My mantra is simple: a man loves me, I love them back so well, they act smart and think am stupid, they get surprised to know am ahead in the game. I am a woman with 2 grown kids and this university of 'love' I am doing my PHD. Financially independency is the key girls, wake up, stop depending on men financially and emotionally. I only depend on God almighty, He is the only one I can't do without.
Naturally am unfortunatly such a pride woman... When someone start fading away, i feel it, it hurt my feelings and self respect, and i clear away no matter how hurt i feel. I dont block him to not show i am hurt... I Just moved away, work on myself few weeks, let other men flatted my ego... Listening to RU-vid video about self devlopment... Then forget you and move on.... I always think with brain and never let feelings lie to me. I prefer to die than accept foolishness. Am a Queen
over time, I learnt to listen to my gut and reflecting back the energy you give in....you go silent,,,i go mute, you are kind, iwill be kind, you reply after 2hrs, iwill take awhole day...finally i feel drained and i go numb. Simply stop talking to people who act like they aint listening to you - you own back your power.
@ Clementine Onami thanks for that summary of an advice. Im going through this and Ive started applying this method which works well because I have so much peace now. Its hard but its doable.
I’ve learned to move on without closure or an explanation, ( the hard way )more importantly look at what a man does more than what he says . As women we know when there’s a shift , God gave us intuition for a reason . I usually give a person 24hrs for unanswered texts ( I never call) . Then I delete all contacts and move on . Truth is if the wanted to they will and no amount of “busy” can keep a man away who is truly interested in you.There is plenty of fish in the sea and you deserve more than trying to get a man’s attention whose clearly lost interest ❤.
Exactly 😂😂 i once met a foregnor before he met me he had other girls from my country n neighbouring countries since he is a traveler he met those girls that were giving him a vibe of he is a god to them thought maybe am that girl will chase him around beg him for attention or text him like a thousand times a day . He played like hard to get n i showed him am the master in this i dont worship human beings😂😂😂
Go with someone actions and not words and you will never be wrong in life and if someone shows you they are not interested with you respect yourself enough to walk away.Trust me you will have an easy life🥂
It's true. It's very traumatizing when you get attached to somebody only for them to leave without a word. I learnt through the hard way not to get too attached to someone.
It has happened😏 like it's been 3days and the guy went mute....I can see him active in all apps but he's not even saying hi and the hardest part is to go through your last chat and see that love flow cute moment and nothing went wrong but out of no where he goes silent just like that ....Today being the third day I almost texted him but my self respect is on another level .....all because of Benjamin advices. ...💃 put yourself respect first never let feelings get you to a point of losing your self control
I am here now a year later and this is actually a man that I've dated in the 1980',s. And we've been friends for close to 40 years. And he said he chose me because we have a history and we were doing really well with some occasional disagreements that we agree to disagree. He proceeded me wanting to see him interfering with his job as if I didn't think it was important for him to work which was crazy and that's what he used and this is the second time the first time he went two days without responding and then apologize now this is going on day five or six. And just like the other lady said I can see when he's on social media especially Messenger from Facebook. And the last time we were intimate he cut it short. He denies that is somebody else. I'm trying to get the strength to stop because I've have been texting and calling but I know I have to put a stop to it and I know that men like to chase and I should not have to chase anyone. Our very last conversation prior to him getting upset he was just praising me and in 3 hours later he's not talking to me.
I was like that some years back, concerned if a guy doesn't call or communicate as often but it stopped being much of an issue. I understood that such men are just emotionally immature. And just as you have said, avoid flirtatious chats and i just state from the start that i am only interested in friendship, so that man can make decision after knowing each other well. Plus his actions will just reveal his intentions with time
I once asked myself what I did wrong when somebody just decided to disappear had even been afraid to get attached to people because I hated that version of me following a man to communicate better but learnt the truth about what to pursue and what to run away from after the confusion
When I see this pattern with my clients, I always ask them about their relationship with their father. Most likely, they have daddy issues. The most common issue being an absent father or a dad who sexually molested them. They are used to begging for attention and craving love from someone who doesn't reciprocate the same deep love she has for the one who is supposed to love and protect them. These wounds are deep and that's why It doesn't make sense to you but to me, I see it very clearly and understand why they would continue the same pattern into adulthood. This disfunction is buried deep inside the subconscious mind. It takes a great deal of introspection. When you heal, you don't entertain unrequited love.
