the challenge of finding true friends

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the challenge of finding true friends
I have had trouble at times finding friendships that are built on respect and kindness, sometimes I have gotten caught up with relationships that are built on other things that don’t serve me as well. In my case, it feels as if the people we surround ourselves with have a big impact on our mindset, everything from the words we use to the way we think. Negative friendships are something I’ve had to learn to be careful with, because they can hinder my personal growth, especially when I feel like I’m being put down or constantly criticized. Anyway, this autumn I’ve been reflecting on the fact that I now share my heart and life with people who choose kindness and compassion, and who inspire me to be better. I’m so grateful to have found them! Hope you can share your experiences below! I hope we can try to not be simply negative towards others, but instead consider what we can change in ourselves, our lifestyles and mindsets to serve ourselves better and thrive.
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1 окт 2023

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Комментарии : 1,1 тыс.

@Wewillbeokay8 3 месяца назад

I’m 40 and have no close friends. It gets lonely but it’s better than being surrounded by people who don’t care about you.

@seriouslywhatever1031 9 месяцев назад

I lost a lot of "friends" when I started asserting boundaries on my time and energy. When I walked away at any sign of disrespect. When people tried to take but never give.

@czarina7786 9 месяцев назад

You’re healing. They are not. Hard to have them go but your serenity will heal.

@egrace3738 9 месяцев назад

More quality, less quantity. I'm doing the same thing. ❤ I do count myself fortunate to have 4 good, long-term friends in my life. May you recognize true friends, too.

@shelliefehlman5487 9 месяцев назад

Yes, people take too much and you feel like a used toothpaste tube. Friends didn’t visit once when I was hospitalized for a month, not even my roommate. What an eye opener. Friends say I bore them when I talk about life. After the empathy and support I provided, I respectfully withdraw. They don’t deserve anything from me least of all friendship.

@lanascottlighthouse4934 9 месяцев назад

Those were not friends they were acquaintances!!! Friends will have respect for your boundaries and things that you will or will not put up with... Of course that's a two-way street but if you've always been a giver or have healing abilities those people that like to take try to latch on like you're the mama!!!!

@annetedder8202 9 месяцев назад

Some people grow old and some people grow up.

@sailorgirl2017 9 месяцев назад

In my 30s there was a profound shift in relationships and I found less was more.

@The_Wandering_Nook 9 месяцев назад

Same 🖤

@donnaj.1634 9 месяцев назад

Me too.

@thecarters4147 9 месяцев назад

Same!

@BriteLake 9 месяцев назад

As you get older the more that will ring true.

@phinesdaughter1737 9 месяцев назад

Same here - it was very hurtful to go through a shift in friends in my 30's as well, but the friends I have in my life are truly friends.

@Native-Kitty 9 месяцев назад

When it comes to friendships, life has taught me that it’s better to have 4 quarters than 100 pennies ❤❤

@Cpazza 9 месяцев назад

Love this x

@flowergirl7260 8 месяцев назад

That's the best way of putting it. I agree!

@rewilding_rose 9 месяцев назад

A wise friend once said to me, "go where you grow." If someone is not interested in my most authentic self, then the friendship isn't meant to be. Sometimes we just outgrow relationships and friend groups and that's okay. I think it's always best to focus on quality over quantity. And as I get older, I find having a few people who I can really truly be myself with, and who I can trust with my most tender feelings, is the most important. ❤️

@haven-of-bliss 9 месяцев назад

Go where you grow. I like that. 🌸🌸

@bink865 9 месяцев назад

Things to avoid: gossip, envy, competition.

@haven-of-bliss 9 месяцев назад

Yes. I agree. I think, and I could be wrong, but people that engage in this behavior lack the confidence to show up as they really are. And so their own self-hatred is manifested in these qualities: gossip, envy, competition.

@Newbornmila 9 месяцев назад

@@haven-of-blisssadly i have a lot of competition in my head, I really want to get rid of that

@TxAggieJen 9 месяцев назад

I have encountered this a lot. The last 2 women I've met for potential friendship immediately started with showing off, bragging about their wealth and expensive items they buy. Why?? I didn't comment on it and changed the subject every time it occurred, but I felt that each time they would try to bring it back to that. Another 2 women I've met would talk obsessively about their medical problems (too much info, too soon) and it was frustrating for me because no amount of changing subject worked. Some days I just want to give up trying because clearly I'm doing something wrong and can't attract like-minded people.

@Newbornmila 9 месяцев назад

@@TxAggieJen u gotta pay attention to where are u meeting them, if u want minded people u can’t expect to find it on instagram or clubs, also dont be searchin for a partner, the good ones always come to us

@sammielaaK 9 месяцев назад

Agree! If people gossip about others in my presence then they will also gossip about me when I am not there. At least that's how I think about it. That's why you have to choose friends carefully.

@tinagarcia3571 9 месяцев назад

I find friendships difficult because people have profoundly disappointed me. I love my pets they are honest. My dearest friend passed away at the beginning of Covid. Luckily I have my husband of 46 years.

@schatzishomestead8427 9 месяцев назад

My husband of 39 years is my best friend.

@thinkforyourselfjohn3167 9 месяцев назад

@@schatzishomestead8427That's beautiful. You are Blessed.

@thinkforyourselfjohn3167 9 месяцев назад

I understand and relate.

@infernafirestein 9 месяцев назад

I agree with you completely!

@user-wv9xl8wc8v 9 месяцев назад

Good or u at least u had husband some people lick me I feel so lonely I had my sister and auntie and they are so sick 😢

@randomentertainment2890 9 месяцев назад

I often find that friends let me down and make me feel more lonely. I’m so unique and different that it’s hard to find “my people.”

@nganguyen-id7pp 4 месяца назад

I feel exactly the same

@user-yd2ol2ho7k 2 месяца назад

I feel the same way

@joshb7326 9 месяцев назад

I relate to this video a lot. I'm 32 and I've never been able to find a loving partner and struggle to make friends. I love my job studying wildlife and love learning guitar, I just hope someday I can find more friendships and a relationship

@KristyVibes 9 месяцев назад

When you are not looking or trying to “find” is when the right person will come along for you! For now keep focusing on your job that you love and things that make you happy!

@madhusmita1243 9 месяцев назад

I feel you… I’m on the same page and entering thirties.. would it be weird to ask if we can see if we can get along?..

@joshb7326 9 месяцев назад

@@madhusmita1243 No it wouldn't, I would be happy to chat more 😊

@srimitamallik8037 9 месяцев назад

Sending you love, wherever you are. I feel you.

@80neptune 9 месяцев назад

Very nice water color!

@patriciasigg945 9 месяцев назад

Sometimes, being your own best friend is all you need. :)

@lanascottlighthouse4934 9 месяцев назад

When I was but a girl my mother told me something that I passed onto my children that has held true in all my 60 years.. once you grow up and you were out of school if you can count on one hand five or less friends you know would come to your aid no matter what time of day or night or reason those are true friends everybody else are acquaintances... 🎉 I have found this to be true throughout my 60 years.... ❤❤❤

@doloresgockel714 9 месяцев назад

Amen to that!

@josephstevens9888 9 месяцев назад

How true, how true!

