Why My Family Still Doesn't Do Sleepovers 

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Truth!

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Some black parents too!

My mum wdnt even let us play inside other pples houses 😩😩😩 but I understand now... & will apply the same to my children

Epic - so true - preach it - these guys have no idea what filtering the world will do

Yes so true omg

But how many friends do you survey to see if they all had sleepovers? Correlation does not equal causation. Children sexually abused are far more likely to act out than those “deprived” of sleeping at a friends house.

@@FieldTrippers I'm not saying I can prove anything. I know what I'm saying is anecdotal. But I really don't know anyone who was harmed by going to a sleepover. I'm sure that abuse does happen at sleepovers sometimes, and that's really horrible, but I feel like it's a lot rarer than this video makes it sound. Abuse can happen anywhere, and it's often friends or family members that are the abusers! If you don't want your child to ever go anywhere they might get hurt, you'd have to lock them in a padded room alone. As for being exposed to things, they are going to find out about things like porn somehow anyway. Probably at school. I certainly wasn't exposed to porn or alcohol at sleepovers. My point wasn't really about sleepovers in specific, though, but about this overly strict style of parenting in general. My parents are sensible and of course looked after me. But they also let me do things and have some freedom. I never felt a need to rebel because I never had loads of unnecessary rules. Strict parents make sneaky kids. Most kids/teens are gonna do stuff their parents don't want them to anyway. Kids/teens with parents like this are gonna be too scared to come to their parents if they ever need help or advice.

Millie as I parent I say that it’s not the fact that I’m trying to make sure my child doesn’t do crazy stuff or rebel when they are older. At that point they are adults and can make their own choices. It’s about protecting them when they’re still children.

Exactly. There no need to prohibit fun times as long as parents are aware of what is happening and rely on the guests...

You have to understand this guy's a freakshow.

AmeliaKC173 many don’t have the same outcome . It is in fact a risk we’re taking .

literally the person you trust most can be a predator you cant always just judge these situations

Me too. I slept over at someone’s house almost every weekend growing up. I had a lot of friends. Luckily I was never abused and every parent was very nice. Now that I have children I will only let them do sleepovers at their grandparents once in a blue moon. Just because I got lucky, doesn’t mean they will.

Agreed. I slept over at my best friend's house a lot and it was great. My parents knew her parents very well, we went to the same church, and it was safe. At the same time, I do worry a lot about the fact that sometimes abusers hide in plain sight, and someone you thought you could trust might actually be grooming/abusing your child and you might not know it. Scares me, man.

It’s not that simple. What you think you observe in the light of day doesn’t have anything to do with what someone’s brother, uncle, dad or other random person in the home might do when the lights go out.

All the sleepovers I had as a kid were wonderful! But all the friends I stayed with had great families and they didn't expose me to anything bad. I didn't sleep over that often, either. I can only really think of around 7 different girls I slept over with growing up. Maybe the difference was that despite being of mostly western heritage, we were raised in Asia?

"I was a good kid" like that has anything to do with avoiding being sexually abused??

@@parker.100 please calm down.

Sandra GM I am sorry for what you had to endure beloved sister. As a young boy I was sexually assaulted (attempted) by an older neighborhood boy 3 years my senior (I was 6-7). He came from what seemed the picture perfect family. As a child you have no idea what is going on but know it is not right. We moved from that house in Michigan to Florida and I never told anyone... 11 years later I was walking on a beach boardwalk with my mother casually talking... Suddenly my attention was forward and coming from the opposite direction was that boy now a man and as his eyes looked up and he saw me there was a moment of instant recognition...I felt rage start a fire in my heart and he quickly looked to the ground in shame and walked past me with his head hung low...I kept walking too for I had at that moment forgiven him and actually felt sorry for him for that weight of sin’s shame that attached to his soul...he was probably abused himself...God bless you and I agree. Parents need to protect their children and listen to the Lord vs the world.

Very true but it’s the people we allow in our circle that are usually the perpetrators, not the “strangers” we once thought . In the end children are easily manipulated even if we teach them . Keep them home , keep them safe , that means be careful who we bring into our home as well !

I’m sorry you were hurt. Why not do both? That’s what I do with my children. I teach them safety at home and then never put them in a situation where they are literally at the mercy of another family and can’t leave.

TaigaNatsuki EXACTLY! DO BOTH!! DONT SHOOT THE DICE WITH YOUR CHILDREN’S EMOTIONAL, PHYSICAL AND PSYCHOLOGICAL WELL BEING!

