Why At 85 I Rethought My Life With My Children | Sandra Hart 

Here is the link to my poem -To My Children I read in the opening. sandrahart.gumroad.com/l/poemtomychildren

My mother died from kidney failure when I was 17. What I miss most is being able to be friends with my mother. She left me 54 years ago with a lifetime of good advice and Christian training that has helped me my whole life. Still, there's something 'unfinished' when you lose your mother before she's done raising you to adulthood. Still sad - still missing her.

No baby is born with an instruction manual. I love my children, I made mistakes, did some things right, somethings I would like to change. When I was wrong, I asked forgiveness and they freely gave it. They are so good to me now. Parents make mistakes, children make mistakes, forgiveness is a wonderful gift. Agree, be kind to others, and do something nice for another, this takes away so much pain. Happy Mother's Day Sandra.

Happy Mother’s Day to all who offer their Love and energy to lift up others and Mother Earth. Thank you.

Aw Sandra, thank you for also acknowledging women who don’t have children 🥰 I’ve always been on the fence about having them as I adore peace and quiet each day, and at age 35 I’ve still not met the ‘right’ man so it looks unlikely I’ll be having them… but it comforts me to know I can use my maternal instinct in other ways, with animals, friends and other people’s children etc. Thank you so much for your lovely reflections, and what a beautiful poem. God bless 🌷

Mom had two sons with Muscular Dystrophy. She was excellent to them. She gave them every opportunity. They are all dead now. My sister as well as my father, too. My daughter lives in New Orleans, my grandchild is not as far away. I miss everyone! But I have my good memories.

Sandra you are the sweetest! I chose not to have children, but I always thought i would adopt. That did not work out, but now I have a chance to move back to my home state which is Florida! I've had my adventures, and my self centered life. Now at 63 I definitely want to be near family again. There is always a need for volunteering and once settled, I want to mentor teens. Physicality may fade, but my giving heart still beats young!××

We have been empty nesters for about 7 years now - I’m still not ok with it. I miss my daughter terribly!! She lives over 1200 miles from me. I always imagined that we would be hanging out together as adults shopping, dining, getting our nails done & more. I am extremely proud of her & all that she has done, but man I sure miss her. I try not to text her or even call her. I know she is building life of her own & the last thing I want to do is push her away by being too nosy or by trying to be involved in her life. It’s hard on this Mama!!

Sandra, that poem you wrote to your children was so beautiful! What a thoughtful and talented person you are. Happy Mother’s Day!

I have had two wonderful sons.My sweet youunger son bled to death during a hurricane.Tuesday would be his birthday.I miss him so much I have my older son who is so terrific.I thank God every day for him.. happy mothers day and please tell your children you love them!

I don't have children on my own as I didn't want, but I respect every woman who raises a child, it's a tough job and of course joy. I'm so grateful for my mother, she is the best and wonderful, although her life wasn't easy and I wasn't always the perfect daughter. Thank you Sandra, I'm sure you are not only a wonderful and wise woman, but also a wonderful mother as my mum ❤

I am a mother by adoption. Our son is now 45. We have two young grandchildren, and they are the loves of my life. We live 30 minutes from them, but have been in their lives since birth, and did all their childcare. We take them overnight whenever we can; I take them to religious school once a week; we do FaceTime on Friday to catch up at the end of the school week. They have completed my life in ways I never could have imagined.

Happy Mother’s Day Sandra!🌷I am now 76. I was adopted at age 2 months. Raised by fantastic and loving parents. I have 3 children and 5 grands.

Happy Mother's Day to all the mothers, mothers-in-law, fur baby mothers, step moms, grandmothers and those who care for others - we celebrate you and each other! And as I've read, none of us are perfect, we've all made (motherly) mistakes - wow! doesn't that just make us human?

Sandra! Those words ignorance and innocence explain it all for most of us. You are a great poet and your voice truly compliments.

Happy Mother’s Day Sandra! I do not want to live with my children either, I like my own space and I respect the fact that they have their own lives and I want them to live it. I think it is selfish to have expectations of your children to give up their lives. I am wishing you a wonderful day filled with love! Love, Sheila

Beautiful! Happy Mother’s Day! I too travelled with my children! Distances varied & were enjoyable- no one has a perfect life. Very lovely poem. 💕🙏🙏👍❤️

So beautiful Sandra. Life has a way of getting us terribly sidetracked. Nothing goes as we plan. But God knows why we go through trials with our children and it’s all part of His perfect plan for our lives. Our children are Gods gift to us.

