Why Men Cheat: 3 VALID Reasons Women Don't Want to Accept

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Originally streamed on February 24, 2024.
Watch here: ru-vid.comoXYHr8ge8Qc
Cheating is a common marital issue that many couples face. This episode is not meant to excuse cheating but to help us understand why good men would do something so outside their character.
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⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠X⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠ ( karynseitz)
Timestamps:
(00:00) Podcast Intro
(01:31) Topic Introduction
(11:11) Women Withhold Affection
(17:22) Men's Feelings Are Disregarded
(27:43) Women Stop Taking Care of Themselves
(34:15) Perspectives on Disclosing Affairs
(43:01) The Solution
Disclaimer:
The views and perspectives on relationships that are expressed in my podcast and courses are meant for women married to good men and good men who are experiencing relationship issues within a range of behaviors that are common and usual - what you might reasonably expect your neighbors or friends to be going through behind closed doors. My message is not for abusive, violent, or compulsive behaviors in a marriage or relationship that are threatening or dangerous. If you are experiencing such behaviors and physical abuse, you should seek a licensed mental health professional who is trained in dealing with domestic abuse. Karyn Seitz and The Happy Wife School are not engaged in the practice of psychotherapy, clinical counseling, or any medical practice. You should not interpret any part of my podcast as traditional psychological, medical, or emotional therapy.
Karyn Seitz is not a licensed health professional. You should seek help for any specific psychological, medical, or emotional problems with a mental health professional or qualified physician.

Опубликовано:

29 июн 2024

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Комментарии : 118

@groatswerth2073 Месяц назад

Never thought I would ever cheat until I did. My ex constantly criticized me, was emotionally abusive (according to her own therapist) and refused sex - only once in the last 3 years of the marriage. Years of rejection both emotionally and physically wore me down. Then I connected with a woman who wanted to have sex with me. 12 years later I’m still with the other woman because she builds me up, shows me gratitude, respects me, and we still have an active sex life. We now have 3 boys and I am the happiest I have ever been. My 2nd wife really is the woman of my dreams.

@jorger7723 21 день назад

Hi! Thank you for sharing! How did you and your current wife connect? Did she know you were married?

@groatswerth2073 21 день назад

@@jorger7723 We had been friends for 10 years before we got together. I had originally met her at work, but she quit that job years before we got together. My ex knew her and they had been friends. When my ex told her she wanted to divorce me, my 2nd wife thought, “well if she is done with him, I’ll take him”. The twist is, my 2nd wife was a lesbian before we got together. With that background, we should be on Dr. Phil 😂

@tomhitchcock8195 Месяц назад

Withholding sex is meant as a punishment

@travisjensen1338 16 дней назад

Not Cool.

@extremecarpetcleaning-wvwi86 Месяц назад

Never stay in a sexless marriage. Life is to short. If they don't like sex they better like lots of other things.

@SomeGuy-xf9bc Месяц назад

It amazes me how many people think a man is still obligated to stay faithful to a person who is willingly using the withholding of sex as a mechanism for control.

@gittin_funky 28 дней назад

@@SomeGuy-xf9bc i think a lot of these would be against it on religious grounds ?

@SomeGuy-xf9bc 28 дней назад

@@gittin_funky That is because religion has been twisted. In the not so distant past, men could get a marriage annulled for failure to consummate the relationship. There was at least acknowledgement of that part of the deal.

@nickkruger3296 Месяц назад

I believe that she just truly thought that I would never leave because I was so loyal and dedicated. I gave her numerous opportunities to change to no avail.

@jamesstrawn6087 Месяц назад

And yet, a man will often and rightly remain loyal for his own sake.

@Ringmacher Месяц назад

To my own pain

@user-co7vk6et9q 5 дней назад

Rightly remain loyal?? Unless at least in my case and I'm sure most others, she was not the woman that I loved with all my heart and married but like a dumb head I'm still in. I feel that what's the point after I got old. My advice is don't waist your life waiting for and trying to get her to love you. Except maybe if miss karyn can help her. If that don't work trust me, nothing will.

@Jays_Highway Месяц назад

Solution: don't withhold sex. SIMPLE.

@Susan-fg3nv Месяц назад

That does not help people who choose to cheat. Swingers, promiscuous people etc

@Themusicalhealer 29 дней назад

its a tool for women, they use it to manipulate us.

