Why Women Put Men in "The Friend Zone" & How To Respond 

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Just had an Eureka moment - women putting you in the friendzone is a lot like an employer wanting you to continue working for a company for no pay once you've been fired.

I had a girl in college pull this crap on me. She actually thought that giving me her friendship was better than dating me. She didn't understand that saying you want to be friends is one of the biggest insults you can say to a guy.

There is no such thing as being friends with most women, once she finds another guy, she will ignore you like the plague, and act like you don't exist. Their version of friendship is only calling you when she has issues.

Never do friendzone. Politely remove yourself. She will never respect you.

"You're basically the first-place loser if you're not her first choice." Spot on, Rich!

When a women tells me she just wants to be friends I keep it real simple for her, I tell her "I'm simply not looking for another friend, I have plenty of friends." Based on her response I either stay or leave. Very simple fellas.

"You didn't get the job, but we'll keep your CV on file in case of any future openings". Bro, just ghost her.

If you get friend-zoned, just LEAVE. It's not easy, but it will only get worse for you. A women HAS to love you more than you love her if you want a long term healthy relationship with her

Never accept friendzone. Why should you force yourself to deny, minimize and moderate your feelings for her. Never content yourself with something less than what you want. Would you like to be invited to her wedding party, as a friend, while the other guy is waiting for her at the altar and you are on the bench? Annihilate whatever is left on that relationship and find someone else. I´ve been friendzoned and leaving was not a question. It was an answer.

Getting thrown in the friendzone gives you the chance to practice walking away... use it and become a master... then you will never be "just friends" again. Thanks Rich!

When a woman put you in a friend zone is like company that just rejected your aplication but phone you every day to complain about how bad their new employee is

Another thing I forgot to mention in the video, is there is a real possibility of getting "Forrest Gump'd" ... meaning she shows back up with the alpha seed in her, then she expects her 'friend' to take care of her problems.

Went through the EXACT same situation. Richard's advice is the ONLY way to play that hand. Politely decline, no contact and don't talk sh*t about your ex to mutual friends. Be stoic and strong and move on. That display of strength may actually entice your woman back but you shouldn't accept her return. Behavior like that is pathological and she'll do it again after you waste considerable time waiting for the other shoe to drop. The juice ain't worth the squeeze.

Last time a woman told me she just wanted to be friends I said I was just going to say the same thing .. she said I was awesome and I said yes I am .. about 2 weeks later she called wanting to get back together and I said I really just want to be friends and besides that I just started dating someone .. gotta say that was really satisfying

Once friend zoned, politely retrieve/give back accumulated possessions ASAP - that moment. Don't make prolonged eye contact, don't attempt to kiss her goodbye. Go home, block in social media, phone, email, shred relevant photographs. Failure to do so leaves room for manipulation, like getting recruited to for some mundane task. Don't sneak a look at her social media or inquire about her from anyone else. Now, heal for a season.

She found a man that she believes is attractive, and if things don’t work out with her and him then she wants to come back to you. Simple. As soon as they pull that stunt just ended right there.

I had this with a woman I dated a while back. It is not just a friend zone. If she goes out with you for a couple of dates and said she wanted to move a bit slow and keep on looking, it means she has other choices. I let her go and stop contacting her. Guess what, she didn't even text back. You got to make sure a woman has genuine burning desires for you. If she felt bored or has the slightest issues with being around you, just find another one. Always remember, there are 50% of people who are ladies out there, and out of that there are plenty of good women that you should spend your time with. What I have learned from cooper, in short term, is that uses a female dating strategy against women. It works and it keeps them in check.

In 2002, I recall meeting this woman and we got along very well, then one day out of the blue, she wanted to be friends. I said no thank you and moved on. Days later she called to talk to her boyfriend (which I knew it was to see how I would react) and I told her, that I am not interested in their issues. Two months later, she called and told me they had broken up and if would it be possible that we can go out. My response once again...NO. After that, I have not heard from her again.

