Why Narcissist APPEARS So STUPID (Borderlines and Psychopaths, too, sometimes!) 

The rate of narcissism is increasing the last couple of decades, and yes, the culture has a lot of influence.

Nothing sells better than makeup and Selfie sticks.

The media definitely does.

Narcissists are created age 2-5

Both…a lot of it is created by the devaluation of early childhood care and early parenting. These are extremely important jobs! Sweden has the right idea…480 days of parental leave and financial benefits per child, whether they are rich, poor, or in between.

Selectively stupid when it comes to the crimes they commit. Who me? What ever do you mean?

Sometimes they are Seriously Stupid because they refuse to listen to anyone else. They apparently know best.

@@gmr1241 Right. Their word is Gospel, yet find themselves in over their head. This is why we just sit back and allow them to what they do best. Self destruct!

@@sicibell Yes! It took me too long to realise I could do that.

@@gmr1241 Eventually that 1,000 piece jigsaw puzzle they handed us while silently whispering…you’re the target in my psychological thriller and no one ever has figured me out! (Pun intended in this case based off of “Jigsaw” starring himself lol) I just unlocked a new level narc and the plot twist ending you never saw coming! 🤣 They are stupid, gullible and transparent when you’re the outsider looking in. I knew who he was within 3 months and ONLY stayed to protect my daughter until she had a voice. I already had my exit plan in place and you absolutely can ethically manipulate the manipulator. Not literal when I say this and just being funny, but I went into FBI undercover mode lol by documenting everything for the future. I finally left, but God would not allow him to corrupt my daughter and became reborn again. Jesus saved us, it took 3 years but my daughter is finally free. He exhausted all of his legal and financial resources because narc man saw exposure was coming! He backed down and I was able to get custody out of the legal system. Therefore, he even told me in an email I’m handing power over to you lol. I allowed very limited visitation because I knew he was going to **** up and he did. He strangled my daughter and have her testimony on video from my outside security camera I installed for this reason. I knew it would save her life BUT I would need proof. I pretended all was well until the next pickup and confronted him. He lied and denied of course, however, I angled it in such a way he was backed into a corner. I left out I also had physical proof to support her truth. Next week, he was still proclaiming his innocence and deeming my daughter needed to be checked mentally. I allowed him to unravel unscripted on camera to then slam him with…based on physical findings I will have to now lean towards a physical evaluation. Ready. Wait. For. It. Him: OK. Take care. What happened? Got nothing to say “Mouth” from Goonies? He has fled and won’t step a pinky toe in that court room because I’m the only one in the history of that family who challenged and defeated them. I surrendered my life to Jesus and said you’re my only hope and God delivered His promise and protected us from evil! How do you defeat them? Just like David defeated Goliath, you slay them in the spirit realm and allow God to do what HE does better than that demon narc! I send you blessings and love in Christ! ❤️🙏🏻✝️ My motto GOSO…Get Out and Stay Out!

Met the King of Narcs in my town and all you mentioned were in his Don Quixote persona. Before I knew about Narcs and behavior patterns, I just labeled him insane.Following the education, I met lesser Narc creatures, but nothing like King Narc. I thank him- he gave me a reference of how I choose not to be in a million years. Amazing he can still stop at a traffic light and obey the rules of the road.

@@jhavajoe3792 They should honestly be seen as unable to care of themselves. It should be considered as a mental disorder.

I want too through holly water at them just to see what happens.

I been going through everything you just talked about for 8 years now i am tired I have him blocked in every way he likes to stalk me though and he has been to my door 2 times and I didn't answer door but he will eventually catch me outside he always does and I fall for his bs lines and fake kindness knowing better every time it's been almost a month since I have talked to him and I'm trying to stay strong he is so verbally and emotionally abusive it made me also get physically sick and I went sepsis and only weighed 87 pounds and he didn't even come see me in the hospital and he works there he has never said he was sorry for that he doesn't believe he did all that to me I started to doubt my own reality and thought I was losing my mind so I can relate to what you said completely

You nailed it.

