Why You Feel Unlovable 

Reaching out and needing connection equals pain This hits deep.

No one is unlovable, but it seems that there are people for whom love does not happen. It's not that it can't happen, just that it continues to not happen.

Ok wait this one has my attention… it’s just too relatable. Take care of yourselves guys, you need to find ways to promote self-love, especially when others can’t love and accept you for who you are.

Timestamps 1). An early defining moment 0:41 2). Rejection and abuse 1:36 3). Shame 2:18 4). How to heal 3:03 Hope this helps you out. Hope you have a nice day. 💙💙💙💙💙💙

This is relatable. I couldn't get enough marks in science and maths and my family started hating me for it. It was as if they stopped giving me that little bit of love i used to get from them. Although things have now improved i still can't get over it. My family always tries to make themselves look good in front of other people. They make excuses about my mental problems and always make me feel like I'm a burden to the family and that I never should've been born. I just envy those who have healthy relationship with their family and loved ones

Relatable... I feel that I am only valuable when I do things that my peers and parents want me to do at 100%. If I dont do that myself as a person is worthless and unworthy of love. I am only loved when I work hard. I am not useless, I am worthless because anyone can replace me.

Timestamps 0:41 An early defining moment 1:39 Rejection & Abuse 2:18 Shame 3:03 How to Heal? That's it Hope it helps!

It's also important to realize that, apart from being loved, you are love.

I want to leave the planet so badly sometimes. I just feel I’m not meant to experience the happiness I desire, and if I’m not, I don’t want to continue suffering here

I was never in an abusive relationship. I WAS the abusive relationship. My feeling of being unloved comes from hating myself. Being bitter and ashamed of the things ive done. Feeling like ive betrayed life itself and now it will punish me for the rest of my days by keeping me with a perpetual feeling of loneliness.

This is probably the most common kind of thoughts that wake me up in the middle of the night preventing me from getting back to sleep.

This one made me cry because it's so true to me. I was rejected from the beginning and often in my life. It's hard to heal but I am trying.

i guess i'm not the only one who is feeling like this, right?.. it' hard to believe that you deserve love or that someone loves you... thanks for the video !!

Today I reached out to my girlfriend whom I haven't heard from in a while, and told her I miss her and hope to see her soon. Shortly after, I had a mental image of my mom being annoyed or frustrated from when I was younger and would ask for her in some way, and saw very clearly one of the things that makes me afraid to ask for my girlfriend which makes me feel like I am intruding or being a burden.

This is so relatable. My mind was telling me, that I don't deserve love from anyone, that's where the depression comes from. Now, I'm going to therapy and I'm also taking meds to help me feel better about anything. I almost always write about love in my poetry because I'm INFP-T, and I watch and read ROM COMS a lot, also sone funny comics, too.

So sweet, so true. No matter how tough and impenetrable we think we are, we need love...just as we did when we were very young.

That's true. I felt unworthy of love almost my whole life and then I met a person (no not romantically, for anyone who's single and stuck in a mentality that they'll never find love) who appreciated me for me. Loving relationships can TRULY rewire your brain. I don't know how long it'll last but I'm happy someone finally showed me that I'm lovable and helped me with my self-esteem in such easy way.

Painfully relatable, all of these points. Here's my story if someone wants to read. And before I start I'd like to say, you guys aren't alone and you all have my best wishes. ❤ My family always dismissed me as being too needy and demanding, and any time I'd make some mistake as a kid, they'd always carry on about it for years until it was to the point I developed self-hatred. That was pretty much my whole life until a few years ago. I'm almost 27 now and I'm slowly but surely healing. I still struggle with feeling unlovable at times, but I'm trying to keep in mind at least I have friends who love and care about me, even if my family is toxic. At the thought of anyone caring about me, I start to cry. But I'm slowly trying to default to positivity. So slowly, but I definitely am.

this video was released at the right time as what I'm feeling rn, thanks Psi

I wanted to thank you guys for your videos. they truly get me through so much and is my comfort channel. thank you

Have a nice day, everyone. Remember that you're loved no matter what :)

