Wife Mismanages Potentially Valid Self-Defense Claim | Jema Donahue Case Analysis 

At least she "took out the trash". He won't be around to ruin any more lives.

Seems to me she killed him because he was stalking her and wouldn’t leave her alone. There needs to be better ways to stop this kind of thing before it ends in someone getting killed.

Why in the freaking world would someone bully someone for being raped? I was a victim of bullying for disabilities which I get because kids can legit be frightened by it, but I’d think knowing something horrible like that, I’d think the kids would be sad and upset for her

I know her story had some holes but tbh I just can't bring myself to care one bit when someone abuses a person for years and then they finally get what they had coming to them. I would never convict someone who had been abused like that.

I knew this was going downhill once Dr. Grande said she met him in prison. Lord why. 🤦🏾‍♀️🤷🏾‍♀️

This incident shows how a person traps themselves and can see no way out! These individuals were damaged people feeding off each other’s weaknesses…at the bottom of the emotional entrapment, no logical reasoning was available to process…no love or hate was present…just a broken person with a gun to fix the problem! Heartbreaking…

I had a narcissistic ex who used to say "hate is closer to love than calm". For some people, sadly, rage and violence are strong emotions and acts that they can relate to and a calm, caring love doesn't appeal to them.

As a mom, having a guy who's been released from prison watch your kids sound like a horrible idea. Dating him in the first place doesn't sound much better.

I can't help but feel sorry for this very confused lady !! She was So Abused by this Monster !! He really deserved what he got, in my opinion. He was Pure Evil !! 😈

As much as I value life and would be okay with him rotting in jail, this is still self defense. He introduced a gun into the situation, the same gun was used against him - that is very much what they teach you in self defense classes. I can see she made up a lot about how it went down, but I kinda feel like she just didn't have it in her to admit she had enough, he escalated the situation and she shot him when she had the chance. That is what got her the manslaughter charge, in my personal opinion. Appreciate your insight as always!

She learned early on that she cannot trust authority including her parents, or most people in general. Her survival strategy was to be nice to get by, to get basic needs met, and not expect more. And always stay vigilant, she didn’t have the luxury of focusing on herself. She carried this into adulthood, because this doesn’t just go away without serious reprogramming. That always attracts psychopaths, and gives too much confidence in dealing with them. You learn early how to live with them and are comfortable with it. Until one day your survival instincts are triggered.

Classic case of “if you lay down with dogs, you’re bound to get fleas”. Who could’ve ever seen it ending like this, except everyone. 🤷‍♂️

Thanks Dr. Grande for covering this sad but enlightening story. My first husband was a beater. One time he almost killed me, our landlady had to pull him off. I had lesions and my head was completely black and blue, both eyes swollen shut. That happened less than a year into the marraige a few months after the birth of our first daughter. He continued to hit me, not to that extent any more. But what lead me to tell him to leave was one day when I came home earlier than expected and found him naked in bed with our nine year old daughter. This completely shocked me. Our other daughter, now 50 years old has a wonderful relationship with her father, who she told me had also sexually abused her, although not to the extent as our youngest daughter was. I can't stand the sight of him and have not spoken to him in 40 years. I know I have trauma shock from beatings from my father , a light weight boxer, and from a football player when I was in university whom I had one date, he beat me unconscious, I was in and out of consciousness for a few days. I wanted to kill my x-husband for many years for what he did to our youngest daughter. I was fortunate to have had good friends and therapy. Still, I wish he was dead. My little girl was so small at age nine, this still breaks my heart. I am married to a completely non-violent man now for almost 30 years, surprised I could have a relationship. Thanks to God and good people we can get well.

I am only three minutes into this and I already feel terrible for the childhood Jema experienced.

I know my thoughts are extreme on this but I think if there is a restraining order and that person is violating it then you have every right to pull the trigger as much as it takes to get your life back.

I'm sorry Jema went through that, and at 13!

Having a relationship with a convict period is a no go !but Leaving a convicted felon you just met with your children is totally preposterous and completely irresponsible; what an extremely dumb decision !