You can't con a Con is his quote.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

A true predator. 💀🤣

A true predator. 💀🤣

Then when they really do something bad they want to punish their victim and lie you're the one like them because they've compartmentalized and charmed everyone else and because you're the real one people want to blame the victim not the fake charmer. They are flying monkeys of that person makes you feel good you know what they are like behind closed doors no you don't. They shit talk you.

That sounds amazing!

Everything lacking here in the good old USA… school prepares kids for nothing here but to climb over each other and step on who ever is in your way to get ahead…

@@andrewwenner2781The department of education needs to be scrapped.

Do they also teach that working 16h shifts is a bad thing, and does it teach them to be upstanding against bad people, does it teach them to be strong?

@@eustacebagge3869 , they do bow to authority for sure, but apparently we bow to "science". 🥸 They are more of a homogeneous collective that works well and they are strong, if good leaders. Not as independent as Americans, but perhaps more resilient. Group vs. individualistic.

It is during moments of profound isolation, when the narcissist finds themselves stripped of their hallowed entourage, shattered and exposed to the bleakness of their true essence. To comprehend this phenomenon requires firsthand witnessing, for it is an abyssal realm rarely fathomed by those uninitiated. In this forsaken realm, one encounters a disheartening sight-a lost, sorrowful child dwelling amidst an expansive void. Behind the curtain, bereft of an audience or devoted followers, where the enticement of gain and the fear of loss hold no sway, the narcissist becomes an embodiment of sheer emptiness-a hollow vessel devoid of substance. There is nothing there.

@@dropdead_red sounds like you described narcissistic collapse and like a textbook would too! Fascinating

“Textbook”? No, no, no. That was my very best attempt at a Vaknin-ian presentation, (better than a textbook, although perhaps my attempt fell short, haha). Maybe you’ll prefer a toned down version: It is only when the narcissist finds themselves truly isolated, shattered, and exposed that glimpses of their authentic self emerge from beneath the facade. One must appreciate the inherent challenge of grasping this state if one has not directly witnessed it-a state characterized by profound feelings of desolation, sorrow, and an underlying sense of emptiness. Behind the metaphorical curtain, devoid of an audience or admirers, in a realm untouched by potential gains or losses, the narcissist embodies a living manifestation of emptiness.

@@dropdead_red you absolutely did not fall short. You have a much better grasp at written language than I do. It was a very well understood description.

I could tell you what they are but it would not be nice, so I'll refrain.

We should start a support group or something. My mother and ex-partner (coincidence I think not) are both monstrous narcissists too.

This would be funny if it actually wasn't true. I spent the last 3 years tryna get out of debt caused by such ppls actions.

@@kigzman1745 Me too, Mum got me in 20k of debt at age 23 :-)

I knew one who was unbelievably stupid. Thought that putting all his money into a high-interest account THE DAY BEFORE interest became payable would get him a full 365 days of interest at that rate. Um, no. That's not how it works, bro.

@@niev1111 Glad you got away from your partner. It ain't always easy.

Run.

My grandfather, Dad and brother all narcissistic what you you said is correct also they live in a fantasy world my best advice is they can act normal but that is the bait and the trap

@@pict4119 I think that describes a huge portion of the population. I realize I could also be describing alpha animals, the people that intend to come out on top and principles are pointless. But I think some are not totally given over to their territorial self and have enough of a sense of right and wrong that they can be reformed - or it may also be that some normal people will take up the game of the territorial alpha only because there was no other way for them to survive. They didn’t want to but had to do it or they wouldn’t have a life. After living as a pseudo narcissist for a long time they learn more in life and realize they have regrets and would look for others to commune with who have empathy and a sense of community. But that might not be as common as I’d like to think.

