The way I understood it: 1. Don't do the task for sake of the reward. 2. If the work is stressful or getting mundane, find a way to make it enjoyable. 3. Don't lock yourself in a time frame. Do the task until you're done or satisfied. 4. Check your feelings. How motivated you are. Don't force yourself if it really feels dreadful.
Bringing us back to doing what we love to do (if we can support ourselves with that activity.) Otherwise, we need to find a way to see the bigger picture and reframe the activity as important and contributing to greater good. A sense of making a difference is a huge motivator. On the contrary, if we allow ourselves to believe that what we do makes no difference, that's a fast track to quitting the job or feeling burned out. We should occasionally take time off to recalibrate and find a higher purpose or a bigger picture in what we do. Sometimes we have to do jobs that are available even if not ideal. Reframing is a skill that saves lives.
As a mom of three small children (7, 3, 1), the toxic motivation reward relationship only works with potty training (I’ve found). It is very short-lived, because they 1000% will only focus on the reward and get irritated by the task. They are much better at listening, engaging, and learning when the reward is removed. This is a very general and blanket look into our parenting, but that key component really stuck out to me.
I’m a mom also, and something that I learned recently on handling meal time, for example if my son wanted to eat desert, I would say, “we eat desert after our meal” instead of, “IF you eat your meal, then you can have desert.” I don’t treat it like a reward, just telling him the order. That he gets if either way, but that it comes after meal time not before. he is so much more open to finishing his meal and getting full off of that, that he may not want the treat or forgets it because he knows that it’s not this prized possession he can’t have. I feel like this can also create a healthy relationship with food as they get older. That they don’t have to “work hard” to eat that desert, that they can simply have it any time when they can make their own choices, and continue to fuel themselves with food that their body needs.
@@marpaula1047 that was my experience as well, I don't recall my parents rewarding me with food so I don't associate it with celebrations and also I don't use it as a way to cope with sadness and other emotions.
100% agree! Potty training also became our only “rewarded” task as a concession, as we realized a single m&m was going to do the trick better than persuading, nagging, or forcing 😅
@@marpaula1047 suddenly I understand a lot more about why I have such an unhealthy and starve/binge relationship with food. I remember vividly my grandmother not only using dessert as a reward to finish the meal but even if I didn't want to eat either I wasn't allowed to leave the table until I had eaten what I was told to eat. I don't know how it took me this long to put two and two together. Now I'm 27 years old and will go all day without eating then eat a bunch of junk food at night after I've been fed up with the hunger (no pun intended). I hope this helps me deconstruct that relationship and learn how to properly motivate myself to eat healthy.
I've found the same as a kindergarten teacher. The kids who are rewarded for getting things done or doing well will only do what they need to when they know they are getting a reward and the quality of the work is directly proportional to the desirability of the reward. The kids who get compliments and praise for doing well and are given regular breaks and play time regardless of performance consistently perform better in my experience.
I can recall a time when that 'Triangle of Health" was really working. Quit eating healthy, you start to lose motivation to work out because the poor diet is causing zero results, then the down fall of a bad diet and poor workouts results in poor mental health from poor self image. Take one of those 3 healthy things away, and it'll heavily affect the others.
Focusing with ADHD is some of the hardest things I've come to face. Being in an office space, the slightest bit of noise throws me off my game, and time seems to fly when you spend most of it trying to regain that focus
@@yohaizilber Imagine it's 8am and you leave work at 5pm, you have a set amount of tasks to complete during the day. You lose focus, you try regaining that focus, and during that time you're not focused on your task or time, or anything around you. Next thing you know it's suddenly 5pm and you had no clue. Time Blindness. Happens to me a lot.
@@JTPlayingTunes Even though I'm not diagnosed officialy with ADHD sounds like me, it is annoying as hell not being able to concentrate on the task you don't want to do.
I've never heard of the term time blindness before but wow that describes me perfectly. i have no sense of time whatsoever, i especially struggle with...eating(?) it's strange i know but if i didn't keep myself on track by watching the clock all the time, i would probably continue having lunch for more than 3 hours...it's so embarrassing, idk how i explain it to my family💀 same goes for other aspects of my life, sigh.
I really appreciate your videos. They are basically a full force, shame free guide on hacking ADHD as an adult and not feeling terrible for being neurodiverse.
I have no idea if I have adhd but I too relate to most of Elizabeth's content and they always seem to be perfectly, exactly what I need at that moment in life ❤️❤️
@@ClearBlueSky1 TYSM for responding! You know... I didn't know until my kindergartener was diagnosed and I realized that I ticked off all the boxes, too! 😅 It's pretty common for people raised as girls to not know they are neurodiverse until well into adulthood or midlife, and by then some people want a diagnosis and some don't. 🤷🏼 For me, learning about ADHD and how my brain works differently was an extremely empowering process that entirely changed my world and my relationships for the better. If I'm not mistaken, I believe Elizabeth is Irish, and interestingly, Irish culture takes a much more inclusive approach in accepting a diverse range of creative thinking, as Ireland is known for contributing a vast range of artists and creatives to the world. All that to say, ADHD isn't necessarily pathologized in the Irish diaspora like it is in America and the UK, and it definitely shows in creators like Elizabeth, How to GYST, and Blindboy Boatclub. If you like Elizabeth, I would definitely recommend giving the other two a listen! They have all shown me that it's okay to think differently and do things differently because everyone is unique and has their own approach to getting things done!