I'm going through this exact phase, she all the sudden lost interest and the connection went off, even after breaking things off she contacts me here and there and wants me to stick around as she didn't want to loose my completely but want to be friends. Never be the back up plan !!

If this happens, you must block her and cease all contact. It is vital to block her number. She's not living rent free in my mind. She'll be sporadically sending you texts to make sure you're thinking about her, she doesn't want you pursuing other women. Block her and talk to other women, don't give her a second thought.

At that age... she has determined this guy is the one she keeps around as a back up when the alpha doesn't want her. Us women will take actual beatings, debt etc just to be loved. If she won't be submissive and make you her priority she isn't serious about you.

I once came across a place on the internet where women got together to confess and commiserate bout being married, some with children, with nice guys only to go to bed thinking about their ex or the guy they couldn't have. This is what happens to many of the guys who wait patiently in their friend zone. They become the men these women settle for but end up resenting.

Men should never feel "safe" and "in love" with someone without preparing themselves for the on/off nature that is called women's feelings

I don't even talk to women for that long if we're not even sleeping together. Anytime a girl wants to initiate contact but has already rejected a date or meetup in the past. I simply ignore.

Being in the friend zone is a reflection of your the perceived ceiling they have for us.

Some women like to maintain a number of orbiters. I think they see it like having assets on hand: Free handyman, tech support, psychologist, bodyguard, entertainment when she's bored, and of course some lovin if there's nothing better right then.

Never accept the friend zone! It’s nothing but a waste of time, more so the man’s time is wasted. The woman still gets to go hustle and when someone breaks her heart then she’ll look to you, friend for help. Big girls can deal with their own problems. Don’t be a shoulder to cry on when she’s not willing to whole heartedly be there for you!!!

I haven’t had this happen yet but the moment a woman says “friend”, she instantly becomes recreational use only forever.

This happened to me when I was 25 and my girlfriend at the time was 23, we dated for eight months. We never said the "L word, but we had a strong connection. Out of the blue, she just wanted to be friends. Women don't end a relationship until the next guy is secured, so even just talking to him, she was already cheating. I was a moron for agreeing to be in the friend zone over two years, listening to her complain about more than one boyfriend, family health problems and carpooling with her to our work. It can really hurt, but try to move on, because it most likely won't happen again and you can't get that wasted time back.

I approached this girl at the gym we talked twice for like 10 min each . I eventually shot my shot she sent me a 5 paragraph message on why she wants to be friends. I'm glad I left her on read. I saw her with some next man a couple weeks later.

I agree 100%!!!! If a woman puts you in the friend-zone, she is really not that into you nor does she see you as LTR material. Simply have a mindset of abundance and move on with your life and follow your dreams and goals without being distracted by women ....

This clip came in handy because yesterday my young brother told me that the girl he was dating told him "Let's just be friends", and I was telling him the dangers of not walking away from her, exactly like Richard pointed out.

She wants him to hang around to do some physical work for her.... or loan (give) her money when she needs it . It will become ALL about her NEEDS I assure you.

Just cut contact !! ✂️ But of course, when attachment and emotion are involved, it is not easy to DETACH !!

This is the type of advice that could save a lot of time and heartbreak for guys if taken in and utilized.

She wants to monkey branch. But she’s not sure about the other relationship. She wants to keep her beta on standby.

It's so sick to have people like you Rich, who share their knowledge and help us. Thanks

She wants to be friends = she wants to keep you in the back drawer so if things don't work out with her better choices, she will come back and find you. It's really better to let her go. Yes, there are guys who gets promoted from 5th or 7th choice to become her husband, but... is that even worth it? She put herself out cheap for other men but made you go through hell for her

Yep, I definitely know about this from experience. She would tell me about how her boyfriend acted like a jerk and how they broke up, she blocked him, and was never talking to him again. Never just meant until she changed her mind. Then later she called me to help move the furniture when he should have been the one to do it. I'm pretty sure she only spent time with me when he made her mad. Never again. I don't care how badly I want to spend time with a woman.