I felt this way for a long time and videos like this one helped me realize, I am actually more lovable then I gave myself credit for. I actually was loved I was just so in this melancholy and hopeless emotional state that I couldn't see that there were people around me that actually cared and possibly loved me. I just needed to look up and recognize what they were trying to show me to see it. So, I am very grateful for what I am learning from these videos and it is helping me redefine my surroundings and how to better read the people around me. I still have a long way to go but it has helped me make progress even though at times I feel like I was rather dumb when I let my emotions run my life but that realization helps me become better. Now I wish I can find those people that did try to show they cared and thank them for trying to help me. I don't know if I can but as long as I live my life the way it should be I guess that can be thanks enough to them.

This video makes me think of Heinz Doofenshmirtz from Phineas and Ferb. His whole life, his parents emotionally abused him and never loved him for not being good enough, they replaced him with better sons like Roger and only son. Heinz was told that he was a failure by his professor and that he makes her sick, and his own daughter Vanessa is completely unable to love him despite of how nice he is to her and everything he does for her. Also Linda broke up with Heinz Doofenshmirtz just like everyone else got mad at him and hated him for being a failure who messes up all the time.

I definitely identify with this as someone with abandonment issues but therapy, self-reflection and dating have helped me to combat these feelings better. To anyone reading this: You matter, you are loved and you are not what those persons made you feel like. ^_^

I think the problem is more like being unloved than being unlovable

This helped me a lot on my understanding, keep up the good work ❤️

As Maslow wrote years ago, love genuinely is a foundational experience toward thriving at all levels. When Paul McCartney and John Lennon sang, in 1967, "all you need is love," they totally nailed it.💙💙

I am 67 years old. I have never had a loving relationship with a woman in my lifetime. The words "there's someone for everybody" just agrevates me. I stopped looking for "the one" aged 30/35. There isn't a miss right in the world for me. Self-esteem and self-confidence were bullied out of me at school from ages 5 to 16.

This video couldn't have come at a better time. I have been really struggling with this due to the circumstances that I am in. This video lists most of what makes me feel like I am unlovable but I have been working on that. Great video as usual and thanks a lot to the team at Psych2Go for the amazing videos you guys make. I have learnt a lot about myself and others through your content and really appreciate the work you guys are doing 😄❤️

Sometimes, I feel unlovable because there are others that think I’m not good enough. And I keep doubting myself. I realized that it’s not the case.

A stranger online once told me “who are you and why should you be loved and cared for”. Gotta love 2023

Feeling unlovable started in middle school for me. I was bullied for years over my weight and social quirks. As everyone developed needs for connection, I was bullied for that too. Kids would tell girls I had a crush on them just to embarrass them, watch the disgust on their face. They would act nice to me just to laugh to the themselves if I thought it was genuine. Reaching out wasn't even a thought because I didn't have to say anything to be put down for it. I'm in my mid 20s now and despite years of self care and personal developement the thought of reaching out when I'm lonely or want to socialize makes me scared and angry at those memories. This kind of stuff sticks with you and working through it is a long journey, one that I still have a ways to go on unfortunately.

We need to love ourselves! (: I've found that I can't expect others to fulfill this feeling... It just never works. I have to love myself to truly feel loved. ☀️☀️

Thanks for bringing me one step closer to reconciling with myself, folks- I sincerely hope y'all the best for well-being, mentally or physically

Of all your videos, this one hit me the most and brought me to tears. Crazy how childhood trauma and abuse could really set you up for all these "unlovable" feelings.

Thank you for giving me ammo to fight my battle. I've struggled with this for a very long time, and this video brought me to tears. I'll keep going until not only do I feel lovable again, but until I can truly feel the love that the ones I value show me.

Speaking as someone who feels undeserving of love, it's difficult to convince someone they're deserving of love because they don't understand why or how. You can't just say no one is unlovable or that someone out there loves you because often the question that'll be brought up is "what makes me lovable?" "Why do i deserve love?" "What would people like about me?" If you want to explain to someone why they're lovable, using real-world examples in regards to who they are and what they do can further cement the idea that maybe they do deserve love.