@melkerner Месяц назад

Distant, disconnected, zero affection or sex and you wonder why he stops trying. walls, avoidance and no addressing the elephant in the room because it's too much to deal with, so slowly dying on the vine while the opportunity to save it is neglected out of anxiety and her own fears. 8 years without so much as a kiss on the lips. Sex only the previous 7 years once a year, year and a half, then nothing. She just disregards how I feel, and I am always wrong. It's like being held hostage

@kevingillard5474 Месяц назад

RUN

@jefflebars-tf5jw Месяц назад

Exactly my story. And then, after 11 years of repeating she had a hormone induced sexlessness, SHE was the one who cheated 🤣

@palmfamily3711 26 дней назад

My experience was very similar. I stayed with her after the first time she cheated on me. I forgave her and moved on and never brought it up again. I wanted her to be happy and exhausted myself physically. emotionally and spiritually for years until I became so broken and depleted that I became a shell of a man…a zombie 🧟‍♂️ of sorts. We had no form of affection for over 10 years. And she treated me like I was a piece of trash the whole time. All the while she was secretly having affairs. She finally left while casting all blame on me. Throughout all those years I never failed to provide for her…she never worked inside or outside the home to help out. I treated her like a queen and I was her servant. Even though she left me and the kids, she still tries to control me and lead me on, and won’t just let me be free of her. She has traumatized me and my family. I am sorry Karen, but to say affairs are not trauma is just wrong…This is one of the only times I have found myself in disagreement with you. But I think your overall message is still really great. Please continue to be an advocate.

@user-ut3sj3fy9v 17 дней назад

Then it is time to buy out. Even at a loss

@user-co7vk6et9q 5 дней назад

Try and get her to work with the happy happy wife school. And if she won't try dump her immediately. Find a woman that will love and appreciate you and if the relationship starts getting serious kindly explain to her that if she tries this crap you not put up with it. Wish I could build a time machine, I'd take my own advice

@tomhitchcock8195 Месяц назад

Scripture says that neither the man or the woman has authority over their own bodies.

@jeffreypullis696 Месяц назад

What! Where is that at? They become 1, when they are married they join. Physically, spiritally, and emotionally!

@DManSammy Месяц назад

@@jeffreypullis696 1Co 7:3-5 KJV 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. *4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife.* 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

@MadeToBeBold Месяц назад

@@jeffreypullis696 1 Corinthians 7 3 Let the husband render unto the wife due benevolence: and likewise also the wife unto the husband. 4 The wife hath not power of her own body, but the husband: and likewise also the husband hath not power of his own body, but the wife. 5 Defraud ye not one the other, except it be with consent for a time, that ye may give yourselves to fasting and prayer; and come together again, that Satan tempt you not for your incontinency.

@kevinlebsack5491 Месяц назад

@@jeffreypullis6961 Cor 7:4

@fan-i-am Месяц назад

@@jeffreypullis696 1 Corinthians 7:3-5 3Let the husband give to his wife her due, and let the wife also do likewise to her husband.4 The wife does not have authority over her own body, but her husband does; likewise, the husband does not have authority over his own body, but his wife does.5 Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent for an appointed time, so that you may devote time to prayer and may come together again, in order that Satan may not keep tempting you for your lack of self-control.

@jeffreypullis696 Месяц назад

We work hard! We have feelings too!

@planefrog Месяц назад

I'll tell you this much, it gets really easy to cheat on a wife that's already a cheat. I'd tell men not to do it though. Maintain your integrity and just get a divorce. Cheating wives should consider this fact too. Once their husband finds out they'll be thrown away as easy as they threw away their marriage.

@dougie6886 Месяц назад

No one wants an unfaithful partner.

@jstile2 Месяц назад

It is unfaithful to withhold love, respect and sex, for sure. Yes no one likes an unfaithful partner.

@Jojo10475 Месяц назад

Karyn, once again you have gotten it right. Thank you.

@chrisbullard5901 Месяц назад

Sometimes, it isn’t even a sexless marriage, but a marriage where the woman is more of Tex Avery cartoon character when it comes to affection, or the opposite end, so emotionally distant until you insist on sex and she gets into it, the man is doing all the work to prop up the emotional intimacy, having to play the feminine role on top of the masculine role. That’s not a real marriage, that’s an adoptive parent-child relationship where the woman just becomes an anchor chained to your leg that you have to drag through the mud towards anything better.

@TGP109 24 дня назад

One should NEVER INSIST on sex.

@amadeusjean4019 27 дней назад

Thanks for the time you invest in those videos. I love them

@samhynds5913 Месяц назад

Two years in a sexless relationship. It’s soul crushing to be in a sexless relationship. If I cheated and my wife found out I would look like the monster.

@Billy-the-Kid Месяц назад

Best thing is telling her you need sex, and will look for it if she's not willing to give it anymore.

@OneWingedShark Месяц назад

Here's what you do: tell her "we're having sex tonight, and it will be fun, then if she refuses or "isn't present"/"into it" take her carry her out of your house, shut the door and lock it saying "If *you* are not going to be *here* with me, then you're not going to be _here_ with *me* ." - If you want to rub it in, call the police about some lurker and when they inevitably call on you about the woman claiming to be you wife, look her dead in the eye and say "My wife is a kind, caring and sexy woman, I have no idea who this repulsive woman is."

