"Narcissists don't have broken hearts, they have offended egos." "If a narcissist is changing, they will show you with their behavior." So true. Not letting go is real for many narcissists. I had one refuse to accept boundaries and still thinks she'll get me back in time.
Many many years ago I was in a narc relationship it lasted 1 year. When I had enough I ended that toxic relationship. The narc did everything in his sick powers to hold on to me, but all has failed; it became harrament, stalking, repeated phone calls than came physically abused. I stood my grounds, and I did not give in, I thank my male cousin for his help, my cousin acted as my bodyguard than the narc stayed away from me. So that's how I rid myself from that sick narc. Thank you for sharing your video. ❤
Well stated. I refuse to say “hi” to certain Narcs because they will find a way to smear or pick it apart. My lips are forever sealed as well …. so are my written words.
This is really good. You're right in my experience. I went 2 years and it was only a casual friend and when I reappeared she was right in there, imposing herself and her narrative. I told her no and i know you're not advised to talk to them, but I got tired of being muzzled, and I told her I thought it was inappropriate she was still asking after me. She advanced it with a text and I answered with a very clear message about wanting to be left alone. I briefly outlined why. I know I gave her more weapons by communicating with her but for 2 years I'd not said anything. She used that, and now she can't anymore. I've explained myself very clearly and in writing. I hope it's too uncomfortable for her to keep at me, but I'm afraid I've provoked her. I think i was fairly composed though. I don't understand the need for control. It's really strange they can be controlling everyone and everything and have it go under the radar.
My psychiatrist wasn't much help, he was upset that i was not wver goimg back! They say they understand and then prove they don't, then get defensive when you ask if they believe you!
What you mention at 5:00 is exactly what I went through, and it was hilarious to watch it take place. I didn't know about NPD or that "No Contact" was the only real solution, but I was completely aware (after YEARS of turmoil) that this person was delusional and that their worldview was a little distorted. I had become completely attuned to the fact that the narcissist in my life HAD to win, HAD to be in control, etc. in every single interaction. Nothing was ever NOT their way and they had a compulsive need to "win" every single conflict and have the upper hand. Nothing they ever did was for my best interest even if it she was phrasing it as if it was. So eventually I became fed up and told her that I just wanted space, that I was tired of all of the fighting and that I clearly wasn't making her happy so I thought us getting some distance would help (knowing all along I was trying to slip away entirely but it had to seem like I was doing it for HER). She gave me about a week before declaring that we should "go back to normal" and I told her "that's okay, I still need time to think". She was LIVID because she realized that I wasn't falling for her manipulation anymore and she couldn't snap her fingers and return everything to the status quo anymore. She spent the next three months telling anyone she could to reach out to me to tell me how much she "missed" me. But every time I would casually reach out via a generic Snapchat or wish her happy birthday on Facebook, I would get no reply. It was SO OBVIOUS that she didn't "miss" me - she was just frustrated that she didn't have all the power. She didn't want my friendship which is why she would throw it back in my face with a snub and silent treatment every time I reached out. Then when she would realize her snubs wouldn't elicit a reaction out of me and that I wasn't chasing her, I would get another message from another person saying "____ says she misses you". Clearly trying to prompt me to reach out to her just so she could punish me with the silent treatment. Finally, I let down my guard and just texted her for real one day when someone told me "she wants to talk to you" (but weirdly wouldn't reach out to me first). It was a generally nice conversation, nothing crazy.... Two days later, I get a text out of the blue, it's a novel about how awful I am and how done with me she is and how she doesn't need this "rollercoaster" anymore. All I could do was laugh because I saw it coming from a mile away. She didn't miss me or want my friendship or want to talk to me - her ego was just bruised because I walked away from HER, so she spent months playing a game trying to make me engage again, JUST so SHE could walk away from ME. Texting someone who clearly wants space from you JUST to tell them how it's actually YOU who doesn't want to talk to THEM instead of you know, just....leaving them alone? It was hilariously childish and honestly, pretty pathetic. I just laughed it off, blocked her and then never interacted with her ever again.
All of the behaviors you mentioned were tried on me for a year and a half after I kicked him out. I had to involve the police! He's to leave me alone or be arrested. He's broached that twice about a Bar B Q that I neither want nor need, but he's giving me. I hope that was the end of it all, but I remain on guard.
I just found your channel. I am really liking how you get to the heart of each subject and offer solid insights, as well as recommendations on how to do self care. Your communication style is great! A suggested topic would be the narcissist's deceit and lies of omission.
That is a great idea. I think the lies of omission are where we can mistakenly fill the blanks in with assumptions we would make if we were dealing with a normal person. Thanks!
Yes back up plan and she knows i have $$, it lasted a few months but only saw her a couple of times, spoke once a week but in beginning she was ringing me quite a bit, now i have dumped miss nastiness again she is still ringing and texting but no words, no words pass between us!❤
9 месяцев назад
They end it for they wait until they find the ultimate replacement. And they still hang around and still use you until they find the replacement. When they find a replacement they drop you cold turkey
I really crave to get an updated number of how much Cluster-B NPD people are really walking out there in 2022? I always hear the number of 1-2%, but just looking at my workplace, "friends"-circle, etc. this number seems way too low. My guess is somewhere in the solid 20%. What do you think?
I can’t think of how there could ever be an accurate way to measure it. I do think that 1-2% is a lot higher than it seems. That’s a lot of people! I also think that some workplaces (or friend groups or families) might attract more narcissists than others, so it may create the illusion that there are more in the world than there really are. I also think there are a lot of people that have high narcissistic traits without having a full blown PD. So those are my thoughts. Not very scientific, but I don’t think there’s any way to know for sure.