@kimhiller2532 9 месяцев назад

My Father always said that!!!

@lanascottlighthouse4934 9 месяцев назад

I'm glad you know we all had SMART PARENTS!! 😘

@TheCottageFairy 9 месяцев назад

Hello everyone! I just wanted to share a bit on this topic and hopefully spark a conversation! I have a small, close-knit group of people in my life that hold my heart and are kind and loving kindred spirits, but it took time to find and cultivate these friendships. I’ve had a bumpy road with friendships throughout the years, sometimes I’ve found myself in relationships where I have not felt considered or respected. It’s not always easy to navigate relationships, but this video isn’t about being negative about people, instead - it’s about looking within and accepting that all I can do is be patient, open, kind, and keep working on myself while I seek out new people and connections ❤ I appreciate your thoughtful feedback or advice!

@victorlui5955 9 месяцев назад

Hello Cottage Fairy. 😊

@EternalBliss74 9 месяцев назад

Hello dear fairy I absolutely love your videos n yes i also love being alone rather than having friends around who are not sincere with you or with whom you have nothing in common for a substantial friendship. Lovely serene living stay blessed n thank you for the pear recipe i will definitely give it a try with apples 😘🙏🏼♥️

@MadJenno 9 месяцев назад

It’s hard to make friends as an adult . I really loved this episode . It’s resonated with me deeply. Thank you for sharing, thank you for making yourself open and vulnerable, I appreciate it more than you know x ❤

@caitlyn449 9 месяцев назад

Hello Paola! I too struggled with finding true friends. In school I definitely had experiences when people did not respect me and treated me sort of subhuman. I’ve always been quiet but I became almost mute and painfully shy once I had started having negative experiences with so-called friends. In sort of knocked the wind out of me, my confidence. But luckily my last 2 years of high school were much better and my university experience was all- around wonderful. I’m still introverted but I’ve been blessed with very nice coworkers and bosses at my job and it’s wonderful. I feel like I can breathe again when I’m in social settings now. Thanks for shedding some light on this topic that many people deal with. P.S. I was wondering did you ever receive a package from me, Caitlyn in Colorado? I sent it back in January but wasn’t sure if you ever received it. Take care dear❤️

@sylvain123 9 месяцев назад

Poached pears with passion fruit and honey drizzled over it and a bit of ice-cream is divine 😊

@biases15 9 месяцев назад

Me as an introvert I struggle so much making friends. Your video inspired me a lot i hope i can make my own someday

@birlachandrasekaran5442 9 месяцев назад

Thats good👍

@elysianfields1671 9 месяцев назад

One of the greatest challenges in life is finding people whom you can trust. That comes even before finding friends. So you see how difficult it is to find friends.

@nigella4me 9 месяцев назад

One thing I've learned over time, I'm now 68, is if a "friend" never makes time to get together when you live close by each other, always has excuses, cancels at the last minute, doesn't make the time to come visit you and comfort you when something happens that truly breaks your heart, always has to be on her time table IF she decides to go through with the plans, and is never happy, it's not worth pursuing. Some "friends" aren't really friends, they're users who use you when it's convenient for them, when THEY need someone but aren't willing to really be there for you, you'll especially see who your true friend is during the bad times. If they aren't there for you during those times, forget it. True friends WANT to be with you during the tough times. I've seen videos where friends who live in different states will visit each other when one or the other is going through a tough time, has her heart broken for one reason or another, etc. If they live close by and won't make time to get together and do "girl stuff," or just spend time with you, move on. Otherwise you'll end up feeling like YOU'RE the only one trying to have a true friendship, it's not worth the stress. And I won't tolerate someone who will text you for hours but won't EVER pick up the phone to talk. Texting all the time gets real old, real fast. I like to actually hear their voice, their emotions, etc. Texting is fine here and there, but never actually talking to each other? No thanks.

@lindahenderson1625 9 месяцев назад

I am 71 and an introvert. That doesn’t mean that I don’t want friends. Just people who go deeper than gossip, tv episodes, etc. I want someone to listen when I talk to them. I don’t want to see the top of their head as they are looking at their phone or accept a call. If it’s truly an important call or an expected call, please keep it brief. One too many times, I have sat in my living room waiting while my guest (aka friend) takes the call. Call wait , anyone? Call wait causes one too think that the other call might be important to the person over yours. I am learning that I have many one sided friendships. I now have even less of a social life , but I respect who I am with, myself.

@metislamestiza3708 9 месяцев назад

@@lindahenderson1625 i think people of our age have a tendency to find this behaviour more disrespectful than younger people. when you were hanging out with friends before mobile phones, you were WITH that person. i share your opinion completely

@nigella4me 9 месяцев назад

@@kim-pm8gi Yeah, fair weather friends are not worth the time and energy.

@felicitygrace5113 9 месяцев назад

I agree with you 100%! I have had a friend that is a texter and havent seen in several years. Ive put her in the category of acquaintance and moved on.

@nigella4me 9 месяцев назад

@@felicitygrace5113 That's a good category. I had a friend who could sit and text forever but would never make time to get together, and we live about 3 minutes away from each other. When my 18 year old dog died I was devastated because it happened through an accident of jumping off the bed wrong and landing on her head, paralyzing her so I had to put her down, I was beyond heart broken. I asked my "friend" to come over because I wanted and needed her company, and that was a week after my dog died, I didn't expect her to drop what she was doing the day my dog died. She just "texted" me to see how I was doing. She had excuses that just didn't cut it. When she did that, I just let her go. Even my kids were shocked she didn't come over at least for a little while. In fact, my daughter's friends did more for me than my own "friend."

@joannekempf3350 9 месяцев назад

I never had many friends and always felt lonely as a child. At 67, I now realize that I don’t need to have people around me; in fact, I find most people irritating! I’m a lot like you. I’m very artistic, and I think artistic people tend to be more introspective; having people around interferes with that. I’m not stand-offish; in fact, I do a lot of volunteering and I interact with a lot of people, but I really only have two people I consider close friends, and one of them is my sister. It took me a long time to accept that I like it like this; this is who I am, this is how it’s supposed to be.

@andreah.5034 9 месяцев назад

This describes me too. Blessings

@monpet8952 9 месяцев назад

Sad but true. At 60 I’ve also come to realize that friendships can’t be forced.

@ll5974 9 месяцев назад

58. Same. Two and one is my sister who is super different from me, so it takes extra work.

@Myst_Eerie_Isle 9 месяцев назад

I only have maybe two actual "friends", but even than I don't feel confident in contacting them and asking them to hang out. I don't want to be a bother. I feel lonely sometimes, but it hard to find anybody that I can relate with or to even trust.

@childofchrist7625 9 месяцев назад

I don't even have 2... my mom is my only friend lol.

@thinkforyourselfjohn3167 9 месяцев назад

@@childofchrist7625You are Blessed you have your mom.

@JoyeuxGraces 9 месяцев назад

My mom has always been my dearest friend too but she is approaching end of life and my heart feels so sad. Have never found friends I love as I love her

@BettaChristina 9 месяцев назад

@@JoyeuxGracesMy mom was my best friend, she passed away last November and life isn't the same without her. I'm a person who likes to be alone but it feels lonely without her, I was her caregiver for years and we lived together, have very view family (my dad and a cousin with her husband) and my cats. I'm a introvert (INFJ personality) and struggling with chronic disease from a young age that gave me depressions and she was a encourager. It's hard without her but trust me you will survive it to and while your mom is still alive show her as much love as you can!

