Why You're Bored and Lonely: The Death of Third Places 

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Excatly, it mostly false.

Time for young people to wake up.

What about teledoc?

Why do you think no one in your life truly cares?

Kids of today have no idea of the cool things they missing out on. I recall my buddies and I jumping on our bikes & cycling down to the beach, whee we'd spend all day, getting home just in time for supper during holidays. Our parents weren't even concerned that they had no way of contacting any of us; pre-mobile phone days were awesome👍

You just described my upbringing. We also built forts out in the woods. Treehouses, etc. Today kids spend their free time watching TV, playing video games, and being online texting. Looking at some social media I see they have very little or nothing to talk about. It's because they don't do anything else but use social media. So the focus is the social media itself rather than talking about other experiences. I feel sorry for today's kids. It's interesting that parents now are supposed to arrange so called, 'play dates' for the kids and transport them. Growing up my mother just told us to go outside and find and make friends, and be home before supper, and that's what we did.

@@fredflintstone8048 Totally. My friends and I played some video games and watched movies too, but we spent most of our time out of the house doing outside stuff. Certainly not all of life revolved around modern tech. Sometimes I wonder if humanity would be better off if the Internet had never gone along. Or maybe instead, if the Internet was invented but just kind kind of got stuck where it was in 1999, before it took over the whole world.

Can’t do that anymore. Too many dangerous places, too many sicko child predators, too many bullies, too many bad areas, too much crime, too many gangs to get involved with, too much gang violence and shootings.

Still normal on the west coast

For me it was the bowling alley.

Same

True. The internet really killed a lot of things like record stores, book stores, and all sorts of other retail. To the point where younger people today seem genuinely unaware that a city is supposed to be something more than just a concentration of restaurants and coffee shops.

There’s still a good handful in Toronto. Play de Record, Sonic Boom, Cosmos and Cops are the first to come to mind.

And, true story this, that's how the Pet Shop Boys formed after Neil, and the "other one" met in a record store, got chatting and realised they had the same tastes in music.

Remember the good old days when record stores would let you listen to some of the record BEFORE you bought it? Good thing, good days!

Hear! Hear!

The idea of socializing after work with colleagues makes me want to hide forever.

@@seltzermint5 oh gosh yes, my company does to 5 a 7's in the kitchen, I appreciate the thought, but yeah, I'd rather go see my friends or go home than just talk about work for 2 more hours, even if you give me free drinks and snacks.

@@TenOfZero1 definitely agree! I'm so glad my workplace is diverse enough they don't even pretend we're gonna want to hang out after.

😂😂😂

Go to Panera. They have soft music, and the coffee's better.

Luckily in my town there are a few awesome, locally owned coffee shops where people hang out.

@@mikeappleget482 what's your town?

StarBucks is just loud obnoxious multi-national coffee chain, what do you expect?! If you dont go to independently owned small business cafe?

My 3rd place has been the local Starbucks. id always have someone to talk to, but the last months its been a ghost town.

I hate 'smart phones'. I don't use mine nearly as much as other people do. I grew up in a part of the US where people don't believe in phones - PA.

Shocking really and the 12 second attention span. Will they survive to be real?

@@user-hl4jj3hb4h I heard that during the nation-wide emergency alert test, groups of Amish were busted when their hidden cellphones that they charge at neighbors houses started going off (since you cannot silence the emergency alert)

That isn't correct. I gave a puppy and ho dogv training. Another lady and I now meet up and take our dogs to the dog park. I've also started going to a diet club 6 weeks ago and going out for afternoon tea on Friday. Friendships don't happen immediately, I always think it takes about 6 months to a year, but both have definite possibilities for a long term friendship.

You can make friends anywhere at any age. What are you talking about?

