It’s the worst thing to feel you’re not loved. That’s why I tell my children I love them every day. And I know they love me. And that is the greatest feeling in the world to know you are loved
Absolutely .. growing up in the 60’s and 70’s, I knew my parents loved me but I rarely, if ever got a hug and that definitely made me sad. I didn’t realize it until I was older. When my daughter was born I hugged her every single day and told her I loved her .. my sweet baby granddaughter was born a month ago and I can already see my daughter doing the same thing - she tells her and more importantly : SHOWS her That loving touch is so important
She’s one of my all time favorite singer, it’s so sad her mom didn’t realize how much she was hurting her own daughter. Thanks for sharing her story so respectfully
To this day, I cannot listen to her amazing voice without feeling my heart break and with tears. I just adored her. I hope I will meet her in heaven. I know what rejection from your Mother feels like. You were beautiful Karen, and loved beyond words.
No one expected Karen's talents to come forth. Richard was the focus at first. Yet he lingered close to her for his entire career. He seemed afraid to make any break from her or pursue a solo endeavor.
He's still milking her legacy in a way. Karen helped society to learn and grow so there was a knowing about the eating disorder. She hugely gave way more than any of us knew at the time or even thought much about later. Her life was not in vain.
Her anorexia was caused by Karen believing a news reporter after he called her chubby in an article. That was the beginning of her downward spiral. I've studied her life and read the book about her to know this.
Newport Beach was the house that Karen and her husband Tom lived in. Karen's mom and dad lived on Newville Ave and after 1979 Richard had been living at Lubec Street. After I think it was around January 1981, Karen actually moved out of Newport Beach and was living in one of her apartments next door to Casey Kasem for a while.
I think Agnes played a role . She clearly favored her son between the two while the father probably was neutral or loved them equally but wasn't super affectionate. When neither parent is affectionate it does affect you. Usually one is or tries to be at least. Richard tries or tried to control things perceived about their mother but when more that were around them are saying one thing versus one denying it you pretty much kniw majority rules .I do feel agnes loved in her own way (buying the drumset which was rare for females to play then,sacrificing financially for her kids dreams). So while I love you or hugs weren't thrown around in their family you realize your parents do love/care for you. It becomes normal not experiencing the touchy feely stuff but part of you does desire it at some point . Ultimately tho Karen was an adult and at that point you are no longer under the thumb of your parents unless they $uppport you into adulthood. That wasn't the case here. She just allowed Agnes to still dominate her life while taking control of her diet or body . It was a fatal choice unfortunately.
No one knows what it's like to have parents who continually put you down and make you feel like a loser. My Dad was a horror story, just like Karen Carpenter's mother, who almost ruined my life. Thank God I got away from those people when I was very young and managed to have my own life away from them, I could never do to my children what they did to me!
All Karen needed was her mother's love and understanding. She never got it. When her mother mentioned that she sat behind the drums while singing to hide her body, that started the eating disorder that lead to her death.
Its a very sad and tragic thing losing Karen Carpenter to anorexia. It's sad that she had to do the things she did to cope. The thing is food is the ultimate medicine for anorexia. It is nutrition that will get you well. I know as I'm doing everything I can do to get well.
Always when I see them performance ,I feel the sadness in her that make me want to comfort her and give her the feeling that's she been loved and that she noticed how beautiful she was, In and outside,miss her 😥and hope she is happy now in God,s garden..rip..sweet girl..❤❤❤
Watching their home movies ...3 times I heard various family members admonishing Karen’s mother for her disgusting outright barrage of criticism of Karen..gasping at times!
interesting thing, around 73 to 75 richard was dating karens hairstylist in the band. it was getting serious and karen and agnes put a stop to it. i really think the music business killed karen.
The actual answers rest with Karen herself. All other is just hearsay and conjecture and speculation. But the only thing that was fatal in Karen's autopsy was her extremely high glucol (blood sugar) level over 1100. Do you see or hear hyperglycemia mentioned anywhere? Me neither. Why not?
