The feeling of wanting to leave everything behind... 

“No matter where you go, there you are”

"my aloneness feels so good… I'll only have you if you're sweeter than my solitude." - Warsan Shire

In 2008 I dropped everything and left everything behind to move to Alaska. It was the best choice I ever made..

I left all behind many times. Remember, when you are old, you will regret what you didn't do, rather than all the mistakes done in life.

Every time I look into the woods, the wilderness, I want to walk into it and never come back.

Sometimes roots need new soil, new nutrients, so the rest of the organism can flourish again... I've been stuck in this city for so long, where living is becoming too expensive, housing is unaffordable, and i lock myself indoors because of it, too noisy, too dirty... humans can be too toxic to stay put. I long for nature, peace and quiet.

3 Years a go left my well paid job in London to settle in a coastal small town in Scotland. Best decision ever

No matter what place, I always have the feeling I don't belong there.

Sold everything two years ago and moved into my van. Only now beginning to find myself again after decades of depression.

the need to explore doesn't just come from discontent, it is part of the human nomadic identity. A reflection of our truest selves. Well said!

If moving is an acceptance of who we are and what we value, then it's a running towards ourselves, not away from ourselves.

I left the UK 13 years ago and moved to Canada. Now I’m stuck and have endless amounts of debt. Living hell. The grass isn’t always greener.

How is it that you ALWAYS upload a video that matches my situation, like perfectly. Holy shit I’m going to enjoy watching your videos once again :)

Most people who do leave are the explorative types. They do not leave because of discontent. The people that are discontent and say they will leave, almost never leave. Just my experience. I lived and worked in 7 different countries. Now I'm quite settled, married, but the idea of going somewhere unknown and beginning a new quest still stays with me. A lot of people in the comments talk about travel. But travel is not the same as going somewhere to live and work. Even if you travel a year or so, you always know you will come back to the same situation. If you move somewhere and settle into another country, society, job, you are grounded into another daily reality. All I can say is that this will expand your vision immensely, and this idea of what home is will change with you.

Whoever is behind this channel is a genius. I mean...when I feel sad,stressed,ignored...I just go to this channel and come back like a fresh new born baby. Thanks Einzalngänger❤

"I never found the companion that was so companionable as solitude." That urge to fly away against the gravitational forces of mechanical existence hits hard !! It's better to be in Solitude than to deal with venomous fake world 🤸💜

Ya know, when me and a ex broke up in 2022, i was more mad at my environment and all the memories i shared in places, the smells etc. i wanted to get away. But i knew that deep down i loved my city, met great people, jobs galore, decent priced living. But i looked for every reason to leave instead of why i came there anyway. So yeah i moved back home with the parents in a shitty town with like 2 jobs. Ive grown so very much like coming to realization of the topic of this video. But its not outside things that make you wanna leave, its a internal conflict you need to address and accept truth on. God bless y'all be safe and stop being so stubborn lol

As an immigrant and incurable traveller, but also as a homesteader and community-minded person, I can attest to all of these being present in my own life. I think the key to understanding this is that we are not unitary beings with a single purpose. We have within ourselves the explorer, the homesteader, the person who longs for deep and lasting connection, and the person who longs to be completely free and unencumbered by relationships. All these personalities need their time to express themselves. How we integrate them together into a meaningful and satisfying life is the trick.

I'm going through this at the moment - aged 54 - My life has been turned upside down in the previous 12 months. Some by design, some very much not by design. I've never felt as though I belonged wherever I was. I'm drawn to your channel because, like you, I'm drawn to solitude, I have needed to be alone since childhood. But I struggle with bouts of loneliness and a fundamental need for company and intimacy. It's as though I'm at odds with myself. I find water, sunshine and blue skies and walking therapeutic, calming, healing. I'm about to embark on a series of short trips around the Mediterranean to see if there's somewhere that resonates. A derelict farmhouse that requires renovating, surrounded by a small vinyard or an olive grove maybe. I have no idea of this a fantasy or a calling but I think it's worth taking a look. I know wherever I go I will take my internal struggles. I know that I'm not going to be able to run away from unpleasant feelings or memories. I'm not searching for a new home, a destination, a dream or a fantasy. I'm searching for inner calm. Deep down I know it doesn't matter where I am physically for this to manifest itself, but the journey I hope is the mechanism that creates healing that I require. If I return, I hope to return a more whole, centered person.

I just keep wishing I’d fall asleep and never wake up.

