Why Am I Doing This? (A Film About Touring) 

You know how after playing your set and someone that really enjoyed your band comes up to talk to you and at some point in the conversation tells you how they wish they could play music and be in a band, and in that moment you forget about all the struggle, the hours and hours of practicing, the hardships and abject poverty, the bubble-guts from eating Taco Bell for too many days in a row, you forget all that and you realize how fucking great it really is to do this. I will never feel that I wasted my life, because I toured with my band.

I was just thinking the other day how documentaries have become these soulless sensationalistic entertainment vehicles for outfits like Netflix, and how much I missed documentaries that just explored a topic without any flash or CGI or cheap attempts to manipulate emotions. You've given me that genuine pure documentary experience and I appreciate it.

I toured in an all bagpipe Genesis cover band for over a decade. I saw things that I will never unsee.

Not a single lie in this, nor an exaggeration. More fans should know these stories so they'd support live music more.

If you have ever wondered what it is actually like being in a touring band, or if you have played in a touring band and never seen it accurately depicted. This movie is for you and is a MUST SEE.

I was told a tour is anything over two weeks...and anything under is just a trip. My fav story on the road- 1996 we played ocean something New Jersey and it was a heavy thunderstorm. Only like 2 people came to the club. The owner came out to our van after the show and said he couldn't pay us but wanted to at least give us 6 pack of Coke for the road...after looking in and realizing there were only 3 of us, he took off 3 cans and handed us the remaining 3 cans for the road. Big time!

Anyone in HR this is why you should hire someone in a touring band, you can throw ANYTHING at these people, and they will not fucking blink.

Now I need to hear the Mississippi Hippie Killers.

Any other 'retired' indie touring musicians here find this a little hard to watch? This is hitting home in so many different ways for me.

"Why am I doing this?" Is the exact same question I asked myself while I was setting up my rig at my very first gig at Mojos Bar in Fremantle. When we finished the first song I was like, "that's why."

Been touring since 16, I'm 29 now and still actively touring on big and small tours. It's the worst decision I've ever made in my entire life, but its def a lot of fun lol.

Three components ABSOLUTELY necessary for remaining sane on tour: Adaptability , Patience , Sense of Humor.

This randomly came up in my suggested videos and it turns out I know several of these people. My two cents regarding the worst bands you had to play with is, always remember YOU are someone's most hated band. Your band is a big joke to a group of people somewhere having these same conversations. Everyone's band is. I always think about that. I might love my stupid music but I'm fully aware of how stupid it is.

The hardest road dogs I've ever seen are so unexpected: The Dicks and Tori Amos. They both stayed on the road 3/4 of the year, doing 4 hour sets, for decades. Incredible stamina.

This film resonated in my bones and immediately after watching it, I reached out to everyone I've ever been on the road with to tell them I love them and cherish those memories. Thanks for making this and sharing it, Eric. Love to everyone in the movie. We're all in the same club.

"Tour changed me, maybe for the worse" can relate to that

Love this! This was my life for over 20 yrs. I have similar versions of all these stories. The phone bills, the smells, the vans, the band houses, the restaurants, my bandmates, the drudgery and stress and danger and joy and teamwork and successes, the hours of travel. all of it. I fully relate to where these artists are coming from. LOL. Dave Grohl's movie left me feeling like "where are all the real bands". Well... here that are. Liked and subscribed. Thank you for making this movie.

Anyone who has lived this life recognizes these stories. I spent many years in the 80s and 90s driving from one city to another playing shows, and it's all this and more. And I wouldn't trade those experiences and memories for anything

As much as I love music, touring sounds like a very specific/special type of hell that I would never be able to do... I suddenly don't regret trying harder to get my band going.

You had me at “100% Dave Grohl free.”

Lemmy knew how to tour. He never knew any other kind of life. He did all the regular crazy stuff but after the 80's he had some infrastructure and it became a business. The Motorhead name is golden and he could and would end up touring his entire life.

"The place smelled like 200 year old piss" had me crying.

I have only been on audience side, but in early 90s there was a great music scene in Baltimore where there were 3 venues and all these different bands would roll throught tow, "on tour" and catching a good show of a band you did not know was the best, definitely crowd, often small, and band would feed off of each other, nothing like it, so thank you to all those who put up with monsense to delicer that spe ial hour or so

You had me at ""100% Dave Grohl free"

You had me at 100% Dave Grohl free.

