Why modern DATING DOESN'T WORK, or: privileges and responsibilities 

Those vibrant Mustangs tend to engage in very selfish and destructive behaviors though. You have to set the tone in a relationship before a marriage. And sometimes make decisions on your own. For example, I decided to invite guy friends over on a night I knew would world without asking my wife. She was a bit surprised but didn’t argue because she knew I would push back, and she goes out with friends too.

@@Amlux1984 Wow, those are some stones you showed there, Jonathan! Have you contacted the US DoD? They could send you over to the front in Ukraine to terrorize the Russians with your awesome Chadness!

@Jonathan Henkels me: "band practice tonight, baby". Its loud through the whole house. She loves it because she knows its my passion. She's a keeper.

It's pretty crazy how much work simply goes into not upsetting women.

You will have a bit of momentary pleasure with that mustang, sure, but you will only get the bounty of fruit with the plow & horse.

Patrice was red pilled before red pill existed...RIP

I knew he was going to name Patrick as soon as he talked about comedians, haha

100%

@@Lokipowerreally? I thought he was going to say Andrew Dice Clay 😂

For real lmao. I haven’t even told my friends about him and I’ve been on him for 3-4 years now?? I’ll say what I’ve learned from him but never told em where I got it

married women are actually the most unhappy demographic and married men are the happiest demographic

Studies have been done that show, single, childless women are the happiest women and married women are the unhappiest lol!

I've read those old studies. Oh, the irony! I do remember several male coworkers telling me to stay single, but I also know several happily married men.

@@johnrambo2876 can you link them? I’m a single childless woman and I genuinely genuinely never want a baby, I would like to read more about my peers

I've found the opposite. Men love being married and remarry more quickly than women. Dating was difficult because every man wanted to get married. I wanted to wait until I was in my 30s and marry the right person. Got it right. My husband and I have been married 20 years. We're both happy.

With all the talk of equality it's really not exactly all that fair is it.

@@darev6780 almost seems like blackmail. You want spouse and children - better sign a contract with 50% chance of total disaster

This. Completely agree. Your spouse leaves you? Better pay for the wonderful experience of her sleeping with another man and your getting dumped.

In Europe you chose the type of goods regimen in case of divorce.

@@Alix-yu8rq, and yet... Our society and family values were far better for it. Women didn't have to marry, so they should've chosen better men to marry. The ones who did, they didn't have to worry about rape, beatings, cheating, etc. We all know a pair of grandparents that stayed together during the time when she was "his property" as you say, and he never once treated her that way. But I'll be damned if she didn't stay right there with him when the times got hard!! 🤷

Having my kids turned against me was the hardest part of divorce. My ex died early but I still can’t reach my kids through the thick fog of her lies.

Here's the plan: get a will made that leaves everything to anyone other than your wife, get it ironclad, go to therapy and get a clean bill of mental health, then off yourself, self-delete, she loses everything and ends up alone, you escape, sadly everyone wins. Looking at the stats, I bet this is happening a LOT more than we think or know.

Horrible

Upper middle class men still get married. Its men with low incomes and no assets who aren’t getting married. There is a lot of data on this.

@@katiez688 I think this depends on country. For example, in the UK around 50% of marriages have gone extinct in the last 50 years, e.g. there used to be 400k marriages/year in the 1970's but now there are only 200k marriages. This extreme drop probably relates to the fact that there is no pre-nup legislation/laws in the UK. I think the marriage extinction rates are a lot slower in the USA (only a 20% drop in the last 30 years) because I believe in the USA richer people can use pre-nups to protect themselves. In countries where there is a culture of pre-nups (e.g. USA) I don't expect the marriage extinction rates to be as severe as the UK (where I am from).