I’ve been in this situation and it costed me dearly in terms of sanity and self worth. After that experience, someone tried to friendzone me again and I walked away within 10 seconds, without even thinking about it. NEVER AGAIN.

Never try and "win her back", number one rule. Never try and be friends with her.

Guys, regardless of how much it hurts, saying NO to the friendship is the best thing to do. What will hurt even more is wasting your life being a chump waiting for her when you got be with someone who appreciates you.

Props to this guy for at least giving a solid 'no' to being friends, now he knows why that instinct is right

I agree. The point of interest must totally have genuine burning desire and a passion for you -- otherwise, you're setting yourself up for a disaster. If she's on the fence or half in it and half not, let her go.

The best response is just... "OK no worries" then silence. If she instigates something then you set the frame. If she doesn't it tells you everything you need to know. As Rich once put it you only have so many Fs in your life to give. Don't waste them

A woman never puts a man in the friend zone, she just offers him to be there. It upto the man whether he accepts the offers or not.

If she suggests "let's just be friends", I just reply, "let's just be F. buddies", if she accepts, that's OK, if not leave! (the second she suggests that crap, a relationship is finished)

If they friendzone you for any reason just say (No thank you) and block and ghost them. If they don't meet your standards because they have kids or are divorces or are pretty but too old or are feminists etc etc etc then you friendzone them. And meet women through them.

Absolutely agree, every woman has orbiters she uses for free attention, while you get the minuscule hope of one day getting picked... learn from your mistakes and move on from any platonic friendship offering. It will do nothing but fuck with your head and waste your precious time and energy.

Stay single forever guys and leave these female scammers alone

I was actually in a similar situation once and being very blunt, I said no to her friendship. She got mad and very condescending even though I was very clear as to what I wanted. I look back on it sometimes and laugh.

First mistake was “expressing your deep love for this woman”. She no longer needed to work. Best thing to do is move on.

Went through this bacc when i was 20, 21. Spent an entire summer with a chicc... spoiling her, looking out for her, spending as much time as i could with her. Boy! Was that a mistake. Did not realize what was happening until at literally at the end of summer she was like "thanks for everything, but ima take all the things you have done for me and use them to be with someone else!" Talk about an arrow through the heart, and Cupid was not the archer! She wanted to still be "Good Friends," and at first, i was cool with it, but she would always use me as an emotional tampon leanin on me for emotional support but goin to him for the other support. Drove me crazy!!... it took a min, but i got away from that situation altogether. Stopped all contact with her and took a 6 month iso period and changed everything body, style, finances, and mindset. Everything changed! And i have to say it was all worth it! To be improved in so many areas, even if at 1st it was from a place of pain and jealousy, was an unfathomable feeling. I would really bear the fruits of my labors when her cuzzin would invite me to a little get-together he was having. Imagine her surprise seeing a new and improved version of me! New car, new hairstyle, 15lbs of added muscles, tattoos and piercings, and a slightly refined adjustment to my wardrobe!! The look of envy on her face was more than i could ask for! And to find out she wasn't with the dude anymore made it all the better! But this was the kicker. It turns out she got pregnant, and he told her to get rid of it. Which she did, only for him to turn around and say that he didn't want her to do that... Bruuuuuuhhh FUCKED her head all up! It wasn't too long before she was bacc to being what she was before we spent the previous summer together. We caught up a bit and i wished her all the best in her future going forward! Karma a bitch with a helluva to do list!

There is only one situation I can imagine you can accept friend zone from a chick: 1. you don't want to date her, maximum fwb; 2. you have other women in your life you are intimate with; 3. she has network of other women you can meet through her or can be beneficial in any other way. In this case you can play along to benefit from her being around. But if you *want* her - just cut and run.

If she says that just reply with “ok yeah that’s sound like a great idea let’s slow down and work on making our friendship stronger “ then block her 😂

At the beginning of dating a chick, she told me a long list of things she won't tolerate from a guy. We kept seeing each other. Many of the things she said she won't tolerate from a guy, she ended up doing with me. The "with you" comment is 100% true. If you are in this situation, do not take this shit.