The band names and members being interviewed should be in the description

I remember playing in Memphis Tn around 95 ish....we stayed at a house the club had for bands, as I lay in the bottom bunk wide awake from hearing one of our techs snoring I started to read all the names and quotes previous musicians had written on the bottom of the bunk above me . The most profound quote I read asked this question...."what the fuck am I doing with my life?" It was a fun time of my life but damn, it wasnt easy at times!

Anything under 5 days or 500 miles is a "jaunt".

No matter who's in a Van on tour,If Watt still does it and Loves it we can all get through it with a grin

I was probably fortunate doing merch for a relatively established band during the last portion of their 30 year existence. A few less punk house stories, a lot more Motel 6 check-ins and reasonable turnouts every night. Except Fargo. It was 30 below. The band played to the bar staff and 5 other people (including one guy who came down from Canada). The comments on Fargo hit hard. And vans breaking down in Montana (which happened a couple days after Fargo). Although I was not a musician, I am so happy I got the touring experience across the US, Canada and western Europe. I wouldn't want to do it again, but it was a very special time of my life that I'm amazed ever happened. Get in the minivan!

Albini is in it. That’s all I need to watch something. The stories of them going to random houses to sleep are great

The one dude was talking about Chris Jericho’s band Fozzy. 😂

Watched this 3 full times now. You guys absolutely nailed it. The first totally honest film about touring. Well done!

This is all so very accurate & amazing. Everything from “Oh your little band put out a little record” to everyone asking how NY was when you barely saw any of it to figuring out where you’re gonna take a dump. Great documentary!

The 70s was a great time to work in the music biz. Lots of clubs and the scene was exciting. Two of us rode in the back of a Uhaul type bobtail truck with the roll up door secured with a rope for ventilation and we had an ice chest with some ice and a case of Miller light beer's. The beer's helped to ease the heat, bumps, and exhaust fumes. Hey...we were working and paying our bills. Live music is the best!

Umm this was amazing and brought back a ton of memories. I'M NOT CRYING YOU'RE CRYING

Ahh, the "glamour" of indie rock. This made me nostalgic.

My band from Seattle did this west coast tour... Seattle, Eugene, Los Angeles, Oakland, San Diego, San Fran, Inland Empire (I forget the town), Portland, Arcada CA, Vancouver. In that order. 🤣

First time out in '93 we did roughly 11,000 miles in just under 6 weeks. 9 guys (2 bands) plus a shared set of equipment in a van. Only 1 punch thrown the entire time. It was in my face. Went out again the next year with the same guys. Next 2 years by ourselves, just the 4 of us. Every tour was absolutely fucking horribly awesome. Some of the best times and memories in my life. Maximum Rock and Roll, Book Your Own Fucking Life started it all.

Driving for hours and hours and hours, playing the show and staying in a motel that Norman Bates would be afraid of....... ahhhh those were the days.

Touring seems rather different in the US than it is in Canada. That said, I've experienced some of these awful things - and others, besides, but my experience has, on the whole, been a lot better than what I've heard in this doc. I will admit that I haven't toured much in quite a while, but I was on the road fairly steadily from the early 80s into the early 2000s. Until Covid, I was still able to make a living playing music... it's the only job I've had in 33-odd years. But good job on the documentary, Eric... most enjoyable in a masochistic way... ;-)

Thanks for the film Eric. Loved it. In the early nineties when touring our Am Rep releases we would rent a new Ford Econovan and once across the Hudson, crawl underneath and disconnect the odometer. Our bass player Henry paid a speeding ticket once heading north in California but we avoided paying for tens of thousands of miles over the years.

As girlfriend of a locally known musician, it is not a glamourous life even in smaller scales. They are people and it can be stressful. And the majority realization at some point eventually becomes " Don't want to play this gig, but I need money." Love him regardless

That description of St. Louis basically sums up every experience I’ve had there, shows or otherwise.

Haven't toured for 20 years but it appears as not much has change. Thank you for getting it totally right!

already laughing my ass off in the first 10 minutes, Ahahahah GREAT job EDIT: "ALMOST FAMOUS" VS "THE ROAD" OOOOOOOOHHH MY GOD AHHAHAHAHA Edit #2: This is legitimately the funniest and best documentary I have ever seen on ANY subject, EVER. THE. BEST.

