I was the girl who asked this question at denver comic con 2013. I was 9 years old when I asked it. I asked it because that year at school I got bullied and felt bad because she made it seem like a bad thing. I am doing great now and is still alive. :)
When I was watching this I wondered whatever happened to this little girl. So happy that you are doing so well and so happy you got such an awesome answer. I don't think that anyone could have done better than Will.
I'm looking back on this and I remembered that I wanted to ask a question, but I was to scared to do it. My family told me I should and one year later, 8,000,000 people know me by a simple question I asked. People don't know who I was or what I was going through. Every time I think of going up there and asking that ONE question, I remember this one lady who looked back at me, and gave me a smile and a "Ok" sign. I will never forget the day when I was nine years old and asked a question about being a nerd.
+Mia Gambino I am a school teacher and I have a comic club at school. We publish student made comics and also hold an annual comic con at our school. I first showed this video to my comic club class after one member was called a nerd and his friends all stood up for him. I remembered seeing this video and showed it to them in class and they all loved it. One student in particular even cried and begged me to show this to the whole school. I did and we start off each comic con with this video. This video has been doing some much good!!! Thank you for having the courage to ask it.
+Dean Fenech Oh wow I would never think for this to be shown in schools! This really made me notice that you can do something small it and it might influence someone. Good or bad. If you think someone is getting bullied please get them help. It is a big problem in most schools and can lead to depression or even suicide. In the video I will talk a little more about why I asked the question. I was bullied a lot in the school year before I asked this. Anyways, I thank you again for showing this video. I hope you have a great year!
+Mia Gambino Great. I'll keep you posted. The kids were so moved by this video they are actually turning this into a comic themselves as part of our school's comic club and anti bullying campaign.
Mia Gambino I guess you're 13 now. Here in Australia when I went to school we were called "squares" instead of "nerds". I was into music although I never saw Star Trek until I was 30! Now I'm a big Star Trek fan.
Is it really? I'd say it's mainly about liking escapist fiction. There are as many stupid nerds as stupid jocks. Bullying people is never okay but congratulating yourself for liking something which is in essence as inconsequential as the things other people are into is not smart either.
@@jeffc5974, Not in the way they are using it. Wheaton specifically mentioned liking Dr. Who. That fits with the definition that Nowwhattian Boghog gave. I wish nerd didn't have that meaning, but quite frankly, it does.
@@alenciaga21 I’ve got a theory about why. Like Wil, I’m a nerd from way back, although I’ve never appeared on a Star Trek series (but am old enough to have seen TOS when it first aired!). My theory is this: as much as bullies and jocks might try to deny it, they’re incredibly envious of people who use their minds as much or more than they do their bodies, who love to continue learning new things their whole lives, and who eventually develop genuine and acknowledged expertise on certain, specific subject areas and are then recognized for all of it. We have indeed inherited the Earth, as was prophesied, and the cost for that great inheritance is that there’ll always be people who resent us.
Treats her like an intelligent person, not talking down to a child. He spent all the time he needed to make her feel better about being her, and why bullies are the way they are. Bullies are always worse off than the people they pick on.
I absolutely love when he pivots from "You may not understand this" to "I know you can understand this, because you asked this question." He realized in the moment that he was starting to talk down to her and he didn't just change his approach, he made sure to build up her confidence, to say I believe in you because of the courage you showed. It was the perfect correction.
Yeah, that's not how bullies work. They in fact show higher measures in self-esteem, self-worth, self-confidence, and happiness than those that are bullied. This myth has been perpetuated for years and it is a complete fabrication.
As a teacher, I address this issue far too frequently. Mr. Wheaton, I was so blown away by your answer. I was especially wowed by the fact that you were giving an instantaneous response in front of thousands of people. Yet, your answer was honest, caring, and inspiring. You changed that little girl's life. Tomorrow, I will show this video to my students.
