Why I keep changing my mind about how to educate my kids... 

Just so you are aware, the Scottish schooling system is completely different to the English system so calling it the British schooling system is incorrect. We do not have reception year in Scotland and are in primary school for 7 years and then we move to high school where we stay until we are 18. We don’t do GCSEs or A levels but instead we do National 5s, Highers and Advanced Highers

When I was looking at schools for my son, i went for the best on paper academically. I pulled him out after three days; you do not force a 4 year old to wait until break times to have a wee and limit their fluids at dinner time to avoid afternoon accidents because they can’t use the toilet during classtime. This was after making a beeline for the teacher initially and then the head. On the third (and his last) day i walked away dejected after dropping him off and bumped into a mum from the nursery he’d been at from 5mths until school. She told me about the school she’d chosen for her daughter (his friend), a few minutes walk away from the one he was in. I popped in to that school on the off chance, all the teachers couldn’t do enough to show me around and how the children were learning through play, with no structure (in the infant section), the kids were so happy and interactive with their peers and their teachers - this was their third day too - night and day!! The head then came and met me, he’d asked if any teacher would mind staying late to show my son around after he finished school - they all volunteered! I counted down the hours til the bell and told my son we were going to see a different school - he absolutely loved it and the headmaster (who still to this day knows all of his pupils and former pupils by name and knows which child belongs to which parent) said he would push through the paperwork (was meant to take 3 weeks) and would meet me at reception on Monday at 8:45am if he wanted to join their school. We did, and true to his word, he was personally stood waiting, with two school jumpers for us! The rest is history, he’s now just finished his first year of uni and has has passed with 89%! The boy whos only homework was a reading book once a week or to bring basic ingredients in for cooking in his entire primary school years has just outperformed his private school friends in university. Gentle education is at very least, equal to a more academic and structured approach as there is no pressure and they enjoy learning. Also, definitely meet the headteacher, I truly believe you get a real feel for the school from the personality of the headteacher! I’m also still a governor of his old high school, and the headmistress there is just phenomenal! xx

Just to say this isn’t how it works in Scotland. We start usually when children are 5. Some go at 4 depending on when their birthday falls but they are the youngest in the year and usually turn 5 by Christmas (there is no reception year). We can also defer entry by a year, which means some children will be around 6 before they start school, and more and more people are doing that. We are guaranteed a place at the local school (we still have to register but you won’t be refused if you are in the catchment area). If you want to go to a different school than the catchment school then you submit a placing request and it is dependent on spaces available whether you get it. We don’t have 6th Form or 6th Form Colleges. College in Scotland can also include university level learning. Private schools up here are varied. Some follow the English model and qualifications, and some follow the Scottish model. “Independent schools” are private schools in Scotland. I didn’t realise there was so many differences til you went through all this tbh!

It’s so nice to hear someone really thinking about this, I don’t have kids yet and talk about it a lot, and people think I’m odd. Totally agree about the morals and wanting the system to change, but also acknowledging it’s still broken and wanting your kid/s to have the best opportunities! That’s exactly how I feel, and people judge me for even thinking about private

Poland this year banned homework at primary schools and I think that's amazing! It should be banned everywhere. Yes I love London because of it's diversity and it's ability to actually integrate people from diverse cultures together. This level of diversity and integrity is almost nowhere else in the world! Brexit in this context is such a shame, but London did not vote for it.

You also don’t know if your child will be artsy, academic, sporty, etc or a mix of these. Once he’s a little older, you can see what his interests and strengths are, and get him into a more pressure (or less pressure) school. My point is at this stage, you don’t know what he’ll need flashing forward 5 years.

Hey just to let you know; as I was also very interested in Steiner Waldrof, I've recently learned it is connected to a religion/spirituality named "antroposophy". The french government recently had to close a few due to its undisclosed link to this spiritual orientation/religious movement, and has published very compelling evidence about its cult like characteristics. I am not at all critical of child guided pedagogies, so was very surprised to learn this. Thought it was worth mentioning!