Usually when a person rejects their child..is because... THE child was a bastard. Harsh word..yes.. apologies! But perhaps the secret is this...mom had an elicit affair or assaulted..Karen is “remnant “ or constant reminder of this ugly time in agnus and Harold marriage. I have experience with this as a silent witness apart from carpenters ! Mother clearly hated Karen...no....RESENTMENT!
No matter what is said about Karen I still love 💕 her. One of the most beautiful voice I’ve ever heard yesterday and today. My love for her will never die
Paul Caron, I really love Karen Carpenter's voice 🎤💐💐 and she was an outstanding drummer 🥁💐💐, but I truly believe in spite of the fact that Karen Carpenter was troubled that she was a very kind💐💐🤗🤗 and sweet person💐💐🤗🤗 deep down. Karen Carpenter also had a really good sense of humor 😃😃which I think is really cool too!! I often wish I could have met her, but Karen Carpenter died😢😢🌹🌹 when I was a Child😢😥.🌹🌹.
What could anyone ever possibly say about her other than praise her? She is universally admired for her enormous talent and universally beloved for the torturous struggles she braved all on her own. These struggles were all internal and none of her demons were based on anything real. Her only failing was expecting perfection of herself. I suspect all creative geniuses face a similar struggle. Of course, for us it would be unthinkable to even contemplate the idea that the extraordinary musical talent that was Karen Carpenter would have ever thought of herself as less than. A truly unfathomable notion, and yet perhaps her quest for perfection may have in fact distorted her own self-image. Rest with the angels forever and always, sweet Karen! You're finally at peace. 💕💕💕💕💕
She was different than the rest of her family so she felt like an outcast. She was in need of love and affection, but her stoic family couldn't understand her. It's so very sad.
Almost spot on, her family WAS capable of showing love, they gave it all to Richard…Karen was emotionally starved ( no disrespect at all intended ) by her mother and therefore she deprived herself physically. She made the outside reflect the inside..her mother was the only one who could’ve ever saved her before she got to the point where she was too far gone.
Let us NOT FORGET, while Carpenter was indeed slowly recovering from anorexia & was slowly gaining back some healthy weight, she temporarily moved out of her Century City luxury apartment & BACK into the family home in Downey, CA, where proof shows that her mother, Agnes Carpenter was doing her BEST to nurse her daughter back to health; this is FACT. Close friends of Karen, like Newton-John & Warwick would make several trips from Hollywood Hills into Downey, adding to the much needed support system. Although Carpenter was showing improvements & was under excellent care of psychiatry, indeed her heart simply gave out; weakened by the years of strain & the disorder, that took a ravage toll upon her body. Those who wish to POINT all the blame on her mother, simply DO NOT understand the FULL COMPLEX FACTS of family dynamics, not to mention the extreme pressures of the "showbiz" factor, which I believe was much more the cause of the development of her anorexia, than simply, a somewhat strained relationship with her mother. It is both outright sad & deplorable that the media always takes the sensationalist view of people's fragile issues & demise, as fact & truth. BolsaChicaRadio
I never even knew any of the mother issues:( I was around 10 when this happened and I remember like yesterday seeing it on tv in my room:( it’s so sad! We all loved her but the one woman she NEEDED to love her just couldn’t :( and then to hear that she wouldn’t say it when the counselor told her to, that just proves she was a narc I believe. She couldn’t do anything on demand, she couldn’t say it if she was being told to say it which is so sad
Anorexia is a complex disorder. It is considered to be part of the spectrum of obsessive-compulsive disorders. The issues with her mother are probably only the tip of the iceberg in a family likely dysfunctional across generations.
@@pollypurree1834 Wow such a strong reaction. I think there's something in your own back round causing this reaction. I'd say most of societies issues are caused by people coming from less than nurturing childhoods. Karen Carpenter is an example of this. Lack of motherly love.
