Why Hoarders Need Our Compassion, Not Judgement

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This is part 2 of Julie's home. We will be sorting through piles in the living room and dining room and categorizing them. Some of the collections of particular items are fascinating!
Julie has had a lot of trauma in the past few years which has triggered some hoarding. She grew up in a hoarded home, but actually kept a clean and tidy home for the most part up until a few years ago when she had multiple traumatic events occur. Hoarding was one of the ways she dealt with the trauma.
We will talk about mental illness and hoarding disorder and what kinds of factors make you predisposed to hoarding and why chromosome 14 could be responsible for some of that.
Donations are graciously accepted through my PayPal link. 100% of donations are used for helping the homeowners with things they need: www.youtube.co...
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Опубликовано:

29 сен 2024

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Комментарии : 625

@LazyDaisyDay88 7 месяцев назад

I really admire what you do! I find myself getting angry with hoarders. I know its a mental health issue but they never seem to want to be treated and they put their family though so much misery. I'm impressed with how calm and compassionate you and your mom are.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

I have had moments of frustration, for sure, but overall, mostly I just feel sad that this is such a struggle for them. 😞

@CAGChannel1 7 месяцев назад

Watch Midwest magic cleaning. So so compassionate and explains so much, and just oozes understanding and teaching that understanding to the world.

@labradorite8256 7 месяцев назад

I've noticed a lot of mental health disorders seem to be triggered by trauma. I think hoarding might be a kind of OCD. I saw a show about it and the brain scans of those with OCD are different to neurotypicals. Maybe the brain trying to protect itself against the trauma, but Its actually making things worse? Terrible to be locked inside yoir own brain like that.

@Dwd63 7 месяцев назад

When a hoarder asks for help they have to be willing to let stuff go otherwise nothing changes and no matter how patient you are it’s a waste of time. I think therapy is often needed. I do feel sad for other members of the family. This was a great one and a big difference was made x

@Hayden-rc1ru 7 месяцев назад

Same. I've been watching cleaning channels for a few months, but while it's satisfying to watch, it also makes me irrationally angry sometimes. Probably because I grew up in a hoarder house and developed an obsessive need for cleanliness since. I know hoarding is a neurological disease, and so on, I watch Magic West Cleaning so I heard him talking about that stuff, but I can't get past it. He's right, while I wouldn't shovel everything into the trash like some people say, I also wouldn't go and do the work, so I keep my mouth shut and just watch them do it. I have nothing nice to say, so I say nothing and lurke in silence.

@hummerfan9360 6 месяцев назад

You and your Mom and the other girl are really something. You all deserve a medal. Wow.

@pamela5568 7 месяцев назад

I appreciate the honesty from other commenters. Here's mine. Way before my home became like this I'd have told my spouse to get in counseling and start cleaning up now, or they can live there as a single person. The abuse hoarders inflict on others is just not okay. I hope you'll do an update on this house, I'm cheering for them, but with doubt.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

I'm getting bits of the story of this woman and her family each time I go, and it's all pretty complicated. I can't really disclose all of the information I know, but it is a very complicated history, lots of back-to-back traumatic events. She is in counseling, though I don't know if it is specifically for the hoarding or just the trauma. I can't really say one way or the other what I think they should do because I'm sure I only know a very small portion of what's going on. I just try to get them to a more manageable state and hopefully take one stressor out of their lives so that they can focus on healing. It is infuriating at times, and I'm not even family, so I can't even imagine how I would deal with this as a family member, but I know she has no intention of hurting them. And, to be honest, I am starting to have some doubt that we can get the house back to a manageable state because, so far, she hasn't gotten rid of much of anything. We are just organizing it into categories, but until she can let go of some of this stuff, it's not going to change. Supposedly, this weekend, she will be having a big yard sale to get rid of stuff. We shall see...🤔

@debbieellison8011 7 месяцев назад

You my Dear are a God Send! ❤️

@irenefitzpatrick6480 7 месяцев назад

Great stuff Bonnie! You’re really helping them get their lives back on track! ❤❤❤❤❤❤😊

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

I hope so!

@dougandlina 7 месяцев назад

I have never seen anybody put a vacuum cleaner on a couch to clean it, but it worked!

@yourmother0000 6 месяцев назад

THANK YOU for not using filler music! Definitely prefer just the sped up sounds or voiceover.

