Wife material girlfriend material?
Imagine an India where the British still ruled.
You are under someone. Someone's position or race in this case is considered higher or better than you.
You are scared. You can be questioned any time. You need to obey. Rules are made by them. You have no say in it. You can't question anything.
There were clubs and establishments where only certain people could go.. Basically nothing, no one was considered an equal to the ruler.
This is scenario A..
Now imagine free India. No more British. No one is ruling. People needn't ask permission to a higher authority on how to live their life in their own damn country. At least as Indians we're all considering each other equal.
This is scenario B
Now go through the characteristics of scenario A. That's how patriarchy plays out in the society.
Scenario B is how a free society is supposed to be.
When you say a woman is marriage material. What you mean is a woman who can be displayed for the patriarchal world. To your parents and society that's patriarchal. It can be anything that you decide. Maybe Wears saree all the time, or cooks & cleans without questioning. Bears children on time or whatever.
And girlfriend material is what she can be in scenario B. A free country. So if a woman lives her life the way she wants, without allowing being questioned, wears what she wants, works or sits at home according to her own choice.. Basically if she asserts her autonomy, wants to follow her OWN choices, then she's girlfriend material.
So from my first analogy,
A girlfriend material is someone who doesn't fit in British India.
And British India is your head that's Patriarchal,or your family and friends and the society at large thsts patriarchal.
Do you get it?
You expect someone to live in British India when it is already free India. How is that possible?
If its your thoughts and beliefs that are patriarchal you need to change that. Instead of forcing people to get into a system they no longer are a part of.
There's no wife material girlfriend material.
First of all no living being is a material.
Swati Jagdish
Sexuality health educator
Human not material
9 окт 2024