@@AngDevigne wow I never expected such an empathetic and detailed response 🥺🥺 so thank you so much !! I will definitely check them out. At the moment I'm very busy with some exams for college but after they are done I've been meaning to go to a therapist about this. Ive always felt Irish culture was super inclusive ❤️ , as well someday definitely want to go there in a holiday :) And I didn't know Elizabeth was part Irish , so makes sense all the more 🙌 Hope you have an amazing life ❤️
What I love the most about your videos is how refreshing they are. You don't repeat the same recycled motivation tips that all productivity RU-vidrs talk about. You take into account that we, as humans, can't always perform out of sheer willpower. Therefore the only thing we got left is work around our highs and lows. One can tell you are a very introspective person and even though it may sometimes feel like a curse, it makes you produce these gems. Never change ❤
Rewarding oneself for tasks could be likened with a very conditional self-love. Humans grow and thrive when treated with unconditional positive regard/unconditional love. The whole point is that we do NOT need to prove ourselves worthy of love by having to "do" things. We just are worthy. Surely this should be the same for self-love: we will thrive and have more motivation if we give ourselves unconditional love rather than being our own taskmasters. We don't have to "earn" or "deserve" treating ourselves kindly.
"We will thrive and have more motivation if we give ourselves unconditional love rather than being our own taskmasters. We don't have to "earn" or "deserve" treating ourselves kindly." Sounds good in theory, but its really rare that a person can keep this up in practise. Because most people will just fool themselves by reinterpreting "I worked really hard today. Im gonna reward myself with some chocolate" into "I love myself, thats why i can eat however much chocolate i like". While true to a degree, a mindset which centers around "everything you need in life is the love you give yourself" is utterly unrealistic. You are a human. You're born to seek validation and rewards. Trying to surpress your nature will probably lead to just greater suffering long-term. I think Elizabeths point basically revolves around "focus on the journey, not the destination" (which i agree with). In fact, most recent studies on dopamine show that the release of dopamine is not as linked to reward as we previously thought. The anticipation of reward triggers dopamine-release aswell.
@@darkforcekiller You misunderstood the point so what yoi say is actually true, just not int the same topiv. I will give you a long explenation as I have some time.
This is like a whole alternative productivity system for ppl with ADHD. I have applied some of your learning and productivity tools and it’s one of the few things that really really work for me. Even just the shift in mindset that I don’t have to be a prisoner of time and todo list is amazing. I actually focus better and longer and it is becoming intrinsically pleasurable to work. Thank you so much. 😢
I completely agree with you on that. Her entire way of thinking applies to my fried PTSD brain, with symptoms from ADHD to depression, and her advice has helped me work through times when I just felt stuck. Blessings
So true about using extra pay on ourselves. My spouse and I sometimes do freelance work on the side of our regular full time jobs - the regular jobs pay us enough that we don’t need the freelance to get by, so our rule to ourselves is that if we’re going to dedicate some of our free time to working, the money earned from it only goes to fun things like books, activities, meals out, or equipment for outdoorsy things!
I love the medieval time tracking idea. It solves two problems for me: a), when I got something done in less time than I estimated to, I have zero motivation to fill the rest of the time but feel bad when I don't, and b), when I have a lot of motivation but planned to only do a thing for an hour, I will stop after an hour because I "fulfilled my goal", wasting energy I could have used with no effort.
Your way of thinking amazes me and validates my doubts about popular ongoing advices floating around. Many of your attributes that you mention in your videos very often matches mine and your videos are really helping me and making me think
I feel the same way. The idea of the pomodoro technique always felt alien and uncomfortable to me and Elizabeth made me realize why that is with the "medieval time concept" bit. It was a good reminder to think about and realize what your learning goal for the day is before you get to it. Rather than planning to just to stuff for 2 hours.
I love how most of these are pushing on our peculiar ways of being instead of adhering to a conventional way to look at productivity. Makes it a lot more enjoyable (for me at least)
@@JanM457 that actually makes sense why i couldn't focus when I try the pomodoro technique... I'm not clear on what to do exactly, not focused and kinda anxious because the study session is limited so it feels more like cramming and NOT learning peacefully. Thanks for everything! And I thought I was the only one who felt so strange by that.. everyone else were saying it worked for them so that made me disappointed and I still am..
I'm pretty sure this is the "Prospecting" trait in the meyers briggs personality scale. I share it too. I'm pretty sure Elizabeth is an INFP, which I am as well.