@MSHoneybee210 7 месяцев назад

It’s a good mentality to have when getting out of this situation is that all this stuff means a chance to get to be abundantly generous. There are situations where essentials are REALLY needed. I help out with a group that twice a month has people lined up just to get a t-shirt and pants along with other items like shoes or coats, socks, etc and all these things come from donations. If someone can look at it as a privilege to get to be such blessing to people it makes it to have been worth it

@cat-mum-Jules 7 месяцев назад

That is a really good way of thinking 😀

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Yes, I totally agree this is the best way to get rid of things.🤗 This is how my friend, Tisha, has been able to get rid of so much stuff is by giving it to people who need it because I usually run across people who need the stuff that she is getting rid of and, if there isn't a specific person to give it to, just donating it to the thrift store is even a good feeling because you know people are getting nice things at a reduced cost. I totally understand she wants to sell as much as she can to try to recoup some of the money she spent, but I hope that she is able to donate the things that don't sell so that she is not bringing those items back into her home and can bless the lives of other people. I think that might be the key to helping her let go of some of this is pointing out that she is providing a service to others because she really does like helping other people and maybe she hasn't really thought about the fact that she can just give this stuff away as a charitable thing to do. Love it!❤️❤️

@krisvanallen 6 месяцев назад

This is how I remember: “stationEry” means “lEtters.” “StationAry” means it “stAys still.”

@karenfelska4735 7 месяцев назад

Love your work here and I don't mind the noise in sped up video. If I find it a little irritating I just turn down the volume!! Problem solved 😂😂😂❤

@zerocasualteas 7 месяцев назад

Bonnie, you are doing such a great job & are so understanding & patient! I love how much you help others! ❤

@ashcraft555 7 месяцев назад

Middle age problems: Having trouble getting rid of empty boxes because they're like, really good boxes. I'm working on cleaning out my house in preparation for putting it on the market and I discovered I had "good boxes" squirreled away in every corner of the house. It took three full Suburban loads to take them to the recycling center, even with them all flattened. (And that was only the less good of the good boxes because I kept a decent amount for the move.)

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

That's hilarious! It's funny to find memes that talk about a good box. My friend and I will exchange pictures sometimes when we find a good box and drool over each other's boxes. 😂😂

@tahirihwalsh6217 7 месяцев назад

The after shot of the kitchen - wow!!! Amazing job. Your mom is awesome btw. And so are you of course! ❤

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Aw, thank you!💕

@jemreandeau3583 7 месяцев назад

Amazing job as usual, you and Mac are so lovable. Loved the Laurel and Hardy video. 😊❤

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Thank you so much!!😄

@jenniferlashley2081 7 месяцев назад

Great job! Love your mom! I enjoyed the "movie" of putting on the couch cover - making a humorous "Keystone Cops" type of film was a great idea! Looking forward to the next video!

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Thank you!

@johnkelly9451 7 месяцев назад

We loved that video too! It just goes to show how difficult a sheet with the elastic is to put on anything sometimes! Great job mom and Bonnie!

@cindykoehn7680 7 месяцев назад

As I see the plastic shopping bags go I 😢! In 🇨🇦 we got rid of one use plastic, we don’t get plastic bags anymore 😭 I have to say you handled cleaning the fridge with her like a champ. BTW a your Mom is hilarious! There’s a special place in heaven for you Mack, Barbie, your Mom……. Keep the videos coming 🥰

@evelynsaungikar3553 7 месяцев назад

Yeah, I wish I could get those. I use them for trash, now I have to buy single purpose kitchen trash bags, so we’re no farther ahead!

@louisedillon6797 7 месяцев назад

You from New Jersey?

@cindykoehn7680 7 месяцев назад

@@louisedillon6797 no Canada 🇨🇦

@Heymrk 7 месяцев назад

I try not to get them all the time, but they're great for cleaning the litter box.

@Yukon33 7 месяцев назад

I love the sped up sounds. I prefer them to random music! I feel satisfied hearing them, it's like a high energy boost :D

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Glad you like them!

@meredith-akatc8080 7 месяцев назад

I don’t understand why you don’t have more followers. You’re one of my favorites. Just keep going you’re great at what you do. Just know that you are exactly where you’re supposed to be ❤❤

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Awww, that's so nice of you. I'm actually pretty thrilled I already have almost 45,000 subscribers in less than 10 months. When compared to Mack, that's not much, but when it takes most RU-vidrs about five years to get 10,000 subs, I feel like it's going pretty well. Plus, the stuff I've learned over the last year has been priceless. 😊

@angelarothbauer8096 7 месяцев назад

Mack is a legend lol you are doing great

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 6 месяцев назад

Right?! He is definitely an anomaly. I think his advantage is that he has never really masked his oddities as an autistic, but as a female autistic, I think it's a little harder to unmask and show some of that odd behavior. I did a little bit in this video and hopefully I can get more and more comfortable with that because that really is how I am a lot of the time, but it feels really weird to show the world that side of me since really only my family usually sees that because I try to fit in with society outside of my home and tone down my weirdness. But, it seems when I do let a little of that side show, people like it because I think there are a lot more people than we realize that have that weird side to them that we never see, so I hope it makes others feel comfortable being a little more themselves. Anyway, I have basically written a novel here when I really could have just responded with, "Right? Mack is awesome!"😁

@angelarothbauer8096 6 месяцев назад

@@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp - I have an autistic son - he’s 40 now-it’s just a different way of seeing the world- we all have our issues trust me - love your channel

@meredith-akatc8080 6 месяцев назад

@@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp I didn’t know that. So I guess congratulations then. Way to go. 👏👍❤️

@MSHoneybee210 7 месяцев назад

Since humans are animals something that we all have is this tendency of being like squirrels storing our nuts. I guess the more survival or traumatic events, the urge to store nuts is greater

@lauraharshbarger9486 7 месяцев назад

Your mom is just the cutest! I love it when she helps you.