Divorce court wrecks the marriage and whole dating process. The whole time she knows if u dont entertain her ur fucked. U know if u dont entertain her ur fucked. U lose the kids and she's free to date a pedophile, which she would to emotionally cripple the kids so they stay close till she's old and needs her nappy changed. She has no feelings for u past the honeymoon stage ur no different to the car in the drive way in hwr eyes. Have to be on stand 24 7 for her crap and she won't even change the oil rotate the tyres.

Exactly. He could have added to the hypothetic "promotion": ... half salary, and in case you are laid off you'd had to give half the total of salary you earned back to your former company...

What percentage of men have the "enjoy sex at their discretion" option.

Modern feminism has amnesia when it comes to divorce laws. It’s uncanny how such a gigantic inequality is dismissed in their quest for equality.

@@epi2045 Or army draft laws!

And when you're "THAT GUY" for her. perfect in every way. Fit, muscular, successful career, she basically throws herself at you because she knows that's all she has to offer.

The main issue he didn't touch on is traditionally when a man jumped through all the hoops and assumed extra responsibilities that was reciprocated by the woman with her roles as a wife. Now that contract is mostly broken.

Don't forget all the "princess" daughters.

I thought that this goddess stupidity was only in Latin America. All ridiculous women tell to female artisan that they are goddesses so they don't deserve anything but everything they want

My ex got screamed at me on Valentine’s for not getting her anything. I called her entitled and she said how. I said.. if you were single you wouldn’t be acting like this because there would be no one to give you anything… plus you didn’t get me a gift where’s my gift.. the brainwashing is real..

but it is not? not all men just want sex a lot of men want a real connection and relationship. a lot of women just want entertainment and attention from men.

Sex gets boring fast. There needs to be something more that tits between the shoulders.

@@witoldschwenke9492 of course we don't want s3x only. That will have to be on the table but we demand a lot more: cooperation, femininity, modesty and exclusivity. Your qu55y means jack to me if everyone had a piece of it, and I don't even consider myself an above average man.

Pretty much. I’ve come to recognize that even casual dating is more of a headache than it’s worth especially with more “westernized” women . There are times I don’t see any upsides to it

@@witoldschwenke9492 so both of you are either right or wrong...so which is it?

I often wonder how it got this way, were there judges trying to get laid? Or buying women's bullshit?

No benefit ? What about companionship. If someone falls ill, they have someone by their side to take care of them, help with life issues & duties, counsel & friendship. Why it always have to be simply money/security vs sex.

Because a woman is not interested in helping a sick husband. She becomes even more motivated to cheat and monkeybranch, there is no incentive for her to stay

If a woman works and has no kids with you, does she get something after divorce? Afaik she shouldn't.

@@shenell1185 Women do not seem to be offering commitment and companionship in a relationships like they used to. A TikTok video by influencer Mia Khalifa went viral recently with millions of views as she told women to not stick to a marriage if they aren't getting anything out of it. Her message is not the first, and it permeates relationship advice, social media, and entertainment. I was on a dating advice subreddit, and every issue a women brought forth was met with one answer: "leave him" (I tried to speak to the contrary and was promptly banned shortly after). A women is made to feel like she is not obligated to provide companionship; instead, it's only if she feels like it, and committment is provided as it continues to suit her (which is no committment at all). Couple this with the incentives divorce courts gives for women to break marriage agreements, and you will start to see why a lot of men are really not taking taking relationships seriously, and if they are, they are vetting the women much more heavily these days.

reminds me of woman with checklists you realize your just a thing for her

young man, put off dating women, for relationships sake. you will have years later to do that. have fun, focus on you, your goals , then accomplish them then, get a passport see the world & date all the world’s women if you can note! DO NOT impregnate ANY of them. that’s the TRAP card when you lived your life, for you all that’s for you, you will build & then attain. & yes, that includes the women, that will be for you.

work on yourself, carve your own path and women will just come at you

A woman comes into your life NOT you into hers.

That may be because you started dating too young. Don't even think about dating until you're 30. In your twenties focus on building your career and accumulating wealth and work on making yourself a better more attractive person by educating yourself and getting fit. Then when you're in your thirties the women will come to you and you won't have to expend much effort.