It took a while for me to learn, but women don't put men in the friend zone as much as men decide to stay there.

Girl - Let's be friends Me - great, Pizza and beer are on you next and *POOF* she is gone

The Friend Zone doesn’t exist. It just means she’s not into you but wants to keep you around as a tool to fix her crap, work on her car, move her heavy crap, repair her roof, etc. Some women even have the gaul to intro you to her BF and ask if you could teach him how to ride motorcycles, play guitar, be his buddy, …

I’m currently going through a breakup after 4 years. Girl said she loves me, “maybe there’s a chance for us together in the future” or “I’ll call you once every 2 weeks to check on you”. HOLY S*** this is an eye opener man. I really have an opportunity to make this go my way. Thank you so much for not allowing me to call back looking for cuddles at 3am 😅😂

I just found myself in this situation on NYE! I told her I'm not interested in being just friends since I don't sleep with or date my friends!

If and when she wants you as a friend, accept it without a display of emotion. Walk away and use this time t ok refine yourself and level up. Never take them back unless you can just use her for pleasure.

men put themselves in the friend zone with women based on how they approach and deal with them, when the women says "I see you as a friend" its just her feedback on what you did in your interactions with her.

Spot on, no one remembers second place. Let alone someone who is targeting first place. Just a stepping stone, with the emphasis on Stepped On. Don't be that guy.💪

She wants him as an emotional buddy

“If you ain’t first you’re last.” - Ricky Bobby

I was in this scenario sort of. My theory is if they "really" want to be friends with you then go ghost and see if she reaches out to you. The last girl that friend zoned me I haven't spoke to in about 6 months and she has never tried to contact me. Her loss not mine.

It's simple. She's not attracted to you but still sees a use for you or she believes she can do better and just wants to keep you in reserve in case she doesn't find her Prince Charming.

A man has the confidence to take his losses with dignity. A man is humble and does not cower in the face of defeat. A man stands by his word alone, and doesn't feel a need to force others. A man leads by example, not force, nor through threats or violence. A man is not a coward, and doesn't cry just because others are different. A man defends those who are less able to defend themselves. A man never kicks down at those with less power.

I had a similar situation going a couple of years back with an ex. We had already been dating for a while and the comment about going back to being just friends came out of nowhere for me. I told her I had already done stuff with her that I would never do with a friend, and as such couldn't see her as one. Told her that I would be better off if we went our separate ways if she insisted on that. She seemed hurt I had no intention of just being her friend, she ended up walking that comment back and we had another good year together before we decided to end the relationship. It might have been better to just let her go that first time she brought that up and look for someone else. In the end though, there was no drama, no hard feelings, no "other guy" and I had a good time for the remainder of the relationship.

There's a good chance she'd entered the relationship with him knowing he was option #2, then option #1 finally came around

When i wasnt RP, i was always thrown in the friendzone cuz i never knew the value of establishing desire of some kind. After i became RP, the female "friends" i had i immediately removed from my messenger app. didnt explain myself just done. also guys, if u ever do this and think " wont she call me out?". 99% chance she wont. trust me. lol and even if she does, who cares?

that was one hell of a truth bomb. Women are users of men. It's built into them biologically. Don't let yourself get used

If a woman that you have been smashing for a year wants to put you in the friendzone your D game is weak.

She wants to keep all of the benefits of being with you while dating whoever she is attracted to, and yes she also wants to keep you as a back up plan. It's a huge NO, you have no business interacting with her after she expressed that.

Had the same thing happened to me. Mine was only a month or two. Responded with a “no thanks” blocked and deleted. I don’t even remember her name… Next.

And guys in the friendzone are not just back up, they become potential fathers should she get knocked up by Chad. She'll come running to you when he refuses to commit so you can get a quick one in before it starts showing.. Stay smart fellas, say no to these 304s

The second a woman asks to be your friend she should be dead to you. 1) Ask if s3x is off the table 2) If it is, ask which one of her friends she will connect you with (and most likely she will say nobody) 3) if that is the case.. run.. run away.. she will call again and treat her accordingly...