@karenmikasko7148 7 месяцев назад

You are doing such a great job and so is your Mom....she is a worker for sure. Now .... that fridge...I would have just tossed it all and bought her new stuff.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Thank you so much! As for the fridge, I wish I could have just tossed it all and bought her new stuff, but I think that would have been really traumatic for her because, if there is anything that's still good in there, it feels very wasteful to her, which I understand on some level, but the way a hoarder thinks about it is on a whole other level.

@annw1395 7 месяцев назад

I can't imagine trying to sort, tidy, and clean in a place like that! There's nowhere to work! You are an angel! I'd be like, can't you see that you have 10,000 towels, and nowhere to put them?

@stephaniefinley7833 7 месяцев назад

😂 You are delightful! Your comments (and your mum's) had me cracking up!!!!!

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

😊 Aw, thank you!

@Emillly3 7 месяцев назад

Holy cow that fridge with the bags!! I’ve never seen those used like that. That house is so overwhelming bc it’s not gross it’s just tons and tons of stuff. I love the happy atmosphere y’all had! That has to be so encouraging to the family. You guys are amazing!

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Yes, that was my first time seeing shopping bags used like that in the fridge. It was kind of helpful though to contain what was kept in them so that, if they did leak anything, it didn't get everywhere. But that's probably also part of the problem is that you can't see what is in your fridge so you forget what's there.🤷‍♀️😊

@madzabinga8382 7 месяцев назад

Well, areas of neglect seem to get pretty gross.

@duanagayle 7 месяцев назад

@@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp i think using those kind of bags in the fridge keeps what is in them hidden, thus less likely used. out of sight, out of mind kind of thing.

@dwt20125 7 месяцев назад

It must be so hard for the hoarder to live like this but very hard for husband/ family .

@LadyAurora10 6 месяцев назад

Unfortunately the guilt doesn't cure hoarding problem. No more than it would cure depression.

@ElenaVexler 6 месяцев назад

I did such a nice pile of laundry while watching this 😊 Also, had a laugh when you said you saw a corner of the table and then the table is round 😅

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 6 месяцев назад

Haha, I guess that's very true.😁

@Rachel-ul8et 7 месяцев назад

This is lovely! I also have been enjoying a hoarders heart. I will always be a recovering hoarder. She does a great job dealing with her hoard. It’s inspiring how she speaks to herself. If you are watching this lady in the video, check her out. It’s great. Also, Marie Kondo.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

I actually told her she should go check out A Hoarder's Heart. I think it would be great for her to hear advice straight from another hoarder.

@RadCenter 7 месяцев назад

Remi Clog is another great channel,@@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp. She has ADHD and cleans for people who have health challenges also.

@MSHoneybee210 7 месяцев назад

Minimal mom is an awesome one too

@sarahperry7995 4 месяца назад

I am a minimalist and this video is giving me anxiety. I would have gotten rid of everything single thing. Great job having patience and compassion. I simply could not do this. Oh that fridge! 😮 Great job cleaning it out! Every time I watch one of your videos I go on a cleaning rampage!!!

@hushhush85 2 месяца назад

Cleaning rampage 😅 hilarious

@victoriaboerschinger2891 7 месяцев назад

I normally find the HOA policies to be very restrictive and unreasonable but I totally agree with a HOA policy that prevents homes, property, pets and people from being ruined or destroyed by a hoarding situation. You all are doing an excellent job and should be very proud of yourselves. Keep up the great work. 🥳😘

@MireVale 7 месяцев назад

I wish hoarding was more seriously regulated because it’s such a fire hazard and danger to EMTs that have to enter a house.

@LB-ht1qk 7 месяцев назад

I agree and because this is a duplex, the fire hazard and insect infestation are paramount.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Yes, I totally agree. It's hard to explain to someone with hoarding disorder that they aren't being picked on, but that these kind of regulations are in place for, not only their safety, but the neighbors as well.

@jamiedecker3234 Месяц назад

Yeah like because of the hoa intervention this house is going to get fixed up before it gets even more overwhelming. Also so many hoarded house become destroyed after years of things piling up and fixtures being unreachable if they're broken or leaking. Because she was forced to clean this up by the hoa she probably will revert because cleaning the house doesn't treat the hoarding disorder and the root of why she's hoarding. I hope that she is able to keep things safe after you're done because living in a house full of stuff to a point where you can't comfortably walk through it has to be stressfu.

