Why Being Less Motivated Leads To More Results 

Become nonchalant

I relate to you so much...omg

I think the catch is he doesn't view his acomplishments as acomplishments. Just a nice thing he got along the way

@@user-dp3xs8gs9d exactly this. He is quietly content most of the time with appreciation peaks and disappointment troughs. When someone is eagerly ecstatic about something and can barely contain themselves, he is calmly looking forward to that thing He thinks achievements are nice bonuses but he could live without them because he didn’t need them to be happy with himself in the first place

Fuck, I deeply feel this

I'm a psychology student too and I want to work as a counselor/curator when I'm done as work before I do my masters, and I'm gonna take so much of Dr. K's views and apply them in my job.

@@AviOW you may like to take a look at Cook-Greuter's Ego Development Theory study

Have you applied that in counseling work ? If so, can you give some examples?@@D3xxon

As a student that went through most of my degree before my treatment and diagnosis. Using anxiety and stress to structure your day works for sure but my god it takes away from being able to relax at all outside of getting stuff done.

Why you got the maplestory slime next to your name?

May I ask, what do you do?

@@sp123 they are just built different

@@N.E.L.L I work in video games as an animator

Actually it's head on related

You are bang on the money. I am the person that you describe - too anxious, idealistic, caring too much, setting impossible standards for myself and others. It has caused me nothing but misery. My friend is just like you are, good intentions but doesn’t take things too seriously, rolls with whatever happens and doesn’t dwell too much on negative stuff. He is much more successful than me and has had no mental health issues in his life.

The attitude of "care immensely about delivering good results, but dont get bothered when things don't go my way" you developed after you're experienced in work or you had that attitude from the start? Since I think that you should be confident to handle any problems happen, so that you're not afraid of them happening

Yup you got it right, the vid also contains direction for how to move from being too motivated to being more generally content. So check it out, maybe some of your colleagues could need it 😊

That is actually what the video is about. :)

right??

😂

That is literally the point of the video. it's so clever

congrats

oh so i just have to get even lazier and then i’ll loop back around to not being a waste of life

Good analogy, it sometimes really helpfull to made us understanding better about the subject, thanks man

Correct. But do you want fun or do you want contentment? All good either way, just know you cannot choose both.

@@guillermorelobalopez7553 you can't have your cake and eat it too. Not if you have 2 cakes. -miles morales.

@@swaggyp1219 Miles isn't someone I'd trust with anything cake related tbh.

Well put

You're also more productive now than someone was 50 years ago. Productivity is at an all time high with people really only being productive for 3-4 hours a day. Nothing in nature runs at 100% for any extended period of time.

@@Jebbis You mean an all time low? Orrrrr...

​​@@ArdorstormI think they mean that technological advancements afford people more relaxed work. So what would take people in the old days maybe a full day to get done, a modern day person can get done in a couple hours, hence they're more "productive"

@@leonardodavinci4259 Ohhhhhhhh. Yeah, makes sense

I think you perfectly described burnout. We become 'motivated' towards external accomplishment, and because that motivation is not aligned with our core values we become fatigued, depressed, and burnt out. If action is aligned with our core values, acting on those core values leads to contentment as external factors don't influence our behavior. You can tie this into feeling resolved, which is when your actions in the moment align with your core values. When you are resolved towards a purpose, you don't become burnt out as there is no discontent within you.

Both are perspective

Yes I’ve heard that going to the gym should be like brushing your teeth. You don’t need motivation to brush your teeth every morning but it’s just something that you do.

This, at least the first bit, is exactly what I was thinking when watching the video. I actively wish I COULDN'T dissect my pleasures. I can't EVER fucking let loose and just enjoy shit for what it is.

@@psy-fi64 the point of dissecting pleasure is not that you shouldn't enjoy anything, it's the opposite. It is supposed to make you enjoy everything. But with eudaimonic pleasure instead of hedonic.

@fissionmail3d Maybe it works for some people. I don't know. I'm just in a rough patch I guess.

Too much of one thing is bad. I'm largely content in life, but still curious. That curiosity is what keeps me sane to this day, and dissecting many things including emotions only fuel that. No clue if it's tied to motivation, but it has kept me levelheaded over negative things like "Why do toxic people act the way they are? I might need some more context. I'm genuinely curious"

@@psy-fi64 I feel like you're probably young and thats fine but it gets better cuz I was analyzing everything from 15-21 and I stopped (after weed) and I'm like huh, its finally clear. I'm not advocating for drugs but I learned what a quiet mind felt like and I started another journey to stop thinking and shut off my mind when I feel its getting cluttered but i haven't used any substances in a year. a) over analyzing anything is a headache and not fun but its addictive (wrong motivation) b) do more think less. don't allow anytime for thoughts to ruminate and get too loud. Once you start doing hard shit, your mind finds ways to enjoy it. I found when doing something hard, its only painful for about 15-20 minutes, then it feels good. And when I have fun, I'm completely have fun and in the present. c) analyze where pleasure comes from, don't analyze everything about it. All I know is watching youtube, music, listening to something while doing any work and women are things I think about as an addictive thing. I've known this for a long time, but I don't ask myself why. I mean I used to, but its no point. If its taking away cogntive energy towards important things, it needs to either be blocked or needs added friction. Like I deleted social media off my phone and I only respond to messages on my computer once a week. Nonetheless its important to know where the hedonic pleasure comes from so you can do something about it.

