Why Are Dutch People so Direct? | Easy Dutch 33 

I really love to watch the reactions from people from other countries about the Dutch directness! It is a shame that many cultures experience our directness as rude. let me assure you, we don't mean to be rude! The dutch directness isn't about correcting or belittle people. We find it very helpfull to be straight to the point, so in every social engagement both parties know what to expect and therefore leave very little room for misconceptions or miscommunications. I understand that it can be interpreted as rude in some cultures. for example, if a friend calls you, asking if you want to hang out, a Dutch person might say: "No man, I don't feel like hanging out right now. Maybe some other time." or if someone has something between his/her teeth, we are not afraid to say: "I'm sorry but you should brush your teeth or get a toothpick because you've got something between your teeth." You might get offended by this directness. But would you really feel better if we served you lies, or let you walk around, interacting with other people, with a piece of spinach between your teeth? :p I see the Dutch directness as something really helpfull and efficient. And I really hope that people from other countries can see it like this as well! :)

If you think people are rude when they tell you they don't want a cookie or a piece of cake with their coffee, then life in the Netherlands will be very difficult for you.

i loved my time in the Netherlands & found the people straight, honest & friendly

Wow that lady in the blue shirt speaks amazing Dutch! There are some very minor things that give away she might not speak it natively, like "de karakter" but for the rest she has an amazing command of the language and figurative speech (words like achterbaks), and very good pronounciation

I speak Afrikaans as a second language and it amazes me every time how close these two languages are. Its about 80%or so similar and also very direct which most Afrikaaners prefer. Beautiful language ❤️

I like the fact that the Dutch are open and direct in their behavior and speech. This is an admirable honesty and the basis for building good friendships.

I am Dutch-born but live since 1967 in New Zealand. When I go back to the Netherlands it hits me how direct the Dutch are compared to New Zealanders.

Being direct is not a problem. Being disrespectful or aggressive is. You can be direct and still be genial. Why give opinions about everything? (I'm a naturalized Dutch Canadian.)

I,m Dutch myself and sometimes I think: Be nicer, what did I wrong you are so unfriendly to me.... ? In the east of our little country I think people more friendly. And Amsterdam: I worked and lived overthere and I love that City and the people. ! In the city I live now, people are more by themself. Not making contact very easy. I changed houses very much, for work, but every town has his own things of making contact. Figure it out.... And enjoy all of it overhere. Have fun and be Lucky ! Whereever you are in the world. Make Love, no war....

Hallo allemaal! Allereerst, kom ik uit Bulgarije.☺ Ik woon bijna 7 jaar in Nederland. Het kostte me 3 4 jaar om de Nederlandse taal te leren. in het begin waren de mensen de taal en het dagelijkse leven te moeilijk voor mij. maar nu ben ik blij en gelukkig met het leven hier. ik hou van de Nederlanders en ik hou van hun houding ten opzichte van buitenlanders. nu ben ik in een staatsbaan dus ( ik werk in winkel bijna 1 jaar). mijn collegas zijn nederlanders en ik vind hun gedrag ( meest van de nederlanders) heel aardig. met één woord kan ik zeggen dat de Nederlanders erg geduldig zijn,😍 want als je iets niet begrijpt en het is niet duidelijk voor je, staan ​​de Nederlanders altijd klaar om je te helpen, het maakt niet uit hoe vaak je het ze vraagt. ze worden nooit nerveus en schreeuwen niet tegen je. ze staan ​​altijd voor je klaar. dit vind ik het beste.✌ Ik had moeilijke tijden en conflicten met andere nationaliteiten hier in Nederland, maar ik heb nog nooit iets slechts van een Nederlander gezien. ik ben trouwens blij dat je dit kanaal hebt geopend. wens je geluk🤗

I am Anglo Dutch and was born in New Holland [Australia] to a Dutch father and Anglo - Saxon mother. I have inherited the Dutch directness through my father and it is a part of my character. I appreciate that directness is more honest than beating around the bush like English do. It has sometimes got me in trouble in Australia but that is because most Australians are descended from British stock.