Ya make American men look good....Especially when you guys act silly...so in Africa men don't grow up. Ya giggle more than you speak....Women do the same shit, use them so everyone can giggle. Where is the maturity and you raise kids to do the same foolishness. So many of you guys wasn't benefitting living in Africa; so you cone to America with Stupidity and get mad when Trump's ready to send people back home. You need to learn that you can't control like you done in Africa. It's petty to play games....but look for games in return. Than you laugh at each other failure....a women shouldn't make a man grow up
correlation is not causation. i and many women I know who've been through had pleasant childhoods with present dads. Benjamin's analysis is spot on as opposed to your conjecture
I've been experiencing that .. yaa laugh Men but at 1st, me really don't understand then he back out of nowhere unblock me nd the clarification is he's my husband now. Know your worth Queen we not chasing! Straight Up!!
I so needed this,I'm currently on an online dating app and this happened to me twice 😀😀 and I move on swiftly because if his intentions are not clear than you can't make him to communicate and be consistent with his words.
It's ok to do that, last time I did not hear from my boyfriend all day, with good reason I text him and said hey haven't heard from you all day, do we need to talk? Should I assume that I should move on, what's going on? His reply to me was I'm on my way over there. LOL
Thank you soo much, you made me to pick myself and move on,it took me time to understand why he went silent, but after watching this video accept and know very happy with myself.
I loved this show from A to Z very thankful that it came right on time. I have learned a lot from Mr.Benjamin and Bramwell thankyou so much I am going to put this into consideration.
Just asked mine if there is sth we need to talk about because he has been blueticking yet he's online and maybe said 5 things for 2 weeks then I came across this. I'm 22 too and just seeing Zulu reminds me I'm under 25 and supposed to be doing other things. I drop him in peace and thanks for the video
Gosh this is so true... As a woman I feel sooo seen. Especially when describing the emotional rollercoaster on the female side of how it feels attaching to a person and then having to detach when they inexplicably lose interest.
As women,we shud understand very well that u r neva the problem baby Gal.aman that is immature,young,boyish has grown so weirdly will not give u wat u want.so value urself enough n be the queen.dont chase dont ask.just elevate,be great,build ur business.ofcourse if u wanna cry,cry but get up n move the f on
Am still stuck at those kind of men being boyish, immature and insensitive because that's not a real man..... And women be very careful, realize people's intentions
Great topic 👍👍 Also, women are unconsciously nurtured by popular culture to be dependent and assume all men are Alejandro. Common sense was taken out, now add female emotions to that and it becomes a catastrophe. Alejandro syndrome should be a topic in CBC 😂😂 When we pay attention, popular culture targeting women many encourage women to be hopeless romantic Then popular culture targeting men tells them masculinity is being insensitive, having multiple women, money. In summary, popular culture is wired to make sure marriage doesn't start, and if it starts it fails. We need shows like this. Hii show iongezwe CBC 😀👍 NB: Applies to sober people Otherwise we have some bad men and some bad women. Those ones need character hospitals lol.
Very true. It's nurturing hookup culture and babymama and daddy tendencies. Breaking down to the family structure leading to a generation of unstable humans.
Who else is watching this n laughing at every sentence... Ngai fafa... 😂🤣🤣 I can't believe I am tough like a man. I am an explorer, I move on n change my mind so quickly like a man. I don't care how sweet it was n how quickly it ends. As long as am still healthy n young, hutanisumbua n I will find another one even when am with you... Hahahaa
Just recently some ob of mine started calling me and at some point he withdrew. The good thing I never set expectations and when he requested for appointment with me after sometime and never followed it. I turned it down.
Akii tena I can watch this all day,very educative and funny 😄 same time. Must say I hve learned alot. Benjamin is so smart and straight forward, realistic and clear.
