Why I Only Have 2 Friends 

What is a friend-friend to you?

“I used to think I was introverted because I liked being alone, but it turns out I just like my peace, I’m very extroverted around people who bring me peace.” -Jhené Aiko

“Don’t drink poison just because you’re thirsty.” Don’t surround yourself with fake, toxic people just because you feel lonely. Fall in love with your solitude.

“I used to think that the worst thing in life was to end up alone. It's not. The worst thing in life is to end up with people who make you feel alone.” -robin williams

"I live in that solitude which is painful in youth, but delicious in the years of maturity." - Einstein

"Just gently and politely kick those people out of your life" ~Lana Blakely

"Not everyone is worth sharing your life with".

"A friend to all is a friend to none." That quote rings true in so many ways.

It's better to be alone, than to be surrounded by the wrong people

When I'm socializing, I'll try best not to turn on my "fake mode". It might sound crazy, but I always want to develop deep connections with everyone I meets. I think some people got scared away when I'm being this honest because I might say stuff that they're not ready to hear from a stranger. But I'm learning not to care about those people who got scared away. I will cherish those who stay. This takes a LOOOOT of practices. There was a time that I tried to fake-mode everyone. It worked, in terms of being a nice guy and not hurting anyone. But it ended up tearing me apart because I don't even recognize myself anymore. I figured that being honest with people is soooo important because it's the only way to show them who you really are. The difficult part of being honest with strangers is that, you need to know how to protect yourself or even back out when you sense something is not right. It's a pretty sophisticated skill, which is somehow fun to master.

a friend is someone who defends you in your absence...and true friends are those who accept your good and bad sides

I’m slowly learning how to be my own best friend.

"Be careful who you call your friends. I’d rather have four quarters than one hundred pennies." - Al Capone

It's better to have 1 real friend instead of 100's of fake ones.

Making friends and socializing as an introvert in my Early twenties is so hard and I find it exhausting 🤦🏻‍♀️

Lots of friends, lots of problems. The older you get, the fewer friends you can trust.

Getting rid of fake people was probably one of the most important things I did over the past year

we're convinced we need lots of friends because we haven't learned to enjoy our own company.

The older I get the more I realize I don’t have many “close friends” because I place high value on what it means to be a true friend. I can be “friendly” with many people, but there are few people who I feel my soul connects to and understands. Thank you for this conversation 🙏🏽

I think the key word you used.... "safe" really sums up what we should be looking for to feel around the people we call friends.

When I was little I thought "oh no, I don´t know a lot of people, my wedding wil be so boring" skksks Now, I have 2 amazing friends and other people that makes me laugh and distract. Close relationships give life a sense.

It's refreshing to see someone speak so confidently about being happy with a small circle of friends.

I like socialising and interacting with people, but developing a really close friendship with someone just feels like too much for me.

It’s not about having a lot of friends or having little to no friends, it’s about what you like and what makes you truly happy. If you’re happy having lots of friends even though you’re not that close to them, then I don’t think there is anything wrong with that. That also goes with having less friends but with whom you’re actually close with. There is nothing wrong with that too if it makes you happy.

I relate, the lockdown however made me feel lonely despite being a huge introvert and I started seeking out more social interactions

"I don't have colleagues.... I'm a youtuber" LOL

"Anything that protects your peace without harming anyone else is encouraged". - Lana Blakely im in love with your eloquence

I think jealousy is very common and is the underlying reason for people not being supportive or negative when you share aspirations. For that reason I'm very careful about who share things with.

"Anything that protects your peace without harming anyone else is encouraged".

here's something i learned about advices that i want to share, do not tell them what to do. do not direct them and decide for them. if they follow ur words and they end up in a bad situation, you may be blamed. instead, give them choices. tell them “if you do this or that, what do you think would happen? how would you feel?” show them that they have a choice and it's theirs to make. give ur thoughts if they ask, but do not control them and their choices.

"Why I only Have 2 Friends" ahhh spoken like a true INFJ

Lana is literally my Therapist tbh

It is lonely knowing that your “friends” don’t wish the best for you.

You don't need many friends, you need the right friend that will motivate and support you. I'm lucky because my best friend is my wife. Peace

i’m in med school and honestly it feels very cliquey, we have a lot of social events that involve partying & drinking alcohol and the more ppl you knew, then you would be on our magazines and photo albums, etc. as an introvert who loves being alone i’ve never felt so out of place 😂 but i have a few friends i can count on and thats enough ❤️

During high school, I’m so obsessed with knowing people and being friends with them. I always thought that having so many friends or people around you would help you feel loved and happy. But then I got tired, depressed, and realized that it is pointless and only brings self-destruction along the process. It makes you question your worth and everything about yourself. During that time, I didn’t even realize that I’m losing the identity of my own as I try to adapt and like others’ interests (just to you know, ‘strengthen’ the ‘friendship’). But as time passes, I realize that those whom I call ‘friends’ are not even fitting for the word ‘friend’. And that’s how I began to ‘detoxify’ my circle and relationships with people. Now, I’m happy that I have a small and intimate circle of friends. I’ve never been so satisfied with the number of real friends that can be counted with my 10 fingers. Raw and real friends are hard to find but the most precious and luxurious ones to have. I’m blessed that I have real friends in my life and I hope you find yours too! Thank you Lana for this lovely video ❤️ I learned a ton!