@@jweezy5490 you'll have to get through Lt. Ryker first. He went to school on set at Star Trek TNG. To be fair, he had to work hard to be cast as anything other than Wesley Crusher, the nerdy son, after Star Trek. He writes about that, and how he just stopped fighting it, and embraced gaming and all the nerdy things he loves. He's a great guy, and a huge celebrity advocated for nerds.
@Bill Chisholm Step one is feeling ok with yourself - or there will a bully wherever you go. Sounds like you would make a good neighbour. Thanks for calling them out.
I'm 53 and I'm sitting here with tears in my eyes at that response. As someone who was bullied by all of the male role models in my life - dad and two older brothers - this question stung. And Mr Wheaton's answer was absolutely perfect.
The kid who bullied me more relentlessly than anyone in school hit me up years later on Facebook and apologized. Turns out he was having terrible troubles (he missed our graduation because he was in rehab) and he lashed out so he wouldn’t have to face them. We are now good friends.
I've been contacted by a couple of girls from school, one who regrets teasing me, another who regrets standing by and doing nothing while I was teased. They are both raising kids (I think boys in both cases) to have empathy, and that is the best way I can think of to make up for the wrongs of the past.
Most celebs would've stopped talking after making a point that garnered a round of applause. You could tell Will really wanted to help this fellow nerd by giving an in-depth analysis of bullying and how to overcome it. Spot on advice. Good job, Will!
I'm 55 years old and I'm sitting here crying. This was the best, most heart felt answer he could have given. I tell in love a little with Wil Wheaton today.
This is why we love Wil. Not his exact words, but his attitude. Love the thing you love. Don't be ashamed of who you are. Remember others have hidden struggles.
The thought, care, empathy, and compassion that went into Will's answer is incredible. Only someone who's been through something similar themselves can give an answer like that.
Too bad he's completely wrong in his politics due to being overly compassionate- it means he willfully ignores biological and statistical fact in favor of feelings
@@Connection-Lost I bet your a hoot at parties. Not everything is about politics. Sick of this politicize every word culture we have now. YOU are the problem with the world.
Knowing now that he was abused and neglected by his parents, the part where he talks about kid bullies being pushed by their parents into being something they don’t want to be is way more impactful.
One thing about nerds : we know our intelligence is above average. Of course an adult nerd would talk to a young nerd as if he were an adult. That's how we wanted to be talked to at that age, after all.
As a father who raised three really amazing Nerds (while watching ST:TNG together as a family) I just want to say I'm proud of you Wil. You are a good man.
This warms my heart. He put his soul into this response. I could feel him reliving and re-walking through all of the pain he had to go through to relate to her question as well as he did and be as inspiring and healthy to support her through it in the best he could in that moment. What an amazing response!
I've read some of his blog, he had it even worse. It wasn't just classmates that were terrible to him, his father was a jerk, his mother was complicit, and he didn't get much choice about the acting jobs. I'm glad he's been finding his way past a lot of that, the past few years.
@PlasmaStorm73 [N5EVV] yeah. I’m glad she did it, because I glad I have seen him in so many different media over the years. This was so great to watch and listen to. 😊
Years ago, when my daughter was dealing with bullies in school, I told her to do this: Find one thing about that person that you honestly admire, and tell them that you admire that quality of theirs - it has to be honest, not idle flattery. Ask them for their help or advice in an area that they excel in, and then see what happens. Within one year, she had transformed the former bullies into allies, and become one of the most popular kids in school .. but more than that, she passed on the technique to those former bullies, and they began to change the way they interacted with everyone else around them. It works because people want to befriend those that feed their self esteem, and people WANT to feel like their contributions to a group are appreciated.
Wow! Simply, wow! The gift you gave your child, her classmates, the school and your community will pass on throughout the world. I know that sounds like hyperbole, but this lesson will heal our country and our planet. Thank you.
Seriously how does Wil never stop being awesome? Every time I see a video of him at cons or in interviews he's just so incredibly inspiring, it's really amazing,
As a nerd turned into a nerdy adult, it gets so much better. We’re now in a world (at least my world is this way) where it is welcome to like what is considered nerdy. Anime, roleplaying games, sci-fi, video games, complex board games are all widely available and accepted by a general audience. The key is to surround yourself with friends who support your passions or even enjoys them with you.