Yes, thank you for this amazing video! Needed to hear this. Love the positivity!! 💖🥰😇🙏

It’s a really difficult topic for me. I know I’m far too old to be dealing with these feelings, but I’ve found myself trapped in a situation that I can’t find a way out of. In a nutshell, im now the primary caregiver for my parent who psychologically and emotionally abused me all through my life. It’s lead me to a place where I’ve had to step away from nearly every relationship I’ve ever had with people my own age in order to provide 24 hour care for someone who has told me numerous times that I don’t get to have a life other than the one she wants for me. I know im unlovable because I empowered this situation. I can barely handle it myself, let alone drag someone else into this. I just wish I could have been stronger when I had the chance to put this behind me, but I’m hardwired for guilt and empathy, and the thought of hurting her is something I just can’t do. Yet I still dearly wish I could have had the chance to have a mutual loving relationship….

Reaching out and needing someone will always feel painful to me, I'm going to be 30 this year and never shared a loving connection with someone, there's hardly any opportunity for me to meet new people, and when i do i dont have the social experience to take it to the next level and the few times i did try i just get friend zoned, or I'm met with "it'll happen someday" by people who are already in relationships, they don't know what it's like to be alone that way for over a decade. Therapy is no good because they suggest everything that doesn't apply to me and my circumstances, my hobbies are things most of the population doesnt involve themselves with.

Man I have no idea what the hell happened to me because I relate to some of this but I can’t remember anything that would’ve happened to make me feel this way

I just finished watching your video and it hit close to home for me! I have one other sibling and she's "The golden child" ..... According to my parents, always the problem child, the trouble maker, instigator, the never do anything wrong nor admit she's done anything wrong, and the baby!!! Me ... The oldest child, the quiet child, the stays mostly out of trouble child, dependable one, reliable one, trustworthy one ..... And got pushed a side years ago. Forgotten about and abandoned at a young age, when my parents and sister "want me in their lives" or "want something from me"! So yeah I know the feeling of unwantedness very well sadly! 💔😢

This is relatable. I'm suffering from mental health issues. I have nobody. I'm all alone. I'm taking care of myself 💜

This video made me weep and break down in tears! 😪This was exactly me growing up, being abused, and having a family that didn't give a shit, and even now, years later, I still get feelings of: "I'm not good enough for anyone", and "I wish I were not me, but someone else". Being an INFJ doesn't help matters either!

I feel this channel is a message from universe. The videos just pops in whenever i'm in the darkest mood❤

Your videos helps alot, I can't go and tell my problems to anybody because I feel so uncomfortable to tell about my feelings and problems but your videos help even without saying a word to anyone ❤

I'm at the coffee shop. my 38 year-old ass... bawling with this video. I relate. but I also look back at everything and how much I've overcome over the past decade. I am in a better place without the abusive people in my life. 3:19 - even after years of therapy, I somewhat struggle to believe this, but I do know I am deserving of love... the ex wife leaving was a huge factor for this... i sustained traumatic brain injury and survived a murder attempt... it wasn't my fault, I didn't know recovery was going to take so long. For anyone that needs to read this: You can make it through, I believe in you. Keep going 🥺

I really needed this

Definitely going to give this a few more watches. Thank you for sharing this 🙂

That was a wonderful video. Thank you. Your videos seem to come into my feed exactly when I need them. I love the animation and the calm, lovely voice and atmosphere in all of your videos. Keep up the amazing work!! I’ve always said that mental health is vital to the wellbeing of all of us. No one should fear talking about how they feel. It’s important to change society’s mindset about how you feel. Feelings are valid. Should be shared to understand each other and help each other through healing our minds. Suicide should not be taboo around the dinner table. Too many people don’t share how they feel for a lot of reasons. Shame, guilt, fear Children should be raised to feel it’s ok to share their thoughts with their parents and siblings. Don’t keep allowing them to sit Alone with bad thoughts because they’ll fester and rot Get darker and deeper into a pit of depression. Either they try take their life as a cry for help and accidentally take it too far and die or they succeed. Sometimes the trauma that comes from trying, gunshot wounds. Overdoses etc Or just the traumatic experience of that act can be devastating. Take care of others sometimes just listening is all anyone needs Feeling like it’s ok. No judgement say whatever you need to say attitude with others can be a blessing to another person

