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i dunno... Lord of the Flies was published in the 50s... i think even young kids were understood to be more capable of looking after themselves than these poorly written non-characters.
as said by a completely inconsequential unimportant character seriously she's set up as a potneital antagonist and then just does nothign important enough to warrant discussing in this review.
They're basically the average MMO player: fight each other, send each other dirty custom emotes, take off their clothes and run around as near naked as possible, spam the jump key like they're wearing spring boots, and tell anyone who logged in to actually play the game "don't get pressed lol, it's just a game". You say "I-Land", I say "Goldshire".
This series could had make a lot more sense if they just added a scene where one of the people who developt the simulation said "part of the experiment required we to block the survival instincts of the inmates, so they don't try to escape or find out was going on. But we may had gone overboard with it, those inmates were going to just lay on the beach and die if it wasn't for Chase"
"guys we've found shelter, a massive hotel. It's got water and beds, and we managed to get there and back in, like, half a day and we're totally fine, not even dirty or covered in sweat or blood or anything. We literally look like we've just been down to the supermarket and back" "Yeah, well, that sounds like too much hard work. We should just stay here, and spend days, maybe even weeks, building our own shelter and beds using only our bare hands. And as for water, we can also build vessels to carry it from the lake several times a day, every day. This seems a lot easier than easily climbing one cliff just one time."
@@hannahblurp9360 I just finished watching "The Good Place" on Netflix which I found fantastic and had relatable characters, felt like shouting out some actual good Television :)
when the first girl asks the second girl about if she found anything and says "so we have two things" and the second girl pulls the knife out i was 100% expecting her to say "nope. i have two things" also who wakes up on an unknown beach and thinks "well at least i have a shell. i could have nothing but i DO have one thing, a shell" bitch youre on a beach, look around a bet you could have a dozen "things"
Even if you went with the "we both have one thing each", you could've very easily rewritten it from "super confrontational super hostile bitch" to "rather cautious reasonable person" (which seemed to have been the intent with KC) if you just went "yeah, we have two things. But I'll keep the knife." Ofc you would've to rewrite her from being a childmurdering psychopath who for no reason constantly calls Chase a bitch and goes after the rapist for zero reason, but that's just the dumpsterfire of a script on display.
Imagine gathering this amount of resources to produce a show like this based on a script this bad. Imagine the amount of eye-rolling and loud exhales during the first read through.
I was thinking the same thing. Even the actors (while probably happy to be temporarily employed) must've been like, "Good heavens....do I need a cheque this badly?"
the only actor i recognize was one of the guys who was is Dead before Dawn a college zombie comedy from 2012. he played the EXACT same type of character. Its kinda sad actually
@@joelellis7035 having dated a ''starving actor'' who ended up making it, I would say unless you're very well connected or lucky, you better show up at most roles because you never know who you may meet or who may be there.
Characters: *Are too lazy to figure out why they're on the island* Same Characters: *Would rather build their own shelter than use the building already there* "Doesn't. add. up."
I have a theory after watching this 3 times (love you mark), maybe the script was minimal and their only command was to complain about everything, thats why they contradict each other all the time, also why that one b$tch repeats her lines over and over, she is just winging it. I can see a show so up its on ass, thinking memory loss means hiding the script to the actors
The undercover government agents immediately breaking their cover once questioned in the slightest broke my brain. It’s official, whoever wrote this show isn’t human. I refuse to believe it. A turtle that crawled towards different writing notes that they then used must of written this. Surely a human writer can’t be this dumb?
Priorities: 1. Popularity 2. Who's hotter 3. Who wants to bang who 4. Go swimming in cheeky outfits Never once mentioned food, shelter or even explore where you are
@@Snowmon89 to be fair they were kids who new very little about survival while most adults know pretty decent survival knowledge the only time adults would lord of the flies is if the island there on has very little resources for human survival like food and clean water which unlike most cartoons make it seem is pretty common as most islands dont have coconut and banna trees for easy food
"So guys it turns out that this island isn't deserted and that civilization is only a 5 minute walk away." "I am not going anywhere, I want to just lie on this beach and die." And this just goes on for a whole season.
It gets ridiculous how an old lady actually kicked so many of the guards into submission, one would think that after 25 years her muslces would be atrophiated memory or not
Yeah, but if somebody's gait was smaller and it took 50 steps, it would just be 50 times how many people and that would still be the distance to the sign instead of only 39. That is sound. But it's the direction part that isn't. They had more or less 180 degrees of direction to walk (not into the water). How did they walk right to the sign? Where do you start walking from? From the last person? From the first person? From the middle of all the people?
That's the problem with these Netflicks series: there's barely enough content for a 90 minute movie and they stretch it out to seven or more episodes. In the 80s this would have been a single episode of a television show, and it would have worked as that.
It would've been one of those failed TV pilots that got turned into a "movie" of two episodes squashed together, then covered by Mystery Science Theater.