@Nwladylaura369 9 месяцев назад

I wish I could say my Mom was my best friend. It was a complicated situation. I loved her a lot and miss knowing she is gone. No best friend currently, but I have met some nice gals in a group I joined.

@cherievivian9830 9 месяцев назад

Beautiful video, piano in background. Autumn has come. And the questions we ask are timeless. Your channel is a hidden gem.

@TheCottageFairy 9 месяцев назад

Thank you so much, I am honored ❤

@graceverssen5651 9 месяцев назад

A gem...definitely. But, not so hidden. 😊

@FlwrCats76 9 месяцев назад

It's hard to make deep connections and friends. I crave depth and authentic friendships, but my social anxiety makes it hard to drop my "mask." I feel so inauthentic, rigid/stiff, mirroring, people pleasing, and overly polite when meeting new people. It's hard to let my guard down and I find myself keeping it surface level. Which is odd, because I don't like small talk and crave depth. It takes a certain energy and safety to let my "mask" off :(

@zila626 9 месяцев назад

I'm the same way, you're not alone. ❤

@obiblooze5902 9 месяцев назад

Yes this is me too

@madhusmita1243 9 месяцев назад

You spoke my mind 🥺 do you think.this same ground is enough to consider getting to know each other?… 🙈 I hope it doesn’t sound creepy 🫥

@ANA-dk7lt 9 месяцев назад

Hey there, appreciate your honesty. I think it's wise to keep it surface level with new people until you can get the measure of them. You are precious and unique and not everyone is worthy of your friendship. There is of course a root to social anxiety. Gabor Mate is so insightful re. I wish you the freedom to be your beautiful self and the wisdom to know how to have healthy boundaries. 😊

@wispoftheheart 9 месяцев назад

i feel the exact same way, you’re not alone. ♥️

@rainbowvisionart8025 9 месяцев назад

As I’ve gained more insight in relationships, I’ve understood that friendships or just people in your life come and go like train stops! Some stay for one stop, some for longer and very few if any, forever ❤

@johndej 9 месяцев назад

Friendship is a tricky subject. Here's a couple of examples. I recently had my 55th high school reunion. We had a great turnout for such an old group. During our time there, we were very friendly with each other. So many great memories popped up, as did a few sore spots. We are friends, but not the kind you can count on for immediate support or communication. When I think of those people, I feel warm and happy. But that will fade until we get together again I'm sure. I'm 'friends' with many people on social media but unless there is a strong emotionally connection for some reason, they don't count as what I would consider real friends. It's just a way to communicate with similarly minded people mostly. In the big picture, they aren't going to count as true friends. Close friends, to me, are people that you can say anything, bare your soul, ask for help, and do whatever I can to reciprocate. There's an attraction based on common beliefs, interests, activities, etc. They might have become more at one time, but moved comfortably into that safe region of friendship. These are few and far between unfortunately. Other than my wife, I have very few who I would call close. Over time, I've had a few. But most fade away or end due to time, hurt feelings, or other trauma. There are true friends who I rarely see or hear from. Yet whenever we have contact, it's like there's been no separation. I don't know how we go from friendly to true friends. I just know that a few of those actually work out. For me, they can't be forced. I've been through that several times as they were arranged by others. In my experience, they don't work. At my age, it's unlikely that anyone like that will come into my life again. But that's okay. I've accepted that the passage of time makes many things more difficult - and permanent. Sorry for the ramble, but thanks for the opportunity. Have a great week!!

@rrhines3151 9 месяцев назад

A quick comment about your reunion. . . my class just celebrated our 50th high school reunion and I chose not to attend, though I have attended others. . . the last one was a, I'm guessing, 15 years ago and my "close" friends said they would join me there. . . out of our "close" group of 4, no one showed. Perhaps it was my sensitive nature at the time but I enjoyed myself, as I traveled in many groups in high school so I found many to speak with. Yes, that warm & happy feeling after the reunion faded and I have remained close with the other 3 girls until recently but I will write about that in my response to the topic and not just to the reunion. I'm glad you had such a nice time!

@a.katherinesuetterlin3028 9 месяцев назад

I believe that in order to cultivate true friendships of any kind -- whether or not platonic turns romantic-- one must learn how to be more than happy by oneself and enjoy one's own company. It's okay to be a hermit, and be selective about who you want within your energy. Because we're taught that not having a lot of friends is somehow bad, we can oddly feel inordinate guilt about being by ourselves and learning how we truly are, as opposed to what others think we should be. But I contend that for those of us feeling that inordinate guilt about being hermit-like, it's the most healing thing to just be around those that truly nurture your soul, rather than feel obligated to be around those who drain your energy. In other words, quality, not quantity, is key. I wish you many blessings. 🙏🙏

@IntrovertedLoLo 9 месяцев назад

I was bullied and isolated my entire high school career. I’m 30 and recently skipped my ten year reunion. Those people can absolutely s*ck it.

@MinouMinet 9 месяцев назад

Such an eloquent message, it resonates truth. Thank you!

@jannier9766 9 месяцев назад

I can totally relate to what you wrote here and agree. The friends like you describe in the social media ‘friends’ I describe as “friendish”. 😊

@cathycarey9388 9 месяцев назад

I spoke to a dear, old friend last night and it made me question our friendship. I didn't say anything as the call has become routine for her, but this really made me think about how she always touches on the subject that she knows hurts me. My inclination is to distance myself so I think I will take a break to save my emotions from unkind or callous comments.

@lolizorz 9 месяцев назад

The challenge of finding any friends lol

@childofchrist7625 9 месяцев назад

LOL😅 Ikr?

@ZardoDhieldor 9 месяцев назад

Finding bad friends isn't that hard, but that's not exactly helpful...

@jhildebrand7447 9 месяцев назад

@@ZardoDhieldorare they really friends?

@aruvielevenstar3944 9 месяцев назад

I only have two friends who live really far away

@helibloo3867 9 месяцев назад

These feels

@pamelawilliamson8176 9 месяцев назад

I moved to a new location six years ago and I haven't made one true friend in all that time . I have one friend but we rarely really meet up. There have been a few who came and went. These last years of living alone and being single for about eight, have taught me so much about myself, and given me the space to explore my own creativity ,and new projects. I often feel that it is better to have no real friends than the wrong kind of friends. I have been lonely at times but have found great comfort in the outdoors, like yourself. I really enjoy your videos and honesty. Much love P xx

@Erins_Prophetic 9 месяцев назад

God bless you Pamela. I pray that you find a true friend :) I understand what you're going through.

