Why the US Military Has a 26-Page Brownie Recipe 

You know what's even longer than this brownie recipe? The list of HAI topic suggestions from viewers like you, but since we're such a content machine, we still need more! Therefore, be part of our mission to become one of the least ethical big-tech companies around and suggest us new topics and, as a tiny, meaningless reward, we'll ship you a free HAI t-shirt if we use your suggestion: docs.google.com/forms/d/e/1FAIpQLSfUdlvw6YgU44J8AnM2U_ZvRMyvh_CUM51LYSqF5nYJB9d1-w/viewform?usp=sf_link

I’m not going to lie. When you said you couldn’t tell us the whole recipe, I 100% expected parts of it to be classified.

"SARGE WE NEED THE TACTICAL BROWNIE!" "I'M ONLY ON PAGE 2 YOU'LL HAVE TO WAIT A FEW MINUTES!"

"14 to 16 grams per square inch"... Bloody hell America, sort yourself out.

Correction: I've talked to a few vets who have recounted fighting over the brownies, they aren't bad. I've also seen a few posts online from service members recounting their battles... of trying to snag the tastiest MRE.

You'll never get my 9,001 page kimchi recipe

“mr president, they’ve found the brownie recipe” “dear god, we’re all fucked”

An additional caveat to the length and extremely specific nature to writing directions to be used in production. The goal to writing directions for mass production is so that the least capable employee can produce the most consistent results - assuming directions were explicitly followed. In an undergrad class for product development, we had to write instructions for brushing your teeth to be given and followed by a class mate, the instructions were to be followed as though you understood English and could follow directions very literally, and nothing more. The shortest A grade in the class was like 3 pages, and still operated on ‘too many assumptions’.

Two friends of mine said MRE means "Meals Ready to Excrete." Having been given a few by them, I can attest that is a good description.

"Basically, it’s the same color guideline the TSA uses for people." I haven't seen a burn that intense since the last gender reveal party.

MRE’s are actually really good at keeping hackers out. I mean, have you ever heard of an MRE being hacked?

The broken down MRE you showed at 3:30 - Menu 10: Chili Mac is actually very good, no better nor worse than canned Chef Boyardee. That said, some of the menus are truly, truly hauntingly awful; The Menu 4: Cheese and veggie omelet is something you would rather starve yourself than consume.

My uncle brought me some MREs when he got out of the military and they aren't THAT bad. It's basically on par with any canned/frozen meal you'd buy for cheap. Stay away from stuff that wouldn't be good if it was coming out of a can. Noone should expect instant meatloaf to be good but you can't go wrong with what is basically a lunchables pizza.

If you've never eaten an MRE you'd be legitimately surprised how absolutely decent they are.

MRE brownies aren't actually as bad as this video makes them sound, they're just dry and crumbly.

Some of the modern MREs are actually pretty tasty. Slippy Joe's, macaroni and chili, and spaghetti with meat chunks are my favorites. The almond poppyseed pound cake and cornbread are also tasty. Vanilla dairy shakes are great mixed with rum

I no joke absolutely LOVE MRE's, my uncle brought me one as a kid and I never stopped annoying him to bring me more. I was surprised to learn people don't like them

"Basically the same colour guide the TSA uses for people" Bruh, I just about spit out my coffee.

MRE’s aren’t actually that bad as most people say they are It just depends entirely on what MRE you get Some people love certain ones while universally despising the rest

“If the circle inside is lighter than the ring itself, the food is good! If it’s the same color, the food is most likely good. If it’s darker, the food is bad. Basically, it’s the same color guide the TSA uses for people.” That was the hardest I’ve ever laughed at a joke on this channel.

I was in AJROTC my first year of highschool (then I moved and my new school didn't have ROTC), and we had a camping trip where we got MREs for lunch. The quality of the Meals Ready to Eat is, while not a home-cooked meal made with fresh ingredients, nowhere near as terrible as most people seem to think. Provided you follow the included instructions, you can make a decent meal out of a single MRE package, and a standard-issue one quart canteen of water. Generally, you put a bit of your water into a water-activated heat pack, heat the food, and eat it. It provides all the nutrition you need, is easy to carry and store, and lasts for between three and a half years, though they are usually eaten within six months to a year. The reason why MREs get such a bad rep is because, when you are deployed, that is your lunch, every day, for months. Some flavors are better than others, and those generally get eaten first, so by the end of the crate you are stuck with the worst flavors that can only barely be favorably compared to cardboard.

"It's the same color guide that the TSA uses for people" Oh my

"Meal, Ready to Eat", which, as Tom Clancy once pointed out, is three lies for the price of one.

