Just how the Internet works now. Most people only read headlines and form an opinion. Too hard to get our ADHD brains to focus on something longer than 60 seconds now.
This is the second time you've mentioned Tupac and his sexuality. I think it's a very interesting subject to dive into especially growing up with his music in my household. Are you really considering making a vid about it? Just saying this would be a dope video
@@hellaSwankkyToo It is absolutely an option. Years ago.. was it years(?) when WAP came out with Cardi and Meg, everyone was in a tizz....I haven't seen WAP yet by choice or even heard a good 30 seconds of the song. People act like they don't have a choice to be a part of certain things on the internet.
This! This right here is the comment 😭. I dislike her cuz I’m tired of hearing about their relationship. I don’t seek out any of this information but I can’t escape it.
It’s funny that you bring up Will as a role model of masculinity for black men. In one of my college sociology classes, we had a unit on racialized masculinity. We read a paper about how Will’s movie and tv roles represented a safe not-too-black masculinity for nonblack audiences - especially when he’s saving the world/empire, combatting terrorism, etc. Has roles like Hitch where he’s wooing not-too-ethnic women. It’s been years, wish I remembered more, but the essay blew my mind as a young college student.
What would you know, I found the old syllabus. Here’s the paper for anyone interested: Magill, David. 2009. "Celebrity Culture and Racial Masculinities: The Case of Will Smith," in Pimps, Wimps, Studs, Thugs, and Gentlemen: Essays on Media Images of Masculinity, Elwood Watson, ed. Jerfferson, NS: McFarland & Co.
@@jensendsflowersNot all heroes wear capes. I will definitely read this over the weekend. Yeah, Will was always the "Cosby Black" character that you described. Safe for white audiences and liked by Black folk. I never thought of him as the pillar for Black masculinity as FD stated. Everyone is doing thought pieces on this topic.
I also think Pac represents to her a time in which she was free and didn't find herself confined into that box that her husband and the black community made out for her. It was probably the last time she could make her own independed decisions and just be herself without public judgement. We always yearn for the good old days when we were young. Her loosing her good or best friend around that time, makes her probably look back on him, through the same lense of nostalgia. Especially if they were as close as she claims. Especially if he was really that kind soul, that she always speaks of. If I remember correctly, she said that he challenged her world view and made her think outside the box and see the world differently. So to her he represents her old nearly perfect world. The life she could have had, if she didn't marry Will. He's some what of an escapism to her. She is probably deeply in love with the idea of 2Pac and what he represented to her, but maybe she doesn't even remember the real Pac or she thinks she does. Which is ironic if you remember that Will married her because he liked the idea of her and them together.
That's a really interesting thought I never considered and I think it has merit. I assumed she romanticized her relationship with Tupac but never considered what the relationship meant to her. So basically we have two delusional people who refuse to see the truth of things. Interesting...
Perfectly expressed. I think shes definitely obsessed with what could've been. I also think she over dramatizes what it felt like because that makes a better contrast to the current reality that she clearly resents. And contrary to popular belief this clinging to what couldve been is alot more common than people are willing to admit....Jada unlike other people is doing it loudly.
Their entire relationship has been in the public eye. Y’all just want all the “positive” aspects of a relationship and don’t want to see any reality play out. Nobody complained when their kids were born. No one said oh that’s too much😂take them of that pedestal
@@maxsmart9116NOW. NOW y’all don’t want to hear about it at all. But for years they were considered THEE couple goals. Everybody (in general) wanted a “Will and Jada” kind of love. Y’all kikid and joked about them having an open marriage for years and then when it turns out to be more than likely, now yall don’t wanna hear it lol. Please be ffr 😂
Honestly, I think the problem people have is that there really isn't someone to blame in this situation - but it's easiest to blame Jada. They are both choosing to stay married even though neither of them is really getting what they want out of the situation.
This is the most balanced video about this situation I’ve seen so far. I always thought that the problems in their relationship didn’t start in 2020 but in 1997. Two people with fundamentally different values and attitudes about marriage just cannot be in a happy marriage together. But chances are by the time they realised just how unhappy they are they fell into the fallacy of sunk costs. They had already invested so much in the relationship and Will had already gone through a divorce before. It doesn’t help that Will has said that he doesn’t believe in divorce. But like you said at this point they’re deciding to stay together so they are responsible for their own happiness or unhappiness in this case 🤷🏾♀️.
Also is it that bad❓ Will's rage and incompetence when hitting Chris was embarrassing, Jada lack of self awareness and displaying her self-hatred by dragging Wills manhood is embarrassing But other than just looking a fool, and loosing money what has really happened❓ I mean Will and Jada can handle the financial cost of their relationship, they are both adults why should we care❓ Serious question, cause I've can't remember being this invested and interested in Will and Jada ever 👀👀👀 I mean this is what it must feel like to watch the cardashians 😂😂
More so than the sunk cost fallacy is the fact that Will Smith does not consider divorce an option for himself. Honestly, that makes me sad for him, as I feel he’d be much happier single or even with somebody else.
"Just because [emotionally abusive man] is every feminists nightmare doesn't mean [abused female partner] is a poor lil bay who needs help. She can walk away." How's it sound to you when we're blaming a female victim of emotional abuse who won't leave instead?... At least patriarchy admits that it's full of double standards. It doesn't hypocritically pretend to be egalitarian while being anything but.