@aidak3341 8 месяцев назад

I can relate to this ❤ I would also rather be alone than have the wrong kind of friends. I hope you are doing well 😊

@jacqui9176 9 месяцев назад

Always quality over quantity when it comes to friendships. Most importantly be your own best friend. x

@metislamestiza3708 9 месяцев назад

i lost many friends when i was diagnosed with cancer a few years ago. i don't know if my situation made them question their own mortality or that they just flat out didn't want to have to deal with changes in me. frankly, i'm better off without them. i cherish each day and have learned to enjoy peace and quiet, and discovered i'm not the extrovert i thought i was. i prefer the company of a handful of friends and my family who love and support me unconditionally. my appreciation for life and the simple joys of nature's abundance, reading a good book. cooking good food, and having a hearty laugh with those i love is really all i need now. this was a beautiful episode Paola, thank you for your insight and candor. Know you are not alone in your vision of friends.

@TJPoppy 9 месяцев назад

🤗

@jsterling6805 8 месяцев назад

It seems to be a habit that when you are ill with any afflictionbyou see the true colors of those around you and it does hurt.

@lunardesignstudiolinda1256 9 месяцев назад

How beautiful a cottage fairy cookbook would be! Please. ❤

@carolyncarlon9870 9 месяцев назад

My husband gave me some insight about friends…we have all kinds of friends. I guess different kinds of friends meet certain needs. And not think a friend fullfill all my needs/expectations. It really helped me to not be so disappointed. But be thankful. 💚💚💚

@SeaTurtle515 9 месяцев назад

I was spending time with one of my dear friends and she asked if I had many friends. I told her I have a fair number of aquaintences, neighbors, etc. but I keep my inner circle very small, of which she is part. I don’t deal well with over bearing, toxic, gossiping, agenda driven people. I thrive in calmness, peacefulness, kindness, respect, joy and wisdom. Your content is very peaceful and uplifting, which is reflected in your art. 🍂

@nickfurtak7355 9 месяцев назад

Y es, this is very true for me also. I do have some aquaintences that may see me as a close friend because I spend time with them after worship but, I believe showing kindness and forgiveness of small faults and personality annoyances that I find distasteful is a little cross to bear with great love. As I need the same love and forgiveness too. Paola truly expresses so many of our hearts in such wisdom as you have expressed here, thank you!

@nickfurtak7355 9 месяцев назад

It was Nick's mom, Lori who replied. ☘

@deftrick 9 месяцев назад

There are some people that are just examples of Nobility. She is absolutely one of them. Love you very much...

@misswomble 9 месяцев назад

I love the word Nobility ❤

@errollleggo447 9 месяцев назад

Fall is my favourite season. Lots of crunchy leaves on the ground. Everything has lots of colour.

@childofchrist7625 9 месяцев назад

Mine too....🍂🍁 I wish it were Autumn all year.

@glorialiu7536 9 месяцев назад

The first image is gorgeous, like the movie! You are so talented. Beyond being your own author, you also can be an illustrator of other authors' books. Totally agree with what you said about friendship. The older I am, the more I think nature could be anyone's best and loyal friend.

@hannahgallagher2289 9 месяцев назад

It’s has always been very difficult for me as a deeply introverted person INFJ type to find friendships and I’m over 50 and it’s still very difficult

@homesickNovalis 9 месяцев назад

Infp and 43. I can relate. Wishing you well🙏🌻

@marygerardine1526 9 месяцев назад

INFJ here and almost 40. I relate to this very much.

@aprilwhite3474 9 месяцев назад

Same. Introverted INFJ, age 38. You’re not alone! ❤

@kristinburton4953 9 месяцев назад

Me too. I realize now that people saw my softness and just used up my energy and moved on.

@ngockhanh4689 9 месяцев назад

yeah, me toooo, I'm introverted INFJ and I'am just 16 yrs old, struggling to find my group of friends, cuz everyone in my class has one

@lianapalumbo8457 9 месяцев назад

I became a mother very young, and was in a very bad relationship. 16 years ago I was able to escape with my children that ranged in age from 4 to 12. I had no friends and little to no contact with family. My children were my priority and now that they are adults I still find it hard to connect with people. My youngest lives with me due to disabilities and mental health issues and I can honestly say they are more mature than most people my age. I rescue animals and the love I receive from them is pure. I have tried to make friends but have been used and always ended up hurt. Maybe one day I'll connect with a kind soul but my children and animals are all I need. There are a lot of beautiful souls that are part of your community here on RU-vid. Thankyou for bringing everyone together 😊 xx

@ealaff521 9 месяцев назад

Brave lady

@missymischief1802 9 месяцев назад

It’s nice to read your comment on here, you are so deserving.

@melchysomba9690 9 месяцев назад

I'm just starting the transition from having a bunch of friends to having very few. I'm learning what my true values are, and that is what causes me and my old friends to grow further apart. Just like you, I too am getting more comfortable doing things on my own sometimes. It is painful, but it'll all be worth it in the end.

@littlefairyland763 9 месяцев назад

I'm in this stage too

@amymatos8281 9 месяцев назад

I've had to say bye to toxic uncaring people in my life. Totally worth it for my peace of mind.

@MariaTheBluebird 9 месяцев назад

Stumbling across videos like this and scrolling through the comments, it is moving to know that so many in this world, like myself, are also longing for close friendships while navigating loneliness. We may have trouble finding and identifying our complimentary counterparts and figuring out how to develop these connections, but I believe it is a pursuit worth exploring. We are on our own journeys, but there is an aspect of shared experience that suggests that we are, at least on some level, not alone.

@kimmyk3640 9 месяцев назад

Your beautiful book arrived in my mailbox yesterday. I opened it up to the section on Autumn and found myself in heartfelt tears as your soft prose made me think of my Grandma and how much she meant to me. I look forward to exploring each chapter. Thank you Paula for this book!

@jeaselabad7215 9 месяцев назад

i walked away from a toxic friendship. at first, I felt the guilt gnawing at me for leaving. but then i realized, it has to be done at some point, and it was the most liberating thing I had done for myself, and I wouldn't have it any other way.

@trunzia 9 месяцев назад

This topic is very timely for me, as I've noticed throughout the years that (the largest part of) socializing is about commenting and gossiping about others, as Isak says at the beginning of Wild Strawberries. This has become upsetting and plain boring to me. But this year has been even worse as I realized a very painful situation in my family, a medical problem suffered by my son, had become the object of gossip among my supposedly closest friends. I've always heard it's in times of hardship that you really get to know people; it's very painful.

@madhvisingh3407 9 месяцев назад

Your videos give peace and serenity to my mind and soul ❤

@mariedupuis7802 9 месяцев назад

Beautiful video again ! Now that I am retreat, I don t think anymore about having friends. I had two from my 7 to 24 years old and hoped that even if we had our own families being adults, friendship will continue forever in an kind way...Because we grew up together and shared so much personal things...But I was dreaming ! It turned really bad, they let me literally down without explanation, event if I encouraged them with love to continue our friendship...I have searched what I did wrong, but didn t find it, for I didn t change and was loyal and loved them...Before that I imagined our children playing together...So I had to decide to forget them but it was a hard pain. Since I have tried to make new friends but we lived too far from each other’s or they have a busy life and no time...Nowadays, my family is my best friend and I need nobody and nothing else, I don t search to have friends anymore, I let them come to me if it is my destiny, that s all and I feel very glad and confortable in that way. Be blessed and always happy. Hello from Paris France ❤❤❤

@micheledau1294 9 месяцев назад

I find a true friend is someone who's not constantly present, but someone who will be quickly available if the need arises. Those are the kind of friends who you may not talk to for six months, but suddenly, they will send you a funny picture, a deep thought, or request your opinion on some abstract thought as if you were just talking yesterday:)

@luannedimaggio7025 9 месяцев назад

I find the older we get the harder it is to feel the need for friends. The politics, hardships of living, and people just wanting to be mean is hard on me. And I get caught up in it all. I need to step back and find the love of my home and friendship within. Although my husband is my best friend ever. Loves

@CAGChannel1 9 месяцев назад

A couple of close friends- that’s ideal and what most do not have as they age. You are blessed to have that!!