Ah man, I tell yah, I do not know what it is that we politically put up with or even admire such people on TV when no one would want to fly in an airplane whose pilots believe the ends justify the means when it comes to a safe landing. That clown world of covert narcissists on TV has gotten way too rich at our depends. If a meteorite fell accidentally at the Oscars and they disappeared, the world would continue fine and even better and not as restless, but idiots all around would think it is the end of the world…. People confuse real culture, real wholesome container and life package around from clown entertainment BS. It is like the anti-cure, given that in more normal non schizophrenic non modern cultures the objective of art is linked to medicine and wholesome rituals of respect, gratefulness and reverence etc.

yes, and they make and change the rules as they go. Its a competition you have no idea you are being sucked into.

That's what gives them so much power in a way. No matter the circumstances they will always try to manipulate you, even if it kills them. Very powerful. How do you not feel for them to a degree after their bad choices?

lack of executive function due to inability to accept personal accountability at an emotionally mature level.

Interesting....would like to do what he did to ditch himself?

@@KingEdwardMD No, he was a malignant narc and he knew it and what's more is he knew I knew. To the point he verbally admitted it more than once. I have met and read about BPD males and this was not one.

​@@KingEdwardMD It sounds like you do not understand that some narcissists end up leading chaotic, self-destructive lives and think this is exclusive to borderlines but that is far from true. He enjoyed being feared/hated. He was driven by highly compulsive behaviors on behalf of a godlike False Self. He would talk the ear off anyone who would listen while ranking them as supply but was nonetheless consistently hateful of everyone he was surrounded by. He was far too aggressive and demeaning for his own good on a constant basis. He was 100% self aware he was a narcissist. He had a single Island of Stability he desperately clung to. I literally dealt with him by applying teachings on narcissism and it worked. I find it very odd you are so confident in your opinion when all the evidence points to the opposite and you never met the man.

All the narcs I know self sabotage. I’m not expert on any disorder but I have been learning and went ‘BINGO’ about 30 years in my marriage when I heard a video on covert narcissism. I would’ve never thought it at all as the ‘problem’ I couldn’t comprehend why we cycled. All I know is self sabotage is a huge problem in my relationships… with what I consider narcs of one form or another now.

Bingo

I am happy they dont improve their manipulation. 😅

@@mastabla4509 Actually they sometimes do.

what's odd to me is that their mistakes are perceived by them as the way to go. I believe so, anyway. It might be frustrating, but why should everyone conform to one ideal anyways? Isn't it healthy to have diversity, obviously when it's not toxic, which I'm assuming you're implying they are, but still there are those who exist that want their own path and don't need to function the same. We're all different and have different perspectives, when done healthy, what's the problem?

The covert narc ex, all of his relationships ended the same way. CHEATING! I asked him why not get help, he was hell bent on fixing the problem himself. Needless to say a day like today I am no contact and the pattern continues. Women would manipulate him and take his money. One gave him a child of another race and while everyone could have seen the kid is obviously not his, he was quite gullible about it. When the child reached about 11 he did a test and found out, he was shocked lol. Everyone else was shocked that he was shocked. The list goes on and on. Everyone with whom he holds near and dear to him plays him for a fool. It was quite sad and funny to witness.

True X10.

Very low Emotional Quotient

They’re the poster children for being Self unaware, as well as unaware or disconnected from reality - from What IS. They project their delusions onto What IS, either because they believe you/everyone else is ignorant or they ARE ignorant. My life’s covert narcissists ARE Both - ultra ignorant and they think I’m/everyone else is ignorant; but especially me.

You don’t really need to have good grades or book smarts in order to fake it.

Funny, my narc mother was an "exemplary student" with all the achievements, which she and her mother were proudly rubbing into my face on every occasion. And still, she, for example, failed at grasping the common knowledge necessary for survival, like the basic school physics, doing the most moronic things probably even a child would figure out. Then pretending people around her don't exist and she never screwed up. She tried so hard to compensate her lack of common sense with education, which *could've* helped in her situation tbh, but she failed even at that. 🤷 All she can do now is throw cool terms around that make her appear smart. Having good grades ≠ being knowledgeable.