Dutch man: I love you so much Random woman: hey that’s too direct!

As a Dutchman I’ve often been told by people abroad or visitors from outside The Netherlands that they found me direct. Respectful but straight to the point. Personally I think it is just being efficient. Don’t talk with detours, it’ll only make it subject to misinterpretations, and that can lead to time loss and irritation. You can be very direct without being rude or disrespectful.

I have Italian family and if I ask something they first start to apologize and then come up with a story why they can or can not help me. We, most of us, Dutch, love to take the short cut and get to the point. Something my Italian family actually think is the best thing to do. However, I do love the extended way to an answer too. Makes life interesting.

I really love the lower pace and speed of the conversations in this video!

yes dutch people are really direct, I'm Indonesian .we have pretty big difference. I think if Indonesian meet Dutch people for the first time, they will be very surprised

Directness isn't the same as being rude or unkind. Of course it can be, but that is the exception. And of course it depends on how well you know somebody/how good your relationship is. Example: someone in the group has multiple time really bad breath. Now there are options (of course more then I give here). 1. you can politely ignore it. (this doesn't help you or him though) 2. you can talk to him one on one and just say it: Hey, I don't want to be an ass man, but do you know your breath is kinda bad? 3. you can blurt it out in the group: Holy shit, your breath stinks. Nr 3 is rude and unkind and normal Dutch people will not do that. But nr 2, yea. It may be uncomfortable for a moment, but I think it is the best for him. Now if it is a really good friend it would be something like: Damn! What did you eat? Can you breath on the window? I am sure it will melt and then at least we get some fresh air in.

I live in Germany and people here think they are very direct. Not as much as me though. In the beginning people probably thought I was rude. That is the downside of being a neighbor, people forget that there are cultural differences between the Dutch and the Germans. They just hold you to German standards and find you lacking. What I like about being back in the Netherlands, when people are friendly, they mean it. Not many people are fake or try to be keep up appearances.

« Saying what their heart desire » Much love for the Dutch ❤️❤️❤️

Smart... ND intelligent... An amazing poeple... I love netherland😍❤️

I love the directness and i love the planning and open mindedness.

I think it depends on the perspective. For example, if (like me) you're from England, where everybody apologises constantly for every little thing, then you may well perceive the Dutch as direct. But if you're from Germany (where I've lived for the past 9 years), directness is a normal means of communication and it won't bother you one bit.

If I can summarize my experience with the dutch is that , I work with them but I don't go out with them. I appreciate efficiency and directness for business but often I find they lack flavor and warmth

I am English speaking and studied Afrikaans as a second language so I can understand quite a lot of Dutch. I actually find the indirect communication of English speakers very annoying. I prefer to speak my mind. Other people seem to find this very amusing. I think I would really enjoy living in the Netherlands. I think Germans are also very direct, but as you say a bit more polite. I have been to Amsterdam. It is a beautiful city.

I forget the specifics, but one time I got on a tram in Amsterdam and the driver turned to me and told me it would be more polite if I did such-and-such. In such cases there is the passing feeling of being shamed and called out, but if you shift your perspective just a bit, it's possible to see you may have just gained a valuable bit of cultural information that you would likely never have learned in a less direct country.

Thank you so much for this video. I'm currently trying very hard to learn Dutch and this video was fascinating to listen to, translate myself, practice how your interviewees say words/phrases, and also how some people mixed Dutch with English. I recently returned from a short trip to Holland and hope to return with a more solid working knowledge of Dutch soon.

