Why I Had An Arranged Marriage (20 y/o) | Chit-Chat Ep. 4 

Salam all, what else would you like to know about arranged marriage? 😆

Finally, found a "muslimah" that can spread the value of Islam without exception, and not "hurting" any other parties. Your words are beautiful. New subscribers here!!

All the things that were right about this; 1. She already had experience with being independent 2. She was financially independent ( this I think is the most important one, cuz no matter how religious a person is there is no guarantees about a person, and being able to support oneself is so important) 3. Her family respected her opinion 4. They took into consideration their life goals in the future This is not for everyone. I wouldn't want to be in a marriage that is essentially loveless. My parents marriage was like that, it had respect and responsibility but not essentially feelings. They are together for the social need for someone to take care of each other. But she mentioned so many right reasons for her decisions and showed so much maturity for her age.

This video randomly hit my homepage and the title got me hooked. But then it serves as another whole experienced that opens another new perspective in me. I don't know who you are or even curious about your background, but you are indeed a winner in life. You have the value that you hold by heart and genuinely live by it. And that is something that I have been wishing for a long time. Living by purpose, walking with goal and dream. Thank you for the knowledge!

Aku mengalami beberapa keraguan akhir2 ini tentang pernikahan, mengapa orang menikah, apakah kita harus saling mencintai, apakah harus selalu romantis, disisi lain aku tahu selama ini cinta bukan hal yg tetap, hubungan romantis yang aku bayangkan sejak kecil, ternyata pasti ada naik turunnya -life isn't like disney princess, right?- banyak keraguan yg menghampiri akhir2 ini, tentang bagaimana jika laki2 itu tida mencintaiku sepenuhnya, bagaimana jika ia tidak memperlakukanku dg baik, bukankah lebih baik aku bahagia tanpa menikah dll banyak sekali pertanyaa, lalu malam ini, alasan terakhir yang diungkapkan zhaf yg aku memahaminya seperti "Aku mencintaimu karena Allah" menjadi satu kunci utama yg bisa menjawab keraguanku, memberiku pandangan bahwa jika laki2 atau pasanganku nnt menikahiku krn Allah aku akan tenang dan dengan kepercayaan yg yakin seyakinnya, krn apabila dia mencintai Tuhannya dg sangat baik, dengan begitu dia akan merawat makhluknya (aku ) dg sangat baik pula, mengusahakan usaha terbaiknya, berusaha untuk tidak menyakiti dll, terimakasi zhaf, your video always inspire me 🥰🙏😊

Suka cara pola pikirnya. Suka bagaimana cara keluarga memperlakukan zha dari sejak dini sampai membentuk pola pikir seperti ini. 😍

This process sounds very respectful, thought out, and efficient. You must have a really good relationship with your parents as well.

I am an atheist. But I have found a new understanding and liking for arranged marriage. I think outsourcing the „mate-finding“ process to people who know you best is smart. And something that happens in good secular relationships, too (friends setting you up, meeting through family, work and friends). The toxic dating culture nowadays simulates freedom…but it actually is the opposite. I found dating without committment absolutely horrible. And it is the reason I am still single at almost 30. Freedom comes in grayscales.

MasyaAllah kak akhirnya nemu figur muslimah yang mempraktekkan islam secara keseluruhan tanpa meninggalkan urusan duniawi juga. Akhirat dapet, dunia jg dapet Seneng bangett😍😭 Sehat-sehat ya kak zhaf, masih muda pula umur ku beda 2 tahun lebih muda tp bisa se dewasa itu. Penasaran cara ortu mendidik kak zhaf, semoga lain waktu bisa dishare di yt hehe

Very similar story Zhaf! I've gone through that rapid adulting process too at high school and I think that is key. Although different circumstances brought me to an arranged married after university and at the point where my parents couldn't find me one so I asked my teacher. It was better because they could find someone from a bigger circle and network. On the first day, I and my husband were just like best friends, but soon as we reveal each other's languages of love, a romantic relationship was also built between us.😊

Ya Allah selalu terpesonaa... umur masi belia (lebih muda dri aku), tapi jauuuuuhhh lebihh cerdas dan dewasa 😭😭😭 Seriuuuuss deh kepoooo gimana ortu zhafi ngedidik anak mereka dri kecil, sampe bisa cerdas emosional dan spiritual gini, bahkan bisa siap nikah di usia 18-19 tahun. Pdhal aku yg 24 takut mulu mekirin nikah 😅 plisss bikin konten tntg parenting ortu zhafi 😊

This is such an eye opening zhaa, karena banyak orang (including me) yang merasa "takut" dengan yang namanya arranged marriege. Thank youu zha for sharing with us

Assamulaikum Zhafira, I am 34 years old and unmarried yet, at this stage, getting to marry seems a huge decision for myself to settle down. Salute to you that you want to marry at young age. I pray to Allah that semoga Allah akan sentiasa memberikan keberkataan kepada your marriage.

