Why I decided to stop having sex. 

😂😂😂

Hit the gym bro

@@rv9122 ok bro 👹

TMI 😄

you are single cuz you play pubg.

I wonder why this is not the norm

​@@Bllairybecause most people aren't mentally healthy. It's an absolute minefield out there.

As a woman I don't feel like I ever chased. It would of been healthier for me if I had learned to set much more clear boundaries because all I needed to do was just open up a little bit to the idea and before I knew it we were in bed together.

@@canchero724🙌💣🧠

Fantastic content .

I so agree with you on this. It’s rare to hear these statements from a man. Refreshing.

​@@whitneykibble7979Yes, the kind of guy women love to _hear_ but are very rarely attracted to.

It’s hot 🥰

Lol you are only saying that. As soon as a man does that in front of you you get turned off.

@@BorisBirkenbaum Hiiii 👋!!! I don’t appreciate you telling me what my reality is and projecting your own tendency to be dishonest onto me! Why would I go through the trouble of lying about something like who I’m attracted to & why on social media? What could I possibly stand to gain from this exercise in futility? You don’t know me! How dare you violate my boundaries that way because of your desire to play a helpless victim (I presume you’re an Incel) and oversimplify by putting things into black and white boxes. I’m demisexual. I’m attracted to personalities first and foremost. If you want to find a partner - work on yourself - especially your personality. A man who makes me laugh and is curious caring and kind is way sexier to me than some boring conventionally attractive man who has no personality and who doesn’t have to be good in bed because he has it easy in that department. (I also have a thing for nerdy brains, eyebrows, crow’s feet and canines/slightly weird teeth.) People are not monoliths. Insisting on refusing to see the nuanced spectrum of personalities and only see the black and white and insisting on putting people in simple, unrealistic boxes is emotionally and intellectually selfish and lazy. It also feeds a negative, self-pitying victimhood mentality that will only serves as an endless loop of self-sabotage and will ensure you will continue to remain unhappy until you find a way to shift that paradigm. You’re the only one who can do this. You’re the only one who has proper power and control over yourself. That’s the only thing in life you’re guaranteed to be able to control. The only thing anyone has control of is themselves. Focus on yourself instead of the ways everyone else may or may not be victimizing you. Be honest about your weaknesses and work on them. If you shift your energy towards what you can fix and control vs what you can’t, your life will change for the better. Yes, I’m sure you’re being victimized by the many, many assholes out there (I know I am & far too often) but giving in to learned hopelessness and being sad about it is not productive. Figure out what you have the power to change (yourself) and how to change it and then you’ll be ready when you meet the right weirdo for you. Who knows, maybe it will be me (I’m still working on myself but think I’ll be ready in a year or so). Wouldn’t that be funny? _”The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.” - Einstein_

beautifully put. self love comes first. I've been divorced for two years now and enjoying the process of building a new life without considering a new partner, just focusing on my growth and rediscovering myself. if a new person comes next, they'll find a better version of myself, I'm sure :)

OMG! The way you think, how much you have gone through, has made you so strong.

Thanks for sharing>. I too am happy alone. There is faint spark of hope for being with “other” but in the meantime , me myself and I are getting along just fine. There are moments, however, when I have to risk my back carrying heavy stuff on my own when I do feel the lack of other but hey. A good relationship must be founded on good friendship first rather than this thing called romantic love.

It is okay to not liking being alone. It has it's good and bad moments, but it is very good to know that you can stand on your own and not gonna settle for just the sake of a relationship! It was very depressing for me every once in a while the idea of maybe never finding a partner (I was single for over 10 years), but it's a great feeling that I can be with my partner, because I chose to not because I depend on him. But he makes my life a lot easier/better now and I only wish that for you one day.

Yes. This has been my focus for the past few years as well. I wish more men were able and willing to grow in this way. I’m impressed

Many kiddos if you do unsafe sex

@@miles611 😂😂

Kiddos yes

​@@miles611No more, man! Get an update about fertility rates of average post-industrial plastic poisoned and mobile phone radiated men. Where do you put your phone? In the front pocket, next to your balls?

