Exactly, and kids/spouses are just parasites they suck all the energy, time and money out of you. The more people in your life you need to worry about, the more responsibility, and more responsibility = more stress on your life
I'm a millenial. And I swore to myself, as long as I'm not GENUINELY happy and financially secure, I will not have kids. I don't want them to suffer BECAUSE OF ME, like what happened to me with my parents.
SAME. I hated coming back home and seeing my parents stressed out and taking their anger on me. As much as I hate being single, it's better to be that than have a child that would later resent you in the future.
@@Churlz but the positive side is that with or without kids, we break the cycle of perpetual problems being passed down from one generation to the next. That to me is a good thing regardless of how it's done.
Married for 10 years. Divorce graped. Then under the custody lawsuit for 15 years. It was not worth it. If the younger generation is avoiding marriage, then they are smarter than my generation.
Having children is not a duty; it is an option. I'm a childfree man. I work as a teacher, I love children, but I would never have my own children. I'm perfectly happy childfree. I have plenty of time to do everything I want to do and I am rarely stressed.
Same story as me, I'm so peaceful and happy , I would like to have a partner but no kids, my sister had 1 that looks just like me and of which I took care of her through her pregnancy and the first 6 years of my niece life day n night, the feeds, cleaning, bathing, ect routine, like she is my kid anyways, but I discovered as I always knew from young it isn't for me, glad I had that " mother experience " but I found no happiness and no fulfillment from it. I felt sad, depressed and worthless, stuck and miserable, had a very real conversation with my parents about it, I was 27. My parents always said if they had my opportunities and were living in these times they would have never gotten married or had kids, can't blame them, when I look back at the super hardships they and us kids went through.
@@Kim-vs4vb At the end of the day you have to be consistent with your essence. There is a lot of social conditioning that drives us to do things that we don't want to do. But if you can be stronger than that and listen to your inner voice, then you will make the right decisions.
Born 1959 so far from being a millennial but I actually agree with them for once. I decided at the age of 8 I wasn't having children and decided at the age of 22 that I wasn't getting married. Now 63 and still single and childless. Best decisions I ever made.
Yes, I'm Gen X and I did want a husband and kids. So, that's what I did. But I've always understood different humans have different dreams and NEEDS from life. I'm always happy for ppl when they get to live the lives they want. My two Gen Z kids have never wanted their own kids and I'm kind of relieved. (My children also have high functioning autism so they have a few extra challenges in their lives to deal with).
Even as a 32-year old, I have no interest in getting married let alone having kids. The latter two just contain too much drama, expense and responsibility that I simply don't want. I'm happy being single but if the right person came along, then I would consider dating and possibly having a relationship with them. But I draw the line there!
I'm the same. Never dated, never had kids. But I adore my students, I try my best to be a positive influence in their lives, especially in this uncertain time. Yet... I get the occasional woman in my family, it's never the men oddly enough, telling me how selfish I am for not dropping my career of guiding abd nurturing the next generation to focus on creating my own biological kids.
My wife and I we don’t have kids and is pretty awesome. We can wake up late on weekends, stay at home, go out and come home late without been worry about anyone, we do not have to be obligate to become friends with the neighbors that have kids 😂🤣🤣
Good summary. I also think that this generation has seen their parents and their generation doing very badly in marriage, and they then start to figure out in their teenage years that there should be a better way.
Yea, I lived with both my parents.. Might as well not have. Between witnessing my parents divorce while i was 19 and my interactions with women have left me jaded I suppose toward relationships.
so true! My parents had ugly divorce but they loved each other. I told my mom before, I am never getting married. I will have partner in life but not a husband. I eventually meet my husband playing games together. He was my best friend for a while. I never thought I would meet someone who is so compatible with me. We see each other 24/7 both work from home and married for 5 years I still wake up smiling at him. I lived two exs before him and I never wanted to marry them they were just companion.
Yup, I don’t know anyone with happily married parents. We all grew up hearing our parents saying “we can’t afford that because you cost so much! I could’ve followed my dreams but I had kids!” idk why they’re surprised we don’t want kids and some people don’t even want marriage (like me)
I'm 34 and I have seen the way my parents fight and quite frankly, I really don't want to get entangled in that sort of situation. I am the kind of person who would much rather focus on aspects such as career development, travelling the world and just enjoying life. Marriage and kids are definitely not for me. Plus, the world isn't exactly conducive to raising children.