MRE is Mr. E...mystery. If you don’t like them, you just aren’t hungry enough. 😇

About the MRE thing, I can't help to think about what Tom Paxton sang in "Talking Vietnam" "A lovely dinner they planned for us With a taste like a seat on a crosstown bus. Some of the veterans left theirs in the cans For the Viet Cong to find. . . Deadlier than a land mine." (it's not in Ochs ' original version)

"meals rejected by everyone" steve1989 would like a talk

The specification of the eggs is interesting as it still doesn't seem to actually specify to use chicken eggs. Unless of course some of the other referenced guidelines include that specification

If anyone's interested in making this, I've distilled the recipe into something more kitchen-friendly: Brownie ingredients 184 g sugar 168 g flour 134.4 g copha (or butter) 128 g nuts (almonds and/or pecans and/or walnuts), chopped into small pieces 2 large eggs 44 g cocoa 35.2 g dextrose, anhydrous (glucose syrup) 0.24 g salt 1. Whip eggs in large bowl on high speed until light and fluffy 2. Combine sugars, cocoa, salt, and leavening; add to beaten eggs, and whip on high speed until thick 3. Add copha slowly while mixing on low speed 4. Scrape bowl and whip on high speed until thick 5. Mix flour, nuts and flavours together and fold into batter; mix until uniform 6. Pour into pan 7. Bake at 177 C for 30-45 mins 8. Cover with uniform chocolate coating Coating ingredients 64 g cocoa powder 96 g nonfat dry milk 240 g butter 1.6 g egg yolk 388 g sugar 1 g salt 0.5 g vanilla extract Heat together at 67 C for 30 mins Cut coated brownie into rectangles 3.5 in (8.89 cm) by 2.5 in (6.35 cm) by 5/8 in (1.588 cm)

3:10 Or my favorite: "MRE three lies for the price of one".

When I was in high school, I had a business selling MRE's. I'd sell them to all the outdoors people I knew (they're good for hikes) and to some doomsday preppers. They actually aren't that bad, unless you're in the military and that's all you have to eat for a while.

Wait a minute, this isn’t about bricks.

As somebody in the Army, modern MRE's actually aren't that bad. It's just kind of an outdated joke that we keep around. While there are certain ones that I won't touch with a 15 foot pole (looking at you Creamy Spinach Fettuccine), most are actually decent, or dare I say, good. There was even a time in training when we were being served field chow (cafeteria food that's been put into travel containers to be served where ever the unit is) but the Drill Sergeants said we weren't gonna have enough for everybody and that they need 10 volunteers to eat MRE's, and almost all of the remaining fifty people volunteered.

I was in the USAF. MREs were amazing. Everyone I've talked to who's had MREs agreed with me that they were awesome. We've talked about where we can buy more. I don't have any idea what MREs people have been eating that were gross.

‘Meals rejected by Ethiopia’ That’s actually pretty funny

This feels similar to the International Standard Cup of Tea that Tom Scott made.

1:53 Lol when you said it explains eggs over 6 pages, I assumed they would explain what is the function of the egg in the recipe, and any suitable substitute for it, so the meal is capable of being made in situations of austerity or low supplies - not that they actually have 6 pages of specs of what kind of color shape and granulation the egg should be.

I love how you managed to make your video resemble the recipe: Both get to the baking part after one third. The rest is HAI.

Normal people: Join the army to help the nation. Us, wise viewers of Half as Interesting: Join the army to learn how to bake brownies.

4:40 Who made this chart? Why did they put the dependent variable on the horizontal axis? Why is it a bar chart? The world may never know.

"basically, its the same colour guide that the tsa uses for people"

The recipe actually being written in the format of a federal standard spec sheet is the best thing I've ever seen.

Russia: we have military grade tanks America: we have military grade brownies

*HAI:* "Meals Rejected by Everyone" *Steve1989 and every RU-vidr reviewing MREs:* dafuq

I contracted for the US Air Force for a year or two... they do indeed document everything to the nth degree. I actually enjoyed that, and took that experience to future jobs in the IT field. It may seem excessive, but lots of documentation is better than none at all.

That TSA joke was probably the best joke you've ever made

While salt is hydrophilic the word you're looking for is hygroscopic: water-absorbing.

I thought those were bricks in the thumbnail. Disappointed

"And multiple paragraphs explaining what eggs are" Ah, the most important part of a military brownie ration recipe.

MRE recipes are first and foremost, contracting documents. The sad truth is that is what it takes to keep most contractors reasonably honest. Even then, it doesn't always work. You made a fair shot at the point that MREs are designed to be combat rations -- to keep you functioning under some of the worst conditions possible. In case you hadn't noticed, Door Dash et al do not normally deliver in combat zones, so as much as you might prefer a fresh Danish from your favorite bakery, I guarantee it would be pretty sad by the time it got to Fallujah (or more recently, somewhere in the woods in Poland).

HAI: “MRE’s taste bad” Steve MRE: “I can’t believe you’ve done this”

I've heard MREs referred to as "Meals Ready to Exit" due to their effect on the digestive system

As someone who was in the Canadian Air Cadets, I can say that MRE's (That look identical to the ones in this video, but might be different, IDK,) very WILDLY in quality. I distinctly remember loving and saving the brownies, making trades with other Cadets, and some meals being universally hated by everyone. Would definitely have MRE's again.