Yes Sandra, I chose not to have children but always have dogs. I adore and take excellent care of them. I consider it a blessing to be able to do so.

I predict your poem will go viral. It is lovely. I hope everyone who uses it gives you credit for it. Just lovely.

What a beautiful poem...Happy Mother's Day!

Happy Mother's Day!🌻 My furbabies have always been my children. My grandmother once told my late mother that she did the best she could with what she knew. Blessings to everyone!

Happy Mothers Day! I am like you Sandra, I am a loner. I love my children and grandchildren more than anything and love to spend time with them but I'm fine doing my own thing.

Hi, Sandra. Thank you for your video. Have a good week and Happy Mother's day. ❤

Happy Mother's Day To All Beautiful Mother's 🙏💐

Love that poem. We all have rocky roads with our children.

Happy Mother’s Day Sandra. Thanks for the gift of your time and for sharing your heart today 💐

Happy Mother's Day Sandra!💖🌹That's a BEAUTIFUL Poem!🙏💖💖💖💖

There is no such thing as a 'perfect life' but we do what we can with what we have been given. So glad you had a wonderful family - including your pets Sandra. ♥ Elle

I am writing a lerrr to my son exactly the same to my son to be opened when I die andexplaing that when I had a breakdown I couldn’t look after him butt then I became a good mother and he is doing great. He is 35 and coming to Seattle for a few days forc work and I let him find his way

Happy Mother's Day Sandra🌷✨🤩 Thank you for your beautiful soul❤️

I had a tumultuous childhood but it was a childhood of growth and knowledge and there were a lot of people who 'mothered' me for good and bad. I don't hold any of the bad against anyone because I really believe that there are lessons we needed to learn and this was our journey. My own children didn't have an 'easy' childhood but it certainly was an opportunity for character development. My children know absolutely that I love them as nobody else could... a mother's unconditional love. I also mourned when the empty nest occurred but I am also happy just being with myself. Both of my children are independent, wonderful adults and my grandchildren are also wonderful. Happy Mother's Day!

Sandra, thank you for being real. No lives are perfect, and we all make mistakes. My daughters and I celebrated yesterday, and it was lovely, and then they went back to their lives. I felt so alone when they left, but your poem really centered me. I raised them to fly, and they are doing it well. Our lives touch occasionally but there is so much love. I want to focus on that. So thank you again for reminding me that their job is not to stay with me but to become who each is and make the world a better place. Happy Mothers' Day, Sandra. Deb

Most parents do the best they can, loving them is the most important aspect one can give. Many mothers are either "hovercrafts" or "Islands" never fully knowing if they are doing the right thing. Just be kind to each other for it makes life so much easier.

Happy mother's day. Beautiful poem

Happy, Blessed Mother’s Day to you, Sandra, and to all sister women! I grew up in my parents’s domestic abuse and violence. Still I was able to give nurturing to my little sister. She called me her “little Mommie”. My life has been about finding healing and recovery- and blossoming like a Lotus Flower. Yes, the maternal nurturing and deeply caring feelings still come through at age 81. I’m so grateful! ❤😊

Thank you Sandra , from a 75 year young woman, love you 🥰

Sandra, in these times a lot of people don’t have a lot of choice as to whether they can really be independent. The homeless problem is very real, many people deal with unstable work situations where they can easily lose their jobs. Many seniors, if they want to live independently, run the risk of falling down and getting severe injuries or even dying with no one around to realize what happened and try to help them.

My mother died on my 57th birthday last year. I'm so glad i had the years with her to get to know her, how much of a beautiful person she was. I miss her tremendously. I know i was very fortunate to have her for so long but still, I'll always miss her.

Happy mother's day Sandra , to all the mother's on this channel and to those with caring compassionate love for children, blessings to you all❤

Love your message ❤ Happy Mothers day to you Sandra and all the Ladies in this community 🌹

Your beautiful poem reduced me to tears.beautiful. true.❤

Happy Mother's Day❤

Happy Mothers Day Sandra🙌🏻🍑🧡Lisa

Sandra is such a radiant voice! So generous to share this complex and richly lived wisdom!

Wow!! Beautiful poem! Super touchy 😍🥲❤️ You look absolutely stunning😍 Happy belated Mother’s Day 🎂🍀🌸❤️

Thank you Sandra. You made me cry when you read that poem and then talked about your mothering. My two older adult children seem to take turns between speaking to me and turning their backs on me. Right now one of them is grateful for what given her as a mother and wants to be my friend, while the other one who I used to be extremely close to, currently wants nothing to do with me. I know that my youth and ignorance cause them to be raised in a household dominated by a narcissistic man, that I met in high school and married too young. I always loved my children and never intentionally hurt them. They always came first, I just didn’t know the best thing for all of us would have been to leave when they were babies.