@rebeccaashton5390 7 месяцев назад

You are amazing and so is your Mom. I lol at the movie.

@debby891 7 месяцев назад

Bless your heart for your compassion and dedication to helping others, awesome job!

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Thank you so much!

@wendygrelik6373 5 месяцев назад

Haha, Bonnie! I just realized that the back of your shirt says “I’d rather be WATCHING PEOPLE cleaning.” I didn’t see the “watching people” part until you were cleaning out the fridge, and your back was turned to the camera a lot more! Love it!! 🤣🤣

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 5 месяцев назад

😁Yep, that was intentional so that I can have it in my merchandise shop when I have that up and going in hopefully the next couple of weeks. I think most people would rather be watching people clean.😉 But there are a few of us crazy ones who would rather be cleaning.🤷‍♀️😅

@RoseofSharon3 7 месяцев назад

Looks like she’s somewhat of a prep-per.

@LINDAB2025 7 месяцев назад

All I can say is bless ur heart for helping these folks. A helping hand is a great start.❤

@K78644 7 месяцев назад

and sadly, most americans don't even realize there's stationEry and stationAry....

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Yes, I'm a stickler for correct spelling, so if I could see the words spelled out as they are said, I would know immediately she was talking about paper stationery versus something that is sitting in the same spot.😁

@LB-ht1qk 7 месяцев назад

When you were talking about words like stationary and stationery, it brought back a childhood memory of never being able to remember which spelling went with which definition and checking my dictionary each time!

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

😁❤️👍

@CampsitePyro 7 месяцев назад

I wonder if the hoarding condition affected humans when we more nomadic in nature? Can’t bring it all with you. Wonder how many animal pelts people accumulated?

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

I have wondered the same thing.🤔

@dirtbagdeacon 7 месяцев назад

On one hand, I am glad that these folks are making their house safer through cleaning. On the other hand, HOAs are a plague and (IMO) the antithesis of American values. Just my unnecessary 2 cents haha. All your 1920s short needed was someone in a flattop hat and slapshoes doing some wild tumble and flip stunt each time the couch cover slid off a corner. Excellent work!! I hope you all continue to make good progress!

@schnetzelschwester 7 месяцев назад

I think they just incorporate the American (or more precisely the capitalism) values: Buy, consume, produce trash. Buy more. Consume more. Produce more trash. The only difference is, that the hoarders keep their trash in their homes, the others put their trash out and let it throw into landfills.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

😄❤️👍

@lauramitchell6725 7 месяцев назад

In the last video,MANY were wondering how an HOA could have a say over the INSIDE of someone’s home but I saw a comment in this video where someone said that it’s a duplex. Well that’s a completely different story! The HOA laws protect the property on the other half from getting roaches and other pests from their neighbor,also many times there are bad odors that come through the walls from rotting food,neglected plumbing problems,etc. In that case, a good thing.

@valeriecoon5930 Месяц назад

Bonnie I just love your videos. They are a nice combination of sped up and normal speed and you're humility is so charming.

@JOSIE19643 7 месяцев назад

WOW !! You guys worked like crazy !! Great job !! 👏👏👏👏👏👍 ❤🇨🇦

@sandebryant3878 7 месяцев назад

You are very good at what you do. There is no way, no way I could do this. Cleaning for someone who is basically micro-managing you who doesn't clean it is insane. I would have been so frustrated, and anxiety would have been through the roof. Bless you and your Mom for helping this family. I still say horders buy more of what they have because they can't find things. And it becomes more and more things. I hope they continue with the cleaning because there is still a lot to do. I'm surprise they didn't have rats. Awesome job as always ❤❤

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

I know it probably does look like the homeowner isn't helping that much, but she was busy going through boxes of stuff that we would give to her. It's hard to show that though when I'm trying to keep her anonymous. We actually didn't want her moving around a lot because there was one particular day she was helping kind of all over the house and kept going up and down the stairs and, by the end of the day, her feet were so swollen that she could barely walk for the next couple of days. She sent me a picture and it looked awful. 😬 But, I can totally see how it does look like I'm being micromanaged while cleaning. There were a couple of times I felt like that, but for the most part, I was able to work on my own and then just give her boxes to sort through.

@Cindy-cq8zr 7 месяцев назад

Goodness! You all did a lot of hard work! Lots of progress!

@Zombie-adventures 7 месяцев назад

Bonnie you’re doing awesome! Is that all the same silverware pattern she collects? It seemed to me that she wanted to touch every item and relive the memories it brought. How did you deal with slowing down the process to accommodate this, and also the distraction?