“Friends: 1-3 is sufficient.” Ron Swanson

I had a lot of “friends” in my 20s but once my friends started getting married and having kids that changed. Being single and childless in my mid 30s has truly shown me what real friendship is. I have 1 person that I truly consider a friend and we aren’t even super close. But I know when I need someone or just want company, she’s there for me and I do the same for her.

People who judge others for having little friends have never had someone that they can trust and open up to completely through thick and thin.

I've always found it very weird to be judged for having few friends. My parents were worried for me, and my dad made fun of me for having only one friend in high school. Didn't help that my brother had like 10 friends either lol. But I think it's because I don't define "friends" as easily as some others do. Some people have a chat with a stranger, then exchange numbers, and think they're friends already. But I'm the type to not consider you a friend until I feel like I know a lot about you. And some people's "friends" are actually their way of networking and having more people to help them out. The only downside to having few friends IMO is that certain activities (sports, board/video games, hosting a party, etc.) without a large amount of people wouldn''t be as much fun.

It’s been 2 years since I chose to be alone instead surrounding myself with fake and toxic friends. Now I’ve surrounded myself with good people however I’m not that close to them so I do feel alone when I’m around them. But I think I feel like that way because they’ve known each other longer than they’ve known me. There’s only one friend that I truly feel like I can call her my real friend. Despite only knowing her for a short time, I feel like I’ve known her for a long time. So currently, I would say I only have one friend. And that’s more than enough for me.

I clicked because of the title. Where’s my introverts at?

I NEED a Spotify podcast of her!! Her voice is beautiful and the themes she talks about are sooooo relatable as well

Lana's "friends" when they see the title: sweating.gif

The way she talks, it's like we are in the same room and having a conversation. I got myself lost in between, whether i am talking to her or watching her videos. She just captivates me. Thank you for the amazing conversation we had... 🙂🙂 (after watching this video, do I even have friends!! 🤔

"Anything that protects your peace without harming anyone else is encouraged" You got it just right!

I don't have any friends, all of they turn out to be fake.

My best friend shared with me: Philosopher Aristotle identified three types of friendships: Ones based on utility or pleasure, and one on mutual appreciation of each other's values. The first two - 'accidental' friendships - are limited in-depth and don't last a long time. But friendships based on virtues build the strongest connections and last.

I'm 15 and I only have one close friend. I love her but there are some topics I can't talk to her about and things like that. That's pretty natural I guess. When you have more than one friend you can kind of spread out which friends you do certain things with(a friend who you share your love for photography with, another friend who you can go on spontaneous adventures with, a friend that you can talk about philosophical questions with etc). I feel like expecting it all from one person is not super realistic sometimes. But now that I only have one friend, I've learnt how to be my own best friend and do even more things alone. I've always really enjoyed alone time since I was a kid and I've always been introverted. But lately, that introversion has become even more intense. Don't get me wrong, I'm not shy or insecure at all. I'm not afraid of "exposing" myself to the world. In fact, spending so much time being able to get to know myself better, without the voices of others distracting me, has made me be much more confident, I know who I am and I love her. However, I find it hard to find kids my age who have my same interests and view life the same way I do. Sometimes I wish I had more friends, sure. But also, I got me, I don't really need anybody. I'm open to meaningful connections with people but I'm not desperate for them. At first, when my old friends and I started to get distanced I did feel desperate. And that's alright, learning to be "alone" when you're sorrounded by super sociable teenagers might be a little hard, but it's teaching me a lot. Wow this comment is so long this feels like my journal. Anyways. Thank you Lana for your meaningful content, you're so inspiring

I agree, I find people give their opinions so unsolicited rather than just adding to the conversation in a positive way. And they don’t realize when their opinions are super limiting & full of lack. That’s why I keep my goals & plans to myself, I don’t need anyone’s lens or energy raining on my parade.

Its nice to see someone who is comfortable with themselves to be okay with not having an entourage and friends just for the sake of having them. There is something to be said about solitude and peace. Thank you for sharing.