@angelapriddy6308 9 месяцев назад

Iv been going through the same. Losing friends. Ones have been so used to me being their shoulder. My son passed last year and it's like they passed too. Not knowing how to be a shoulder for me. So sad. Thank you for this video.

@SimplyJeannie 9 месяцев назад

I’m sorry about your loss.. I can’t imagine how that must be for you, regardless of the time.. hugs from across the miles ~ Jeannie

@SassySue67 9 месяцев назад

I know exactly what you mean.

@angelapriddy6308 9 месяцев назад

@@SassySue67 thank you

@angelapriddy6308 9 месяцев назад

@@SimplyJeannie awe thank you so much!

@thinkforyourselfjohn3167 9 месяцев назад

I am so very sorry for your loss. 🙏♥️

@pawprintsjersey5787 9 месяцев назад

Paulo your a very old beautiful soul I see my reflection. Your true friend is your inner friend. I hear you❤ when you raise your frequency thought form new friends come into your life, you resonate with on same frequency energy. Our thoughts create our reality that's for sure. Have a bright lovely day. Love & Light to you from afar ❤

@writerdreamerreader 9 месяцев назад

I moved so much and made so many friends scattered around the world, but somehow the tendency is more of me trying to reach out to them than mutual thing. It makes me sad, as I have fond memories of times together and wonder if they were the same for them. Keeping friends is a difficult thing, but those that stay are to be cherished.

@Thomas-Chin10 9 месяцев назад

I like the theme of this video. In his De Amicitia, Cicero wrote, "True friendship is remarkable, and all remarkable things are rare." Here is the Latin text of it: "Amicitia vera est praeclara, et omnia praeclara sunt rara." The challenge of finding true friendship is universal. I think one of the main problems is that people usually put their self-interest first without realizing or perhaps they don't care that friendship is like a fragile plant that both sides have to take care of it.

@KathDM 9 месяцев назад

I have always been introvert, i have a chronical illness, i spend most of my time in home ( or in hospital ) , i have not really friends but it's not been a problem for me, i like the time on my own, i always was feeling i was divired, but it seems i'm not alone. I really like your videos, thank you for sharing :) 🙏💙

@layla_azar 9 месяцев назад

At the beginning of this week, it rained for two days in a row and I was very happy about it, but my day was very bad as I live in Syria and we were being bombed for two days. In addition, I was forced to sell my favorite ring because of the conditions. I cried and could not sleep because the ring is very dear to me and I have owned it since I was a child. Then I thought of you and decided to watch a video of yours. I can now say that I am relaxed and feel at peace. Thank you very much and I wish you all the best and success in your nice store. ❤❤

@feylights166 9 месяцев назад

My best friend has been a part of my life for most of my existence. I can't imagine not having her friendship in my life. I have a few other close friends as well, but I believe in quality over quantity.

@Heitmotivation 9 месяцев назад

Whenever i feel stressed i come and watch your videos... It makes me feel like you're talking to me... Love you sooo much... Im preparing for my exams by the way... i hope anyone who's reading this comment will find happiness, freedom,health and love you deserved😊

@carriann3725 9 месяцев назад

Thank you for your encouraging message. It’s very painful to let go a friendship with a best friend of mine who decided to end our years of friendship over a misunderstanding. I’ve cried many tears over this loss and even tried to cling onto this friendship . Your visual of falling leaves 🍁 will help me let go . I need to do this for my healing. 🍁💕

@lorianne5330 9 месяцев назад

It's a difficult thing. I've dealt with it recently and I've come to terms with it. Nothing stays the same and it will get better.

@milkycollective331 9 месяцев назад

This happened to me as well. I loved this person so much and now they're just gone. I'm still trying to move forward but it's hard when you always thought they would be a part of your life. All the best to you 💗💗

@janrichardson8715 9 месяцев назад

When I take time to stop and think, I find I don't need all of the "friends" that I thought I did. I am now in my 70's and basically have two very close friends and two other good friends. Like you, I have learned to weed out the negative and condemning one's. .moving to the country several years ago has helped a lot. More time to pray, think and reflect. I am so happy that I found you! On my way now to check out your Etsy shop. Blessings to you.

@missymischief1802 9 месяцев назад

Sounds wonderful to move to the country, have time to pray and reflect 😃

@eudoraevans3340 9 месяцев назад

I feel the same way. It's the same with family too. As children, we all get along, but as we age and grow....things change. I found many of the people I love are just not interested in growing, learning, expanding our views and especially the forgiveness of others. Those things are a stretch. Letting go of friends and even family relationships that aren't working is hard.

@jillh436 9 месяцев назад

I grew up not being allowed to have friends visit the home, this was difficult as they were so welcoming of me into their homes. After moving countries as a young adult I managed to make friends from college then work. Over the years they have all disappeared, due mainly through moving into different parts of our lives. I find it so hard to make new friends in my 60's. When I did make the effort to make new friends about 2 years ago, I was disappointed when I needed surgery which kept me from going out for 6 weeks, no one called me, no one texted me, despite being there for one of them after a cancer operation. I don't want to come across as a victim, but it's so hard to make new friends that are genuine and really want to spend time with you. So now I'm thinking maybe I just don't make any more effort, at least I have my husband. Sending love and light to all those in this similar situation.

@Nwladylaura369 9 месяцев назад

I understand not being allowed to have friends over! Just know you are not alone. There are a lot of kind people that would like true friendship. And we are in your age group. It’s not easy, but it can happen if you join a few groups of like minded people. ❤

@Englishroserebecca 9 месяцев назад

You are right. This is often the case. I find friends often only want the friendship for what they can get out of it like they need someone to go to the cinema with to save them going alone etc, but very few want to put anything into the relationship. I’ve come to the conclusion after many years friendship can be over rated. I know this sounds negative but I’ve also been disappointed and let down quite often. Not many people seem to put as much value on the friendship as I do.