Happy Mother’s Day Sandra ❤ wish we all could give you a Big Hug 🤗

Happy Mother's Day! Wishing all moms a very blessed and wonderful day! 💐

Sanda, I'm a mother of four. I, too, have made mistakes along the way, but through the years, those mistakes turned into tools for love. God bless all moms today.

You have an amazing way with words. I was hooked the first 10 seconds

I worked so hard to not repeat my childhood's bad moments, but still, now I am 50 yo and my oldest daughter doesn't talk to me. I am grieving it now and almost accepted the reality. I regret that I spent so much time and effort for her, and gave her everything. I was unstoppably crying the whole video.

Happy Mother’s Day, Sandra! 😊💐Don’t make me cry!☺️ Lovely segment. I am a godmother to 4 and a Great Aunt, “GAL” to 3 and 1/2☺️(one due in September). I love them all and I enjoy reading to the 3 girls under 3 years old, and birthdays for the others. Thank you for your kind words, as always.💐

Thank you Sandra ❤ from a French granny in France ❤️🌟✨🌟✨

Beautiful sentiments.✨My grandmother was horribly toxic. Her kids couldn't wait to leave the house. But then they all were drawn back to her as adults. Too many people think DNA matters more than actual love. Anyhow as a result of being around her again her toxic behavior was mimicked and passed down to the next generations. It's a mess and not a happy group. I luckily freed myself long ago. It would be wonderful if everyone was as wise and reflective as you are. To recognize and learn from mistakes and wanting to be better. It takes real courage and a loving heart.❤ Not everyone has that. You are a special being.😊

Wishing you a bright and beautiful Mother's Day, Madame! Your poem with which you opened your video is just incredible - so emotional and poignant. Your children and grandchildren are so fortunate, blessed and lucky to have you! I love a quote that celebrates the love and our gifts, as women, to all this Mother's Day: "Both spiritual companionship and spiritual motherliness are not limited to the physical wife and mother relationship, but they extend to all people with whom woman comes into contact." - St. Teresa Benedicta of the Cross. 🌺❤🙏

You look lovely today Sandra and Happy Mother's Day to you and all the Mother's whether to humans or animals. I chose to break the cycle by not having human children with zero regrets at 62. My Mother had mental issues that were not talked about back then and the person I thought was my Father was her enabler. So, life is not a fairytale for all of us. I'm happy for those of you who did have Camelot however. Appreciate every day and be thankful you have the opportunity to enjoy another day! We all appreciate you Sandra!

I loved this video. I have a similar blouse i bought in China. I wear it to live theater and concerts in the nearest largest city. Babies don’t come with instructions manual. Stay where you are and where you want to be. I’m 71…I’ve been alone since 2013. I have many projects that keep me busy. I have two biological daughters and two ( step) daughters that I continue to relate to even after divorcing their dad in 1992. Thanks for the conversation ❤️

So glad l came across your video today, lm approaching my twilight years after raising five children, it was a joyful time in my life, l miss the craziness but also l am embracing the peace and quiet. I also want to live alone as long as l can.My husband passed away ten years ago.l miss him dearly but l am learning to care for and love myself. Happy belated Mothers Day.

There Nothing In The World Like A Mother’s Love, You gave me the roots to start this life, and then you gave me Wings to Fly, Happy Mother’s Day Sandra 💘💕

Happy Mother’s Day, Sandra. I can’t even begin to tell you how beautiful your poem is. Brought a tear to my eye. Hope you have a wonderful day. God bless you💗🌸💗🌸💗

Such a wonderful discussion and so many thoughts I’ve pondered in this area. You captured so many vital, true and realizations to deeply ponder. I love your heart and I love you Sandra. You are a loving kind beautiful inspiration to so many. I’m grateful I connected with you so many months ago! Thank you and may you have peace and joy beyond your imagination always. 🩷

You got through Mother's Day alone, so well done for doing something difficult and against your maternal instinct. You're tying to be selfless, but others want you around more than you think and will improve the lives of others, being the opposite of what you think as you never impose on your loved ones. They need you more than ever and can only focus on their own lives when you're around. ❤

“Happy Mother’s Day💌♥️💖Sandra, Life Isn’t Easy As We Get Older “God Bless”🦋🌈

Always a pleasure to hear from you Sandra. We do our best for our children at that time, life is not perfect and my kids know how much I love them, so much. Thank you Sandra, your videos mean alot. I wish you all the best xxx

Happy Mother's Day Sandra, I hear what you are saying. I agree with you 💯.