@Brian Walsh, you're being a deliberate jerk - your own issues can benefit from therapy rather than pathetically trolling RU-vid comments you don't understand. Eating disorders are not caused by a mean mom or gossip. Sit down.
Any eating disorder is. My bulimia that I suffered from. From many years from 12 years old to 19. Was caused by my mom. My mom always called me fat as a kid and always loved my younger brother more too. It does have to do with control. But also, self esteem. Insecurities. And all the skinny thin models we used to see growing up. Karen is one of the most relatable celebrities to exist.
I wonder if Karen's mother was jealous of her daughter's talent. Also, her dad was no mere bystander. No family is perfect. It's sad that Karen rebelled so hard in her own way she destroyed herself.
I'm in recovery from deadly anorexia. It was after multiple hospitalizations and being told by someone I respect very much that I reminded him of Karen Carpenter that I finally sought help.
The roots to almost everyone's problems always go back to the parents. It's a shame. You have to pass a test to drive, but anyone can be a parent. All you have to do is......well, you know !
Anyone can have a child but no not everyone can be or knows how to be a parent. Marriage & children is not for everyone. It's a heavy tough responsability. The job of a lifetime.
The media and her own family criticized her appearance, and that was what started her down that path with her weight, the laxatives, insulins, and thyroid medications. It seems she never felt loved...especially by the man she married, and what a terrible shame that a woman who sang so many pretty songs about love never really had it herself. But her diagnosis was psych, and that was the help she needed above all else and never got. I will never understand why her story ended the way it did. I've seen many of her performances towards her latter years when she looked ghastly from being extremely underweight. She had family and MANY friends who could have and should have forced an intervention to help her when she was so obviously ill and BEFORE it became necessary for her to have to go to a hospital. Her brother, who she was very close to, kept performing on stage with her looking like that. After she passed away, when he suddenly didn't have a career anymore, that's when he began going around talking about how sick she was and how much he missed her.
I agree with everything you have written. Totally absurd. Definitely a lot could have been done. And f... the media. What they have written about her is totally immoral. Reporters are generally senseless creatures anyway who have no consideration for someone's feelings. The whole thing is such a tragedy.
She’s one of my all time favorite singer, it’s so sad her mom didn’t realize how much she was hurting her own daughter. Thanks for sharing her story so respectfully
Where was Karen Carpenter when she collapsed? So despite being adored by millions of fans and having fame and fortune, Karen suffered from anorexia because her mother was domineering? So everyone suffering from anorexia has a domineering mom? I have to tell you, my mom loved me so much, always told me how beautiful and intelligent l was that l feel compelled to blame her for my being obese. No, you armchair psychologists, Karen couldn't be who she wanted to be because the critics wouldn't let up on her and Richard. Thin was in then and thin is in now. It wasn't good enough to have one of the most incredible voices ever, the critics labeled her " square " and " goody two shoes" Karen wanted to be sexy like Olivia Newton John. Karen was beautiful, but she didn't feel beautiful and that was the cost for being famous and always being under a microscope. Dead all these years and still under a microscope. My guess is Karen would defend her mom against these accusations, but people still would accuse her mom anyway. At 32 years old and able to be anywhere in the world, Karen chose her parents house and that's where she collapsed. Like the words in Rainy Days and Mondays state " the only thing to do, run and find the one who loves me".Karen knew her mom loved her and she loved her mom. Please, if you claim to love Karen so much, let her AND her mom rest in peace.
@@Vxjx15 people who suffer from mental health conditions, like myself, often want to blame others and not take accountability for our actions. Regardless of any and all of the terrible relationships in our lives, we have to own what we can control and are responsible for or we will never truly recover.
Karen had her own apartment in LA...she went shopping with her parents the day before looking for a new washer and dryer and then they went to lunch. She spent the night at her mom's house because they were going to go shopping again the next day as they still had not found the washer/dryer for Karen. She was in her closet getting dressed in the morning when she died.