Yes..that said I find attaching a clock time.. such as 25 min pomodoro has been good when there are mundane tasks. 'Well I've only got to do it for 20 mins or so' helps decrease overwhelm. Then it is potentially tru that getting g a bit of it done primes dopamine qnd motivation qndvi can do more The condition has to be that I actually CAN stop after the 25 mins
The pomodoro method is really useful for really long-haul projects like writing a dissertation or a novel, though. These are the kinds of projects where even the smallest meaningful "sub-task" (such as completing just one scene or one section of a chapter) can take days or weeks to accomplish and each task also has somewhat vague borders, and there isn't always a way to divide it into single meaningful activities that can be accomplished in a day or two. For example for just a short section of my dissertation I may need to do several hundreds of pages of reading (in the form of book chapters and articles, but sometimes also entire books). And these are generally really dense texts you can't just sit down read flowingly like you would a work of literature. And reading a single one or two of them, while still an accomplishment, won't mean anything much in terms of accomplishing the final goal (i.e. writing that section) because the research is only meaningful if you have knowledge of all the relevant sources to compare/analyze/cite them (and you also need to do the writing of course). And sometimes you discover the source you've been working isn't all that useful, or there is that other source that you somehow overlooked so far but is actually relevant and now you need to read that too. In short I sometimes just need to "trust the process" and be content with having put a certain number of hours of work towards the final goal each day. If I expect to accomplish something super concrete every time I sit down to work I will be overwhelmed, and often can't motivate myself to even start. I know this because I experienced it, and the pomodoro technique (and its variations) actually really helped me.
I like to think pomodoro is useful in 2 ways: 1) when you can't force yourself to start doing something. It becomes something more like "Ok, I'll just look at it for a bit" aaand 30 minutes passed :) 2) it's not about "I'm gonna do it in X minutes". It's more like "I'll take a break after X minutes and then start doing Y thing"
@@myartikool I will add a third one related to the second. Doing something large and mentally intensive like writing a dissertation, hunting down a bug in a large codebase, or anything like this can come with you trying to push past the limits of fatigue. So you spend hours reading and searching only to get up, take a shower, come back, and immediately find the problem or realize that suddenly you are able to make more progress on the project. Not everyone naturally stops when they get tired or even realizes they are tired. So forcing small breaks after some length of work and then coming back to the same task can be really useful in making more efficient progress even if in the moment it feels like a useless interruption. It's also good to vary the pompdoro time. I hear a lot of people complain about feeling robotic on the 25/5 schedule, but the work length and break length numbers can be varied for every task based on how the person feels, how long they estimate they can go before fatiguing, and how much of a break they will need to recover. I kind of like the animedoro variant where the guy sets a lower and upper limit for his work task before taking a break. I have added an upper and lower limit to the breaks as well so I can take a short or long break as I need to. What activities are pursued during breaks also matter. Taking a shower, going for a walk, eating, drinking, friendly socialization, meditation, etc. are a bit more rejuvenating than trying to set up another task, playing a game, or social media.
@@tiryaclearsong421 thank you for the comment. I personally know all of this (never did 25m - thats just too short for a lot of stuff). I just didn't want to spend too much time because of the language barrier (don't like using google fo this). One thing that I would add is contrast showers. It will be rough at first but it just feels so good afterwards.
i like hearing about what works for others! I will say though, for me (ADHD and somewhat time blind), #4 about the motivation trough is both good to acknowledge but bad advice for me personally. Sometimes (often!!) it's best if I push through the bad mood, because my emotionality and time blindness can make me spiral further into negative emotion. In the moment, it feels like the way I feel then is the way I've always felt and will always feel. Just wanted to say that in the comments so others who deal with time processing issues won't think they're failing if that one doesn't work for them.
This is the one advice from the video that didn't click with me too well either. If left to my own bearings during a slump and taking time out to try and process my emotions which are probably going to be irrational anyway I might just end up further digging myself inside said trough
Our emotions are far more negotiable than most realize. Many times it is as easy as "just do it" and before you know it the task is already done. The Navy Seal David Goggins used a technique he called "The Cookie Jar" in which he would remember instances in his life where he felt the most powerful and then trained himself to tap into that emotion at will in order to give himself a much-needed boost. Another common method is to create an alter ego to prime yourself with a desired emotional state. My personal favorite is asking myself a bunch of good questions that will inflate my interest levels. I like to think of my emotions as pieces on a chessboard that I can strategically manipulate to achieve desired results. When you realize that you can do this(and it's easier than you think!) the self-empowerment is second to none. Get your biology to work for you rather than against you!
@Chasm Wow, I never thought I would encounter another person who experienced emotions like this. I have to track my emotions with a calendar to remember that no, I have not always been miserable; these have just been two crappy weeks.
I didn't expect a self help video to actually involve real thinking and not just copy pasting from a book! You actually had helpful advice, thanks for the perspective!
Rewarding myself for a task also doesn’t work all the time but for different reason than you shared. A lot of times I’ll tell myself I can do something fun after I do what I /have/ to do but I severely underestimate how long it takes to get what I needed to, done. So at the end of it all I don’t even have time to do the reward without cutting into my sleep and sabotaging my next day.