I left the United States for China. My wife, father, and aunt all passed away within a year of each other, and I was looking to start over since I lost so many. I teach physics here. It would be nigh impossible for a white man like me to get such a job in my homeland. While I am much happier here, I still took myself with me. I still have the same knots in my soul I always did. Great talk

I’ve been tethered down in a place of general discontent for the past 15 years. Not women, children or anything like that. This January I was able to make the decision to drop everything and pursue my dreams… most importantly- I was able to do this without hurting anyone. I bought a sailboat, moved several hours away and will be learning to sail the great lakes. I’m 35 now and plan to be somewhere on the other side of the world in a few years. A sailboat is very similar to a rocket ship- traveling to far distant lands relying on yourself, your preparedness and knowledge. The world is your oyster 😊

At the age of 39, I emigrated from London to central Europe on Christmas Day 2015. I didn't speak the language, I had no job lined up, no friends, no family, nothing there. Nine years later, I'm self-employed with a higher quality of life than I could have ever dreamt possible. (edited: dreamed-->dreamt) I still don't speak the local language.

The timing of this video is impeccable. I have been feeling stuck in the minutia of my day to day life. I don’t live anymore, I just exist. I am constantly thinking about ways to leave and never look back. I want to run away from my job, my living situation, and I want to leave behind all the expectations others have set for me. It just feels like I need to leave in order to determine what truly I carry with me and what others gave me to carry for them.

I left my hometown 3 years ago. It gave me space to really have introspection without distraction. But I soon noticed that I started creating the same bad habits in my new environment. I followed myself lol. I'm glad I made the move but it also taught me that happiness is created from within🙏🏾❤️ great vid as always

We were a nomadic species not that long ago - I definitely believe that we still have that instinct to keep moving forward to new ground. Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

I live with this feeling every day

New surroundings = new ideas, i.e. new ideas about how to cope with ourselves.

I left home when I was 17 and never looked back. I went on the adventure of a lifetime and experienced some amazing things. Met some interesting people and saw things few will ever see. I learned quite a bit about myself and others.

My mother used to say: there's no point in changing Yonah, where the iron goes, so does the rust...

Travel changes the soul in my opinion and experience. Gives new perspectives to the old problems. Makes it easier to put up with and help yourself. And others.

I have never gone a vacation. I always was moving. From VA to HI many times staying years at a time. In the jungle for a year. Czech to Serbia to Costa Rica. Searching where I fit in. What I learned is, no matter where you go, there YOU are. There is no geographical cure for the void everyone has. I finally live one my little piece of land all alone. I know what's wrong is in me. Here I will face it. 4 years sober.

Geographical cures rarely work, but provide a temporary rush that can become addictive. Lived like that all through my 20's and 30's. Finally set roots in my 40s. Now an old man in my 70's i can say, for myself, had i remained a nomad would have been true to myself. The life i have lived, while not terrible, brought little joy and excitement. Like i said, the temporary fix is addictive. Honestly, being a responsible adult sucks.

Funny how this video perfectly showed up about the choice i made. 7 months ago I finally made the step to move to Thailand. I was totally fed up with my old life and the country. I do miss my family, but remind myself everytime how much better the life quality is here. Happy with all the lessons i learn here.

I think the desire to leave the current life behind Is not necessarily to find happiness, but the feeling of going to explore and experience new things. This feeling must be inate within us, omelet but sometimes the noise of our daily life blurs our inner voice.

“Man hands on misery to man. It deepens like a coastal shelf. Get out as early as you can, And don't have any kids yourself.” ― Philip Larkin

It costs money to travel and establish yourself in a new place for the vast majority of us out here struggling

Leavimg everything behind, paying off all debts and being with my lady is the best decisions ever. Be with someone you can cuddle with. I also learned how to go inside myself like Thoth said. Made my life happier.

This entire line of thinking takes the following premise as fact: Staying where you are has inherent merit over moving. This is premise is false. 6:30 “…like with every form of pleasure we obtain from the external world, it's not a permanent cure for unhappiness; the happiness it generates is fleeting.” In my experience this is completely wrong. I’ve moved several times leaving much behind for specific reasons I could clearly identify. Each time I’ve been happier after the move. Gradually the fit with me and the place I now was drifted apart until it was worth relocating again. That’s life. It’s not some profound philosophical dilemma. Consider even the following assertion: If you’re the problem, that problem follows you around. Surely that’s true in some cases, but moving can still alleviate those problems that you’re not creating for yourself. There’s no reason your problems can’t be caused by both you and where you live. To believe otherwise is to embrace a false dichotomy. I have found that most people doing such mental gymnastics about why they shouldn’t move simply have either some hangup about letting go, or don’t want to do the work to move. The specious reasoning in this essay just licenses those dysfunctions to continue unaddressed.

I became a very protective version of myself when I was chasing a 11 year LDR. I didn't prioritize my desires, happiness and grinded myself to become financially independent to make it work. I put all of my dreams and hopes towards it and kept enduring a lot of hardship just to get together in a different place, different continent. Now that it's gone, I don't feel myself a bit. Now I want to leave everything behind, do all the things I wanted to do, don't care about any risks. Just wanna disappear from the face of the earth and restart everything. But no matter where I go, there I am.

