It's interesting to actively practice being silent. I am phasing into a new job now where no one knows me and I know I need to STFU. I'm usually a yakker, but have withheld lots of information and personal details I would have normally blurted out in the past. At times it's physically uncomfortable for me. The dialogue running in my head is endless. 😂 Being older now, I know people will size you up and use any information you provide to plot against you if necessary. However, another benefit to being older is that I've come to care very little about what people personally think of me now. So I don't really sweat things or think-stress on situations as much as I used to. I do 'play the how to win friends and influence people' game to an extent though to see how people respond/react. It doesn't take long and need to size them up as well for my own senses and defenses in this superficial societal construct we are all living in. If I find individuals are more silent than not I don't really try to talk to them anymore besides dealing with the task at hand and getting that over with. I fill my own air/mind with podcasts and YTube via an earbud. Most people are selfish pieces of shite come to find out after decades of real-life data collection.
@@Paul-rp5rsPoor Claire !? What?I can't see any correlation between what i wrote and your reply.You will have to explain that please as what you have wrote has gone right over my head.Thank you.
I practice silence all the time. But I always attract chatty people. They think i’m a great listener. Truth is I don’t want to hear it. Excellent video!
Yep! 😂 Me too. It's draining. I was nicknamed "The Psychiatrist" in high school because of my listening ability. Ever notice that when a great listener needs to be heard, there's no one around who can be bothered to listen? 😢 I love my daily journal. I tell it everything, rather than depend on someone to really listen. It's better than a therapist. There are many benefits to journal keeping: one of my favourites is that it won't be blabbing all your private business everywhere. You process things, get them out of your system and move on, without the stress of wondering how long it takes for someone to blab your confidences.
I once asked my Mom, how can I be a better person and be respected by people and she said, just be quiet, only say what needs to be said and listen to people, more than talk, no one ever learnt anything by talking, people learn by listening. My father in law is also a very quiet man , and I respect him more than anyone.
@@iamnobodyy_keep away from irrelevant conversations and only comment with factual and meaningful statements. Do not indulge with idiots or they will bring you down to their level and beat you
People are intimidated by quietness. Whenever im in a group setting im normally quiet. I always get singled out. They always think im acting stuck up when in reality im just in my own world. It actually gets pretty annoying.
I have this extremely chatty friend who talks so much, she doesn't even recognise that I'm saying nothing at all hours later. In the pockets of silence where I'm digesting her words, she fills up that space with wordy nothingness. It's enough to give one a headache. One day, I asked her: "Are you uncomfortable with silence? I've noticed that you keep a busy narrative going nonstop, as if avoiding the absence of noise." She thought about it, then said, "You know what? I AM uncomfortable with silence. Silence scares me because it means someone is plotting against me." Okay, paranoia. 😢 That was heartbreaking. I'm not sure how excessive chattiness stops someone who might be plotting against you. I told her that not everyone who is silent is plotting against her -- I cannot speak for others, but I can for myself. If I'm not plotting an agenda, others like me who enjoy the quiet exist. It made her think, and be more self aware that she tends to have a motormouth, and that silence can be so peaceful. I had to teach her not to interrupt people midsentence, because she misses the entire context. Most people hear the first 8 words out of your mouth before they are already forming an inner dialogue, so they miss most of what people tell them. My family is a lot like me, appreciative of quietude. We are all really active listeners. My beloved nephew and I are both INFJs, as happy as two clams when we simply embrace the beauty of silence together. It's comforting. People who talk all time miss out on such a peaceful, regenerative calm.
Talk when required and when you talk, keep everything non-judgemental. Don’t offer opinion, let others talk. When conversing, talk in a way that is general and not specific in nature.
One persons super power is another persons emotionally cold. I think overly quiet people, who do it as a strategy are cold, and potentially psychopaths.