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

She goes to thrift stores and buys silverware to try to make an entire set. There are a lot of vintage silverware sets that she has and they are actually really beautiful, but wait until you see the entire corner of her basement it fills up once we get it all together. We still keep finding it in every room and that pile becomes bigger and bigger. 😱I'm sure she has tens of thousands of dollars worth of silverware. If you can get an entire set of the Vintage silverware, it's worth about $500, so that's what she really wants to do if we can get a space cleaned up for her downstairs to properly sort through it and match things up. As far as her wanting to touch every item, it might look like that in the video, but it actually wasn't like that with every item. Most of the stuff we could organize into different piles, but there were just a few things we were unsure about and I also wanted to show my viewers the types of things that we were finding just as an example, so those are the parts you are seeing and it makes it look like she has to approve every item we touch, but that wasn't necessarily the case. We got into a rhythm, and after the initial first couple of days, I was able to break off into other rooms and be a little bit more on my own, so it wasn't as distracting. That stuff will be shown in future videos.

@ABQAdoptableDogs 7 месяцев назад

I adore your mom, so sweet and such a lively lady for her age! ❤

@mindymudge7247 7 месяцев назад

Great job It is so wonderful to see you help this family so tremendously. You and your team are wonderful at helping andvnot being judgemental towards people or their stuff.

@violetgypsie 6 месяцев назад

Interesting that most things in the fridge were parcelled up in plastic bags. I don’t think I’ve ever seen that before.

@hollyjobitner3285 7 месяцев назад

We had in the recently purchased glass containers with snap lids. They are wonderful to see your leftovers. Most other plastic containers have been disposed of. Chinese soup containers live down cellar for future soup/chili that my husband makes and freezes. He does eat them! We like to NOT waste food. Out of sight,out of mind. Best of luck for their future leftovers! 💙

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Yes! I understand that the containers that cottage cheese or sour cream come in or plastic bags are basically free so it seems like the cheaper option to just use those, but not when you can't see what's inside of them and that food goes to waste. I agree you need something that you can see through.

@angelarothbauer8096 7 месяцев назад

Wow thanks for the info on chromosome 14 - I watch Mack but don’t remember hearing this so Yay

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Yeah, I found that so fascinating when I heard that.

@valeriespackman4019 7 месяцев назад

I think the thing I like best about your videos is that you involve the people gat you’re helping. It makes it trickier to film, but it just makes so much more sense.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Yes, there is that balance between wanting them to help because I think they have a higher chance of success when they are helping, but it can be very tricky working with the homeowner right there. There have been days working at this house that I was able to work in another room more on my own so the filming was a little easier and there were less distractions, but she is still plugging along in another room sorting through boxes and bags that we are giving her. Thanks for your support!💕🙏

@jaindeau772 7 месяцев назад

Bags of bags! Yep! I tried to help a friend declutter her house and knew I was in over my head when I realized that the bags of bags were carefully bundled - AND DATED! Two tall boxes blocking one hallway, and another one in a corner elsewhere in the house. I was told they’re “needed.” Never mind that with every trip to the store, they were bringing in more. At 5c/bag where we live, they must have hundreds of dollars worth of bags - not kidding!

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

That's too funny! I can't believe she had them boxed and dated.😱 I also have a lot of shopping bags, but after they don't fit in the space that I have designated for them, I start getting rid of them. I think that's the key to limiting the amount of any item is picking a space for it and, once that space is filled, that's all you get to keep. That's something I have always done naturally, so I'm always surprised when that's not a natural habit for a lot of people.

@josephdaly2015 6 месяцев назад

I understand the bags of bags because I have done it myself and still do to a lesser degree now. I either take the extras to the charity shops or a local store and they are very grateful for them. A plastic bag in Ireland is 22 cent. You all did fantastic work with all the different categories of items including the bags of bags and putting in such a long day too. The fridge looks great. I’ve watched A Hoarders Heart for several years and she gives a great insight to hoarding too. Have a great week. Mary, Joes wife 🙇‍♀️👏💪👍🙏💐🛍

@amara560 6 месяцев назад

@@josephdaly2015I agree! Whenever I have stuff for the charity shop I fill a superfluous plastic bag. Great way to get rid of and re-purpose.

@user-yn7on7ou8n 7 месяцев назад

Distressing?? Wow, having to live like that, would be very distressing. 😮

@michelleflynn4288 7 месяцев назад

Nice job. Huge undertaking

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Thanks 👍

@cherryboo65b56 2 месяца назад

My mom was a neat hoarder and my dad was a not neat hoarder. After health problems and a bad marriage I became a semi neat hoarder. I’m trying read to do my last bag of mail. I shredded 4 bags already. Yes I clean. Yes I try to keep order but at times I just can’t. 😊

@jayneharrison5672 7 месяцев назад

Just wondering how much coins you found so far?

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Surprisingly, not a lot. I found a little cash, but that's about it.

@ginnydare13 7 месяцев назад

I hate chalk, too!

