@@iamdoofus319I thought I was the only one thinking this way because when I'm on discord talking to new people they literally don't know how to talk to people and then they get bored and block you doing know if you been dealing with that to
"usually when i ask people how they are i expect to tell me how they feel". Most people from the other end don't know that, unless your tone and the way you ask specifically signals that you are actually interested in how they are doing, which is hard to do through text. Most people are just being polite, and are going to bring the point up they intend to discuss with you right after the initial "how are you". Most people don't really care how you are really doing.
I usually just give back the same energy, when someone gives me a "I'm good, how are you" or a single sentence of "how are you" I'll respond with a similarly lengthed response.
I mean "how are you" is just the most generic question ever, maybe just ask "how have you been", or "how was your week", which are also quite generic but at least make a person think about the last few days instead of "how am I feeling right now? uhhh good I guess"
I personally like "how was your weekend"/"what'd you do in the weekend" and "is there anything new?" They are generic enough to let people get around the question if they don't feel like opening up, but at the same time they potentially introduce a conversation on what happened in your lives recently.
messaging just isnt good for this kind of thing. when youre face to face not only is the amount of information infinitely greater, you're also kind of *forced* to talk to the other person and form an involved conversation, because otherwise you both will end up uncomfortably staring at each other. words instantly come out of your mouth without typing, you move your body, you can talk on top of one another, shit's just different.
Dude this happens so often with me that I used to think that they're just trying to ignore me but then I realized that people just don't know how to talk, the only conversations that are fun are only the ones where both parties are interested or one party is really good at talking to that particular person
I noticed that the more specific a question is, the more is the answer. I do this as a joke where I ask people, “what did you do in the last 48 hours” and man there answer is so specific everytime and helps me be able to choose a topic from what they said and expand the conversation.
Totally true. Btw, I've found your channel through Shazam video and you're doing great. It's a shame you have less than 1k subscribers. But at least I could tell my kids I was here before the first million.
Pretty sure some are just not in the mood, are just like that, not feeling ok atm, or feels like they'll be talking too much and that the other person wouldn't care, or they just don't know what to reply.
"How are you" and "what are you doing" are the most uninteresting ways to start a conversation. It avoids you of expressing what goes on in your mind and making yourself appear interesting to talk to, so you will only get uninterested results. I avoid conversations because of this, but last time I started a convo it was "what do you think is the most interesting murder motive?" Interesting thoughts and questions will provide access to interesting sides of other people.
Exactly. I always get overwhelmed when people ask me how I have been like do you want me to tell you my whole life story but things like this get people to be interested in the convo and keep it going.
he just spent the entire video trying to say that he want to talk to YOU and hear from YOUR life. he doesnt want to have superficial conversations about insignificant joke topics. i relate to him.
It only BECAME an uninteresting way to start a conversation because the default response became "good, hbu". When people used to get asked "how are you" they would say something about their lives
I used to naively give genuine replies to those questions. Their next message? "good for you" "cool" "aw sorry man" "wow" Then they'd either disappear or start talking about a random game I don't play or movie I don't watch. So I've just learned that nobody wants an answer.
I have some thoughts on this. First, you can't just message/text people out of the blue and ask "How are you?". You need to at least use some more words. "Hey, we haven't talked in a while, how have you been doing?" is a much better way to ask. Also, in my experience, people are more likely to ask "How are you?" IRL - not in text. Either way, it's not in actual question, it's basically become just a greeting. If someone is actually interested in how you've been doing, they need to communicate that with more words, such as in the example I gave. I think "wyd" is perfectly fine if it's someone you chat with regularly. The way I see it, it's basically "Hey, I see you are online at the moment and I'm in a chatty mood, what are you up to today?". Asking that to someone you haven't talked to in a while might be kind of weird though. Personally, I feel like I'm much better able to communicate over text. I'm not sure if I've always been this way, or if it's a consequence of me being socially isolated for like the past 10+ years from age 17-27 and only ever chatting with people online, until recently. Recently, I actually started trying to socialize IRL. A few people have told me they are a bit surprised by how much more social and expressive I am online, compared to in person where I'm shy and quiet. I find it interesting because from what I've heard, most other people are the opposite. Most people have an easier time communicating in person.
yeah. quality to quantity imo. of course, if you talk to people, have good quality conversation, but if you have lots of conversation with that person (higher quantity) then you can 'decrease' in 'quality' and just say 'wyd' to sort of prod at them like yo whats good. the more comfortable you get with a person the more comfortable in silence you get and don't feel like you need to say something to clear the air.
nice video bro. i was thinking how you would put out a good video being a small channel and all. but i just realized even though your channel is small, you've probably spent a lot of time doing this already. thats great👍🏽 good video man
I never really thought much about this, most of the time I just don't have anything else to say so I end up responding in that way. Also while making this comment, I'm trying to use as many words as possible so I don't end up being judged the same way as the people in the video.
hey! quick response i know, im kinda active (am sick atm)- but for more u can check it up on my channel, in the future im planning to upload more of what works (topics similar to this video, or real life situations, secret spoiler for you: next vid is abt friends canceling your plans for hangouts etc)
This dude does small talk dry texting expects the other conversion partner to make the conversation interesting and wonders why people aren't interested in talking to him. WTF? Yes it's a you problem...
Also how are you is literally just a hello in many countries and not even a conversation starter. No one who asks you "how are you" is interested but just wants to say hello and then start the actual conversation. This is such basic conversation knowledge that this video made me mad..
@@thekornrole if "how are you" is not a conversation starter than could you give me a list of a few conversation starters you believe to be real conversation starters
@@thekornrole I came here to say this exact same thing. Although we ask how are you in the English speaking world, the expected answer is already fine/good/ok, it's more like like a greeting than an actual way to get information about people. After the ritualistic exchange of how are you, you can ask what you actually wanted to ask. I'm from the UK and it's quite common for people to use: You alright? (as in are you [doing] alright?) to mean hello. Well this doesn't mean that this generation doesn't have a problem with socialising, but I don't think you can judge them for not having much to say to "how are you".