@@xenaareyoukittenmerightmeo7564 just take baby steps, life gives you a lot of challenges. My two adopted daughters where super shy when they where younger, if you met them now you'll never knew it cause we took baby steps. Start with simple "Hi." to new people and then walk away and/or go back what you are doing. That's how I started my daughters, and then they slowly started to open up when they came around. And if you feel overwhelmed, it's ok to let that person know that you need time and space because your overwhelmed. But baby steps first, and then it will slowly open up your independence and individual qualities. And it's ok to get excited about it, also be true to yourself and love yourself no matter what people may say. You know yourself better then anyone, and don't think you need to change that for anyone BUT for yourself.🤗💖
I learned this with my mom when she use to fuss all the time and I fussed back....that stressed me and raised my pressure, but when I learned that it takes TWO FOOLS TO FUSS....I started shutting up! Hon-taaay, I'm stress free!!! And it feels Awesome!!
To anybody who's reading this, I pray that whatever is hurting you or whatever you are constantly stressing about gets better. May the dark thoughts, the overthinking, and the doubt exit your mind. May clarity replace confusion. May peace and calmness fill your life. I hope anything that bothers you and makes you feel depressed will go away and you will feel comfortable with this video. Don't worry, tomorrow is a new day. Start over. It's not too late yet.
It's also great for combat and competition. The less you speak the less your enemy will know about you and your plans and intentions to win against them.
@@msdecemberloveangel8236 Always re-direct people to where you want them to go. Sometimes we have not perfected this, but the best way to perfect this is always remember not everyone is your friend, so tell them what you want them to know but keep the main things under the ocean like a iceberg.
People who are quiet, talk a lot in there mind. I’m one of them. The is so much power in being silent it’s not even funny. Once u remove your ego, and be silent that’s it game over you have the power.
Me too. As a child I was always asked "why are you so quiet?" therefore I thought there was something wrong with me. I learnt to talk more as an adult, but now I talk less and listen more. Back to normal
actually, most of the comments are excuses for being secretive, apathetic, and anti social because they dont like to make the effort that is required for thoughtful communication.
this is machiavellian. saying only what is necessary is fine, but saying less than necessary is merely deception and/or an expression of contempt for others.
I am a naturally silent person & I dont trust people that gossip. So I have always been careful with whom I talk to and wat I say to them...I have always thort about wat I'm going to say to a person b4 I even say it, & I have always been careful of my surroundings. Silent people are masters at observing people, & silence is so powerful ull draw attention ur way always😊
Yess.. That's how I am.. I'm a big Observer! I dont like gossip. I'm very quiet at 60 yrs old and always have been. Everything you have said it is me. Thanks. I'm not the only one❤
Being silent doesn’t work neither does speaking your mind…people choose who they will cooperate with period …no matter what attitude you may have. Silence and speaking up for myself these are yielding the same results.
Exactly. Better advice would be to choose your friends more carefully. You don’t have to change for people who already don’t like you or vibe with you.
But silence can also be rude because when you ask someone a question and they don’t respond they’re giving you the silent treatment or they are upset and expect you to be a mind reader and figure it out that comes across as rude and having lack of manners and the other person wants to control you with silence
The purpose of being silent is not to be rude. The polite response is I don’t feel like talking right now or I have nothing to say. It is rude to ignore someone unless their actions and behavior warrant being ignored.
If you ask a question and they refuse to give an answer, then they have dug a hole for themselves. Especially if that question is about trying to work out an issue, problem or unethical action. Silence actually can show the other person that they’re failure to explain means it is agreed. Silence in the wrong moments does not work. Silence is good if it’s not trying to convince or confirm something. Silence on its own is in actual fact a bad thing especially if it’s allowed someone to do the wrong thing.
Good video with interesting thoughts. The only missing items I would have liked to see is methods to resist speaking when you feel the urge to, aka how to actually practice silence more. It’s not always as simple as telling someone to be more quiet.