@@JCPRuckusmen, especially black men , can never be the victim & are always at fault. did u listen to how he denied August Alsina from being a victim of Jadas predatory behavior. this is crazy
I think Jada is burnt out with maintaining their image as an ideal Black celebrity couple. It seems Will cares about his image, self-validation and whatever brand they as the Smiths have left, but that seems to conflict with Jada’s desires and who she is a person. Did Will marry Jada for who she is or what she can be for his career? Think about it: At the Oscars defended Jada, publicly calling her his wife BUT Jada said he hasn’t called her his wife in years. She said that his efforts were from a self-centered intention. This is a woman who intimately knows Will as a person, not as an image or representation that we have held on to for years. Imagine if the Black wives of famous Black men (activists included) told the truth about their relationship with them. There will be disappointment and a shattering of illusions. However I DO think they deeply care about each other and have a bond that has changed over the years. I think they’re still figuring it out and coming clean about the facade which I think will be and has been a struggle for Will.
I think in a sense, Will followed the "good black man" script that we get told from early childhood. And at the end of that you're basically told you'll be "rewarded" with a bride to finish out the fantasy. Sounds like Jada was his desperate attempt to complete the story. Not to say he didn't have love for her, he likely did, but she was also, at least the symbol, of his "prize" to being this admirable man to the public. Jada was stuck at a crossroads of comfortability and image. Living for herself and living for society. Having that farm would be living for herself, but she'd be "exposed" to society and their critique, especially passing up on a symbol of black masculinity and excellence like Will. And that's likely why she chose to be with Will, she could to an extent hide her true self behind the public image. But both choices have their cons. And the latter eventually ate at her until we started getting what we see today. Both are still holding on to something, but it doesn't seem to be each other. And I hope they can let that go, cause at least from a fan's end, the facade seems unveiled.
The only thing Jada seems to have done wrong is her inappropriate relationship with August based on his vulnerability. The rest seems to be people being mad that a woman isn't grateful to be chosen by a rich, strong, attractive BM when that's been sold as a fix for BW for a long time. The people who keep going on about the oversharing are literally following them and had no issue with reading all about them when they were black love goals, and will do everything but skip the stories on her. This to me is people being mad at a woman who seems to be publicly rejecting their own desired views and ideals on marriage and partnership, instead of people accepting that they actially don't know Will and they don't know Jada. They know their public personas, and Will himself admitted he pushed Jada into a life she didn't want, and his 1st wife called him out on his selfishness, which is part of why she divorced him. Imma need people to read Will's book
They don’t want to read his book and are willing to overlook noted tensions even with his own kids. Will was THE black Hollywood star the goal, the idol to many and they just don’t want to wake up to the reality that it was all an act. That every time they saw him be charismatic in an interview or film was all just an act. I remember on the Oprah show Jada talking about how Jaden hurt himself on set filming Karate Kid I think and instead of taking the appropriate time to heal Will had him on set despite Jada being like ‘but he’s a kid’. Jada was wrong for August but the hate towards her has little to actually do with that so much as being a part of killing the image of peoples favorite movie star. If Jada had just never had any side relationships and Will did and got caught he still wouldn’t receive an ounce of the hate Jada gets. No one would say “he’s embarrassing her” they’d just expect her to silently deal with it like when the Margot Robbie rumors (or truths) were going around.
Wills book still doesn’t justify Jadas blatant energy to drag Wills character publicly. Will clearly has a perfection issue, but he never disparages Jada publicly like she’s does to him.
Omg you took the words right out of my mouth!!! That's why I don't take these silly little male-ospher lames seriously. Cause they only want to bring up mens mental health whenever it can be combined with bashing women. In this case, it's Jada "cheating" on Will even though we all know the situation by now... Meanwhile, August over here having a crisis and ish, but since he's not a "high value man" and didn't present it in a "suitable" way, it's crickets. They just mad that Jada don't love Will the way they love Will. To me, the only victims in this situation are August and their kids. Will and Jada are grown people in a messy marriage of convenience. They've made peace with their lives together and have decided that it was enough to monetize their business to people that apparently don't care...
This marriage didn't start with red flags, it was a whole parade of sirens, and signs as high as the Empire State Building. That woman cried the entire day and he didn't think for a second that she might force herself? He probably did and simply didn't care. He himself went on to the table taking about how he was obsessed with the image of Jada, them as a power couple and what they represent within the black community. I get how they ended up in this, but they married now for nearly 30 years. There was enough time to divorce. We all know that things don't work out, Will's image as the "wholesome black man" that even the wyt folks loved is gone. Gone is the myth of pictutre perfect family. The last ounce of respectability that Will had, he lost that moment he went up on stage @ the Oscars. So I truly wondering what is keeping them together like that, maybe religion? They've been seperated for years, the kids are old enough and everything that kept them in the marriage is gone, besides their money. Someone said on twt that they are just like our aunties and uncles, our parents or grandparents who refused to get divorce, even if they haven't spoken with each other for nearly a decade. Jada and Will just have fancy words for it. I laughed loud, but there is a lot of truth to it.
Will Smith said that on the Red Table Talk that he even tho he was in a loveless marriage with his first wife and fell in love with Jada while married he refused to get divorce and was forced to when his ex wife filed during Valentine's day. That's not about money or even religion. He sees divorce as a failure and he said countless times it was never an option for him then or now. They also said "bad marriage for life" . Ppl do it in real life with less money. Money is not the issue. They don't have a prenup so Jada is gonna take half of it she files. She can go. Nobody is forcing them. The kids are in their 20s too. Will is never going to do it bc of his views on marriage since he was young
I see a lot of “pro-marriage” conservatives shitting on her… but like, she’s the blueprint for keeping a failed marriage together for family and ideology of the family. And like, sure, their scientology might play a more forceful role in that, but she’s still doin exactly what they say women divorcing their shit husbands aught to do instead😂
@@DedHedZedbut do you see how most if not all of this could be avoided if they just got divorced? They’re a great example of the resentment that builds when two people force themselves together, it ends up coming out in these toxic ways. The only difference is that most couples don’t have the platform Jada and Will do so their abuse happens behind closed doors.