@calypso4554 9 месяцев назад

I am sending you back lots of love and light. Take care. Everyone of us is precious. ❤

@strawberriya_ 9 месяцев назад

finding out your “current friends” aren’t your true friends and feeling lonely despite not being alone can be hard too. realizing that you have yet to find your people is a harsh realization , and I’m still stuck in this situation sadly :( realizing that you and your friends have nothing in common, that you’re talking about the things around you rather than sharing little bits of ourselves and building trust in the process. i feel ashamed most of the time for keeping friendships that don’t serve anything, that are just for the purpose of not being alone. i think this is true for teenagers, since that’s when you start becoming mature and having a sense of self and awareness of the things outside of yourself. it’s easy to meet people, but it’s never easy to stay or make them stay． I’m still 18 and i can say that I’m grateful to have had friendships that I’ve outgrown and have learned many things about myself from the friends that I’ve had. I’m still a freshman in college and have plenty of Iife lessons to look forward to in life. I’m learning everyday, I make mistakes everyday and having a supportive family has helped me along the way. I would like to give and receive the same trust that I have with my family and I’m glad that they’ve set a standard for me when it comes to trust. I hope that someday in the future I can finally have friendships that don’t drain me, where I don’t have to hide parts of myself just to please the other person or for the sake of not being alone 🤍

@jenniferjemison636 9 месяцев назад

Don't worry, you are on the right path of self discovery...and so young too. You seem to be a deep thinker, and I think that will be your biggest asset on your journey through this complicated place called Earth. Good luck😊

@strawberriya_ 9 месяцев назад

@@jenniferjemison636 thank you for your kind words! 😊 I hope you don’t mind me saying this (as a religious person), but may God bless you in this complicated place called Earth as well :) 🤍

@jenniferjemison636 9 месяцев назад

@@strawberriya_ Thank you. All the best .

@TheGymnast71 9 месяцев назад

Ive had a hard time finding female friendships based on kindness and respect.

@lauramonahan9343 9 месяцев назад

We are meant to be part of a "tribe" (group of people who are usually related), not alone. To find a friend, one must be a friend. As a kind person, I think you're probably quite good at it.

@littlefairyland763 9 месяцев назад

Even if we have being a good friend... Mostly people not considered it as a kind and patient but see it as a foolness... So they not respect you. So, it is really difficult to find a good one. The one who appreciated and respected

@cynthiabiel7714 9 месяцев назад

@@littlefairyland763 I understand what you are saying..The norm is that if you are kind and a good friend you will find and keep good friends because the appreciate you. I have found that many do take kindness for weakness.....I live in a MAJOR city....My mother came from the mountains of Puerto RIco at a time when people did make life long friends...I always had that small town friendliness in a big City.............I am a spiritual person and work at not being cynical or jaded....but realize now in my 60s that being a kind person and a good person are not always the same.....I have met very charming people who seemed kind but were the worst people ....and conversely I have met snarky , rude people who would help a stranger.............I believe that personally I should lead with kindess until the person shows me different then I must detach......... I read recently that energy does not lie....so perhaps how you feel around a person and they feel around you is a good indicator if the relationship is healthy.

@kristinburton4953 9 месяцев назад

I was too much of a friend to people who are too draining.

@annetedder8202 9 месяцев назад

love this comment.

@lisac1619 7 месяцев назад

Yeah we are supposed to be in a tribe but I think most people in the tribe are mooching energy, resources, and time off the others

@littlefairyland763 9 месяцев назад

I'm done with friends who sees me as their competitor

@mariaespinosa5769 8 месяцев назад

What I find interesting about some of comments is how, some not all, think you need others to feel like you belong. I think that comes with this fear of being alone. I think a sense of belonging starts with self acceptance and once that happens everything else will follow. You find that you're a lot more discerning about the company that you keep because you're a lot more aligned and aware of who you are...I think it's just a normal process. Solitude is lovely and once it's embraced and not feared it can be very comforting.

@sallybarkla4991 9 месяцев назад

So important to be your own best friend. Treat yourself the way you’d like others to treat you. When I have a lunch for today prepared from last night’s meal that I cooked I say-some nice lady made that for me. She (I) thinks about me with kindness and acts in a thoughtful way. Most of the time. Thank you for your lovely videos 😊

@valsearle3702 9 месяцев назад

How lovely, I shall practice doing that too😊💐

@missymischief1802 9 месяцев назад

I ask my dog to make me a tea, because I know he would if he could.

@Sunny-pr1qw 9 месяцев назад

I have recently been thinking a lot about friendships, and how difficult it has been for me since I moved here 26 years ago. I had and made friends easily in California, one is still my best friend and I am so thankful for her and her faithfulness. I have reached out to many many women I have met, we have done a few things together, at my invitation, and then I wait to see if they will reach out, and they have not, and I do not understand that. Something I have been praying about. I am an introvert and live alone and like that a lot, but I need some good ongoing friendships.

@yourleisure789 9 месяцев назад

This is a great topic to talk about. We do tend to hang on to what used to work for us, friends that fit into our life at that time, once the person changes their traits to ones you don't understand or respect; then its time to move on. Moving on does not mean we don't cherish what the relationship once gave us or or friend, it just means the relationship has served its purpose. The movie "Eat, Pray, Love" talks about how each person that enters our life can be considered a teacher, we can learn from and forgive each person as well as ourselves along our journey, send light and love to that person then carry on without them.

@khadeejadja 9 месяцев назад

Thank you for sharing your feelings and thought. BTW, most of the time I'd rather be content and comfortable as lone wolf without true friends among humans than surrounding by fake or/and toxic friends.

@kimmiebowers5248 9 месяцев назад

Me Too !

@carolynvenema2264 9 месяцев назад

I find integrity, a genuine spirit, & someone who makes the time for me are qualities that I treasure.

@britta4563 9 месяцев назад

Thank you from the bottom of my heart . I always look forward so much to your videos . I feel so comfortable in your world, it touches my heart. I have decorated my apartment with your paintings that I bought on Etsy and enjoy it every day ♥️ Greetings from Germany Britta

@LumiMushroom 9 месяцев назад

i have been slowly losing many of my friends after stepping out of school for various reasons and my oldest friend and i have drifted apart after interests and social groups have become different. thanks for this video it makes me feel ok with not having many friends and feeling out of place. also that pear and cinnamon looks soo good i will try it.

@rryntaylor 9 месяцев назад

I am 22, I’ve gone through a lot of mental shifts in the past 5 years. Naturally most of my friends have fallen away for reasons you mentioned in this video. I really appreciate your honesty and ability to create in such a pure way! Thank you for your existence 🌱

@rebeccajourney3183 9 месяцев назад

The older I've become, the more I value my oldest friends. Those who know where you're from, your story, and accept you just the the way you are.

@runningmama4793 9 месяцев назад

YES. To quote Oliver Wendell Holmes: "There is no friend like an old friend, who has shared our morning days." At 49 years old, I recently reconnected with a childhood friend, and it has been absolutely amazing, just being known and accepted.

@hilariecalijo4643 9 месяцев назад

Friends are hard for me. I agree, it’s hard to hear gossip and negativity. I Hv my husband❤, my son, daughter, auntie and two daughter in laws , my 13 month old grandson. My amazing best friend dog daughter , Cali. They’re my heart and all I need or want ❤ they’re my joy, they are enough. You are always so relatable, doll…so comforting

@jendivehall2338 9 месяцев назад

Unfortunately due to differing views on body automony, I had long term friends turn their backs on me and that was hurtful. Some were even nasty to me. The friends who accepted my decision without judgement are my true tribe and I hold them close. My nearly 66.

@sherrimartin1057 9 месяцев назад

That is sad that you lost old friends due to body automony issues. One question though, were you accepting of their thoughts and values of these issues ? I ask in a kind hearted way....no negative thoughts at all.