@@TaigaNatsuki my point is you cannot protect them from everything. I'm not saying you shouldn't be careful with whom your kids have contact, I'm saying this approach is too simplistic and naive. Parents trust their children to other family members, teachers, coaches, sunday school teachers, and doctors. In all these cases kids are at mercy of someone other than their parents. So yes, minimize the chance of something bad happening but I don't blame it on sleepovers

Yep my mom was the same way, and my aunt let my cousin sleep over at anyone’s house and unfortunately I feel she has been abused as a child.

I remember being invited to my friend's birthday slumber party when I was 8 along with all the girls in my class, and my parents allowed me to go to the party in the afternoon but forbade me from sleeping overnight. I didn't understand why, but my mom told me it would be overstepping the boundaries to sleep over at someone else's house even though I was invited, because my parents did not know my friend's parents very well. My mom told me it would be rude of me to stay overnight because I would be an inconvenience for my friend's parents the next day 🤣 my mom also did not hesitate to tell me how worried she would be just knowing I was not sleeping at home where she knew I was safe. "What if something happened to you while you were there? It would be even more of an inconvenience for the hosts if you were in some sort of trouble if anything happened to you at their house" she also told me 🤣 well that totally made sense. I didn't want to worry my mom, or be an inconvenience to the hosts. So I stayed and played a couple hours and immediately left. I didn't remember the birthday party until this video, and I agree 100% that really, anything can happen to a child if they slept over at a friend's house. We really don't know what people are truly capable of doing.

I think part of the point this video is trying to make, is that the wings need to be prepared before that flight. I think l understand the point you're trying to make - about balancing pros and cons, but this video is articulating they felt the cons (risk) outweighed the pros (fun). Anxiety isn't 'popular', it's a clinically diagnosed condition. It may seem more pervasive as the stigma of mental health slowly dissipates and people become more comfortable disclosing they have it. But I'd argue that l didn't hear anxiety here, just considered parenting.

@@ah8043, Thank you for sharing. Very articulate response. I am sending love and hugs from Washington State, USA, Jeanne of In Loving Hands Counseling and ASMR

This is exactly how I feel. Kids are going to do what they are going to do. you can either try to control their every action, or you can have a conversation with them and equip them with the tools to make the right choices for themselves. If you want to outright ban sleepovers, that's your right as a parent. But you are doing your child a disservice if you just say "because that's the rule" rather than talking to them about why you've made that rule.

Exactly

That’s where I knew this guy never fully thought through the experiences that children gain from sleep overs

Kids get molested and raped at sleepovers. Pervert parents, pervert relatives (both evil), friends who may not have bad intentions and want to experiment

Thank you for this comment! Adults often take kids' understanding for granted and undermine their awareness of their envoirnment. Yes, kids are often naïve due to lack of experience, but a good parent should explain to the child the _how's_ and _why's_ of the rules they're expected to follow. It's like beating a child when they've done something bad, and not telling them why you beat them. How do you think that stuff reflects on the child?

That was YOUR experience. Doesn't mean it happens to several others. I had sleepovers at friends' houses when I was younger, and their parents never had bottles of alcohol lying around. Nor did they leave the TV remote out in the open for my friend and I to be tempted to watch a program we weren't supposed to. Responsible parents aren't going to let their children sleep over at a friend's house if they aren't familiar with who his/her parents are first.

Just because it happened to him doesn't mean it will happen to your child. ALSO, just because it didn't happen to you, doesn't mean it won't happen to your child. Some parents don't think it is worth the risk.

Thing is - we allow and pay for abortion all 9 months . And we are stupid to let that happen .

Rawk4Life - the plea from that person for awareness and caution. Discernment and awareness. &! Responsibility. To show our kids we truly love and care about them and their friends.

Bruce Courtney - yes. I was 13 ? First exposure to a penthouse magazine. Eye catcher. Hid the centerfold picture. Heart racing . Not good. Got cleansed. Repulsed. But I made it to my wedding at 24 years old as a male virgin. I was proud of that because I love Jesus. I work as a construction electrician every day . Have to keep my eyes in my head regarding playboy pictures on others tool boxes. Run home to play with my wife and enjoy my kids . Use wise discernment and joy with my kids We play - plant gardens- build rabbit cages- raise chickens for eggs and meat. Kids work with me . Learn safe electrical wiring & how to drive a truck. How to be friendly & cheerful and respect people properly. Jesus Christ loves to sit with kids and love them . He loves big adult kids. He loves us to conduct ourselves well so others get to be Happy and safe and loved. I love Rudolph the red nosed rein deer story ! I Ham it up with my kids - and play with my kids to be sure they are loved. Not scared. My dad tAught me the same way . His dad did too . God loves happy dads.