But that works vice versa. Will did everything they said a wealthy black man is supposed to do(marry within the race, put his wife on a pedestal, publicly show affections and loyalty, provide for his family financially). This where the conundrum lies for many black ppl on this situation. He did what he was “supposed to do” and yet still, his intent is being put to trial and he’s being viewed as being overbearing for trying to “force” a BW into idealized black power couple dynamic that BM celebs and athletes are often criticized for rejecting. Damned if you do damned if you don’t for BM.
@DedHedZed But it's OK when Will Smith does it??? He wrote a whole book, 2 years BEFORE hers, where he talked about CHEATING on her. The hated for Black women is almost palpable.
I think it's also very important to point out that Jada did not solely emasculate Will, she certainly embarrassed him but the INTERNET emasculated him as soon as it got the opportunity too and basically blamed Jada for the impulse to turn everything into a fucking meme. For all this "concern" and talk about how "Will is trapped" or "how could she do that to him", all these same dudes were taking the still shots of Will almost crying and using them as reaction images for dumb shit. Also Pac (and most rappers IMO) was probably pan.
From what I've absorbed from his book, Will went into that relationship already carrying a lifetime of emasculation: From his self-appointed shame in his inability to protect his mother from his violent father, from kids at school for not being cool, from Hip Hop culture for not being street, from the black public in general for being what they call "the safe negro", from social media for (apparently) being the diametric opposite of Tupac, and any failures in relationships along the way. So all Jada did was break the camel's back, really. Although, I doubt both the concern and the online mockery of Will literally came from the same dudes.
You’re so on point! The over criticism of Jada is at a ridiculous point. Her and Will wasn’t trying to force their relationship/ living style in the public but we’re trying to be transparent as a celebrity couple. I think Jada spilled a little too much but it wasn’t something that harmed the community or culture.
Everytime August Alsina is brought up my heart literally breaks. Sure, he was legally an adult but he was so vulnerable. Jada and Will are the architects of their own misery. Since Jada loves giving us so much unsolicited information about their marriage I just would like to know why they're still married
my opinion is that the disentanglement of assets (real estate, investments, their production company, etc) would be too much work and potentially disadvantageous to both of them.
@@asdf242 that's a factor for sure but I also think it's personal as well because I think she's wanted a divorce says way before all those assets were involved and he was like PLEASE NO ANYTHING BUT THAT. which from our purview is bonkers and ofc only adds more resentment for Jada to harbor. it was only a matter of time before all this mess surfaced imo and it's finally happening cause mid life crises are a real thing yall.
And yeah, he wasn't teenage boy but he's still pretty young compared to Jada. She's old enough to be his mother, and that was her son's best friend. That's what makes it weird.
What I get out of them is that marriage is hard and hetero-normative monogamy isn't for everyone, especially when you are Black and got married for love, but that isn't always enough. Especially when you didn't want to get married in the first place.
Yea, celebrity marriage is hard, but Jada & will held themselves up as traditional relationship goals. That was for respectability, bc being married with a happy family made them more palatable to “mainstream” audiences. Anyone who builds a career on that & doesn’t follow the rules gets roasted. It’s impossible to go from devoted wife/ mom to poly feminist who’s “entangling” your son’s friends & expect no call-outs from your audience
Just starting the video & excited to see this comment (fan of It's Lit elsewhere) & the August part doesn't sit well with me due to the cold seeming discarding of a whole person & potentially grooming kids' friends like yikes. Other than that though... Which is big but everyone was legal & capable of consent so...
this video presented me with so much-needed context. Part of why I had such a visceral reaction to this whole thing is because I blindly bought the idea that these two came into this marriage wanting all the same things so whenever Jada spouted something new I just read it as a betrayal. In any case "unfortunate" is a fitting descriptor for this marriage. No matter how perfect something seems on the surface it might never be enough.
I doubt he was actually gay but would like a deep dive in that topic about 2Pac. Considering the time he came up in of hyper black masculinity he was outspoken about support for LGBT people.
It's not the most known thing but Pac was a theater kid of sorts. I have no idea if what you're saying is true but him being more positive than the common man on his thoughts around LGBT matters would add up to me considering that
@@yassine8935Wait its about Tupac being misogynistic. The way he worded it made it seem like Tupac was gay. Tupac talk about how he loves women. Maybe he has that nice guy brand of misogyny like Drake.
@markstriker925 That's kind of a weird assumption to make. Just because a man doesn't like women doesn't automatically mean he's gay. If that were the case, that would mean all the cishet men of all races that casually hate, disrespect, and dehumanize women are secretly gay. It would also imply that all gay men are inherently misogynistic because they "don't like women." The term you're thinking of is "Not interested in women," not "doesn't like women." And yeah, some gay men could be misogynistic assholes (Milo Yiannopolis, Perez Hilton, Jeffree Star... I want to say James Charles, although I haven't heard of being blatantly misogynistic towards women, he does give me the vibes of a gay man who would make casual misogynistic/vaginophobic comments right in front of his lady friends or casually grope them, only to laugh off any serious issues they might have because as the "Catty Gay Friend" he thinks that gives him a pass to say and do what he wants)... but Gay does not equal misogynistic. It's also incredibly limiting to a binary umderstanding of sexuality where "likes women equals straight" and "doesn't like women equals gay", because it doesn't take varying attractions into account like Bisexuality, Polysexuality, or Pansexuality meaning a man could still "like" or be attracted to women, while Asexuality still counts for a man "not liking" or being attracted to a woman. Just as well, it's extremely fucking exhausting how so many people still lean on the stereotype of "Oh this person/celebrity was a theatre kid, so of course they're LGBT+!" 🙄 Yeah, a lot of us were theatre kids, are grown-up theatre kids, love musicals/Broadway showtunes... and yeah, we'll joke with each other about it like how the Lighting Designer always ends up being a butch lesbian with an obsession with flannel shirts, but there's a difference between community in-jokes and outsiders relying on stereotypes as proof/evidence of their assumptions and then running with it and attempting to convince everyone that this coincidental circumstantial evidence definitively proves this thing about a person. Because what it tells *us*, is that y'all just see us as these stereotypes and tropes, and not as whole people. It's pretty obvious Fiq was talking about Tupac's inherent misogyny/misognoir when he said "Tupac didn't like women." Also, it's 2023. We ALL should know by now that just because Tupac or any cishet men that sing/speak/rap/write/tweet/etc about how much they love women, they can still be misogynistic. Hell you can see it from The alt-right/The Right, incels, and men that label themselves as "Classic Liberals"/Moderates/Centerists of any race, creed, background will claim to "love women" (or rather are sexually attracted to them), and STILL just casually disrespect, insult, and dehumanize them for daring to live outside their restrictive binaries of how women should exist for them. This shit is nothing new or surprising. We've known this for a long time!
