you have been doing great. Same with Corrine, Rob, Ty, and Saf.

omg when zyler pawed at ben my heart

I love Rob and Corinne and when they shared their video about what happened, knowing you took a break and were posting videos that didn’t require your face or talking on Holo Taco during that time all made a lot of sense. Like everyone else, I’m really happy Rob is okay and by all appearances seems to have recovered really well. And I appreciate whenever they do post a video, because I know it probably takes a lot longer than it used to, and there’s more to be nervous about.

In that video too.. I just wanted to give her a hug. I kinda just thought that it would be been so much better if the video just stopped.. but.. I'm so proud that they pushed through it.

I listen to probably every podcast episode every day just to keep me sane when I'm busy I can't focus without hearing something and yall help me do things and keep doing what your doing btw thank you guys so much for uploading every Tuesday!!!❤❤❤

2018-2019 was a really shitty 2 year period for me. From the day of my mom's collapse and susequent diagnosis of glioblastoma until the day she died and 3 weeks later when my grandmother died. I really hoped 2020 would be better, and besides the whole global pandemic deal, it hasn't been horrible. We just keep trudging on...It's all we can do.

i feel like i wanna cry hearing this.

My mother in law and my grandmother died in 2019, my other grandmother was diagnosed with cancer and had a surgery + chemo. 2019 fucked me up. So I feel you, Christine. Sending you lots of love.

I follow Rob and Corrine too. I cried so hard when I saw their video about his heart attack. My dad had heart problems and surgery this past year...It kind of helped me deal with it better. I actually thought Cristine was incredibly stressed about the launch and I totally got it as a fellow business person...You sort of remember major business related events later.

Hi Cristine, so you posted this a while ago so you probably won't see this, but your content holds a lot of impact. It's really cool to see people who are so real and relatable and smart when youtube typically doesn't show that. I really like watching your videos and hearing about the problems or life lessons you and Ben talk about while doing something with so little significance. Nails are surface level, but how you guys choose to interact isn't and I value that so much. Thank you for doing what you're doing. It really does make a difference.

my mom was in a coma for several weeks and it felt like both the longest wait and at the same time a rush. My life paused to an extend, but still having to study and work while being so emotional was hard. Being an bystander and having your friends or family go through these things is so scary

Love the fricking podcasts keeping me sane Edit: I know ive only got like 100 likes but tysm :D

Thank you for explaining. Sounds intense. 2019-2020 are definitely crazy years. I hope Rob is doing much better. Take good care of yourselves! And I’m so excited about Holo Taco’s success for you guys xx

2019 was rough! I was so upset when Rob had his heart attack, and I don’t even know him. I can’t imagine if you’re good friends with him. My mother in law had stage 4 ovarian cancer, and it was a really emotional time. She passed away Feb 21 - and Covid lockdown was 3 weeks later. So basically from Summer 2019 til now really sucked. Hope next year is better for us all! ❤️❤️❤️

I really like you're podcasts because they never feel forced or over the top. It always just feels like in listening to my pals talking about stuff.

I appreciate you two being so transparent and being great role models. Im 25 and I have a lot to learn about life and you definitely make it easier ❤

2019 was terrible for me as well, and for similar reasons. Life's been one sick joke for a while so I kinda feel ya on this.

Sylar senses the tensions and look at him doing everything to diffuse it by gaining their attention. Cats are truly amazing. 🖤

Your strength amazes me, just the fact that you made it through such an emotional crisis like that. Looking forward to seeing you get back to your normal selves again, or maybe something more than what you used to be

I gotta say thank you for adding clips from the full podcast episode. Sometimes I don't have time to watch the full episode so it's really nice to have chopped down versions of certain topics you talk about.

I was a subtle but complete mess during the summer. I'm not going to get into it, but it was rough. I was so hopeful for 2020, and I continue to hope it'll get better

i nearly died twice in a month due to my thyroid conditions in a month, got diasonged with an autoimmune disease. lots of love cristine and ben

god, that has to be the hardest thing when you have all of these plans lined up that you really just cannot cancel and some medical emergency happens and you just have to push through with your schedule ....... Kudos to both of you for getting through it. ❤️💔

if you disliked this video, you do not have a heart. i want to give Crisitine the biggest hug.

I love these highlights man

It must have been so hard for all of you, especially since everyone is expected to keep on smiling and pumping out content. I'm glad you guys took some time to yourselves.

You guys are amazing friends! Thank you for being there for threadbanger! .

I'm so happy rob didn't get his attack during this pandemic cuz I dont think he would have made it. that would have been devastating

Oh I feel this it's no wonder it was such an exhausting year for you. My fiance survived similar circumstances and suffered sudden cardiac death for apparently no reason. Later it was found he had an incredibly rare tumor in his heart and dealing with the emotional toll from that has been the worst experience of my life. He is healthy and ok now but it's hard to go from worrying every single day he would drop dead again to the change in reality. I can remember watching Rob and Corinne's video about what happened and man it hit so close to home. I'm glad you all survived such a horrendous ordeal and that you all have each other to lean on. Situations like these that just break you really reveal where the love and support in your life is.