Yes I've always thought that was the real reason for her eating disorder. I've never liked reporters anyway, generally very inconsiderate people. But after Karen's story, I simply despise them. Senseless creatures, only after getting "a story". Immoral. I'm so surprised that there is no mention of this aspect here, so for me this video is incomplete.
Karen was never fat. I have no idea why someone would say that about her. It's important to ignore the mean things some people might say because they're often wrong.
She’s one of my all time favorite singer, it’s so sad her mom didn’t realize how much she was hurting her own daughter. Thanks for sharing her story so respectfully
I was living in Houston TX. when she died. In the 70s and early 80s everyone was using amphetamines. People were dying of anexoria while hospitalized. Even liquids could not save them. I was 8 years old when first heard the Carpenters. My parents loved them and I remember us all singing along with our parents as we listened to pop radio in Memphis Tn.
it was the ipecac that killed her, prolonged use weakens heart muscles and ultimately leads to heart failure. Sad what happened to her, I dont think she knew it had that side effect. If it wouldve been the late 80s or early 90s maybe she couldve gotten better care and lived as anorexia was more of a household name by those times. Edit: grammar
anyone who takes 80 or 90 pills of laxatives are aware that they are playing with their life and can die any time. It is called unconscious suicide. She knew or at least felt that she could die any minute.
I was bulimic from 1977-1982. I didn't know there was a word for it. I feel you, Karen. People in those days treated bulimics as though they were clinically insane and disgusting.
@@dennismason3740 IKR?! My ED wasn't classic bulimia. It was what they now call an undefined eating disorder. I went through that until 1987. I wasn't vomiting after 10, 0000 calorie binges. I would starve, starve, starve. Exercise like an MF. Then I would break, have a fucking bagel, get guilty and scared, then purge. I stopped the vomiting the day I gave myself a bloody nose. But when I stopped, I still went on crash diet with milk products. I gained 25 pounds. And since I lived in LA and OC then, I was treated like a second class citizen, even by hired help in my parents home. I had weight gains being caused by an allergy to milk I didn't know I had. And eating what you're allergic to causes weight gains. Vomiting regularly causes the metabolism to slow down until you stop. I was such a mess because I couldn't get skinny, let alone emaciated. And like Karen, I was secretly hoping the abuse would stop if my body was thin. When I overcame THE ED. I had to maintain a weight that was still 10 to 15 lbs. over what I am now for years. It was the 90s. Body positivity wasn't FAT ACCEPTANCE for beached whales yet. So that was helpful. Getting rid of the milk I was allergic to was a total game changer. An after thought: even in the 90s lots of fat people were full of shit. We had to accept their fat bodies. But those fuckers regularly shamed me for having a crossed eye since 1995, and still do. The body acceptance just emboldened them to body shame others in public. And I can't have an operation without being blinded. But, I'm supposed to treat this like a simple nose job by these fucking ORCA DOPPLEGANGERS when my condition wasn't my fault, and half of them don't have allergies. Half the fat people do, half don't. So half of them ate gluttons who have earned shame, while half of them don't. So that's a total societal mind fuck. Thanks Dennis for opening this conversation. It was sheer Hell for me doing living through the 80s that way. And Fuck what everyone says. That horrible decade paved the way for what we're dealing with now. I'm glad we both survived. It must've been even harder for you as a guy. Less than 10% of the anorexics and bulimics diagnosed then were male. I was actually treated like a failure for not getting emaciated after all that, and felt like one. I was trivialized because I wasnt emaciated, even when I finally confessed to a couple of doctors. I can't even imagine the extra mind fuck a dude would be given for bulimia. RIP Karen. At least your music temporally eased the pain for people like Denis and me. We love you.
As the daughter of a narcissistic mother I know how devastating it is to know that no matter what mother’s love and approval will not be forthcoming. Sad to think Karen’s mother probably never recognized the gift that her daughter truly was.