First of all, many thanks to thé while team for all your videos and the work you do to create these, and also for how active you are on this channel Concerning the video itself, and the one about personnal redflags, you've confronted me to my reality. I'm shaming myself all the time for mistakes I've made, and I'm putting myself down suite frequently. I identified these problems within me long ago, yet I wasn't actively looking for help, despite needing it. So, after I'll finish the mission I'm currently doing, when I reach home, I'll start a therapy Thank you again for reminding us that we aren't beyond Hope, and that we shouldn't hesitate to look out for help

amazing it almost like you guys post when i start to feel down and know exactly why i'm down and what to say to help not only me but everyone experiencing this to feel better

It’s beautiful thank you for helping I needed this video 🥺💘!

40 years of therapy, and I still feel unlovable. It's not easy to overcome

Thank you - I needed this video today.

Thank you for posting this, I was feeling like this ❤

Thank you very much❤❤❤ this video really helped a lot

This vid appeared in the right time, thank you. I needed that to overcome a bit of my frustrations

This video got me really emotional... Had some tears running down my face..

It's so difficult to tell yourself you deserve something that can only be given to you by some else. On top of that, if you don't have the feeling of having done anything to deserve it, it becomes even harder. I am not an interesting person and I have trouble having good conversations with people. How is anyone ever going to be interested in a person like that? And even if I did deserve to be loved, that doesn't mean anybody will ever love me. Deserving something doesn't always mean that you will get what you deserve.

I got broken up with by my first love around a month ago, and i've been feeling intense emotions recently of feeling unworthy or undeserving of love. It's still hard to believe that i'll be able to find someone to unconditionally love me and fight for me, but this video really does help me out. thank u psych2go

This channel is literally like my best friend. Understand me so much because no one else will

You have no ideia of how much I needed to hear this today. Thank you.

Long story short, thank you. Your videos have had a wonderfully positive response in my life, been awhile since I cried. It was a healthy one though.

Well, I'm happy I've come a long way from feeling this way to understanding the opposite. I wish all folks having the same issue I used to have to heal from it. You deserve to be loved no matter what.

This video was very helpful! Thank you for making it! Stay awesome!

I needed this video today! Thank you ❤

Thank you for this. I needed to listen to this.

My mental health has convinced me that I’m not worthy of love and Am unlovable and no amount of “self love” is able to change that no amount of “healing work” or therapy is gonna help that.

Im glad ur here .... because being alone all the time isn't good so just hearing a familiar voice is soothing.

"Make you believe you're unworthy of love." Im 65 now. 100% alone. Scary.

This video is relatable. I grew up wired into believing that I was just a burden. I struggle with believing that I have any value or importance to anyone. Which is why I'm thankful for my emotional support animal. I have no one to turn to except for one friend and I vow to cherish that one friend til the end of time.

I always feel unloved, unworthy, worthless. I love everyone but no one loves me. Or so i feel like that is the case

I totally agree with that. This is true thanks for the info!

I cant connect with people no matter how hard i try so i just stopped bothering

If you want to be loved you have to learn to love yourself. This really opened my eyes, suddenly i don't really need external validation anymore. Im happy and feeling loved my own ;)

My Narc mother made sure I understood very early that I wasn't and never will be good enough and worthy of love.

For me, no matter how much someone loved me, I've always felt this emptiness inside. The key has always been to love and accept yourself first.

I feel ignored and unloved

as a 35yo, twice divorced man, with 3 kids, lost everything twice.... Been working hard my entire life..... Last ex lied to court and to the expert from child protective services and was caught lying in court... Still won... Judges excuse? The kids had already moved.... Even if she had moved after signing a contract that non of us could move away with the kids.... Take it from me.... There is no "love" in the world worth it..... Its worth less. It will only bring pain, depression and guilt..... The world treat dads like crap..... and thats only what you are left with after... Feeling like crap.. Stay single and happy. NEVER get married, never get kids. I love my kids to death.... But when they take them away from you, and even it the other person gets caught lying to court..... you wish you didn't have kids so you would not ever know this pain.....

