How to KEEP YOUR COOL with women: the sandwich strategy 

Learning how to keep your cool when women become difficult or provocative is an emotional survival strategy. Failing to master this skill is an invitation to hardship and regret. The strategy is simple: no matter what woman you're dealing with, and no matter what a woman tells you, to the extent that she becomes emotional, you need to mentally create a verbal sandwich around her words. I'll demonstrate what this looks like in today's episode. Book a paid consultation: oriontarabanpsyd.com/consultations Join my mailing list: oriontarabanpsyd.com/ Social Media Facebook: facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090053889622 LinkedIn: www.linkedin.com/in/orion-taraban-070b45168/ Instagram: instagram.com/psyc.hacks Twitter: twitter.com/oriontaraban Orion's Theme: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-WrXBzQ2HDEQ.html Thinking of going to grad school? Check out STELLAR, my top-rated GRE self-study program based on the world's only empirically-validated test prep system. Use the code "PSYCH" for 10% off all membership plans: stellargre.com. Become a Stellar affiliate and earn a 10% commission for every membership purchased by a new student you conduct into the program: stellargre.tapfiliate.com. GRE Bites: www.youtube.com/@grebites4993 Become a Psychonaut and join PsycHack's member community: ru-vid.com/show-UCSduXBjCHkLoo_y9ss2xzXwjoin Sound mixing/editing by: valntinomusic.com Presented by Orion Taraban, Psy.D. PsycHacks provides viewers with a brief, thought-provoking video several days a week on a variety of psychological topics, inspired by his clinical practice. The intention is for the core idea contained within each video to inspire viewers to see something about themselves or their world in a slightly different light. The ultimate mission of the channel is to reduce the amount of unnecessary suffering in the world. #psychology #relationship #women

Adding the "I feel" and "right now" to the beginning and end of a woman's negative statements towards you is a great suggestion. Adding the "I feel" and "right now" to the beginning and end of a woman's positive statements towards you is a fugging genius level suggestion and brutal dose of reality when you do it. Brilliant episode.

I wish I knew this 10 years ago. Young millennials and Gen Z don't know how lucky they are hearing this type of practical information before they make any costly lifelong mistakes.

My girl got mad watching your video because what you say is exactly on point

You can buy her a house, car and lifestyle but you can never buy her loyalty. Always be on your toes men

Putting her positives in the sandwich reminds you that your relationship is permanently temporary.

Married man for decades with children here. Listen up folks, he is absolutely right!!!

The part where you said, "I'm not responsible for someone else's emotions " is golden. But coping with their emotions is exhausting. It's easier to change them out routinely so that this behavior doesnt keep repeating itself. I dont need to be emotionally abused just because she feels a certain way. It is not okay to start shit just because they have emotions.

Can we give this man a round of applause for him showing us a major wife hack. That was a real eye opener I needed because I instantly jump to defensive mode but I’m going to try this because it seems so much more peaceful.

With women everything is for right now. This is why Masculine Indifference is always required to deal with their ever-changing emotional states.

When women say "I love you" and want the man to say it back, men often hesitate, because they feel it's a huge, permanent statement that is not to be made lightly. Meanwhile women just meant it in a temporary sense of "in this moment" and are shocked that men can't say it, even though they clearly are enjoying the moment... ahaha, oh man, what a revelation!

Jesus man this is 12 minutes of *solid* *gold*. ESPECIALLY the end, don’t just do this to negative statements, do it to the positive ones also, to keep your ego in check. This video is priceless

This is really a more detailed and eloquent version of 'Regard women as grown children, in their emotional responses'. And of course, holds just as true.

ahhh crap...I needed this 2 hours ago...the damage is already done😂😂

"I feel like you're the father of my baby right now."

Smart AF. Thanks for sharing this technique. I work with men in The Netherlands who lead a men’s workshop teaching men how to disarm feminine drama (25 different destructive patterns). This technique for keeping your cool could be a nice adding. I’ll show them the episode.

Your words have been Gold over the recent years! Thank you 🤝

I feel, "for better, for worse, for richer, for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death do us part", right now.

Something to remember: if she's still capable of getting upset, she still cares. Her passion may be temporarily misguided, but at least the spark is still there. Some woman need the full spectrum of highs and lows to feel alive. They'll create drama when the waters are too calm. They'll poke you with a stick just to hear your growl, to know you still care.