Mark as one of the cast members written as himself would have been hilarious!!! And the “magnetic force field” doctor was the writer of this disaster. 🤣🤣 this explains why his character was there.
What really blows my mind, is how they kept their shirts so white the whole time! I usually make it around 10 minutes before i mysteriously stain my whites.
Yeahh huh. At the end of the day whites get so dingy somehow. If you pay attention, you can literally see the dust setting in from the wind or something lol.
Ten minutes into the film, I noticed an odd occurrence where two female characters seemingly developed a sudden animosity towards each other, despite having no prior connection. It was puzzling because they had both awakened in an unfamiliar location and had no reason to harbor such hostility. It felt implausible that they would instantly despise one another without any logical basis. Additionally, another glaring issue was that these characters couldn't initially comprehend why they were wearing identical outfits, which seemed quite nonsensical. Moreover, it was evident that the writers neglected to consider basic everyday hygiene protocols. It's highly unlikely that one's breath would remain fresh in the morning, and strangely, the female characters appeared to have glossy lips and flawless skin as if they were wearing makeup. The series took a disappointing turn when it prematurely revealed that the characters were actually part of a simulated environment, thus robbing the viewers of the anticipation and satisfaction that would have been derived from future episodes.
The actress playing the bitchy redhead especially, her character is so hateable and awfully written in a show so badly received that it might end up killing her career...
I remember watching Gilligan's Island with my grandfather when I was little. And I remember him saying the professor can invent a lot of things except for a way to get off that damn Island.
I’m so glad to find out this show is just as confusing as I thought, I’m waiting on an autism diagnosis and I really thought i was just not getting it bc I’ve recently learned my brain doesn’t work like other people. Good to know the writers are the problem lmao
When the woman with the knife says; "You got something and I got something" it would have been great if she cracked her over the head with th conch shell and then the credits roll.
Not gonna lie. I had forgotten that I had actually seen this. I legit didn't remember the name, the premise, or anything... My memory was jogged when seeing certain scenes and then my brain was like "Oh yeah! We've SEEN this! We must have just... discarded it."
As far as I can tell, reading up on the history of the show, it doesn't appear that this series actually had writers, just numerous producers taking writing credits. Is it really possible that Netflix would have looked at this situation and said, "Good, here's your $2,000,000 per episode now run with it." Well, apparently they did, because according to the internet the series cost around $14 million total.
but you see, modern writers do not care about the audience. In their mind, it is important what the characters feel and hink, not how the viewer reacts to them. For modern writers, the characters are not the tool to tell the story to the audience. The audience is graciousky alowed to witness the characters being the story.
@@narutowebby It's kind of old-fashioned now, but calling something an i-world or an e-market literally means it's online or electronic. It's probably even still obvious to a lot of people today, seeing as one of the comments above compared it to Apple and technology.
Here's my rewrite of The I-Land: as they begin starving they contemplate eating someone. Eventually, one of them kills themselves and so they eat that person. As they're all eating, some fireworks go off and they realize they're on a vacation hotspot, with hotels just over the hill
When the guy said “maybe we’re on a work trip” and she responds “this isn’t teambuilding” I thought the twist would be that this was all a test run simulation used by workplaces to literally do just that. Kinda like an advanced escape room. The issue then would be the awkward dynamics when they wake up from the simulation after having tried to rape each other, kill each other, etc. I feel like this would’ve been an interesting twist
The writers probably thought the "learning our names is enough for one day" girl would be a fan favorite because she is dark and brooding, and also a supposed "voice of reason" ...
@@NathanTarantlawriter ( _she's_ not the one with ... k, the one OP was talking abt is petite and has her shirt buttoned ALL THE WAY UP lol .. the mean red head)
I come back and watch this every couple months because it's mind-blowing that not only did a group of people write this but then a group of people read it and thought "We need to get this to the masses ASAP!"
That reminds me one of my main critics about Lost. I could not understand why the various characters were constantly hiding important survival information. Find a plane wreckage? Keep it secret! A door in the jungle? Secret! A pirate boat? Let's not tell anyone. An underground base full of equipment and food? Secret!
@Dayspring It's not so much about real secrets but how important information did not propagate as they should within the survivors. I could be wrong but I think that this happened with the polar bear. So in S1E2 a polar bear is killed by a group of 6 and I am pretty sure that several episodes later (or even seasons), it is revealed that another character is not aware of the presence of polar bears on the island. I checked S1E3 and it seems that the group of 6 'forgets' to warn the other survivors about the presence of aggressive polar bears on the island.
I started watching this show accidentally on mute...and the first few minutes completely silent were fantastic. Then she met other people, I realized my mistake and lasted about 5 more minutes before I turned it off and never watched again.
I live in Hawaii and use to work as an entertainer in Waikiki. Trust me, you can't just blow into a conch shell to make a sound. You actually have to blow into it like a trumpet. Which is difficult if you have never done it before.