Exactly! Plus it seems like a cop out to having hard conversations with your kids and teaching them to set boundaries and rise above peer pressure. Also parents could easily make sure that they have a relationship with the parents or even be strict about whose allowed to sleepover.

Exactly!!! All I’m hearing this guy say is “by just saying ‘no’, we don’t have to explain it.” Man up and explain it!! You cannot let your kids be naive!!! My parents let me stay over at a select few friends house. There were rules. I was never to be alone with a man or boy. Ever. Why? Because it’s inappropriate for a 4 y/o to be alone with a guy who is not her dad. They had to know the parents well. Also, APPROPRIATE conversations about private body parts and how to confidently say “NO!” And CALL MOM IMMEDIATELY if you don’t feel comfortable were conversations we had at a very young age. We knew the rules. We trusted the rules because our parents put them in place for our safety. And we respected the rules because WE WANTED TO BE ALLOWED TO CONTINUE SLEEP OVERS. You can’t lock your kids up because you don’t want to have difficult conversations with them. Grow up.

@@MarieReederPianist , I am all for being open and honest with children. I think Reality Orientation is the way to go. How old are You? Do you realise that your child could be drugged and raped by a predator with so called date rape drugs during a sleepover? And that your child would not be able to call Mommy for help? And do you realise that Mommy would feel really bad for the rest of her life because she made a choice to allow her child to attend a sleepover and did not protect her child from a predator pretending to be a nice person hosting a sleepover for children. Add to that the guilt of knowing that Mommy made the choice to let her child go to the sleepover because: * Mommy had so many wonderful memories of sleepovers as a child. ( This is a form of living vicariously through child. Assuming that the only way her child can be happy is to recreate this sleepover experience for her child.) * Mommy thinks her child should learn from experience * Mommy trusts her child to call her if there is a problem * Mommy has total confidence in her ability to spot a predator * Mommy has total trust in the sleepover host family * Mommy believes the sleepover host family will supervise her child at sleepover related party event And keep child safe from predators( at drive in, park, skate rink, restaurant, movies, etc.) * Mommy believes child can defend themselves from a predator child * Mommy believes child can defend themselves from a predator adult * Mommy believes that no predatory teenagers or sexually abused foster kids who are acting out sexually will be present. * Mommy believes all other children in attendance are healthy and well adjusted and have not been sexually abused and will not act out on her child * Mommy trusts that the sleepover host family will not have visitors during sleepover * Mommy believes the host Mommy's boyfriend is a good guy *Mommy believes sexual abuse is rare and happens to OTHER PEOPLE'S CHILDREN * Mommy believes she can trust child not to engage in people pleasing behaviors and to go along with sexual abuse ( Trauma responce: Fawn ) * Mommy believes she can trust her child to stand up to abuser ( Trauma responce : Fight ) * Mommy believes she can trust her child not to shut down in fear during abuse ( Trauma responce: Freeze ) * Mommy believes she can trust her child not to disassociate during sexual abuse ( Trauma responce: Flight ) * Mommy believes satistically most children are abused by their own family members. * Mommy believes she can trust that the host family won't have drugs or Alochol or firearms present and accessible to children * Mommy believes she can trust the sleepover host family to have her child's best interest at heart * Mommy believes she deserves a break from her children and sleepovers are free childcare * Mommy is willing to take a risk and gamble her child's health and safety during the time they are away at the sleepover * Mommy believes all of this even after reading the comments section of this video * Mommy disregards testimonies that don't fit with her narritave of " sleepovers are safe" * Mommy believes sexual abuse and exploitation of children happens to PEOPLE"S Children Mommy needs to WAKE UP. Mommy is believing myths about child sexual abuse that help protect predators and perpetuate abuse of children. Grown women and adult males have been found to be unable to physically protect themselves from predators and Psychopaths at times. Yet Mommy trusts her child can protect themselves from aggressive abusers. WAKE UP Mommy before you have to spend hours on a therapist's couch analysing what happened to your child at a sleepover because of your own overconfidence. WAKE UP MOMMY and STAY WOKE. If you want to take the risk at least know the vectors you are dealing with and make sure your risk is a calculated well thought out one. I sincerely hope that your gamble pays off. It's no fun being a statistic or watching your own child become one.