You’re not even outside the system even if you’re NOT dealing with women (directly). Just being out in public can be a problem. As you’ll learn the hard way if you dare be happy and single without a woman nearby in the presence of some (unhappy) women. They’ll actively hunt you down and try to hurt you until you’re miserable.

Which brings up another topic. Are we really leaving a legacy today? With social media bombarding kids, the public school indoctrination camps, corrupt colleges etc.

With a history of arranged marriages, is a soulless grind not the norm?

This is my current situation. Working on the exit strategy from the “soulless grind” I currently exist within.

Nobody has privileges in a modern relationship, kid. It's all sharing. Oh, wait... you never liked sharing with the other kids either, did you? ;-)

@@schmetterling4477 How privileged do people feel when you take a break from sharing that attitude with them?

@@jera9654 I can't share "not being an a*hole" with you. You are on your own there. :-)

@@schmetterling4477 You can't share because you ARE the a*hole. 0% interest in the point being discussed, 100% smug condescendtion meant only to make yourself feel superior.

@@fnordiumendures138 Wie man in den Wald hineinruft, so schallt es heraus. ;-)

Men shouldn’t need a “bargaining chip” to do the right thing and be a good father and husband.

@@Sldoficn they should not but they do. This isn’t heaven where everyone is saintly. You have to deal with the harsh reality that people are primarily motivated by self interest. It’s wonderful that we figured out ways to align the self interest of two individuals to the point where they would sacrifice for one another, but that’s not the default starting position. Until you have sussed each other out and vetted each other and made each other prove his/her character and get married, you should not give up the goods, otherwise you will just end up being used. Dating is an adversarial process. You’re entertaining a stranger who could be your worst enemy and try to make them your closest confidant and most trusted partner. If you naively go into that process thinking everyone is good because they should be, you are in for a world of hurt. Also we should not need police, prisons, laws, etc. Either, but we do.

@@truthmatters7573 Ok thanks for that reminder. You are right, wish it wasn’t so but I understand. 👍

Traditionally women cant make their own money. Life was tough for unmarried women. Now they can work, and have kids outside of marriage they dont even want marriage anymore or theyre only getting married when they are old (late 20s to late 30s)

@@Sldoficnand women shouldn’t need some degree of enforcement and accountability to stick to their agreements (even if they’re tough), and be loyal, honest, caring, etc. This is the real world we live in though. And why should a man give, and not receive, any more than a woman should give, and not receive?

They expect betas to do that while they bone alphas after he winked at her in the club

All the privileges and 0 of the responsibilities

@@deansusec8745 Women want the respect of a man, the sympathy of a woman, and the responsibility of a child, or something of similar words.

Women work more than ever. We’re too busy.

and men still expect women to do all the house and care work like back in the 50s! Some things never change

That’s the life of nice guys

And agency without responsibility is sociopathy

So, women have been slaves for about 3000 years. Tomassi wears huuuge blinders.

I remember when I dated some very fit and attractive women in my 20s, they put in an equal amount of effort as I did, and it was effortless. I get to know them, if we liked each other, I'd ask her out, we'd start dating, and she'd put in an effort, and would make sacrifices to be in my life in the same way I would be in hers. Now, that's vanished. Even women my age expect me to do ALL the work and they expect to just be able to sit there. The attitude and delusion is incredible. I only put in the effort according to her SMV, and I expect her to reciprocate, but they don't. Then they wonder why I no longer deal with them, and they sit at home with their cats. The odd thing is that I sometimes spend time with much younger women, and guess what, she's actually willing to put in a lot of effort, much more than the older ones my age.