I remember in AIT a woman had complained to her grandmother about not eating enough, and that grandmother called our base (Aberdeen Proving Ground) and complained about it. The Drill Sergeants made her carry around 3 MREs taped together for a few days.

It's because they can legally invade anyone's country if the country creates their own brownie recepie

Imagine classifying a document that is 26 pages long, is almost too specific, and it's not even for the tastiest brownie ever. In that case, a tasty brownie should be a 500 page long recipe.

I loved the way they taste. If I could afford to buy military MREs sense I've been out of service, I would.

You know, the fact they have specification actually didn't blow my mind. It's perfectly normal for something mass produced to have multiple page of recipe. What blows me away is that we didn't have the answer to third question yet.

"The same color guide the TSA uses" made me laugh

My dad’s favorite is, “Meals Ready to Expel.”

The US MRE is not that bad tasting honestly, even more so when compared to other countries MRE's but they actually cause a lot of diarrhea or constipation depending on who you ask. We usually call them meal ready to exit or meal refusing to exit, never heard personnally about the other nicknames.

someone brought a bunch of MREs to my cooking class in school and honestly I loved them. i’ve had the brownies too. not great but edible. I even brought several home

"Which is too boring even for our channel" DAYM

this man put all his points in charisma and editing amazing

so glad u posted this vitil info!

The Army: One of the most important thing a soldier can be is flexible. Also The Army: We can only make brownies ONE WAY! All other ways are unacceptable!

“This is how you make brownies in the military” Shows chocolate cake

People: The military is so reckless! They don't care about peoples safety! Also the military: *has a 26 page long brownie recipe which is mostly just safety procedures*

THEY ARE AMAZING, I’ve had them and the brownies in MREs are the best thing about them

I wanna see how Gordon Ramsay reacts to this brownie recipe.

I really don't mind most MRE's. However, there is a special place in hell for the guy who thought the 'Veggie Omlet' was a good MRE idea.

This channel is hilarious, and informative.

Right after watching this video I went and got a pdf of the recipe, I'm gonna try it out as soon as I can.

MREs are bad, here's some cadet recipes to make them better: Field mocha: two instant coffees and a hot chocolate powder Peanut butter and jelly sandwich: peanut butter packet, grape jelly, and wheat snack bread (or tortilla) Bear juice: every fruit beverage powder mixed into one shot, taken to induce cardiac arrest Apple maple oatmeal + tortilla is a lifesaver. Makes it much more palatable. Chocolate chip cookie + peanut butter is also a great option If you've ever wondered what it feels like to have your intestines dried out like cat gut cello strings, just eat 3 wheat snack breads and no water. Bon appétit

I mean the US Airforce did accidentally drop tootsie rolls during the Korean War because the soldiers codenamed the drop “Tootsie Roll”

I wonder how many people got the shade you threw at the justice dept when you were mentioning the TTI. That was pretty good. Your jokes are always subtle but pack a literal punch lol

That opening to this video is golden.

4:28 accurate

Let me guess, the brownie had oil, they invaded and took the oil, and now the brownie recipe is under new management?

This channel takes subliminal messaging to the next level..

That TSA jab with color of inner circle of ring was **chef's kiss**

1:04 they literally misspelled chocolate in the title as “cocolate” 😂

US Military: 26 pages on how to make a Brownie. Russia: "don't forget the Vodka!!"

I love shelled walnut pieces of the small piece size classification

Mre’s taste great, the one exception is the vegetarian omelet. The real secret is knowing what parts to heat and which parts to eat cold. It isnt the same for every meal either. Also some of the deserts are better when swapped around to different meals than they come with.

It sounds to me like someone was assigned to write a 8-page paper, But it wasn't written in good taste, so... ...they added a disclaimer. 😂

Because George Washington’s grandma wanted to keep it safe

loved mine during my service, the powered energy drink was basically speed ! the spag and tuna cassorole was 10/10

That’s the smoothest beginning I have ever seen

Breaking into Area 51 to steal America's brownie recipe...

Also known as Meals Refusing to Exit

must cook these right now

After hurricane Maria hit, they sent us a ton of MREs & I got to try like 10 different varieties of them. The pasta options are "edible", the tuna one is an actual packet of starkist tuna & shredded beef was actually quite nice. Still looking to try a taco one & the pizza slice in the future.

That TSA joke was elite 4:17

Getting a 26 page order for a brownie US Military chefs: Cries while cooking

Enjoyable vid, informative...thanks! Your stock video budget must be huge!

This was a really funny episode. bravo!

As someone who is pretty proficient at making brownies from scratch, I kinda wanna make this lol

For the Brownie chief of the biggest army. George Washington's grandma

"same color guide the tsa uses for people" litterally killed me

The freeze dried turkey tetrazzini in the cold weather MCWs is top notch.