What you said about August is my biggest take-away and issue too. I don’t do a lot of celebrity gossip, so I didn’t know he was Jaden’s friend. But my first thought was “wait. Why/how is she dating someone so much younger than her who is seemingly nowhere are rich/clouty as her”. And it got worse when I found out he’s friends with her son. That power imbalance was always my worry
Will openly admits in his recent book how shitty of a father and husband he’s been over the years. Idk why everyone is upset with Jada for backing up his claims.
yes!!!! People didnt read the book and are shocked about what's coming out..readers BEEN knew this. She mentions her issues on red table talk. So I guess people don't read and don't listen. It's all selective
the part about protection is very eye-opening for me. I've always been wary when I see women being outspoken in their protectiveness over their husbands/boyfriends because I saw it exclusively as a service to patriarchy. But seeing it from another angle, that partners have a reciprocal duty to protect each other from the hate of other people and to protect each other's soft spots, that's having a profound effect on me.
It's the fact that she is doing a drip feed of how bad her family life is for attention. The entire time you can see how it's affecting her husband and she keeps doing it and she won't just leave. That's evil.
@@phoedahoe5370 she has been obsessing over a dead rapper she used to be with while in a relationship with will. she is the only reason we know anything about their marriage due to her red table show. I really don't see how will did ANYTHNG wrong except not divorce her 10 years ago lol
It’s the easiest thing in the world to take a beloved celebrity’s side and vilify the much less famous person who hurt their feelings. But Will Smith is a narcissist. You can’t overlook that. His world revolves around himself, and his feelings are the only ones that matter to him. In fact, he’s so deep in his own feelings that he was the one that first proposed that Jada tell the world about how she slept with someone else _when they were separated,_ because in his mind, it’s still a betrayal even when _they weren’t together anymore._ He took that personally and wanted to shame her for it. He expected the world to drag her, even though she didn’t do anything wrong. You don’t owe your ex an explanation for your post-breakup sex life. But in Will Smith’s mind, she should go to the grave only ever having had feelings for _him._ And guess what? The world did drag her. For doing something completely normal after separating from your spouse. And Jada is the kind of woman who knows that, and wasn’t ashamed to admit to it and be **honest** and **transparent** with not only Will, _but the entire fucking world._ Just to try and soothe Will’s busted ego. She’s not dumb, she knew she’d be called the cold hearted slut, but she did it for him anyway. And the world somehow hates her for telling the truth at her own expense for him. And it’s easy to call a woman a slut when there’s no equivalent term for men who sleep with more than one person in their lifetime. You think Will Smith never slept with anyone else? Quite possibly even cheated on her? Please.
Exactly! Everyone is staying he’s only tried to protect her but if he was he would have admitted his affairs too. That’s what bothers me. It seems real manipulative.
Yea sleeping with and manipulating your children’s friends is such great behavior. The woman can’t just take accountability for her actions, even if she doesn’t take accountability atleast stfu, we don’t need to know all these. Will is the narcissist but Jada isn’t when Jada continuously airs out her dirty laundry every chance she gets. Funny thing is, she isn’t doing any of this for closure, she’s doing this for attention, controversy sells, her book is releasing soon.
@@davidbassey1341why the would women as a whole take accountability for jada’s actions? Does that mean now that men a whole should take accountability for will’s constantly cheating and selfish actions? Theyre a hollywood messy ass couple who find relevancy through making headlines, both have written “tell-all” books. Worry about being accountable to YOUR own actions not some celebrity
My mind is all over the place with this one. Like what boggles me the most is how she came out in her recent interview stating something like “ I just didn’t feel it was the right time for people to know our business” okay? Why couldn’t you have the same mindset when you decided to tell the world about her entanglement? Like she found that important for people to know? Wild
She only told the world about her entanglement after August told the world about her entanglement. It seems like she was just trying (and failing) to do some crowd control. Even if she didn't tell the world about her entanglement, she'd still be demonized to no end.
@@locsoluv94i mean, i think many people had a problem with her when they found out that she was doing it with her son’s 22 y/o best friend who she was 23 years older than who was suffering from drug and health issues while dealing with the deaths of some of his family members, which i thought was the reason why people had a problem with her
Because she is no longer relevant in acting and this troll culture likes dirt and gossip and thats it. So why not continue the dysfunction. Yeah, Wild, isn't it?
At first I was in the “she’s a horrible person” camp and now I just think this is all unfortunate and wish we’d stop learning about their personal life especially against our will, I hope they both find what they’re seeking
I used to defend her because they had an open relationship and he also saw other women. Now I found out that the other man was actually a boy who was friends with her kids, I will never defend her again
@@Lilyanna298 mind you it wasnt just that. He was going through emotional issues back then in various degrees and he took confidence in her guiding him; she clearly took advantage of his weak mental state. If Will had done that he'd have been cremated publically
Just dropping in here to say I really love the Light Work series! Poignant points, succinct format, informed yet opinionated, in 20 mins or less. I love your long from content, but this is really the sweet spot for me!