Honestly if my parents were offering to pay for my kids to go to private school, I’d take it in a heartbeat even if I don’t really believe in putting a price on a basic education. Sadly the private system isn’t going anywhere any time soon

It annoys me that homework has become so ubiquitous in primary school. My niece and nephew are year 2 and 4 and they have lots of homework to do. When I was at school we only had reading and a spellings sheet until year 6, when we started getting a few more worksheets each week to prepare us for secondary school, and we all managed. It shows how much more academic pressure there is to learn things earlier than even 20 years ago when I was at school

I went to a private primary school and based on that experience I would choose a state school for my daughter. In my experience private schools lack diversity and that is important to me. I want her to experience diversity from the start - children of different backgrounds /nationalities/ special needs etc

If you are planning on having another child would your parents be able to comfortably afford the private fees all the way through until they are both 18? Taking into account large increases in future years as well. Private school is a massive financial commitment as it is very difficult to take them out once they have started.

I hate the social aspect argument of being against home education. People say this all the time and i say "What there are other children???" To think that our children don't socialise just as much actually more is ridiculous because our children interact with all age groups not just the ones they are allowed to

You're not correct to say that secondary school is never split. Some parts of england have middle schools. And then as other people gave mentioned, scotland is different. A bit more research might have been good to make yourself aware of how things work in different places in the UK outside your personal experience. Or just acknowledge that you are speaking about your specific area, not the entire country.

I’m American, went to Montessori school for preschool and kindergarten (ages 3-5) and loved it. I hope to send my own future child to go to Montessori. I feel like other educational routes can be decided later.

The amount of homework in a state primary vs private academic ‘prep’ school isn’t even comparable

Up North, especially in more disadvantaged areas, every child starts at 3, they look so tiny in their little uniforms. I was a young Mum, mine went through school and college in the state system. I didn’t have a choice, or any support. I worked in a Primary school as a TA and went to uni and became a secondary school teacher when my daughter was 13/14. I have worked in about 7 schools and they vary a lot. I would go and visit many and look at the children’s behaviour. I didn’t have the option to do anything other than state school. I was very young with no guidance on this either. As a teacher, I think if you’re against homework, you need to find a school that is also against that, because most schools don’t really like to make exceptions for children unless it’s medical. Otherwise there are lots of unique demands and requests and it’s hard to get anyone to follow any rules. Homework in the younger years is an attempt to get families to engage with their kids, at least where I come from, they won’t be given anything too academic. I work at a secondary now where our boss doesn’t like homework, so there are options out there. I’d just recommend finding the one that fits best and sticking with how they do it, rather than finding one you like a lot of and then trying to make it work for you, as you usually sign something to say you will support the school and help support your child to follow the rules and if you don’t like a certain rule, they are likely not to support you with it.

We really liked the Waldorf school the only reason we left was the administration! I loved they DO NOT talk politics or religion in the classroom.

I would love to hear more about your own experiences with home schooling/ unschooling. How was it structured? What kinds of experiences did you do that helped you learn and what advantages/ disadvantages did it bring?

I’m an SMBC in the US, and I’m planning to apply for a placement at the local Montessori school for my 4-year old this winter. It’s charter, so funded by the local public school district, and therefore free. They choose placements via lottery. I’ve gone back and forth about whether, if he’s not selected, I’ll send him to the private church-based school (where he does preschool now) or the public school. It’s so nice that your parents are willing to help with school costs! But I’d be conflicted, too. It’s hard not to feel like I’m taking too much help from them that I maybe wouldn’t be if I had a partner (and second income). But I know my parents desperately want to help in any way they can. It’s tough!

I'm from a county in England with a 3 tier system, we do up to year 4 in lower, 4-8 in middle and 9 onwards in upper.

Lot's of great thinking happening here, but I've noticed a few times recently that you tend to speak in an authoritative way on topics specific to your personal experience as though they broadly apply to England/UK/Britain when they often don't.