Yes, the Dutch are direct. And I think it is layered. There’s the side of being more direct by using less words or questions before saying or asking something. And there’s the side of voicing opinion, speaking up when not asked, such things. I traveled the US a lot and the directness is sometimes seen as a breath of fresh air, but sometimes also not very appreciated. Cultures might have their customs and social rules which the Dutch directness completely ignores / trembles upon. They will notice it, but they might not speak up to you about it. Whereas when it would be the other way around, we Dutch would say that we don’t do it like that. Once they understand the knife cuts on both sides and you can handle the directness back, and would like to learn, they speak up more as well. My advise is to apologize casually every now and then for the directness as being embedded in the Dutch culture, then they understand better that you’re not rude or disrespectful or lacking manners.

Dutch tend to be direct, but when you decide to “turn the table” and be direct with them some of them have a hard time to deal with it.

Ik ben leadership coach in de Verenigde Staaten. Verschillende van mijn Nederlandse klanten hebben gezegd dat het moeilijk is om eerlijke feedback van hun managers te krijgen. Ze willen niet alleen "Alles is geweldig" horen.

On the other hand, Dutch people are only direct when it comes to the negative never the positive. Being diplomatic or just able to communicate your thoughts without hearting or insulting anyone is an indication of high intelligence.

There is a big difference between the detach north of the rivers and south of the rivers. In the south of the rivers we are not direct at all

Once I ask an English person “Do you want my opinion wrapped and with a nice ribbon or do you want it right from my heart”, well, this was obviously far too direct. 😂😂😂

My family immigrated to Canada when I was 4. I have spent my whole life (I'm nearly 60 now) fighting against my honesty and directness. Canadians do not like it!

Maybe this directness also helped the dutch in international relations and trade? The dutch seem to be very good and effective in these business dealings.

I was born in Canada but half Dutch, half French. A Dutch friend told me last year (this is in Bangkok) he was not surprised I'm half Dutch as I was rather direct in my speaking. I knew I was too but never knew it was my Dutch heritage from my mom. What a thing to learn in my late 60s. 😂🤣

Lady with blue shirt at 11:50 seems like the sweetest, most gracious lady in the Netherlands lol! These were all great discussions!

Much of the Dutch directness is business-related: the habit of coming straight to the point in a meeting after no more than an introduction of the people present and the pouring of a cup of coffee or tea. In a business context, if the Dutch see flaws in a product or proposal they will immediately say so and elaborate - or say what might be needed to make it work, not react by saying it is "interesting" and "we will get back on it". Foreigners are also often thrown by the Dutch custom that everyone at a meeting table can freely express his or her opinion, regardless of rank - and the subject expert usually takes over from the Board member, who will often just sit back and listen. The Dutch furthermore have a politeness- structure in their use of language that is mostly alien to English-speakers, starting with the two words (polite and familiar) they have for the word "you". And of course the Dutch language practically never uses the Dutch form of "sir"and "madam" as a form of address unless it is to attract someone's attention - and "please" in Dutch is really only used in the context of desperation, as in: "will you please stop making that infernal noise!" Dutch politeness is mostly expressed by the simple use of forms like 'could you' or 'would you'. Directness - outside the realm of talk shows - very rarely takes the form of 'impolite' comment on someone's appearance or opinion, unless it is among very good friends.

I was interviewed in Dutch company for an international role. They asked me if I have worked in a Dutch culture. I said yes I have. They asked me to share experience- I said till the time my colleagues, superiors and reportees take my directness on par with theirs, I am fine. Note- that was my last round with the HR. And results are obvious. I don't know if this is right or

I have a good share of Nederlandse ("Dutch") blood, some Deutsch ("German") and some French. I find the directness of the so-called Dutch as to the point and honest. Unlike Anglophones that never mean what they say, and never say what they mean. While Anglophones love to lie to cover things up, both the so-called Dutch and German people are factual and honest. You mostly know where you stand with them.

Thanks a lot ❤ for the video

I'm learning Dutch but they speak soooo fast!:))

In business the Dutch directness is a good excuse to get good deals. Long term relationships appreciate the efficiency of leaving spurious politeness behind. What you see, is what you get.