@@qwertyasf RU-vidrs make content as their job. It is not a donation. They rely on money from Patreon and RU-vid comments such as this to be able to continue to make this content, so if there's a RU-vidr whose content you like and you can spare some money, you would pay them to make sure they continue to make this content you believe is worth your money. If nobody pays them, this becomes a waste of their time and money and we would lose out on some pretty decent stuff to watch.
@@caputmedusa4234 ad revenue, sponsorship, affiliate marketing even her very own ebook all make money. She is in the successful youtuber category though its not like she is starting up.
@@qwertyasf These things do not make as much as you think, and RU-vid take quite a chunk of RU-vidrs' money. For the majority of RU-vidrs, they're not enough to live on. Also having income separate from the algorithm and sponsors is good for the quality of their content, and again, you pay them money to encourage the type of content you want to see on RU-vid.
This video is exactly what I needed these last few weeks ! I realised that with the responsibilities of adulthood, I turned all the activities that I liked into "rewards for when I'm done with the rest" without even realising... 😅
For my own experience the pit of despair moments for me actually happen according to my monthly hormone changes. This became very apparent to me after we got together with my man and we started to see a pattern. Week 1 is normal, week 2 I become more sensitive for both happiness and sadness, during week 3 are the most extreme changes usually (I feel despair, angriness, irritability, depressed but also very happy alongside with full rollercoaster of emotions) and week 4 is the pain and trying to endure week without that many mood swings. So now when I know this, along side my daily and weekly scheduling, I have the days that I'm usually most active slotted to week 1 and 2. Week 3 and 4 I try to be more merciful to myself and not try too hard. That realization have actually accelerated my ability to learn more things and take care of mental and physical health better than ever before. Probably many don't have to try to dance around stuff like this but for some this might be helpful thing to consider :)
Thanks for expressing in words what I feel about pomodoro! I had to throw that technique away because it was so dreadful applied to real life tasks. I thought that I successfully used it while studying, but then I realized that I only liked seeing how far I could get in reading or reviewing before the buzzer went off and it was actually kinda terrible for learning brand new material or independently generating work deliverables.
I've found that the pomodoro technique is only useful for chores such as answering (short) emails, cleaning the house, washing dishes etc. especially if say, you feel overwhelmed to start a mountain of dishes, knowing you only have to wash them for a set amount of time before taking a break can really help.
Pomodoro is a huge benefit for your health. If you actively move during these 5 minutes breaks every 25 minutes you will feel way less exhausted at the end of the day and you are doing something good for your back and general well being. People always talk about how to use the study time more effectively while it's essentially the breaks that make or break a good study session. Which is why strictly planned breaks make a lot of sense since A: You either get way to focused and forget to take breaks or B: You take too many breaks since you can take them whenever you want to and just end up hanging on your phone again. I'm not a big fan of pomodoro in a sense of "in 25 minutes I have to finish this much" but rather "in 25 minutes I will work on this certain task with full concentration". From my experience routine is what keeps you energized in the long run, it keeps balance between doing too much and doing too little. I'm not a big fan of planning out your day minute by minute 4 weeks in advance, but to have rather strict times for waking up/going to bed, eating and studying. Because that also gives you the space to truly enjoy your free time.
@@thediesel1241 I don’t disagree with the usefulness in studying, however at some point in life one is not only studying and will need to create something or do some work in which one is not merely receiving information, but rather synthesizing knowledge and experiences to create some tangible output, and to ask this process to fit into clean 25 minutes blocks is not always feasible and can lead to frustration and distraction and unnecessary interruption of a valuable “flow” and/or “deep work” state.
Your videos have been really eye opening for me. I absolutely love completing tasks and that’s how I divide things up and think of them. The good feeling of getting a block of stuff done is what works for me - working a certain amount of time doesn’t. So interesting to hear someone say that.
this is such a convenient time for this video! i have been struggling with motivation lately because i want to study more, i love studying and i love the subject, but for some reason it's so hard for me to just pick it up and start, i have thought of giving me those rewards or restrictions to force myself to start but now I'm glad that i didn't, i don't see how it would really work now the real thing is that i thought i was anxious to start because i thought the task was just too big and i really need a lot more motivation to get something that big started, but realizing that even if you just do a little bit of it is fine has helped me so much! i feel so glad when i do even the smallest of (somewhat productive)activities during the day, so it helps me build motivation to get the bigger task started about medieval time thinking: before i started studying my parents used to tell me to study for an hour each day, but i realised that's often not enough or too much and it really depends on the activity, trying to force consistency just doesn't work at all for most things and just creates a bad expectation, which creates a bad experience, then kills your motivation and you suddenly don't like it as much
I have ADHD and I’ve been watching her videos obsessively and relating so hard and using some of the things she’s mentioned here has transformed my day-to-day pretty significantly. I do wonder if she also has ADHD and diagnosed for it. If not she does and is not diagnosed, Im sure she’ll take over the world with a little bit of adderall! 😂
I had a very bad psychological breakdown a few years after starting medication for ADHD. I don’t know if it’s a causal relationship, but it was close enough that I don’t use meds anymore. Instead, I work on structuring my life in such a way as to minimize the frustration of my particular brain and maximize the enjoyment of it (because ADHD can be very enjoyable).
