It only says his offering was born of the soil in the actual text. That bastard Cain probably tried to grill FRUIT, which is why God sensibly favored Abel's sacrifice.
Really important thing to keep in mind here is that Abel wasn't just the first person to be murdered, he was the first person to DIE. Cain had NO IDEA what was about to happen.
My favorite version of this is in SMT Devil Survivor where (spoilers) The reincarnation of Cain talks to you, the reincarnation of Abel, about how it was bullshit that God wanted blood for a sacrifice even though he knew for a fact that Cain was a farmer and couldn't get blood from crops.
Sorry but that’s some BS right there. The real story is that Cain only gave a crop because he was lazy and thought himself too good to go through the trouble of sacrificing something as valuable as a sheep
I remember as a kid I always thought the meme of kids hating vegetables was weird, because I loved vegetables. Broccoli? Fuck yeah. Sprouts? Pile em on. Peas? I used to eat them raw by the bag. Only thing I actively refused to eat (and still do to this day) were mushrooms. Fuck mushrooms.
Yes it is the story. As explained by the villain who insists that he never did anything wrong and was put upon the whole time and it's everyone else's fault besides mine.
@@lilwyvern4 You know goddamn well that denying wrongdoing at all costs is as fundamental a human attribute as breathing. I watch shit ton of anime. Believe me America does not have the market cornered on denying wrong doing.
@@RenegadeSparks In fairness, you, OP and Woolie are wrong. The problem was that Cain specifically decided to not to give up his best produce, while Abel did. God literally explained to Cain this is why Abel got a better blessing. Cain doesnt understand, gets buttmad and murders his brother. Thats the story.
Old Testament God raises a LOT of questions that cant really be handwaved with 'mysterious ways dude'. Like, why does he even need to eat? Abel sacrifices the LIVES of the goats, God doesn't devour their flesh, he's beyond food, he's omnipotent for Christ's sake. The goat doesn't have a soul, and even if it did itd just be ascending to heaven and pop right up beside god. So he's just eating the... symbolic value of the goats? Or like the spilt lifeblood of the goats? What did he want Cain to do, buy a goat from Abel and THEN sacrifice it? What is the point of this lesson? Was this even a test at all? Its like Lil Johnny Bible-writer just wrote this part in to spite his mom for making him eat vegetables, but even that doesn't make sense because whoever wrote the bible would be hyped for vegetables because famine was rampant and soda didnt exist to ruin their palettes. Cain and Abel really is the dumbest part of the bible. It has no lesson, the premise makes no sense and it doesn't inspire either fear or awe of God
The demand made by God- repeated throughout the Old Testament- is that sacrifice shouldn't just be culling your herd, or even making an adequate offering. You have to give the best thing you've got. Did Cain really not sacrifice his best vegetables? Did Cain murder his brother because he was the best thing Cain had? Did Cain get punished (with superpowers???) not for kinslaying, but having the -AUDACITY- to lie to God? Is the Bible trying to say "You don't make friends with salad!" as an ancient rebuttal to "Simpsons did it?" The vagaries of the universe are an enigma.
@@trevalyan006 Yo "did Cain murder his brother because he was the best thing Cain had?" ....YOOOOO. I never even thought of that! Oh man, that makes god super bad guy! Or a screw-up, but he's supposed to be omnipotent, unless that was a lie and god totally hates the church for that.
On the sacrifice thing, it's interesting that it makes a lot more sense when you replace God with Khorne "Blood for the Blood God, Khorne cares not where the blood flows as long as it flows" And Cain gives him that premium fratricide blood, so Khorne goes "Sick, here's a power litterally based around blood-thirst and blood-spilling"
A lot of Bible literalists I know say Cain should've known and that when God killed an animal to clothes Adam and Eve that was an example. But if you're going to take the Bible literally and not assume anything, there is no passage that explains God told Cain and family what was an acceptable sacrifice. So I feel bad for Cain before he killed Abel- like that guy who died when he touched the Ark of the Covenant to try to keep it from falling when the oxen tripped.