@@IzzyOnTheMove I dont think you understand the definition of "friend." People you meet and enjoy and socialize with regularly are simply a social group. A friend is someone who willingly drives 4 hours to do nothing but just to sit and talk with you, and you both are free to share your deepest vulnerabilities. You also communicate regularly to share all your latest thoughts and activities, no matter how mundane, and both of you have a genuine interest in that. I had two such people, both of whom dated back to childhood, 60 years ago. One died 5 years ago. If/when the other dies, there is no possibility I will ever have a friend like that again. Also, being a widowed and single man, it's far more difficult to even get into a social group, than if you're married, because you're automatically stereotyped as a needy leech, even if you feel perfectly whole and complete as a single. The whole process of trying to elbow your way into a group of people whose lives are already filled with family connections and so forth, is so awkward and painful that it's far easier to just be alone, or have a cat or dog.

@@drc3poIt’s true. What you said is reality.

Friendships are built around purpose, I've found in adult life, helping others. I don't mean being used though, but being built around a purpose can look similar. In my situation I help people using skills I'm good at but they have other skills that underpin a whole different world and my connection with them is a ticket to that world which us enlightening and rewarding. Friendships can have gaps between interactions of days, weeks, months which may seem not worthwhile but consistency and the long term perspective is key.

Meetup groups? Clubs?

People also seem to be suspicious if you try to be friendly as well.

Paint!!!

Why not start your own social group? You say you like running, so post some ads looking for like minded people in your area to form a running club, get to know people and expand it into socialising, and then maybe other sports and other activities. You might be surprised that there are lots of people near you who are all thinking the same thing. Good luck!

set up a ping pong table in your driveway on Fri night and invite a couple neighbors.

Back when women were kept in the kitchen, raising kids, and keeping house?! 🤔

@@stellaallbright4750 Why do you have to create a problem where there isn't one? They didn't say anything about women being housewives or even imply it.

In the U.K I believe it is by design, part of the vilified drinking culture was people meeting up in the pub after work, women too. Lots of union and political movements had their inception in those places. Divide and conquer is the mantra of government and corporations, were are seeing the long term effects of this pervasive attitude. Perversely the only bit of that culture we see now is the bit that should have been deleted, the antisocial drinking to oblivion. And yes it is right and proper to have equal rights for all, I just think it should be achieved by giving to those who don't have, rather than taking from those who do. In this context that is entirely possible. Equality in misery is no goal.

​@@stellaallbright4750 No one suggested anything like that, but that's the conclusion you go to automatically... Is it really any wonder that men all across the West are depressed and lonely when any potential solution to that depression and loneliness is immediately shot down as oppressive to women somehow? A male-only space, by definition, doesn't require anything at all from women. They don't have to lift a finger or sacrifice anything for it to happen.

@@stellaallbright4750They’re running HR departments now with blue hair and reminding people to use the correct gender pronouns.

And what exactly is a dream? And what exactly is a joke?

Totally agree. I also love to mix it up, driving within 20 minutes there are like 10 different beautiful spots to go to. It's easier to just sit at home but the rewards are many.

Same. Every day with my dog.

Nature is my primary third place too. It is peaceful and relaxing, but it usually lacks any real socializing.

It's still quite isolating and lacking in human interaction, though.

@@gauloise6442 Not for me, I usually meet my friend and his two dogs.

You’re lucky to live in a walkable location

Those are good ways to get out of the house, but not to hang out with friends or make new friends in the evening/night.

And it assumes someone has time for these activities, and there are suitable places nearby within reasonable transport or travel distance.

All of those things are great & healthy .

@@annacastillo5804 They are, but as pointed out, not for socialization.

@@rask004 How can someone be soooo possibly busy these days that they can't take any time to go walk in a park or a hiking trail for an hour? If that is actually someone's issue, maybe they need to reevaluate their life structure.

Life pre internet was so much more fun, smart phones and social media have destroyed the world.

It's as good as it is bad. A real double edge sword.

I think the internet was OK up until around 2010 because you would sit down behind a computer for an hour or two, It was when smartphones got really powerful in around 2010 when things really started to get messed up.