In Wales, UK, children have the option to start school when they are 3 (the term after they have their third birthday). The majority of 3 year olds do start school, in my opinion, mainly due to it being free childcare for parents! Having worked in these environments, I can confidently say three year olds are too young to be attending school. Some schools do it well and create a more relaxed environment, however in many schools, there is still such a high level of expectation for children who ultimately have JUST left their toddler stage. “Sit on the carpet, cross your legs and be quiet”. You see this regimented style of teaching running up the school. Some schools are doing really well at making the early years more child led, with far more focus on outdoor learning and a child’s holistic development; but, ultimately higher up the school years, children still have to fall in line for the tick box ‘knowledge’ based learning, of sitting and regurgitating information. I don’t yet have my own children, however I will definitely be considering Montessori or Steiner schools as their curriculums are far more focused on supporting the WHOLE development of the child, not just academic abilities.

I think the diversity of public schools is such an important consideration, particularly at primary age. You could then look at swapping to private for high school if your parents are able to support it, since that tends to be smaller class sizes etc that can be quite beneficial. Nice to see someone seriously thinking about all the options though, and hopefully by the time it comes to actually applying you can be happy and confident with whichever route you have chosen!

I taught for ten years and as a result, I chose to Home Educate my child. He loves choosing his subjects and HomeEd group activities while we enjoy the flexibility of taking field trips whenever we want.

Although less now, there are middle schools (I was in one), from year 4 to year 7. So I started secondary in year 8. I went to college instead of a-levels, but I also went to a college for my degree, as it was a rural college for rural courses. It was partnered with a city university.

I don't have kids or plans for them, but I am a former teacher (EYFS and KS1) so am very interested in education! I think my views align really closely with yours. It must be so difficult to navigate, and partly because so much depends on your local schools. I've experienced some truly wonderful state schools doing amazing work - child led curriculums, structures and timetables that centre play and the individual and allow flexibility, immersive and flexible environments using strong theory based study of pedagogy from the teachers. But I've also seen horrific ones where children are treated like worksheet filling robots, talked to so disrespectfully and where fun is essentially outlawed. Also with secondaries especially, ones which are just unsafe... I wouldn't send a child to my local secondary in a million years. Fwiw, I think there's a difference between sending your child to private school because you view private as better, Vs because you prefer a specific style of education which is only available there, or there are specific problems that make the state options not good learning environments for your child. I don't think you should feel bad if you do end up choosing private for the reasons you discussed; though honestly the local school that's a bit further sounds really promising, I hope it ends up being a good fit. Not having to plan and prep meals is also a massive bonus honestly, I think people underestimate that sometimes. I think my advice as a former teacher would be 1. Definitely visit as you mentioned. You can really get a feeling a lot of the time, more than what you can see on paper. 2. As well as homework policy, ask about how children can access outside and how much of the day is specific lessons at what ages Vs more free choices. 3. Don't be afraid to say to the teacher that you like elements of Steiner, democratic, Montessori etc and ask if the school incorporates any of those principles or anything similar. Good teachers (particularly early years ones) should be able to talk about the principles they follow as a school and know enough to make links with those when they exist. 4. Most importantly remember that you are Oryn's mum so he already has that massive positive on his side! Yes, schools are important so it's right to think about them deeply. But also having you on his side to support him, advocate for him, and support his learning outside of school through everything he does will make such a huge impact. If he ends up in a non-ideal school, I'm confident he'll still flourish with your support. Oh also since you mentioned phonics I can't miss a chance to recommend the excellent Sold A Story podcast!!!

Also adding that Northern Ireland is different again to England, Wales and Scotland. We have 7 years in Primary School, called Years/Primary 1-7, we don’t have Infants or Juniors. At the end of primary school, in year 7, pupils can sit an optional exam (SEAG) if they wish to attend a Grammar school. The secondary school options are Grammar schools (using academic selection from the SEAG exam) or a non-selective Secondary School. Secondary schools offer another 7 years (Years 8-14), but you can leave after 5 years. We don’t have separate 6 form schools. Our exams are GCSEs and A-Levels.

