why i barely talk to people 

This is EXACTLY how I feel. Living alone, traveling alone, taking myself out on solo dates, spending time reflecting and growing. Weekends in solitude and enjoying it. I have an avoidant attachment and I'm introverted so I just don't have the energy for others but I know that as humans we need connection and I need to make the effort. Thanks for sharing Lynette!

Same, 1000%. So funny … I just came across this quote that I feel like u and others may appreciate. “You think you're an introvert because you like being alone, but in reality you just love being at peace, and you're actually extroverted around people who bring you peace”

I can completely relate to this… the loner, avoidant, non high maintenance, introvert who still craves connection! We will be ok lol, we just have to decide what’s enough and too much; and hopefully attract the kind of people who understand this about us 🙌🏾

we are so aligned. i have been so detached from people, it’s a little scary because i love meaningful connections and conversations. i’ve always had a handful amount of friends since a kid, so it’s nothing new, but i am more comfortable being by myself and find myself subconsciously falling back from current friends.

I was actually thinking about this a lot because I am doing research for something I working on. I feel like in terms of myself I never felt satisfied in friendships because I never actively tried to make friends. I would always just be friends with whoever talks to me first and usually, that person is an extrovert and wants to make as many friends as possible without thinking about what is a good friend for them. I don't truly believe there are always bad friends, but there are friends that are bad for us as an individual, and especially with new friendships we operate developing the friendship from the perspective of how we are with friendships we are used to instead of learning what would work for that specific friendship.

I think my discernment with people is so strong , which honestly hinders me. I feel like I know people before they know themselves & it’s completely draining. I also hate small talk. I wanna know how’s life been? What’s your best childhood memory ? What’s your dreams?……😂 I wanna know the core not surface & I understand that can be off putting for people lol

I literally started watching you last year while I was working a job and when I tell you that your channel has been so inspiring to my life. I literally left the corporate world in July of 2023 and I haven't looked back. You are so helpful on this platform ❤️

It's so refreshing to hear someone else saying they're the low maintenance friend 💜 Not everyone understands that unfortunately. At one point I felt like there was something wrong with me because I'm not the best texter and don't really reach out much before or after a hang out. I had an old friend ask if there was any tension or issue between us just because I was distant in her eyes. I had to rethink my part as a friend & consider the role I play after that, but I also am firm about not being the type of friend who you need to talk to constantly. It can be tough, but just wish more people were aware that their friends like their alone time / space too without it seeming like there's any beef.

I was terrible at maintaining friendships in college and then had the realization that I was so down in the dumps that my brain and my heart could not take care of anyone other than myself at the time. Once my mind wasn't as consumed by work/I shifted to 9-5, I found it easier to open space for others' experiences, joy, and pain. I rekindled some friendships and it was hard at first because I wasn't used to being a support system anymore and found it burdensome. It took a couple years until I got to the point where I was proud of the friend I could be to people. It takes a lot of asking questions, being curious and interested in their lives, wanting to learn something from them, and finding a chemistry. Once chemistry is there, it gets a lot easier. Its important to stay vulnerable and never shy away from expressing how much their company means and/or when you're missing them. Reassurance goes a long way in all kinds of relationships :)

I’m 22 so I really relate to living through other peoples lives on insta and RU-vid etc - even now being conscious of this and hardly using social media, I still find myself watching “Day in My Life” vids instead of experiencing my own day in life YA KNOW Anyways I’m glad u made this video as it’s an important reminder to go and live life and find comfort in social life ❤❤

Take some time to realize what you're looking for in friendships and take the time to be a better friend. This has helped me find a circle that I value very much and that values me as well.

Wow, I feel the same, like I went thru the same thing. I like persons, I don’t like people.

Girl this video is MEEE rn. I'm so comfortable with myself right now, and I prefer to be alone most of the time. I feel like the perceived version of me is very different than who I authentically am. You always read my mind!