@OneWingedShark Месяц назад

@@gregorylatta8159 Since you're Christian, then look her dead in the eye and say "I married you, your body belongs to me!" then grab her, carry her to the bedroom and throw her into bed (don't be gentle, but don't go overboard), look down at her (make sure to draw yourself to your full height, and say the next from your gut), then growl out "I said you belong to me." (Basically, act like you don't give a crap about what she wants; it's just a front.) As the video said, women crave drama, but too they sometimes need to be reminded that they, too, have duties.

@TheHillrat4wd Месяц назад

10 plus years, it broke my soul

@cryptojihadi265 Месяц назад

Give her a chance to work on it. But if in another 6 mos there's no improvement or in a year there isn't vast improvement, then divorce her. Don't be that guy that comes back in 18 years and saying you've had a sexless marriage for the last 20 years! She's abandoned you. All she's doing is leaching off of your resources. That hasn't been a marriage for a long time. Bring it up in a matter of fact no nonsense approach. Let her know you mean business and you sure as hell aren't going to beg. If she blows up and tries to blame you for everything, then say good enough. We're done and kick her out. Don't abandon the house to her.

@Chris-hp2gg Месяц назад

You can eat Filet Mignon everyday but sometimes you just want a nice juicy hamburger.😂

@Susan-fg3nv Месяц назад

Exactly. People cheat out of choice

@chucko12 Месяц назад

Since the never empty a jar of pennies analogy goes back over 100 years ( penny in with fun first 18 months, penny out thereafter with fun=you would never empty the jar even over a lifetime of living) and since the Coolidge effect is over 20 times as strong in one particular gender, consider never getting remarried after real life proves to you this is all true.

@Melinamiu007 14 дней назад

No outside person can « break up a family . ». Something is already broken.

@7Logik 28 дней назад

It’s amazing the emphasis put on the man stepping out but not the woman commit g her end of the deal . I think we should stop apologizing for men stepping out …. Feminism has ruined the minds of the modern woman ….

@user-co7vk6et9q 5 дней назад

How can one cheat when he has a wife no longer. There was a woman in my house that looked like her and had the same name. This strange women not only withheld any kind of affection but she also went Adolf Hitler incarnate on me. After a year of doing everything that I could think of to explain that It was really her love that I needed but evrytime I'd give her gifts, pick flowers, write love notes etc she would say, ah all you want is sex. After a year I just disconnected. I was beat down, angry and needed to feel wanted and appreciated. After she found out she actually improved a little then just turned into a kinder gentler form of emasculater and now 24 years later she is still doing it. I really feel that I was justified and I feel no remorse.

@jimsmerbeck4049 Месяц назад

With no-fault divorce legal everywhere, there is NEVER an excuse to cheat. Divorce is brutal on kids, but adultery is worse, especially when that adultery will probably lead to divorce anyway

@melkerner Месяц назад

Most men who cheat, do so to stay in their marriage, Most Women who cheat do so in order to leave their marriage.

@TuerlingsTim Месяц назад

Just stop with providing or helping cleaning etc. Why should the men do what expect for them and the women only consuming and giving nothing. I have experienced this and divorce because not like to life with my “sister” who only free consuming and complaining

@leupinagaspar16 Месяц назад

Very valid and true. Thank you for exposing the facts.

@MrAdippenaar 22 дня назад

Good day Karyn, thank you for your videos. If I may ask a personal question, are you Christian? My wife only follows those that are Christian.

@superdad4094 19 дней назад

My wife as well and it’s a weapon, a shield an excuse and a defense mechanism that they are hiding behind. Will your wife only go to a doctor, dentist, lawyer or any other professional, who must be Christian? Will she only go to or hire an auto mechanic, house painter, seamstress or frequent stores that must be Christian? I bet not. My wife has used Christianity for the past 2.5 years, to place a, “boundary of zero physical contact”, on our marriage, because I decided to stop going to church. That is NOT a boundary, it IS an ultimatum and abuse. It is weaponizing sexual intimacy. 37 years with her……….I’m moving on…………………..

@paulspadafora9503 18 дней назад

To any ladies watching and listening, what say you on the topic of nit having sex and what are the common excuses? Besides blaming your husband for not being romantic.