I find that unless I got to events or stores that have these nerdy outlets, I don't see anyone that loves this stuff i do. No one talks about it and those who do are always off on their own away somewhere i can't see or out of the way. Most people in my life tend to see what i like as poison in my life. I figured by now things i love would be so common i could relax but I guess life still keeping these things on the outsides of my life. Ive tried talking about these things to people that everyone seems to act like theres nothing beyone basic tv and mario and monoply. eat sleep work and die.
@@pixelqube3274 I've also noticed that as much as it's common place nowadays that it's become casual viewing without any passion. Usual conversations go "oh I like this and that" next topic..... Back when it wasn't common place in the late 90s early 2000s when you met someone who shared a common interest as you that they'd take the time to have a conversation about it and find out what else you're into.
I have ALWAYS loved Wil but dude you just skyrocketed my respect to another level. Played this interview for my 11 year old daughter who has been called a nerd and hearing this response from you, knowing you played Wesley Crusher, one of her favorite characters, just put the biggest smile on her face!!!!! Thank you
Here's the way I've always seen it: being told you're a nerd is just essentially being told you're passionate about something. Whether it's collecting action figures, video games, comic books - it's just another way of saying that you spend your free time doing things you enjoy, and in what way is that an insult? Everyone's a nerd in some way - even Jocks are pretty much 'sport nerds'. Whenever I used to be called a nerd, I would respond with 'of course I am, why aren't you?', and to this day they've never had a comeback for it. If you're NOT a nerd, you're missing out.
My love and admiration of this man just spiked and that is almost hard to believe considering how much I respected him before. Wil Wheaton is definitely one of the good ones.
If I hadn’t known better I would have thought he had this answer prewritten. You can tell this was something that deeply resonated with him. What a great response.
I save this video to my 'Health' playlist, because it resonates with me. Wil is an amazing person and has been through hell and back. The man gets it. He gets us. He's a treasure.
This is so touching. I have dealt with being called a nerd and being judged for it my entire life and I still wake up every day, wear a new Star Wars shirt and enjoy being a nerd because its what I love about me. I am so glad that Will gave this answer. It's so heartwarming in so many ways.
I watched this video last year but forgot how special this is... And I want to make sure I can remember to reshare it the next time kids and I talk about bullies. I always get chills with Will's last sentence.
*Wil Wheaton* is awesome. This is such a great response to a question from a little girl on how to deal with being called a "nerd." A mild form of bullying, for sure. But bullying nonetheless.
To be fair, we've taken the term nerd back. Nowadays its cool and popular to be a nerd. And that's fucking awesome, because it took a long time to get rid of the word's negative connotations!
Josh Gammon I disagree. Some children are mean with it of course, but most aren't. Take me, for example. I'm a high honor roll student in freshman year who makes computer games for the Ludum Dare game jams (No bragging intended.) When people started finding out about it, not one of them reacted negatively. They were amazed by it (because they didn't understand how its done) and thought it was cool. Sure, if I let the entire school find out there would be a group of people calling me a nerd and whatnot, but many more would be fascinated and impressed, like the group that already knows.
When I clicked on this I thought to myself, "Please don't just say 'One day they're going to be working for you'". This is a much better and more thoughtful answer.