@jillychandler 9 месяцев назад

"The girl went walking every day, she watched the trees and the way they swayed, she thanked the spirits along the way, as the Fox and the Badger came out to play." This is a little snippet, from one of my poems, hope you like it. It seemed appropriate along with that lovely picture you have drawn, of yourself, and the sleeping fox, it is sooo beautiful. Love and hugs to you, Jilly & Madge the black rescue greyhound, from West Devon, England. xxx

@kimmiebowers5248 9 месяцев назад

Love ❤️ Love Your “ Beautiful “ “ Sweet “ Poem 🎈🎈🎈 Would Love ❤️ to read more 🙏 Kimmie ( Santa Monica ) California 🎈🎈🎈

@TheCottageFairy 9 месяцев назад

How beautiful ❤ thank you so much for sharing!

@jillychandler 9 месяцев назад

@@kimmiebowers5248 Thank you for your kind words. I love writing poetry, and I write it about what I see in nature, all around me, here in West Devon, England.

@jillychandler 9 месяцев назад

@@TheCottageFairy Thank you for your reply - I suppose I paint with words, and poetry, as you paint with a pencil or brush. xxx

@jillychandler 9 месяцев назад

@@darleneengebretsen1468 My goodness darleneengebretsen1468, I would sooo LOVE that! But Paola is a true artist, and it would be soo amazing to get that done! I would love to write a book, and get it published, but there are soo many books out there, what chance do I have?! xxx

@alicelee5045 9 месяцев назад

I am glad you brought this topic up today. It is so relevant to me and I see to many others. I am having great difficulty finding new friends. I have always had difficulty finding true, sincere and kind friends who want deep connections. As I grow older and heal myself, I am learning about myself, my needs, my values and my limits. Technology today has done more harm in terms of having genuine, clear and open communication with people. I am discouraged about finding friends as people seem to want superficial connections and do not have the capacity to be more available for deeper connections. It seems there is a lack of emotional maturity and intelligence. Humanity is changing and we are more emotionally distant from each other.

@dawndemet3331 9 месяцев назад

Biggest issue of my entire life. I’m now 65. I’ve given up. I’ve always felt women just don’t like me. I used to care, now I don’t. I know I’m a great woman, their loss.

@EighteenandCloudy 9 месяцев назад

I'm in my late 30s now, and have struggled with making proper friends all my life. My childhood was spent moving around a lot (military family) and so friends came and went, they were always situational friendships based on being in the same place at the same time rather than anything deeper. This carried on into my teens and twenties, I'd have friends for a time, but we always drifted once life took us to different parts of the country. Now self employed for 10 years, I find it harder than ever to meet people and make friends. Like you, I've no time for gossip, or much small talk either! It's tough.

@sarahlikesvlogs 9 месяцев назад

I can relate to you so much, coming from a transient military family myself. I actually had a little cry just last night about how I've always had to leave the people I love. Deeper friendships are harder to come by, it seems, when you are used to packing up and starting anew all the time. Now, in my late 20s, I still carry those feelings with me. I work from home which makes it all the more difficult to get out and connect with others. It's definitely been a sore spot all my life. I empathize 💛

@susanross1651 9 месяцев назад

I’m 70 & in all my life I think I’ve only had 3 true friends, but over the course of my life I’ve had what I call seasonal friends who come & go & change.

@blackthornsloe8049 9 месяцев назад

One of the greatest things is when you meet someone who's oddities match your own . That happened to my husband and I this week . We liked the man who was painting our house so when it got too dark for him to paint we had him stay for apple cake . The next evening he stayed to dinner . Life can hold some nice surprises .

@Avery_4272 9 месяцев назад

Beautiful video and message, Paola. It seems one of the things that causes friendship to dissolve is when one person strives to learn, grow, and mature, and the other person stays stuck in old, unhealthy patterns of behavior. It can be a sad parting of the ways. But perhaps some people are only meant to be in our lives for 'a season.' Those of us who seek to learn can move forward to greater fulfillment in life, in many ways. To anyone reading this, hang in there. Life can bring wonderful surprises along the way, often when least expected.

@luba-healthywithluba6866 9 месяцев назад

Choosing simplicity sounds freeing. Thank you. Yes to quality over quantity in friendships!

@PCAGA2298 4 месяца назад

Too anyone young reading this, if you find good friends, really nurture those relationships ❤

@slngander 9 месяцев назад

For those of us who are super feelers and highly sensitive, it can be hard. My best friends are my sisters. I am very blessed.

@jessquinn6106 9 месяцев назад

Like others have stated, I have found it difficult to make friends for the last 15 years since I moved to WA. I miss the old friends I had and all the friends we had this time of years. Autumn was so special with us. But at least you have your pets. I can not even have that much. And I have shed many a tear over the last 15 years over it all. I have learned to accept my alone time and that I may never make friends so long as I live in this state. Despite my setting, I do hope you do find those you look for. I seriously do. And remember, you do have so much more than others have. Many would give up so much for what you have. And some can not even do that much. You will be okay my friend. You will be okay. You have so much to give and share.

@nuevoordensocialnos8710 9 месяцев назад

Hola Paola, también me ha resultado difícil encontrar amistades verdaderas, he vivido en 7 lugares y creo que si viviesemos cerca seríamos buenas amigas 😊

@tiarailic4086 9 месяцев назад

I love what you said about gravitating towards kind people. That's the kind of person i want to genuinely grow into. Trying to be the "perfect " friend, ive learned a lot of that kindness can be forced out of a fear of "not being good enough" Worrying i'll dissapoint or that if people see my flaws they will walk away. That causes me a lot of stress in relationships that maybe i wont be able to live up to the standard i want. I have to allow myself time to grow and heal as i find i have two pendulums i swing to and the second one is often the one bottling up all the negativity and realeasing it in toxic bursts on people who shouldn't have to hold everything im pouring out. This has lead me to a place of reflection where im trying to get to know the different aspects of myself, to be kind for the right reasons and to know i genuinely have that power inside, love and kindness and to also acknowledge im not always good and can be toxic with the words i say. Im learning slowly how to be a friend to myself. It's tough work but i feel the pressure come off a little when im not worried about doing SO much and instead slow down and take in the energy that feels safe and good❤ thanks for your wise words cottage fairy! They always make my mornings peaceful 🌸💕🍂🥰

@rebeccabailey7995 9 месяцев назад

Thia is such a beautiful, peaceful channel that I look forward to weekly. You are very talented with your art and cooking. Keep up the good work. ❤Becky n MS.😊

@kalenreichert 9 месяцев назад

I’m an identical twin with an older sister so I’ve always felt like I didn’t really need friends as God had already given me the two best friends I could ever need/want. My husband, daughter, and parents are also my “best friends”. It’s a struggle to keep in touch with old friends because they can drain my energy and sap my joy. I enjoy being an oddball and crave alone time. I work in a cubicle for the majority of my week and that also saps my energy and joy. I hung up a felt pumpkins garland yesterday to make it a little more inviting. Your postcards also add a little whimsy and make me smile when I view them. Thank you for continuing to share your gifts with the world. I’ll go check out your Etsy shop now. ❤️

@BriteLake 9 месяцев назад

The topic of your episode hits home. About a year ago I was having a conversation online with a FB friend of mine about the difficulty of finding and making good friends in the community. It was a friendly exchange back and forth until one of her friends, a self-ordained minister, chimed in and said that old cliche "in order to have a friend you must be a friend" which came across to me as a snarky gaslighting statement that I wasn't trying hard enough. He said he had plenty of friends because he was a friend to many. Perhaps I was taking his unsolicited holier-than-thou advice too seriously. I am thin-skinned, that I know, and don't like to be confrontational but I managed to tell him off politely (I think) that he had no right to compare our lives because he has never walked in my shoes. You are a sensitive soul, Paola, so I'm sure you've had your share of being talked down to at times by condescending extroverts so that your self-worth has been questioned as well. It's not easy being an introvert in an extrovert's world.