They are so humble and I love that.

Awe I am so sorry u had to go through that, I am cant believe 2019 was so hard for you. Well, you got through it and that’s all that matters. If you are going through a hard time right now, just know that we are all here to support you. And if you need a break we will understand 🤧🥺❤️

you both did a great job going through 2019!! ❤️❤️

Watched this and then watched the video from threadbanger. Brought the same emotion that Cristine was feeling. I witnessed my mam have a heart attack in 2018, I live an hour a way from her now, and I’m still terrified that she’ll have another one. I always try and tell myself that “we can no longer look at the past, and just hope for a better present and future”. It’s still okay to have a little cry to yourself, I do it. Every now and then. 😌

When the incident occurred with Corinne and Rob and they finally made it public I was so hurt for them. It was shocking and horrible and awful. I can’t imagine what you both endured, knowing and caring deeply for your friends. You being transparent about it now only reinforces the power of vulnerability. Nothing but reverence + support for you all.

Y’all are such beautiful people. I tear up every time Rob’s health issues are mentioned. I can imagine how hard it was for you! I didn’t even start watching Threadbanger until after it happened! I kept seeing stuff in the comments about what happened to Rob and I had to go find out. Then I watched nearly all of their videos. It’s plain to see how much he loves Corinne and their bond is so tight after what happened. Honestly, you and Ben, Rob and Corinne, and Safiya and Tyler are a joy to watch. Just really smart, fun, people. Love your guts.

Oh my god Cristine and Ben I’m so sorry u had to deal with this. I new about robs heart attack from the video he and Corinne did but I didn’t relize that it was so close to the launch of holo toco I can’t image how hard it must have been for you dealing with the stress of starting your own company and a close friend having such a big and serious health scare at the same time.

It’s so comforting to know that simply has people she’s so close to. I remember I used to worry about her because I know she keeps her life private but it felt like she had *nobody* because they never discussed friends.

10 out of 10 the realest conversation I've seen in a while. Thanks mom and dad logical

I'm sorry Cristine 😥 I hope you can feel better someday... I hope every day can be even just a little better for you :)

We're here to support you. Videos or not, podcasts or not. Youve given us so much encouragement and entertainment and real insight for younger viewers and you should always put yourself and what you need first.

These are the kind of people I love and respect on RU-vid. So many people only think that some youtubers collab just for views and popularity,but people like cristine and Ben, safiya and Tyler and Rob and corrine seem to have an actual genuine friendship and they do it because they enjoy doing it and love being together. Love these guys, they're the best ❤❤

Having been in several situations like this, I just want to give you hugs and send love xxx

Hearing the words "can't wait to book our next vacation with them" out of Cristines mouth speaks volumes about how exhausting everything is. Please stay safe. I wanna hug you two so bad right now...

I love you Ben and Cristine--you're great friends and I'm sorry for what you and threadbanger went through. I really felt your passion for Holo Taco and I love all of it, especially the Holodays Collection. I wish you health and happiness :)

im so sorry for a difficult year that anyone had to face. especially you cris and you too ben. i had a hard 2019. i was diagnosed with chronic pancreatitis and i couldnt look at myself in any positive way. i felt like a disgusting disgrace. i felt so gross and i hated myself. i lost all my confidence. i dont even like to eat anymore and when i do i want to throw it all up again. my diagnosis made me hate my body and me in general. i pushed through and im thriving now. i have good friends and good grades and i got a dog and im going to eighth grade and i made it through school. but sometimes its hard to cover up how you feel when something or someone is crushing you. and now that covid 19 is happening im trapped in the house, i feel claustrophobic and i have cabin fever. i guess what im trying to say is that if i can make it, you can too. you have to keep your head up. and some people cant. you can do it because i believe in all of you. no matter who you are or what youve done. no matter what bad things have happened in the past, just keep pushing. you got this. god is watching over all of us and hes protecting us all. hes letting us all know that it will be okay. its going to be okay. i promise. take care everyone and stay safe. oh and thanks cristine and ben, the videos have been keeping me pre-occupied. 💛💛💛💛

Hey Cristine and Ben. The chances of you seeing this comment is really slim, but I wanted to tell you and we are so proud of you both. I too had a rough time last year, almost a month after my graduation, my father passed away, I had to quit my job since my mother had no one else to be with (my sister was studying in a different province). It was really tough, we were all in a really bad shape. Your videos kept me happy during those times (and they still keep me happy even now) and even learned from it. So take your time, you both deserve all the positivity right now.

So sorry to hear that. I hope he is better and won't experience such thing again... It must be really hard for you to go through that process and filming at those days :(

So much love for you both, thank you for being amazing role models 💜

Having friends going through something is a special burden. There are no real labels or explanations, it might not be your place to share, you might just feel entirely powerless or like you are sitting in the second row while being very emotional. It's not a partner or a parent, it's a friend and you might not know your place for this. But I promise, your friends will appreciate that you were there for them. Maybe it will take a while or they won't be able to articulate it at all, but they know you care.

dude same 2019 especially the later half was an emotional rollercoaster that was on fire in hell surrounded by trash that is also on fire

Sorry you went through all this you are a breathe of fresh air on this platform.