I heard a story about someone finding a beautiful big shell on the beach, and right at the moment he reached for it, a big centipede crawled out. I was hesitate to even pick up shells on the beach after that, let alone blow them.
The relatability of the characters comes from the diversity of the cast, obviously. You relate to them based on genetics rather than actions, behaviors and "making sense."
The worst part is that the name doesn't even make any sense. At first you think "Oh, it's called I-land because it's some sort of electronic/virtual place, right?". But then it later turns out the "i" means "1" because it's the first island. So in reality it's just a lame pun, but one that only works with the first island you build, because as soon as you make another one then it'll stop making sense. I swear, this show has to have been written like a game of telephone.
The aim was to knock out the competition, then become worse. It's like when a corporation undercuts its competition through underpricing, then when it has eliminated them, it cranks the prices back up.
@@anonb4632 even the original shows they created which used to be great are declining in quality. Nobody I know thinks season 3 of the crown or stranger things were the best.
Want to build a shelter. No Want to find food. Nah Want to find a source of water. No Want to walk down the beach in a random direction for a random reason and shit on what we find. Hells yeah.
Agent:"Did you read the I-Land script I sent you?" Actor:"Yeah, man, but this is really shyte. It's like a bit of Lost with a shot of The Tempest, the characters and dialogues are like from a Theatre of the Absurd/Teenage Drama hybrid, and then - big twist - it's just a matrix like prison VR simulation that is a play on the punishment speculation of simulation theory. Lots of other en vogue themes like domestic abuse and capitalism criticism but I have no idea what the message is supposed to be if there is one at all. It just feels like somebody had a nice idea and then lots of people added their own thing and after 20 rewrites everybody just gave up." Agent:"Yup. Pretty much. And it really doesn't pay that well, they only have 14 million for 7 epsiodes. But it is shot from mid october to mid december in the Domenican Republic when the weather is the nicest. So basically it's gonna be a 2 month all-inclusive vacation with lots of rum based cocktails and a lot of temporarily single people ... if you know what I mean." Actor:"Where do I sign?"
I gave you a sub for this. I tried to watch this show when it first came out. I only made it through the first episode. I was curious about how it ended… but not curious enough to suffer through the rest of it. Thanks for taking one for the team. :D
My friends and I watched this show quite a while ago and we ended watching half of it mute, coming up with new lines on the spot and voice acting them. That was funny. Sad thing is that you could just watch it mute for a long while and when you turned on the sound again you wouldn't have missed a thing. Also our version of thr show was a lot more fun and also made more sense eventhough we were just going with random stuff.
It seems like some of these shows are like when rich parents shell out money for their extremely untalented children to make something they have no business making. Like a rich kids project while they are suffering from the Dunning Kruger effect. Or someone made a bet that that people are so stupid they would watch a show written by a child. Then they have their 10 yr old son write a script and fund its production.
If you take the number of steps between people and multiply it by the number of people, you get… The exact distance over which those people were lying when the awoke. 😳😂
I watched and read Lord of the Flies a number of times, so if present or future me wound up on an island with a conch, I'd blow it. When meeting the group of other people, I would also continually remind them that "I have the conch," a reference to Lord of the Flies that I would not expect the other islanders to "get". The fact that they did not get this reference would amuse me, and I would continue to make it, and I would get even louder with my "I HAVE THE CONCH!" bellows until they got tired of me, overwhelmed me, and beat me to death with the conch.
I don't know about you, but as a white dude who has spent a lot of time outside without immediate shelter, taking clothes off is the last thing to do. Good luck with that 3rd degree sunburn on a deserted island.
Mark, you were hitting on all cylinders this episode 😭😂🤣 I haven't seen you freaking out at such bizarre writing/acting since your review of The Ring reboot. I laughed hard throughout this entire episode with 21:45 being my favorite part.
At first, I thought this show was somehow related to the Aldous Huxley novel 'Island', also since the first episode of the show is called 'Brave New World'. But no, no obvious relation except the island-part.
Remember that Disney show "Flight 29(?) Down" that show that was about those teenagers who crash landed on an island? That show and those characters acted more rational than the ones in this show
I guess FanboyFlicks is kinda like my uncle: friendly, gives me an unexpected gift from time to time, a lot in common... Except I would have preferred if Mark took my virginity.
I may blow on a shell EVENTUALLY, when I get bored and tired and already through the acceptance that I am stranded, but defiantly not RIGHT AWAY within seconds of realizing I am on a deserted island possibly alone.
It's a good thing whoever dumped them on this Island made sure their legs and bikini line were waxed. How thoughtful for the moment you might want to go swimming.
good think they made sure to style their hair as if theyre about to say "easy breezy beautiful cover girl". love how they have amazing make up, 0 stains, and no sand in their hair what so ever