Case dependent?​@@perilousturtle2171

@@perilousturtle2171 The liar and slanderer

bullseye

@@perilousturtle2171their parents

My father was sexually abused by his older brother and just grew up in a toxic environment in general. I dont't doubt that treatment gave him a huge inferiority complex. I don't know if he's a narcissist, but he has tons of traits. His half brother and half niece definitely are.

Nope 😂.

bro they just retards that's all lol

Your mother sounds very interesting. Add that to her appeal! :)

your name is interesting! i'm scorpio.🤞 my mum was like yours, and i fell 4 a grandiose hub... 😁

Sounds like she has a gangstalking spirit inside her

Sounds like my mom, but I don't think she's a narc, just co-dependent.

​@@lucialuciferion6720Co-dependents are narcs too.

A year ago, I wouldn't have known what you were talking about. With these last 5 months of getting an education and looking back, it was beyond healing. I can now see and isolate a bunch of memories of Narc and flying monkey encounters. I feel emboldened to push through to a better future, armed with knowledge of myself and the true social landscape.

Can I ask you some? It's the first time I listen to him because of suggestions. I have been listening to many people on this topic. Can say my father and brother has been active ly mean bully narcissists. Sometimes dangerous. And by the end of the video I foundany things he says apply to me but can also apply to many people around that aren't narcissists. Now I might have narcissist tendencies, or at least some sort of personality disorders. I think. I mean more than other at least. The near end one was more me. The critical voices inside (whom they places in me) etc. But I found it very disturbing, throughout the video how he call names and laughs, and calls names really like a bully, enjoying calling people belittling things in a very unempathic way frightened me. Is he a bully? I don't think we should talk about people like this. I understand very mean people can upset us, but he was just going after all mentally challenging people in my opinion. Like he would kick an addict on the street calling them idiots.

​@@jhavajoe3792there are countless better channels to learn these is what I want to be saying. Because writing the comment, I am sure his approach was not OK.

@m8nemi He is very open about being a Narcissist himself.

Can relate, except it's my mother who is the narcissist. Always fighting with her family and her bosses, and can't stay employed for more than a month while more and more of her relatives want nothing to do with her- yet she insists everyone is conspiring against her, and I've spent my entire life listening to her give exaggerated retellings of horrible things her parents SAID to her when she was a child, some 50 years earlier- and everyone else who knew her disputes her stories. She slowly drove my family apart for no reason.

@@theguybehindyou4762She might not be lying about the horrible things said to her. Might as well be generational trauma's with narcissists breeding narcissists. What most don't get is that, being abused does not give you the right to abuse others. So even if her being a narc comes from her bad family herself, it is not an excuse for her being shitty. That's just bad character on top of being a narc.

@@picklepopsickle Plenty decent narcs that are just annoying and dont make their problem your problem. Narcissism doesn't excuse blatant abuse, and most narcissists have bad character as well as being self-loving.

Totally relate. My dad just " doesn't know what got into me " well pops maybe the neglect and physical abuse mixed with verbal abuse had a tiny bit to do with it but what do I know I'm just the person whos life was ruined before it began.

@@theguybehindyou4762I hate my family because they are very narcissistic dynamics so 🤷🏻‍♀️

If your only drive is your egotistical needs, at some point, you have to do away with what is right, both intellectually and emotionally to quench the thirst. So for outsiders, they will eventually look like taking stupid decisions (affairs, lying, fraud, drugs, violence etc)

Yeah, I wish more people understood this.

It's so hard for me to come to terms with this, and I don't know why.

​@@Jade-hr1mf same.😢 sadly.

Oh well. You have not been in a situation where you life is matter. These will escalate the situation to the point you get injured. Very stupid and stupidity when insights are required to make safe and sound choices.

someone smart would know the difference between "loose" and "lose"

​@@JAYSPLASHMUSICIDK, some people learn through other's mistakes. then do not care for others. *ponders* makes me wonder if society is a whole mess of a mistake recently.

​@@JAYSPLASHMUSIC maybe English wasn't their first language? I know a lot of people who learned English as a second language have a problem with "loose" and "lose".