Outstanding video. A big mistake I have made in life is thinking the words from a woman were absolutes - being told I was the best man she had ever been with meant I had achieved something permanent, when it was just a temporary and passing moment of elation. Thanks for this video.

This made me laugh out loud. I turn 33 this November and have been with the same woman for nearly 12 years now. Not once has this concept been more clearly and concisely explained to me. This immediately clicked in my head. Great information. Next time I have some cash to spare I will be sending it your way. Much appreciated.

The “sandwich” treatment applied to the positive statements is absolute GOLD. I’ve had to learn the hard way that many times what a woman says is only true in the moment.

My friend was the master of not getting defensive ...he would laugh and tell her " I know you're trying to get me to lose my cool."

I just downloaded this video. I've set alarms and other reminders to ensure I'll watch this once a week for an entire year. Wow... Thank you.

this is the power of the internet, married 40 years and have lived and breathed everything this man said. I have been educated thank you sir

You said in 12 minutes what takes years to comprehend through experience , On point !

I thought the sandwich strategy was .." go make me a sandwich". Lol

20 year old here. I found this so valuable. You have enlightened me. As you said, my responses to her "hurtful" and "untrue" statements were defensive, and i sometimes take everything she says in the moment of anger at face value, which have negatively affected my relationship. I used to be so hurt, after thinking all my efforts were in vain when she says things like, I dont love her. She had told me many times, she didnt mean the things she said when she was angry. Eventhough I too knew this in my brain, my heart couldnt catch up and I'd take long time to recover from the hurt. I didnt know every female were like this and it wasnt just me who was suffering until I saw the comment section of the video. We men make the mistake of using logic to counter the emotional behaviours of woman which is a losing game. Cannot thank you enough, sir. You sir, have saved my relationship. May god bless you ❤️

I’m fairly natural and keeping my cool (very aware of my emotional response) Every girl I’ve dated that says “you don’t love me” or “you hate me” in a dispute I tell them to come here kindly, after some hesitation they usually come close. I always just wrapped them in my arms (after opening them to them so they know I want them close) and talked to them tell them they know I love them and some subtle soothing shshsh’s like I would a younger child (because they are usually emotional at this point) as it is comforting. And then we talk as I hold them as they feel comfortable and safe.

I honestly don't care if it is, "I feel" or not. The fact she can't calibrate her words to the person she is speaking to is telling me she is too childish and immature and it is time to step away. Edit: if it keeps happening.

Easy. Always be emotionally capable of letting her go if she wants you to change something fundamental about yourself and your dreams. I’ve experienced both sides of this. When you set boundaries and stay calm when they test you, maintaining the moral high ground, they know you aren’t naive. They will respect you. Then they can decide if they want to change themselves to stay with you or find another guy. Whether they stay or walk, you win by not losing yourself.

I've had a theory this is why women never shut up about how "vulnerability is strength". Yeah. Your choosing to be vulnerable for them is their strength.

Funny how my girlfriend once literally said: You must be guilty because of the way you react, innocent people stay calm. After which I researched that, and actually the opposite is true. In fact someone who is lying or guilty will most likely remain calm, and think about what to say and how to handle the situation in stead of going into the defense. I then explained this to her after which we had a huge fight about it 😂.

Every young man needs to hear this. I learned all this the hard way.

I’m 51 now and a lot more stoic in the face of a female emotionally charged situation. Actually, I’m no longer dealing with it. I just use one word and then don’t say anything else. That word is, “Noted”. Then I go and spend my time doing something for me. My partner is either complimentary to my life or not. She has the choice to leave.

It is great that psychologists are recognizing and validating Patrice'a O'Neils ideas. I just wish he were credited more for the brilliance he had with no academic training in psychological study.

I sense an amount of wisdom coming from this video that I never sensed before in my life.

Since women's emotions are like the weather in Louisiana (if you don't like it, wait 15 minutes...it will change), this helps prevent getting swept up WITH her. Don't get too low, *OR* too high.

"I feel I love you 'right now'.." LMAO

The easiest way yo not have an argument is, don't have an argument. Your advice absolutely helps one rearrange the tantrum into something that can be sorted.