Maybe if there was a way to make libraries have more of a Barnes & Noble feel. Of course, the way this country (USA) is going, the wrong person will get a hold of this idea and try to squeeze money out of it. > sigh

@@The9thDirector true. My problem with libraries is that I don’t like to borrow books because I’m afraid of losing them or forget to take them back. At a bookstore, I can just buy it and enjoy it!

I loved book stores and coffee shops! Funny I treated myself to takeout for lunch one day this month during the work day at a sit down restaurant, and a lot of people were eating there alone w their laptops lol Maybe that’s a third place for some now…

My local library on long island has done that. It now features a cafe. This is in old field ny. You may eat at the cafe without your books though. It’s a very rich area near multi millionaire dollar homes

Try you local library :) we love people to hang out (ours sadly doesn't allow drinks, no by the computers for sure) but we have comfy chairs and BOOKS - lots of BOOKS!

We (not me though - 😊) have our smartphones now. We don’t depend on the interaction of fellow humans. Sadly.

its because people have no value whatsoever, most of them are below minimum wage but the regulations make them overpriced

The plandemic had its desired effects by those who engineered it.

@@maksymilianzajac5262 People have inherent value. How dare you try to put a price on life?

I blame Obama

It's been said before making friends as a male past your 20s isn't easy...I'm counting the days until I can join the bowls team or sit in the coffee shop in the morning, the pub in the afternoon and then go to the movie theatre ( if any one of them's still open..and I get an OAP discount). The future's so bright - gotta wear shades .

This guy gets it

What do you do at home though? Do you just sit on the couch on your phone, or do you have a hobby like gardening?

@@jaysterling26 You might want to start bowling now and not wait. Bowling alleys and pool halls are closing down because gens m&z would rather be on their phones. In my city 2 of the 5 bowling alleys have closed. I used to bowl all the time in my teens and twenties with my friends. But then over time people move away for jobs or families.

Here here

I've always liked that theme song 🎵

Cheers for that 😊

begin doing that and the sheep would follow!

I'm a stigma person and I'm not into media, entertainment, and people.

Yeah I love Nickelback.

Sounds REALLY nice to me! Be well! 👍👍

My land was an area of unprofitable, partly wet pasture. I burnt my bridges and managed to buy it in a sealed bid, as the local farmers put a low value on it. Now it's woodland & orchard providing me with fuel and fruit, and I live lawfully in a barn I've built on it. Worth 10x the cost now, but I love my land and could never sell her. Amazing what risk taking can bring.

lakefront property the most valuable and sought ever, never loses value

Ever seen Logans run?

Wave your arms next time. Get their attention.

@@tianamarie989 he wasn’t looking my way, but point taken. 😁

Haha! So funny. So true. 😂

depressibg

Don’t give up …. Try again

💯💯

Maybe if those people you label 'nerd' and determine as lacking 'social skills' is the primary reason ALL of this started? If you treat someone as an animal do not be surprised when he acts like one...

McDonald’s sucks!

We let soulless corporations dictate what society looks like. Our subservience to authority has gotten to the point that a manager at McDonald's is telling us what we can and cannot do."OK, I can't sit in your box, guess I'll go back to my box." It's like our lives cater to these businesses now and not the other way around.

Same thing happened to me. I got told by the waiter that the manager thought it was weird that I'm sitting for an hour by myself ordering only one coffee. After that experience I never visited a café again.

Definitely worth shopping around with cafes. The ones less than half full, not a franchise, and with relaxed staff are the way to go. Find one or two people reading a paper or on a laptop and you're golden!