You forgot to include that some millennials have to support their retired parents.. financially and emotionally speaking. Making it even more bothersome to add more variables in the complicated life.
I was born in 1966, I'm hardly a millennial, but I'm a single and childfree woman who doesn't regret my choices to be childfree and single, and I enjoy my peaceful and quiet life!!! No regrets whatsoever!!!
I haven't paid rent in a long time. I do help care for the cats and clean the kitchen but that's it. :/ I've actually been told I try to do too much for the cats but I don't really do anything else...
single is not bad. I have seen my brother and sister in law. having kids is expensive and time consuming. you might raise a kid who doesn't care about you when you are old. if you save the money and time, you can live comfortably in a senior home when you grow old.
I think you forgot to mention the Paradox of Choice: Nowadays it's so easy to get dates and get into relationships that makes it difficult to settle down with one person as we tend to wonder if there was an even better choice / match.
@@GO-cz7cl Just because you're not married doesn't mean you're alone people have friends and family. The benefit of not being married is you have the freedom to do what you want spend more time with friends family and hobbies.
When I think about having children, I immediately get tired. When I look to my sister with only one child, looking much more older than she is, basically living to her child and husband I get sad...Different people, different ways of being happy! Get marry and have children is not an obligation.
Sorry to burst your bubble but zoomers look at the mess that is the millennial generations and are not making the same mistakes. I’m 20 but plan on having lots of kids
@@haltdieklappe7972 nobody's bursting anyone's bubble, you want to have lots of kids? By all means go ahead. Some of us just aren't parents by nature and can't handle that responsibility, but you seem like ready for parenthood. So by all means nobody's stopping you.
I wish I could live like this... I can't justify spending so much of my time doing a job that means nothing to me, then having no time to do the things I love...
1) We can't afford it. 2) We're all toxic, broken messes 3) We've seen too many other people touch the stove: we know it burns! We ALL fall into at least one of these categories. And of course, some of us are brave/dumb enough to go for it anyway....
Nicholas O'Brien there are women that do not feel or wants to be mothers, for example my wife, she never want it to have kids and she was honest from the first time we met, which it was awesome because I told her I didn’t want kids either. We are on our late 30s and we do not feel any regret or we haven’t talk about haven’t kids since we got married. So yes Alyssa you can fight biology 😉
@@4n6wizard Props to you and your wife for being honest with each other from the get-go about not wanting kids. And thanks for that, I read his comment but never replied because I have no reason to respond to trolls on RU-vid. Waste of precious time and energy 😎
I never wanted to be here in the first place, why the hell would i want anyone else to suffer the way i did? Id much rather just stay away from this prism. "I know that feelin' like it's in my family tree"
back in our parents time, graduating from university often means landing a job that keeps you employed for life. nowadays, millennials often work contract jobs and so have a high sense of job insecurity. add to that, an oversupply of degree holders which has diluted the value of degrees (especially liberal arts degrees), student loan debt you mentioned, high housing costs due to speculation in major cities like Vancouver are just some of the reasons.
All this and don't let your parents pressure or bully you into having kids. You do not owe them grandchildren. And having kids because your friends or relatives do is a very bad choice.
Yeah this is very true, what he said. Weddings are expensive, Jobs don't pay enough, Rent is through the roof these days. no joke. Kids are a big resposibility. Yeah the risks of marriage are to big most of the time. My mother got a divorce from my abusive step dad and is now struggling finacially. All because that dickhead took all her savings and spent it on himself.
I don't like lumping myself in the millennial category because there's usually a negative stigma attached, but alas, I am a millennial. #2 definitely applies to me! My health/fitness and music are super integral to my daily life. Might be considered selfish, but I don't want kids eating up all my time/money. I like my "me" time! Always a risk of divorce from marriage. It is a big fear of many. Great video, Conor!
Good for you. It is a 99% chance you’d be the one to initiate divorce. You’re beautiful, men=horny won’t divorce you. But good luck with life. Hey are you in a band?
I have issues getting out and meeting new people anyway. Those I have met in work ect want to play happy familys. I want a stead realtionship and job. I might want children one day but I need someone with life goals like me. I want to kick start my career in the ambulance service. Do a degree. Them emergrate once finding somone.