Rich, you are so right. It happened to me. It was rough for about a year and then the sky was blue as could be again! I have a very good friend who was pining away for this woman who was engaged twice in about a 6 year span. Both times the guy broke up with her. She finally settled for Mike when he was about 40 and she was 37. She wanted a kid really bad. They are still together 25 years later, no kids, but she settled, make no mistake about it.

I don't know how you do it, but this is exactly what I needed to see today... Thank you!

Killing it my man!

Basically if it's 10pm on a Saturday night and she's not with you, don't invest any more time or money into her. Chances are she's with someone else and will wake up Sunday morning with a dude next to her. At this point she's not worth another thought when there are plenty more fish in the sea. I never get upset when "friend-zoned", in which I have several times because its humbling, makes me work harder and serves as a good lesson a woman can turn on you in an instance.

Same thing if you're living together and the relationship is a dead end. Last one I moved out from begged me to stay as a roommate and keep paying the bills. Hard pass. Made her pack up all my stuff while I was at work since she had unpacked it and hid it all over the house. Got my stuff and bounced!

Over the years I've had several women try to friend zone me and I told them all the same thing...sure we can be friends from a distance

Dude wouldn't be in that situation if she had genuine burning desire for him. At best, he's a back up plan.

This happened to me this year and basically destroyed my life if only I’d have known better….and I should have known better. Thankfully we don’t talk anymore after finding out she was using pictures that I took of her on our days out for her dating app…..

Exactly. Here is how to avoid the friendzone: Never be friends with women you showed interest in.

This is VERY simple . . . YOU set the precedent up front before you even meet for the first time . . . I do this every time I think I like a woman and want to meet as the phone conversation is going well . . . and this is what I say EVERY TIME "We are either going to be lover or ex-lovers but we will never be friends" and it works every time for me as I just established frame and dominance before we even meet Any questions just ask 😏

If she just wanted to cheat, she would be asking for a break or an open relationship. The just be friends thing is because he's useful to her in some way. Either he does things for her, or listens to her blab about nothing for hours. Either way it's a wrap.

I needed this 30 years ago. Love the channel

At various points in my life (I’m 44) I’ve been the beta guy put in the friend zone and the alpha guy a woman left her bf for. Rich is 100% spot on here. Play your cards wisely

Very good video. This makes so much sense. And it's exactly what happened to me in my 20's. And I got wrecked. This woman kept stringing me along. She would break up and a couple of weeks later while I was just getting over it and say "would you like to go for a picnic?". She even held my hand one time at an event. And the next day she was gone! There was another guy, I later learned, and he was doing the same thing to her! But when she finally completely ended it, she said something to me that really went like knife into my heart. I lost all my confidence after that. And I could not find anyone for years. I was really smashed and when the girls picked that up they would run. I could never figure out why she did this but this video has put the nail on the head.

To the writer of this letter and all the men out there in this same situation: never be that guy, never just be friends. This is a pivotal point in your life. Your life and your happiness are so much more valuable than her. Take time and work on your body and your finances. I'd also recommend cutting off Kevin from Accounting and Steve from Sales. You don't want people like that in your life either.

So true. The moment they low interest of you become 2nd choice. Get out of there. Block them if you have to. It’s not worth it

You are 100% right on with this one!

Women can't be a friend they really have nothing to offer but have a list of needs

That was very well said. Perfect advice as always. Thank you for the work you put into your videos.

It means: I don't feel enough spark, or have any interest in you. So I wanna keep you as my safety net, just in case it doesn't work with the men I REALLY want. Response: I'm sorry you feel that way, but I have other intentions. I guess I'm done with you, and I wish you all the best. Walk away, feel the sadness in private and move on. Don't be her safety net!

Rock. Solid. Truth. Thanks Rich!