Having a loving family is a huge privilege, mashaAllah. You are lucky. May everything good come to you.

MaasyaAllah, I really really like how u thinking about married, bukanlah prioritas untuk mendapatkan cintanya lebih dulu. Selama ia mencintai Tuhan, pasti dia tahu bagaimana harus berlaku kepada makhluk Tuhan, utamanya yg sudah berstatus menjadi istri/suami. N dgn cara begitu, kitapun akan berjalan beriringan menuju yang Maha Kekal :"

Makasih kak udah membuka pikiran aku ttng perjodohan/ta'aruf. Ternyata melakukan semuanya sesuai yang disyariatkan agama itu indah jika dilakukan dengan cara yang benar. Suka banget sama cara kakak menyampaikannya

You are far more mature than your age, very inspiring and informative since the word "arranged" seems to scared people off. Enjoying your other vlogs as well!! Keep making more videos!!!

Watching this video because I love listening to Zha speaking in English🥰 But for me as someone who's not fond of marriage right now, at least it added some positive things into my bucket of negativity on marriage. So thank you for the insights Zha

I love your content. I am glad you decided to start filming RU-vid. I just relieved still there is a Muslim that practice the religion so hard. Love that. You are religious and smart in the same time. We need you, zha. Truly as an influencer and Muslim figure. You deserve it.

Subhan’Allah Zha, I love the last thing about loving allah is more important than loving your spouse loving you, whilst we all know this, you genuinely put it into practice with an arranged marriage. I am 23 right now & thinking about marriage whilst at university. May Allah swt make it easy for us all & bless your marriage ♥️

As long as you can differentiate forced marriage and arranged marriage, then it should be fine

Wow, what you said about marrying someone who loves God more than anyone/thing else was also the reason I married my husband. We are Christians. You've explained the logic behind it so well. :)

I'm so impressed! You might be younger than me but your way of thinking is very mature and wise. I got a lot of lessons from listening to your story and the process of arrange marriage. Thank you for sharing this beautiful story with us :))

We're the same age Zha, but your thinking about marriage is very mature. at this time I was confused between education or choosing a serious relationship after graduation, but by looking at your videos why not choose both wkwkw 🤣 Hopefully someday I will get a partner who is the same frequency and equally supports each other's dreams. :)) Thanks Zha

kak boleh ga kapan2 chit chat nya tentang childfree yg lg byk dibicarain orang2 menurut pandangan kakak. Thank you, semangat kak i always wait for ur new video

This is a lit explanation of taaruf process. Thank you for sharing this Kak Zha!

I really like the way She thinks. Keep going make an English version content kak zhaf, sometimes it really helps us to practice more our listening skills😄. Great job, and hope every good thing and something you wish will come to you very soon! 💛💛

Actually, that proccess called by Taaruf! What a lovely your story Zhaff. Thanks for sharing this process so clearly and gently. Hopely, everyone will never misunderstood about taaruf and knows that marriage is about planning! Sehatt teruss Zhaff dan keluarga kecilmuu :)))))

May Allah keep you safe and surround you with those who will constantly remind you to Allah. Happy 1st anniversary, Zhafira & Syafiq. Barakallahufikum. I wish you will always happy to be together forever (^o^

Happy 1st Anniversary ka Zhafira dan ka Syafiq, Berkah Allah masyaaAllah..