I feel this. I will say, quitting smoking weed was a game changer in this department. It was giving me such social anxiety, so stopping felt like life opened up again.

notification called me out fr

your videos are helping me out immensely as i’m healing through heartbreak. thank you so much

I can definitely relate! I’m a loner and am starting to truly love being lone and or connecting to like minded souls 💕I feel like in todays world you feel awkward or like something is wrong with you if you like to be alone. But I find there is so much beauty in being comfortable by yourself and doing things by yourself .

As a fellow introverted Aries, this whole video is so validating bc when im ready to connect, I can be a social butterfly, but when the battery dies, it’ll take forever for it to recharge and I always feel so bad

As a Sagittarius I COMPLETELY understand being a low maintenance friend. I really don’t like how avoidant I can be but I’m learning that I just have to figure it out. I have to just stand on who I am and what I need to stay sane on a personal level while still being a good friend.

same. I found that alot of folks do not have conversations of depth/meaning. I have withdrawn from many because of that - but my soul family has been coming in abundance ❤

This video is soo relatable, I'm in a point where I miss having friends but is always so hard connecting with people and feeling that they're connected to me. Thank you so much for sharing

We are in the same boat currently, and for me it was just me being a fortress since I wear my heart on my sleeve. Especially as a Black man, theres very few safe spaces, to the point where I'm expected to embrace struggle, but it was when I was intentional in creating a sanctuary within that complemented the fortress outside that I understood the balance you mentioned. Lynette, you are exactly where you need to be, and I am so glad you talked about this

This was so affirming. I dedicated the past few years to create peace within myself & environment. But recently I was like “damn, did I accidentally create a fortress for myself?!” Im working to shift things where I have more time & resources to be more physically present with my communities

Just started but I relate to this title so much I’m trying to step outside of my comfort zone to socialize

I am alone all the time and enjoy small talk.

lynette!! keep being honest cause that "I feel like I took it too far" regarding getting comfortable with yourself is so REAL...

Completely resonate with the themes of this video. As I am shifting into alightment of my true self. Sometimes I struggle with building relationships too but I have found new communities that have accepted me for me.

Manifest the relationship with others. Be open to new type of relationships because they won’t feel the same as they were when we went to school. You have the right mindset so just be patient. I relate to this and i know my future friends are otw to me.

I love listening to you talk! You’re so chill and relatable, I would love a podcast from you

On my side I feel that no one seems to have anything meaningful to add whether that be thru conversations or friendship.

As a 29 y/o woman the struggle to maintain meaningful friendships is so real 😅 I feel like I have no close friends anymore because everyone I have had in my life no longer meets regularly so they feel like acquaintances now and we keep it fairly surface level and 'catching up' which makes me sad. Texting into group chats is like texting into a void

What in the world ?!? Like there’s no way you’ve communicated my current battle word for word. Even down to having people who we know are soooo present in there relationships but then there’s me, who can barely gain the energy to check in on my family. It’s tough but it’s all apart of the journey 😩 sending you so much love & peace ♥️

My friend in my head 😭💗 everytime you get vulnerable about where you are im in the same space. I loved hearing about your why. Beautiful as always!! We see you!!

I’m 33 and had too many instances of being screwed over so I’m very apprehensive and over-discerning when meeting new people now. I’m tired of wasting time trying to figure out if a person can be trusted… so I avoid putting myself into those situations and don’t do anything outside my “9-5”. Customer service jobs makes me so sick of strangers and I avoid people completely when I’m off the clock

this really helped and reading the comments has validated my experience so much. i stopped giving energy and attention to others who really didn’t cater to me like i think real friends should. i never felt like i could be my true self around anyone but my partner. i was struggling with feeling alone but im so happy others are feeling this way too. i hope to build more connections in the future

people pleasing was deff a protection mechanism for me- as soon as I started being myself, friends and family fell away

My favourite channel on RU-vid. Thank you for being you! 🖤

Love watching your videos Lynet! The topics you share always resonate with me.

relatable , always been an introvert. and only want true authentic relationships. I love being alone most often and only give my time to those most precious and dear to me. my privacy &peace paramount.