I like your show, but if I were on that jury, the only things I would find her guilty of were tampering with evidence and mistreatment of a corpse. In cases of battered spouses, it's no uncommon for the abuser to exercise extreme control over the victim, hence why she didn't flee the house when he called her to the basement. As far as the gun not working and then working, that happens all the time, particularly when you have a cheap gun and/or cheap ammo. Common crooks aren't known for using quality weapons or for taking care of them. Lastly, while some parts of the story don't seem to match up, in a struggle, things change in fractions of a second. Also, someone hyped up on adrenaline or certain drugs, like meth, can keep moving even after suffering a fatal injury. Just my thoughts.

Really great take on self defense! I don't think many people are losing sleep about an abusive crack dealer.

Finally crawling in bed for the night and having lots of anxiety and tension. Couldn't get relaxed, so clearly I typed "Dr. Grande" into the search bar for instant anxiety relief. You do so much more than educate and entertain. You have talked me to sleep many times. If you had a second channel dedicated to reading bedtime stories I bet you would have a really good following 😊

Dr. Grande, is there any child equivalent to Battered Woman Syndrome? I watched a review a couple of days ago where it had the two youngest children put on death row, a brother and sister who made several attempts to tell parents, teachers, and investigations by CPS and police which didn't help them at all. They were being sexually abused by an uncle who was a registered sex offender and living in the home with the father and her sister. They planned the murder of all three adults in the home as they'd asked father and girlfriend for help before. It ended up they only killed the girlfriend and then got scared. They didn't tell their defense attorneys about the abuse because they'd told so many people before and no one helped them. I've never heard a defense for children. But they are more vulnerable than women because if no one believes or will help them, they really can't just leave unlike an adult woman who has more options. I think of the Melendez brothers. Of course, they didn't reach out for help like the children in the case I am talking about. The children in that case ended up having some changes to their sentences and got out at 29 and 30 years old or so, I believe. They were 13 and 12 when they murdered their dad's girlfriend. Any insight would be great.

I cannot understand why women marry men AFTER they have threatened their lives. He told her at 4 months that he would kill her rather than separate. Then she married him AFTER that. How do you walk down the aisle, knowing that person has threatened your life?

my eyebrow raised when she said he left her upstairs to go to basement after he locked the door and windows...with what....deadbolts??? my first thought was wgy didnt she just go out the window OR if he locked the door, how did she get out to go to the basement when he supposedly called her down there? she was an idiot for getting involved with a freshly released convict anyway.

What a coincidence! I just watched an episode of I am a killer on Netflix last night. Her story was one of them. I don't know why people think that they will get away with murder. They rarely do. Thanks Dr.G. for all your hard work.💜

As almost ALL homeschool parents will say: Forced Association is NOT Socialization. As a homeschool mother, my kids are very social with people from babies to elderly, not just kids their own ages. Oh yeah, they also graduated college before they graduated high school. Just sayin

Good day Dr Grande😊I agree with you on she had every right to claim self defense.

I saw this in Netflix’s ‘I am a Killer.’ A lot of these killers have one thing, stories don’t add up.

I’m from rural Missouri, not far from some of the locations cited. There are probably as many meth houses as there are “houses of the Lord.” I’m guessing she may have concealed his death to avoid losing access to her children. Even with a legitimate self-defense claim, she may have been trying to avoid drawing attention to conditions or behaviors that could raise concerns. In the same way, her homeschooling could have been implemented to shroud abuse. She may have kept questionable people in her life and around her kids because it’s what she had modeled for her and/or her judgment was seriously impaired by substances. I feel for her suffering, but I can’t support her choices.

Dr Grande, .... I miss your jabs at the "Garbage State" of New Jersey. Please for your fans, please put in the occasional jab at N.J. ! 😃

Two points 1 how did he get in the house,2whos gun was it ,I think he was entrapped into the house

I think that Jema lost it after years of abuse. He would not go away and had intimidated her into taking him back multiple times. She felt helpless and just took him out. She likely thought he was going to kill her when he came to the house, as she probably did every time he violated the restraining order. He’s not much of a loss to society and if he wasn’t dead, he would have ultimately killed Jema or another woman. This may seem cold, but I don’t care.

You are doing a very awesome job Dr. Grande! You put out more high quality videos than any other channel. Thank you!