I remember people coming up to me in some god forsaken place when I toured with my blues bands and I'd hear people shoot me a compliment, then talk about how they wish they could play and how awesome it is to be in a band going to different places every night, meeting new people, seeing new places. At which point I'd say, "Thank you! That's so nice of you to say that.", then I'd go about educating them on the reality of my shitty touring existence. The bad food. The late night drives. The fear of having your gear stolen. Having your gear stolen. Van breaking down. Trailer bolt frozen. Not being able to actually do any sight seeing. Worried constantly about where you're going to use the bathroom and sleep. Sometimes there being no accommodations meaning sleeping in the van.. which sucks. Especially for our bass player who's built like a house and is 6'2. Not enough room for him and the snores he'd let out would set off the richter scale a state over. Pretty much living on an emotional scale that went from mild amusement to boredom to absolute misery, until it's time to play. Once we got to playing, all that stuff would disappear for 3 hours. Then another hour of mostly forced smiles and saying hi to folks and socializing and making sure to thank the owner so that they'd be motivated to let you play in their joint again. Then packing up your gear. Finding somewhere to sleep.. and on it went for months. At the end of my discourse, they'd ask, "Well.. if it's so horrible, why do you do it?". My answer? "Because I can't help it." Great film thanks for posting :)

I have to say being in a mid level touring band living around Vans, Friends, Floors.. I am still laughing at the the name of the video. Its perfect. If you've lived it, it will hit home. I asked myself that question many many times on the road. I would be saying to myself "Im still broke, but now Im lost, Im in a shitty van and about to get shot at. Wheres the club?" Then I would show up and they didnt't put the posters out.... I ask for the payment right away and get the "Its on they way down" then dude tries to wheel me a gram of coke... I knew what type of night it would be. It would usually be at that point I would say "Why am I doing this again?!". Another time we played a hall with 200 people but we sold 35 tickets. PS - I love the 100% Dave Grohl Free Disclaimer. Amazing guy, and its more of the media side but he's fucking everywhere.... I cant get a glass of milk without hearing or seeing something about Grohl.

I have played music and toured off and on for almost 50 years now. Too many stories... But the highlight was taking my boat to Cuba in the early '90s and hitch hiking around the country with my Ovation 12 string playing with local bands. The safest place I have ever been, the nicest people and beautiful girls. 😊

I watched a documentary about a bridge from which people would sometimes jump. This is more depressing. A few good laughs though and nicely produced. ❤️

i see some of my favorite bands touring all over the country driving from city to city in a tiny van taking turns driving while they drive with a U Haul trailer hooked up to the van. it really looks like a crappy time doing that but i respect the hell out of them and anyone who is that commited to their craft.

The Melvins, with Joe Preston, stayed at our house in West Palm Beach after playing Melbourne FL (early 90s). The next day Buzzo was sick and had to go to the hospital. They had to cancel their Miami show. Our friends jokingly blamed us.

What a brilliant, true to life film this is. My own stories raced through my head watching this.

Fully in the spirit of what I remember it to be... a little of (almost) everything. This is going to be watched in full soon- good on you Eric, for making this!

Lovely film. I've lived every minute of this movie and now I'm so ready to hit the road again. Thanks Eric.

Gotta give credit where credit is due. The director promised no Dave Grohl and delivered! (Plus, this was a great film!)

me and my lady bassist were playing and this guy with his lady come up to the stage and are like "Do you wanna be in a reality show?" he was all excited and I think he was a producer or something. We both just shook our heads and said "no".

Making my little songs in my living room is stressful enough....no way I would ever go on tour...I'd freak the heck out first leg, 100 percent. I love returning to this doc from time to time....as I've always admired the pirates who strike out and give it a go.

Thank you for making this, Eric, and all the people who collaborated. I watched the whole thing. I relate to this on every level; you captured all the highs/lows of tour and the end was the real payoff: its tough to articulate unless you've done it, and the reason behind it is something that can't quite be understood until you've played for nobody and then hundreds of people. Bravo!

65 year old retired musician here. In my day, touring could be a nightmare but there was truly so much venue you did get paid.......and laid, for as long as you could stand it. Some did it for decades! But toward the end, like when the Internet and that ^%$$^^^^ Napster came along, it got to be exactly like this video for all of us except Lynard Skynard. I love this video! Thanks so much!

It’s kind of amazing to me that some people apparently manage to do this with young kids in tow… Like, how????

I’ve toured millions of miles. Van broke down as vans love to do so Myself and 3 band mates had to ride 10 hours in grandma’s attic in a U-Haul. So About hour 5 we introduced beer into the environment. About hour 7 we were dancing in the back. Hour 10 and I was a little more mentally deranged than I was at the start of that insane adventure. Great times in my life.

This is a genius perspective of what it takes (or used to take before the internet) to get your band out there. The van was life. Awesome stuff!