I think that since her advice is focused on how humans function in general, ( paying attention to your human emotions while working, working around your state of being rather than a fixed and ridged schedule), it's probably both incredibly beneficial to people with both ND and NT type brains. (for reference, I myself also have ADHD and hence have a ND type brain, but I have known many NT throughout my life).
For perspective, I definitely do not have ADHD and I relate strongly to a lot of the things she talks about in her videos. Watch out for confirmation bias. :)
Medieval time tracking seems very fascinating and just so...human. Judging our work in terms of hours and minutes seems like it is suited for machines, which humans are very much not! Very interesting stuff!
Ok, I think it's great that you have become this aware of yourself so early in life. I'm 45 and have only recently come to much the same conclusions you have about self motivation. I still get caught up in the, "I need to be somewhere in 3 hours, so I need to get a lot of *my* work done in 2." and I end up stressing over, "how much time I have left, how much I haven't gotten done, I don't have enough time to *dig* into it," etc. I really enjoy watching you work yourself up into an energetic, not quite manic state, talking about these things. I keep expecting a significant other to interrupt you, and "walk" you back down to a calmer state. Keep it up, though, you are brilliant, and this kind of self awareness is how we grow and I think we are encouraged, too often, to just ignore ourselves for the sake of productivity and it result is us being miserable and self loathing, which causes us to resent others when we see them taking care of themselves in a holistic manner. I feel that's why some people are nasty and mean to others. I'm not much of a mystic, but Carl Jung was definitely on to something when he described our shadows.
A few things. 1: Thanks for the video. I learned that Feynman's relationship to physics is actually similar to my relationship to music. 2: A video dedicated to how you "sharpen the axe" would be really helpful. And 3: A conversation between you and a hyper-disciplined individual like Jocko Willink is probably unlikely to happen, but would be entertaining for sure lol. Thanks again :)
@@Ella-ks7jp Doesn't strike me as the type of guy to do that. It would be especially hard to talk over Elizabeth anyway seeing as how she's able to get out 100 words per second lol.
You perfectly summed up my thoughts around rewards as an adult. If I want something I'm not going to wait for myself to do XYZ task. I'm just going to get the "reward" because I have the means to do so. My brain just won't do the carrot and stick mental gymnastics to delay something. Also I realize this kind of sounds like I'm an entitled shit, but I'm not a mindless shopper, I'm very intentional in my spending. But once I decide, delaying is just infinitely frustrating.
Elizabeth, this has blown me away - I found your clear and eloquent explanation life-changing. It has opened my eyes to the ways that I have tried to motivate myself through external rewards or punishment. This notion of internalising a parent (I am going to add another few categories ) /Relative / Manager /bully / or anyone else that has had some influence on us is really interesting. The notion of learning to trust yourself to " Get things done" Because you want to, rather than tuning in to your internal self-talk and listening to one of the counterparties mentioned above. I also love the concept of checking in with yourself before starting to ensure that you are in the right frame of mind. Your notion of Sine Waves resonates with me (No pun intended). Simply awesome stuff - You're an Angel 🙂
I heard about a similar study done with adults. They were given a menial task, like scrubbing a floor and given payment for it. The payment was either 1 Euro or 10 Euro (not sure about the exact numbers anymore). Those, who were given more money, when asked, were less likely to wanna do that again. They felt like they were doing it for the payment. Those, who were not given much money couldn't explain it as "I do it because of the money". So only "I do it because I like to do it" was the only possible explanation left.
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The first one hit very close to home. I am stressed to a point I have a permanent taste of bile in my mouth, because I want to do my gadgetry and always tell myself "I can do it AFTER I study" and am going through a difficult time on top of that, and have been for a while. I think if I'd just let myself vibe, I may not get much done for a while, but would organically return to enjoying to study. As it is now, I feel excessively guilty when I don't study and do my hobbies instead (which I do plan to monetize, so it's not "lost time" or "laziness"), and am never enjoying myself and sleeping poorly for it. I really gotta get my shit together, your videos help a lot!
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Thank you for this insightful video! Original and well articulated as usual. The timing thing is something I have often found myself struggling with. Here’s what I found to be true for me: The pomodoro method can be helpful just to get over that initial hurdle of getting started (You only have to do this for 25 minutes, then we‘ll renegotiate!) but also to complete boring tasks that my brain is really reluctant to doing and that I simply cannot find any intrinsic motivation for. For everything else, what I have now learned is called the medieval timing strategy just serves me soo much better, especially because like you I’m time blind and can get very discouraged if a task takes me longer than anticipated. So my rule for motivating myself to start a new task is: Start with one pomodoro. If I get into the task, I stop the timer and just keep going. If I find myself still resisting the task after the first 25 minutes, I will continue with the pomodoro method and make sure to use the breaks for something more fun.
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I relate to your view and experiences. I am an impatient person on the inside. So yes, waiting for an exact deadline for a reward just makes me more anxious and frustrated, like i am grinding on the job just for the sake of inching closer that reward. Very true that rewarding myself when i want it is making me happier, instead of scheduling it ahead where my mood or situation at that future time might be totally different.