It not only give you respect, but also gives you the knowledge to give correct information to people thats willing to learn. Some people will ask so many questions and not care about your experience, you can debunk thous who are willing to give the time to listen themselves. Or even the ones that just give you stress, you can throw them out without too much stress without any guilt. "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make the horse drink the water." That's what my biological family and some of my adopted family say all the time, and it works a lot.
Silence is dangerous too. Imagine you have children who don't share their concerns with you and then go ahead to commit suicide. People need to know that there's time to talk and there's time to keep silent. Also, if you're a teacher, you must be a talker.
Abu Hurairah narrated that Prophet Muhammad SAW said: “Whoever believes in God and the Last Day should speak a good word or remain silent” [Al-Bukhari] Hence, silence is considered as the meaningful thing because when a person has not something effective or good to say then he/she should remain silent.
I been a silent person all my life and I found that being pressure to be more vocal hasn’t brought me any peace. This video makes solid points I can attest to. I feel detached from myself when I have to speak and preform for others, but I feel connected to self again when I’m just being silent. Great video!
The problem is some idiots have created a stereotype thinking that those who talk less are ‘complicated’ or ‘bad’ people. This is the reason many introverts feel self loathe under the pressure.
I live in nyc and it's a place where most people have a short attention span because so much is happening around you. I've noticed most people I talk to will check out within 2 mins of me speaking, they'll start checking their phone or just straight up looking away from me. Seeing that made me become silent. I don't think anyone wants to listen anymore but rather hear themselves talk
I agree, it's stupid. Humans don't like to have conversations anymore, don't let that change you. I'd you're talkative you'll find someone that appreciates that. Stay that way, it's important
"When you are trying to impress people with words, the more you say, the more common you appear, and the less in control. Even if you are saying something banal, it will seem original if you make it vague, open-ended, and sphinxlike. Powerful people impress and intimidate by saying less." -Law #4 from The 48 Laws of Power.
I find these days that many people over talk about themselves and won’t let anyone else talk about themselves. You learn a great deal about other people if you just listen. Often very helpful.
I am 37 with high bp since I was 19, I noticed after a phone call my bp will go up high. I’m trying to learn to utilize bring silence and take time out to rest and have quiet time, I TAKE MY BP AND IT GOES DOWN TO A NORMAL LEVEL! I loyalty just figured this out within the past year! Thank you for this video!
_Really_ glad I ran across this video. Have been trying to make a conscious effort to learn how to avoid being nudged into a defensive stance by someone's perceived negative ideas about what they think I "must have thought" or "must have meant by that." I am almost 40 and I am very conscientious about what I say and how I present myself, but darn it, it is simply not possible to win a positive validation check ✅ from everyone nowadays. It takes more energy and time to formulate long, well-detailed explanations and context to people, instead of simply 😶 taking a moment to ask myself if a response is _truly necessary,_ and then 🤷🏾♀️ acknowledging that I truly didn't mean to offend anyone and as long as I know who I am and what I meant, I don't truly need to spend more time apologizing and explaining to them than they did thinking about how they wanted to "clap back" at me and not caring whether they were even right or wrong. Self-control is a true prize.
Not always. People often take silence as micro-aggression. I’ve been doing old by a manger that I was angry bc I’m quiet. I was really just focused on my work.
I spend a lot time with God, in his beautiful presence of the holy spirit, It helps me to learn to be calm, to shut off the world outside, and be filled with his holy peace. And I agree that we need to listen more then we speak, Probably the reason why we have 2 ears and 1 mouth. =)
I heard an interesting perspective on the idea of being silent and it's benefits... ...basically that the aim is to be silent and still within one's own mind not to actually always be silent. From the silence and stillness of your thoughts you can conquer them and then when you choose to speak the words will be not wasteful or unkind. I found that a helpful perspective! 🙏🏽
When there's a patron/Customer trying to be rude and arguing, I just shut up, like It drains my energy and don't really entertain it. I don't wanna talk.