I have all her music and I had no idea that her brother was domineering and he never talked about his mother or his father. She had the most beautiful and melodic voice I have ever heard and I will never forget her that I keep buying her music when she sings you still hear it afterwards. I miss Karen Carpenter and I'm sorry that her life was so suffocating. She was truly one of the best the most beautiful voice I have ever listened to and I will continue
I can’t imagine growing up with a unloving mother. I can’t think of anything more depressing. If her mother couldn’t even say, I love you when prompted, she was probably the main source of the problem. Would you guess maybe her mother was jealous of her? I don’t know, but I am quite certain that Karen needed her mother’s love more than anything else in the world. Sad story. If Karen was still around, she would still be touring, she is loved by millions and millions of people to this day.
I don’t think her mother was jealous at all, nothing Karen did was ever enough to get the attention, love and affection she so desperately sought from her mother. Some parents tend to favor one child over the other, but her mother loved her son so much that she put all of her focus, pride and joy onto him, even though Karen ended up getting her contract first, even though it was her voice that the world fell in love with an admired, even though she was the lead, the face and more recognized half of the group, her mother would credit Richard for all of the success and never learned how to love both of her children equally. It saddens me to say this but perhaps she never wanted another child or maybe she never wanted a daughter..there was nothing she could do or possess to please her mother, win her love or even make her jealous..she simply didn’t care for Karen..completely apathetic to her existence..
lindaeasley5606 I think it's sad too, that back in those days you were just supposed to love and bow down to your parents no matter what. People realize nowadays that no matter how much you love your parents, sometimes their behavior towards you can just be toxic as hell, and you either have to stay away from them or learn to let it roll off your back.
Her Mom Favored RICHARD and Karen Knew That, it was ALL about Richard to his Parents especially her Mother!! How Ironic that SHE was the one who became SOOOO Famous and Not really Richard but the damage was already done. Emotional Scars NEVER Go AWAY!!!! I ADORE Karen and Always Will!!!! xoxoxoxo
To have died at 32, Karen's passing is similar in pathos to the passing of Cass Elliot at the same age. Two voices snuffed out from tragic weight-related issues.
I'm not sure Richard was domineering, but her continued close association with him into adulthood was probably unhealthy. Within her circle of performers, not the public at large, they were all admiring of Richard, not just for his keyboard and arranging skills but his instincts for what would be a hit. They were all dependent on it. This continuation of her childhood with Golden Boy Richard made it hard for her to overcome her childhood insecurities. Abuse of Ipecac will damage the heart muscle which wasn't well understood at the time.
He pretty much controlled her artistic endeavors. When he was in rehab, she made an album of her own, but he hated it and squelched its production. Maybe not domineering, but controlling and in charge of The Carpenter sound and image even when it had nothing to do with him.
If I had been in Richard’s shoes, would have given my sister artistic decision making, as well as reminding her, and the public, that my sister is the reason we’re successful and here for you.
She had fame, money, extremely raw talent, and admiration from millions of people. What she didn't have was the woman who brought her into the world to show any sort of love and affection for her. Had her mother treated her like her daughter, she could've been saved.
It's hard for her to accept that Karen is the one who loved by millions of people..They keeps on saying that Richard is the one who form the sound of Carpenters,but it's the voice of KC that was heard by people.Her voice is the sound of Carpenters..KC can be a big Star even without Richard..Secondly,why a mother couldn't tell the word I LOVE YOU to her daughter?if you know that your daughter is loved by this entire world..What kind of mother are you?FOR YOU KC,WHEREVER YOU ARE NOW,THE WORLD IS STILL YOURS..THE LOVE YOU LONG TO HEAR IS HERE IN YOUR FANS..WE LOVE YOU VERY VERY MUCH.