Your honest is so rare but by what you say even if you had a good man you'd be a terrible mother with all your me time talk good choice for you not to be a mother your definitely not mother material or maternal.
I’m so proud of anyone who admits they cannot afford children and then chooses not to. So many feel they must have children and have a right to have children when they cannot take care of them. This is abusive to the children they have. The world is overpopulated anyway.
I rather just be alone than be unhappy with being married and have kids let alone dealing with divorce and stuff that's gonna destroy my mental health. On top of that my parents were constantly fighting eachother because my dad can't keep being faithful to her. They are still married but not together. So yeah I have no expectations from men since I'm not into them either. People might think oh " it's phase you'll change your mind in years later" I said nope it won't change anything even if I'm getting older. I'm 26 and still figuring how to survive on my own.
I'm 31 and I'd never get married and have children, and I've actively decided that im happier being a bachelor than I've ever been in any relationship. Mgtow for life, in effect. I could explain my issues with modern women, relationships and marriage... But everyone reading this would already know everything I'd say...
Get an African/Asian trad wife, they might scream at you and so on but they don't get triggered and end up caring at the end of the day despite all the drama.
@@hugh2hoob668 i agree. My parents fight argue for stupid things. Like father comes in after cleaning the yard or something chores. My mother just looks and gets mad at him cuz he droping dirt on the floor. He said he clean it up but she makes a bug fuss sbout and whole arguement begins
To everyone, you don't owe anyone an explanation. Live and enjoy your life the way you want to. Never let anyone live your life for you, be happy on your own terms. I want that for all of you.
I personally wanted to get married to my husband but we eloped in a small background ceremony and I hired my dress. It cost us barely anything to do it and we are blissfully happy. I love my married life and the fact that I got to change my last name from Smith to Sywak 😂 As for children we've decided we don't want them, there are a number of different reasons why we have decided this and it took us a long time to actually come to a decision but ultimately we want to own property, grow our own food and start an animal sanctuary. I want to write novels, pursue my creative art and be able to travel on a whim and children just don't come into that vision. I fully respect people who want children though, my best friend is a mum of 2 and she absolutely thrives on it, she was always meant to be a mother.
I strongly support you in your decision to not have any children because I never had any children and I don't want any ever whether now or in the future. But most of my sisters are married and do have children surely that's their personal choice. Also, most of my cousins in fact some of them are even much younger than I am are married and have children and that's entirely and absolutely up to them. Everybody has the right to choose in things such as these. Another thing is having children is not just a game you try and that you get bored of and then you try it again. Having children is a serious matter which will change your life forever and if you are not responsible enough or if you can't take care of them or shall neglect them especially if you cannot afford them at all my recommendation or advice in this case don't have children particularly if they will cause for you grief or suffering.
@@MrUnknownuser164 why are you assuming all lesbians are liberal? Or that even all liberals rely on the government? Also isn’t the point of having a good government is one you can RELY on?
@@Feliciatanktop Obviously there are exceptions. I'm just saying that a big part of the Liberal agenda is increased awareness of the LGBTQ community. Not all Lesbians are Liberal, but a significant part of them are. Also, another part of the Liberal agenda is the increased presence of the State, whether that be through welfare, affirmative action, educational support, etc. For the last point, the role of government is only to be responsible for whatever the individual cannot do, whether that be the national law, declaring war, etc. Social welfare should be the responsibility of the people and not the government.
Children are expensive and a lot of us have had the idea instilled by boomers that we have to go to college and rack up asinine amounts of debt. 4/10 of my friends are over 100-200K in student loan debt.
They paid between 2 and 8 thousand for a bachelor's degree which they could pay off while in college and end up owing literally 25% to 50% of the debt after graduating.
I don't value the concept of marriage; it seems outdated to me. I never wanted kids so I'm happy. I believe the more free you are the more happy you will be. Statistics from child-free people support this.
I would love to have a family. I didn't have one so imagining cooking dinner for them, and cleaning up after them and watching them grow does tug at my heart strings. A happy loving home with a hive of activity and laughter sounds wonderful (even if there's stress, arguing, crying and the other realities that come with kids). However, I'm not a human factory - I'm not going to push out humans to serve the machine of society. When I look at the world, us ordinary folks are just numbers in a database to feed the machine. Human out - work- consume - pay to be alive and then die (which isn't even free because you have to pay tax until your last breathe). Why would I make humans just so I feel loved and then put them out into an ugly world where they will struggle more than I did? This world isn't good enough for my children so I'm not bringing them to this planet.