​@@anthonymangia8890yeah I used to have the same problem , because it's my second language as well.

They come from all walks of life.

@@Persiphon Most are severe abuse victims. The reality is, when you take a piss on a narcissist, you are making fun of abuse victims. But they deserve it, right? Oooof... Who lacks empathy again?

@@selkiehimbo the ones I know are not abuse victims , they haven't gone through childhood trauma either . The child abuse survivors I do know are lovely people. One is a bit snappy but it's understable as they've only just started seeking professional help but this person isn't abusive either. As I said they come from all walks of life saying they are mostly child abuse victims is wrong because people with these behaviours also come from homes where there was no abuse.

You know who wants us to have pity and think of narcs as victims? Narcs

@@selkiehimboit’s like the chicken and the egg . When the narc is abusing you, must we turn the other cheek ?

Yeah it's always needed to be done again and now 3x the work and money bc he messed it up and didn't do it right.

Or how about start 5 home projects and finish NONE!

​​@@Puppylove82-gv3gm I agree that's frustrating but it doesn't prove narcissism. ACOAs ( adult child of an alcoholic) also do that.

Omg my narcissistic parents destroyed my childhood home with their half arsed sh*t projects and repairs they slopped together that need even more repairs to fix the damage they did 😂 and guess who is going to have to repair and pay for it.. not them 🥲

⁠@@mominminnesota6648 so very true,he moved into my house,which i have been in for years with no problems.Twenty years later after his so called DIY attempts!!! the house is wrecked he believed he was a plasterer, plumber, electrician, joiner, carpet cushion floor & laminate floor fitter and the list goes on.(jack of all trades master of none)Thank God lt’s OVER and i’m in RECOVERY. Xx

Sounds like autism. Keep deleting my comments but you people don’t know the difference between autism and narcissism.

This scares me. I am 36 and my husband 33 we have been together for 6 years and I realized he’s a covert narcissist unfortunately I come from a family with abuse and addiction so my judgement is off. I keep trying to give him the benefit of the doubt that his issue come from his father is w covert narcissist and his mother who is definitely enmeshed but she’s suffering from her own marriage. I am not a priority. I am told I am number 1 but it’s all about him and his family. I’m like an intruder. I have even pregnant every single year ( unfortunately we lost all of them) I am now 18 weeks again and I feel that i knowingly walked into the lions den and decided to stay. Ugh. He makes horrific decisions based on his family’s whims of that day! I mean huge life choices! Ughhh

@@alyciamarie4163 get out of there :c

@@alyciamarie4163 please consider leaving or he will Destroy you. Recognise you Worthy of a great future reclaim your Crown.

@@alyciamarie4163 your body tells you every time it wants to leave the situation. Just listen. Crossed fingers and lots of strength to you ❤

​@@alyciamarie4163Seriously, if you haven't already, please consider getting out. It's horrible how the narcissist pulls you back in. You can have months of "good times" where you almost forgot how bad it was last time... maybe this time he'll be better. HE WON'T. There is no cure for this. Please save yourself while you can.

They act stupid so you do the things they don't want or won't learn how to do on their own.

Borderlines and psychopaths too.

I've read somewhere that many autistic women are wrongly diagnosed with borderline personality disorder. Just saying

You mentioned your self esteem. I think the trick for us is to accept ourselves for who we are. We have to do the best we can and stop comparing ourselves to others. I just watched this excellent video on how to change one's inner monologue: ru-vid.com/video/%D0%B2%D0%B8%D0%B4%D0%B5%D0%BE-3NWKgNv8fQY.html

I'm borderline to, stay strong bro!

I think that we are all contradictions, ultimately. But not all of us know ourselves deeply enough to see it.

Please keep communicating.