@@seanm996 Thank you Sean

nailed it 🎯

Agreed, I just posted pretty much the same thing

I used to go to friend's house to play cheap poker. Then we would get breakfast at midnight at a local 24hr coffee shop. We would joke and make fun of each other. Get up on Saturday and play half court basketball. All these places no longer exist. Gone or to dangerous to go at night or day.

you are so right, this is exactly the comment i was looking for, i would so be down to hang out with you because we have similar world views, and i have been trying to stave off the destruction of community by trying to build some, though i have since left those behind, shame it sounds like youre in norcal, i was in socal for a long time

Just my two cents: I joined a dance community 2 years ago and it was a snake nest. Sometimes being surrounded by people, when they are not good people, is much worse than isolation so we have to try a good group of people and be careful who who we trust.

I can relate to the risk of "feeling isolated and depressed" but I work hard at not letting this happen by actively seeking things of beauty (exploring nature with a camera)and working on developing an array of skills, which I didn't have time to do in my work life. I suppose a dog might fill a void - they also get you out and they will always need you. Even if its impossible to make like minded friends - and thats something which seems really rather difficult to make in retirement, strangely. The net has been a real friend to me, I return to the country of my birth and go traveling on Google Maps to places both familiar and new places and have fun that way.

I completely understand what you're saying about there not having been third places anywhere near where you lived. The place I grew up in was a similar case. A movie theater and most stores were an hour's drive away, and I think a lot of people in my graduating class would just hang out at a diner. The local diners were AWFUL, and most of them were smoking establishments. I really cannot tolerate cigarette smoke, so that was out. When I was in high school there was very briefly a real artisan hangout type of cafe that opened up where they had an open mic night and people could read poems or perform a song or whatever. It only lasted a few months, tops, and I went twice, and then it was gone forever. There has never been another place like that in this entire county, even over 20 years later. Otherwise, there was only ever been the odd Dunkin Donuts or McDonald's. I moved to a city for a decade in my 20's and enjoyed some genuine third places there, but a lot of those places have disappeared since I had to move back to my hometown for financial and health reasons. Now my hometown is becoming more and more like a "suburban" area, with more chain stores, less nature, everything homogenized without being particularly unique or a place you want to spend time with anyone else. It's somehow maybe even worse than when I was growing up, and it is especially alienating to me now that I'm going to be 40 and don't have all of the conventional keeping up with the Joneses life accoutrements which are all anyone around here cares about or talks about. It touched my heart when you said that written letters were a second place for you. Written communication was a huge comfort and satisfaction to me in school when I would pass notes to my friends, and then later when the Internet happened, for a while the existence of e-mail was such an incredible thing. I developed relationships with penpals who I would e-mail with and it was my only window out of the extreme isolation and oppressive emptiness I felt in my hometown growing up. Nowadays it's harder and harder to find people who want to e-mail like that. I will say that moving to a city didn't really help ultimately because I ended up working a totally solitary job there for a long time, with no time or energy to take full advantage of third places like the real taverns and cafes and shops and community spaces that exist in an urban environment. The other problem I ran into is that I learned people just don't seem to have the drive to cultivate new friendships in adulthood, especially in the city environment. It's not like it is in the movies where city people have a crew of close knit friends. I'm not sure if it's due to the changing times and the interference of social media and things, or if it's just that we're socialized into believing that adult life isn't about friends. Maybe people just never learn how to make friends outside of the basic systems that ensure the cultivation of familiarity, like school and work. The friends I made in the city were great at first, but they weren't friendships that got enough time or intention to be permanent. People only think about you when you're relevant to their life in some way. Once I left the city, I became someone "out there", instead of a roommate or a person who went to the same events. I think things can still be different for friendships in adulthood, but it takes a serious strategy and very un-fun staunch commitment to kind of forcing the bond-building stuff to happen. Most of why I wrote all of this is because after I read your comment, I wanted to say don't give up. Yes, our culture is extremely ridiculous in the ways it makes people feel like they're obsolete - whether by poverty, or age, or eccentricity, or whatever else. As a woman, I was on my way to cultural and societal obsolescence by the time age 35 rolled around. But no one is obsolete because the world is an incredibly huge place and there are always other people who feel the same way. There are always more places, always more options out there. It is very difficult to find them sometimes and it is very hard to muster the motivation at times, and sometimes it requires completely counterintuitive techniques- but there is still more for you in this world, because there's always more for everyone. If you want a third place, find a completely unexpected batshit option for a place, and dig into it. Only the social rules say that you don't fit because you're in your 60's. Real human beings will simply respond to you as a human being if you go to a place and ask questions. There are websites specifically for finding penpals, if writing letters would be a place that's meaningful to you. I use those from time to time myself. I am still isolated by health and poverty stuff, and I'm still stuck in my hometown, but when I talk to someone new I feel more like a person and not like those things which otherwise feel like they define me. In reality, that stuff doesn't define us. We are still valuable people with thoughts and interests and things to offer, as long we breathe.