Wij draaien niet om dingen heen maar we zeggen gewoon waar het op staat. Lekker helder en duidelijk. Als je ongelijk hebt, wat ook gebeurt, nadat je gezegd heb waar het op staat dan volgt het poldermodel... en dan kan je nuanceren tot je een ons weegt en dan zijn die botte Hollanders best te pruimen. Voor eromheen draaien moet je niet in Nederland zijn.🙃

The woman at 2:47 is correct. Another way to put it is they have no bedside manner or customer service. And... direct compared to who? The rest of Europe, well yeah... New York? No. But in my experience they are full of sarcasm and assume you are too. To me, direct means that you don't need to read between the lines, not that you're just rudely blunt. People here tend to misinterpret me because they are looking for subtext that just isn't there. How is that direct? I get along great with the Dutch people who don't do this.

8:36 is the most important line in this whole video and a common dutch phrase.

In regards to directness, I like that it makes Dutch people relatively honest. What I don't like is that it makes the culture a bit lacking when it comes to respect. I've lived in the Philippines where respect is very important, and I can understand how people can sometimes experience Dutch directness as rude because respect is not as important here generally.

Being "direct" is goed. Talking around the point wastes time, maar not everything needs to be said. There is a balance between direct and rude.

We found Liverpool quite Friendly too.

As an introvert , I like Nederlander directness. The Danes are strikingly similar to the Dutch people. The former Scouser is right about Liverpool and Northern England, his well spoken Dutch even has a hint of a Scouse ( Liverpool ) accent .

Yup that me, brutally honest. But it is not to offend someone, I want to know we are speaking on the same level. To get my point across.

I find it positive, in spain we are also very direct, when I live in england for a while I realized how direct we are, for example: when asking a coffee, in spain, we say: "give me a coffee" and we don't mean to be rude, its just a way to not lose time and go straight to the point. It's very interesting to see how people behave so differently all over the world, greetings from barcelona!

Richard! Wat leuk dat jij nu Easy Dutch aan het doen bent. Ik ben een trouw volger van Easy Russian en heb je daar zo nu en dan gezien als sidekick van Катя. Grappig dat de rollen nu zijn omgekeerd. Ik wens je veel plezier en succes met de ontwikkeling van Easy Dutch. Houdoe hè. Пока-пока.

How often do men ask women if they want to have sex (out of the blue, strangers). Are the women offended if men are direct like that? What is the success rate for this method of trying to get laid?

We zijn gewoonlijk duidelijk,geen gezeur , geen flauwekul , straight to the point , the best way

Leuk kanaal. Doorgaan ermee.

That short blonde young lady is adorable. That is all. Hah. No, this was a really good video, in fact the best Easy Dutch one so far.

Nederlanders zeggen dat ze direct zijn, tot iemand wie geen nederlands is (als ik) komt en direct met hun is... dan zijn zijn boos... hypocrisie

the man talking about Liverpool showing off his directness without releasing its beautiful

Geweldig om te zien dat mensen zo veel moeite doen om die vreselijk moeilijke taal te leren! Helemaal al, omdat iedereen diret Engels begint te praten ...

Im very direct and honest, ive been called rude and an asshole many times. Found out my grandmother i thought was French, was Dutch. Makes sense as now i have many dutch traits and personality.

Now I'm convinced that Dutch is the same as Afrikaans trust me

Come to Brooklyn NY.. I’ll show you the directness inherited by the Dutch 20X

I could feel the directness just flying with KLM lol, it was strange for me from the UK.

I agree with the woman who works in the shop....i see that Dutch people are normally honest but many times are not careful how to comunicate with the another one, it also depends of the individual "denk niveau"(thinking level).

The Dutch call a spade a spade, instead of tiptoeing around. This is what I prefer. The English ‘politeness’ can be rude or at least tiresome in it’s meaningless essence…

Hahaha I like the honestly of Dutch people

Het woord 'afspraak' is ondertiteld als 'promise' (belofte), maar hier wordt mijns inziens eerder 'agreement' of 'appointment' bedoeld. En het woord 'descriptie' is nogal formeel in deze context. Als het om RU-vid gaat, is 'beschrijving' veel gangbaarder. Gewoon om te helpen hoor! Want dat laatste keert waarschijnlijk in elke video terug. Succes!