Jeanne Standley-Kinata Dude. My mom was raped. And it wasn’t at a sleep over. It was by her step-dad. For multiple years. In her own bed. Yeah. My mom knew how to spot predators.

I always had sleepovers, since I was 4. But, this is kinda special cause this was a family my parents knew since 10 years before with was born. My point being, be careful, and if you're really uncomfortable, find alternatives, that might give somewhat of an experience. For example, go camping, but have the friends sleep in the same tent.

Michele Moneywell tell them 🙏

I felt the same way growing up when my parents wouldn't allow me to go to sleepovers (although I did also semi-understand my parents' reasoning too). I always thought my "friend group" would have accepted me more if I'd been able to go to sleepovers and have that extra time with them... But as an adult, I've realized that those people were never going to accept me no matter how much time I spent with them. So I guess I didn't miss out on too much after all 😂

What do you think you missed in those sleepovers that you couldn't do during the day? I'm asking genuinely not to belittle you...

Don't worry, I had plenty of sleepovers without any of these negative experiences and I still can't connect with females.

NevesaroIsAngry I was going to comment the same thing 😑

Your mom's saying is very wise

Ohhh, I need to remember that saying! So wise!

My mom always said this too! She said it in Spanish, “el diablo NUNCA duerme.”

This creeps me out

That’s a good line

Same, only are allowed cousins since we see each other once a year

Same with my Haitian parents

Why?

African from Congo. What you say is so true!

Not just Africans, black.

Solomon Davidson I understand what you're saying about bringing children from troubled homes into your own. That's definitely a positive thing. However, what if one of your children had failed to discern whether an adult was trustworthy or not? The truth is, they wouldn't have known until the adult did something untrustworthy. I am happy to hear your children never experienced that, but they easily could have. This is a totally different era as far as connectivity, porn and culture, so even if there is no predator, kids can still be exposed unwittingly. My daughter was once watching a tutorial on how to make a tornado with plastic bottles and RU-vid set Asian porn to come on after. This is with it in safe mode. Fortunately, I caught it because I don't let her watch YT alone, but the same couldn't be said for a sleepover.

Totally captured the essence of wisdom here. Well said.

@@mrsclevermoniker "They easily could have"? How easy are we talking here? Where are you getting this information? What are the statistics? Don't conflate the possibility of something happening with the likelihood of something happening.

@@chrisparker8539 Weird pervert comment.

Chris Parker Better to be safe than sorry! Better to act prudently and use wisdom regarding your precious children who cannot possibly defend themselves, than a seemingly worldly-style intellectual attitude with a 'C'est la vie' attitude. When its too late that attitude cannot and will not mend things. Children are not objects that can be replaced so we cannot treat them like we do a piece of property that's insured against that damage if somebody touched it who shouldn't! Adults who won't do their utmost to keep their children safe when they know full well they need protection, shouldn't bother having them. After all, many perverts are so-called respectable and professional people. I'd say to adults- take no chances with the safety of a child. Its the very least a child needs and rightly deserves, imho.

Same with a lot of Latinos. My parents never allowed me to go to a sleepover

So true. We never even slept over at family. Caribbean moms don't play.

Exactly, I was just about to comment this!

sedsa097 more than one of my sexual abusers were family. So you are right to not trust anyone in this way. Even family. My own mother’s brother!

My mum's reply was... you have your own bed to sleep in 😁. My children only 'sleepover' at their godparnets home and 9/10 I'm with them.

Thank you so much for sharing all this, especially with your professional background and what you know from that. My husband and I have always had this same gut feeling, that we won’t allow sleepovers for our 5 kids under 8 years old, but I think we were wondering at what age we might be more open to it. But now I realize I can stand firm and confident that we don’t ever have to allow it. and I think that this level of protection over our kids is worth it. And I am also relieved to find supporting evidence that I don’t even have to feel bad or guilty about not allowing our kids to sleepover at their cousins’ house (without us). Thank you for explaining why you know it is so dangerous, I will copy and paste your words, along with this video, and hold on to them whenever I need to defend our family decision. Thank you so much!! ❤️

Jeanne Standley-Kinata 💖💖💖

Thanks for the input. This is so true.

Thank you as a professional who hears the horror stories of adults who were introduced to drugs, alcohol, pornography or s*xually abused while over at a friend's or relatives house. You can educate parents and say that is a very bad idea because these things can happen. Thank you and God bless you and your family.