This reminds me of middle school: there was a girl who use to pick on me all the time-- she was just awful to me and I never knew the reason why. Well, on Valentine's Day, I brought my entire class a little bag of candy and I think a little card-- I even had one for her because, despite the way she treated me, it was never in my nature to exclude anyone. I'll never forget the look on her face when I handed her the candy, or even what happened afterward: she just looked at me as if she couldn't understand why I did that or why I was being so thoughtful to her- I guess it made her see that I really wasn't a bad person. ::shrugs:: I really don't know, but she just looked stunned and then she thanked me. I said, "You're welcome. " Not too long after that, she walks up to me and a friend sitting by ourselves on the bleachers and asks if she could join us, and I said "Sure!" We became friends from then on, and she never picked on me again. To this day, it's still my proudest moment, and I'm 32 years old now. 😢😊 I really do love how thoughtful Wil was with this question, and how it seemed to help so many! Thank you, Wil! ❤
Not all bullies bully because they are lonely, etc. But sometimes they see something in the one they bully and can't let it go. There's a connection that they can't shake, and sometimes it turns out it turns into a friendship. It's interesting when that happen. Glad you made a friend rather than the continual torment of an enemy.
Always thought ***** was pretty cool, but this response elevated him to "amazing" status. What a brilliant, insightful, special sentiment. Very special.
I didn’t know too much about Will but I absolutely adore this response. He put so much love into this life lesson for this little girl who was hurting. Beautiful man.
Yeah Will Wheaton sums it up perfectly. I found later in life that the same bullies that give you shit like that generally don't like themeselves and the sad thing is they can't change as easy as other people, so they genuinely deserve pity, -if you can look past them making you feel bad when you were small and vunerable
they don't deserve pity. they hurt, so it's an excuse to bully others? screw that. you don't hurt others because you hurt. if you do, than you are worse than what hurts you, because you know the pain, you know better...
They just deserve being ignored. Pity is like trust, you gotta earn it. I'll have pity for someone who would try and try again and keep trying. I don't have pity for bulliers. I just ignore them.
@@tomjoad1363 I'll try to explain why pitying someone who doesn't deserve it works, but let me first admit that this explanation isn't politically correct nor necessarily healthy. It's a somewhat brittle approach that can backfire in the long run, but it can also stimulate personal growth. Pitying bullies builds on principles of arrogance and superiority. The principle is that a person that bullies is worse than yourself because of the act of bullying, and the act of pitying them actually reinforces that they are indeed inferior and will need to grow to reach our own level of empathy. We support our ego on a pillar of arrogance, which means that we have to also prove that we are a better person, which ideally leads us to strive for excellence. But - at the same time pity calls for an attempt to understand those less fortunate than ourselves and helping them. That in turn feeds back into a loop, where we can be humble and by being humble paradoxically prove our superiority. In the end it is a working defense mechanism to ensure our ego isn't crushed when someone is bullying us. But it's brittle, because if at some point we can't live up to our own self-image of superiority that this defense engenders, it can really crush our ego. Thus, your answer of ignoring bullies rather than pitying them may be a more stable solution. If you think the emotional defense described above may lead to someone becoming a lesser person than they could otherwise have been, you're probably right. However, being bullied hurts and some kind of emotional defense is necessary. It is a way better defense mechanism than becoming a bully yourself and passing on the hurt.
@@dreamsofcosmicoceans8105 oddly enough, i dont change. But also i am a very strong Empath. Not the kind that cries in movies, though i do. I am the kind that LITERALLY "feels" the emotions of the people around me. Like "Councelor Troi" but with out telepathy. I can sometimes "feel" a persons intent, which has actually saved my life on more than one ocassion. I can ALWAYS tell when i am being lied to. That does not mean that i know the specific lie in the conversation, only that there IS a lie in it somewhere. I can also physicslly feel touches and impacts if i visibly see them. That may be caused by something called "Mirror Touch Synesthesia". I am constantly bombarded by others physical and mental sensations. I cant read minds, but i am darned close to it sometimes. I dont change because i cant. I am constantly trying sort out what is mine, and what is others. It keeps me at a very stable base because of the constant self evaluation. I can learn and grow, but thats not the same thing.
@@dreamsofcosmicoceans8105 thats the point, i DO understand. But being in pain does not justify doing the very thing to others, that was done to them. They KNOW BETTER, and still do it anyways. That makes them even worse than those who hurt them. Being an Empath means that you feel others. It does not mean that you have to feel sorry for them when they hurt others.