You are paying for their past mistakes of being too easy going and being walked on by young guys who have no intention of being in a long-term relationship. They overcompensate now that they are dating with more intention. I found dating these women highly insulting and annoying because most don't have much to offer while you are hitting your stride careerwise and super busy. I was jumping through enough hoops at work and didn't want that for my personal life when the payoff just wasn't there. The video is ringing true as I listen. Women in their late 40s and 50s are better in this respect, but they babble on incessantly about nothing and you are supposed to listen.

@@EE12CSVT what percentage of dates do you think women plan? This would be actual dates with the guy's interests taken into consideration rather than brunch with other couples. I wonder how women would answer that question. My guess is they would vastly over-estimate the percentage. I did date one woman that "planned dates" much more often then the rest. I used quotes because I would show up on these dates and be expected to pay every time. Needless to say that relationship didn't last long. I said for 5 or 6 dates and then spent a couple months having sex while I held onto my wallet so I would feel less used.

@@thedalillama These days? Zero, probably. They also love to talk about dates, they like to ask me out. But they never go through with it. It's to just see what sort of guy will agree.

@@EE12CSVT They won't follow through even if you say how much you would appreciate someone doing that for you? That's cold. My mind would be blown if someone planned a date for us at this point. I understand the importance of leading and being decisive very well, but it's exhausting making all the decisions and still caring whether the other person is enjoying themselves. Somewhere along the line it became easier to opt out and go solo.

This is a good point.

Good point, but it’s one of those sad realities that men and women have drifted so far from their respective, traditional gender roles that neither party knows wtf they’re doing or how to navigate a relationship in a healthy, mutually beneficial way. It will naturally lead to fewer long term, healthy relationships (in the West, mostly) which will lead to all sorts of repercussions down the line. The nuclear family is dying, and population sizes will likely decrease drastically over the next 50-100 years (not sure on exact time scale). These are just my opinions. The woman in my life loves me deeply, and I love her, but I don’t think we’re going to be together in any meaningful sense because of all the social engineering out there brainwashing her.

I got to that point immediately, casual sex feels too intimate and I can’t hook up and be done with a girl. It just feels too weird

If your purpose is your partner then you’re either in danger or lucky

lol you’re either a woman or unattractive. He’s not making the point about casual sex. He’s making the point about why modern dating doesn’t work… He said nothing about casual sex. That’s a different topic. He’s talking about what men want out of relationships with women diminishes the more invested they are in that woman… That is true

❤

@collller modern dating is signing up for Netflix for a 30day trial, then making a new account to get another 30 day trial.

@collller You must have a lot of energy! :0

My man can do whatever he wants and calls the shots. If you’re paying for everything you should have the right and privileges to feel like a boss in your house. I feel bad for men at this time. I guess I’m rare but to me love is freedom so I let him roam free and I like being alone so when he’s off on business travels it’s like a little vacation for me not having to be cooking all day every day.

@@shivashakti3824 You're Indian, totally different ball game than what Western men have to put up with.

@@thadtuiol1717 I’m actually Cuban 😁😎💃🏽 Received my name in meditation and that’s how I met my husband who was drawn to the name 🔥🔱☯️

Bruh everything you said I’m going through and we don’t even live together, I don’t know what I’m gunna do when we live together. When she does come over to my place we go everywhere together unless she doesn’t want to go there then we don’t go there… that’s when I have the feeling of dropping her home.

The woman you were with was ridiculous to be that way. My husband gets all the alone time he wants and always comes looking to me to spend time with me. If anything, I tend to crave more alone time than he does. In the beginning of our relationship one of our biggest "arguments" was that I wanted him to go out more. I felt like I was sold a lie. I always heard men need time with their friends. And he never wanted to go anywhere. I wondered how many people blamed me for him never going out. But he always insisted he was happier at home and had no desire to go out anymore. I take good care of him and always did all of the cooking and housework, so I needed a little more alone time. But now I'm used to it since he's worked from home for the past 10 years. I don't know any middle aged women like what you're describing. Was she really young? That level of neediness and needing attention sounds like young girl stuff.