I've grown so tired of the discourse that I have pretty much shut down any particular take on it... But because it was you, I clicked. And you did not disappoint. Bro, thank you so much for always providing a nuanced, balanced voice in our currently highly polarized society.
@@jayloncollins9681 All attempts to talk about Will and Jada are speculation. Because we are neither Will nor Jada. That's how this works. And his speculation is not based on nothing. I suppose you either did not watch the video, where he engages with what Will and Jada said about their relationships in their own words, or you really need to keep re-watching for greater comprehension. Either way, have a good day, sir.
What's the thing I'm missing were all the 90s goat are gay now? First biggie, then jay, now pac. I've seen mad vids preaching this. Pac was about to go to prison before he died for literally rape of multiple woman. Saying he gay now is a stretch an a half that's filled with homophobic stereotypes if we being real.
Brah, please don't do any story that'll be another rumor mill/theory that will disrespect a person who is no longer here to defend themselves. I know your intentions may be in a good place, but let that man rest lol, especially when it seems like everyone else is already eating of his name carelessly.
as a therapist, I always appreciate the way you explain things for non-black folk to understand culturally what its like from a black man's perspective. thank you for your videos.
I’m wondering why ppl act like Will hasn’t has his affairs? Will admitted to being in love with Eva, they even kissed on the red carpet on the mouth, let’s not forget that model he was spotted in like 5 countries together a couple years ago, I think Jada protects his image more than he protects her’s.
"I think Jada protects his image more than he protects her’s." Yeahhh... no. Jada was doing one of these "Tell all's" on her podcast and brought Will in and tried to make him talk about it and he CLEARLY didn't want to and she just kept going. Like, I think it's pretty obvious the public humiliation is deliberate. Maybe revenge for all the infidelity on his end or something. I dunno. But she was pretty gleeful about it. Definitely made clear she's actively TRYING to destroy his reputation and is willing to let hers take a hit to do it.
@@grimmseti I think she's talking about the 25+ years where Jada DID protect the marriage and Will's image. All we had were vague rumors until Jada decided to do the Red Table Talk (with Will's permission I might add).
Looking back on it, Will always seemed like a big kid living in the fantasy bubble of being a star. He didn't want to deal with reality, probably to escape the memories of the rough times he had growing up... Jada, unfortunately, in all her brokenness, was the reality he could no longer avoid.
Yeah right, but you did cate enough to click on it, and comment too, with like 2 minutes after he posted so... You care a bit, just don't like to admit it.
@@blameitoncapitalism Could just be a FD fan too though (like I am). I got this popping up on me feed and I genuinely don't care about this drama. It's just these people's private lives. Most people have messy private lives. This is just out there for everyone to see sadly and unfortunately, the way social media works - it became more than their lives and rather something to dissect. Not saying that a whole lotta people didn't jump out with some of the worst takes on both sides (cause even if I don't wanna see this stuff, it's pretty much everywhere), but, at least for me and I assume for some, it feels like people just got dragged kicking and screaming into a show they didn't wanna watch. Genuinely, in the scheme of messy relationships I've seen, this is thoroughly mundane. It just feels like it's not, because they're famous. PS: Obviously, in any story there's a lesson to be learnt etc, I just feel like this didn't need to be something that people needed to take notes on. Alas, here we are.
I'm going to add to the mix that another reason for venom towards Jada is also because of her "lack" of conventional femininity (i.e. her Alopecia and her aging). She is no longer youthful and looks like how she did when she was young. From observations and from scientific research people tend to look down on / find it easier to dislike others they think are unattractive. Jada may have lost the Halo Effect.
I think it's the opposite. She's attractive enough to have gotten the highest of high values and she's grown older and she isn't on her knees grateful for being chosen
"Will cares so much more about protecting Jada, than Jada does about protecting Will." This is the key. Even if you don't love someone why not protect them. What's so terrible about Will that she can't even muster respect for him?
Probably the fact that she resents him for leading her into a life she never wanted. She's probably also a little mad a herself for following, I'd imagine.
I haven’t followed a whole lot of this story in terms of the gossip but I love how between this video and the video about Black Masculinity you’ve put into perspective the mental trauma that can cause men to lash out. Thank you for helping to open the discussion about men dealing with their inner turmoil and normalizing introspection.
@@ADubbs-fd8xfthe only love you need is from yourself. Feeling like you are in need of approval/love by others will only set you back and cause issues such as what Will is going through.
I'm an adult, and I've been in adult relationships. Emotions are difficult and people do stuff that they might regret or that society might deem as inappropriate and unforgivable, but I tend not to see things that way. Affairs, cheating, lies, mistrust, manipulation, it's way more common than society likes to admit and it's par for the course when it comes to a relationship that someone is unhappy with. People and their emotions are complicated. No one is perfect and unfortunately that means that people will be hurt. None of that makes a person unforgivable or evil. It just makes them human. With all that being said, why do I look at Jada and cringe? Because, in my mind and opinion, all of this comes down to a mix of abusive behavior and humiliation. I have no idea how secure Will Smith is in his masculinity; but even I, a person who has no problem being called gay, not knowing how to fix a car, hunt, or do a ton of "manly things" would start to feel pretty beaten down after being dragged onto my partner's wanna be Oprah show to be told "I finally had someone who could make me feel good" with no way to properly respond because you know that there's no way to do so without coming across as unhinged due to the cameras and editing. What makes Jada really dislikable here, and why it strikes such a chord with people, isn't the fact that she was unfaithful or has said that she still loves a past partner or whatever, it's that she's doing it all in public without any sense of remorse for even hurting Will's feelings. I think I'm pretty liberally minded in saying that relationships are messy, but pretend to feel bad for hurting the guy, at least.