Definitely hoarders! They are "stupid" blind to the emotional pain and health issues they cause other family members. Unbelievable selfishness. It's all about control by way of barricades of cr*p to drive people away! 🤮

that is my situation to a tee. The self sabotage due to not wanting to look like you don't already know what you are doing is absolutely insane. Thing is that everyone kind of knows what this feels like. I related to my narcissist because she had a lot of child like shame which I related to. little did I know it was self imposed and that she wasn't just waiting for someone to help her out of her "shell".

Crabs in a buck.

Your statement alone is showing your already winning, you can DO the healing.I have utmost confidence you can "cycle-break " !! Get peace,God Bless you !! To the great future !!❤️💜

Learn from others mistakes. You won’t live long enough to make them all on your own. ~Eleanor Roosevelt

Bless you & God keep you safe now. Your brave & the ultimate generational survivor With Prayers✝️& Peace❤️💜

If I may add: what good is an Einstein if he is a junkie, crackhead, thrice convicted felon, and pathological liar to boot? Yes, I knew one. It took me ten years to extricate him from my life and I feel the repercussions to this day.

Einstein himself did that too. Read about his relationships esp with his wife.

go outside people, small lives are not worth small people

Same. I’m like a scapegoat in my family. It’s annoying

@@yutu... That sux - I def know how that feels. What helped me a lot was realizing that those enabling the behaviors are defacto collaborators of the npds abusive ways. This perspective was liberating.

Run my friend and don't look back.

I get it. I was the scapegoat and that's how it is. Try to take comfort that this struggle will make you more emotionally intelligent and resilient. Your sister may stall. That's my experience anyway. You aren't alone.

Profoundly moronically stupid to the point, the victim initially doubts- that anyone could be this mind-blowing Stupid!? Thus, (mistakes) in giving them a 2nd chance, instead of running from Stupid! Like we will all do from now on. 😊

@@EmmaJean-pq6sm GOAT is the acronym (abbreviation using first letter) for "Greatest Of All Time." 😉👍🌻

Absolutely. Many of us struggle to steer clear of what stems from what. Certain kind of stupidity can be very useful nowadays, there are always other stupids that want to save you and avoid taking responsibility of their own lives. The same old story..

davidc, thank you for introducing me to this brilliant quote. It perfectly encapsulates what I'd been trying to articulate for myself. Wow! I've just added it as a signature line to my email so that I can share it with others. Thank you so much!

But those who are well adjusted to dysfunction can help others navigate through it.

It's just catching fleas. 😅 Keep washing ❤

@@pysq8 👍🏾😂

Actually it is,it literally is the same word.Intelligence means in-read(insight)

Look for the red flags. Stop getting sucked into narcissistic relationships. There are many good videos on narcissism on RU-vid now.

Unfortunately this is very true. Iim sorry! I can relate. You got out once you can do it again! Get a support system and go.

fucking story of my life, holy shit

My advice: get out.

I'm sorry to ask, how did they destroy every aspect of your life and family? I'm worried about someone making up stories to my friends and family and making them seem believable because this man is cunning.

Ok, he has an addiction (so you do, but probably pretend you don't consume things to provoke a certain state of mind as alcohol, porn, junk food, sugar, coffee, adrenaline, etc) that you don't understand and you think you are better than him because of your food and porpety you offer to a named friend? Of course you're stupid.

You're not so stupid as to figure out the mistake and adjusted upon realizing it. A Narc won't introspect, so mistakes will be repeated over and over.

Good looking did you say....

Sometimes we have to mourn the friend who is no longer our friend. Call it possession or any $10 word you choose. Their only friend is their drug of choice and they will do anything to spend time with it.

I Don't Get Why That Makes Him A Bad Friend...He Didn't Steal From You, Didn't Screw You Over...You Seem Like A Bad Friend For Lacking Empathy & Understanding & Not Meeting People Where They Are Instead Of Expecting They Conform To Your Ideal...I'm Sure If It Were That Easy, They Gladly Would.

🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 🤣 I have had responses similar to that from my x

😳🤣😂

My ex narc would send nudes to guys within the same social circle and have sex with them. All relatively wealthy. The guys see her as a easy sex toy and she is still proud each time she gets them for a night. When she realizes that they wont become her boyfriend she has a meltdown and travels to a old guy 500km away and spends a weekend with him. Then she comes back and does the dame again.