@latiamary5214 6 месяцев назад

👏🏻👏🏻👍

@RoseofSharon3 7 месяцев назад

Bonnie, did you make your shirt? I’d love to have a few to clean in.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Not quite yet. It's actually my brother who just started a printing business and is getting things in place to be able to set up online shops, so sometime in the next month or so I should have set up to start selling merchandise. I love that you want some of my shirts.😊❤️❤️❤️

@CaroleCanada 7 месяцев назад

This video gave me such anxiety! I am far from a minimalist, but all that clutter, and all those useless items make me very edgy. And that refrigerator simply put me over the edge.

@RoseofSharon3 7 месяцев назад

Julie, is going to need therapy for this issue. I pray she gets the help she and her family dearly needs. I know you only want the best for your clients.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Yes, she is in therapy right now, but I don't think it's specific to the hoarding, more just focused on the trauma. She definitely needs someone way more qualified than me to help with that side of things.😬🙏

@Ruth58969 7 месяцев назад

We don't have HOA's in the UK. Good job really. I doubt they'd go down very well here.

@madzabinga8382 7 месяцев назад

I really have a hard time understanding how the husband in this home seemed so complacent. Does he not use the fridge, and the kitchen? How did he live there and not help take care of the house? I mean, that fridge was so awful and a reflection of a brain that isn't braining right. Not sure how a person could live there and not take more responsibility for a shared space.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

There is more to this story that I haven't gotten permission to share, but just know that they each have their own issues (don't we all?😜) and a very complicated history of events I was having a hard time even piecing together, and I think, with the information I do have about the situation, he is doing about the best he can under the circumstances. It was really helpful to have him there a couple of the days we were cleaning.

@rachelstewart6954 7 месяцев назад

I don't believe I've ever seen soooo much stuff in my life. Wow, no one needs 90 percent of that. I don't believe she got rid of enough that's for sure.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

She hasn't really gotten rid of anything yet. I have been trying to get her to do her yard sale since the second week we have been working there and it has yet to happen. Right now, we are just organizing things into categories and throwing away some trash, but if we don't start actually selling or donating stuff, I don't think I can continue working there because I don't like just shifting stuff around. Yes, it might be a little more organized, but it will just end up the same way unless she actually gets rid of stuff. I'm going to let her know this is going to be my last week working there unless she has a yard sale this weekend and sells a lot of stuff and donates what doesn't sell.

@jlaurelc 7 месяцев назад

24:06 - I think you're absolutely right about speeding it up more so we're not trying to make out the conversation. As someone with sensory issues specifically around people speaking, that solved the problem for me!

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Oh, good. I appreciate the feedback!

@SandraNelson063 4 месяца назад

You deserve the Medal of Valor for tackling that fridge. Sulis Minerva!

@dorenedaniels7493 7 месяцев назад

Sweet heart all I can say is God bless you 🙏❤️. I love your work and you and Barbie do a wonderful job oh and I like Mike. God bless you 🙏

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Thank you. ❤️🙏

@tx_s 7 месяцев назад

Great job everyone!

@RoseofSharon3 7 месяцев назад

I know it would have been time consuming but the OCD person in me would have labeled everything in each box that was packed. So I could of just read each label when I wanted something.

@KatMayeux-fd5it 7 месяцев назад

Bonnie, you and your team are champs! Your Mom is adorable I don’t doubt a genetic predisposition to hoarding. Is it nature or nurture? My husband, retired Air Force flight engineer and mechanic, always says… it’s a combination of things that come together just at the right time to cause an accident, incident or situation. So does she have genetics? Trauma? Modeling from parents? Or perhaps all? Nobody knows 🤷🏻‍♀️ Best to proceed with caring and kindness

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Well said!😊❤️👍

@catwood7035 6 месяцев назад

Your old-time movie was hilarious! Those covers are monsters to put on. It looked great at the end.

@pjlacey3990 3 месяца назад

Great job! Next time you tackle a fridge, just unplug it.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 3 месяца назад

OMG, why didn't I think of that?!!! Such a simple solution!😅👍

@princess.smith19 7 месяцев назад

In my OPINION I don’t like when the home owner is there and is hovering over you but I 10000000% understand it takes baby steps to get rid of things . I Love your videos btw 🎉❤

@strider6074 7 месяцев назад

I am curious as to how many bags of garbage, if any, you were able to remove. Or bags to donate? Great job for this woman!

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

We had about a dozen bags of garbage the first day and about 30-40 bags the second week. I didn't really count weeks three and four because there was just a lot of sorting by then, so it wasn't as many bags of garbage. I'm still waiting for her to have the yard sale that I have been encouraging her to do from the beginning to actually get rid of stuff, but something comes up every weekend that we plan one. I'll admit, that has been the most frustrating part. If we don't start getting rid of stuff by this weekend, then I feel like I'm just wasting time shifting stuff around and I'll need to move on to another house.

@paigepatrick7099 6 месяцев назад

Ugh, that fridge!

@sweetpea6987 6 месяцев назад

You are a Wonderful person, I just imagined what that fridge must have smelled like. Leaving things in the shopping bags and just shoving it in the fridge is a sure way to lose food. So happy you are helping these people.