That is an honorable choice. I decided the same many years ago. Saw the handwriting on the wall and decided this world wasn't good enough to bring a child into it. Maybe I'd feel different if I had been born in another country but western society is an evil and anti human system.
You got all the points. That's why I'm still single. If you ask me i focus on become wealthy person. Finding true love or a wife is my least priority. My siblings have their own family and i am the only one single. I am the youngest. Being single person at age 39, i sometimes got bullied and many unpleasant jokes come the mouth of people around me. They say maybe what i am looking for is man not a woman, don't look for a beautiful girl to marry, you should marry now so when you grow old your wife will take care of you, etc. This never ending question why you are not married i always encountered whenever i meet new people. I hope that people respect single person whatever their reason. I am tired explaining. They just don't understand.
Does anybody not notice the prices of everything is skyhigh? Why would we want to have kids when everything is skyhigh? How do you expect us to raise our children when we have nothing? God this makes me emotional. I think about my cats and I feel terrible because I can't afford their medical bills. Oh and the increase of men killing their girlfriends/ wives or women killing their men? The increase is so bad that it makes me not want to date or even have sex. There are other reasons of course but these are the main reasons
Single childfree life rocks, that's why. I want to continue traveling and really don't have time for the family thing. I can tell you what I WOULD like though, MORE MONEY!
I’m not angry at my parents for bringing me into existence....but I am not having kids. I honestly think bringing someone into existence is the most irresponsible and selfish thing a person can do these days. Honestly...I think half the boomers shouldn’t of had children.....let’s flip a coin....I don’t even care if my folks would’ve been in that half. Would be my problem if I wasn’t here.
Someone will suffer. I will not have kids to spare them the undeniable torment and suffering that will take place in the future. It might not (and hopefully wont) happen during our lifetime, but your kid, or your childs kids will likely face some HARD times. Only a cruel person would place a child into this asylum we call earth.
November 1982. Great parents and family and upbringing in most regards, I was lucky. Never wanted a kid, I knew it. Thank God I stuck to my feelings and was not pressured into it.
I was born in 1957, and I'm a Baby Boomer. I have never been married. I don't have any kids. And I don't regret it one bit. I was raised in a family of eight kids. Six brothers, one sister, and myself. Four of my brothers are mentally handicapped. But sadly, one of them passed away back in July of 2000. I used to babysit my youngest handicapped brother out in the back of my parents' house when I was a teenager. Because of my family life growing up, and what the Catholic Church teaches us about sex, marriage, family, and relationships, I decided not to get married and have kids. I just love my independence and my freedom. I wanted to work and travel instead. I didn't want to come home to a nagging husband and a bunch of noisy kids. Plus, I didn't have to deal with a bunch of crying and colicky babies, changing poopy diapers, temper tantrums, childcare issues, the kids having problems in school where I have to have teacher conferences, and so forth. I don't have patience with children. And I could go to jail for what I'd do to them. Besides my Catholic upbringing and my family life growing up as well, there are way too many divorces in this country; especially if there's children involved. There are way too many custody battles and arguments over visitation rights. And sadly, these kids today are being brought up in a single-parent household. Even if you get divorced, you still have to pay alimony and child support. And if you don't pay, you'll get hauled off to jail right there. Let's face it. Getting married and having kids is not for everybody. In fact, being single and childfree is a gift. After all, St. Paul says that the single person pleases The Lord while the married person pleases the spouse. I just didn't want to be tied down to a husband and kids, and I don't regret this decision one bit at all.
I am 37 years old and since I've been 18 I've been dating, nothing but a complete waste of my f****** time. Every girlfriend I've ever had has lied to me about something been cheated on a few times and to be honest with you I just don't give a f*** about getting married or having kids. The amount of effort that takes to get one date that actually shows up it's just not worth it to me
Everything is costly and expensive especially in a place like Singapore...where the rising cost of living is getting worse each year. So i dont want any of my future kid to suffer and go through all the bullshit i am going through in life now
I might as well die and never existed in the first place...so much better than getting sick and frail and weak in old age...it is bullshit...you are NEVER EVER FREE from the horrible matrix till the day you die...