The trail is all out there if you look beyond his Death Row Record years, which is where most people get Tupac's image from. There is a youtube short around here that shows Tupac's transformations across the years in 3 parts. In the final part is the obvious, "Women are golden" thing some people imagine him to be. In the second part, you get a "Bitches are bitches, and women are woman" which is just another version of Madonna/Whore complex that plagues women where they can only be virgins or whores outside of a typical marriage, dooming them to scrutiny if they are public about liking sex or having multiple sex partners. But the first part, is most interesting; as it's from Tupac's early years, possibly as he was getting into acting. He's not the "hardened" thug people remember AT ALL. He comes off as a theatre kid, soft or even sweet spoken, talking about women almost like a "simp" as we would think about it today. If you're reading into his delivery, some would even say he comes off as efemininate; this latter part is not talked about much, but if you look at how he dressed BEFORE he became the big time rapper, there is a "VIBE" there. We're talking Freddy Mercury from Queen vibes. It's no shade at all he accomplished, but the theory isn't wild that he was quite possibly gay or bisexual. But given the time frame (not long after Eazy-E's Aids contraction and rumors of homsexuality--whether true or not--homosexuality was not openly accepted within rap and hip hop at the time), it's very possible he and possibly higher management in music worked very hard to conceal his sexual alternative lifestyle. You can find the youtube short, I don't remember the name, sadly.
@@jamjox9922 If I google "Tupac gay" I know I'm gonna get a bunch of ignorant shit, which is why I'd love to hear FD's take on it. But the idea of Tupac possibly being queer is definitely not that outlandish of a claim to me.
@@jamjox9922none of what you said makes 2pac gay or even close. I fact what you said was low-key homophobic. He's gay/bisexual because the way he talked/dressed? How is what you said any different than the way homophobic people talk about black men who want to paint their nails or wear non gender conforming clothes?
@@leapofthefrogaccusing him of being gay is absolutely outlandish if he has no history of ever being romantically invoked with other men. Being an actor or drama school kid doesn’t make you gay. It’s just another way of trying to pigeon hole black men into playing into the hyper masculine stereotypes.
@@jamjox9922 Since when being a theater kid and not acting "hard" makes you gay or even bi ? That's subscribing to toxic masculinity. Prodigy was doing ballet as a child like Billie Elliot but black. Does that make him gay now ? How being soft spoken is an evidence either ?
Great video, that’s gentle yet holding Jada accountable while also being empathetic to her experience from a black male perspective! Like you said they’re both in it for the long run and we can’t change that. In their own words “we ride together we die together, bad marriage for LIFE” lmaooo but imma need that Tupac tea STAT
Fucking exactly. The fact Jada shrugs about that circumstance, how she met him, what she got from him I will eternally hold a shard of hate towards her with that
i think FD was doing out of respect since i can imagine some men might not like being label as a "victim". if august hasnt come out to say how he feels abt it i understand why FD would be more cautious abt his language
That part bc it's really crazy alot of people won't see how their relationship had a huge power gap and even weird age gap, idk if they had an open relationship I love nonmonogomy and it's not our relationship idc really , but it's extremely distasteful to not call him a victim considering how what he was going through and the relationship he had with Jada before it became sexual
@@unseenmolee Men not liking that label is a result of the patriarchy LMAO, he's much less cautious when he wants men to take accountability for their actions. Jada being a predator has already been confirmed.
As someone that works in the media, let me tell you, they’re always going to put controversial stuff out. What they say were at fault for feeding into it, I got to be honest that’s one way of looking at it. At the end of the day, though, neither will nor Jada are victims. Jada definitely ain’t victim. And will isn’t a victim either because he’s a willing participant. The fact that he got up and smacked Chris rock in front of the whole world over a bad joke, which is assault, by the way, And his wife didn’t even defend him and furthermore, they were separated. As we now know, makes him look like a big fool!
I did find it odd that after everything was said and done, there wasn't much from Jada speaking about the slap incident. And yet, now, she's out here denouncing Will as if he didn't attempt (in a terrible way) to protect her "honor" in some way. Of all the things to say nothing about, she chooses to stay silent on that. Will apologized for it. Chris Rock made more money from it. But I haven't heard Jada push for much on that topic, not even an apology or a word of public support for Will. Or if she did, it seems she didn't push it as much as she pushing this memoir.
@@jamjox9922 yeah, despite the fact that I think Will Smith was wrong for what he did to Chris rock, I would expect Jada to least console him. She did none of that. Of course, we now know that they didn’t consider themselves married at that point. Still, you would think after all this time, even if you weren’t in love with that person anymore, that that person called themselves defending your honor, at least stick up for him a little bit. But no, she pretty much the room under the bus. I would be thinking, and I know this is terrible to say, “woman, I just ruined my career to take up for your entanglement ass and you can’t even speak up for me? Chris rock is not the only one that should’ve got slapped that night!”
OMG SO well done! I wish you’d delved into the fact that Will’s impropriety and indiscretions are hidden to us but happened in Jada’s face, which may be why Jada got so tired of playing along. Coz he’s said himself that he DID step out. Considering how long they played the perfect celebrity family game
FD i will always admire how you examine a topic with the lense of structural societal factors, and look at how people came to be in their circumstances. You always provide a point that i dont think most people would consider. And you do so in an easy to understand way, which is hard. Thanks for your content FD!