I had the same mindset as you but I was 22 when I first had sex and I totally regret it because I feel like I betrayed myself somehow. Got into friends with benefits situation that ended up damaging me really bad. All I’m gonna tell is this, listen to youself, be true to yourself and how you feel, I wish I had done so back then.

You may want to look into demisexuality!

There's not right age to have sex for the first time, you'll feel when the right person is with you and sex won't be so important in a healthy and real connection (if the guy really likes you, he'll have that mindset and he'll stay with you for the person you truly are). The best things will come when you don't expect!

@@sasjaw.5651 no. it's just having standards.

@@jubiterr I also call it by another name. 'Normal'. I fully believe that the sweeping majority of people originally feel this way but hookup culture has tricked them into thinking that sleeping around indiscriminately is what's supposed to be normal. I don't get this current phase of the internet that reinvents or relabels things that already exist.

So I decided to sort my teeth issues once and for all during the pandemic and have been in Invisalign for 2.5 years in my mid thirties . I unintentionally stopped dating during this time and started focusing on myself and reading a lot. I’m so happy I did! I feel this unexpected sense of calm and contented ness , my creativity went up because the “noise” was removed- , a by product I did not see coming . A lot of what you said resonated with me. Great video !

As a 54 year old woman, I completely agree. I’ve just returned from a short vacation where a sexy, handsome man (with whom I connected with in a short period of time) asked me if I wanted to spend a wonderful afternoon exploring each other in his nice hotel room. I verified his story of who he was on the web while we talking, but I politely declined. I just don’t feel the need to connect with another physically like that these days. And I like that I didn’t need to convince anyone of my choice. I’m about me and exploring more of me these days.

YES!

I hate the word creativity man. Creativity is such an innate thing.. no amount of anything will change that, we’re either born with it or not

@@jenesaisvraimentpasquoimet8473 Ok. So never learn how to swim, do math, do anything.... I wasn't born playing music. In fact, I sucked big time at the piano before I discovered my instrument. Your way of thinking is very small.

@@jenesaisvraimentpasquoimet8473what a crock of shit, and thoroughly incorrect.

Wait how is it an achievement to go a year without masturbating? I’ve never masturbated in my life and I never plan to. It’s not that hard.

What are you looking for?

I completly agree with you! It wasn't until I met the man of my dreams about 2 years ago that it helped me realize I will never have something like that. I have made peace knowing I will be alone for the rest of my life and still be a virgin. Finding a connection like that is pretty much impossible to find. Heartbreaking, but there's beauty in living your life alone!

I agree,it's better to be single than to settle

Exactly what is it that you're looking for?

Are you looking for an alien?

Translation: I would never sex you nathaniel but keep doing this for the world

I agree 100%!!!🙌🏻🙌🏻🙌🏻

Well said! Totally agree 😀

I do not think he is vulnerable at all, he is being brave, honest and real. You think he is exposing himself because you really care what others think, he doesn't.😊

“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else, can I get an amen?” - RuPaul

You’re so right though! 🙌

Dunno, sounds like the solution is self work, not completely dismissing women?

Mama Ru would be so proud

What country? What you described reminds me of Poland, where I live

JayZ should use that last line as a song remix.

@@unknownyoutube0 I hope from the bottom of my heart that this comment is an art of irony

There isn't any contraception that would be 100% safe from getting pregnant, it might be shocking to you but many women get pregnant WHILE using some forms of contraception. Hence it's very smart to not have sex if you don't want to risk getting pregnant.

My sibling got pregnant with 2 of her 3 kids while on some form of contraception. Different brands/types each time too. 😆 if you don't wanna have kids, don't risk it.

What? This guy overcomplicates basically everything.