Beautiful video! Greetings from Mexico City

No matter where you go, there you are.

Normies: imagine leaving everything behind Nomads: imagine not leaving everything behind

“To bear children into this world is like carrying wood to a burning house.” ― Peter Wessel Zapffe

This is the best video you made. Exactly my feelings, I did ran away because of my unhappiness. Lived abroad 3 times already and now I'm a digital nomad that can't even go home for a week to visit family and friends. The discontentment is always there, I realised that I couldn't run away from myself many years ago. But still moving around helps a little bit...although I don't think I can be ever really happy or have moments of true happiness. I will just wait for the years to go by and that's it...

Are you leaving or going somewhere? Going somewhere is better. A change of environment can be refreshing.

I❤ love this channel ❤.

Happiness is where you are at the moment.

This was very well thought out. I love the way you always look at things from a variety of angles - well done.

I moved to NYC in 1991 with 400 dollars in my pocket. Best decision I ever made. The next ten years are something I would never trade anything for.

Good topic. I had these feelings, and one reason you didn't mention is due to realizing that your past life was living under someone elses life, then you woke up to find who you really are.

Thank you Mr. Einzelgänger. This hit the spot. I too have the urge to leave everything behind, especially away from toxic environment/people, but than I fear the unknown and I stay and also due to responsibilities. I also wonder: will it really make me more content? Maybe, maybe not. This is why I love to travel, seeing new places is so important to me, but getting back to what I know. And I admire people who are fearless and start a new life. Sometimes a change of place can help and sometimes not. We are all different. Thank you for all your educational videos 👍

That's the great thing about severe depression, you truly come to know that wherever you go, there you are, and NOTHING outside of you is going to permanently impact your essence. No scenery, location, group of friends, mate, house, car, or even dogma is going to truly change you. Only after you've stripped EVERYTHING you thought was you and gone into silence with yourself will one start to understand themselves and the rudimentary machinations of reality. Otherwise, like me you just flounder in the illusion until you release it.

I have felt at some point that I have grown to the maximum in my current environment, so I had to leave and never regret this step

In 1998 I left everything behind to focus on God and self improvement in my spiritual life.All my needs are met by Good God Almighty!

I disagree with most of this. I’ve switched environments and love my new place. It’s filled with people that mostly mind their own business. It’s beautiful. It’s vast and expansive. I’m still alone but this move has not only made me a better person but it has made me quite a bit more happy and at peace while still learning and growing.

Your videos are always so well thought out and sometimes you finish my sentence. Thank you

I have moved country several times for a fresh start but wherever I went, there I was. Now I have returned to where I am from and see it differently. Now I still want to explore but from a grounded place. Not seeking home somewhere else or escape somewhere else, but living life to the full which, for me, means experiences new things too. Here, there and everywhere.

Good timing, I just came from hours of internet search for a new flat in a new city. And I love adventures and new surroundings, but I've also learned that relationships are the most valuable thing in life, especially those that you've had for years. The people that know and accept you the way you are should be preserved and cared for with real intention. And that includes seeing each other, which isn't easy if you're living far away. I'm excited, but it also kinda breaks my heart because I know it won't be the same anymore with my friends.

Spot on! Inner peace is key. We can roam the world, but discontent follows if we don't find it within. Great reminder to focus on internal growth! ❤💛💜

Thanks for great writing and introspection.

Great video once again. I am 58, American (not my fault) and I have travelled extensively, Hawaii (twice) Spain, Canary Islands, Mexico, Canada, Philippines, Caribbean, Brazil, Mongolia, Korea, Germany, Austria, Switzerland and In all my travels, all my experiences, the one thing that rings true, for me anyway, is that you cannot run away from yourself. To truly love, respect, trust and be happy externally, one must first find those inside. 💙🙏

Left toxic family and friends in California 2-3 years ago. Best choice ever!

This might be my favorite youtube video I've ever watched. This feeling has been deep in my soul since I was a kid and to see it so eloquently crystalized in my favorite form of media was so catharthic. Thank you!

This is very helpful. My wanderlust is strong and I’ve always wondered why.

Many years ago, I had a girlfriend who wanted us to get married, and for us to move to a completely different area of our country. I was against doing that, while she said whether we marry or not, she would definitely move far away. We broke up, and I married someone else about two years later. 45 years later, I have moved to a completely different part of my country, while the ex girlfriend not only stayed in the same area, but also lives in exactly the same house as when I knew her. It's a strange life, you really never know which way it will go.

i had to escape from being around toxic people that would just not stop. I had enough. Liefs uit Nederland

It is great to see how host shares his growth, and not only quoting existing Stoic understandings. The channel and its content is also a part of our travel. A travel of the host and audience and their ways.

