Woman Helps Lover Escape Prison Then Reinvents Herself as a Luminary | Toby Dorr Case Analysis 

Aw. Wow.

Awwww( bow Wow).

​@@mmersino7363About the "knuckle" comment above. Remind me not to go to prison. I wouldn't like the company.😢😢😢

❤

Running game.

Like those 2prisoners in NY [Dannemora] who manipulated married guard lady AND that Alabama lady guard helped felon escape then shot herself when cops gave chase later on.

She was a fool.

I was thinking the same thing

Anatomy of a setup in action.

Do you think he should have let her?

Why are they treating her like a killer?

​@@johnrelford7961they are treating her like a leper, not a killer. Imagine: your mother abandoned you, your brother, and your dad for a killer because she was bored in her marriage. She went so far as to break a killer out of prison and run away with him. She doesn't love you, if she did, she wouldn't have abandoned you, and committed one of the most supreme acts of treachery out of boredom. Why would you want her in your life at all?

@@Kivlor I think I could forgive her because I'm not the type of person to be bitter forever

She was attracted to him BECAUSE he was a convict, not because she “settled” with someone sub-par with a plan for “transformation”.

A genuine human connection is more valuable than material loss. It seems Grande and most others in this chat cannot wrap their heads around the possibility that true love transcends such silly boundaries...perhaps because their measured "reasonable" lives make such love an impossibility, they like putting people in boxes, and they need to try and fill the empty hole in their hearts through voyeuristic fascination over what those having something theyre missing while smarmily deluding themselves that theyre better off playing it safe. Capitalism has successfully turned a lot of weak minded people into commodified zombies...but not all of us and not the best of us. At least these two tried something fun...a victimless crime...and probably lived more life in two days than you or I will in our entire lives. If anything, theyre just be punished officially and socially for holding a candle up to and embarrassing the enslavement/social caste system that our prisons artificially produce. I applaud them both for getting free of that even if but for a few days physically.

@@zackbarkley7593what about the connections she had with her sons? Or siblings? As I said, fantasy is powerful. One of the most potent versions is ‘ideal love’

@@zackbarkley7593 Let's get real, behind all the BS you just vomited you are a bad person making excuses for 2 other bad persons. True passion would be working hard to make her husband and sons happy.

@@zackbarkley7593 married people ask for divorce. and then do the romance, people who are on the drug of love, brake rules and hurt family around them.

@@zackbarkley7593agree

I spent several years doing contracted education programs in prisons and a short time on staff. I witnessed many female custodial staff, psychologists, and educators, gooey eyed over male prisoners. I found that affairs between female staff and male prisoners are quite common. Prisoners showed me their boxes of fan mail which they receive from women on the outside, and on visiting days women would que like groupies to visit male prisoners. I now believe that females should not be permitted to work in male prisons.

I guess women can't be responsible for their actions

“Arrested?” 😏

Wow that’s crazy

🤣😂

Had to read through a lot of 🥱comments to find this. 👍

Hahaahhhaha

So true!

😂😂😂

🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣😂

The ”nice life” probably wasn’t a life at all. I think it’s admirable when people take risks to change their lives around. Her impulse was correct, even though she should have chosen a better way than committing crimes.

Then pick up skydiving. This wasn't irrational. This was selfish. Irrational is spending all your money in casinos. What she did was just plain dumb. Living out a fantasy that was born out of love for herself over everyone else, including her children.

She was love bombed by an inmate and thought she was in love. She was infatuated. With only one relationship since high school, it got boring. That's typical, you work it out like adults. She should have just dyed her hair and bought a convertible. A nice red one.....😊

DR Grande is Queenie for Donald, he would like to be Trump's Sissy 🌈

Debbie, that is caucasian privileged maxxed . after helping someone escape, being on the run , high speed car chase and the police did not harm her.

@@PHlopheplease 🙄 affirmative action wasn’t enough for you people? Yall are literally a protected and propped up class but yet you aren’t privileged? How can you be a victim and have all the advantages of a nanny state at the same time?

👍🤣🤣🤣

@tripledair How perfectly Dr Grande-ish... 🙈🙊🙉

@@cricketpie lol yup

I see what you did there and like it!🚪🚪🚪

Hahahahahahah 😂

Everyone has a weakness. Even if we don’t know them. Inmates are so good at finding them and exploiting them.

Very smart decision! Not many people know themselves as well as you do.

I admire that you know your limits and possible weakness. Most people don't realize it until it's too late.

It really speaks to women wanting a piece of shit instead of a good guy lol. Shit makes zero sense but ok haha.