Having sex is like having money, it only becomes so obvious how important it is when it’s gone. See what happens if the sex stops, the marriage will end

You tryna paint the picture like it's black & white, which is certainly is not. Let everyone find out for themselves

@@techno6106 lol absolutely nothing is black and white. But one universal truth is that people say sex is soooo important, when I think we all need to deconstruct that a little.

I’m so tired of hearing this line that “sex is a human need/necessity along with water, food and shelter.” Ok… *¡NO!* You will _not_ die if you never have sex or “enough sex” (whatever that is). It will be okay. I swear people like Hugh Hefner took advantage of the feminist movement and fed lines like this one ^ and “a truly liberated woman has ALL the casual sex!” When I came of age I thought I was a freak for not knowing what it feels like to be “horny” (I imagine it’s like hunger but in your loins instead of stomach?). I am absolutely disgusted by the amount of male “friends” I lost because they shamelessly whined about being too horny and insisted they absolutely needed me to let them do sex in me… (like “you have this neat thing called am opposable thumb along with the creativity of human intelligence - _allegedly…_ use it, not me”) and then none of them could fathom why I wouldn’t want to remain friends w/ them after being objectified that way. They sincerely thought that _they_ were the ones who were victimized in this scenario. _”If men have anything it’s the audacity.”_ Turns out I’m demisexual and it’s been 6 years of celibacy. I’m goooooooood, thank you. #AintNobodyGotTime4That #CostsOutweighBenefits

Also, this narrative about how utterly important it is that a couple has sex all the time puts so much unnecessary pressure on couples. Everyone is different. No one in the history of human existence has ever had the same exact brain. Why do we need to force everyone in the same box? Black & white thinking is so intellectually lazy.

At this age Might as well give up. All that’s left are single moms and whales

It is good that you understand this at such a young age. No one is made for anyone else. Only yourself is made for yourself. Love isn't a thing has to be given by someone else in order to have. Once you go to meet yourself and know yourself, then you can generate love from within.

As someone who recently turned 39 you’re already years ahead of what I found out in my late 20s. A lot of people I know (even in my own family) are constantly jumping from relationship to relationship or scared of being single & ONLY in relationships because they think it’ll fill some void in their life just having someone around (even if they don’t truly love them).

Virgen

@@erikahuxley i took this as them being single for 17 years. which is wild

@@FromTheHipp yes, 17 years single. I'm 45

I felt that way for years. I then decided to explore the casual scene on MY terms, to find out what MY wants/desires actually were. Not just to please my partner. When you take the romantic love part out of it, you really can explore your sexuality. Try different partners and different skill sets. It was liberating. I know everyone is different and I couldn’t live that way forever, but it really helped me understand what I needed and wanted in a partner in and out of the bedroom. I wish you every happiness by the way stranger. Thanks for sharing your story.

I'm a guy, and the only casual encounter I've evr had, the next day I was crying (and I never cry). I don't do casual. I think lust really gets in the way of building a true relationships based on other things (REALLY based on other things) first. I think the sexual impulse is really something that was encoded in us to force us to copulate. I don't think if we are 100% healed and alligned with our soul, we get the some impulses.

​@jeanjacqueslundi3502 It is good you can be honest with yourself. As a girl, I can only confirm to you, how many guys actually feel like you... very hurt, very broken and literally crying... ( after "cool hookup" whaterver it is) you can't even imagen. The problem is many times it's portrated as something "cool", very rarly guys can open up how they really feel about it even before their buddies or sometimes even themselves. I had men and guys crying, telling me how they really felt. And literally they are all the normal men, that you would see strong day to day life, they just felt safe with me... and to my own surprise, because I know it's very vulnerable for a man to cry. I dont know if these men ever cried like that infront of anyone else, ever... I guess I earned it by respecting them. And I've learned a whole lot of their real soul and had understood a lot more of how that sex has deep negative effect on men, not the lies we are given about.