Thank you for the detail in your comment. Your words won't go in vain

You make some very valid points.

I respect your decision and what you feel comfortable with. For me, I personally don’t see how a sleepover fellowship would be much more necessary than a daytime or nighttime fellowship time together, so I would make decision to not allow that kind of risk. But I don’t think there is a right answer, every family will have different boundaries! :)

i value this comment a lot. i think it’s important to let your kids be exposed to what the real world is. you can’t shelter them forever.

jay63811 Yes, I did, and regardless of whether they were good or bad for me, personally, my kids’ potential thrill at the fun that could be had with friends is not worth the risk of any one of them being preyed upon or exposed to anything inappropriate that will have serious consequences on their innocence. Just my own risk calculation.

@@AN-jw2oe Just from my personal experience, some sleepovers we just ate a bunch of junk food and giggled about silly things. But as I got into high school and had sleepovers only with close trustworthy friends, something about the late hours made us feel more open to sharing with each other about our real worries, questions about the future, struggles in our faith, etc. It built up my friendships a lot and we had a lot of great conversations that probably wouldn't have happened without sleepovers. That being said I totally respect your choice, just wanted to share my thoughts.

God be with you and your family 🙏 keep praying loving and trusting God!

Your situation reminds me of a couple books I read. "How to get your prayers answered" and "the number one way to fight the devil", both by Dr. Norvel Hayes. They're only a couple dollars or one dollar in the Kindle store, and they are very quick reads, maybe an hour each. I feel like, as a born again Christian, victory ought to be yours, and not defeat. Perhaps this crisis could turn out to be an opportunity for faith. God bless you friend.

The best thing you could do for your daughter is to let her go. Release her to the LORD. HE will have His way with her. We can’t force our kids to love the Lord. Sometimes some of us need to hit a rock bottom in order for the Lord to get our attention. Your daughter needs unconditional love. Boundaries, discipline. Release her to the Lord and Let Him break her. It’s the only way.

GABRIEL RIVEROS what a difficult time it must’ve been for you because children naturally you follow the world Pore guilt upon you and sadly a lot of parents give into this, I can’t remember what passage in the Bible but it’s something like in the end times children will rule over their parents. I see this more and more and more. The discipline for children is almost nonexistent in a lot of places unfortunately we live in a time of technology and you feel as a child my friends have got it why can’t I have it my heart pours for you because one day she will understand. I can remember getting disciplined time and time again and my parents saying one day you understand I’m doing this because I love you which was totally foreign to me until I reached for mature adult hood when I realized what they were saying was absolutely true. I probably don’t need to say this to you but pray and put your trust in Jesus and I really hope your daughter comes back, teenage years are the most difficult first you have puberty then rebellion which I think we have all done in some form. I cannot imagine the pain and hard work you’ve had to go through but put it to Jesus and may something change in your daughters mind. My love to you and your daughter and may you find a connection and peace, I came to realize that peace far outweighs happiness because peace can last a lot longer where his happiness can be very fleeting, i’ve seen people buy a new car can’t stop talking about it how great it is and then after some time it seems to lose its sheen. That is a whole the only Jesus can fill Never the material. Thank you for reading this to the end

You taught her everything you can she’s will come back, continue to pray for and love she will come back when she’s ready

Sounds like a good idea, thank you for sharing

Same here, though I wasn't that poor, I lived with an easily angered step-father, and sleep overs were a form to distress and expand my family (through friendship). There seems to be many situation in which sleep overs are beneficial, but I think, and I believe that you'll agree, that sleep overs are only beneficial for certain types of kids. There are really nice kids out there, but you will be surprised at how many nasty kids and teenagers there are out there. Who will do anything they'd like as soon as the cat is out of the room. I think that if a parent is ever going to allow their kid to sleep over, he or she should first get to know their kid's friend REALLY well. But in my case, I was very mature for my age which enabled me to take better decisions without consulting my parents, yes it did not always pay off, afterall I was a kid. But for the most part it was great. I do understand though the parents that would rather be safe than take a risk.

then for you it was positive, thats good

yeah but what if you got molested

We didnt have much money, I was told we were poor but for me as a kid I was too busy playing with neighborhood kids and having adventures. My best friend had a TV, we didnt get one until I was in high school, that was a black and white set..lol

Did we miss the part where the above person said you needed to know the friend and family really well? Step 1: have a relationship with your child where they feel comfortable talking to you about anything, especially problems. Step 2: Dig into who they are hanging around and base decisions off of that. This will make the chances of a bad rare scenario taking place, almost non existent. If your child really knows their friend, I think they'd know if something was happening to them from either their parents or elsewhere in their family.. Is there ever a 0% chance of your child not being molested? No. Is there ever a 0% chance that a plane will fail after take off and fall from the sky? No. Is there a 0% chance of becoming paralyzed from some sort of rough housing with friends? ...or even just walking someplace? No... An awkward push or slip could permanently injure or kill someone in a certain circumstance... What if you got rear ended in your car... would your child have a 0% chance of dying? Should you still allow your child in the car with you? You can never fully cut out the risks involved in living a life.. but you can remove any sort of enjoyment or meaningful interactions from it..