Here’s a take away: If you kill someone and claim self-defense, please report it immediately to the authorities. If you don’t, you’re doing a cover-up and they can charge and convict you for murder!

This is what happens when you can't afford a decent lawyer.

Love and responcebility are a strange combination when it comes to a abusive relationship. It always gets out of hand somehow. And it does not have to end in murder for most of the time one person in this type of relationship gets a life of terror and fear . It's easy to say " just walk away or just don't go for any person with this abusive trait. But it's not that simple. Abusers know who to pick and sweet talk themselfs into your life , by the time you get hit it's to far into the relationship. It takes a realy strong minded person to leave then and there if that first hit comes. And beleave me those are rare.

My niece is a teacher for 15 years now. One day in 2021 she was on school property and slipped on ice, severely fracturing her ankle. For some reason she said that her students and other kids, they pointed and laughed while she screamed in pain laying on the school walkway. This was during a school lunch hour time so many kids were outside. After a minute one or two FINALLY helped her. Just disgusting behavior by teenaged children. Makes me even more glad that I didn't have any children (by choice). Such lack of moral ethics wouldn't have been tolerated in my house hold. I worry for the future and these children being responsible for their own babies and households. Because of hard financial times I have a feeling that many will be living and raising their kids in their parents (grandparents) basements and panning off their babies care onto their parents & grand parents. EVEN WORSE and more so than they do now already. Keep yourselves safe and PRAY for our country!!

One of my friends ended up in a relationship like this one. He put her in the hospital twice. When she tried to leave him she hid out at her parents' house. He arrived with a baseball bat and tried to kill her father. Thankfully the police arrived first. I don't think it's right to blame the female in the relationship. Some relationships start out normally. Jealousy can rear its ugly head, along with control issues. Pregnancy can bring out the worst in the husband. Sometimes there were no problems until the wife became pregnant. In my friend's case, the death of her ex-bf (at someone else's hand) was the only thing that saved her. Leaving doesn't help if he finds you and tries to kill you and/ or your family. I'm more interested to know how a person becomes so mentally ill/ violent.

I'm not surprised by any of this!

Jema may have experienced dissociation that is not uncommon among children who have been traumatized and who continue to be traumatized in adulthood. She really may not have a clear picture of the events on the day of the shooting. Many abused women live under the constant threat that they will be killed. Psychologically it makes sense that when they are attacked, they engage in "overkill" as all of the years of terror are released at once. I hope her and her children receive the care and compassion they deserve.

Dr. Grande, look into the case known as the chalk gun killer , Fort Worth , Tx. As far as I know no one has posted about it. It's pretty interesting

Excellent analysis, Dr. Grande! ❤️

I love your channel! Thank you, sir!

Here early for one of the only rational, and still fabulously hilarious people in these youtube streets

If there was a protection order against Javon and he entered her home, wouldn’t laws like the castle doctrine or stand your ground be a valid defense?

Really weird I just watched the Netflix series I am a Killer with Jema's story. This is such a strange case, because I do believe he was very violent but her actions afterwards weren't the best. I feel bad for her and think her sentence though is justified, it was manslaughter- not murder just in the fact that she had a restraining order against him and he brought a gun to her house. Great analysis Dr Grande!

What are we doing as a society if a convicted rapist only gets 120 days in prison?

I say good for her, the odds of her prevailing in any kind of physical altercation were astronomical, yet she did. And that bastard is no loss to the world.

Perfect timing! Thanks Dr. Grande😉

Dr. Grande, I'm so grateful that you just read the ads from your sponsors now. I like to fall sleep listening your soothing voice, but the standard ads usually wake me up, which defeats the purpose. You reading the ads maintains that ASMR-type flow, helping me to fall asleep and stay asleep. Btw, thank you so much for tucking me into bed every night these past couple of years. Know that you are providing an invaluable service to scores of insomniacs out there! ♥️

I watched this case on Netflix and I was hoping you would cover it, so happy you did it! Thank you for the comprehensive review, Dr. Grande.❤

What’s up DOC G ! Putting ‘‘em out late night. Happy New Year’s buddy 🎉😎✌🏼

Hi Dr. Grande. Could you please do an analysis on George Santos and his many lies?

These ex prisoners are never properly rehabilitated. These women should be told that.