The problem is she has the DNA of too many men.

Uses her?

Haha!

Haha, love it ! If you just want a little sausage, I think that what most men want to give. Sex with no responsibility , fortunately for us (men). The modern feminist promote this to young women to give it for free 👌.

Who said it was little lol 😂

I like that bit.

The analogy is not the best, I think. Why would I buy the cow if I don't know that she can deliver the milk I like? That's a bad bet on my end. But at the same time, it's also true that giving milk for free will certainly not help. Such is a mating dance; it's complex and needs involvement on both sides to figure out if a) they're a good match, and b) the privileges are there, should they commit.

You’re in the same spot as a lot of women. Most have come to the conclusion that men are not confused to do with traditional women, they simply (like most) will go with what’s easier. Interested to see the response to your questions.

@@naturallyme3 what is meant by "traditional woman"? Often it may mean withholding sex or using it as a weapon/negotiating tactic perhaps? Means the woman doesn't enjoy sex (sexually repressed, may be due to trauma) and just sees/uses it as a way to gain power over her partner, which most men will disdain because it kills all joy of being in a (loving) relationship. OR, it may mean a woman who lacks ambition, isn't financially independent, and wants to be provided for... Which, considering this video (privileges and responsibilities) will further turn off men because it offloads even more responsibility over us. I would finance my child, but I consider my partner (an adult woman) to be able to provide for herself and our children as well even if I'm not in the picture. Hence she needs to have a job too (to provide for our children) and not insist on being a housewife. I may die tomorrow, or become permanently incapacitated - how is my wife, who's never had a job in her life and has been a housewife for 10 years - going to provide for my children? Asking for donations? Marry someone else? Considering how vilified single mothers are in the current climate... Probably won't happen. So, as a failsafe, she needs to work, and ideally be self-driven to work and be passionate about a career or some worldly calling. I'd take an ambitious medical doctor woman over a hippie "law of attraction" trad wife woman any time. We can't have BOTH feminism/gender equality AND traditional gender roles (provider men, housewife women) etc. Those clash. And as ironic as it seems, feminism has raised men's standards as well. If we're equal, and we are, I want her to work as well (provide resources for our offspring), because that's what a good parent (mother) does.

Modern dating doesn't just mean hook-up culture or sliding into someone's DMs. It represents a sea change in the way that men and women interact with each other, and what each has come to expect from a relationship. For better or worse, it's permeated nearly all forms of dating and probably isn't going anywhere any time soon. In today's day and age, the best way to date "old school" is to date within established, values-driven communities. This could mean a religious community (e.g., church, temple, sangha, faith-based activity groups), or a tightly-knit ethnic community (e.g., campus organizations, expat/immigrant communities, cultural groups). Basically, the key is for other people to know you and know what you're up to. Bad behavior of all kinds thrives in anonymity. The second question is a bit complicated, and can't really be answered in a comment. You might want to consider sponsoring an episode on the subject. It's a good one.

@@psychacks Great questions and insightful answers. Your tip to date "within established, values-driven communities" makes a lot of sense to me. This is actually a notch better than focusing on groups that one has something in common with in respect to interests/hobbies/mutual values. I concur, the communities you mentioned indicate even deeper values that reflect on the character of the individuals engaging there and are useful for relationships as a base.

@@psychacks well said!!

Was it direct and to the point? People are too afraid of being honest with what they want, so they act uninterested to attract the other person. Its becoming harder to understand.

@@AZrakoon Relationships are there to last till the end. It's not there for fun, I believe. Love is pure. It's unconditional. If people don't get the meaning of it, it is better they don't say they love someone.

@@Dora-wc8be people will leave relationships for any small thing, instead of seeing the good too. Communication is so important to make sure everyone's needs are being met.

@@AZrakoon Taking a step back is a part of personal growth. Generally there is a lot of true value in taking a step back, it allows us to see things with a greater perspective, greater clarity and internal calm.

yes, "want me? put a ring on it!" comes to mind. go there and it's the beginning of the end.