This is possibly my first ever RU-vid comment. I don't like talking much anywhere in a virtual space or even real that much. Honestly I only have two or three people I would call my friend-friend, who've stood the test of time. Hardships and moving places really reveals who is for you. And I wouldn't have had it any other way. Recently I did feel like I was missing out on connections but this video made me realize what I already have is priceless. I really loved this video from the core of my heart. Thank you so much Lana

I am so grateful that I have found my best friends last year. I'm 22 years old and at the age of 21 I didn't think I would find new friends. These are the friends that don't gossip behind your back and support you like no other. It is really the best feeling in the world!! That you can talk to someone about anything without being afraid of there responds:) hope everybody finds that kind of friends someday.

"Be civil to all; sociable to many; familiar with few; friend to one; enemy to none." - Benjamin Franklin

during this quarantine, i haven't met my friends for the longest time. so we had a chance to catch up last week. i wouldn't say they're like friend friends, but more like friends with benefit lol. cos they're many of them like 9 people. i met them and somehow i feel empty, no connection whatsoever. they were divided into two groups talking in different topics... and i just listen and observe. i feel sucks man, this is not what im looking for :/ as i reach home, i cried of how much time and energy wasted. i was wrong when i said miss them, that moment i truly believe i just like to be alone and appreciate my solitude

I have 3 friends and our bond is super strong. We can talk about anything and everything and our conversations are non-judgmental, yet at the same time we provide each other constructive, healthy, and thoughtful criticism. It is always about quality, never quality.

I resonate with this so much. I only have two really close friends as well as I only want to surround myself with people who help me grow as a person. Maintaining too many relationships is emotionally draining and overexerts me into a state of misery.

She talks with every muscle on face, very expressive..

I love how relatable your content is❤ "Stop seeking validation externally and start seeking it internally"👏👏

you have such big sister energy, i love sitting here and pretending you’re a big sister figure in my life 🥺

as someone in their first year of university, there's no doubt that so much worth is placed on how many people you know and are friends with - I'm still learning how to be more comfortable hanging out with myself and as you said maybe it comes down to age but I'm hoping as time goes on I'll be able to surround myself only with the people I really want to share my energy with

Such an interesting topic. I would say my answer of real friends is zero. Sadly I knew this way before this video. Maintaining friendships gets harder as we get older or we become less dependant on others maybe. Most people get partners and their time is consumed by them. Enjoy what you have now as you have no guarantee of tomorrow.

Quality over quaantity is the best, Lana. You can live your best life even only with two friends.

I love being alone, I feel overwhelmed when I spend too much time with my friends. A friend to me is someone I can trust and genuinely supports me with similar interests

I'm in the "no-friend" bracket right now, just focusing on my family & building my stock market portfolio 💰👍

What's great with Lana is that every word that comes out of her mouth is simply ringing with me and with my current situation in life. I've never really put words on what I think, but I feel like you can so thank you soooo much for such wonderful videos, advices and so on.

Just saw this title pop up on my notifications, and I was like "YES!!"

Lana: "Do you want more friends?" Me: I want Lana to be my friend

Anyone else feel like Lana’s videos are just so meaningful?? .. she is honestly so inspiring ❤️🦋

Ive had some good friends and some bad friends in my life. Ive realized that regardless of how good you treat your friends, they will be consistent in being either bad or good. You can't change someone by your behavior.

In seems like she is describing close friends. For inner social circle-one to 2 close friends is enough:))) having no close friend hit the hardest :(

I consider Lana as my internet big sister, I just love how she creates these videos where it's like we're just casually conversing about life.

I only have two really close friends but I still try to have a little distance between us. I don't know why but I'm always scared that someone who I really trust is going to hurt me. So at the end of the day, I'm still my own best friend.

Is hard to trust someone and meet a good friend in life when age grows older.

OMYGOD this is what I exactly needed! I really thought that Im just being weird for loving "me-time". I'm surrounded by extroverted person, happy go-luck people, but I just can't relate to them and I thought I'm just being weird. This video really helps a lot! Thank you💕

Same with me. Only few friends. But I do not like to be alone or to do thinks alone. I really feel ”delad glädje är dubbel glädje” is true for me.

'Latte with Lana' is a great name for these small videos

Thank you so much for this video i learned a lot..!!

It's hard making friends as an adult. Everyone is too busy and at the end of the day exhausted.

“What do I think?” This line hits so deeply because sometimes when meeting people and communicating with them, you end up hyper fixating on what they think that it overshadows what do you actually think and your own opinions. It can also seem to make your self identity unclear almost, when you don’t have the opportunity to make your own opinions and know your values in life

Same here! I used to hang out with a lot of people, out of fear of being alone. I always got out of my way to fit in their world, and would pretend to be someone I was not. It became a habit, and I did it with almost everyone in my life at one point. But now I'm slowly learning that it's okay to be myself and the right people will be attracted to the real me. I also loooove being alone. Thank you for this video, Lana!