What a beautiful background with the ambient lighting and cactus motif. Very artistic.

Dr. Grande your speculations are my daily enjoyment. I appreciate you!💓

Hello 👋 good Dr. Grande 😀 thank you for posting, I love ❤️ your speculations and analysis ❤️ have a great Doc!

Former DV/SV Victim Advocate, including of teens. I can confirm bullying is common, including of adults! 👀

At least he won't hurt any else justice served 😉

Why the hell was she hooking up with a drug dealer who was in prison when she has two children??? These women make some helluva decisions when it comes to relationships. His killing is no loss to society but now she’s separated from her kids and has a felony on her record for life. smh

A temporary restraining order? How about a permanent restraining order? Is that possible??

Hello Dr Grande...this is a strange one. As always I love reading your videos and seeing you. Thank you for your analysis of all these cases. ♥️🌷

Should people go to prison for being stupid, and does Jema get any respect for her choice in men... Not in the slightest, however I'm still going with the lighter sentencing as the whole 'battered wife syndrome' meets 'unstable antisocial crack dealer' puts her in the victim spot and hopefully she'll be out on good behaviour after 5.

Dr Grande, how about the case of Mandy Stavik?? It'd be great to hear your analysis.

What a terrible situation to be in! Who wouldn't be scared of not getting fair treatment by the law, and who would be thinking straight after that? The poor woman chose the law by getting a restraining order, but it didn't protect her, sounds like she didn't have a choice,good riddance, I'm sick of violent men! She should be free!

Happy New Year 🎉 to my fellow fans of Dr. Grande, and to himself. Now, this title isn't the most catchy, but of course I'll watch anyway. 😉

I love listening to this man. His calm voice and intelligent use of sarcasm. Plus I learn so much. Annnnnd his facial expressions don’t change. 😂 Also, I know worked with a man who was Javon’s friend. We were at work one day, and during downtime, we were watching an episode on this couple. My coworker said “she didn’t have to kill that man like that.” I asked him “was he actually beating on her?” he said “Yeah but still.” 😒😒

She knows how to pick em

I think it's important to have BWS aside from PTSD and commonly understood self-defense, because one of the risks when the abuser reaches their victim is not that they would harm the victim, but that they wouldn't - they are very skillful manipulators and the victim knows that and their own weakness toward this behaviour. Like we from far away may of course see it as a completely rational choice (they abuse you - go away), but unfortunately reality doesn't work this simple way. My point is that even though the victim of domestic abuse may not feel threatened by immediate violence, they may still feel very threatened by their own weakness in contact with the abuser and their inability to leave this actual situation in some kind of self-controlled manner. Like if you were a puppet, you cannot just unhook and leave when the hook is still present - you need to cut it off. It may look like overreacting and not a self-defense but how can you explain this thought pattern to anyone when just few years ago home violence was not considered a big deal... and some people don't get what's the problem even today.

There is an easy explanation for the gun misfire. If it was a double action only semiauto, a round can misfire and when the firing pin hits the round again, it will go off. I've had it happen a couple times with my gun.

If she wanted to use a self defence claim she should not have taken the body and tried to dispose it. She could start by telling the truth from the outset.

That's alot of struggling for the weapon & stories. Agreed. BWS shouldn't be used for deceit or homicide if no eminent threat. Great analysis again. Thanks Dr G😊🧡🧡

I agree that the behaviour of Jema after the fact didn't help her but I think your understanding of Battered Woman Syndrome needs some work.

I watched the story on Netflix. After watching the show I think law enforcement and the DA should have used self defense. Jema shouldn't be in prison. Because Jema had a restraining order against her abuser. He knowingly and willingly violated the restraining order, trespassed into the home, attacked her, threatened her with a firearm, assaulted her and he said he was going to kill her. She fought back and he died. But the DA ran with manslaughter/ battered woman syndrome instead of agreeing to self defense. When it should have been a clear as day self defense and Jema should not have been charged with anything. The DA got it wrong. Jury got it wrong too.

Could you please analyze the case of Jennifer San Marco, who killed 7 people and herself in Santa Barbara County, CA in 2006? What possible mental illness could she have been suffering from? Thank you.