I'm really, really happy you went up and asked that question. A bunch of people have really needed to hear and be helped by Wil's answer. You being brave enough to ask it made that happen. Thanks
I wasn't expecting to buy a one way ticket to tear town on the feel train, but here I am. God dammit, this is awesome. I wish I had someone or something to tell me this when I was growing up.
Why make it easy for yourself? The important thing is you survived, and you need to find some pride in that. Because you now know certain things that you can only learn through experience.
riddle2625 News flash: real full-grown men have feelings… lots of them. The irony that is you who needs to "man the fuck up" makes me laugh so hard. xD
riddle2625 Easy there flesh bag, telling people they can turn off the chemicals in their brain with a switch. Attitude like that is going to get you run over by your ex-wife when your forty five, if any woman can stomach you.
What a great answer and so loving and kind. What a great person and friend he must be. To have been in Hollywood for this long and to have seen the things he has seen and probably been through with the pressure to be what others around you want you to be to sell yourself, he has come out to be a wonderful man. Great to see this young man from his days on Star Trek the Next Generation grow into such a kind young man. Love it Will.
Well done Wil! I was called a nerd and geek (and "the brain") my whole life. I was teased for it in elementary school. Now that computers have become mainstream being called a Nerd or Geek is a badge of honour. And, much like you Wil, I married the woman of my dreams. She proudly wears a t-shirt that says "I Heart my Geek" (Heart being the picture of a heart not the word - and I wear "I Heart my redhead!") I am definitely a Wheatonite!
... and it'd be hilarious to us nerds, listening to the apes trying to string words of two syllables or less into semi-intelligible sentences, hoping the effort doesn't give them a headache.
If there's one thing that I can tell those who are still in school, it's that you shouldn't be afraid to be yourself and venture on a lifelong journey into the things that YOU like just because other people pick on you. It's important to be happy because not only do you feel better about yourself, you also do better in life. You'll get better grades and you'll perform better in speeches and theatrical plays.
Even though it’s still hurtful to be teased and excluded on any level, nerd culture has become so much more mainstream over the past few decades. For 80’s kids being labeled a nerd was basically the worst thing ever. As an adult nerd now its so heartening to live in this golden age. Kids will find something else to be shifty about, no doubt. Don’t ever let someone put you down for the things you love.
“Let me give you some counsel, bastard. Never forget what you are, for surely the world will not. Make it your strenght. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you." - Tyrion Lannister Rephrase: Let me give you some counsel, NERD. Never be ashamed of what you are. Make it your strength. Then it can never be your weakness. Armor yourself in it, and it will never be used to hurt you.
That was GREAT!! Bravo Will for that thoughtful and compassionate answer and Brava young lady for asking a question that so, so many other people can identify with!!
First. Will, you're a beautiful person. Second, everyone who bullied me in school is now either working shitty jobs, in jail or dead. A few made it. I'm married to the love of my life, I have three great kids, a two car garage, I've never been unemployed and have a ton of friends who understand me. Its not who can hit the hardest, little one. Its who can get back up and succeed anyway. Bullies suck because they play the short game. Play the long game. KNOW you're worthy, and good things will come by your own hand. I was picked on for being a nerd. Now im a published author of a D&D product (Out of the Box Encounters). Who's laughing now?
Not only "it gets better as you get older," the older you get ... the better it gets. I hated my life in my 30's (even though I had it pretty good; life is always tough). I turn 70 this year and my life has never been better. I am so glad I stuck it out.
This was such a great response! I'm so happy the girl was brave enough to ask that question and I hope she's a proud and unashamed geek nowadays! People will always be jealous if you are passionate about something. I really liked how Will made this such a good response for a child. One thing I'd like to add/ enphasize is that as you leave school and get older, you choose the people you want to hang out with and being different will be something that's appreciated - talking from my own experience!