Luv luv luv that you spoke on this. Very relatable n important

Thank you for creating such real relatable content like I definitely needed this one 💜💙💜

I recommend you reading the book Attached. it talks about attachment theory and opened my eyes to the fact that being attached in a relationship is not bad, but natural. We keep hearing how bad attachment is nowadays but It actually is not, it's a natural reaction and once we are confortable with being attached in a healthy relationship our personal lives will flourish much as well. Really recommend the book I didn't explain it very good haha

lynette, this resonates so deeply!!!!!

I love your content topics … at 62 I m pretty much silent at home most days… I love it but getting ready to do do a few trips … I like chatting to strangers as I enjoy brighten up their day … I have a lot of wisdom to share and am getting to grips with TikTok. I’ve been on RU-vid for eons… but never took it seriously and constantly… I did it because I loved it…. So I’m going to take my content creator identity seriously

I enjoy going on my nature walks solo, more to the fact that I don't have any outdoor friends. But I am ok. I would rather enjoy doing the things I LOVE solo rather than include others who will not enjoy themselves fully! In the past, I have definitely put myself in rooms I didn't belong all for the sake of wanting human connection. I learned my lessons the hard way but today I am content and I know there are others like-minded and that I do not have to force any connections. They will beautifully manifest on their own.

Lynette! Your journey and mine are so aligned it’s insane 😭 I was a party animal too and such a people pleaser from 17 until like 22. Before I even knew you were moving to NYC from LA. I decided to move back to NYC too because it’s been calling to me to return to source. I’ll be out there early April! Would love to be friends! 🫶🏽

feeling u sis. relating deeply to your season

I feel this! Thank you for sharing xx

This is the most resonating thing I’ve watched in a long time.

This is totally the phase that I’m in right now - loving my alone time but realizing I’m choosing to be alone lol

I relate so hard . I’ve grown very comfortable in my loneliness

I am honestly the same way. I love love love being alone and I always felt never my true self with friends and family, and ended up creating a RU-vid channel too and It’s definitely an outlet for me to express myself on a whole deeper level. That led me to so much self-discovery and even realizing the potential we all hold inside.. me loving being alone and to myself I feel really leads you to genuine people and connections who value the same thing and value overall presence deeper than superficial which led me towards my love relationship I have now and me being pregnant, that is now really not “forcing” but definitely has pushed and taught me to get more out of my comfort zone to communicate more with family now with my child coming into the world it’s allowing me to rest in support and love from family and connection. It’s so much deeper than superficial things and it truly is rare for people to truly love to be alone, to really attract deeper bonds between others. So I totally feel you sis I love you Lynette, I watch every video you post. Lol❤

5:56 I graduated from college around the p@ndemic too and it completely messed up my career and have been diligently trying to recover from that and can't seem to... Four years later and I'm still stuck at this restaurant job and no closer to my career goals (to the point where I feel like going back to school for me was pointless)...

since you asked, idk just for me personally, not being financially secure made me always wanna just work instead of seeing my friends. but there are soooo many factors

I love your chats

Everything about this video made sense and resonated with me! Also… have you not noticed that we love when you ramble? We can keep up😅 we be here!👀

I try not to talk to people much because majority of people are fake... Also I was bullied, out casted and never accepted anyway...

This video is soooo relatable!!!

Love your content Lynette

Sorry amiga no advice but thank you for sharing. I mean it is EXACTLY what Im going through. I just wonder when Ill go back to wanting to connect again. Because right now I just love myself and being by myself too much LOL

It’s ok to make your circle small. As you get older you get more choosy with who you spend time with.

Appreciate the Justice Der loops with the storytelling💙

Yesss being single is so true to this

You're an Aries. Aries rules the self, self identity, independence, self reliance and self preservation

Girl you’re my friend in my head 🧡

I get it and I feel the same but we cannot push ourselves as introverts to enjoy being around people all the time. Your friend enjoys it because she's most probably an extrovert. Yes balance is good, just don't overdo it ❤

i relate to everything you said. been wondering recently why dont i feel the same inclinations to randomly call or text ppl it seems everyone gets and realized, i simply dont. and maybe thats okay lol. but i do want to try more, accept who i am, and hopefully create better boundaries and communicate better to attract the ppl who are okay with this the same way im okay with others being this way.