In cases where there's a restraining order but the person turns up with a deadly weapon, it would be much fairer if deadly weapon turned on the abuser meant no charges, but that's just how my head sees it.

One way to clear a misfire in a rimfire pistol, if it has a double action is to simply squeeze the trigger a second or third time. The primers of .22 rimfire ammunition can fail, id say maybe at least two out of a box of 500. It happens.

I’m not sure if I agree with the concept of BWS being a means for a woman to “overreact”. Abuse being characterized as being “mistreated” grossly minimizes the affect of years of abuse. As someone that was taken from my parents bcuz of abuse and a survivor or DV I can assure you that in the moment of being beaten up yet again you constantly feel like your life is in danger. That woman was not mistreated. She was terrorized. That man threatened her and her kids. The police don’t do ANYTHING until you have been murdered. I’m not sure if her story of events is 100% true but I know for sure that she lived in constant fear. If you don’t know what that’s like then you (ppl in general) are not in any position to call her response as “over reacting”. She moved states and he followed. I’m sure she feels more free in prison than she has ever felt since the abuse started.

Please cover Jane Stafford, her story is told in the RU-vid available movie Life With Billy.

Cover the Margeret Kastanis case please!

I wonder what demographic/ background/occupation makes someone more likely to abuse their spouse because neither my friends or family or I have ever done anything like that. And we’re a wild bunch but that’s just not even an option. 😎✌🏼

I guess her mom didn't restrict her enough..not to get knocked up.

On one hand: that story she told the cops is obvious bullshit. On the other hand: I can't see why she'd make up such obvious bullshit instead of just saying "the abusive ex broke in and I lit him up." The latter is not only believable, but a guaranteed get-out-of-jail-free card.

The question is: Has the dry humour been enhanced by the new "desert" themed set?🤔 Seriously though, great job you are doing on these topics.

The mother didn't restrict the girl that much -- she did manage to get pregnant!

Jema is the queen of bad choices. Mom got pulled into it, went to jail for it. Hopefully she can right the ship one day.

Her being found guilty of manslaughter was a miscarriage of Justice. Her abuser should have never been in her home with a court order against him. End of story

If she would have just left the body where it was and didn't clean up the scene..... the self defense senerio would have been believable. Self defense + his past record would have put her in the clear. Cleaning things up is way too suspicious.

Hey Dr. Grande, Could you do one on Brian "The Liver King" Johnson and male body dysmorphia?

Yeah, see if a Judge gives an order to stay away from someone just stay all the way away. It's a protection order for a reason; usually because of the Victim's true need but also the kids and in some cases by those able to manipulate a court. Just stay all the way away. I wouldn't have given her much punishment and it would've been based only on the unlawful disposal of his body. He put himself in grave danger.

Great analysis, Dr. Grande. Thank you.😊

So sad, I left after violence, my husband had a hammer, smashing things, it was worth leaving and never looking back! So far one year of freedom.

No one has ever committed murder being smothered by love and affection

3:18 he's dressed like every defendant in court who has never worn dress clothes a day in their lives--except in court.

I just watched this episode on Netflix and I have to say, there are a lot of holes in what she’s saying. Something of things she said he was doing and saying seem near impossible. I can’t imagine someone shot in their shoulder can restle their “victim” to the ground, while thrashing their arms. The other thing that doesn’t make sense is if the hun jammed when he supposedly tried to shoot her, how all of a sudden she was able to shoot him? And where is the mark on her head from him hitting her over the head with the gun? How was he able to point the gun at his left ear if his head is right next to hers? And of course she paid someone to get rid of his body. Who is believing this story??

I just watched her prison story! Wow! So many bad choices.

Your breakdown of these very complicated disorders is nothing short of mind-blowing! I really don't know how you unravel it all, Dr. Grande!! ♡♡

yeah yeah I watched that on "I am Killer" . . . they interviewed the prosecutor who was like "I don't think her husband was talking much after she shot him in the mouth" ha ha ha

Textbook example of self inflicted suffering. Hard to feel sorry for her.

I feeĺ this story is so sad. I feel the verdict is too harsh. I feel home schooling is not for all. I feel she needed better social skills. This story is sad. Prayers for this family.

Typical relationship in these circumstances