find an art show; a public garden; a church; farmers market. etc.. talk to at least one person there. Get their name and learn one thing about them.

Try the gym or a fitness class! They're very supportive environments 😊

Watching children be consumed by devices destroys me living in melbourne australia. Sad stuff......

It’s all devices and brand names now. Just like we predicted but no one listened

The 1980s was possibly the best time in human history to be a child, mainly because we still had the freedom of the past but also bikes were cheap enough for everyone, great kids tv and the promise of the future.

@@joejoejoejoejoejoe4391 I agree as I was a kid then. Also The early 1990s were also amazing the world literally went insane after 9/11. Especially In America. More fear More paranoia More police state abuse More surveillance More violation of constitutional rights Etc And I’m sure the radiation from all these devices we have now are hurting us physically, and emotionally.

same here 1983

We don't even have a library, and it's considered a city... My ass. It does not, it's a bloody swamp, where dreams die.

You're right, stuff does not just come our way, you have to go out and search for it.

My public library was nice until it moved to, ironically, a more central and walkable town center area, and now all the local special ed and adult daycare places drop their charges off there all the time, driving everybody else away. I stopped in to wait for my parents to pick me up one time and it had taken on such a stifling, institutional feeling wafting off all the staff, I was shocked.

No activities here

@@raloufen4292 sorry to hear it!! Ours even has take-home adult craft kits (monthly). My husband and I just made a bunch of things for free and it was fun, I wish all libraries were like mine!

Feel this!! Everything is just getting worse and worse

Idk, I'm not afraid to leave my house, I just don't want to go out.

During covid was when it all started going down hill with a lot of third places being closed down or shut down. People stopped caring after the fact.

Weed is also jamming the machine

Walking around with my wife and kids and saying hi to a random person: 👼 Walking around by myself and saying hi:🧛🧛‍♂🧛‍♂

I think you sound lovely and wise, not at all creepy.

I was a kid in the 80s too and spent a lot of time outdoors with neighborhood kids exploring etc. But as a bookworm and not sporty, I did spend a lot of time inside reading and watching TV too. I noticed as early as the late 90s when I was in college that kids around me were never outside or riding bikes etc.

YOU are society!!! Not only now, but you always have been!!! Thanks for nothing!!!!

80s were the deadliest decade dummy

​@@seltzermint5 well read up on stats the 80s sucked

@@tulip811 Right? Everyone complains and then they give back in to it and continue the cycle of what they claim they can't stand.

So true

I’m there as well. It’s a weird world.

I’m 45 and completely agree

I'm 60 in 3 months. This is a clown world full of corruption and fakery. Looking forward to getting off this ride.

I send you all my best wishes

That is an utterly terrifying fact....

Man is the devil looking for power over you 😂

Not government. It’s corporations. Government isn’t interested in a tiny fraction of what corporations scrape about you.

@@elizabethclaiborne6461 The gov has a file on everybody. They know everything about you.

Indeed it is by design. We need to EVISCERATE the people who are behind this - but the sheep will keep voting the Trudeaus and the Bidens and the Sunaks in....because, well.......SOSHAL JUSSTISS!