That paid by the hour thing is so true. My experience has definitely been that it nudges you into a kind of half-committed lethargy, where you’re neither engaged nor disengaged. It takes a lot of striving to stay committed in those jobs; I think being paid by the task can keep you in touch with the importance of the work.
It is so scary how we have the SAME problems, and the way you approach them is so different to mine. I find that your approach should be my guideline and that your self awareness is so adaptable to my situation. I have known for some time that the stories we tell ourselves about who we are and what is happening in our life actually cements our reality for us. And I knew that my narrative to myself was harming me, but couldn't for the life of me change the self talk and find the right narrative. I found that narrative here, in these videos that you post. Thank you, from the inmost depths of my heart, for deciding to put your self discoveries here. I am so very grateful for your attitude to life making you you, this unique, amazing individual, with so much personal awareness. Bless you, Elizabeth ❤
Absolutely love your alternative view on motivation, work and other stuff. I’m fed up with plastic cliches about discipline and success that I see in 80% of Yotube videos
1. give yourself small rewards whenever you want or need them rather than forcing yourself to get them as soon as you're done with an activity 2. do specific tasks based on what you want to learn or accomplish, and reward yourself for the task
I just want to thank you for your videos. I'm going through a very difficult time and your videos are helping me to understand myself better. Everytime I watch one of them I just feel like crying because for so long I just thought of myself as a very useless person since I couldn't deal with things like others do. Watching your videos made me realize (1) I have to understand myself and the way that my mind and body works; and (2) there are people out there that are able to live like this and be successful, it's possible, you just have to adapt your routine and tasks to your way of doing things, instead of force yourself to do things in the way of others, and being frustrating about it. Thank you, Elizabeth
I was so ready for her to just spout the same old 'discipline tips' that every other productivity youtuber spouts when I first discovered her, but was blown away by seeing actual quality content. She's the only one I trust now for tips and advice.
11:35 - This is why I never make my "to-do" lists scheduled for specific times or days, unless I absolutely have to, I just compile a list of things "to-do" and then I let myself work my way through that at my own pace(and I just cross it off the list or add a checkmark after it or whatever once I have accomplished it). It's very rewarding for me to keep reminders that I actually am accomplishing some things, and to keep track of things I need or want to do in general just so I don't forget them entirely, but without that added pressure or judgment like I'm somehow a failure just for not accomplishing it on a specific day or at a specific time and instead simply saving it for another time later on. 😊💜
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Honestly shocking how it feels like you're speaking from my soul, so glad I found your channel, because every single thing you say speaks to me on a deeper level and it's really refreshing to feel like being understood. Incredibly grateful that I can learn from your experience and start making meaningful changes. Bless you and the work you do, and thank you for being you. Much love
Your tips are helping to inspire me so much as someone ADD-leaning (never received an official diagnosis). I’ve done some of these tips and I ALWAYS am more productive when I actually take the time to listen to my needs.
Quick Summary: #1 When you plan to reward yourself for work, it's much more likely that you do the work JUST and ONLY to get the reward. Without the reward in question, you'll likely find pleasure in actually doing the activity, enjoying the journey rather than just the end goal. What's even worse is that... the longer you wait for the reward, the worse your motivation gets over time
I feel like there’s a red thread going through here along the lines of: notice when you aren’t enjoying your work and compensate by making sure you enjoy your next free time... I support this message!
The reason I enjoy these videos so much is because Elizabeth is speaking from a personal perspective, rather than trying to find something that's applicable to a wide variety of people. This is such a key element in mental health, self-help, coaching, consultation, etc. It is so often that people Buck at generalized advice because they don't feel seen in their situation and circumstances. Instead of doing that, Elizabeth is being vulnerable sharing context and citing things, which allows people to then just take the information and figure out how to extrapolate it to themselves, well by themselves! Thank you for sharing your experiences, I really appreciate the thoughtfulness you put in and the humility you have to recognize that this is a part of your journey not the final results of self-reflection.
Very true, came across a podcast just yesterday on the Art of Manliness, sharing about the toxicity of a reward motivation system and routine systems patterns
I just love your videos! You are unique and totally different from other youtubers, you create your own content with your creativity 🖤👏🏻 Keep up the good work 🙃✨🙌🏻
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Sister, this explanation was so good. Well I actually related to nearly all of them, about 99 %. Your approach is really different, but very unique. The bit of physics like explanation, made stuff much clear. Thanks, Elizabeth.
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Very well explained ❤.In short, we can say if pulling out motivation, then it's not healthy. Things need to do 1)not Reward yourself 2)Give extra pay for extra work 3) Don't work for hours 4)Change workload depends upon current mood So to have natural motivation for work😊
I've been paddling around in RU-vid self-help land and I've often found myself looking at some of these videos and thinking: Your brain is very different from my brain. But I find myself really seeing the way my brain works in your videos. The unmotivated work is the worst work is absolutely resonant for me. I like the idea of digging into motivation. There's another video where you talk about priming the motivation as sharpening the axe and HUH. Never approached it like that. Definitely should. Thank you.