So many relevant videos lately, it's really strange. Always gives me somthing to think about, appreciate this channel so much

Ur philosophy about life is great

I have just broken up with my long term partner because for a very long time I haven't felt like myself for many of the reasons you've mentioned in this video. I have just finished packing and am moving tomorrow and still have regrets that I have made a really stupid decision. This video calmed me down and made me feel much more positive about the future. Thank you.

I watch your channel for years. That was pure gold.

I just want to say thank you for making the videos you do. I’ve fundamentally changed as a person and have done a lot of self reflecting due to the knowledge I’ve found thru your channel, and I can not thank you enough. It has improved my life

Everyone thinks the grass is greener on the outside. I traveled and work in other countries and I rather my home in the tropical area. If I life anywhere else is only in the tropical zone. I found happiness within me.

I always have this feeling to leave - have a small place alongside a lake 🎣 .. No people or very little interaction with people. To have quiet, peace and silence. I’m content mostly with my life but the human race / working is exhausting !

This video really hit home for me. I have traveled to Europe two times for multiple months in an attempt to escape the mundanity of my life (and depression). Both times I realized that the feeling wore off in a few days, just like you described in your video. I love to travel, but I will no longer do it in order to escape every day life

A couple days ago I was so frustrated with this weather I just wanted to take off and say "screw that place". It's either raining,cold as hell, or windy enough to strip your roof of shingles. I started thinking about it and came to the conclusion in your video. There's going to be challenges wherever you go. Better to learn how to deal instead of running off.

That was deep, dude. It gives me a lot to think about.

The only part you can't leave behind is yourself. You don't need to go anywhere to change oneself. You can change yourself by observing the mind closely. The best way to observe the mind closely is by meditation. Love.

Loving your work thanks.

In 2001 l left my hometown of NYC/NJ after 911 for the West Coast. LA, SD, SF, SAC and now Las Vegas! Loving it. 😊

The consistency in the quality of your content is excellent. How are you brother?

I feel this urge every single day.

Beautiful conclusion, thank you❤

Most enlightening. Thank you.

That's wild. This was me yesterday. I was making a plan. Today is a little better, but I'm not sure I'm totally past it.

When people believe that they have traveled to different places, I really believe that they have not traveled anywhere because it's always 'now'. Life is nothing but a series of 'now' events. Conscious experience is something which can only happen in the present moment or 'now' and when a person believes that they have traveled from somewhere, this is only just a memory, a thing which has been created by the brain which is being experienced 'now'.

I felt very understood by this video. The suggestion was beautifully put together and it really gave me something to think about.

thank you for your videos ❤

This video couldn't have come at a better time....currently in the process of changing my name and then planning on joining the military...leaving everything behind and starting anew.

I moved from the Netherlands to Johannesburg South Africa 10 years ago, and now again into the South African Bush. I’m 44. Wife and kids. Moving away from a life dictated by my mind, into my heart. Away from structured society. Our environment is a reflection of our internal world. Moving into a different environment a reflection of internal changes. The experience is ours only: sometimes heavy, sometimes light. Ultimately we build our freedom inside and then outside. I’m happy to know the African sticks enable that state (freedom) much better than the developed Netherlands (restriction). Yet, it’s all a reflection of our internal state: what will I make my life into when there is nothing organised and developed before me? Why do I even ask the question? Will I create the very thing I walk away from (mind driven order) in the environment I cherish because of its very lack of mind-order: nature? Or did I transform and become heart-driven already, hence the new environment? My Dutch family can’t understand why I would want a life of turmoil, lack of security and chaos. We only know the answer when looking back on our lives: it’s who we became.

Thank you for sharing your thoughts.

This channel is amazing.

I always think of leaving everything too, leaving all my responsibilities , leaving my relation with everyone and just vanish. Even though I wanna change my perspective about how I look at things it may sometimes be hard ig? Idk if I can ever develop a positive mindset

The most liberating thing about my emigration to Germany 16 years ago was reducing the ballast of my past to a small van.

This hit me good. Thx man!

thank you for this i've stood on the edge of my own demise contemplating the repercussions of such an impulsive journey, ultimately convinced I made the smarter choice I remain in chains perhaps finishing this video will aid me on the path to the enlightenment I seek

I have traveled; lived and worked in many places; bought and sold my dreams; left everything behind many times. Now that I am old and soon to leave everything behind for one last time, I have the feeling I would like to return to my place of birth and meet DEATH there.

To paraphrase Ms Swift "I wanted to sell my house and burn my clothes". As a teenager, I couldn't wait to leave town, and reject my abusive past. Eventually I even left my country and became a citizen elsewhere. If you find something so intolerable, walk away.

I get this feeling from time to time. But I can't just leave everything and escape reality. I'm responsible for people in my life. My conscience won't allow me to be a coward.