​@@Cbd_7ohmIt does make sense.

I think chemo causes that too. Maybe it the drugs that did it and not the cancer.

Come on man! You know women without cancer make stupid decisions in romance all the time. Don't blame the cancer or the chemo

More likely the toxic treatments did that to her.

This is why daughters need fathers.

My sister got involved with a prisoner while in a dental hygienist program. She never told our dad! Thankfully he lost interest as soon as he got out.

I find people who are obsessed with adopting dogs often need that unconditional loyalty a dog gives you. Bc they’re too stupid to know better.

She clearly loved her husband at some point, they were married for 28 years! She's married again. I don't think many more relationships are in the cards for her. Maybe, after being married for so long, to a guy she met at 15 years old was a bit predictive, and boring. A lot of marriages that long, will struggle with this. You work on it, if you still love each other. Toby never did anything wrong in her entire life, was a good mom and wife. This prison guy probably love bombed someone who doesn't even know what the word means. She fell for it, and like a teenager, was head over heels in love, or so she thought. I'd argue she was infatuated, not in love. Dreamy, head in the clouds, love, like any teenager. Except she was a grown woman with responsibilities. She got in over her head and ruined her relationships with her kids and sisters. I think it was exciting, and something she never experienced before, to be in lust, really. I hope she learned her lesson and does well with her new husband. She was temporarily insane.

​@@HeatherHolt What? Dogs are not stupid. And it's not because they're "stupid" that they generally have this unconditional loyalty. This loyalty to the pack can be seen in wolves. Social bonds are paramount in the canine world. Just as humans need groups to survive and thrive, dogs need their groups, their packs. Humans displaced their natural dog leaders, and humans reinforced these traits through selective breeding. Dogs like huskies, dogs that must work and live in groups, are extremely sociable and form very strong bonds. Pulling a dog sled requires all the dogs ro work in unison. They must be able to work together and kind of "group think" and act together, and have extreme loyalty to each other and their human leader. So you can see the selective forces that act upon the breeding of successful huskies.

You should expand your horizons. 😉

When you think you're a missionary and will change things.

@@pipermccoolyou are desperate . That’s not expanding your horizon. That’s actually being a sad desperate woman. As a lawyer you are very sad and desperate . You can’t find anyone to date outside so you want to find someone who can’t go anywhere lol sad

@@AkkisiandraDayton The sarcasm of piper's comment is lost on you.

The Ikea effect. That's how some women get stuck with bad boys.

I think 15 year in prison would be appropriate for her crime.

It was a surprisingly lenient sentence for the lady, and a too harsh one for the inmate IMO.

Yeah. 🙂

Also your rainbow shirts and curious cacti and puppies we only seem to see in commercials and a nice wife!

@@bthomson I agree!

Dr Grande clearly articulated reasoning: pursuing a purpose and seeking excitement.

I was surprised at the sentence but remember, she was this nearly 50 yr old, extremely respectable type of mother and wife, pillar of the community type. No record, not even parking tickets most likely. No previous affairs. Very stable life. Very respectable and she probably comes across in person as very sweet, kind, helpful mother type. Realistically, she doesn't pose much of a risk to the community and U.S. prisons no doubt struggle with the burdens of too many inmates, and it costs the community money to house inmates.

The guy did not take a life, that law is stupid. Like if you're with an uncomfortable group, just tagging along, they go totally out of bounds and you share full responsibility.. Or if someone just loses it who was normal before. How'd you know?

Speaking of sharks, don't watch the Egypt incident. The better part of me wishes I'd never seen it.

I share your concern about the shark documentary 👍

the extra ten years would have been bearable if only John had been able to watch the sharks for even thirty minutes!

Ha ha It makes me think, they didn’t think much about the other side once they got him out. So what do we do now

I understand that she hurt their father, but if you turn your back on the woman that gave birth to you, and then raised you, then maybe you deserve to die of cancer.

A wife and mother left her family to run away with a murderer whom she broke out of jail... _That_ is heartbreaking.

​@@just-a-fella3212I totally agree what she did was more heartbreaking.

It's fine for me. Maybe it's something in your settings? xx

@@bunnymad5049 Yes this is possible. 🙀

Actually I thought this time it was lower volume than normal

@@philiprandall473 Huh. Odd. Although, I'm not well at present and have a throat and ear infection, so my volume is up more than normal. Maybe that's why I'm not detecting it.

Susanne, i guess he caught you off guard. Good looks make people look nicer than they are.

I know, I was thinking the same thing. Your children should come first, no matter what. I was never able to have children, & it really gets to me when your selfish wants & needs come before your own children. She wrecked her whole family by her actions.