You mentioned how a plumber stops in and leaves in 30 minutes when his job is completed , I've always noticed that say when I'm house cleaning the amount and pace of work I'm able to accomplish Falls far short of what I've always been able to do in the capacity of my time being paid for as a professional chef, and also of note when you " go into work, by and large you pretty much have to get the job done regardless of exactly how you mentally or physically feel!, which perhaps circles back to your reward bits and pieces", absolutely love your Channel
Yesss to rewarding yourself whenever you want. I love how you explained how to compensate yourself properly. Doing things according to tasks versus the time has also helped me to do more and better. Loool I also hate the pomodoro method 😩Checking in with your feelings before doing stuff is a great tip. Enjoyed your insights on motivation, Liz 🙂
I’m good with getting my curiosity gets the best of me, trying new things out and by the time I’m good at it, I’m getting bored of it easily. Yet the only thing that never bores me is reading. Reading takes up like almost 90% of my time, unless I’m working. It was because my mom would bring me and my brother to library almost everyday, tho I spent most time playing but my mom never stopped me for me being me or saying will reward me if I read a book and just brought me there without a fail. And without knowing it, I am a total avid reader and gain a lot of knowledge through it. What a informative video!
Thank you so so so much Elizabeth for motivating me and I really love your videos so so much you are my inspiration and I wish you reach 500K Subscribers very very soon!💞✨☺️
First off great video, We seem to be very much alike personality wise! But I wanted to ask you something. Atm I'm studying physics in uni and I've hit a motivational trough, because I had the flu for 2 weeks and I'm lagging behind big time. Since my motivation is at an all time low, I would rather do something I enjoy more most of the time (in this case writing). But if I fall behind even more I might not be able to catch up anymore. I used to be able to do this in school but physics in uni is just an entirely different caliber and I need to stay on the ball nonstop. Do you have any advice for me? ps.: Sorry for being too wordy but I just couldn't sum it up shorter...
I don't know if this is the right advice for you, but for me I've learned that I need to check in with myself every day to see whether the activity or task feels right, whether my body is well enough to dedicate energy to it, rather than just fitting in with the expectation of the uni or the boss. I've learned that burnout catches up with me eventually, I've learned these lessons the hardest way! there is such a thing as post-viral illness which can last a very long time like long covid, want to avoid this, I think it could be helped by keeping happy and healthy during recovery from the initial sickness. Maybe consider whether you need more time to fully get better from your sickness? If so maybe your uni could give you an exemption or postponement? Or maybe it's more a thing of easing yourself back into the subject matter with a topic you enjoy? Remembering why did you start it in the first place.
@@hugbloom2664 Yes I took an extra few days off to make sure I’m completely healthy, which didn’t exactly help me progress wise 😅. But yes I do still feel some level of fatigue which is probably also one of the reasons for my lack of motivation! You are right I should start with something engaging and tangible like experimental physics before jumpin head first right into the unrelenting maws of linear algebra 😂. This is actually sound advice, thank you!
@F Karma I’m somewhat of a perfectionist and I have a bad habbit of throwing in the towel if I don’t have a “perfect” start or I hit a rough patch. My biggest problem is seeing all my peers being successful while I’m just struggling with the basics. It’s actually a huge blow to my self esteem and I kinda ended up isolating myself from everybody else cause I’m ashamed of what they’ll think of me when they find out how much I suck! But you are right I really need to pick myself up and get back on track, I can actually catch up 2 weeks i just need to make a schedule and work hard! Thanks for your kind words and assistance, I actually really needed that ❤️
@F Karma thats a good idea, just override the OCD with a little trick. Right now I’m gonna start slow and progressively add more and more workload. I just have to start thinking about it in a rational way just like you described it, doing something is better than giving up right away. thank you again!
Society has imprinted in our minds such poor concepts of everything in general that we doubt even the most basic and logical things. Especially for people who are in developing nations. Whenever I watch your videos it just makes me realize how a lot of what I'm struggling through right now has been because of the way and the environment in which I was brought up. Though I can say this easily on this platform, saying it out loud will most definitely result in me being called a crybaby, someone who cannot rise above her circumstances and complains all the time. This is why I strive to be a better person, a better individual who can rise above all these prejudices and change the environment around her for the better. I've a long long long way to go and your channel sure helps me in my journey. As for this video, I cannot agree more. Asking yourself how you are feeling instead of forcefully doing the task is something that will take a lot of time to inculcate but we'll get there. Thank you for the video!
I feel like I found my soul sister when I listen to you ❤️❤️ You are really talking for people for whom generalised ways do not work out and I understand it might have been a hard time for you to have walked out the same path and come out with solutions... I just wanna say thankyou so much 😊
#3 reminds me of jogging- it's much more fun to run a specific trail with beautiful scenery from start to finish rather than saying "im going to jog for an hour".