I definitely feel where you coming from because I deal with the same issue now because I am learning to be okay with just myself. I do feel too you overthink a lot lol sometimes just do it and don't think too much about it

I relate to this a lot

thx for this video sis... i need to listen through properly

so relatable!!

Hey Lynette I love your content. Can you please share where you get your audio for editing?

Whew I felt everything 😩💕

I totally understand from where you are coming from. I have been struggling with being by myself for a while now. However, I do agree that you shouldn't do everything alone and that you should try to make new friends and romantic relationships. So, if you ever need to talk to somebody, I am always open to listening.

I can relate to this so much. However, I am in my mid 30s I am married and I have a healthy balance of still having that alone time even having a child it’s not that I don’t like people it’s just for me, these past couple of years, I had to take a deep dive within myself. Like really get to know myself, and I went on a week vacation Without my kid, without my spouse. People live on this earth and never realize who they are as a person. Sometimes we get so caught up in everything else that we forget that we are human too and spending that time with yourself it’s just so important and having that balance is so important, thank you for sharing❤ sorry if there’s typos, I am speaking the text lol

Love u so much thanks💕

Love the video, I peeped the Justin Der in the background too👀

i needed to hear this

Ugh yes, I so want to connect with people and build relationships, deep or not but when I think about it, it seems so daunting for some reason. And I wonder how it’s not that daunting for others. But if I don’t push myself past this comfort zone I will never go where I really want to be..

Damn crazy how relatable this is😅

Wow, the fact that I been thinking similar thoughts.

This was so interesting. Thanks for sharing. I think even statics show that genz is socially more uncomfortable than other generations. I think covid def had an influence. Im about to have a huge tiktoker on my podcast to talk about content creation and I was going to talk to them about this as well. To more awarenss around this topic which can feel akward opening up about ❤

I’ll spend time with people for a week then be solo for the rest of the month. I’m in a state of healing and building. Once I feel comfortable enough to have stronger boundaries and confidence then I will socialize more and be open to romantic relationships. I no longer date or use dating apps.

It took me a year in a new city before I intentionally started trying to make new friends. Being somewhere new is a lot to take in by itself. Now that I’ve acclimated I’m back outside and it’s going well

I’ve been a person who has kept to myself for years now and now I feel like I don’t know how to socialize with others

I relate to this so much, everything you said. But a big reason is im finding it hard to connect to people like to actually have meaningful conversations or to be present. A little bit my fault but i really do blame my use of social media. Do you recommend taking a hiatus from all platforms or you think its more important to change ya perspective while still using it. Yk?

👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽👏🏽 I’m the same way. I guess I should try to work on it too😅

girl same, during my luteal phase i self-isolate so bad

this was too relatable lol.

In some ironic way it feels connecting to know many girls our age are going through the same thing as I see in the comments. I was just thinking i've turned into some loner freak now, but truly it just seems everyone is burned out, esp after lockdown and with social media etc.

Same

I recognize myself in you, personally II always hated my introversion and secretly hop to get rid of it when I'll be more mature

❤💯 I can totally relate

You will always be loved you don’t validation you are the validation everybody does not deserve your attention everyone doesn’t deserve access to you , your are one of one and should act accordingly ❤

safe to say talking to some ppl was the biggest mistake of my life. Some ppl are so fckd up in the head that just talking to them once or following them on ig makes them think they entitled to your life, job, time, family, privacy. Putting the worst of rumors in the world bc if they talked abt themselves no one would listen. I regret people so fucking much. It is actually insane.

"I can be by myself and enjoy the company..." - (Kanye West 2004). Every 24 hours is a lifetime Lyn Love. When you think of a friend but don't call, send them a song you like...goes a long way. #loveyouchannel

This video was a banger

i think it just a time period in your life were you seek resilience

Don't worry! In life we go through phases. Enjoy your alone time and cherish it!! Before you know it, you'll be back out there without any warning. Also, your age doesn't matter. We all as humans go through this phase, young or older❤❤ Blessings to you!

So so me I have 1 friend my bestie of 8 years