Hi 😊 i can see in the comments lots of discussion about different education set ups throughout the UK. I notice Bryony often explains British terminology and structures, so I'm assuming her videos reach far and wide across the globe which is a wonderful achievement 😊 i live in Wales, which even though is part of britian, we have our own goverment who make their own policies on matters like education. In wales we have the 'foundation phase' within our governent schools as the statutory curriculum for 3-7yr olds. Its heavily play focused to allow children to learn through being creative and imaginative and is a more holistic approach to their development - i believe this may be what Bryony was referring too about reception age for schools in England as this only goes up to age 5 in england i believe (or so the goverment website tells me). From the comments and video, I think this highlights the inequalities within Britian based on where you live, as all our areas are run so differently and private education is extortionate, so choice on education for parents is limited based on subscription of gov schools and economical privilege of families.

More relating to the later years of education but my parents sent all 3 of us kids to different schools. My brother went to a science/tech focused private school because that was his interest. I went to a generally very academic public school (select entry if you have similar in the UK, I had to pass an exam to get offered a place, only the top % were accepted). My younger sibling went to a private school with a great music program. Neither of my parents finished high school, so they were really lead by our interests and we are all so different in our interests that one school would not be right for all of us.

I'm in Australia and my daughter is starting 3yo kindy (preschool play based learning, mostly to familiarise them with the structure of school) next year. We were discussing enrollments at playgroup the other month and one of the mums asked what HIGH SCHOOLS we were looking at for our 2yos! Like that's bananas! Our public system works on a zoning method, you are basically guaranteed a place in the school you are physically closest school and if you want to go to a school further away you need sound logic for why that school is better suited. I have 9yos and realised I do need to look into high schools anyway and realised that there are 8 high schools near me and only one of them has physical technology and home ec facilities which is awful, I want my kids to be able to hammer nails into wood without committing to a two year TAFE qualification program. I'm privileged in that there are tradies in the family who are willing to share their skills with my kids but it really shows that the government is discouraging kids from learning labour skills despite them being much needed in society.

I think it's great that you are aware of the different options and not 100% set on one. My friend is one of three siblings. They were in normal german public school and the eldest struggled so they moved all three kids to a Waldorf/Steiner school. The eldest really flourished there but after a few years it turned out the younger two wanted more structure and were more sciencey so those two moved back to a state school. It just shows the need to adapt to the children and the situations at the time.

Great summary of the education system, but we always called secondary school, 'high school' in East Anglia! Don't know if it's a regional thing?

We are in the Northumberland, North East of England and we still have the three tear system with first school,(reception to year 4) middle school(year 5 to year 8) and high school (year 9-sixth form) They are all completely separate schools as well. I really love this system.

Great video. It's fantastic that you have so many options for school. The Montessori school sounds like a great option to have. I went through the state system in a small, very white seaside town in NE England. It was fine and I did end up going to a good university. But things do change a lot when you hit secondary school. Your peer group can have a large influence on you. I suppose that goes for any school though, to a degree. Anyway, suffice to say at my school I had to be very focused to make sure I got through the other end ok. And this was at a supposedly good state school. I think, regarding academic vs more free flow education, a lot depends on the child. Some might really thrive off a more formal, academic atmosphere, others the latter. Love your videos. All the best from another ther toddler mum 😊

My 5 year old does get homework. I’d MUCH prefer no homework. But so far it’s been ok. It’s one task per week, for example ‘draw a picture of something kind you’ve done this week’, ‘measure yourself using an object from your house’ etc etc plus a home reader every week. I’m ok with it so far.

It's now free school meals for all untill secondary school here in London 👍

My children go to a Sudbury School. It is a democratic school. My oldest has been there since he was 4 and just graduated. We love it so much!

As a secondary English teacher in America who is *fingers crossed* trying to move to England for Sept 2025, this is such an important conversation!