6:43 I'm trying to teach myself a little Dutch, but with the speed at which this lady talks - I think I'll have to admit defeat. ;)

Because we have a small country to live in us Dutch people have learned to be efficient. Nothing to spill, no space but also no time. As for in other countries people come to work an read the newspaper first over a cup or two of coffee, Dutch people get their coffee from the machine and start to work right away. In such an envirement lots of fluffy wooly talk is not efficient. So we learned to tell you as it is right away. This had nothing to do with rudeness. But what the lovely man from Liverpool experienced in a bar is, also by the average Dutch people, considered rude! So don’t do that to people!!

Very refreshing! Perhaps I'm predisposed?

Wat een super leuk filmpje :)

Joh, Zeeland is ook zuiden en dat is/was toch echt behoorlijk gereformeerd hoor. En Zeeuwen zijn ook erg direct. Maar katholieken hebben het zeker minder. Die grens loopt vanaf de zuidelijke grens van zeeland, noord brabant, naar noord limburg. En das ook toevallig ongeveer de grens tot waaraan de romeinen gekomen zijn. In Zeeland (maar ws ook andere plaatsen) zie je dat behoorlijk goed, waar in Zeeuws Vlaanderen Terneuzen en de dorpjes daar omheen (Sluiskil, Zaamslag, e.d.) geen carnaval vieren, maar in Hulst, Sas e.d. wél. Dit soort dingen komt m.i. voort uit trots, zelfvertrouwen maar óók vertrouwen in de ander. Een no nonsens mentaliteit (van harde werkers, dat calvinistische) én het feit dat wij vrijgevochten zijn (of waren) en dus, weer dat vertrouwen in elkaar DAT we dingen open en eerlijk kunnen zeggen. Waar mensen onderdrukt zijn, of worden, daar KAN men niet direct zijn, want je leven hangt ervan af. En dat zie je direct terug in zo'n cultuur. In Japan is dat nog sterk en waarschijnlijk een waarde geworden. Maar ook in China.

Dit is grappig en leerzaam! goed bezig :)

Dutch people are so adorable...

I think the Dutch have evolved more regarding this, they grasp the goal and essence of communication and act alike, instead of making it a disrespectful, rude guessing game. Communicate as clear as possible, leaving as little leeway or voids as possible. If you want to play games, zip it and grab your nintendo.👴🤷‍♂

Dat directheid met straffen en kerken te maken zou hebben kan denk ik wel kloppen. Ook het gevoel van straffen is belangrijk. Ik vind directheid ook een goede eigenschap omdat je gewoon je mening moet kunnen geven. Mensen zijn daardoor eerlijker tegenover elkaar. Als je het gevoel hebt om gestraft te worden zul je niet zo snel je mening geven en dat kwam vroeger bij de katholieken vaak voor dat ze moesten biechten. Ik ben doopsgezind opgevoed waar straffen en biechten totaal niet in het woordenboek voorkomt. - That directness would have to do with punishment and churches could be true, I think. The sense of punishment is also important. I also think directness is a good trait because you just have to be able to speak your mind. People are more honest with each other because of it. If you feel like you're being punished you won't be so quick to give your opinion and that used to occur common among Catholics to have to confess. I was brought up mennonite where punishment and confession are not in the dictionary at all.

Blunt is honest, it saves time. And time is money and Dutch don't like to waste both. It is being pragmatic, honesty is always the best policy. Being true to your words is more important than being polite and beating around the bush. Mean what you say and say what you mean. If you don't wanna know, don't ask ;) Dutch proverb "" Doer maar normaal, dat is gek genoeg"" (Act normal, that is crazy enough)

5:51 dit is wel een belangrijk punt. Als je direct tegen elkaar kunt zijn kan je tenminste een goede discussie hebben wanneer je van mening verschilt, en kritiek niet te persoonlijk opvat. Maar je kunt direct zijn en nog steeds respect voor de ander hebben.