Your final point is beautiful and actually an eye-opening 💕 Thank you

Good for you, the key point here this process is no force at all and you want it. Just do whatever we believe in and be happy

Ma sha Allah. So beautifully explained. I love the way you said how you chose someone who has love for Allah first

You’re so amazing kak👍👍 Thank you kak... I learnt something again from you and this is really open my mind about arranged marriege... Btw, I like the way you speak english kak🤗🤗 banyakin lagi yaa kak kontek berbahasa inggris❤️❤️✨🤗

Assalamualaikum Muslim Brothers and Sisters, I leave Christianity and alhamdulillah after found Islam i am now a Muslim❤️ Pray for me❤️❤️

Punya orang tua yg sholih dan sholihah adalah privilege yg luar biasa

You're so young but so mature 🥺, I admire that ❤️, btw oot u literally look like a hijabi ver. Of Niki zefanya, even the way you speak, sounds similar 😳

Senang mendengar cerita dr kakak, selain bs mendpat ilmu ttg perjodohan, jg bs blajar listening dikit" ☺️🥰

This was actually such a beautiful video. Loved the message

Thank you for this fresh perspective. I didn’t trust human’s words sometimes. They can change. But you gave me a fresh perspective on partners!

Masya Allah, seneng banget nemu youtuber yang kuliah di luar tapi gak liberal. Semoga bisa jadi contoh buat anak-anak muda ya biar gak meninggalkan Islam walau kuliah di luar. Barakallahu fiikum. Aku langsung subscribe! 😍

Thank you for your video. I would just like to add that "forced" marriage is prohibited in Islam. Therefore, it is absolutely necessary that a woman agrees to marry a particular man. This is one of the many rights of women in Islam. Of course, in some cultures (around the world) things are done differently. Also, it is important to not confuse the role of a "wali" (a male family member who serves as a kind of marriage background checker in the interest of the young Muslimah) and that of those who seek to "arrange" a marriage.

Mashaallah ❤️ more power to you Zhaff, your way of thinking is very inspirational. For me the relationship between God and oneself is also a priority. I haven’t thought about arranged marriages yet, but this was definitely a very insightful opinion. Thank you. ❤

Can definitely relate with you 😉..I also studied overseas in NZ and right after I finished my degree, had an arranged marriage. Alhamdulillah, this year would be our 10th anniversary. I couldnt agree more on your opinion of romantic love. Keep up your great work, all yr sharings are very inspiring and fun at the same time😘😘

"What worked out for me, may not worked out for you." Kadang orang pikir mau punya hubungan kaya si ini, atau si itu, tapi nggak mikir kalo semua orang punya jalannya sendiri-sendiri buat menemukan "the one"

Thank you for sharing your experience! You are genuine & it makes me feel comfortable to know that everything is going to be okay. Have a great day! 🥹❤️

I came across your youtube channel and unintentionally found this video. At first, I was only hooked up by the title, but surprisingly, I took a great quote from the video (I've repeated your video several times just to record your words). I've been married for 4 years and I got reminded of my purpose of getting married by you, "At that point of time, I wanna go through a self-development process which I thought would be easier to do if I have a potential supportive partner with me who can serve as a reflection, as a reminder for me to constantly do better so that I could strive and try to work on myself to improve beyond my point of who I am at that point." Nice words!

masyaallah..amazing opinion, kak zha. kapan" upload tntng cara parenting orngtua ka zha dong yang akhirnya bisa membentuk karaktermu ini

"You can take as much time as you want, but remember that I might won't be around to marry when you're ready."

MaaSyaaAllah, ga nyangka ternyata Kak syafiq sama Kak Zhafira dijodohinn, ini juga melalui proses ta'aruf yg sesuai ya Kak? Dan bener banget sih, segala sesuatu (apapun itu) harus kita niatkan untuk Allah dulu, kalau dari awal niatnya bukan karena Allah (misal; karena manusia, dsb), jadinya malah ga tahan lama;) Semoga segala urusan rumah tangga Kak Syafiq dan Kak Zhafira selalu dilancarkan dan dipermudahkan oleh-Nya, Aamiin Allahumma Aamiin ❤️ Jangan lupa untuk selalu prioritaskan Allah ya Kak dalam urusan apapun

Maa syaa Allah. Barakallahu fiikum. Amazed with your upbringing. Please please share your parents' parenting 💖

perjodohan yang tidak memaksakan kehendak orangtua yang hanya berdasarkan materi adalah kebijakan terbaik dari segelintir orangtua yang ada di muka bumi. Selamat ya zafira, kamu memiliki orangtua yang dapat menghargai pendapatmu. Semoga pernikahanmu sampai di surganya Allah kelak nanti.