I’m in America and I would 100% homeschool or alternative school my child if I could afford it. Private schools are typically religious and public schools are often a disaster here 😬

I was so pleased to hear everything in this video! I am struggling so much with this at present and actually leaning towards homeschool, we have 0 options in our area that aren't extortionate prices for private school or just going for a standard state school, we have even considered moving to have our little one go to a school I'd be happy with, I just know I'd be the teachers most hated parent at a state school because I'd refuse all homework (other than reading) and homeschool seems to be the only way to go (but has MASSIVE lifestyle consequences which may affect our income)

I never in my life thought choosing a school for my kids would be a consideration for me. I’m in Australia and my state in particular has really good public schools. I went to public schools the whole way through. Never even considered I wouldn’t send my kids public. And lo and behold I have ended up sending my 5 year old to a catholic school (we are not at all religious). I would LOVE to have sent her to the Steiner school here or another alternative school which I worked at briefly. But I have three kids and cannot afford to pay 10k+ a year per child. So middle ground was our local Catholic school and so far I’m surprised with how much I’m okay with it. Personally we chose against our local public school because of recent shut downs due to kids being violent with knives etc etc. This is 5-12 year olds 😮 times have changed since I went to school apparently. It’s been SUCH a headache and stressor for me trying to decide where to send my eldest I tell you! Best of luck with your decision!

I would make sure to look at the difference between Waldorf (Steiner) and Montessori! They have the similarities, but quite a lot of differences in the basic ideas!

I currently study to become a (special needs) teacher, and you just described the school of my dreams! I hope I find a place to work like that! ❤

I change my mind about education every other week. Still got another year before I get to applying for my eldest as I have autumn babies, yet it goes round in my head constantly! Glad I'm not the only one. I think if I could afford it, I'd go private. But I'm a single mum of two with no guaranteed support from their dad, so it's realistically going to be the local public all-the-way-through school (4-16 years) if we can get in! *fingers crossed*

When deciding a school for my daughter I realized that what it is more important than what I like, is what the kid will fit into best. So I would also say, wait a little bit more so that Oryn develops a personality a bit more and you have a better basis on what he might fit and enjoy more. I know my husband would have absolutely benefited from a Montessori type school, but I would not, and I know other people that went to Montessori that resent the fact that were not forced to gain skills that they were not interested in at the time. For my daughter, she is a loud social happy kid, so for example homeschooling will not be for her. We are instead planning to send her into a more play base school, which still some structure into it.

If it is any consolation, I felt exactly the same about homework in primary and never forced my now 15 year old to do homework. School never pushed it and she was never in trouble for not doing it

My daughter isn't school aged, but I live in Saskatchewan, Canada. Our school system has an optional beginning, you can send your kids to preschool-Kindergarten-1st grade - grade 12. Or you can skip preschool and Kindergarten and have your child start in Grade 1. Children aren't legally required to go to school until age 6. Kindergarten kids are usually 5 years old or about to turn 5 when they start. Most schools don't have a homework policy and it is up to the teacher. Most of the time if your kid has homework it's because they didn't finish in the class time. I never had much for homework growing up. It's not common for elementary kids to get much homework. Personally I would never send my child to a private school, I am way to socialist for that. I will be sending her to public school, but I would home school if need be. I have 2 Bachelors degrees and I teach music lessons, so if I had to I would feel comfortable home schooling.

Would it be hard to get him into the Steiner school?

Here in nz we do kindergarten 3 to 4 then primary year 1 to 6 5years to 11then intermediate year 7 to 8 age 11 to 13 then collage or high year 9 to 13 13 or 14 to 18 then university don't have to start until 6 but they always start at 5

I have two children in primary school. They get given homework but it is up to you if you want to do it or not. It’s a very nurturing school but all state schools are struggling with increasing numbers of children with a wide range of additional needs. If your parents are offering to pay for a private school of your choosing, I’d do it!

Also state schools require hours of homework you know

Would it be safest to get him into a state school and then if it isn't working out, to go private? Just wondering if private is more likely to take someone on mid-term compared to an over subscribed state school.