@@kofokofo they're crazy how they repeat the same behaviour, I used to put one on ice regularly for poor behaviour, she would go insane to get me back apologising profusely. Then she would repeat the same silly behaviour within 3 weeks.

@@mercenary1881 she is crazy but I also feel sorry for her. I got warned by a friend who is from the same place as she is. Apparently her whole family is akward. Now I know her mom is mentally sick and seeing therapists for 10-15 years. Her dad does not care and simply buys her a second horse to make her happy. after a few months i reached out to the dad and told him a few things. What he responded was: “im surprised now. She always said u treated her well”. What has this to do with her issues?! I still gave it a try and regret it so much now. It took me 9 months to get her out of my head. All the pretending and her putting on a show. She would behave differently with different people. When they were in the same place she did not know how to behave. I also got STDs from her and her response was: why from me? I: I did not have sex with anyone for 1.5 years and u pulled of the condom during sex. She: its the governments fault because they do not teach us anything about these diseases. WTF I checked her phone after I had concerns. What I saw was just sick and when I told her she was super embarrassed that I figured out what she is. She thinks she is super smart and people cant see through her. Lot of guys i know blocked her because she harassed them or because they thought she is crazy. Many of them simply ignored her

I’m disabled too and left my narc partner, I’m starting over but finically having issues(that’s why I was with him so long) However, after the first step the rest will fall into place hope you’re doing well

@@beepboop9519 Good luck to you as well. I heard it's hard to truly get away, but I have hope for a better future

If you leave you will find a better partner.

Im bpd and I’m not dangerous. Some ppl are dangerous not all ppl. I was abused and bullied my whole childhood and life so now I have codependency and anxiety issues all of which causes me to be in harms way over and over. Im not a danger. I’ve had neurotypical ppl abuse and even sexually abuse me as well as groom me. Im not the danger. It’s so disheartening to survive all of this just to see ppl stigmatize and demonize my disorder.

Now what are you going to do about it? Help yourself and your environment. Good luck

❤

Yes I Can

he is awful

What made him eventually get therapy? Does he have empathy now or just able to control his emotions

@Jade-hr1mf Hi, Jade. I think that's a wonderful question and I appreciate you taking the time to ask. He was highly narcissistic, but over time, even though I was financially and physically trapped with him, I kept brutally shooting him down whenever he would want to make a move on me or get closer to me emotionally, romantically. I kept telling him and roasting him over and over about all the ways he was a horrible person and partner, and why I found he and his family disgusting. Because he wanted my approval, love and access to me so badly, he would occasionally accidentally listen to the sense I was speaking and it would sink in. After several years of that and his own stupidity catching up with him in literally the ways I would predict, he was mystified and impressed enough that he began asking me to help him understand HOW I knew what was going to happen. I had then to teach him about infantilization and emotional, social, mental, moral stunting when one is raised by narcissists or psychopaths (I seriously believe that his father is an overt narcissist, and his sister and his mother are diagnosable psychopaths), and the many, many ways he and his siblings had been through extreme abuse and neglect since birth, likely. From there, he realized that he didn't have to live in poverty, filth, anger and constant social paranoia. He wanted to go to therapy alongside my feedback to learn how to live in a healthy, balanced, safe way that was built on proper inner and outer boundaries, goal and resource management and personal responsibility. He's still got some glitches... it's hard for him sometimes to emotionally respect needs, hobbies etc of mine that aren't his, for example, but the compromise is that he just needs to respect that I have them and love them, and that that's a part of loving me, which he says he does (and I thoroughly believe him; he's been through hell trying to earn me). He also had to learn that I'm his one guaranteed safe person as long as he's not abusing or neglecting me, and that if he does those things again, I go byebye. He was raised for 28 years to believe that all relationships are made of power struggles and abuse. He was used to thinking that even if you loved someone emotionally, every relationship has a controller who knows best in every way and the other person has to worship the controller. There's literally no equality or respect in any of his family's relationships, from married couples to siblings. Everyone snaps at each other, or is vying for control, openly or more subtly. He's cut out the whole family after trying family therapy with his parents and a family systems therapist who has a special degree in "personality disorders" aka narcissism. The parents went in trying to force him into lying to the therapist... he called them on it in the session... they were all asked to do integrity based home work as a result to continue.. the parents said they'd resume therapy right after the holidays. None of that ever happened. He'd called them on the lying, the way they treated him and others etc and they dipped out, everything left a total disaster on purpose. They still won't talk to him. It's going on a year soon. All of that was kind of the final piece that proved to him that I and the therapists were correct, and he needed to stay healing in therapy away from that full dozen of monsters.