Mijn ervaring met directheid wat niet geapprecieerd werd was in Australië. We sliepen in een huisje terwijl we werkten op het land (frambozen plukken) Het huis was daarom gratis. Maar enorm oud en enorm stoffig, ooit ingericht in de jaren 70.. en daarna gok ik nooit meer wat aangedaan.. 😅 Het bed waar we in sliepen lag je zo krom als een banaan in, wat niet echt super lekker lag. Dus toen de eigenaar vroeg of alles naar wens was legde ik de situatie met het bananenbed uit.. maar dat was dus helemaal niet de bedoeling; dat ik echt serieus antwoord gaf. Ze verwachten gewoon; ja alles is goed klaar. Ze waren flabbergasted.. hoe ik het in mijn hoofd haalde daarover te beginnen.. Terwijl ik het helemaal niet onaardig aankaartte.. Ik dacht misschien kunnen ze er een keer een andere matras inzetten? Zo heb ik meerdere situaties gehad in Australië waar het niet de bedoeling was dat je ‘echt’ en eerlijk antwoord gaf op een vraag. Dat was wel wennen en veroorzaakte af en toe zeer ongemakkelijke situaties… 😅(verder was het er supertof hoor, maar dat viel me wel op..)

that woman on 1:30, shes saying it very beautifully

Dutch Canadians are great people.

I see myself at 7:50 😂😂😂

Depends totally on in which part of the Netherlands you are .. In the east not so much, very different from the ghettos of Amsterdam.

Bedankt

This goes for the people ABOVE the rivers Maas , Waal , Rijn . BELOW them in Brabant and Limburg people are more laid back and friendly , their way off speaking Dutch is much softer and more fluid , no hard G or RRRR . REMEMBER , Our country starts BEYOND Amsterdam !

I've also heard that Americans will be surprised if they ask 'how are you?' and you answer with anything that's not 'good'.

I prefer directness to people that want you to "read between the lines". Let's be adults. Obviously, it doesn't mean that you have to be rude. 😄

_Me being direct to my Turkish parents_ "Ouch! Ouch! Ouch! Id much appreciate it if you would stop hitting me with the belt!"

Ik denk dat ik als Nederlander wel sneller een persoonlijk gesprek aanga. Vertrouwelijkheid creer in een gesprek of misschien sneller persoonlijke vragen stel. Maar ik zal nooit ongevraagd mijn mening geven of iets zeggen wat een ander niet prettig vindt. Ik ben me juist erg bewust van wat een ander kan ervaren door mijn woorden. I think that as a Dutchman I am more likely to enter into a personal conversation. Create confidentiality in a conversation or perhaps ask personal questions more quickly. But I will never give my opinion unsolicited or say something that someone else does not like. I am very aware of what someone else can experience through my words.

I am Dutch but have been in Canada for most of my life. We immigrated to Canada in the 1950s. Canadians are not so direct and I find indirectness or keeping quiet more tactful. There is a certain amount of arrogance in Dutch directness. I believe it stems from the Reformation which developed in the Dutch a type of arrogance in the sense that their worldview and way of organizing the world is somewhat superior to others. The Protestant Ethic and the Spirit of Capitalism, I feel, has developed this world view of superiority and arrogance. I feel that Germans also have this world view. On a recent trip back to my natal country of Holland, one of my relatives, whom I had not seen for years remarked. "What ben jij kaal geworden!" That was the first thing that came out of his mouth instead of saying, "Heel leuk om je weer eens te zien. I was wearing a certain hat and another relative said, "Doe dat ding eens van je hoofd, Je lijk wel op een boer!" I cannot imagine a Canadian saying this to me. They have more tact.