How can she be such a mature women in that young age im already 22 and didn't know what's gonna happen to my future lol

Baarokallohu fiikuma Zha dan Syafiq. Semoga Allah Azza wa Jalla senantiasa menaungi bahtera rumah tangga kalian dengan keberkahan, rahmat dan inayahNya. Amiiin Keep insipiring Zha

As Salamu Alaikum. I just found this video and am simply impressed with your persona - you’re wise beyond your years and so articulate. I am following you now because I want to learn more from you. Also, I am genuinely interested in knowing how you were raised as a child by your parents. Masha’Allah, they have succeeded in their accomplishments. May Allah bless you and your family, Ameen.

Mashaallah! I don't really know you but I feel so proud as another muslimih for the point you say about "love Allah and believe and fear of him -subhanahu wa ta'ala-" and this really is a very important point! If someone loves Allah and fears of him at the same time truly, you will know that he won't do anything that will hurt you or be disrespectful to you. He will know he should take care of you and do the things that will make you happy and feel safe. There may be no love at the beginning, but you will never hate someone who does respect you and try what he can to make you happy. The "Love" that movie and media show for me is more like "attraction" than true love. I really wish happiness for you and your husband, and to have a happy and peaceful family! Sorry for my bad English.

Masya Allah, kata2 nya memukau, membuka fikiran ku soal pernikahan, Thank u So Much Zha, sedih bgt baru nemu channel kamu gini hari :')

I do enjoy listening to you. Your english is clear and fluent. A great content. :)

Wahh Zhaf... gue ikutin kisah nikahan kemarin ini heheheh,, kita samaan2 tapi gue nikah umur 23 dan baru nikah Mei kemarin ini hehehe, ta'aruf sejak awal Januari dan lamaran Februari but we got the day itu Mei maklum setelah rapat keluarga and my husband is my senior hahaha alhamdulillah dikasih org yg pernah gue kenal walau formalitas senior Junior aja ga pernah chat atau ngobrol intens dulunya

Suka sama penyampaian dan konten zhafira. Trmksh sdh bikin video ini :)

thank you kak zhaf udh bikin video ini 🙏🏻

you're so amazing kak Zhaf! 🥺

Makasih Zha, video ini nolong aku banget yang masih ragu tentang apa itu perjodohan, semangat terus menginspirasi dan memberikan info yang bermanfaat, semoga selalu dalam lindungan Allah ya Zha

MashaAllah, I love your mindset 🥺 May Allah keep you safe and happy🌺.

selalu suka sama konten-konten ka zhaf, selalu mendidik dan punya perspektif yang berbeda. ideal muslimah, rule model aku pokoknya kaka

thank you so much ka zhafira, you are my motivator . always inspiring kak. untill jannah with kak syafiq Insya Allah

I so love how you explained the context of Arranged Marriage in Islam 😊🤍 It is finding the right companion through the guide of parents. AND “It’s an arranged marriage NOT a force marriage” 😅 We’ve a shared experience. Alhamdulillah I’m happily married for two years now. My husband and I aren’t even friends in any social media platform, he didn’t courted me, and we just got to know each other after the wedding. It is one of the best feelings; to catch a romantic feeling with your husband. Haha Sending hugs and salaam from the Philippines. 🤍😘

MaashaAllah TabaarakAllah. Such wise words and a great reminder as to what the purpose of marriage is in Islam which is to gain closeness to God. Living in a Western world we grow up to believe that marriage is suppose to being endless love and adoration but then when we become so disappointed when the other party cannot fulfill our need for endless love but we forget that this can only be fulfilled by God and that our spouse is only but human. Lived this video :)

MasyaAllah suka banget sama pola pikirnya kak Zhaf. Ya Allah semoga nular pinternya ke aku 😇

I couldn't agree more with the statement: “This type of love where you put God first before anything else -to me,- is a lot more sacred than the type of love where it is romantic but you leave God completely out of the picture.”

Wahh mind opening bgt.. stigma "arranged marriage" yg berkembang cenderung ke "forced marriage" dmn pihak pr yg dirugikan krn harus manut.. Tapi insight dr "arranged marriage" yg disajikan ideal banget si.. ky, seharusnya begini nih arranged marriage. Krn esensi pernikahan it sakral bgt, dan ga main2

I love how realistic you are when talking abt this cs its truly can be different for each person and your goal is solely to just show the process and the reason why you choose this decision, with logical background why you think you're also suitable with this at a very young age.