Go and look around the schools and trust your gut, also, don't be afraid to pull him out of a certain school if it is making him unhappy at any time. You never want his thirst for knowledge to be squashed and that can happen in certain schools. I did lots of different schooling with my daughter, from private, mainstream and eventually special school as my daughter is disabled. I eventually learnt to trust my gut and it has never let me down.

There's some misinformation here. There are different systems in the different nations and in different countries. Some schools are Yr7-13, some have middle schools. Lots of private schools only start in Year 9. In any case, research and visit your local schools.

I don't have children but I know I would have a similar mindset to you if I did. I'm interested in creativity in education and the arts, so that's something that I would be keenly looking at.

You mentioned changing schopls multiple times yourself. In theory you can do the same for Oryn yes? Whats the harm in putting him in state school so start and then deciding 'yeah no I dont like this or he dosent like this' and then changing to the private route after? Edit: to say this is like a geniune question not me attempting to like push your descesion or undermine your worry about it. I'm personaly not a parent yet, nor do I have experince with the UK school system. Where I live in the US the parent can do that, literally pull a kid from main stream educarion (state schools) and put them in alternative education at any time. Jusy wondeding if thats a choice you really get or not

In South Africa we don't have a 'middle school' or in between school.. Only primary school and high school... Grade R, 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7 in primary school and grade 8, 9, 10, 11 and 12 in high school 🤷🏻‍♀️ Before primary school there's obviously daycare and nursery.. But actual schools, we only have 2 types.. You have to turn 6 in grade R.. And 7 in grade 1..not sure if your child was born before June, but they might accept them earlier. Our school years are Jan-Dec. Here your only real choice is public school unfortunately... I don't even know if the town where we live has a private school, but it's very expensive. I know in the US sometimes you don't pay for public school I think... Here you pay every year.. And grade R is more expensive as they get no funds from the government for grade R. But I think grade R might be compulsory now. We get no free school in South Africa.... I'm actually glad we don't have many options... They basically can only go to public school (around here at least), you just have to decide which one... And we also have to pack meals.. There aren't cafeterias, so they either take food or buy food... At nursery my son's food is included, I love that! But from primary school onwards, it's not included.

I would never subject my children to a staye school ever again. They are rife with bullying and the teachers say they are taught in how to teach children with different needs but this is stretching the truth to say the least. Then there is the gact that they send the child in with a water bottle that is supposed to be sat with them to drink freely BUT they collect them up and take them away when lessons start. Also factor in the fact that they are nor allowed to go to tje toilet during lessons and you have yourself some very unhappy children. They wonder why record numbers of parents ate choosing to home educate year on year. I,d just like to point outthat very few home educating parents "Unschool" and it is infact illegal. I myself structure our learning and my thirteen year old just sat his first lot of GCSE's. He has very high aspirations and will definitely achieve them as i need a dictionary just to converse with him 😂

"Secondary is never split" 😂 If you're going to create a video on the education system, please get your facts correct. Many high schools are split, in the area I live in you do year's 7-9 at one school and then go to another to do your GCSE'S. I may have misheard you but did you say "we don't call secondary school high school". Yes we do, many people do, in fact 'high school' was part of the name of the school I attended🤣. As someone else has said you tend talk about topics based on your own personal experience as though they apply to everyone in the country and in reality they really dont. You come across very privileged.

I don't have kids yet, but I'm already having the same dilemma! I feel I was very privileged to go to the schools I went to, all state schools, but I worry that the education system has changed so much even just in the decade since I've left. My primary school was a high-performing, non-uniform, very easygoing state school, but I lived in a very affluent village - which I'm sure influenced the school policies - and a village like that is totally unaffordable in my future. I was lucky to be in a feeder secondary school for the best state sixth form in the country (at the time) and it was full of private school children that used it to get into universities via a 'state school' after 14 years in very elite private schools - because in universities high performing state school students are selected for over high performing private school students. Ultimately, those that want an elite education will always find a way to rule the system - it needs a complete overhaul! I am also most aligned to Steiner education, but after being state educated and left-wing I really recognise the immorality of private education. Plus, I agree the cultural and socioeconomic diversity of state schools is so important for children to understand and engage with in society. It's still a tough decision for me, but it's nice to hear of others having the same thoughts! Perhaps there would be a lot of parents at a Steiner school that equally oppose the concept of private education.