@@darcyd2680 Yeah we overemphasize our genders. We are essentially the same as men and women....much like kids are the same up until a certain age (sure, girls are said to develop a bit faster or whatever). It's just it's easier for a person in a female body to express the emotional side...and easier for a man to express the mental side. What happens is in a society govern by the mental....and where our faulty software often overrides our feelings.........we learn to suppres all sorts of stuff. And along with it.....we also support vital emotional feedback on how societal values individually makes us feel. Curiously enough, my experience wasn't about having a cool hook up or any macho bs.....I'm genuinely a very sexual person....and it was an experience that made me aware I need to channel it differently.......because I'ma one person kind of guy. Even serial monogamy I'm iffy about...... As I dissect stuff...the lust and strong sexual impulse is really abouy being SEEN. Seen and accepted. It's also our minds and conditioning that determines, for example, sex is the only way to achieve that goal. Or pleasure. There's other forms of pleasure. I remember having meditations where I experience orgamisc.like bliss that was more powerful than any sex I have..........so really.........sex becomes a fixation for us humans for various reasons.....but it's just a MEANS to meet a need.

Completely agree.

I don't think that was his message tbf

Just saying - I met my husband on Tinder of all places (which is so random we met there bc we both despised dating apps). He's sweet, intellectual, and a gentleman, and we've been happily married now for almost 10 years. I always had trouble dating (and so did he) until I took a chance on him and that darn app. I would have hook-ups with people I met randomly, even though I wanted more; interesting how I met a real genuine partner on a hook-up app. We never would have crossed paths naturally without its help. Unfortunately, it doesn't always work out the way movies romanticize meet-cutes.

Keep dreaming. You have to put yourself out there

Waiting for life to happen to you is an easy way to watch life pass you by. If you want something, you need to invest time into making it happen. Otherwise, you're just being lazy about it.

AMEN 🖤

Same @Katiem6773! I am experiencing a freedom I had never lived before.

Maybe he is the biggest?

@@tracymcgrady4867 why so basic...

​@@somewhereatvinlandI was more "sophisticated" when i was young

This is really refreshing to hear a males perspective. As a woman who doesn’t sleep around I feel judged if I did sleep around and also judged for not. And because I don’t I worry other men look at me as inexperienced, frigid or something alike. Yes I might not be the most experienced but I’m happy to explore intimacy with the right person that makes me feel safe.

It's crazy how certain things in life don't come until you stop chasing it

You'll be even more free when you stop putting labels on yourself and on life itself.

🎉🎉🎉🎉

I don't understand why folks can't just be lonely, why do they have to be incels and hate women. Many people are just simply lonely.

​@@cantbendkneeI think loneliness is more difficult to deal with. Hate just comes by itself and keeps you busy being a piece of crap.

Exactly. Some things you can only learn on your own but there are other things you can only learn with an intimate other. A healthy relationship provides a mirror to make you really see yourself.

@@nickxiao6126 Even the unhealthy relationships provide a lot of life lessons

yo tampoco consumo azucar! que buena analogía, gracias por compartirlo :)

It's different for some people tho. I never felt much of that connection from sex or kissing. For me it was always an ok bodily pleasure and nothing more. I felt the deepest connection while just talking(however it might include some physical contact, but not in a sexual way) one on one for a long time without distractions

I don't get how people are bashing sex 😆casual sex during my twenties or intimate sex, both things i am grateful for that we have in life. i am afraid that Nathaniel's overthinking is leaving people confused here 😂

@@TheTeeProd lol, not overthinking

@TheTeeProd it's okay for you to be into sex and it's okay for other people realize there is more to life than sex. Let people be different, guy.

Hola Fabrizio. Yo soy una Chilena vieja que viví por demasiados años en USA. Esa es una sociedad emocionalmente compleja y generalmente vacía y materialista. No te dejes arrastrar por sus valores. Se poderoso en tus principios y prioridades ya que eso es lo que te acompañará por el resto de tu vida.❤ Ojo piojo!

@@isam7928 Hola! Muchas gracias por su comentario. Le mando un abrazo!

Yes, I think it's overall very bad for people's mental health. You get a false perception of what is normal and it sets you off to dissapointment.