I like using my study/work breaks to reward myself for the task’s I’ve completed. I identify the things I deem rewarding (like watching youtube, making coffee, etc.) and then I intentionally restrict myself from them until I’ve made a justifiable ammount of progress on my work. Maybe you could make a video on Delayd Gratification, and how intentional self-rewarding can motivate people ? I know there’s a ton of research on the topic of delayd gratification and motivation respectively. Maybe you can link them Elisabeth ? In short, all I’ve done is to switch my order of actions around. Now I work first and reward myself after. This keeps me from procrastinating because I used to reward myself in all kinds of ways before starting with projects. Then I just never start with them, or I get high off the “deadline adrenaline”. As you said, the reward must be equal to the effort it took for the action. Thus - small task, small reward. Big task, Big reward. I see this as an artificial but effective motivation method. Metaphore: I would rather hang a carrot in front of myself and use it as motivation to walk to shade and eat it when i get there, than lying in the sun, eating that same carrot, and hating myself for not being in the shade.
Thanks Elizabeth Filips for me the things that I learn new is emotional stable and find the things that I really like first adding things in my lfie and done the delete the things I dont wish to do
That task based work clicks with me, usually I have mentality of making sure I always show up for personal work and have to put in the hours. But specific goals for each night sounds lke a better way
There are a lot of productivity videos that don't strongly resonate with me (even some from this channel) but this one really does! Thank you for posting it and just goes to show there's a lot of exploration to be done to understand ourselves.
I am so impressed, and this is the fourth video that I have seen today! As a 25yo trying to figure everything out, I really needed to hear this. Also, when you finish your medical schooling, can you be my doctor haha the way you think about yourself and talk about yourself and accept different parts of yourself is truly a breath of fresh air!
Imho: the reward of doing anything is: getting beter at it and thereby increasing the enjoyment of pursuing it further. It is self-rewarding. Not forcing a pattern/timed routine but reaping the yielded rewards (of progress) is what should motivate you to continue. Having breaks or rewards are things that you can use to allow yourself for loving yourself. Loving yourself comes from taking care your needs; these include furthering things that you started AND ALSO indulging in activities that keep the self that is pursuing the loftier goals able to continue doing so without starting to loath the tasks. Really like your 'confessions' and think that you are very worthwhile listening and/or looking at.
Hot damn, that mood-motivation wave is all too familiar to the way I have tried to make sense of my mood and productivity for years. I called it the sine wave of happiness, but now that you've put it as you have, I realize there's a lot more to that AND that I was in the right direction. Thank you!
Thanks for this video, really needed this one right now. The point of life at which intrinsic motivation is very low due to some other parts of life and at the same time had to finish a very crucial project.
This is so cool. Really appreciate seeing your productivity videos. I love how you talk about trusting yourself, and in many ways respecting yourself. So much of what we hear about being driven, motivated, hard working is tied to our self worth. I love how we are beginning to deconstruct this idea as a society so we can ultimately shift this. Much love x
OMG, girl! You're the first one getting my Problem just on point. The graphic design motivates me to click your videos and really learn long-term. Thank you so much , Love your work ❤️
this video found me today, when I finally broke down after putting off mental health days/PTO for too long. I kept telling myself "paid holidays are almost here, just stick it out". Such a bad choice; I don't even want to do my favorite hobbies 😭
You know, ive been watching your videos for a while and reading a lot of the comments, and it made me realize how neurodivergent friendly your content is, and I sincerely thank you for that.
3. medieval time tracking: by the task rather than by the hour. Thank you for this. I feel like this is my default but after learning about the pomodoro method and ultradium cycles and other time management techniques, I've deviated from it and find myself having to "punch in" and out of deep work. Consequently, I've turned deep work - which I very much enjoy - into common, dull work.
This is so on point! I had very strict parents growing up and when I went away to uni and lived on my own- it was like any reasoning I’d been taught on making good decisions went out the window! No parents there to disapprove so I made every bad impulsive choice I could. Now my adult, recently-diagnosed-ADHD-self is trying to learn how to motivate myself using something other than ‘paralysing fear of other peoples disapproval’ as a tactic. But this is something that works when I can figure it out. On the other hand having a ‘reward’ dangling in front of me doesn’t encourage or motivate me, it just distracts. Like it shifts my mentality from my goal being to complete the task to my goal being the reward. So I’ll be focussed on that to the detriment of rushing the task itself (since it’s no longer the goal right?) and doing a bad job. Reasoning with my brain already involves a lot of exhausting mental gymnastics, adding in ‘prizes’ that I’m supposed to win for completing things just makes things more convoluted in my experience.
i love your content! i used to beat myself up over not maintaining habits for a long period of time. but thanks to you and dr K from healthy gamer ive learned to accept it and even leverage my motivation. theres no shame in being impatient and driven by my motivation as long as im smart about it. also i didnt realize how TRUE it is that thinking about tasks based on how long they take is making me miserable. i gotta learn to get that habit out of my head
Wow. This was phenomenal. You outlined the way I’ve approached many things in life in such a clear and understandable way while also adding useful and sustainable tips. I used to feel shame for getting things done in this way, and believing I had to be consistent and plan things in the way everyone said it should be done. The fourth trip was particularly powerful for me. Thank you for normalizing different ways of approaching life and productivity and managing emotions. ❤