30 years in the trenches. I was built for this.

I went and saw Tight Bros From Way Back When play the Showbox in Seattle back in 2002 or 2003. They opened for Jon Spensor’s blues explosion. I ended up scraping what money I had left and buying one of their vinyl singles they were selling. Best concert openers I’ve ever seen.

Lol this same thing happened to me and my friends punk bands while driving through Montana also our van broke down and 12 of us had to cram into the other touring bands van like sardines. We drove from Montana to Texas like that it sucked so bad but was so great at the same time!

Very nice. I passed this to my son who has for a few years been grinding the circuit. Reason why musicians do this, same reason we picked up an instrument in the first place. I don't tour but play in bands and yeah, even that has its downsides with personalities but beats sitting at home watching mindless TV. Thanks for putting this video out.

Don't forget to support your local bands so that Dan Mohr can afford a second T-shirt.

On the topic of early days shows: Christmas Eve 1981 my band played with two guys with a reel to reel, microphones and some audio visual. We once played a night in a Hot Dog Cafe that was closed. Played a gay bookstore once, but got shut down and moved the bands and 250 people to our house, which was a riot. Literally. :) We played a gig with Men of Clay and The Injections (San Diego bands) at a place called Uncle Sam's BBQ in East San Diego, and we were the only white people for blocks. Everything went cool. They thought we were nuts.

The van years....do they every stop? Years ago, went to Oklahoma from Nashville on a run. The keyboard player's dad had a conversion van he had just redone so we borrowed it and got a 6x9 trailer - no tags (van had a "towing package") - drive 12 hours to OK, play a show, crazy party after and the power steering pump starts leaking in the guy's driveway, then it's using oil, and the transmission started slipping (probably from towing the trailer). Next day, we play a festival, we leave at midnight to drive straight through 12 hours back to Nashville. I drive 5 hours through torrential rain. We stop for gas in Arkansas. Someone takes over driving. We pull into the parking lot of the singer's publishing company in Nashville where we had all parked our cars, and literally as he put it in Park, the transmission falls out. The van wouldn't go forward or back so it sat right where it stopped for about 4 months. The current act I tour with flies most places and we still rent a van now and then. Sprinters if we can afford it. Chevy's if we can't. I hate the new Ford vans where it's all bucket seats and none of them remove. Pointless for touring.

I love this! It reminds me of tours I went on. We only went on a few. It was a blast and it was terrible and I'd kill to do it again!

This was done very well and I completely enjoyed it, thanks for sharing!

What a great documentary!! As one who toured (in the manner described in this film) for many years from the mid-80’s/early 90’s, I related to every ounce of this film. The drudgery, the euphoria, the weirdness, , asking for a place to crash at night from the stage, being in a million strange situations, the van (practically a member of the band), meeting so many super cool people, the connection, the exhaustion, tension, creativity and energy, painting t-shirts to sell from show to show.. etc.. this film flooded me with so many memories (mostly good!). So great.. sometimes we move on with our lives and forget our past…. Thanks for reawakening this moment in time and (for the most part) this particular joy!! Kudos amigos!!!

My keyboard player and I played in Canada several tours in a NON INSULATED 1979 Chevy CArgo Van. We finally got a plug in heater for our radiator so we would not crack our block in the snow. Unbelievable ❤️ this is some real stuff

Very good. The musicians were articulate, funny, thoughtful and brave hearts. I wish them all the best - keep on truckin’ and Bruce Springsteening 😉.

Every time I watch KEXP Live sessions (on youtube) I think about how life is on the road with all those small indie bands they showcase. This sounds about right.

I am glad this movie is 100% Dave Grohl free.

Great film! And that riff on the into track. So hypnotic. Love it!

Brilliantly done. As a long time touring band, we can relate to EVERY story in this film. 5 Stars plus an extra star for having a ton of footage of Hozoji Matheson-Margullis (crush)!

What a wonderful documentary, thank you. I shared with my friend who's in a touring band and he loves it, was gonna show it to the whole band.

Awesomely truthful video! I"ve toured in the mid 70s in Ontario. We were all in a cube van. In the winter. Fucking cold! Some of us would be wrapped in sleeping bags in the box of the van.We'd keep the door open between the cab and the box just so we'd get some heat. Driving south from Kapaskaping, there was so much snow on the road we could barely do 15 MPH. There were no other tracks in the snow. If it got rough on the right side, we'd veer a bit to the left. If it got rough on the left side, we'd veer a bit to the right. On the other hand, I toured in the middle late 90s in Europe in a bus that had been also used by the Tolling Stones. Funny thing, life.