Onlyperfect WhenHecomes I had sexual experiences on sleepovers with my best friend .She and l developed a crush on eachother . My Mom didnt mind us sharing a bed cos were girls .We werent allowed hoys on sleepovers .

Onlyperfect WhenHecomes You have to let your kds express themselves .

Onlyperfect WhenHecomes We were just fooling around .exploring eachothers sexuallity .

Onlyperfect WhenHecomes Well ..thats your right ..as a parent .l understand that .It was just a girl thing .We were not allowed boys on sleepover .

Onlyperfect WhenHecomes My Mother wouldnt approve if she had known either id say ..but we were never caught ..She didnt mind us sharing a bed as we were girls and best friends .We were curious about sex and our developing bodies .always comparing eachothers .to see how our boobs were growing etc. And practicing kissing .lol and in bed the hormones took over l guess .and we went all the way .We started at 13 or so for a few years on and off . It was quite intense .We learned a lot .

Sabria Ramirez yep! I only ever stayed overnight at my families homes, cousin, aunts, uncles etc. Like my mom told me “why do you need friends, you have cousins?” And honestly it’s probably a much better experience for kids. You get to be away from your home but still with people who truly love and care about your welfare more than any friend could.

I agree

Same. Parents always just made sure they knew the parents and no boys allowed lol

We live in a very different world today. Not even sending your child for a sleepover to a Christian family is safe anymore sadly.

@@louiseleite3866 we really don't, same world

That’s why I wasn’t allowed to sleepover or hang out at a friend’s house.

Zaltanayepamedanahuel Anasazihototodoliluyubodaway I’m so sorry about that. My cousins never showed me that but I will keep that in mind in the future.

@Zaltanayepamedanahuel Anasazihototodoliluyubodaway First time i saw porn was at around 7-8 years old in school

Mxlanin Subs even cousins and blood relatives could be sexually abusive or expose children to wrong practices. Sleepovers are simply not advisable.

Be careful of even cousins dear ... my aunt let her 19 nephew sleep over her house and he sexually assaulted her 11 year old daughter which is his own blood cousin and his father abused me when I was 5 ... so yeah even “family” cannot be trusted period.

I have been abused by cousins and other family as well. Definitely don’t let cousins be an exception.

Yes brother I agree community and friendship is a safe blessing in obedience to the Lord's guidence

Thank you for sharing. Though is there any reason these activities cannot be done during the day? What benefit is gained in the overnight aspect?

Alexa Polk Good question, which I really can’t answer. What comes to mind is a sort of metaphor (however terrible metaphor but sort of makes sense😂) which is: Why do some like their coffee with three packets of sugar, some with two, others with one, and others with none? Maybe for some it’s a more intimate and special experience to sleep in at someone elses house (sort of like how retreats may also be done overnight as well) while for others they prefer to just go out during the day and be at the comfort of their own home at night. But, if i had to give my opinion as an answer, I immediately think of the difference between a hotel and our houses. We have our homes, but staying over at a hotel is a much different experience, of which for some might be pleasurable and memorable, while for others it might just be a necessity for travel. My opinion being that going out with friends and having a sleepover at their house, or them at mine, are two different feelings. In my opinion, you can go out with friends all the time, but having them invite you over to stay the night at their house, or vise versa, is a more deep and memorable experience, and in my opinion, builds a stronger and unique relationship with someone, for you may go out with any friend, but you don’t just stay at any friend’s house. It requires trust between both of you and both families, and thus may bear growth and further trust in the friendship the Lord has provided you. In my case, I always considered my brothers in Christ/from another mother, as my brothers, ever since we passed that line of just simple “friendship”. But, ever since our first sleepover, my view on this brotherhood has strengthened, and has always brought me to thank the Lord for blessing me with the brothers I never thought I would have! In summary of my opinion: Indeed and offcourse all these may be done during the day, but for some, the night counts as well and means much more than just “sleep”. For some, it marks the day and night as “different” from the rest. Good day/afternoon/night to you, God bless!!!