As an Pashtun/ Afghan 🇦🇫heritage This is totally normal in our culture. But for example in iran,🇮🇷 is totally opposite, maybe sometimes you lost your friends forever just for being direct. That’s why they have TAAROF. And this DIRECTNESS is good especially in business, because sometimes you must reject something that you don’t want/like. I personally experienced that.(in business there is no shame) I mean,pleasing someone or saying sorry for no reason, it’s not good in our culture, because people think you’re crazy. And also being shy or not be able to defend your rights, it shows your weakness in our culture.

I think there's a small misunderstanding in our directness. As a Dutch person myself I sometimes tend to be a little bit to honest with people and say what I feel or think despite people's opinion of it. But that's mostly with people I've known for a long time. Family or friends. If a stranger comes up to me to ask something they wanna know or I have to talk to someone to ask a question I always stay polite without having to be "lomp" as we call it. Every Dutch person is different with how they communicate with other's. Some feel comfortable and confident enough to fully be themselves with however they interact with. Others like myself look at the situation first and who their talking to and then set the tone of the conversation. If the other person is very casual and relaxed and gives you green light to just be yourself and talk to them like some old friend then there's no need to run around the bushes and get straight to the point. So it's not that we Dutchies are always straightforward and direct it's about the tone of the conversation and the people we talk to. If that makes any sense. When I visit the doctor or the dentist I use a different language to communicate with them then when I hang out with friends or discuss something with my parents but if I've known my doctor for a long time and feel comfortable enough to be myself and the doctor doesn't talk to me as a doctor anymore but like themselves but still proffesional then it's unnecessary to be "indirect". So you have to read in to the conversation and how you can talk and then you'll be fine.

What a charming accent

Wait a second the first woman is my drama teacher named marije !!! Ps I’m dutch

A male prospect friend, asked me: " what are doing you"? I thought - litely panicing - oops, I doing three/four things at the same time here, when I gonna name all those things and why, that'll take me several, too much, time at that moment, words to find and type, I'll destract me from my focus I am now experiencing, so I said: "You don't want to know" Even more so because a few days before that, he asked me 'what I was thinking about myself' ... I thought: " even a therapist or husband wouldn't ask for your thoughts, so hey, who do you think you are, right now, in my life? Remember he was a prospect friend, in that stage of getting to know each other. The situation was, I send him two photographs of myself and he replied with three emoticons, 2 winking and one with tongue out of mouth, (plus the words: "lekker ding") I was insulted and wrote: "That is not how I see myself" thats when he asked me: "How do you see yourself"

As a western Canadian, I never found Netherladers to be rude when direct. Maybe if they are raising their voices and dropping F bombs I might find them rude. A lot of Alberta Canadians are comfy around Dutch people.

Can someone explain for me please? what does "Dat is bam" mean in 8:58?

Directheid/eerlijkheid wordt, ook door enkele mensen in dit filmpje, te vaak verward met onaardigheid, of brutaliteit. Vreemd. Je kunt heel goed direct zijn zonder iemand te beledigen. Ikzelf ben erg direct, maar dat betekent niet dat ik voortdurend mijn mening ongevraagd loop te verkondigen. Mij interesseert het überhaupt niet zo wat mensen dragen, maar als ik iemand zie die een broek draagt die ik om wat voor reden ook niet mooi vind staan, dan zul je mij daar niet over horen. Waarom zou ik? Tenzij je mij nadrukkelijk om mijn mening vraagt. In dat geval zou ik zeggen dat het mijn smaak niet is, maar dat het veel belangrijker is dat die persoon zich er prettig in voelt.

American here that does not speak a word of Dutch. I could not at all follow the actual Dutch people but the Ukrainian guy speaking Dutch I could pretty much follow what he was saying.

Is de invloed van de voorkeur voor directe uitdrukking te wijten aan het feit dat zij een volk zijn dat een Germaanse taal als moedertaal heeft? Vermijdt een klein aantal Nederlanders soms zoveel mogelijk de directe rede?