I have truly enjoyed this conversation,,, how I wish most people who come to take about relationships are realistic like this gentleman. Actually I have watched this while traveling back home. Loving one woman in a million ways. Wow
My guy went silent when i stood my ground that i'm not going to accept sex before marriage mind you it's something we had discussed i think pretence iligive up akaanza kushow his true self and he was like i promise i will marry you nothing is going to stop me from marrying you!now its 3days.the only heart ache i have is detaching but i'm glad i do not feel used!..my guys nimerudi soko btw😂
I have enjoyed this conversation and learnt a lot really, my guy wasn't consistent In communication, he wasn't spending on me and had a lot of drama, I just walked away.
By the end of the day, a man who fears God. Is always the best. Because he will never let the evil take over his mind to run someone's life because Christ in him is the hope of glory and he keeps going from good to perfect.
Yes, from non verbal cues...some men don't want to be the bearer of the bad news..they just want the girls to break the news to themselves...Being civilized means reading sublimal messages..I don't have to tell you I don't like you (that is being a savage)you are supposed to see it from my reactions...
Ladies, unless he has asked to be with you exclusively verbally ' I want to be with you' and with his actions consistently, don't waste no second hoping. Afterall, before you agree to be with him, ask "what does being with me mean?", lest he think visiting you and sleeping at your place while stopping you from seeing others is it.
This is my current situation, thanks alot. At least I got this video on time. Now I'm just gonna chill, when ever he decides to reply that's his problem I'm done pushing it. The dude just cut off conversation with out a word, we talk like day before yesterday and ended very nicely he even promised to call back the same day before we sleep and he cut of the next day up to now. He's about to get serve💃💃😆
Never put yourself in a position where a man is always right and you are wrong! You have opened the gates of pain and suffering in your life. He will never treat you well because you will never measure up!
I needed this.4years in marriage yet the guy resently just decided to keep calm.no communication at all.Yes he is responsible by paying the bills and all the utilities,bt no communication.He comes bk home,eat,chat and sleep.3 months now, we've not communicated,no sex,no nothing bt we sleep on the same bed. Av now chose peace with me,am not bothered tooo,also keeping my calm.
That's a false calm. You're sweeping the real problem under the carpet and at some point things will collapse. Either mend the crack or prepare to build the wall. That detachment is a communication as well and you're supposed to firmly ask him what he means by it. Marriage is about partnership, not just provision.
@@benjaminzuluglobal the first time the incident happened,I decided to ask him just to know maybe if I wronged him,he simply said no,and went own saying that he loves it when we less communicate,av tried my best bt it seems he loves it this way.We don't communicate totally.bt he communicates with friends and other work mates,bt me no,can this be a Red flag??
U married prematurely and consequently hijacked your mental development. Brain matures at 25 and any romantic involvement before that age is high risk because u don't know yourself and u can't see who you're marrying. That's why u can't recognise stone walling you're calling it 'calm.' That relationship is being choked to death but in your infant mind any silence means peace yet death is creeping in. I suggest u rush to the nearest therapist and begin the journey to discover who you are separate from marriage, the life u want, and how to ask for it.
This type of man wil come bk yrs later after u hve moved on to beg tht u take him back i don't tolerate it block right away it's stil surprising that they still have ur number n call even wen u hve blocked them
Topic is more 🔥🔥🔥I once passed through the same relationship not unless I text he couldn't,,, I moved on after a year,now he is the one texting, sending swt videos ad even calling but I don't care anymore 🤣
You've said it all Mr Zulu👍👍👌👌.....God bless You so much🙏🙏🙏 ...waoooooo ....what a Great interesting topic with such a deep wisdom and explainations. You are just a Pure blessing to this Generation indeed. Those Who have good ears should listen to You.
It's not always that men are immature or what not... sometimes is that the woman has so many red flags beyond what one can tolerate in the long term, and when you tell them they get mad...so the best thing is to detach slowly
Benjamin & Bramwell, could you please do an episode(s) where you address issues related to trust/communication/attachment/self-esteem/fear or otherwise associated with a relationship where one of the two is an adult adoptee? Would love to hear your take on how such a couple can make it work.
hi dear..hope he gives insights on this, am sure he will..... but as wait for that...that person is simply a child in an adult body emotionally.....easy tip to deal with them is develop some emotional reliance on yourself or to another person who is mature enough within your cycle. When dealing with this immature person, use child psychology, treat them exactly you do with a child.