Lovely video you gave me a lot to think about as a follow single mum

I'm from America. What's smart clothing

Go with the stiner school for sure. Ps we have very similar parenting beliefs

i am asking this questions for personal reasons, i dont have an kid but i went to dulwich college in shanghai. i want to know ur opinion on what you think of that school. i lpve the school and had great memory. i went in the founding year so i don know how academic the year was because i did the test but that was for them to gain where i was. i was in year four and was meant o be in year five but i was in year three so skipping an year wasnt an an optino for me because i had learning issues., p.s i am fansitiated by this and went to an private girl school here and it was defentetlu not academic.

So the research is telling us that the state school system is based on the 19th century and is broken; it was designed to produce factory workers and that’s where those systems e.g. going to the bathroom etc come from. You’re therefore right to consider the Montessori etc style schools. You’d need to consider very carefully next steps; where does he go in Y7, for example, and is he behind on the “national curriculum”? How is this going to affect him? It’s lovely having life skills etc but if you’re shoved in the bottom set because you can’t do algebra, you’re going to feel stupid, and the 11 year old brain isn’t typically developed enough to develop those skills of justifying your own type of intelligence. re. Homework - again research tells us it’s academically ineffective but the education system is acting on this with “interleaved retrieval” so it keeps things ticking when we don’t have time to teach it in class. It also promotes the valuable life skill of time management and working from home - your mum’s policy of time at home was a good one. Going to war with your school re homework is likely to exhaust you and not really get you anywhere. Your kid is special to you, but one of 30 to the teacher, so it’s likely that you’ll (and worst case scenario, he’ll) be seen as considering yourself “above” homework and what the other kids do. It’s not likely to be a fruitful conversation. There is also something to be said for teaching your child that sometimes you have to do things you don’t want to!! Hope this helps!!

Did you go to Tring?

you sound very privileged you're lucky you didn't go to school in the states 😂

Couldn't you home school for a bit till year three

Personally I love private school. I love the small classes and the extra attention my child gets in school. I started with my first in mainstream and actually there was lots of problems with the school. The teachers are overworked and the class sizes are bigger. The great thing about private school is you can choose a school to suite your family. I feel my children are very lucky however, we work hard and have studied all our lives, we have also saved and got our first house at 20(I had a job at 16). I think there is no right answer for everyone and that’s why there is choice. Also the ingredients in the school meals are shocking… I don’t think it’s healthy in anyway, but I guess that depends on your view. Even inches that’s say it is good, it’s cheap alternatives processed packed stuff. I think have to go with your heart and head.

I wonder if being that you have a son, and males quite often excel in the maths and sciences, if you could just watch his interests as he plays. Not that he’ll do equations by the time he’s 3 … lol, but you may see if his mind is more inclined to the analytical type toys etc. This could possibly influence your choice as to where to place him when he’s a bit older. Do you know anything about the father’s IQ, or work, or where he excels mentally, interests? It may be that Orin may like mental challenges. I hear you mentioning your preferences based on your experiences, but perhaps Orin’s biological father’s genes may begin to show up and need fulfilment as well. - ( Ive had 4 sons myself and they do lean towards the father’s interests) (Interestingly enough Chinese children are watched closely as to their natural strengths, and placed at a young age (2-3) in areas they will excel in. Food for thought.) Thank you for sharing your life’s journey with us. ☺️

Are you saying sixth form? Since I'm ignorant on this I'm not sure if I'm understanding you correctly. Are 6th form and college used interchangeably? Do kids live at college? Do kids have to go to 6th form or college? If not, they're done by age 15 or 16 basically? Can they go straight to University from year 11 or do they have to do the other first? Edit: why is it called 6th form or whatever it is that you're saying?