@bearfog07 7 месяцев назад

Hi, Bonnie and mum! Wow that was some amazing work you just did. When you said you used to be a gymnast, that explains why you look so slim and agile ( not to mention all the cleaning of course, lol) Thanks also to your other helper!

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

LOL! That was over 30 years ago that I was a gymnast, but, yes, I have always tried to stay active. In fact, sitting and doing nothing is one of the worst things that I can imagine.😁 Relaxing is very hard for me.🤪

@bearfog07 6 месяцев назад

@@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp I know what you mean, Bonnie, I get bad back and hip pain if I sit around. I like to get something done each day.

@CammyHell 6 месяцев назад

OMGosh the English language makes me so mad too lmao😂 I’m telling you we are twins separated at birth haha

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 6 месяцев назад

😄

@sheilacaine 7 месяцев назад

CAN YOU SAY BAGS, BAGS, BAGS AND BAGS AND MORE BAGS. IM SORRY THAT DROVE ME BAGGIE. 😂😂😂😂 Wow I think when I get up tomorrow I’m throwing every bag I have away and I don’t have that many. 😂😂😂😂 Great job all of you. ❤❤❤❤❤❤

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

😄👍

@britaccent4352 6 месяцев назад

I don’t know if I knew you are autistic, but I had to nod when you said it because of your “stationary” comment, and then needing to quit gymnastics because of the feel of the chalk. Both my daughter and my son are on the spectrum, and after I’ve learned more about autism, I really think I’m on the spectrum, too. I wasn’t allowed to have anything attention getting as a kid, so I learned to mask so much of myself. Really appreciate you putting yourself out here on your channel and with these folks that need your invaluable help! And I love your mom is involved as well!

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 6 месяцев назад

If you have children on the Spectrum and suspect that you are as well, it's very likely that you are. I talk about my diagnosis in another of my videos right after I found out. I didn't know that there is a genetic component to it and, it wasn't until my 21-year-old daughter told me I was told she was probably autistic by her psychiatrist, that I decided to go get tested. I'm so glad I did because there are so many things that make a lot more sense now. I have also learned a lot more about autism since and how females are much better at masking, which is why it goes undetected a lot of times for females. I'm pretty good at acting neurotypical, but that's definitely not natural for me. It's been nice to be able to unmask a little bit and be a little bit more my weird self. 😁

@teraphIl1000 7 месяцев назад

The fridge cleaning was very satisfying to watch!

@sydneybeanpug 6 месяцев назад

yes it was but if the fridge wasn't working (I thought I heard her say that) then I wouldn't be keeping anything in there.

@Lacuna555 6 месяцев назад

Great Video again, it helps me so much motivating me to get things done, you are such a blessing! A very good book for understanding why and how traumatic events can trigger mental illnesses and problems is Brain Saver by Anthony William. You really understand the world in a different way after reading it. I got even more compassion for people after reading it and it helps me with my chronic neurological illness too. Thank you again for your compassionate work full of love for others ♥

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 6 месяцев назад

Thank you for the book recommendation! I will have to see if it's on Audible. I love to listen to that stuff while I'm cleaning just to learn more about the brains of the people I'm helping.😊

@robynfedalen1777 6 месяцев назад

❤️✌🏻🧹

@angelacacace3705 2 месяца назад

Watching everything get hyper cleaned is kind of fun 😊

@kathywalker997 7 месяцев назад

Another great video! God bless you. I hope these people appreciate everything that you’re doing for them. I hope it makes your life better.

@kellyanne7225 7 месяцев назад

I can totally relate with wanting to keep empty boxes. They’re too functional looking to throw away, right? I get it! Well, my husband and I agreed, they had to go. Then, 2 months later, (ago) we decided to downsize and sell our home. Now today, we will grab a bunch of huge boxes to start packing! 😂

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 6 месяцев назад

It's a good thing there are so many of us box hoarders around so that, when you decide to get rid of boxes, there is always someone eager to take them and, when you need boxes, you can usually just look in the free section on Facebook or something and find a box hoarder getting rid of theirs. 😂😂They are so useful!!

@rachelstewart6954 7 месяцев назад

You'll have to tell us when you're done with this house how much she really got rid of???

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

I absolutely will. I'm curious myself if she's really able to get rid of as much as she keeps saying she is going to get rid of.

@teresatillotson5561 6 месяцев назад

I need to have you clean my fridge that looks amazing. Loved the little video so funny. Your mom is so sweet , you guys make a great team. Keep up the amazing, wonderful and uplifting job you do😁

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 6 месяцев назад

Thank you so much!!