Intinya sistem ta'aruf kaaa. MasyaAllah baarakallaahu fiik. May Allah always bless you and your life partner. 🌸

Love this! May Allah put blessings in your marriage

Im a year older than u but I learn A LOT from u Zha! 🤍

arranged marriage is not without feelings, there is attraction, but not full-fledged "love" and it allows you to be more practical about the partner you're choosing, it works for people who are more timid, and not as daring, and everyone has different ideas about life so it still works for people today

MasyaAllah sangat menginspirasi. Thank you ka Zhaf❤️

I wish all Muslim/ah have mind set about marriage like Zhafira. Barrakallah

Merasa ter edukasi ttg kesiapan menikah , menarik bgt plus pake english language 👏

I rearly hit the like button before the end of any video.... But in this case... I smashed the like button way early hhhh... I think you are wise far beyond your age mash Allah. May Allah protect you and your loved ones... Greetings from Morocco 😍😍

kenapa aku baru nemu channel ini plsss, i luv your content kakk keep doing great things and spreading your positive vibes kak!

Ka zhafira cerdas bgt semoga nular cerdas dan public speakingnya Aamiin

9:28 really hit me. Thank you for open my eyes about relationship, love and god.

YOU ARE SO INSPIRED. BARAKALLAH ZHAF :)

MashaAllah, what a great reasons! 😍

To me this sounds more like matchmaking than arranged marriage, I think there’s a fine line between the two

Love god first❤️❤️❤️ thank you so much kak zhaf!!!❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️❤️

I pray for you and Kak Syafiq till Jannah 🤲😊

Ma syaa Allah, selalu sukaa sama setiap kontennya mbaa, jazaakillahu khoyron mbaa selalu menginspirasi dengan konten-konten yang membuka pikiran aku banget >

So happy abt u i really love ur aksen english🥺

They have arranged marriage in wester victorian era back in the day too. Great video kak 👏

Ya allah menginspirasi banget, walaupun baru pertama kali mampir🥺🥺❤❤❤

Loving the video so much! Thanks udah berbagi pengalaman. Setuju banget kalo orang yang melibatkan segala sesuatu dengan Tuhan-Nya akan lebih mempertimbangkan segala perbuatannya dan ya, aku juga dijodohkan. Menurut aku perjodohan itu adalah cara yang paling tepat (tanpa ada drama jika tidak cocok) dan cinta dimulai ketika mengenal sang pasangan setelah memutuskan menikah. Thanks for sharing, wish you having a happy life kak zha!❤️

I really Adore you Mbak Zhafiraa🥺 thank you for sharing with us, i'll thingking about it

I am 25 and my parents have been looking for a prospect for me but still no luck Insha Allah when Allah wills everyone will find their spouse at the right time untill than keep making dua .Arrange marriages are beautiful

Satu hal banget yg ditangkap disini. Komunikasi dgn yg dijodohkan yaitu zhafiraanya sendiri. Suka bgt bagian dimana bahwa orgtuanya zhafira tetap memprioritaskan pendapatnyaa. Berharap semua orgtua diluar sana yg melakukan perjodohan akan melakukan hal yang sama. Bukan hanya dijodohkan krna ingin melepaskan beban. Inilah pentingnya komunukasi bersama dgn orgtua kitaa. Menyatakan pendapat dn mendengarkan pendapat. Thankyou untuk membukakan mataku mengenai perjodohan ini😇🥰

Hi, thank you for sharing it! It's so interesting and safe concept for both partners and their families. In my country mostly it's happens absolutely different.

this mindset amazes me 🥺

I'm more amazed you know you are sure and ready at 20yo. I dont even felt ready at 28 and i am definitely very independent and matured. I used to be alone most of the time i'm growing up which the idea of serving and living with someone just.. scared me. With a lot of abuses cases going on, i wish youngsters just be cautious with marriage and at least have something in your hand that your husband cannot take from you. as example, a job.. a degree and make sure explore a lot of things before you get married. we dont know if we gonna met the right one or the wrong one. be cautious.

I respect and in love with how u speak about arranged marriage.. tq so much.. here, a new subscriber here☺️