Not everybody has access to things that satisfy their soul. I'm lucky because I need people and I live somewhere where I can have a group of friends. If I didn't, I wouldn't be satisfied, and a LOT of people live in places where it's impossible, and they're stuck. You're very, very fortunate.

As a teen we hung out in the mall food court

@@TheKnallkorperI hang out with co workers now sometimes at a food court.

some gen z in their 20s look like they are nearing retirement

lol

😂😂😂

Windshield time...every day something different going by.

true, finding third places is actually easier now with online meet-ups for sports teams or hobbyists. You have to be proactive, no one said socializing was meant to be effortless.

Really good piece of advice. I find it difficult to come up with new things to do, though. I always find an excuse such us lack of time, energy etc I think I'm going to set a monthly goal of just one new thing😊

@@CeliaMaria-lo8cx That is fantastic ☺️ And good for you, sooo good for you! You are already taking a big leap toward your goal by thinking about it. Even try writing it down on a sticky note or whiteboard and have it placed somewhere you pass often in your house. Keep me posted on how it goes 😇

May I offer you an invitation to visit a church of Christ in your community? ❤

@@3075bridget What do you mean? I am part of a church!

You're lucky to have that front porch. I sit outside on mine a lot too, but our house is down a slope, and so I don't have a view to the road and am instead facing my garden. I can hear comings and goings, but never made any connections with people.

Or find out online. Tomorrow you say hi Zeke!

It shouldn't be that embarrassing; I'm sure they don't know her name either 😂

Those who do drugs, the third place is at the neighborhood drug house. Oh, and they know your name too. lol jk

fellow thrift fanatic here!

Hermit here ✋

Similar here. Parks/woods, thrift shops.

Kermit here, I’m an amphibian.

Every town and city is that way.

the problem many times is people in their 20s think they are "too cool" to do anything but drink/party and then by their 30s-40s and later, they have wedged themselves into a box of supposed coolness when they MAY enjoy things like clubs, museums, playing music or participating in active lifestyles. At least from what I have observed.

Sounds poor and uneducated

My dad tells the story of a town near where he grew up (in the 50s), about when a pastor and his son from out of town came to visit the police chief, who had a son about the same age. The pastor's son asked the chief's son "what do you do for fun around here?" "We go to the cat house (a brothel)." The pastor asked the police chief "what do you do for fun around here?" "We raid the cat house. Wanna go?"

A very poor substitute.

A hollow shell of the concept

Brave new world

Like right here on RU-vid and sharing opinions

Yep, everyone is glued to their phones. For some that's their 1 st place

Sadly, you are 100% correct.

Mine is RU-vid

Yup. And it’s a total bummer.

They even call it the "modern public square"

@sevenmadeonkey So, order/drink a soda or fruit juice or whatever non-alcoholic beverage you like. Not drinking alcohol is not really much of a barrier - in my opinion anyway. Get back out there and ignore those few who would not welcome you, based on your drinking choices! Cheers.

​@gwarlow some people don't want to be around booze or people who indulge in it. It has nothing to do with drinking it yourself.

That sounds like the ideal life. I miss my home town by the Atlantic. But houses go for multi-millions now.

More and more people live in cities now so that rural pleasure has gone. I sure miss food gardening. Sometimes I wander around the apartment blocks community gardens just too relax.

I have chronic illness and can no longer work, too. I get out for small errands 1-2 days a week.

I totally get it.

Yes, I’m so relieved that I don’t drink because I’d be miserable, too.

So inspiring!!

Church is boring

@@tonyp9313 From someone who was bored enough to leave a comment 😂 We have a great time. Hard to be bored when you have people to serve.

@@N3PRO-Dave I sat through church every Sunday when I was a kid. 1 hour of listening to a priest, standing & sitting down when you are told & just repeating things for 1 hour, is boring.

@@tonyp9313 So a poor experience when you were a kid equates to a stuck mindset in adulthood is sad.

@@N3PRO-Dave K I guess church was different for you then. For majority of people this is how church is like when you are a kid.