I find myself coming to the conclusion that most people aren't worth more than superficial interaction. I wish it were not so, but it seems to be the case.

left everything and came straight away here

My friends left for college last year and I haven't made any irl friends ever since. I did make one friend through Bumble and we met up once in January literally a week before lockdown and then she moved back to the US. While my high school friends and I hung out often when we were in school, I never felt like we were super close or that they really understood me. The things they said time and time again confirmed that. It made me feel really lonely. I felt more alone when I was with them than when I was by myself. They didn't understand that I needed me-time so sometimes I would force myself to agree to hang out with them and end up wishing I was home as soon as I got there. Although I think it was my fault too for being so afraid to open up. But I didn't know myself back then. Leaving school gave me a lot of time for introspection and space to cut away the toxic people. Now I only occasionally talk to one of them who I was closest to. Now I have an internet best friend who I've been talking to for two years. She lives halfway around the world. I never thought I could meet such a like-minded person before I met her. I've never met someone who I've truly connected with. When I talk to her, I feel the same way you do about your friend. I never feel like I will be judged when I tell her something, it feels safe when we talk to each other. I am so grateful to have her in my life. This year, I made one more friend who is so supportive and kind and understanding, something I've never really had in a friendship before. A classmate from the 4th grade also reached out to me earlier this year and we've been talking frequently since then. We hadn't talked to each other in seven years but he reached out to me suddenly and we instantly clicked! At the beginning of this year, all I wanted to do was get out of my shell a bit more and make genuine friends and I never would have guessed I'd be talking to someone I knew from lower school. I guess manifestation is magic because I wrote about making real, supportive, kind friends for so long and now it's happening. So, I don't have irl friends but I do have great online friends and I am content. Sure, I sometimes will cry about just wanting to hang out with a friend in a bookstore and exploring the city, wishing I had someone here with me, but I'm happy with the friends I have now. I know that eventually when I move out I will want to have one or two friends who live close to me so we can hang out, so that's what I'm manifesting now.

I saved my father's life twice and, when I leave him he told me "who knows... who will save me again" beside of be my dad he is my only friend, in my 33 years I never found a true friend, there was something that they will want from me, your smile, your condescending company, someone that agrees with them in everything or some "little dog" that walks behind them. With the years I become better discovering what those friends wanted from me. What kills me is not the fact I had found friends but the fact I cannot save my dad one more time.

I've recently reflected on the "loss" of friends so this video came at a perfect time. I've always been comfortable and peaceful with my own company, but at times I feel as if I'm missing out even if I know people drain my energy.

You have 2 friends bcoz you are introvert like me, introverted don’t easily make friends but when they do , it lasts forever

who else is in the satisfied loner club? 🙋🏻‍♀️

Few friends require a little amount of maintenance. Requires less of your time.. effort,.. it is not draining.. you have more energy and time to focus on loving yourself, aiming for self growth.. also, the peace is overflowing..

I learned this the hard way but now I only have 1 best friend which I treasure the most❤️

I recently started feeling this way. It's insane the amount of things that keeping popping up at the right time through my current insecurity. I only have one friend at the moment and it's been a while since I've had any. It feels nice but it's also a little overwhelming because they have more than one. It does make me feel lonely sometimes and I'm realizing I started relying on our friendship too much. It's been a process of learning.

Quality over quantity 🙏🏼 I personally resonate with other introverts and generally just deep, kind-hearted, high-quality people. Anyone else? 🙋‍♂️

I understand this now that i'm an adult.

you should create a podcast! your words and thought process on such important issues/topics/things alike are very much thought provoking, eye opening, and inspiring. grateful for u

A real friend is there for you on not ONLY your SUCCESS but most importantly on your DOWNFALL

I appreciate your authenticity! I only have a small handful of friends as well, but I prefer having less yet more meaningful friendships than accumulating a large amount of acquaintances. Thank you for inspiring many aspects of my RU-vid channel.

The number of friends means nothing. The quality is what counts! I’d take 2 real friends over several fake ones!

I used to be very introverted and had a very small group of friends who I am still friends with , but lately I have been talking to more people and have got some new friends along the way. I understood that just because I am talking to a lot of people doesn't mean all of them are my friends. The thing with asking a friend for advice isn't bad but we shouldn't and can't expect them to be always there. Great video 💙

At school it’s always ‘omg I don’t have any friends’ or ‘I have no friends’ As a joke but everyone judges you on the amount of friends you have.. I have a few really good friends and I wouldn’t have it any other way because I love them so much and I know they are there for me always ❤️

I can relate so much with everything that you've said. I have 3 friends that I really consider and we have been close for years and absolutely no drama ever. The problem to me is that I moved out last year to another country and even though I love spending time on my own and I'm constantly in touch with my friends online, I miss having somebody to hang out in person. It sucks not having the option anymore of either being alone or hanging out with a good friend, I want new friends but ugh it's such a hassle lol I guess we'll see what life brings