@rinnie35 9 месяцев назад

I just realised you get more and more beautiful as the years go on, radiating love, truth and goodness. Thank you for sharing yourself with us - watching your videos is so good for the soul ❤️🙏

@kathy.7475 9 месяцев назад

Poached spiced pears sounds so good. Pears are excellent with chocolate as well. When I’m in Cascade Locks I eat breakfast at a restaurant that has Bob’s Red Mill oatmeal with spiced pear buried in it. Topped with brown sugar, cinnamon, raisins and toasted hazelnuts. So good.

@amyshomesteadanimals 9 месяцев назад

How can we be in a world FULL of people yet not be able to find friends? So many of us are lonely. 😢

@stepankapodlesakova2622 9 месяцев назад

thanks for sharing! I also feel like losing friends and even my family on my way being myself... and not necesserily finding any new ones... well, I'm glad to "have" at least some youtubers like yourself, it's calming to know that somewhere out in the world there still are nice, kind, authentic and inspirational people

@deezahm9143 9 месяцев назад

🍂Another lovely video and great conversation. I was forced to relocate to another state when my ex of 35 years filed for divorce. I lost everything including friends. I’m 67 and learned “older” people have “clicks” of friends just like high schoolers. I am closer to my grandsons, but it’s not the same as friends. Phone calls and emails are okay for staying in touch, but I miss going to lunch or garden centers, work etc. with my friends. Everyone tells me to ‘get out there’ but it’s a different world-so little kindness-what happened. My heart is with you all. 🍁🌻🍂🧡

@daytodaykat 4 месяца назад

I’ve spent 30 years in discomfort and unhappiness bc I’ve never had a true best friend - but only when I accepted the side of myself that truly never needed that in the first place, was when I found peace.

@SarahS329 9 месяцев назад

This topic is especially relevant to me now. I'm a senior in college, and recently broke off a friendship. It was complex, as this person had been with me through the darkest time in my life and was instrumental in prompting me to seek help. Unfortunately, once I got better, I seemed to leave that friend behind. They were often negative about others and about me, always making harsh criticisms. The final blow came when they joked about that dark time in my life. Someone who was once a salvation had now become an anchor, holding me down and reminding me of who I was before I sought help. Many small things had been said before this moment, and my fault in all of it was that I said nothing. I made no comments describing my hurt, my resentment, or my discomfort. When the final comment was made, I lashed out in response. Had I voiced my thoughts sooner, and in a more controlled manner, I might have spared myself the current discomfort of others taking sides, icy interactions, and general fear of social situations involving this person. I say all this in hopes that someone in a similar situation may know this from my experience: it is better to voice your hurt when it is "very little," rather than when it grows to be "too much." If someone wounds you by a topic they repeatedly bring up, however "insignificant" it may feel, do tell them that you are hurt. You may spare yourself AND the other person greater hurt in the long run. It is no small feat to tell someone how you really feel about something they have said to you, but if you want your relationships to last and last well, you must pursue truth above self-deception or resentment. I have always let resentment build, rather than acknowledging my hurt from the start. Many bad things in my life might not have been bad to the same degree, had I just voiced my hurt with calm and openness. Though those people may not have responded well even if I had done it better, I would have greater peace in knowing I handled it correctly. And THAT is what you should seek in any conflict: peace for yourself, and peace for others. Learn from my mistakes, please.

@TJMoolTricia 9 месяцев назад

I did the same thing with my best friend of 10 years, who I met in college. That was 17 years ago, now, and Im 20 years into my own healing journey. I would actually say, don’t worry about being human, we all stumble. I am much better at speaking up now too. But I did attempt to apologize, and you can always do so too. That was for the way I ended it, not that I did. She was similar to your friend, a highly critical, and righteous person. I loved her, but ironically, she could likely not have taken in a more mindful approach, anyway. The dynamic always needed her to be one up. As I got more and mire healthy in life, I saw how toxic and one sided her behavior was. It was a beautiful healing thing to see I was such a different person, who could never be friends with someone like that now. I wish her well and glad fir the time we did share, You’ll have that too Im sure.

@cosmicdonkey3473 9 месяцев назад

Your videos always speak out to me, but this one really hits home as three of my dearest friendships have taken a knock recently. I have struggled between either accepting those friendships won't be the same on one hand, and trying my hardest to repair them on the other. I realise that what is most important to me is for these friends to be happy, and so I am giving them the space they need. Then, when they're ready, I want to show them how much I care for them, and that I will work hard to repair broken bonds. Autumn is a time for healing.

@h0zi3r 9 месяцев назад

Lately I’ve realised how i’m stuck in a cycle where close friends will take more than they give, hardly ever considering it’s not what i want, and leaving me drained when conversation always shifts back to them no matter what, i’ve always ended up in friendships like this and every other time i eventually cut them off, but i realised it’s because i’ve never set boundaries that i’ve enforced and reminded people of, and maybe that’s my own fault but i’m trying to work on that more, and reminding myself not to take more than I give. Otherwise i think i’ve found a few friends who I really do trust and feel comfortable around, after years of rocky friendships since i was little, and I’m happy to have found such sweet soulds to surround myself with

@scpmdt 9 месяцев назад

Better to be with a few friends than with many who lack quality & thrive on gossip. Be true to yourself.

@SisterSherryDoingStuff 9 месяцев назад

The timing of this vlog aligns with the last few days. I prefer quality friendships over quantity. I have a couple of good friends. We had a very hard conversation this weekend. I'm the negative one. We discussed how we all want to be better friends, better listeners - and have clear, direct communication so there is no room for misunderstandings. Speaking of art - after my father passed in 2017 I dried up creatively speaking. I've been a self supporting artist for over 20 years. It's been exciting and fresh to begin to paint again - and reopen my Etsy shop. Autumn is good. I went to all the farms that are local here in Portland, on Sauvies Island - and I bought a bunch of pears. I need to eat them soon. I'd like to try what you made, but I'm confused as to what you put on it at the end. Was that honey? Thank you.

@Catlily5 9 месяцев назад

Definitely quality over quantity.

@tedpreston4155 9 месяцев назад

Sherry, Paola posted the source of the syrup she put on at the end, in one of her introductory comments above. After cooking the pears, she boiled down the water left in the pot, added some maple syrup, and caramelized it. I hope your pears bring you the same ecstasy we saw on Paola's face when she ate hers! Now I need to go find some Colorado pears! Sadly, I live on the wrong side of the state!

@SisterSherryDoingStuff 9 месяцев назад

@@tedpreston4155 Thank you so much for the reply. You are appreciated!! Yes, that pear looked like pure heaven!