@user-sy6vq5hb8z 18 дней назад

Sex for some women starts or becomes painful at different seasons of life. Thats one reason we decline sex sometimes. Feeling unattractive is another, not feeling close and connected is one too. We dont always know our bodies the way men do. You all can see something and be ready to go sexually, not so much women. Some many things sex related seems simple and obvious for men. For women its not that way. What it takes for a woman to enjoy the sexual aspects of relationship takes time and effort to uncover. I heard Tim Ross say a lot of women decline sex because they dont like the kind of sex they are having. i was taught or told do it at least once a week, not much else was said that i can remember. I just learned that women often have responsive sexual response. I had no idea what that was or that it applied to me. Ignorance has been a big problem. Even emotional needs being key in the bedroom is something I've just learned. I can say Im not in the mood and really believe that, not realizing that the reason is that we haven't talked for real or connected in a long time. I just learned a lot of women go through menopause and want a divorce. Hormone issues impact sexual interest and function. A lot women dont know wants really wrong. Sometimes women just feel like they want out.

@paulspadafora9503 18 дней назад

When you look at the fact that roughly 70% of divorces are initiated by women it makes sense that after going through Menopause, women (real biological women) would file for divorce. Speaking strictly from a guys perspective, this is a combination of confusing and annoying. Women will say, “All men want is sex”, and then act surprised when men want sex. It’s like not filling up the gas tank in your car and being surprised when you run out of gas. SIDE NOTE, it’s also frustrating because women will complain about men not communicating when they themselves are wildly passive aggressive and almost never communicate directly with men. And as a guy, I truly believe that we are afraid to file for divorce based on zero sex because of how we will be perceived, even though most logical therapists realize the importance of sex in a healthy marriage. @@user-sy6vq5hb8z

@vinceedwards142 Месяц назад

Men cheat cause they're men, years ago with my ex wife she would get mad at me and cut me off for 6 weeks at a time sometimes I never once cheated thought about it but never did looking back maybe I should have

@cryptojihadi265 Месяц назад

You literally contradicted your first statement.

@smokeandmirrors482 28 дней назад

I disagree, one has the right to know if there significant other has had an affair

@gittin_funky 28 дней назад

@smokeandmirrors482 I was surprised she advocated for not telling a partner if you have cheated

@Brody.W Месяц назад

Thanks! For being my biological mother in Christ Jesus of Nazareth. Amen and amen.

@alpinewolf7751 Месяц назад

There are no valid reasons for cheating imo, no matter the gender. Stay and be faithful or break up/divorce.

@ThankYouJesusChrist777 Месяц назад

⁠@@anti-christ.666of course you would say that look at you name. I hope and pray you don’t be deceived and come out of darkness towards the light in the name of Jesus Christ ✝️

@ThankYouJesusChrist777 Месяц назад

@@gregorylatta8159he always does just stay Woke my friend

@cryptojihadi265 Месяц назад

Agreed. Have the stones to be honest about it. If they cut you off. Tell them to get help and work on it or leave.

@charlesmarcusii7440 Месяц назад

Yeah that’s good for ya unless you’re the bread winner. When your the person with the money they will take you to the cleaners.

@bashiruddinahmad408 Месяц назад

I told my wife I will be contesting the divorce she went absolutely ballistic calling me a punk..bitch..why are you hurting me etc I thought she would put hands on me once again..she wants me out of the house homeless I have rights under the California divorce laws regarding property pension spousal support etc..she thought it would be easy..she's the one that wanted the divorce and no sex for 32 months..geesh..she is the high earning spouse

@miguell6862 26 дней назад

Traducir texto con la cámara Nobody in the so-called 'Pillars of Truth' churches touches on this topic. It's a Tabu. It's a shame.

@Brody.W Месяц назад

Thanks! Jesus Christ of Nazareth.

@GeorgeLista Месяц назад

Saving this to watch later but I bet it won’t mention one of the main common complaints I hear in confidence from some 20 years of mediation cases. I’ll be shocked if they mention it. Standby 😅

@censorshipsucks9493 Месяц назад

I've said it before, and I'll say it again. Give use respect, and all three holes, and we will go to the ends of the earth for you.

@thomasdaugherty6671 Месяц назад

4 holes. Quagmire revealed its location on an episode of Family Guy. Don't know which one or season but thanks Quagmire! (Giggity)

@ysy662 28 дней назад

Great podcast. I am one of these dudes... never been jealous of my friend's careers, houses, cars, vacations...only thing I was jealous of was their great or at least good relations with their wives...

@jorger7723 21 день назад

I'm sorry. I wish things would have been different for you..

@ysy662 21 день назад

@@jorger7723 Well it is what it is... I tried to spice up. Recicitate the cadaver...no luck. Few years ago just f'n gave up... and on the market for a FWB. Woman who is in a similar predicament that I am. Who's husband or partner doesn't care.

@jorger7723 21 день назад

@@ysy662 Oh I see. Hearing your background makes me think how difficult marriages can be. I wouldn't want to go through the things you went through. What was your 2nd wife's background?

@ysy662 21 день назад

@@jorger7723 Had only one :)