He knows his audience 😂

So much for your ableist language

"Dr. K"? Changed reference?????

@dispenser6257 don't even start with the "ableist" nonsense, the rest of us are simply being lighthearted about this radical new concept.

Yep, i often feel surreal how i think i'm so different and he just so happens to know exactly what i'm thinking haha

yes, don't do it.

But are you bad at stuff? Have you tried things and see for yourself if you’re bad at stuff or you only listen to others that you are?

@@GenesRapture I know that it's not true, but it is probably what my subconscous is still reacting to. At least that is my guess.

@@ann18o96 That is probably true - a habit that can be easily triggered. I have had similar but not with what I cannot do, but can do but ain’t given psych traumas during childhood.

You're good at being bad at stuff, gotta give you that... But really, how much weight should other persons' opinion weight for you? Let alone completely random strangers' Dunno, I'm just going by the 'if something is worth doing, it's worth doing badly over not doing at all'

Your analogy of browser tabs is intirguing. I too have an extreme "tab-hoarding" problem (had phases where I literally had 2000 tabs simultaneously open) and I wonder if this behavior is also analogus to my brain's behavior. I'm left stranded after Dr. K's video. He has a habit of presenting counter-intuitive findings to us (and apparently backing them up ("apparently" because I have no relevant expertise to attempt to debunk his findings but I trust him enough to let him do the heavy-lifting (Oh god, nested parentheses))). While the contrarian in me enjoys these videos, this one left me at an impasse. I've always thought that I lacked motivation because I always did things spontaneously and, almost always, when I do deep-work it's due to the intense anxiety and terror I get from imagining me failing or disappointing whoever is expecting progress. Without deadlines and fear, I'm like a leaf blowing in the wind, with the occassional drifts to places that give me momentary pleasure (even if I view these drifts as productive and useful, which do abound). What's worse is that I absolutely detest deadlines the most out of everything. The worst periods of my life coincide with my most productive. I do want to be productive because I enjoy my area of work, but for me, choosing productivity is tantamount to willingly showering in fire. I have extreme GAD and even with medication I'm struggling. I wonder if I'm a lost cause. What should I do here? I see my potential and where I could be with my crafts (however numerous) and as I age, I find myself betraying that expectant potential. I don't have to meet my potential head-on, but I'm so far away it hurts. Do I simply give up trying to be motivated even for the good things? Wouldn't that place me where I'm already at? Is Dr. K. saying that this freedom due to maximizing my eudaimonics will land me where I want to be anyway? Or is Dr. K. saying to simply give up only the bad motivations by way of dissecting the pleasures they bring out?