@@no_one_211 wow, thank you for the comment. I was in tears reading everything hes been through, and I can tell you love him to guide him like this. I too believe he loves you as well, it's not easy changing these defense mechanisms and to take the steps he did with cutting off his toxic family speaks volumes. My ex also grew up in a terribly abusive household as well, it hurts so bad that they take on these personalities in order to protect themselves against the ones who were meant to give them love. I don't think I can apply your situation to mine, but it still makes me happy that at least someone out there was able to get it right and find happiness. It was especially beautiful when you said he knows with you, as long as he doesn't abuse you, he is safe. The number one thing I realized very very early on into my relationship was that he didn't feel safe. And I spent over a year trying everyday to show him he was safe with me. I wish I would have thought, or known, about these issues while we were together. I thought it was normal trust issues! Lol.

Therapists refuse narcassists and psychopaths because they cannot be changed

Lonely women, yes. What they perceive to be lonely. Any woman by herself at anytime is considered a lonely woman. With cell phones, internet, travel, we arent lonely even if we r alone at the moment. I go out for mcdonalds coffee in the morning by myself, and that gets construed in narcs minds, that im alone or lonely. Which then in turn makes me a target of theirs. They dont target groups at McDonald's i notice. Going out for coffee is a treat i give myself. I dont go out for coffee cause im lonely or alone. The workers at McDonald's are just as bad. The gaslighting bs. Omg a single female just walked in. Is like a coo coo.

See if you search on google engine "Cluster A" "Cluster B" and "Cluster C test" you can take the tests for each cluster in the row, so you can see if you have any tendency to became one of them.

😹 yer read the textbook!, so that they don't! have to fix anything! & in that book, it states, just simply hire out others! to fix your 💩!🤣

There life skills of survival are excellent but there are to many deep rooted problems

Anyone in politics needs to be a narcissist, in any form they come. No sane person can survive that world unless they deny everyone else’s perspectives.

he may be a narcissist but at least he didn't get us involved in new wars. if you research Trump deeper than the media portrayal and his stupid tweets about Rosie, he has helped a lot of people. In the business world he is very tough. In today's crazy world, in order to deal with all of the other borderline personality power hungry leaders, you need to be a narcissist. but what him with his family, they adore him.

@@MultiShmed This is the kind of incredibly reductive statement that cheapens and minimizes the severity of true narcissistic personality disorder and the abuse ACTUAL narcissists inflict on others. It makes me doubt that you have ever met a real life NPD person. Narcissists are probably much more common in politics-as they are in corporate business world-compared to other professions that don't grant access to status, money, and power. But no, everyone in politics is not a narcissist. Look at Mitt Romney or George W Bush vs. Donald Trump. They all ran for president and made careers in politics, but Romney and Bush do not have narcissistic personality disorder. Trump does have it.

@@StormyMonday0896 You can thank some of the generals for that...not Trump. It would have been a disaster.

Similar situation with a long time friend/boss. He wasn't a conservative but it doesn't matter because they will find an "other" in almost anything. Very black and white thinking which is not a sign of high intelligence. Like a child thinks, basically.

Write a book,your a pro by now,they gave you that...😮