I've seen this before and it's a good watch. I'm glad to see this pop back up on my feed, I'm going to watch it again tonight.

Any film that features not 1, but 3 songs from Nudity is a fucking classic! This is a highly rewatchable doc.

I love the 100% Dave Grohl free! mention

I’ve just started this. But this is amazing. Thanks so much for making this I’m a traveling theater actor. So I can relate in my own way. Really cool

'Almost Famous' totally perverted the idea of what touring really is.

I am a female sounengineer and I did a couple of tours around europe. even if those tours where a bit more comfortable with sleeping situations and getting payd and the quality of the venues and all that stuff I recognized every single situation you described in that film. It is all true and it made me laugh so hard. everytime I got back from a tour I thoth I never ever gonna do this again- it is so stressfull- I am too old- I don‘t want to be away from home again for such a long time-blah,blah. after a month I think yeah maybe one more time.…I know it is different to be the sound person because your not a full member to the band but I understand myself as a transmitter from the band to the audience and we are also part of the energy exchange and your going through all that situations and becom real friends to the members of the travelling party. I also worked in a club for many years as the local sound person and understanding what the band is going through on the road makes me want to feel them really welcome at the venue and everything is well prepaired when they arrive. more people shoud watch this and estimate the efford of playing live music!

What an amazing documentary! 👍 I always wished I'd have been part of the R&R world, rather than the ultra dull corporate world, but the rock life is definitely a harsh, cold, cruel mistress. That these small, barely known bands submit to this painful existence in the hopes of making it big, says much about their heart, dreams, passion, & endurance. After all, how DOES a band break out into the big time, what does it take? Well...a lot of this stuff in this video, and even then, there are never any guarantees. You have to be a VERY driven type, very passionate about your craft. It's a brutal life for sure. God bless *all* these folks. ❤🙏💔🎤🎸🥁

Really enjoyed this. Love the end credit, those guys were killing.

I was not in a punk band at any point, but for 40+ years I made my living playing in mostly cover bands in animal clubs (Eagles, Moose Clubs, local dives, etc) 4 to 6 nights a week. also did tours like this doc shows with original hard rock bands, and this doc hit it on the head.....Thank You for posting it!!

I felt every bit of pain sorrow and laughter that was portrayed in this documentary while describing touring LOL really good documentary glad I got it thank you algorithm

It’s amazing how a lot of these stories resonate. The singer in my band got robbed at gunpoint after a rehearsal. Great fun.

I just typed “why am I doing this” in the search bar and came across this. I clicked on it of course but.. now that I’m watching this, I really am wondering.. why am I doing this..

Amazing doc. So relatable for any DIY musician.

Stumbled on this last night and figured I’d check it out until I lost interest. Ended up watching all the way through the last credits. Loved it. Great work.

I can’t stop watching this. Over and over. Well done Sir!!! Even started checking out the bands music. FKN DEDLY Can’t play or write shit, but i would happily be a roadie/driver for free just to be a part of a nationwide tour

One of the greatest things I’ve stumbled across on RU-vid. Really entertaining!

Working the door back in the late 80's, used to charge $12/15, and regularly pull over a grand for several local bands.Ironically, these unknowns used to draw harder than up & coming national acts like Blues Traveler or Phish (prior to their becoming big). On the other hand, I remember Metallica drawing 20 people in tiny NYC and Connecticut clubs charging $5 ; the scene was much different before social media. I never harbored any illusions about touring with my own band, and at the time, it was a hindrance to moving forward.I like travelling, and seeing the country, but touring just sucks unless you've got the money to do it right.And you have to find the right people, or it's about as cool and romantic as drug addiction.It's hard to get excited when it's costing more than you made; you can't lose sight that in this case, economics aren't the proper measure of success. Some good general life advice, and advice for keeping a band together.Endeavor to be the guy who lets everything roll off; talented people are usually quirky, and often outright neurotic or annoying.Look at it like test to become the better person, and make it a goal to try to help others be better.Playing out is an unbeatable, addicting, experience,- but you do have to commit and be willing to pass up standard operating procedure.Most give in early, and return to the world of marriage, mortgages, and kids, thinking they're missing out.Personally, I could never relate to such concerns.

So much fun to watch. Absolutely loves these people. Thank you.

I saw the runtime on this and thought 'I'll never make it', but I'm charging through this and truly enjoying the experience. Great work, all involved!