I normally when I used to work for cashier/customer service would simple just say "I'm sorry you have an bad day, but I'm just relaying a message." and/or "I'm sorry that you have a bad day, but why am I getting the full blunt of it when I'm just doing my job?" And then I'll listen to their reasoning, and if it's rude/racist/etc. I'll just say "Well that's your opinion, and I'm not sorry that my opinion doesn't match with yours. I'm my own person, and you are your own person. If you don't want to give respect about it and/or understand it, then you don't have to talk to me nor be in my line to cash out. I don't kiss a** and I don't do anything wrong for your attitude today.... Have a nice day."
Please teach balance Always remember perception and the power of experience and it’s affect Quantity and quality plus complete awareness of your words plus body language Picture the world / total population always meditating and never communicating or interacting🤔 The vocal chords and ability to speak is a magnificent gift that could end wars and fill people’s hearts and souls with immense warmth and love 🥰 ⚖️🥰
Im guilty as charged, much needed information thank you. It's just not easy for a bubbly person that I am but its necessary for myself and those around me. Been told too many times just this week. 😔
I was very silent person when I was out with groups and strangers, I was ignored sometimes. Being silent at work was considered a lack of confidence, at work it was not an asset to me. I had to get verbal to be recognized. I think it depends on the circumstances. I am trying to work on different areas of my communication. The problem is people have different mind sets of how others should behave and communicate. I have gained much more respect by speaking up more.
Pppl thought you lack confidence not because you didnt speak, but rather your body language, when you start to talk more you got comfortable at work and your body klanguage change. I don't speak much at work, but people respect me and fear because of my body language is very open, sometimes they even think I'm being rude or I'm too good for them to talk to me, that's how insecure people are.
I think the issue is choosing silent in the appropriate situations Not just being silent all the time long but is also abt choosing when , what and to whom to talk
@@zkennedy5671 where can I learn that kind of body language please I tend to be so cheerful and I can't have other than a happy face even i feel so confident and i hd a part ov silence but i feel that people see me deeply vulnerable weak and spoiled i wanna change that point especially at work Thank you
@@lamagiedevivre2006 are you happy? Why do you care so much about what others think of you? What are you trying to prove? Do you see what am I getting at? You are seen as a happy person the one who always tries to lift others, and that's a good thing, it's rare nowadays to see someone who cares about others. If you want others to respect you, the only thing you can do is to set boundaries, if you hear someone disrespecting you step you immediately, don't let them get away with it. "Hey, I didn't like what you said, if I hear it again we gonna have a problem." Never, ever let others bs you. Also, your body language plays a big role, If you are skinny is going be hard for people to respect you, unless you have some power over them (like a manager or boss) so my advice is to put on some muscle, I'm 5'9 168 pounds, as I said before I don't like to talk too much, and that's my superpower when I do talk is because I have something of value. It's a thin line tho, ppl who don't know me think I'm arrogant but I don't give a damn about them. I know who I am and who's at my side, those people are very dear to me and they know it. Good luck brother.
This is why I’ve always admired shy people & introverts. You never know they’re there & you don’t have to worry about them being in competition with you to get others attention. They could care less. I’ve al always been the friendly give me a few minutes & I’ll know everyone in the room. Friendliness can be a gift. However, I’ve learned over time ( I’m chatty too) it’s good to be quiet. Get a feel for people. Many times they reveal who they are when you’re quiet & unfortunately it’s too late when you realize you shouldn’t of told them your business. I’ve found great peace too when I work on being quiet. 🙏🏽🌷
Silence gives you time to collect more information ( even while you swim in murky waters ) to collect more data and filter right information for processing and also the time to do correct processing; resulting in correct / right decision making. This is the true test of : " Comparing An Apple With An Apple ".