The reason for Karen's death is very tragic. She opened up the window on eating disorders and in a lot of other ways she led the way to greater understanding of something very new to all of us back then. Was her mom a malignant narcissist? I used to wonder what Richard was really like. Karen left a huge legacy that even the golden child can't supersede.
It's sad when a parent only has love and affection for one child while the other one is ztanding out in the cold with knowing they're not loved. I wish Karen would have accepted the love of her friends and realized that her mother didn't have the love for her. Karen you are missed and loved.
It is heartbreaking to have a jealous mother , who never has never told you or shown you how much they love you. 💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔💔. This definately wud have contributed to the death of Karen carpenter. 🤐🤐🤐🤐☹️☹️🙁🙁❤️❤️❤️❤️ Who was beautiful inside and out. And had the voice of an angel. 😁😁😁😁😘😘😘
❤ I am a 66 year-old African-American woman and the Carpenters are my all-time favorite she Karen Carpenter has the most beautiful voice you could ever ever hear and once you do hear her you can never forget her and you will never ever leave her maybe I should say she will never ever leave you
I would say that more than 50% of the reason for her decline was being worked to death by record labels and promoters and with that came the scrutiny of music critics who were making comments about her costumes and appearance. Hundreds of shows on the road for something like 5 years straight and not being able to have a regular routine of eating and sleeping properly would harm anyone.
Partly yes. She was worked to death and she also lost a lot of control. She wanted to play the drums more insteading of singing, but she was denied because the record labels imagined a different 'image' for the Carpenters. Her brother was also dominating her, not to mention her mother who gave zero love for Karen and gave all the attention and love to his son, she was incredibly controling and overbearing. Karen had a busy life with no regular routine, she lost control of everything except what she ate so she decided to starve herself no matter what. It was a combination of these three things.
Karen didn’t even start singing right away - to think that the mother wouldn’t have heard that voice and said to herself “OMFG” shows that she didn’t really have much of an ear for music
If you read Little Girl Blue everything he says matched up. That book a is written about her with stories from her friends, co-workers, and boyfriends. Her mother was horrible and mean.
@@blackpinups I read Little Girl Blue. It's junk. All speculation and nothing actually from Karen just all this mind reading and second guessing and speculation and such. Try The Untold Story by Ray Coleman. Both books do actually have some problems as without direct input from Karen, many things can not be answered properly. At least the Ray Coleman book demonstrated that. As far as the anorexic profile thumpers , Karen honestly never fit that profile which is why all the psychobabble is just that, psychobabble. Try and protect that faulty profile at all costs. That faulty profile matches Cherry Boone to a T but is absolutely nothing like Karen Carpenter as Karen and Cherry were nearly exact opposites of one another. Karen never blamed her mom or her brother but some jackass named Rob Hoerburger writes a poorly researched article that gets published in the New York Times (and if you believe this paper is credible might I interest you also in purchasing the Brooklyn Bridge too) and people believe that nonsense. It is IMPOSSIBLE for a person to control another person's love or voice. Manipulation, but not actually control. And really, Rob Hoerburger writes an article about Karen's solo album (New York Times October 6, 1996) where Karen did an album with Phil Ramone and WITHOUT her brother Richard and Hoerburger tries to insinuate that Richard controlled Karen's voice? Yoohoo, dingbats, if Richard controlled Karen's voice then how was Phil Ramone able to do a solo album with Karen WITHOUT Richard? Yes, it is that stupid of a fictional article by Hoerburger. Karen never said her solo album was her "emancipation proclamation", Frenda Franklin said that to guess who, yup, Rob Hoerburger who then tries to pass it off as something Karen said. Once again, Karen NEVER said that her solo album was her emancipation proclamation and if people would buy the CD of Karen's solo and read the insert, Phil Ramone says that Karen shelved the album because Karen was worried about people falsely trying to say she was leaving the Carpenters when she had no intention of EVER leaving Richard or the group. Poorly researched (Rob Hoerburger and Randy Schmidt). And honest, do yourself a favor and look for that "Karen was chubby" article that Randy said existed in Billboard magazine. Exactly, there has NEVER been an article in Billboard magazine that ever said that "Karen was chubby". And on and on... Fiction writers always create an illogical mess that others have to try and clean up after, plain and simple.