Happy Mother's Day to you, Sandra! 💐 Isn't it just so easy as adults to blame our parents for whatever isn't right in our lives! How about realizing that parents are just people. They have their issues just like we all do. I think this is a valuable perspective to consider especially if you didn't win the gene pool and had a rough go of it. For all of us, I think it's important to find the good in our relationships, if there's indeed one to be had. We place a tremendous amount of pressure on our expectations of how we think it should be between ourselves and our parents. PARENTS ARE JUST PEOPLE!! I say cut ourselves, and them, some slack and appreciate we were given an opportunity to CREATE OUR OWN LIFE the way we chose to live it. Particularly once we become adults. How cool is that! So, thank you Mom for all of it! It helped to make me into the person I am, it's given me many memories that are my own personal treasures, and instilled what's needed most in this crazy life...a sense of humor! Sandra, the 'needed to be said' point about it being a sign of good parenting to prompt empty nesting (I'm paraphrasing) 👍🎯 To have a child WANT to go live their life and find out who they are would be the ultimate sign you've done your job as a parent. I spent so long apologizing for being independent and a loner. No more. I'm good with it. I know that when I do have people in my life it's because there's a mutual want for it. And if a parent is an independent loner, what a wonderful opportunity for children to learn respect for another's boundaries and realizing that mom's and dad's are allowed to be who they are. They aren't just there for you. A good life lesson, IMO. Your poem is so lovely Sandra. Thank you for sharing with us. You look divine in your peachy/apricot satin today! Wishing a beautiful mother a beautiful day😘🧡

God bless you Sandra you always know just the right words to say. I hope you had a wonderful Mothers Day.🌹💐🙏💖💝💯

Sandra, I had the best childhood experience. My parents both loved and respected one another. Happy Mother's Day 💐

Happy Mothers day Sandra!

Happy Mother's day Sandra . What you said is so true ....thank you for sharing your thoughts . I send wonderful wishes to all the mothers of the world . No one gave us an instruction manual for this awesome but very difficult job ....

You are beautiful. Hearing your video is like listening to an old friend.

Hi, that's a nice way of looking at Mother's Day - all women can be mothers to everyone - I agree that we're mostly nurturing... Your poem is beautiful. Thanks for sharing it. I hope you had a peaceful, content Mother's Day. xx

Beautiful message! Thank you and happy belated Mother’s Day, Sandra.

Happy Mother's Day! Great video! 🌻🙏

Happy Mothers Day. Thanks to the many women who stood in the gap and continue to do so. You are valued too💜

Happy Mother's Day, Sandra!🌷

Happy mother's day Sandra! 🌺

Thank you Sandra.Happy Mother's day.I loved this video.

What a beautiful poem you wrote to your children. I had a rough child hood growing up. I broke the cycle. Raised my children with love. My children are good parents too .Happy mothers day to you ❤

Happy Mother's Day to all mother's. God bless us all. 🌹

Thank you for sharing this beautiful video and poem x

Thank you for the beautiful poem. Happy Mother's Day.

Happy Mother’s Day Sandra🌷 such a beautiful poem, love it🌹

Happy Mother’s Day to you! ❤❤❤

Thank you, Sandra. Such a beautiful poem. Happy Mother's Day!

I really love your poem. Thank you.

Happy mother’s day.Beautiful poem ❤

Happy Mother’s Day! What a lovely poem. ❤ You are so inspiring!

Happy belated Mother’s Day to you Mrs. Sandra. 🙏

Happy Mother’s Day, Sandra ❤

Well said, Miss Sandra ❤

Really enjoy your conversation!

Happy Mother's Day! Thank you for the beautiful message and heartfelt sharing. ❤😊

Lovely opening poem, Sandra! Thanks for sharing.

Beautifully shared wisdom.

Your children are fortunate to feel free to ask you the tough questions about their childhood; as an adult I would never venture there with my mother who was kind and gentle but suffered from narcissistic histrionics. and having a “conversation” with her about any controversial family issue would result in defensive keening and I do mean screeching. My obstacle in life is a great fear of risk and being a people pleaser. I don’t blame my mother she loved me in spite of her mental disorder and I miss her. She was intelligent, earning a college degree in her forties; equestrian, pilot and artist. Abundant with talent but she did not know how to deal with babies and toddlers in the fifties. I don’t blame her, I understand her.

What a beautiful message ❤

Thank you Sandra! 🙏 Such a special Mother's Day message! ❤️

Happy Mother's Day!!!