Speak for yourself, brother or sister.

@@Torgo1969 indeed. I have a great guild in my one online game where we do just shoot the shit and joke around and have a good time, as well as play the game lol.

"With AI coming on fast, society is going to have much more leisure time." I wish that were true, but A.I. doesn't eliminate the need to make money to survive. It's going to displace so many workers, many of which will become unemployable as more and more jobs disappear, but we still need *some* way to make ends meet. Things are going to get much worse for people before they get better. I predict a bloodbath if our politicians don't proactively do something to ensure people's survival.

agreed.

While it doesn't interest me personally I have friends who love this, as well as burlesque which sounds a bit "yikes" but I've helped with the music for them and it's quite artistic rather than lewd mostly.

@@seltzermint5 Burlesque sounds so cool!

@@tracyingram7939 it's neat. They always encourage me to actually join but I'm way too self-conscious! I know I look totally average but the idea of dancing that way, and seeing my own photos and videos...well it is just NOT gonna happen lol. I'll leave them to it.

@@seltzermint5 I'd feel the same way. I have enough trouble with just being in a swimsuit.

Yeah! I've been taking a jewelry class for over a decade now. It's my only third space and I love being around people who like making cool stuff.

What's your native language?

@@IanK369 My native language is portuguese.

Your English is excellect. Obviously your learning is working! For how long have you been learning?

......pretty happy. I'd say pretty lucky too.

@@alastairstaunton7081 I am learning English for about 12 years...

Totally. It’s nice that people enjoy being outside. I love going for walks too. But that’s not a third place.

@@AccordingtoNicole A lot of people in your commments don't seem to get what THird Place is. There's a lot of "I got to nature for my third place" comments. There's a specific set of academic criteria to determine third place status. Conversation should be the MAIN activity. I don't get why people seem so desperately unable to grasp what a third place is from your video, I thought you did a good job of explaining it. I literally saw a comment saying that a sensory deprivation float tank was their "third place" and I wanted to scream.

All due respect but we still build sets and props with our hands, as a team, together. Sets are not built in digital/post unless there's a specific effect that is required. 99% of sets and props you see on films are actual things we designed, bought, fabricated, installed, moved, touched, painted, etc, with our own hands, collaboratively, as a team. But back to the original context of the video, you're describing a second place. A film set is a work location, where we earn our living. That by definition is not a third place. I would even argue that when some members of the crew get together at the end of the day over beers at a bar, even THAT is not officially a third place because we are essentially continuing the work day and discussing, mostly, work.

@dustyoldhat Welcome to the internet. People have very poor comprehension skills and think they’re geniuses.

Third spaces are now so rare in the world, that I think some people genuinely have a hard time figuring out what the concept means.

no my sister is deadly afraid of strange men almost everywhere she goes. I noticed as a man going to the park if you are exercising or playing a sport no one pays any attention to you. I don't like going as much now because of screaming kids and lowly people that hang around there.

try putting on a bear costume

Social Media is only a symptom, Hyper-capitalization is the main cause. Even if there are things to do offline, they are so expensive I can't afford it. $20 per person trips to the cinema were a thing before streaming. In the 90s "shopping as a pastime" was a thing. It's been a long time since there have been true third places for adults that were affordable.

@@gauloise6442 I feel like North America has it far worse when it comes to this. This is based on living in Europe the last 15+ years (lived in the US and Canada before) and also when I visited South America, people seemed to be have their third spaces.

@@maidenthe80sla Wow, that's quite a damning condemnation of an entire country of people. Have you ever asked yourself whether any part of your unhappiness might have something to do with you?

Car Dependent suburbs and malls killed downtowns and main streets post WWII

Nope. What killed the third place was suburban sprawl, zoning laws, TV and home AC, while social media opportunistically filled the void. Our post-modern world is a byproduct of Cold War era's policies by the technocrats that atomized the society out of irrational fear and simple greed.

I keep telling people work from home is horrible for society