Sorry... I doubt it *all* had to do with her mother. SMH And *what* is with the fake eyes at 0:55 ?? And this 3:45 is *NOT* Karen Carpenter. 5:52 This is *NOT* Karen either! Karen's first recording contract with Magic Lamp didn't "fall through" the label folded! 15:16 February 1st?? Karen died February 4th! Did you not do any real research?? 14:43 this is not the Carpenters! This video is a joke.
Agnes was part of the cause of Karen's anorexia but you make no mention of Karen's desire to have children and a traditional marriage, both of which could have been a relief for her anxiety disorder. That she married a man nine years her senior who was emotionally abisive, financially unreliable (he reportedly drained Karen's cash reserves to near zero) and flat out refused to give her children during their brief fourteen month marriage was cited by friend Karen Kamon as ""the straw that broke the camel's back. It was absolutely the worst thing that could have ever happened to her." Karen actually filed for divorce while hospitalized for her disorder. Karen Carpenter desperately desired to be loved by the very people who were incapable of giving love. And it killed her.
Marriage and children doesn’t cure anorexia or anything else. If you’re not in a good place to begin with, you’re in deep trouble as a spouse or parent.
Dude. The gold digger husband didn't "refuse her children", she was emaciated, unhealthy, and not even ovulating. She was so off course that physiologically couldn't have gotten pregnant even if she had wanted to.
I was a fan of the Carpenters as a young man and remember them well. They were successful at a time when Rock and Roll was changing drastically. They stayed true to what they liked to do with their music. After Karen’s death I remember Richard disappeared from the pop music scene for quite awhile but the music the Carpenters had recorded lived on. Richard returned to the world of pop music with an album tribute to Karen and the Carpenters. Today their music can still be heard as it is played by radio stations that play oldies and in the influence their music has on today’s groups. I am still a fan of the group and its two main members.
Richard's controlling Karen's recording sessions contributed to Karen's insecurities.refused seeing that.his mother got him hooked on quaaludes for sleeping how could agnes live with herself knowing she's responsible for killing Karen and still now Richard takes pot shots about her
i relate to her in the sense that she was surrounded by people but no one knew how to help her. the people around me would just criticize how thin i'd gotten. i don't think anyone around me knew how to help me in 2020, and i am sure that no one knew how to help karen back then. if only she had someone! i was able to recover only because i got really lucky with my therapist who saw me for free. but i was never a stage performer, and my image was never so closely scrutinized like karen's. i feel like i wish i could go back and help her 😭if you know anyone suffering from an eating disorder, i recommend you find gentle ways to suggest DBT therapy to them, consistently deposit your concern to them, and make it very clear to them it's a life-threatening disorder
Are we going to ignore the fact that she was also going through a divorce around her time of death, a major stress contributor in ones life. Rip Angel.
My heart has often ached for Karen Carpenter. Such a talented individual! I wish she and her brother would have been able to break free from the influence of inept parenting, though I also know it can be easier said than done. Despite all their struggles, they gave our world a lot of beautiful music.
Yeah. Thx. Her story is cruel. The mother was dumb presuming karen knew she was loved while she did not. The mother preferred the son. I wonder what the brother did about this. Did he support his sister in that injustice ??? It killed her ! And karen was the superior star & artist.
I'm sorry but that might not be 100 percent accurate but contributed to it, I'm sure. I remember this when it happened. There was a fan magazine doing a feature on the Carpenters after they were famous and there was a picture of her where she was overweight at the time and the writer mentioned it in the article... this deeply wounded her body image at the time. I saw the article and watched her slowly slip away after that.