It's almost like the role of men is to provide and protect. Crazy

It's even more interesting when you think of taming a horse is to break him. It seems so against nature.

Give him some of the best sex you can ever give him and be enthusiastic about it too🔥 men love that. Also it is very underrated but be his rock and shield when times get tough, and men will love you forever. Be open and honest about everything, no matter how much it hurts. Say he performs badly in bed, tell him about it, but gently.

If men want a family then we are entitled to all his assets.

@@cheekymonkeygirl3378 hashtag; prenup

@@cheekymonkeygirl3378 Adoption or surrogacy/maid/personal assistance/and such, seem like far preferable options than you.

Communicate well and take good care of his needs. That does not mean silently assume what his needs are. Talk about them, fulfill them, get feedback. Rinse and repeat. Voila, a great relationship.

Nice example.

"He was a Marine when we met, I was still in high school." Today, the simple fact that you were still in highschool, would have people up in arms about age gaps, calling your husband a creep, a groomer, a possible pedophile.

@@TheNynax Meeting and mating are two different things 😉

Great story! I agree. We met in our mid 20s, both broke. We built our world together. Now my husband is a 7 figure man. We've lived in 4 states together. I moved for his career and I'd do it again. And I agree living away from family sadly was a huge help. Families can be very meddling. It's important for a couple to build their life together and not under scrutiny and opinions of family. Plus no family gatherings taking away time that he spent career building or relaxing and recharging.

I think of being single as an adventure now. Just trying to get down the latter parts. Hoping that things will be better in the next few months. 🩷✨️

absolutely

Similar thing happened to me. I won't let that happen again either!

Это очень печально

In some cases, it's that. In many cases, it's social pressure and the threat of losing a woman if he doesn't.

Linda, you only now know the half of it of how bad we men are treated just fornoursuit of female relations.

Oh by the way, that deep desire, etc. Stuff you just mentioned is totally meaningless unless the woman offers cleaning the home, and cooking, and amazing sex, helping with finance and stuff, etc. Like the video said men are dis incentivized to further a relationship because of what we ARE NOT grtting from women.

Trust me, stability is the one thing that women DO NOT bring into a man's home lol.

I think men are actually way more romantic and way more likely to believe in "true love forever" and way less let's-sleep-with-all-the-women oriented than society gives men credit for.

discovered that at 27...now im free!

You’d think, but a lot of men want to chase and hunt and “conquer” women, like in the movies

Chance, getting these broads to return a text and meet is quite the chase and avoiding them when they're broke or horny is quite the hunt (for them). It's not that different from dating now.

@@ChanceBerryman lol lies 😂

Here in aistin the going rate online is between 200-700 for regular rrliable cooch.

A recent bigger component has been the rise of alternative media combined with major fall from grace of the mainstream media. In particular how obviously biased in favor of women they are. Now that men have a chance to inform themselves on the true dynamics that are playing out today men are starting to stop simp so much. Still a lot of thirsty guys though time will tell which way we go

Modern women can divorce you, take half your stuff and stop you seeing your kids at any moment they choose. If you want to live with the sword of Damocles hanging over you, have at it.

As an adult child of divorce and one who co-parented my children, I can fairly say that everyone suffers in this scenario

@@laurenduvall8547 but was your co parent situation civil? mom and dad get along and the child knows/sees it?

@@bibbityboppityboo1206 well, there are always exceptions, but are we going to claim that the thing we are biologically wired to do is a waste of time for most people? There is also the factor of who cares for you in your old age (who is not paid to do it)

@@momotheelder7124 I personally dont like this answer. Having children so you have someone to care for you in old age seems to me like the wrong reason to have children, but that is just me.

Wrong. He was only speaking of modern dating in western style cultures. Its not "relationshios tend to" on anything.