Honestly at this stage I just find the oversharing annoying as well as the manipulation of the audience. It feels more like performance art at this point. Let’s strategically throw out bombs about our personal life to attract eyeballs to whatever money-making venture we have. Jada’s self-importance is tiring. Will isn’t as vocal and therefore it gives the appearance that Jada is driving the narrative, but no one really knows how he feels about all of this. They both seem like annoying hot messes at this point who come across as dysfunctional and self-involved. Making the mid-Atlantic look crazier than we already are. 😮💨😂
Performative & self-important are great ways to describe it. I’d add self-righteous & smug, as well. It sorta disappoints me that Jada, like most women on social media now, mainly garners attention by talking about her coochie & who’s had access to it. As a woman it’s just depressing to me that someone who’s led such an amazing life as her doesn’t seem able to attract attention by discussing anything else
@sg23148Why? Because she doesn't cater to the ideals u view as being those of a good wife? She's literally linked to 2 sexual relationships, one with her husband's knowledge, and one deep friendship with a male. How is she for the streets?
He's a grown ass man, who is choosing to stay, chose to marry her while she was sobbing, and continues to be with her, he said it himself he idealized her and the idea of her, that's on him. As for protection she's been protecting him this whole time, she never aired him out, never called him out his name, or made him less than, he did that to himself. All she's guilty of is not idolizing a man who everyone else seemingly worships.
I ate this book up. I cried like a baby. This memoir spoke directly to MY brand of womanhood and it goes down in my collection of the most influential books in my life. Your cliff notes don't do this page turner justice.
I’ve been trying to figure that out since the slap where my coworker blamed her for Will slapping that man. What exactly has she done to warrant this hate?
She's a woman who's not grateful for being picked. She's not a 'my man my man' girlie. Also, they haven't read Will's memoir so they don't understand why Jada's perceived resentment is understandable. I love Will Smith but I could never have been his partner. He made himself sound virtually insufferable in private
@@nik-at-nite - Do we get to blame women for trying to please their emotionally abusive partners without losing our feminist cards now? And if not, then why do we accept this double standard in an "egalitarian" movement?
@@nik-at-nitethat’s what I be saying!!! And honestly ppl can have reactions why was she not allowed to react to the joke abt her? And her face doesn’t mean will go lay hands on him, will is unhinged for doing allat
Whew, THANK-YOU for another simply amazing share. I love that you spoke about the result of NOT facing the broken fear-based/fear-mongering systems (think puritanical-colonist pathology) we view and treat each other with, that's part of the reason this so-called society is horrifyingly damaging and distorting of our lives on a daily basis. I know we are ALL ready and needing to hear the truth shared from everywhere we can, it's long past the time to be holding back with what we need to truly perceive, accept, heal, embrace, and celebrate each other on a soul and global level!
Theres a book called Think On These Matters, by Jiddu Krishnamurti. If nothing else, it's an interesting read because it makes you take several steps back and ask yourself why you feel the way you do about the things you do. Your predispositions, based on outside influence. Lots of other interesting stuff. But it lines up a lot with what you're talking about.
Here the thing Will Smith actions still hurt Jada. Will Smith slapping Chris Rock affected Jada the most. The black community especially was calling her all types of name. I think at this point they consider themselves life partners, they have beautiful children, family doesn’t always look the way we expected and it’s clear that they are partners. -Jada has a right to tell her story. Also saying she doesn’t love Will isn’t a fair critique. We cannot say whether she love him or not.
She made herself look bad for laughing after the slap. I know she said she thought it was a skit, but she should've told Will to stop when he was cussing at Chris. It came off that she was enjoying this.
@@j04370859 As a nervous/shock laugher, I hope people like you are not always around judging me in moments where I'm having a reaction that is an outcome of growing up an appeaser in a family with abuse.
this was the perfect take! the jada outrage coming from mostly black men and white women is actually terrifying. it’s sad that people can’t see that their entire family has always moved in a way to protect will’s image and his image only. it seems that they all slowly but surely are finding their way as individuals whether one agrees with what type of person they are or not. jaden has done it, willow has done it, now it’s jada’s turn. will is not a victim, neither is he a villain but the jada aka anti-black aka black woman slander needs to fu
I've seen more "golden retriever" white men who placed themselves way too much in Will's position attacking Jada over white women but sure we can tell who you have a bias for.
@@thomascross8339 hence the words “it seems”, “outsider point of view” “take” etc. at the end of the day, we are giving our opinions on people we don’t know from a can of paint and likely never will. i never said any of this was true…i gave my opinion, the same way you and the rest of the world does. have a nice one :)
I too do not follow this story that closely, but my thoughts have always been what you came to at the end. They both know the deal with each other and continue to choose it year after year after year. Neither are low on resources and support systems, they can end this if they wanted yet, they don't. So, positive vibes to them. Next.
This is the best analysis I have seen about this subject. Thank you @Signified for making this a real topic, and not a gender war conversation. I truly appreciate it. This should be required viewing for all brothers.
Hearing everyones takes on this situation when it was a hot topic was way too toxic of an environment for me to want to invest myself in the topic but you handled it so well great video
With this kinda context I do develop greater empathy for both Will and Jada. Its like being given an impossible problem, and being brave enough to solve it also means brave enough to hurt
Don't care, long as man has money and is getting pu55y, he's awesome Plus he "maintained a facade of successful black couple". Which you racists LOVE....
@darrengordon-hill Of course, a man's bad acting, bad faith, or bad pattern of behavior does not matter. If he can afford to be a terrible person, let's not point him out.
I disagree. My problem with Jada is that it seems like in her journey to find mental health or better herself has come at the cost of will health. I may be assuming but it seems like Will doesn't want his information put out there like Jada does. And I think Jada should have been more respectful of realizing that even though they're her problems that by putting it out there it was by nature going to expose Will problems and prevent him from being able to work through it healthily. She seems selfish and only cared about herself not being respectful of Will's privacy. I don't think will wanted to do the red table talk but had to in order to try to work it out with Jada.
Umm they have been separated for 7 years. Anything he didn’t want to do or needed to work out could’ve been worked out … y’all act as if he’s a helpless child just cause y’all love Will Smith as an actor and what he appears to be. Clearly, the public doesn’t know him that well. She has a right to tell her story, just like he did.