@jennifermckinney6713 7 месяцев назад

I feel so bad for these people because someone had the need to feel important and run to the HOA tattle about the inside of the house..but that's ok because karma is real.i love your channel Bonnie.😊

@sydneybeanpug 6 месяцев назад

but at the same time it wasn't safe. Especially since it was a duplex. It should have a firewall between but you never know

@fillistine 7 месяцев назад

I like the way you preserve client confidentiality by speeding up the film❤

@dalornaballard9329 6 месяцев назад

Hellooo Bonnie great video.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 6 месяцев назад

Thank you!

@dwynn57 7 месяцев назад

wowzer! I watched the others in this series and I have to say, kudos to you and anyone else who does this type of cleaning especially for free! I would be so overwhelmed! and you are so non judgmental! I really appreciate that! I know that hoarding is a mental disorder, and altho I think that most everyone hoards something, I feel for the family of anyone who lives this way, I love your videos! thanks so much for sharing! xoxo

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Thank you!❤️🙏

@schnetzelschwester 7 месяцев назад

Hoarding is not in the genes, but it runs in the family like some weird culture. Children grow up in a hoarded home and believe this is normal. A "normal" home feels empty and lost. Hoarding is the strategy they learned from their parents to cope with stress. It is a firm belief that you must keep all the stuff to be safe, you can use it sometime, you need items multiple in case one gets broken (or two or three). It takes time to unlearn these beliefs.

@kg6801 7 месяцев назад

While it's often difficult to separate a person's biological influences from environmental ones, there has been research involving families, twins and people separated from their biological families that indicates there can be a genetic predisposition that can be present but that isn't necessarily set off until certain circumstances exist. A person who ends up at whatever point with hoarding disorder doesn't necessarily have to have been raised in a hoarding situation to develop the disorder, just as a person raised in such a situation isn't guaranteed to develop it. It's also more than believing it's normal, and a lot to do with different exectutive function and cognitive processing issues in the brain that result in difficulties with things like categorising, prioritising, decision making on top of the need for safety or certainty in keeping things. It's a complex issue that has combinations of various factors.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

@kg6801 I love this response. It's what I would have loved to have said in my video if I was more articulate. I have a hard time formulating my thoughts, but, YES, all of this is what has been floating around in my head and didn't know how to say it. Every person's situation is soooo complicated because of the combination of genetics and environment. That's why I try to have compassion because I will never know what it's like in their brain, just as they will never know what it's like in mine. Anyway, thank you for your comment!❤️🙏

@MoniqueFerlattePaiement 7 месяцев назад

I found that the You Tube channel ''A Hoarders Heart'' gave me a good insight of how a hoarder thinks and what techniques helped her to go from a Level 4 hoarder (scale 1-5) to a Level 1. Her videos started about 5 years ago. Good to watch from the start.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

I actually mentioned to her that she should start following that channel. I listen to an interview with her that was very insightful and have watched a couple of her videos just to understand the hoarding mindset a little better. I think she would be very helpful for "Julie."

@theropesofrenovation9352 7 месяцев назад

Bless you for your patience. I just can't deal with it.

@DJAunt 2 дня назад

My mom is a hoarder and the kitchen is always a bone of contention with us when I visit. They are 82 and 75 and I sometimes think she is trying to poison them both.

@lindsayjohnson7536 7 месяцев назад

Bonnie, you and your mom have the same smile!😊❤

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

😄

@DJAunt 2 дня назад

The grocery bags in the fridge omg, on my last visit my mom had several. Not a good sign for the future. 😢

@helenatkinson4730 7 месяцев назад

That black and white movie of the couch cover was hilarious! I was laughing out loud. You all did an amazing job in that dining room. I'm not sure how anyone can stand to take all that rotten stuff out of a refrigerator. However, I know I have seen worse in other videos. Much, much worse. As far as the HOA goes I'm not saying whether I agree or disagree with their policies. I was just surprised that they knew anything about the inside of the house. They still would not have known if the owner had not agreed to let them in. I doubt they could have gotten any kind of a legal search warrant. However, it's much more understandable for them to get involved in a duplex type of situation.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Yeah, I'm not sure about all the legalities of the HOA involvement, but once I thought more about it being a duplex and having your neighbor actually connected to your house it does make sense that someone needs to check on these kinds of things so that it doesn't become a hazard for the neighbor as well.

@brendaeiler 7 месяцев назад

Super job with all the help you had. Hopefully she can get on the right track. God bless her heart.

@bethcanada7375 7 месяцев назад

You are fantastic for all you do to help this family. God Bless you for all you do.

@ABeautifulMessExtremeCle-zl1wp 7 месяцев назад

Thanks so much.❤️🙏

@elfersmary 7 месяцев назад

I save the plastic supermarket bags for cleaning the litter boxes

@ginnydare13 7 месяцев назад

Yes. Especially since in certain areas they're always threatening to ban them.

@Andreamom001 7 месяцев назад

I use them as trash bags. Many people I know do. Also for cat litter. And I collect the extras to take to Walmart for recycling. I have a couple bags of bags in my car right now.