I always feel enlightened by your amazing videos, keep on uploading more inspiring content. 😊 Self care & self love are very important, we need to prioritise ourselves. 👍

dude your voice is sooo relaxing and sweet i love it

„Shame can make you feel like you don’t deserve love, because of a mistake you‘ve made and regret .“ Oh. Well that explains much.

I badly needed this video. And I needed it right now, I've been seriously hating myself recently. So even if, hypothetically, I'm the only one watching today who's in that spot- you made a guy smile a bit. Thanks :)

There's a difference between being unlovable and feeling unlovable, people who feel unlovable are able to have relationships and sex but are just really insecure, but people who ARE unlovable will never have love of any kind because they were born to be lonely. LOVE ISN'T FOR EVERYONE

Oh I needed this. Been feeling this way for a few days and have shut down; I know it doesn’t last but it’s painful to feel that way.

Thank You! Great Compassionate Video 🙏🏻

Your videos are really helpful to understand more about psychology and ourselves!!

I didn't expect that, "We love you at the end." And it hurt a bit. Mostly because I know/feel it isn't true deep inside. Probably because I have gone through every trauma listed in this video. >.> On a side note, I appreciate the videos you all put out. Please keep it up. :3

so relatable this video is like I am really talking to a therapist about my problem and he solving it step by step! Nice job Psych2Go.

Thank you for this

You are my go to channel whenever I feel low. ❤

Thank you ❤

Throughout my childhood, I was subject to abusive behaviour from my parents, and they always maintained that no one would help me as much or better than they did. They said that no one would ever love me more, and convinced me that in order for them to love me, I had to work hard and not feel sorry for myself. Years later, despite my objective understanding of the consequences of such relationships, I still find it difficult to ask others for help, much less hope for someone else's love for me. In this way, I push away anyone who tries to get close to me, for I fear that they will bring me as much pain as my parents did. If it wasn't for your videos, it would have been much harder for me to sort myself out. Thank you, and have a nice day!

Unlovable huh? I know that I am. It's weird because im the one friend who says the opposite to those that need to feel loved or are giving up on it. I tell them that exactly this video said, "Everyone in this world is born to be loved or love. It comes eventually. No one in this world is born to be alone." While crying on the inside because i wish I could believe those words myself. My brother's have they're families and my mom has my stepdad. Im the only lonely one but i don't show it because I don't want to worry them. But when i need to cry, i do it softly and quietly so no one can hear me. I see everyone around me having someone they love and sometimes I have to be step away because my heart clenches when i see the love i wished i had. There were two times though where i believed i had found love. The first one hehe was just a dare. I could still hear words when i wanted to give her a promise ring, "Haha you think i want that!? All of this was just a dare by my friends! Who would ever want to be with you!?" As she left laughing with her friends while my heart had broken into a million pieces. Had to pick up those pieces and out them back together. The second one went well and i honestly thought i had found someone who truly loved me, but 😢 the day i was about to ask her if we could take it further, she called me her best friend. My broken heart was cracking again but i accepted with a smile. Years passed and she found her now husband. I was even invited to the wedding. That was the hardest day of my life because i had to watch with a smile and holding together my broken heart as she married someone else. "Sigh" its why i have given up on love I just don't want to be hurt anymore, i can't handle a third heartbreak. Being unlovable affects you when you let it. Its why i try to model my emotions like those of Rick Sanchez from Rick and Morty. Just being apathetic and not caring, without the whole jerk thing. Sorry for the long rant. Great video by the way

Hey Psych2Go, thank you for making this video, I was having a rough morning and dealing with some thoughts of unworthiness. Every time I feel this way I would pray to God and He reminds me through videos like yours that I am worthy of love. I will pray for you as you continue to spread love and mental health awareness. Thank you and God Bless You!

I did find this video helpful, thank you!

Really really thank you!

Yes, and you, by the way, have such a beautiful calming voice.😊😌Thanks for sharing.😃👍🏻

Hi from brazil! your videos always help me when i'm struggling with emotional issues, Thank you