@@PolishBehemoth He never mentioned anything about "Western Style cultures" or the comparison with eastern countries. Moreover he spoke about being men being deinsentivized to form relationships due to tendencies in dating which would seem to be quite along the lines of my comment. So we can just agree to disagree.

And then you had more kids with other women!? Why?

What was everything you valued? Clearly not her. Imagine giving birth to a man's son and being treated that way

@@chrishnah If she valued him, he would not feel miserable in the first place.

@@weaksupremacy3799how is his happiness her main responsibility

Me too! Women ask why I am not married and I ask what is in it for me? The only thing they can come up with is love and kids. When I point at the I can have love and kids without marriage, they can’t respond. They’ve never once provided a retort, because there is none. There is no benefit to a man getting married today

Marriage is of No Benefit to a woman either. Especially one without kids. Nope.

@@tonyc8752 I had a friend in NYC who wanted to go the route of kids without husband. I was like ohhh nooo.... You really can't imagine how hard it is to do even in a stable marriage.

You might ask your self why a woman would to have your children. She'll probably give you same answer

Even more if you don't want kids lol

And THERE it is! ;)

As if it's the sole responsibility of men. This is where everyone is going wrong.

There is nothing to deepen. Men were just forced to tolerate their psychological games & drama, listen to their BS and dance to their whims and fancies. Why would anyone want to do that?😂

Youre right. But youre missing huge parts of information. Like americas hyper left wing feminist fascination that a man has to weaken himself when with a woman. We are told as men by society to not be dominant. We are told to treat other men like women (transgender) which totally messes with our psyche. We are told to not make moves on attractive women in any situation (gillete commercial).

Yes! Amen! I entered my man’s life and just make his life easier, far more pleasant. A woman should be an asset, not a liability!!!

@@PolishBehemoth ​ fuck whoever’s telling this shit, at the end of the day, a man has to be a man. It sounds like these “tellers” just want to weaken men in general because weak men means easy conquering …. At the end of the day a real woman wants a real man. Men by nature are dominant, as long as they are respectful, kind etc it shouldn’t be a problem. Ideally good men would dominate over bad men so we can all go in a better direction as a society. You have to actually be even stronger with a woman instead of weaker and you have to make moves on attractive woman if you ever want a chance at having that.

@@shivashakti3824 I have some questions for you because I feel I just tried to do that and it did not work out. I lived entirely on my guy’s terms and entered his world. (My family and friends live across the country). He would tell me when and when not to speak though which was the start of me feeling it was a bit too controlling and demeaning. I realized I also needed him to be able to listen to my emotions once in a while and not fix them - just be present for 5 minutes or so to feel like he cared. He couldn’t do this. Do you find your man listens to you emotionally? Or does he stonewall you and act like you’re an annoyance? Does he tell you to not speak and just shut up and smile? I wanted to make him happy but also could not keep all of my personality and emotions repressed? I’m not a huge talker either nor a very emotional person 🤷🏻‍♀️

@@sarahstevenson8155 I’m extremely lucky. He does listen emotionally. Sounds like your ex wasn’t emotionally available for you. If he loves you he cares what you think and feel. As long as the timing is right, in private etc.

That sounds fair and it’s great that you have these attitudes toward your partner and the relationship. But I think you might be a unicorn. I experienced exactly the opposite in every committed relationship I have entered into, including a 20 year marriage. The more committed I became the fewer benefits and freedoms were allotted to me. I’m not blaming the women because I allowed it to happen, but it seemed that every woman wanted to go in that direction. I have learned to avoid commitment in order to maintain my freedoms and benefits.

Then, for you, TubnRN, sex is not weaponized, or employed as a bait and switch tactic...

That's really great but very atypical. Bravo to you for bucking the trend.

I would really like to know how your partner enjoyed LESS responsibilities the more committed he was..not saying you lying...but sounds like lies.

This is an unusually good situation, and should be more common. Hats off to you for understanding men's needs and desires!