@@hmmm2564BM are always treated like fragile flowers who are at the whim of the evil strong BW. Will says nothing, and actually supports Jada, and suddenly needs to be pwotected by the internet
Love that you read and the book and held them both accountable. Thank you for acknowledging Will in the beginning of their marriage. She never wanted to be married. He wanted her to live his idea of life and marriage and she didnt want it. They both gave up a long time ago. Yes, jada coulda left long ago but didnt. Will was a bit ego driven and self-centered. People are arguing with the image of these people and internalized it and take it personal. They need therapy. They are not couple goals and their business is none of our business.
I didn’t get why people were so annoyed by her. People speculated about their relationship for so long. The moment she opens up people start crossing their fingers at her like she’s a vampire. She’s been showing Will that she didn’t want to be married and I refuse to believe Will is completely innocent in all of this. He got a thing on the side too.
Exactly! Will is no victim & he’s never revealed his relationship(s). He wants to act like he’s the innocent one. I don’t think he does this to protect her. It’s so she gets all the hate. He overplayed his hand with the slap though…his sad face on the red table talk was just good acting. I still love both of them & I can’t imagine having to deal with these issues in the spotlight as a celebrity.
@@ggu7r76gI don’t think Will “acts” like anything. Jada was just put on blast by August. If it wasn’t for the entanglement I doubt we would no about any of it.
And didn't he cheat on his last wife for Jada? Because I'm pretty sure he admitted that he had a crush on Jada while he was still married to his ex wife
Mannnnn that part towards the end about men having feelings and your partner wanting none of that, that is the truth. You've touched on this recently in a few other videos/social posts, and it been eye-opening for someone else to put into words what I've spent so long trying to. Started to realize I had been dating pop-feminists who only wanted *themselves* to be free of patriarchal expectations.
@@Eriko-cy7iy it’s kinda true, but not universally so and still a product of patriarchy. Part of patriarchal exploitation demands that women be placed on a pedestal, to be taken care of and provided for under the expectation that they be eternal homemakers. This is, essentially, the “reward” for performing femininity as prescribed even as it’s a gilded cage. Enter feminism: campaigns for women’s rights and agency. The poster says “equality” but that’s only partly true. There are aspects of life where women dominate men as part of this homemaker “pedestal” deal, and it can be difficult to equalize that because those are the only reigns granted to them by patriarchy, which has obviously not been destroyed. The result is the dehumanization of anyone assigned male at birth within many “feminist” circles. The idea of women’s liberation has become mainstream enough to be generally aspirational, but not understood enough such that the nuance of how patriarchy negatively affects all genders is accepted or even known. A lot (read: A LOT) of feminist adjacent women hold onto patriarchal standards and values religiously, even as they themselves desire to escape from them. This is the space in which TERFs operate, and I think it explains their stupid ideology quite well. Hot take TLDR: Pop-feminists co-opt the message of female empowerment while actively supporting patriarchy.
Well said, me, myself was never mad at Jada. I have been in one sided relationships before and it's quite complex from a man's perspective because the "provider" instinct wants you to nurture said relationship even though it's slowly hurting you deeply but over time I just found the strength to pack it up and leave wich takes. alot of Will power (no pun intended). At the end, Will knew what he was getting into but I reckon, he didn;t think he would become a a laughing stock to the entire world. As for me, sitting in my college funded room as I try to sort my life, all I have to say to folks out there is...don't be afraid to leave.
Thank you for this. I never knew who Jada really was…so I didn’t understand her side. Either way, instead of folks thinking “okay relationships/marriages aren’t perfect- let’s work on it!” People are doing what you said: “See?? They do it too!!”
Nah nah nah spin the block on the whole “I don’t even think Tupac liked woman” thing! I’m 22 so I’m missing out on a lot of Tupac lore so I would love to hear more about that !
If she honestly quietly divorced Will this would be a nothing burger it’s that she keeps explaining why she’s unhappy which most men who look up to the “perfection” of Will definitely felt a way about.
@@imanigordon6803Yeah the same reason why people say Jada shouldn't get hated for not being the perfect wife. Wouldn't the same fairness apply to Will too?
You touched on excellent points, I think a lot of people are so used to overlooking men and their emotional trauma as well as their connection to figures like Will that when shit goes down with these icons consideration isn't being given to social morale from the outside nor are most people connected with that projection/association they have with their icons that their hurt manifests in other ways, like hostility. I honestly hadn't thought about my own associations with celebrity relationships until you really got into it because I don't care much who is doing what, but I do recognize the associations I have with massive figures like Will and Jada who've cemented as a unit. I know that impact is manifold when talking about that icon within a marginalized community and I really felt that with how you broke it down. Excellent video.
I agree with everything you said except... ...Will isn't protecting Jada. Will is protecting Will. Jada has absolutely protected him over the years, there have been so many rumors of him with men and women. She stayed in character. He spoke about how horrible of a person/husband he was in his own book, which no one has read, but has so much to talk about how he's a victim.
Sleeping with your own child's friend is a very narcissistic thing to do. It shows a lack of boundaries. I wonder what her son thinks or felt about. It clearly directly affected a personal relationship of his. I don’t remember will discussing jada negatively very often. Jada however. If i was will, i would have divorced a long time ago. But he is clearly very co dependent.
Good point. Sometimes it almost seems like will sees her as a mother figure more than a wife. Even the way he handled Chris rock seemed like he’d told a yo mama joke 😂
Your youtube page is quickly becoming one of my favorites, good to listen to someone speaking on something and not just regurgitating shit they heard somewhere else, you have your own thoughts and takes and I like that
This has been a good overview of the situation. Still leaves me with the same question the whole Johnny Depp thing left me with a couple of years ago: Why is any of this any of our business?