@@sylviaross5722it always breaks my heart when someone can’t have kids and wanted them, when so many people have kids and don’t want or love them. I recently had a kid at 36 after being told my whole adult life I’d never have kids by multiple drs and then magically it happened. And I can’t ever ever ever imagine not always putting my daughter first. Above myself above her father, she is my world and I would never put anyone especially some man, some inmate, a helper in a murder!, above her. That lady’s a true narcissist. You sound like you would have been a good parent ❤

​@@HeatherHoltYes. It's obvious she would have raised some good kids!

Obviously you don’t understand the natural attraction between males and females. When married couples hit a patch in their relationship, and they begin to spend a significant amount of time in the company of the opposite sex, especially if they spend time closely, these things happen. The fault falls on poor communication and ignorance.

Ummm can we talk about how these criminals are really good manipulators and can really spot a vulnerable person and convince them to do shit they would never do

I chuckled.That was harsh, but enjoyably harsh.

It’s probably case by case whether people going through this pattern have really evolved or not. People can and do transform, grow, change, have epiphanies, gain wisdom and then help others to not make the same stupid mistakes they made. Toby was already trying previously to help others with her dog program, she wasn’t someone you can reduce to just being a narcissist. She had a compassionate side but went about getting her needs met in stupid immature ways. I don’t know for sure but maybe her criminal acts and the pain that brought helped her to grow up and maybe she really did help women after that. Is she helping others just for her ego’s sake? I don’t know but I doubt it.

​@@amirahaidary4187Hi, thanks for your comment. I think one can look at Tobys story with "a soft look" or "a hard look". I prefer the first. Take care, Corinna

It does work. Just today I regrettably stumbled upon a Quora post written by a guy boasting about his life after 27 years in prison. The comments thread made me sick, there were a few thousand upvotes and countless comments about him being a "role model", "hero", "inspiration", etc. It was unbelievable. I was one of the only few people to leave comments that fell in the "WTF is going on here" camp.

Lmao. Nice. Yes it's absolutely another form of their narcissism.

Huh? All women who are in prison have made bad decisions. It’s called human agency, and when you choose to screw-up in life, it’s no one’s fault but your own.

Evil women making excuses for other evil women, purely disgusting. I'm glad that poor boy didn't forgive the witch.

My point was not to suggest diminished culpability. My point was that hopefully she gained insight and helped share it with others. Inmates have successfully counseled other inmates.

Hopefully the guy had some mad skills. 😏

And lost her kids

I disagree. I think her sentence is appropriate given the fact that she didn't hurt someone and that she does not represent a danger to society.

She was a danger to society when she released a murderer from prison. And now since she's still in close contact with prisoners there's no telling when she'll do it again.

@@holocene2164 that inmate she helped escape could have murdered her. That same inmate could have gone on a crime spree... the possibilities are infinite what could have happened due to this woman's actions

@@RepresentWV her actions and this court ruling has set precedent that anyone can help inmates escape from prison and when they're finally captured by police. The court will give them a "slap on the wrist" 26 month sentence.

I think she put herself first in all of this. No consideration for others, just personal gratification.

Seems to me, she placed herself first and her inmate second. Her husband and children crossed her finish line of importance long after she did. She paid for it by losing the most important relationships a person can have.

She placed herself first, the prisoner second, and her family third

You sound like you have some narcissistic traits to overcome. Placing oneself first is usually the problem, not the solution.

*forsook

Fellas, if you’re ever in a jam, just find a gullible woman. It works a charm.

@@messrsandersonco5985 thank you

In April I adopted a German Shepherd/ Malamute dog from Prison Paws Partnership. It’s at Pelican Bay State Prison. So at least some places still have that program

@@dixiedawnmillergoode6850 I love both GSDs and Malamutes! Your pup must be beautiful and extremely lucky to have you. If I were to get to adopt a pup or a kitty, Id be very grateful to the person who raised them, even if they were an inmate in prison. Thank you for telling me great little news. ☺️❤️

​@@dixiedawnmillergoode6850Yikes! Pelican Bay is one of the most violent prisons out there. I'm surprised they would have the dog training program there ...

@@wolfe6220 they have done seven rounds I think, with about six dogs in each round. It’s a teamwork program with the local animal shelter.

Maybe priceLESS!

I know I was in a hurry. Lol

Life is hard - not worth mentioning unless to excuse her devious actions

People have affairs evert day. She should have found somebody on the outside. A divorce, her family would understand, eventually. A killer inmate on the downlow? Not so much. 😮

Yep. She gets bored easily and tosses humans away like trash.