Man I wish I was wiser in my early 20s. This is such a simple way to view women and their words

This is the definition of cleverness. The fact that you can change your perspective of things by adding words to a statement is brilliant. I'm defenetly doing this in my next relationship

If a woman says that nonsense to me I'm skating. I don't care enough to parse their BS and play mental games in order to be able to tolerate childish behavior and manipulation. This is why I love the first 3 to 6 months of the relationship. I'm getting all the good stuff without any of this manipulative nonsense. When the nonsense starts, my attention is directed elsewhere. Audios muchacha.

You know what I just found your channel today and you have no idea how much I needed to hear these things right now. They literally could not have come at a better time. Thank you.

You son of a GENIUS! I definitely could've used this in my last relationship. I wanted it too work, eagerly and through the work I've been doing on myself I realized I was trying to fix issues in the wrong address and at the wrong moments. Not to mention addressing her statements with more logic than emotional support and empathy

Fantastic... How many men have heard you're the greatest "blah" ever from a woman only to be in trouble an hour later. Women feel and change like the weather in WI..

Adding The sandwich to a positive statement is genius. Doc just dismantled, cracked, resolved the heartbreaking mystery of every men walked on earth.

He's 100% correct. I started using this mental stratagem 3 years into my relationship, and was significantly calmer during disputes. While she's flying off the handle, I stay present and focus on self-regulation vs her accusations or harsh remarks.

This is GOLD. Nicely done.

Best thing I've ever learned about women is that they need drama and they feel uncomfortable with long periods of peace..Therefore, they'll purposely do things to start arguments or try to get under your skin. Someone who is committed to being offended by or arguing with you is going to find a way regardless of what strategy you ploy. You can't completely ignore them but you definitely don't want to get emotionally riled up in these situations. If you do, it's essentially reinforcing/rewarding bad behavior.

My mum asked me if I stole her diamond rings a few years ago. I said I didn’t steal them without being defensive. ‘Well where are they then?’ ‘I have no idea’ After telling EVERYONE that I had stolen them, a few weeks later she found them. She had forgotten where she had hidden them. Then she had the gall to say ‘you could’ve tried harder to reassure me that you hadn’t taken them’. I don’t talk to her anymore.

You are entirely correct, Doc. It took me 45 years as a man to understand this. I wish every young man understood this concept. It will save them lots of headaches in their relationships.

37 year old man right here and I gotta say thank you for sharing this with us. In 12 minutes I think you just solved my biggest issue in a relationship! I’ll keep this jewel 💎 with me forever!

As a linguistics erudite, I relish your command of the English language. Truly refreshing.

Truer words were never spoken about women!

This man is a genius and deserves all the success he is getting and more! Thanks for the great content!

Good sir! It took me 25yrs to understand and apply to my life. I salute you for breaking it down so simply.

Those who understand women never argue with them.

I had heard a very similar advice a few years ago but simpler, and honestly it amazed me the way it worked so well. I was told to just say "I understand you feel" + repeat what she says, and 9 out of 10 times she will calm down. Women's brains are fascinating, in the same way worms' or flies' are.

I wish I knew this 20 years ago. My gosh, so many times I felt the need to explain when truthfully it's just a confessional statement. This makes complete sense. Appreciate this channel

Brilliant. I especially acknowledge the point you make about not being responsible for the emotions of another person. That’s incredibly true and when practised I find creates an expectation of responsibility of self in both parties.

Don't ever argue with a women. Just tell it how it is. Dealing with women is the same as dealing with 12 year Olds.

I always by default used to counter using facts and used to wonder why it never worked even though the facts were on my side. This clears up a lot of confusion. Thanks a lot!

This is pure gold! Thanks again, Sir!

This is pure gold. Subscribed!

Thanks. Just went through a similar exchange with an 83 old lady 'friend' and I am 87 - so, life goes on - no matter what else happens. Good advice,

When I got divorced after 13.5 years together, my ex constantly attacked me like that. She said that I never loved her, and never cared for her - even though my depression and self-cancellation fed her narcissism during the entire relationship. I wish I've seen your videos two years ago. Thank you for this.

Dude this was gold. Subscribed!

Amazing content. I needed this 15 years ago.

If you constantly have to manage her emotions with "tactics" just leave and go find an adult woman because she is a child. Life is short gentleman don't waste it. Don't be afraid of being alone.

Just from the title, the image of the Gordon Ramsay idiot sandwich meme popped into my head. That probably wouldn't be a great strategy.