@@RainnFTWj You really remind me of myself, even down to how I type when I'm thinking about a lot, down to the nested parenthesis...although I will admit I never reached the thousands before, I think even my computer would melt if I tried that- I believe, ultimately, it boils down to this- How do you subconsciously prioritize things when you're not TRYING to do something specific? The brain is always active even when we're not directing it in a certain direction. So that means that motivation isn't something you lack, it's something that you already have. Whether it's motivations and drives that push you to avoid the things that make you anxious or afraid, or towards things that are entertaining, pleasurable or stimulating- I believe what Dr. K is trying to get at here is this. Many of our own inner conflicts do not come from a LACK of motivation, they come from CONFLICTING motivations. Be it addictions, fears, physiological impulses, physical needs, procrastination, rumination, mixed feelings, battles between the logical but underpowered higher functions of the brain that exist in the pre-frontal cortex, and the messy, primal, illogical, emotional and impulsive but POWERFUL urges, instincts, and emotions from the baser parts of the brain. In other words, when you, whether consciously or unconsciously have a conflict of interest, whichever interest is stronger is the one that dominates, although it can be a tiring process to get to that point, as your brain essentially is spending it's time and resources trying to calculate the subjective risks, rewards, and preferences to get to the result. Then you may be sitting there thinking what you are now. "If I'm stuck in conflict between my drives and motivations, then which one wins and what can I do about it?" And that's what this video is about, the motivation that drives you is the one that you choose to FEED. In effect, you can overcome this in two ways- One is to develop the behavior or drive that you want to develop to such a high degree that it becomes like instinct, as the motivation that you cultivate within yourself will naturally grow deeper and deeper roots until doing actions tied to that motive become automatic, this is what most people commonly think of when they talk about building consistency and good habits. When you have a strong, persistent positive motivation, it becomes a core value, which then makes it easier to build positive habits and take positive actions. But this topic is the other side to that, you see many of the good habits, skills, and so on that people talk about building don't start off as particularly deeply ingrained in us, they start as ideas, or concepts, thoughts, and logical conclusions, all things that are mainly formed from the cortexes of our brains, which deal in logic, problem solving and so on, the issue is that these positive ideas start from top of the brain, and work their way down into the deeper parts of the brain which are generally more powerful and more responsible for emotion, motivation, habits, and so on. Good habits need to be planted and tended to, and take consistency to take root, not just through repetition, but through reinforcement, nurture, leaning into the joy and peace that comes from that like a warm hug, until it becomes part of you. While many negative habits or unproductive patterns actually have counter origins, when we indulge ourselves, it brings pleasure, adrenaline, excitement, euphoria, fear, etc. the ACTION sparks EMOTION or some other deep-brain signals innately. It's why, in the example of something like addicts, one tiny dose of a strong enough substance can spark a near instantaneous addictive response in the brain. It is IMMENSELY stimulating to the motivation and instinctual connections in the brain. So generally speaking, what this breaks down to is, for the things you want more of in your life, and the traits you want to form in yourself, focus on building POSITIVE connections to the things you want to do, but do so in a way that you genuinely feel it towards the thing you're aiming for. And for the things that you want less of in life, practice abstinence, but ALSO, learn to slow down your physiology so that when you DO feel the urge to do the things that a part of you wants to stop doing, practice meditation and mindfulness, in such a way that when you feel yourself getting anxious or excited, you can calm yourself physically and mentally enough that your impulses don't overpower your intellect. YOU are in control of you. The key is to not fight with yourself. If you can reach a point of absolute equilibrium, where you're not overly excited, or overly stressed, which is scientifically proven to be possible with consistent meditation practice- You will enter a eudaimonic state like Dr K. talks about. The difference between a raging river and a flowing stream is pressure. The key is not in hitting the brakes, it's in taking pressure off the gas pedal. Running at full speed with the pedal to the floor is not fuel efficient for a car, and will often raise your risk of crashing even for the most experienced of drivers. Does any of that make sense or help?

@@RainnFTWj The other part I see this as, to sum everything up in a few lines- Hedonics (pleasure seeking and pain avoidant systems) thrive in fast paced, overwhelming minds and situations. Eudaimonics (fulfillment and contentment systems) thrive in more relaxed, peaceful and slowed down minds and situations. Learn to be the growing oak, not the speeding car. Meditation, meta cognition and mindfulness are all practical things you can engage in to make this shift. Remember, you are the one in control of your body, so long as you move and breathe according to your own will, you have the power to be the person you wanna be.

Thank you for your comment, it really provoked some thoughts in me :)

similar to being content with bad situations

So what did you do after/now? I feel the same here in many ways. It's definitely for me one of my hardest barriers/weak spots.

@@Hanz264 Its kinda hard to explain. When that sluggish or reluctant feeling comes up, you have to be willing to sit with it and examine it and let the emotion sort of digest as you observe it. Just gotta let yourself feel all those nasty feels without pushing them away or trying to rationalize them. just feel your feels without talking about them in your mind.

Empathy helps me most in dealing with this. There is always someone currently doing or aspiring to do whatever I am pursuing, so are those people also doing something worthless? If I say yes, then I am content making sweeping value judgements on both the task/job/field of study and the capabilities of the individual people doing those things regardless of circumstance (which is a dangerous thougut process to indulge in), and if I say no, then my unique situation can also be one that justifies the pursuit. In a way, it's a self-fulfilling prophecy: once you deem the endeavor worthless, you doubt your desire to pursue it. Then, you decide to cut it off after the honeymoon phase. But only through this action have you actually made the pursuit worthless, and you now can retroactively justify that you were correct all along and it was the right thing to do. Once the honeymoon phase full of curiosity, wonder, excitement, and discovery wear off, all we have between us and continuing the pursuit is our own desire to pursue it regardless of being curious or excited about it. To pursue it to fulfill or fully realize something that led us to that exact point where it wore off. And finishing what we started is often in itself worth it, but it is difficult to see the value in this when there's tons of other things for you to experience another honeymoon phase. You have to sacrifice the honeymoon phase of many other potential pursuits to pursue this one endeavor. The goal is to remind yourself that this is something worth pursuing by returning to the honeymoon phase mindset every step of the way. I'm sure you've heard or seen or even experienced this idea in some aspect of your life. This is just my perspective and what helps me clear the brain fog that comes from the same thought space you talked about. I don't know your thought process in much detail, but maybe hearing another perspective can be helpful.

he's getting more steezy by the day

Miss K bringing the drip.