I'm 42 years old and I've been divorced for 13 years. I definitely have no interest in getting remarried. I spent my 20s seeing about a husband and my child. Now that my daughter is almost an adult, it's my time now. To be able just be free and do what I want.
Generations before us have royally f*** this place up! I don't even want to be here most of the time. I will not inflict that upon a poor, innocent child!
absolutely! Im happy to see comments like this. This world is so F**** up and filled with more bad than good. Why on earth would a sane person want to bring an innocent life into this asylum we call earth? It has to be the cruelest thing to do. My life isnt bad at all, but i realize that earth and its inhabitants have so many issues, that its plain irresponsible to bring a child onto this planet knowing our history, and whats currently going on. Peace and love, and enjoy!
Problem is the third world didn't get the memo, China and India alone are like 3 billion people (funny how 3rd world countries can't stop shitting out more kids).
Married with a vasectomy, no kids ever. Once born the child isnt ours anyways so we'll enjoy this adult playground without babies. 10 yrs relationship, 5 yrs married, it's quite great. She pursued me for a year. My wife definitely married down, but seems quite into it. I was surrounded by divorce as a child.
@Thanos yeah I was in a relationship and didn't flirt with her, but she kept coming around until my previous relationship naturally fizzled out. Still going strong.
Millennial here. People tend to forget the economy is NOT AS FREINDLY AND FLOURISHING as it was as our parents the Baby boomers. Look at the inflation, College debt, Housing market crisis, pandemic every other day issues. A lot of us lost jobs we were working for years to decades during Covid and mentally are tired after the pandemic. Who is really thinking about a family right now? And I am shocked to hear most women want a BILLIONAIRE if that's suppose to be a high standard male. I am someone who lived off a trust fund for almost a decade. I can tell you ALL MEN ARE THE SAME whether you have more money or not. Women want Men who are emotionally available that value them as a woman and not as just an object. That's pretty simple to me.
I live my life for me and pursue what makes me happy and fulfilled. I could care less about getting married and especially having children. Got a vasectomy last year, I don't like the normal life script. I don't see myself fitting into this box..
My German Shepherd is my child, and I couldn't be happier. I find humanity to be one big joke, so it makes much more sense caring for another species I have more respect and admiration for.
Yes, I have a rather low opinion of humanity. Look what they've done to this planet for fk sake. It's irresponsible to bring a child into it unless you have the pieces in place for a human to thrive.
If I’m going to be honest no one females/ or males gain anything from marriage or relationship or sex. I’m actually happy with the age I’m born from cause I don’t need to be forced to marriage or anything. I’d rather make money do what I love and die. Sex, relationships, and marrige is keeping us all from the truth it’s all lust and not really love at all.
My parents had ugly divorce but they loved each other. I told my mom before, I am never getting married. Unless I find someone who I am compatible with I won't marry. I don't need a better husband I just need someone who fits me. It won't be easy. I will have partners in life but not a husband. I eventually meet my husband playing games together. He was my best friend for a while. I never thought I would meet someone who is so compatible with me. We see each other 24/7 both work from home and married for 5 years I still wake up smiling at him. I lived two exs before him and I never wanted to marry them they were just companion.
Divorce was very high in 90s-2000s. This has an effect on children’s view on marriage. Many millennials grew up witnessing “multiple” failed marriages and feminist ideology
Why don't people consider 'lack of desire to have children' as valid reason? Why must it always be framed as "choosing their careers or self development OVER having children" Why can't it just be "Don't have the desire to have kids, which leaves them with more time for self development and career pursuits." We don't owe the world a baby, especially not with overpopulation going on. We are not choosing a career OVER having a baby when there is no initial desire to have a baby.
This is my reason for not having kids. I just don't want them. Never have. That's it. I didn't choose to be child-free SO I could do/have/go but I CAN do/have/go BECAUSE I chose to be child-free.
@@dergluckliche4973 Exactly!! And that should be a valid reason as any other. Choosing not to do something you don't want to do, especially if it can be avoided is as rational as it gets. Yet, with this specific topic people want to twist it.
Right people choose how they want live their lives it’s their life It’s up to them how they want to live it’s nobodies business but theirs. Bringing children in this world, that you have no desire for is selfish.