He also makes no attempt to explain his moral system to people before flooding the world, and yet when he says to take 7 of every "clean" animal, Noah's response isn't "what the fuck is a clean animal, you won't tell us about that for several chapters". The Biblical writers had a bad case of presentism.
I was praying that this would be animated as soon as the conversation started on the podcast. I love even more that you put in the part where Pat didn't even know what was going on in the beginning
I want the podcast to have a weekly Woolie vs God section, where Woolie teaches the clueless Pat (and the clueless audience) about the crazy stuff he learned from Sunday school.
I read a manga the other day where the opening animation of Woolie and God going in for Super punches literally happened with Adam the first human and Zeus of Olympus. Shit was hype!
I really love how Jordan decides when someone needs full mouth animation and when they can just toss a still shot in there and the viewer knows what's going on.
They did a similar joke in the manga "Saint Young Men." Jesus and Buddha are heading off to a barbeque with their Yakuza friend, and Jesus worries about veggies being at the barbeque, because his dad really loves meat, and the last time God went to a barbeque with veggies on the grill, it lead to Cain murdering Abel with the rock. There was also a bit later on where Abel tried to prove that Cain didn't actually murder him. The trial ended with Cain trying to murder Abel a second time, with the very same rock as before, which had been brought by Abel in as a form of evidence meant to prove Cain's innocence.
"Cain, you killed your brother, so now I will curse you to wander the earth and never die. Also, here's some superpowers." -God "Punishing" Cain in the VTM universe
In the old testament yes. But in the new testament it was reversed because back then royals thought meat was for the rich and powerful and vegies were for the peasants.
vampires exist because god dont want tomat on his burger. i can respect a man who keeps his burger grass free, but thats a bit of a nuclear option dont you think?
What I particularly love about these shorts is how it seems like a TV Show. Woolie is the host and Pat is like that child side character who's their assistant.
Woolie, the grilled vegetables weren't the problem. It only says his offering was born of the soil. That bastard Cain probably tried to grill FRUIT, which is why God sensibly favored Abel's sacrifice.
"In the Bible the two brothers made offerings to God. Abel offered the Lord some lamb chops. Cain gave him some Weetabix or some shit. Naturally, God liked Abel's offer a lot more. So Cain dis-Abel'd his brother by murdering him with a fucking rock." -SsethTzeentach
Fake news abel brough a bunch of dead baby sheep and fat Cain just brought veggies. The Hebrew God only accepts flesh sacrifices has nothing to do with the quality of the fruit.
@@Yal_Rathol v. 4: "Abel also brought an offering-fat portions from some of the firstborn of his flock," implying Cain did not. v. 7: "If you do what is right, will you not be accepted?" implies Cain did not do what was right.
@@ChristianStout cain was a farmer. it's hard to bring the fat firstborn of a carrot. and what cain did wrong is fail to offer meat, because god only accepts burned meat as his offering, something he failed to tell cain and abel beforehand, you may notice.
It's kind of ironic that the person that brought the veggies got so angry and lustful for vengeance that he became a huge murderer and the father of all vampires.
Super delayed, but IIRC there are actually three theories about why the veggies were rejected: 1) Jewish customs at the time equated blood with sacrifice. Abel's offering was seen as superior because the blood of the lamb had heavier weight than veggies. 2) Abel's sacrifice is mentioned as being "first-born" and "fatted," while nothing is said of Cain's sacrifice, so it's possible Cain did really bad at taking care of his crops. 3) After the sacrifice, God talks to Cain asking why he's angry over what happened and basically implying that if Cain was truly trying to seek favor with God, it would have been accepted.
I honestly love Bible Story time with Woolie. It's always curious as to what he remembers and what he forgets. Everything I've heard about 7th Day Adventists from him and other sources always blows me away and explains a lot about his indignation and pettiness.
The idea that this whole thing about god wanting meat being the reason we got vampires, and thus how we got vampires the masquerade, is making me think of god dancing to Isolated