Over the years I’ve come to realise I have a super power. Not fast than a locomotive and not able to fly; but even more powerful; I can keep my moth shut
I don't mean to minimize this to something as trivial as this but....this is why I had it pretty easy with girls in club or lounge setting when we went out. Growing up I just was naturally a silent person, but yet I don't look unapproachable or mean about it. I have a bit of a scowl but I smile a lot lol. And I'm not shy, I just speak when spoken to or needed. I grew up in Watts and long beach, my family has a history if gang banging I'm sad to say but, I know a lot of them. And I remember when I was young one of them looked at me and told me "man you know why I like you? because you stay quiet and speak when spoken to". Since that day I never forgot this and found it better to keep silent. And I have never been approached when some ones secret was told to me, and it got out and accused for being the one to give it away. They know it was not told by me. 😂😂
A few drawbacks are after staying silent for so long, you retreat to your imagination and the longer you stay there, the harder it is to come back. On the topic of secrets, quiet people tend to be honest and cant handle social situations like social people can so secrets are not okay with us like people think it is. We also live in a social world so we cant always be silent and need to know how to communicate.
Very beautifully presented nuggets on the value of silence! grateful for this animated version, which makes these images great to be retained, especially when you are in an introspection mode! Thank you so much!
..Does silence also mean being quiet or shy? I have been more of an introvert or the quiet type since I was lil, and sometimes enjoyed being more on my own, though from time to time I would wish I had a sis or some more genuinely caring and long-lasting friends.. And though, being an introvert has its advantages and disadvantages too.., how does one manage and thrive in life, with wanting to study Psychology as a career too, for instance? Loving the video btw, I enjoy watching such kinda vids, thanks.
I know it's power but it's still sad that I became silent naturally, it's because I'm never heard and even if I spoke I'm not taken seriously, it reached a point where I open my mouth and close it as fast, it gives me peace not gonna lie but I feel like many things would have changed if we spoke em
i hear you. the "lets all find our power" outlook is actually a misleading oversimplification that can be quite harmful and dissatisfying. compassion, connection and integrity should be the goal. dont be silent, and dont drone on. extremes are almost never advisable for a human. its not always easy, but the best course of action is to strive to balance listening and speaking with thoughtfulness and care.
Silent People can be very boring to hang around with. Also, many people don’t trust silent people. It’s like they’re constantly trying to hide something.. Who they truly are.
i agree. overly silent people are generally self absorbed, anti social, insecure, and untrustworthy, same as people who talk too much. extremes are never good.
Some silent people can be kind and have interesting personalities, they’re just choosing their friends carefully. They can’t please everyone and they’re not obligated to entertain others which is okay. Please don’t assume that all silent people are the same :-)
I dated someone who took forever to respond to a question, and he was by default silent most of the time. I knew that he was calculating what to say by playing out different responses and resulting impact. He confirmed that was what he was doing. But to me that is inauthentic and in the end I had no idea who he was, stood for, and therefore had no personality. It was a very boring time. There’s a time and place for silence, not all the time. It’s a balance.
It’s not always good to be silent. It can help like speaking up for yourself helps but as a whole. I just tell ppl what i want them to hear. Control what comes out of your mouth and you can be as social and talk as much you want. Most of the ppl i know ask me for advice. I’m a leader so i talk frequently
I thought this was for smart people who don’t need to hear their own voice 24/7 and introverts tired of people ‘wondering’ what they’re thinking. SORTA 🙄
Words are not the only tool for expression. That is completely false. Actions and body language are just as good forms of expression. Ask a deaf person or a mute. Or watch animals and wildlife. That was a very ignorant thing to say. Don't lose credibility
Yeah but you got to say something every now and then or people are going to think that you're weird or shy. But I know what this videos trying to say don't over invite yourself with speech holdback!!! have an opinion on something but the more you look stupid the less you should talk.Act like you know something that they don't. That's what this videos trying to say.
I always get described as quiet. People around me love me but I don’t believe that anyone thinks I’m particularly intelligent. Everyone says I’m kind and such a great listener but I don’t feel as though I’m seen as intelligent to spite being quiet my entire life