The whole answer was beautiful and perfect, but I want to say I like one particular thing he says that probably too many people DON'T say when trying to give advice on this subject: "Don't apologize for liking the things that you like."
transcribed this video for a deaf friend of mine: Child: When you were a kid, were you called a 'nerd' and, if so, how did you deal with it? Will Wheaton: When I was a little boy I was called a nerd all the time because I didn't like sports, I loved to read, I liked Math & Science, I thought school was really cool...and, um...it hurt, a lot because it's never okay when a person makes fun of you for something, like, you didn't choose. You know, we don't choose to be nerds. We can't help it that we like these things and we shouldn't apologize for liking these things (audience applauds). I wish I could tell you there's a really easy way to just...not care, but the truth is, it hurts…but here's the thing that you might be able to understand...as a matter of fact, I'm confident you'll be able to understand, because you asked this question: when a person makes fun of you, when a person's cruel to you, it has nothing to do with you. It's not about what you said, it's not about what you did, it's not about what you love...it's about them feeling bad about themselves. They feel sad. They don't get positive attention from their parents. They don't feel smart as you. They don't understand the things that you understand. Maybe one of their parents is really pushing them to be a cheerleader or a baseball player or an engineer or something that they just don't want to do...so they take that out on you, because they can't go and be mean to the person that's actually hurting them. So, when a person's cruel to you like that, I know that it's hard, but honestly, the kind and best reaction is to--to pity them...and don't let them make you feel bad because you love a thing. Maybe find out what they love, and talk about it...how they love it. I bet you'll find out that a person who loves...tetherball loves tetherball exactly the way that you love Dr. Who...but you just love different things. And I will tell you this: it absolutely gets better as you get older (audience applauds)…and (pauses as audience wildly applauds) I know it's really hard when you're in school and you're surrounded by the same 400 people a day that pick on you and make you feel bad about yourself...but there's 50,000 people here this weekend who went through the exact same thing...and we're all doing really well (audience hoots, laughs, cheers). Don't you ever let a person make you feel bad because you love something they decided is only for nerds. If you're loving it, then it's for you. Thanks for your question.
Told from a place of deep understanding and life experience. Wil's character was often used as a deus ex machina in the show...the wunderkind who had all the answers that saved everyone. In real life, in this moment, Wil the man had the perfect answer, and he may have just saved that little girl from years of self-doubt and frankly years more of therapy. Bravo Wil. Bravo.
Will is a boss and every time I've ever seen him, he is a tremendous person for sure, and the courage to stand up and ask this question in a room full of eyes gazing upon you is inspiring.
I was called many other things as a kid. I have a learning disability that I didn't understand, nor did many others. I was teased in many different ways by a lot of people. It would have been nice to hear something like this when I was a kid, but because I was different, I thought that I needed to change, but changing myself made me like myself less. After my divorce, I learned to embrace who I am and I love myself now. I'm in my 50's now. I applaud Wil Wheaton for this wonderful insight and for taking the time to explain it to someone who desperately needed to hear it!
This is fantastic. I remember being made fun of when I was a kid. Honestly, I stood up to them and won most of them as friends because I wasn't afraid of them. THIS response from Wil Wheaton is just marvelous.
"were you ever called a nerd in school, and if so, how do WE deal with it". Sounds an awful lot like she was referring to herself/friends/people there in general. So no I'd have to disagree with you.
Truer words never spoken. Although I must say I find it kind of odd that "nerd" is still a go-to insult for bullies in this day and age, considering how heavily nerd culture is celebrated. The mainstream media doesn't mock us nearly as badly as they did from the '50s all the way up till the '90s, so I just feel it's a little funny that someone can be called a nerd these days and NOT generate a response of "Why, thank you! :D"
I'm in high school and I almost never hear the word "nerd" any more. Honestly all of the bullying I see is girls talking trash about each other over guys. The guys at my school get along really well :)
Most of my son's childhood friends went in to sports, while my son loves school. My son is now laughed at because he is a "nerd" ... gets good grades and hangs out with a different crowd. I am very proud of the young man he has become. Much nicer than the bullies.
I'd say proper use of the word nerd in a sentence is apparently passed down through generations of bullies to have stayed in the venaculer this long lol