I completely agree with your point. I believe the writer commented that she was chubby and that set her on the road to dieting. I think that one of the problems with anorexia is that when Karen looked in the mirror she didn't see the extreme weight loss. Her mind would play tricks on her and she would still see herself as overweight. The video didn't mention her marriage. If it had worked out maybe away from her parent's influence things might have improved.
She wasn't so much chubby due to body fat, but had gained muscle mass during '73 due to an intense fitness programme. This changed in '74 and Karen was on the slippery slope down. As we know this was only part of the problem.
agreed .. Mozart was another insanely gifted soul whose ethereal light was snuffed out so tragically soon. They were conduits for a force of pure genius; it consumed them.
There is no one causation of anorexia. There are people who suffer from the mental disorder solely based on internal factors. Even if external factors play a role, they are not the causation. A person cannot cause another person to be anorexic. That is a severely ignorant and frankly insulting claim. Someone could have a mother who did all of the same things and not develop anorexia. Also, it must be taken into consideration that these people are strangers and what is truly factual is unknown. All around, just a terrible misunderstanding of anorexia and a very callous and irresponsible video directed at a stranger you don’t know.
When I was a kid I was fat. I took the same diet,8 glasses of water a day and meat only. I did lose weight, but the diet was torturous. The Carpenters were my favorite singing group.
I think an eating-disorder will always be caused by different factors. It's very easy to blame one person for all. But I think it's wrong. There were more things that worked together. Both, Richard and Karen were very young, when they had this huge success. They enjoyed working together and make music together. But they had an incredible huge program to absolve over years. This is too much pressure for a human. And the press was also very cruel to Karen. She develloped the eating-disorder and Richard became addicted. Fortunately he overcome his addiction, Karen unfortunately not. Last but not least all the discussions changes nothing! A nice and amazing lady with a remarkable and unique voice passed away much too soon. I'm very thankful to Richard and Karen for their talents and gifts, they shared with us. They created all-time-classics with their music and I want to honor and celebrate them with listening to their unmatchable songs and bring them to younger people.
While you make excellent points, in this case Karen's mother Agnes played a huge, pivotal part in Karen's destruction. Most anorexics have a dominating parent. Furthermore, Richard was the Golden Child/Son-Husband. Karen was the scapegoat. Having to depend on Karen's talent to make Agnes and Richard's plans work pissed them off to no end. A lot of hidden jealousy of Karen fueled the situation. Also: After the horrible things done to the name Karen, at least Karen Carpenter won't be subjected to that on top of everything else. RIP Karen Catpenter
I understand this: my mother always said; you brother is the smart one, your sister is the pretty one…then there’s you. I didn’t need her approval, but it still hurt. She also said it was sad that I was happy in my marriage and my sister wasn’t, it just wasn’t fair.
Your mother was a mean-spirited, emotionally immature woman. Anyone should have been proud and beyond happy to have a daughter like you, Renae. Hang in there.
Me too, she is the prettiest artist with the most beautiful voice of all the times, and I will love her for ever. No matter what they keep saying about her family blaming her mother and this and that.
Karen’s problem wasn’t just a result of her mother. In high school, some of her friends made light of her weight. This began an obsession of her body for years. While her mother had favored Richard, her mother did actually love her, as did her father. The extreme dieting began when she and Richard began their grueling touring schedule from 1970. Being asked to step from behind the drums rekindled her attention to her body image. She was being asked to perform the ballads front and center. The tour took its toll on her brother as well, as he became addicted to qualludes. If they hadn’t toured so much, and had gotten help earlier, it’s possible she wouldn’t have died, and she’d still be with us. BTW, there’s a number of photoshopped images here, as well as photos of Karen Carpenter impersonators
She looked so much better with weight on her. Mother was jealous of her because she did nothing with her life. She was a b!tch but Karen should of not cared as much when she grew up. Stop saying 10 st 5lb is chubby at 5ft 4" it isn't it's healthy 😡