I like his wall decor with small tweaks going on over time.

9:24 f-bomb

UDICS = eudaimonics :)

No, lent is about creating emotional bond/dependence. Once you've "invested" in something you're naturally inclined to convince yourself it was worthwhile, and tell yourself that your religion makes you a better person (even though it doesn't.) It's all an emotional manipulation to increase your bond with catholicism and make you want to spread it to others. Religions that don't manipulate their followers into spreading it will not survive beyond the existing generation of hosts. It's not about healthy human functioning, it's about using human quirks to spread itself to new hosts.

It is a shame though because there are some practices and advice by the saints that could have helped many. For example, in 11:30 or so onwards Dr. K discusses about detachment from a pleasure to increase eudaimonia, and his advice is to "dissect" why the hedonic pleasure is pleasureable. St Thomas Aquinas has actually a better advice. He wrote, "Hence the most effective remedy against intemperance is not to dwell on the consideration of singulars." Singulars are qualities that makes things unique, and their opposites are universals or commonalities, what qualities they share with others. As an example, think of your favorite food. You'll realize that the reasons why you like that food is because of how good it is in comparison to other food you've tasted. Now, to detach yourself from the food, focus on its universals, what qualities it shares with other food. Well, it's made of protein, carbohydrates, fats, micronutrients, water, and others; it was cooked; it comes out the other end after some time; etc.

Lent is exactly what came to mind!

I was thinking the same thing! It's super interesting to see the scientific explanation of why these things are good for us. I believe it may help me have a better view of what is happening with my brain during these times

Yeah I thought the similar thing,I'm a muslim and when he mentioned fasting I started to contemplate my last Ramadhan fasting.

Yea, but they have been real cope

@@paperrancher2412 so you just don't watch the videos then

@@paperrancher2412he’s lowkey a professional coper like that’s his job

@@paperrancher2412 what's "cope" ?

​@pineapplethief4418 it's what people call things that they want to immediately dismiss and discredit when they can't be bothered to think about them critically

How about playing a real life game with a team, like football, basketball etc. You will have what you want and also +more movement and good for your health and social skills

@@j.p.4658 Thanks for the recommendation. I do go to the gym. Albeit everyone minds their own business there, but it's still okay. I used to play football, but grew up to not really care about sports in general. I just don't take them seriously nor care to improve/do well on them, but I do see the similarities with League. A good sport would be great for any enjoyer of cooperative competition. I kinda forgot to add that this was almost a decade ago, I'm doing fine now. Still, thanks!

2 digit daily hours? Holy shit

@@thomasgamer4000 I don't think that's very uncommon with ppl who play games like these. I used t o play Paladins (moba shooter) and I could stay up for 12, 16 or even 24 hours

Tried ultrakill? Very difficult(unless you play on lenient/harmless) but super rewarding to learn, nearly infinite skill ceiling

That is very interesting. As an observer, one would probably see negative symptoms as the opposite of contentment. We would probably see it as something similar to depression from the outside. Never thought it could be experienced as such high levels of contentment that you aren't motivated to do anything

Thanks for sharing. It is always useful to hear about people's internal experience of something directly

Funny thing is he even has a video on that where he responded to a reddit post that memed about watching his videos and doing nothing.

That’s because doing so is very uncomfortable and takes considerable amounts of effort and pain.

Definitely keep trying, but perhaps try more deliberately by listening even closer. Even if you feel like you're making no progress today, it's often a small, deliberate attempt one random day that creates the breakthrough you need. Each attempt helps create new connections, and you'll be surprised how all those years of cognitive understanding actually will come up when you deliberately try. Also, this is why coaching is useful.

I suppose that is why we hate when games break immersion, as it disrupts this maximal pleasure from being lost in a game.

This might explain why every streak of my sobriety has been broken. S Counting streak became more important than/replaced sobriety and its so much easier to pick intoxication back up when it's only a number to be lost. Dang.. Thanks for this gentle kick, it was needed

I hate streak counters too! It’s too much pressure and sometimes I just don’t have time or energy one day and I don’t want the guilt trip of it. Sometimes if an app has it I’ll purposefully break a long streak just so I don’t have the pressure.

Correlation does not indicate causation. You are merely looking superficially at his life and then drawing conclusions. Life is more nuanced and complicated than that buddy

@Cube_Box Yes, this is antidotal, but you didn't know the kid. He was trying to escape his demons by achieving and being better than everyone. He covered up his cracks superficially with achievements and was praised for it by everyone. I could see the red flags that it was not healthy, but the flags were ignored because the Western mindset says, achieving solves problems. The point is he had the wrong motivation in the wrong direction, but no one cared, and eventually, his world got rocked, and he didn't have the emotional fortitude to handle it and it ended tragically. Just my opinion 🤷

So what if it is critical? You can't know everything, right?