SHEEESH life changing. Reframing what they say is a game changer

There is a deeper spiritual meaning in this technique. It reminds us, that almost every thoughts and emotions, specially the intensive ones, are shortlived and temporary, So we shouldnt take them too serisously. Thanks for that !

Saving men from traps with every upload.

“I feel” like that is some of the best advice I have ever heard regarding women and relationships “right now” 🙂. Thanks for sharing this.

One of the best episodes yet !

In a gist , listen, repeat back what she says , don’t say more than you need to. Love the simplicity in this .

Putting your future at the mercy of the fickle whims of a woman, is one of the most foolish things a man can do. If regret & disappointment are your goals, this is how you get them. Do yourself a favor, learn from the mistakes of those who have been there and done that. Risk management should always be the centerpiece of any relationship with women.

Wow... give this man a Nobel!!!

Thank you doc Orion! Amazing information! Cheers!

Thank you, Dr. Taraban. This video just gave me a lightbulb moment, I can see this being an effective strategy in the face of accusations. I wish I knew this years ago, would have prevented so much heartbreak. Thank you for all that you do, please keep up the good work 🙏

ALSO, anything a woman says to you in a positive light, add “right now” at the end of it. 🤯

I know for certain your wisdom will positively impact my interaction with women moving forward. In the past I gave reasons and explanations to an emotionally-charged woman. Not knowing I was validating what she felt in the moment. Now I am fully aware that doing so is like adding fuel to a fire. More accurate reflection instead. Thank you!

Spot on Short and sweet Sound concepts shared, appreciate the video!

You sir, are God sent! I've been at the receiving end of so many illogical verbal beatings from my partner to the point of me thinking I'm going crazy. No matter how much I would try to plead my case with obvious facts, I ended up more guilty than ever before. What you just shared is the ultimate cheat code, I can't wait to try it out!

This episode is pure 24k gold. I’m glad people (me included) are reviving this wisdom. Thanks a lot!

It shows you how many women are so emotionally minded. You can see how he adds "I feel" and "right now" in order for us to understand female behavior. It's all about the feelz and the immediate situation. Somewhat akin to children. Emotion always rears it's head first due to coming on automatically by itself but rational thoughtful reasoning normally requires work in a though process and takes time, intelligence and self control.

I literally watched this 3 times and will continue to replay this video and practice this technique. Amazing video.

This channel is worth gold!

“Confession of her emotional state” Prepend “I feel” to the start of her confessions of her emotional state. And append “right now” to the end. What a revelation and game changer. Reminds me of Patrice O’Neal.

This is possibly the most useful tool I've heard shared in any of your videos I've come across. Thank you

This is gold. This simple technique could have made me a better listener and saved my relationship. Hope I remember it for the next one.

Great advice! I'll keep that in mind. What's frustrating is she might say these things, not because she feels that way but because it gives her the edge in an argument - especially if she knows she's in the wrong.

HAHAHAHAHA!!! Reflection, is hilarious. The British Comedian, Benny Hill (RIP), used to do comedy skits on "reflection." He'd dress up as a middle aged woman, wearing a whig, doing dishes in the kitchen being interviewed by some off-screen voice. BH, in drag, would say to the camera, "I love doing dishes with Happy Spring Dish Soap." The off screen voice would say, ...you love doing dishes with Happy Spring Soap? "Yes, and it smells so wonderful." It smells so wonderful. "Yes, and it's easy on my hands and it makes my skin feel so good!" ...your skin is nice and you like that? "Yes, I'm so happy I feel good washing dishes with Happy Spring Soap." ...and you're happy. "Yes, and when the dishes are done, I can move on to something else." ...so you can move on to the next thing? "Yes, .... this skit never stopped! 🤣

Possibly the most valuable episode you've put out and that's saying something.

That all sounds so right, and so helpful. I'm so often guilty of falling into that defensive trap. Thanks again for your insights.

You rock sir! Thanks for your time and content.

This is awesome, you can just simply say, "interesting." One of my biggest boundaries with my women is, they are never allowed to say "I love you" to me. They find it hard at first but after some time they learn to adapt to "I adore it when..." Keeps me in pace with them and lets them feel like they are setting the stage. Reality I'm paying attention to their actions.

Orion. This is one of your best episodes. Thank you

The best episode yet.