Alexa Polk is there a reason you feel the need to poke and prod this guy’s positive testimony other than legalism that you seem to be trapped in?

I thought I would chime in-as the body of Christ-we should avail ourselves to help those in need. Not, all Christians have family support and if God-fearing household can offer that to a child or children the opportunity to be in their homes have the light of Christ furnished in their young hearts... Then that family and or those adults are assisting in a child or children's salvation. There are single parents and others who need assistance and do not have the privilege of support, even family. Every one circumstances is different and we must remember that no all have the opportunity to reject sleepovers...

Amen! Wise father.

Hello sorry if this has been asked before but what if the situations are like exchange years, studying abroad or overnight fieldtrips? Thank you.

👏👏👏

yes, my kids 3,4, 7 and i have a hard time coaching them in using their child-like imagination to make up games and play because they're so use to sitting on youtube and watching other kids play.

Are you a fan or a follower?? 😂😂you made my day 😅😁👌🏾

This is very important- I am 18 years old now and even tho I didn’t have a phone younger I still had access online. I WISH I DIDNT, because let’s just say my innocence has long disappeared too quick and my regret is immeasurable. As a horny young teen you don’t think twice when a fast click and search can show you anything you want. If I have kids they DEFINITELY will have tighter regulations then I had. Don’t be a “friend” to your kids and they’ll thank you one day!!

I agree. Kids can be molested just playing at another kids house. It doesn’t have to be at night! The biggest issue these days is innocence getting taken away due to unbridled internet access. I will allow my kids to sleep over with families I trust, but they won’t be allowed to play at the home of any family that doesn’t have proper safeguards set up on their WiFi

I want to somehow restrict my kids when it comes to phones and internet until I can explain to them they have to be very careful on it and why that is important. I literally want to tell them there are things there not even adults should see and some bad people want even kids to see these things, so they should be very careful. But they have to be old enough to understand that. When I was 13 I didn't know there was porn on the internet, but I found out on accident. I was just trying to find a way to watch movies for free. And now there are even inappropriate challenges going around and kids don't even know how inappropriate they are.

Truth

That's so sad. Something like that happened to me. You told the parents of the girl? What did they say?

CandyCandy - yeah I did call the mother immediately and she brushed it off by saying something like, we all did that sort of stuff when we were younger. I was gob smacked. At the time my daughter was in PRIMARY school. That little girl never slept over again and we didn’t let my daughter hang out with her anymore.

Mine too - but I would say that parents should only allow it if they themselves have been friends with your friend's parents, and known them long enough to trust them. My parents never said anything it out rightly to me, but I believe that was the principle they operated on.

Hannodb1961 , I came from a horribly disfunctional home life. Sleepovers were my only exposure to somewhat normal families. I stayed over at my friend's houses as much as possible. I am thankful for their parents letting me come over and stay since it was a reprieve from the chaos of my home.

Oh - I'm sorry to hear that. Yes, from that perspective, I can clearly see the benefits of sleep overs.

Your childhood probably didn't include R and X rated possibilities of film and internet, I assume? I kept my daughter away from really bad movies, only to have her see, at a sleepover, a movie that haunted her for years. I was so bummed. The movie was The Devil's Advocate with Al Pacino. Bummer

Annie Burns - I saw Frankenstein as a kid.! Bad dreams . Scary!

Same we had some great times.

Nothing evil happenent TO YOU at those particular events. That doesnt mean others weren't harmed or that other kids were harmed on a different night or at a different friends. So many bad things happen that people dont talk about

I experienced tons of bad things at sleepovers. I'm glad nothing bad happened to you!!! Seriously!

Abusers often have families and hide in plain sight and people are often shocked when they are caught. It would be very silly for a parent to think they could detect all abusers just by "knowing" them. Very dangerous to give other people unfettered access to their children at night when everyone else is asleep and no one can help them.

You should be thankful that the experience was positive. Not everyone else went home in one piece.

Bad logic

Might as well give em drugs and prostitutes, sleepover or not. See what I did there?

I strongly agree, sister.

...Why are you having a sleepover when we're still supposed to be social distancing?

@@Sunbeargirl- I'm in New Zealand. Social distancing is ancient news.

@@DoctorSkillz Ah, of course! If only other countries would follow suit...