So glad he was okay. It makes total sense that something so scary like that would bring home what you really value and want to spend your energy on.

I discovered your videos and Holo Taco during your first launch. You are amazing, and I'm so happy you're continuing to move forward--at your pace, in your time. Thank you for being real with people and doing what you have to do for you.

Cristine I have been watching your videos for years, not an OG sub, but it was something you could tell; something was bothering you. Both you and Ben powered through and oh my gosh, that video you had posted from the launch of Holo Taco and when you were sitting on the floor at VidCon... I just couldn’t help but see that vulnerability, and understand the heaviness you had been through. I assumed it was through the launch of Holo Taco and VidCon, (you have mentioned previously that you are a sock and environments like VidCon are SO overwhelmingly exhausting). I don’t watch Rob’s channel, I had seen the video and when I remembered them from your vacation video and saw pictures of you guys together I understood. Don’t ever feel like RU-vid is going to be mad if you stop posting content; we’re here for you as an understanding community. I don’t usually listen/watch podcasts but I really like how you and Ben are so professional and just intelligent, kind people who just make content for the fun of it. Merci d'avoir fait de grandes vidéos et d'avoir une influence merveilleuse ♥️💅💿

You are doing a great job. And it´s important that you talk about this. The first half of 2019 I was a depressed mess and when I got out of that, I was immidiately pulled into constant stress loop of school and practice and doctors and basically no time for myself and I feel like I´m on the verge of a mental and physical breakdown 24/7, especially now, so it´s good to see someone like you talk about their struggles and to see you get out of it.

Stay strong Cristine we love you

You guys are such fabulous friends to be there. I remember wondering what was up with Threadbanger, they were unusually silent, tho we knew they were filming a travel show for TV. It was horrible they had to go through that. I think it was so good to know that they had people there for them when the fans couldn’t be! (Which sounds kinda dumb, I guess, but ya know what I mean)

Sorry to hear about what happened to Rob🥺 I have so much respect for you guys, even more now❤️

Well i think it would be good to share my experience. My grandma died when i turned 16. It was heartbreaking to recive all the love i was getting, and i began to think that celebrating my bd was like celebrating her death. I also did not let anyone know when she died, becauso i do not want them to think that my bd is about her. This actually happend like days ago, but i kind of know now that it is okay to share the date, and i think that is other thing that i have in common with her.

There are so many wonderful comments here telling Cristine how much they love and support her. Although my comment will probably get lost in the sea of comments, I wanted to say how much I love, appreciate, and respect Cristine. Cristine, you such a strong woman, and a role model to me. I aspire to be even a fraction of what you are. I want to hug you.

I like seeing Cristine more herself. She often said that she is someone who's really calm and she's always super energetic in her videos on her main channel. I love this podcast for this reason

Definitely relate to the second half of 2019 being terrible. My mother left me and my dad and found out via text message she was divorcing him.

😢 for what it's worth, I need the neon cat light. I wish you the best for the rest of 2020 💜

Still believe you guys are the most genuine people in RU-vid industry! That's why you guys own a bunch of genuine fans🤗

Sending you blessings of love and healing, dear Cristine! 💓

So much respect for your work ethic as exemplified by what you're saying here and, even more important, for being able to recognise what you needed and having the courage to do something about it ❤️

Yeah, something similar happened to me in March 2018 when I had to put my cat down, she was my best friend for 6 years and it made me think about things like "If this person I'm talking to now disappeared, would I feel good about our relationship? What would I want to have changed or done first?" I had always wanted to take my cat on a walk, or have her explore a cat tree but I never got around to it until it was too late. I hope you're doing better now, you have our support!

Talking about terrible 2019 ugh :'( first week Jan when we lost my uncle and the next day my grandma (she wasn't able to take the news about my uncle). Had a miscarriage few months after. I had post partum and quit my job. December when my sister was strucked by a vehicle :'( I don't know how I'm still here but damn its sooooo hard.

💛💛 I’m so glad Rob got better and props to you guys for being there for them. 💗

In 2016 my boyfriend over dosed and was dead for a couple minutes before he was revived, and a couple months after that my dad was diagnosed with stage 4 cancer (which he beat!!) and all of this was too much for me to handle at 19 so I shut down. Nothing was helping until I took time for myself. It was so hard but I knew it’s what I needed, time with myself and my loved ones. I’m so glad y’all provided that for Corrin. I’m sure she needed that as much as I did and am so thankful she’s got friends like you two ❤️

And then 2020 showed up screaming 'hold my beer!'

My boyfriend's cousin just bad a heart attack and died, it isn't know for how long he was dead for was, he was induced into a coma for four days and then woke up and was ok, thankfully... And then a week and a half later my uncle had a heart attack too. It is very hard, I'm sorry you guys had to deal with that it's so hard

Love you guys sooo much sorry about 2019 :p

2019 was just wack. 2020 tho... more wack.

I always wondered how you both felt with what happened to Rob! It must have been very hard!