😯

Dr. Skillz that was such a badass reply

Abusers often have families and hide in plain sight and people are shocked when they are caught. Not giving people access to your children at night doesn't mean your children can't lead a full and fun life. Just because terrible things can happen anywhere doesn't mean you go along with some of the riskiest situations.

My sleepovers were before my parents or my friend’s parents had VCRs and 24-hour TV. We never watched movies at sleepovers-just played games. And my friend’s parents were basically good, responsible parents. I thank God that I was never abused, that the idea of abuse was unknown to me in my own community (if it happened, I was unaware of it); I occasionally heard about it on TV.

Exactly, what little girl didn’t watch grease and dream of having a sleepover. So they steal a cigarette or pass around a bottle of 6% proof alcoh-pop. Anyways most CSA survivors were groomed by a close family friend, a religious leader, a camp counselor, a coach etc. How small do you keep your child’s social network in order to protect them?

@@tyturner7110 I think young children can socialize with parental supervision and be taught about behaviors that aren't appropriate. You can never 100% guarantee it won't happen to your child, but if the parents are present and really know who their kids are with (as opposed to knowing of them) it's a lot less likely. For example, if my kids aren't with me, they're with people I know and trust. Even then they still aren't alone with any individual if that can be prevented. I have a hard and fast rule also that no older children should be helping my child in the bathroom or being alone with him. I have some family members who were sexually abused and I keep an eye on all interactions with them because of the increased risk of a victim becoming a perpetrator. My church required at least 2 adults per class regardless of class size to minimize the likelihood of accusations. All of our teachers are background checked also. Before quarantine, I would watch my son in taekwondo class rather than drop him off. He will be homeschooled but will have opportunities to meet and spend time with other children. Of course as he gets older he will have opportunities to not have mommy by his side or within sight and sound. But I hope to prepare him for that. He has been trained that he isn't to touch private areas on other people and other people aren't allowed to touch his (we've discussed Drs and the few people who may need to help in the bathroom). He is allowed to say no (even to me) if any touch makes him uncomfortable, including hugs. He is also to ask before hugging people and if someone says no then that means no. Really, anything could still happen. But I will do everything I can to educate and prepare them for the world. I know I can't just keep them under my wing for life.

Regarding your points 3) and 4), sleepovers with the same sex and the same age is ABSOLUTELY NO guarantee that nothing sexual will happen, especially today, when every public school child from a young age has been told and shown about such things.

Same

Brenden Palmer Yes and amen

Shanea Hudspeth my mom was the same way

Yes he does.....he told me so.

Why would he feel deprived when you have provided a nice basement to live in and bountiful meatloaf?

We your parents strict in all things? I think the trick is finding the balance in keeping them safe, without controlling their growth as a person. You can do both. Some people maybe did and do a better job than others tho.

Kids won’t go crazy when they become of age if parents are strict in a healthy way. My mother was strict and there wasn’t any heartfelt meaningful conversations behind her decisions in parenting me. This whole “just do what I say because I’m the parent” approach that the older generation follows isn’t effective at all.

Curly Hijabi right, but that rarely happens. personally, I think life expirence in the best teachers, but the best thing a parent can teach is to teach their kids to learn from others mistakes rather than learning from their own first. A lot of pain and suffering can be spared if this is taught but keeping kids from sleepovers doesn’t teach either.

Obviously their kids will be allowed sleepovers when they're older lol. Adults can do whatever they want. It's just for the time being.

Smoochy Pooh the exception sadly sister. God bless and keep listening to the Lord on this. Children are so vulnerable and lack wisdom.

Abusers often have families and hide in plain sight and people are often shocked when they are caught. Very dangerous to put children in a situation where abusers have access to their bodies while everyone else is asleep and no one can help them. I hope every parent would consider this truth.

Overprotective parenting doesn't do children any good. If children go to a sleepover at a good Christian home, they can learn independence, improve social skills, and make lifelong friends with an entire family.

weekendmom - we can stop the increase of evil 24/7 . With our kids . We help them . They will help us .

Actually violence and crime is at an all time low. It's just the media scaring everyone

Not if you are a Postmillennial christian.

What will happen when they are 18 and off to college or the Army?

Albert Giesbrecht - they can defend themselves with mace , a pistol , karate , a baseball bat . Be a MAN Be a WOMAN . I did make it . We all can .

Leonel Colina wow. Victim blaming a child. Thought I’d never see it.

Albert Giesbrecht , they will be adults that have muscles, are better able to protect themselves, and they don’t have to go to away at 18.